The Easy School of Hard Knocks

Today's episode is an excerpt from a recent episode of The Trumpet Jungle podcast, where I featured a stellar young trumpeter named Patrick Oliverio. Patrick was awarded First Place in the graduate division of the National Trumpet Competition in 2017. I asked him what he does to prepare for an important performance such as that one. This is what he said. You can hear my entire conversation w/ Patrick at https://jamesnewcomb.io/patricko P.S. I used two "pop" filters for today's episode title.

George Carlin's wife died early in 2008 and George followed her, dying in July 2008. It is ironic George Carlin - the crude, oft-controversial comedian of the 70's and 80's - could write something so very eloquent and so very appropriate. An observation by George Carlin: The paradox of our time in history is that we have taller buildings but shorter tempers, wider Freeways, but narrower viewpoints. We spend more, but have less, we buy more, but enjoy less. We have bigger houses and smaller families, more conveniences, but less time. We have more degrees but less sense, more knowledge, but less judgment, more experts, yet more problems, more medicine, but less wellness. We drink too much, smoke too much, spend too recklessly, laugh too little, drive too fast, get too angry, stay up too late, get up too tired, read too little, watch TV too much, and pray too seldom. We have multiplied our possessions, but reduced our values. We talk too much, love too seldom, and hate too often. We've learned how to make a living, but not a life. We've added years to life not life to years. We've been all the way to the moon and back, but have trouble crossing the street to meet a new neighbor. We conquered outer space but not inner space. We've done larger things, but not better things. We've cleaned up the air, but polluted the soul. We've conquered the atom, but not our prejudice. We write more, but learn less. We plan more, but accomplish less. We've learned to rush, but not to wait. We build more computers to hold more information, to produce more copies than ever, but we communicate less and less. These are the times of fast foods and slow digestion, big men and small character, steep profits and shallow relationships. These are the days of two incomes but more divorce, fancier houses, but broken homes. These are days of quick trips, disposable diapers, throwaway morality, one night stands, overweight bodies, and pills that do everything from cheer, to quiet, to kill. It is a time when there is much in the showroom window and nothing in the stockroom. A time when technology can bring this letter to you, and a time when you can choose either to share this insight, or to just hit delete. Remember to spend some time with your loved ones, because they are not going to be around forever. Remember, say a kind word to someone who looks up to you in awe, because that little person soon will grow up and leave your side. Remember, to give a warm hug to the one next to you, because that is the only treasure you can give with your heart and it doesn't cost a cent. Remember, to say, 'I love you' to your partner and your loved ones, but most of all mean it. A kiss and an embrace will mend hurt when it comes from deep inside of you. Remember to hold hands and cherish the moment for someday that person will not be there again. Give time to love, give time to speak! And give time to share the precious thoughts in your mind. And always remember, life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by those moments that take our breath away.

An excerpt from Man's Search for Meaning by Viktor Frankl, the eminent psychologist who was interred in the Auschwitz concentration camp during WWII. Subscribe, like, rate, review my little show. Just type in checkoutmypodcast.com in your browser. Thanks for listening.

Recently, the wife of the superintendent of the district where my son attends school was in hot water because of a rather foolish post she made on social media that insulted President Trump. I discuss the incident, and why Trump, although he has said far more outrageous and inappropriate things, is superior to this poor lady. It's all about control, i.e. of your emotions and your words. Trump is calculating with his words, which often appear to be ridiculous, knowing he'll get a strong reaction, be it positive or negative. This woman, a no-name wife of a small school district superintendent was the reaction.

Alice hails a taxi. Bob pulls over. Alice gets in. Bob asks, “Where to?” Alice hands Bob a piece of paper. Bob glances at it. It’s a list of directions: “Turn left at the corner, turn right at the second light, stay left at the fork...” and so on. It doesn’t say the destination. Just step-by-step instructions. It’s a long list. Bob isn’t sure where they lead. Three Scenarios: 1. Alice doesn’t know her way around very well. She found the directions on some website. Bob doesn’t bother to ask where she is headed. He just takes the directions and follows them. They get to the end of the instructions, but Alice is not where she expected to be. She gets panicky and starts ordering Bob to do things like, “drive around the block” or “try the next street over”. Bob complies silently. Meanwhile, the meter is tick tick ticking away. Alice is getting more and more agitated. She’s now running late and her fare is ballooning. Bob has done exactly as instructed, but Alice is increasingly dissatisfied. They eventually find her destination. Alice begrudgingly pays $120 for the ride. Alice gets out of the cab and Bob drives away. 2. Alice doesn’t know her way around very well. She found the directions on some website. When she hands them to Bob, he asks, “Where are these supposed to take us?” Alice says “123 Main Street.” Bob says, “These directions are out of date. There’s construction on this route and terrible traffic this time of day. I know a shortcut that will get us there in half the time.” Alice fears Bob is trying to scam her and she tells him so. Bob asks, “How much were you expecting the ride to be?” Alice says, “About $100.” Bob says, “I’ll get you there my way for $75. Deal?” Alice agrees. Bob gets her to the destination quickly and without incident. Alice pays the $75 fare and gets out of the cab. Bob drives away. 3. Alice doesn’t know her way around very well. She found the directions on some website. When she hands them to Bob, he asks “Where are these supposed to take us?” Alice says “123 Main Street.” Bob asks, “Why do you want to go there?” Alice says, “It’s a flower shop. I need to pick up a dozen roses.” Bob says, “That shop is closed today.” Alice asks, “How do you know for sure?” Bob says, “Because it’s my shop. I drive a cab on my day off.” Bob continues, “As luck would have it, I’ve got a dozen roses in the trunk. I’ll sell them you for $60. Deal?” They both get out of the cab, having driven nowhere. Alice gladly pays Bob $60 for the roses. Bob gets back in the cab and drives away. Three Outcomes: 1. Alice spent 60 minutes in a cab and is now standing in front of a closed flower shop. She has spent $120, is late for her next appointment, and still needs to figure out where she’s going to get a dozen roses. Alice is angry. Bob has driven his car down half the blind alleys in the area, endured an insulting amount of micromanagement, and been brow-beaten by a disgruntled customer for a full hour. For this, he grossed $120 from which he must deduct his time, gas, and wear and tear on both the vehicle and his emotional well being. Bob is dejected. 2. Alice spent 45 minutes in a cab and is now standing in front of a closed flower shop. She has spent $75 and but still needs to figure out where she’s going to get a dozen roses. Alice is satisfied by the cab ride specifically, but is distressed overall. Bob minimized his costs (e.g., time, gas, mileage, stress) and is enjoying the small rush of pride that comes from a job well done. Bob grossed $75, which is significantly less revenue than the $120 in scenario 1, but arguably more profitable because his costs were dramatically lower. Bob is energized. 3. Alice hasn’t had to travel anywhere. She has spent $60, is early for her next appointment, and is holding a dozen roses. Alice is delighted. Bob has eliminated his costs completely, sold a dozen roses for triple what he paid for them, and has delighted a...

Bill Galvin of the Center on Conscience and War joined me on a Skype call to discuss the modern conscientious objector, how the Center on Conscience and War helps those who identify as conscientious objectors lawfully be released from their enlistments or commissions, and several stories of people who have "hit a point of no return" and simply could not reconcile their views with their military service. Learn more about the Center on Conscience and War.

It wasn't because he couldn't play football, that's for sure. Like what you're hearing? Then check out my podcast. checkoutmypodcast.com

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Imagine this…You’re playing for the minor league affiliate of the New York Yankees. You’re a professional ball player, but you’re young, wet behind the ears – and inexperienced enough to believe you can do anything.  Then one day, you get a phone call. You’ve been called up to the major league club and you’re the starting pitcher in the playoffs…and you’re pitching tomorrow. Chris Coletti can relate to this. In 2009, he was a young trumpet stud at the Juilliard School. He had just won an audition with a small town orchestra and was brimming with confidence in his budding career as a professional musician. Then he got The Call. The Canadian Brass, one of the most esteemed and recognizable ensembles in the world of classical music, needed a trumpet player. And they wanted him. Of course he answered the call. And there he was. Thrust into the spotlight. Headlining performances at tiny, little known venues such as Carnegie Hall. The Kennedy Center. Lincoln Center, to name just a few. Some of the best and most accomplished trumpeters of our time preceded Chris. What big shoes to fill. Suddenly he had the pressure of performing at a very high level on the biggest stage possible in his world. Perhaps you’re thinking to yourself, “I don’t know if I could do that at that age. I think the pressure would be great for me.” I suppose one could be forgiven for thinking such things. On the other hand, you probably don’t weed out potential life partners by singing operatic soprano arias and whistling violin partitas written by Johann Sebastian Bach. These are just a couple of Chris’ many talents outside of playing the trumpet…and is one of the reasons he’ll never pay for another drink in his life. So 24 year old Chris Coletti answered the call. And boy did he deliver. In addition to adding operatic soprano singing to the Canadian Brass’ bag of crowd pleasing tricks during his 10 year tenure, he composed and arranged pieces, and delivered one dynamic performance after another. Now ten years older – and wiser – Chris has decided it’s time to step away from the Canadian Brass. Why? Because in 10 years, his situation, his perspective, his priorities, have changed. He’s now a husband and a father. The glories of his role with the Canadian Brass were increasingly a stark contrast with the realities of parenting. It was simply time to step aside and make room for another person who is better equipped to carry the group into the future. What you’re about to hear is the story of an individual who has given his heart and his soul to his craft. Chris can tell you what will emotionally move an audience of musical “civilians” and what will move an audience of musical aficionados who are nit-picking your every move. And you might be surprised to hear that it’s really the same thing when you get right down to it. And now that he has moved into a new chapter of his life, you’ll hear about the decision to step away from a role that was glorious and deeply fulfilling on many levels, and into another role that is dirty, exhausting, inglorious at times – and right where his soul has him to be at this moment. Here’s a sample from Chris’ blog (http://trumpetchrisblog.com) : “Music is an art, a social art, one that is extremely rewarding from the first moment we experience it. As an educator, I find the most fascinating thing to be uncovering what makes each student tick–what drives them, what musical and career goals will make them feel fulfilled. Motivation comes in a variety of ways, and we teachers have in a uniquely influential job: to identify a student’s strengths and passions and turn them into a powerful and positive driving force in their life…” A few of the more salient points from my chat with Chris Coletti:-Chris’ career aspirations as a young conservatory student-What is life like as a student at Juilliard?-To specialize, or not to specialize…-The foolproof method of winning a...

What has worked for me when it comes to New Year's resolutions. To sum up: begin working the moment you make the resolution. If you wait until January 1, you've already lost.

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From the website, All That's Interesting... https://allthatsinteresting.com/christmas-truce-of-1914 "Silent Night" from A Christmas Tribute to Mannheim Steamroller (c) 2012 The Westwind Ensemble

Merry Christmas and Happy Hanukkah from the Newcombio Team!

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How do you define success? What about failure? Check out my brand new ebook, Success and Failure. I didn't write it. A British guy wrote it in the late 1800's. So the language is a bit dated, but the wisdom and principles in it are timeless. Just go to my home page, https://jamesnewcomb.io and you can download Success and Failure for FREE! You're welcome.

What are your thoughts on what I shared in today's episode? Drop me a line: james@jamesnewcomb.io

Dan Gable in 1966 decided that he wanted to win the 1972 Olympic Games. So, he started training. He trained at least once a day, and usually twice a day, and he had very injured knees. One doctor said, “Dan, if you keep wrestling, you might be crippled for the rest of your life.” Dan Gable kept wrestling. He found that wrestling on one leg made him a better wrestler than wrestling on two legs.                            Las Wednesday, he talked about the year before the Olympics, he entered the biggest wrestling tournament in the world. Tbilisi is the capital in Georgia, and back at that time, it was still part of the Soviet Union.                           So, they had this wrestling tournament, and Dan Gable won his weight class, and was given the Outstanding Wrestler Award. Now, wresting line Russia is huge, and at the end of their tournaments which are several day affairs, they had this banquet with 10,000 people where they honored all the champions, and they especially honored Dan Gable.                           So, Dan Gable after he got all his awards, he went back to his table, and the head of the Russian Wrestling Federation is talking in Russian, and every once in a while he heard, “Goble, Goble, Goble.” He said to his buddy next to him who spoke Russian, “Is he talking about me?” He said, “Yes, he is.” He said, “What’s he saying?” He said, “I’ll tell you when he’s done.”                           So, when the Head of the Russian Wrestling Federation was done, Gable’s friend said, “He said that between now and the 1972 Olympics, they’re going to every state in the Soviet Union, they are going to every school, they are going to every wrestling club, and they are going to find a person to beat the American Dan Gable in the 1972 Olympics.”                            Last week, Dan Gable said something awesome. He said, “When he told me that sentence, all of a sudden, I got this excitement in my body. I said, ‘I’m taking it to the next level.’”                           Now, when I told this story to my class a couple of days ago, this kid put his hand up, he said, “Hey, Doctor Gilbert, there have been other Americans who have won gold medals in wrestling. Why you making such a big deal about Dan Gable?” I said, “You’re right. There are others wrestlers who have won more than one gold medal in Olympics, but Dan Gable did something that nobody in the history of the world ever did.”                           When Dan Gable won his Olympic gold medal in 1972, nobody even scored one point on him. He shut out each and every one of his opponents. That would be the equivalent to a pitcher pitching three no-hitters in the World Series. So, Dan Gable shut out each and every one of them.                            Now, in the ramp up to the 1972 Olympics, he trained for six years, and somebody said, “What motivated you?” He said, “I knew I had to beat a Russian

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One day this expert was speaking to a group of business students and, to drive home a point, used an illustration I’m sure those students will never forget. After I share it with you, you’ll never forget it either. As this man stood in front of the group of high-powered over-achievers he said, "Okay, time for a quiz." Then he pulled out a one-gallon, wide-mouthed mason jar and set it on a table in front of him. Then he produced about a dozen fist-sized rocks and carefully placed them, one at a time, into the jar. When the jar was filled to the top and no more rocks would fit inside, he asked, "Is this jar full?" Everyone in the class said, "Yes." Then he said, "Really?" He reached under the table and pulled out a bucket of gravel. Then he dumped some gravel in and shook the jar causing pieces of gravel to work themselves down into the spaces between the big rocks. Then he smiled and asked the group once more, "Is the jar full?" By this time the class was onto him. "Probably not," one of them answered. "Good!" he replied. And he reached under the table and brought out a bucket of sand. He started dumping the sand in and it went into all the spaces left between the rocks and the gravel. Once more he asked the question, "Is this jar full?" "No!" the class shouted. Once again he said, "Good!" Then he grabbed a pitcher of water and began to pour it in until the jar was filled to the brim. Then he looked up at the class and asked, "What is the point of this illustration?" One eager beaver raised his hand and said, "The point is, no matter how full your schedule is, if you try really hard, you can always fit some more things into it!" "No," the speaker replied, "that’s not the point. The truth this illustration teaches us is: If you don’t put the big rocks in first, you’ll never get them in at all." What are the big rocks in your life? A project that you want to accomplish? Time with your loved ones? Your faith, your education, your finances? A cause? Teaching or mentoring others? Remember to put these Big Rocks in first or you’ll never get them in at all.

Once upon a time there was a seed buried in the mud. It was in dark blackness. It was cold and wet. It shivered. It was just plain no fun. It was icky. It was dirty. It was muddy. It was mucky. It was stuck in the mud. How it got there is a little 3 sentence story. One nice breezy Fall day, it had fallen on the ground. Then it rained a little. And a deer came along and stepped on it and pushed it deep in the mud. Life just wasn't fair. It was all alone. If only it had fallen like the other seeds in the grass, or on the log over there, or at least not been stepped on. But what the little seed did not see was the mouse that ate the seeds in the grass and the bird that ate the seeds on the log and the chipmunk that gathered the seeds on the ground to store and eat all winter long. It couldn't see this because it was stuck in the mud. It didn't know how lucky it was. Now besides being squished tight in the mud, it was also locked in it's shell. It tried to get out of it's terrible predicament, but the Fall days got shorter and shorter. It got colder and colder too. It had no strength to get out of its shell. The mud was frozen solid, the deep snow covered it. It went through a terribly cold and dark winter. Finally, after what seemed forever, slowly the days grew a little longer, a little warmer. The seed had work to do. It began to grow. The water in the mud had softened its shell. Still, how hard it was to get out of its shell ! It had to exert energy like never before. It struggled and struggled. Finally it broke free. Then it used more energy to go not up, but down, struggling to send a tiny little root through that compacted mud -- that terribly icky place. It needed something to tightly hold on to, because........ ...now it had to struggle yet again with great effort to send a tiny little shoot to the light above -- through all that icky mud. Finally it was free. It reached the warm sunlight. You would think its troubles were over. Not so fast. In a whole year it grew only a few inches, while the other plants grew by leaps and bounds, as if to mock the little seed. Every fall it lost its leaves. In winter it barely survived, covered with snow. And as it got a little taller, it had to go through windstorms and blizzards. But one thing was peculiar. Even while it slowly grew up to the sunny blue sky, it never forgot its roots. It had the wisdom to keep growing its roots deeper and deeper in the mud. In fact, it used every wind storm, every blizzard, every shaking, every vibration to wiggle its roots deeper and deeper into the black icky mud. It knew the importance of a solid foundation, because it always remembered where it came from, how it had been protected and helped by the mud. The years rolled on, and the seasons too. Each summer it so slowly but surely grew. Each winter it became a little tougher and stronger. It had little joys and little sorrows throughout its life like all of us do. Then came the fiercest of all storms. The wind blew so violently this way and that. Trees all around were dashed to the ground, broken, uprooted, a jangled mess. After the devastation, the sun shone once again. To be sure, it didn't look so pretty, some leaves were missing, in fact, quite a few, but that would soon be remedied. Because it hadn't forgotten its roots as a seed in the mud, it stood there in all its glory. It had become the mighty oak tree.

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The most successful college football coach of all time was Knute Rockne of Notre Dame and he had tremendous seasons but one year in the late 20s he had an average team and they had a big game towards the end of the season against the undefeated cadets from West Point at Yankee Stadium.  So Rockne got the team in the locker room before the game, he said “You all know who George Gipp was?  George Gipp is the greatest player ever in the history of Notre Dame.  You might have known the story that his senior year he died right on campus on our infirmary and I was with him the night he died tragically and I said “George is there anything I can do for you?”  He said “This is it.  There’s nothing you can do for me” He said “George, there must be something I can do for you” and he looked up at me and he was very short of breath and he said “Coach, there’s going to come a time when you’re going to want to win a game more than anything else in the world.  When that times comes, tell the boys to win one for the Gipper.” Rockne told the story, he looked around the room, he said “Boys, this is that game.” Final score Notre Dame 12 West Point 3. 

The winter Olympics were held in Innsbruck, Austria, from January 29 to February 9, 1964.  In the two-man bobsled, the greatest driver in the world was Eugenio Monti from Italy.  Eugenia just ended his last run in with an incredible time. There was only one team left. Nobody was going to beat the Italians.  The last team was from Great Britain with Tony Nash as the driver. Tony was good but nobody was going to beat the great Eugenio Monti’s time.  At the end of the course Eugenio Monti's team was celebrating.  Part of Tony Nash's sled was broken. And he can’t take his last run.  And Eugenio Monti said “Which part?” And the guy told him.  Tony Nash had the exact same sled, so Eugenio Monti detached the part from his sled, sent it up to the top of the course and Tony Nash attached it to his sled. Nash took his last run, and won.  Eugenio Monti didn’t want to win because somebody had an defected sled.  He wanted his best to be against Tony Nash’s best, and he lost.  Four years later Monti won We’re still telling this story because that was one of the great stories of sportsmanship of all time. And because of that Monti won the Pierre de Coubertin Sportsmanship Award, which is very rarely given out.  It's only been given out a few times in the history of the Olympic Games. What about you? Are you in it to win it at all cost?

Let me tell you a story about somebody who had big hopes for his future, but procrastination got in his way. This is the story about Johnny. Johnny was from New Jersey, and Johnny was going to school part-time, and then he dropped out and became a salesperson. He was a pretty good salesman.  Every day at lunch, no matter where he was, he came back and went to the exact same diner. He sat in the exact same place and he ordered the exact same meal. You think, “Well, he must have really liked the diner.” No, no, no. He really liked the waitress. Every day he gave her a really good tip, but he was so tongue-tied, so taken by her, he could hardly talk to her.  One day he left the diner. He was disgusted with himself, because he thought, “I’m going to ask her out today,” but other than ordering, he couldn’t say anything to her. He said, “Okay. I figured this out. The reason I can’t talk to her is I don’t feel like I’m good enough for her. Starting tomorrow, I’m going to go back to school. I’m going to get my degree. I’m going to go to the gym. I’m going to lose weight. I’m going to get in better shape. I’m going to make more money at work. Then a year from today, I’m going to come back and ask her out for a date. I’m not going to show up for a whole year, but every single day, I’m going to write her an old-fashioned snail-mail letter, and the mailman will deliver it.” He kept resolute. The next day he joined a gym. He went down to the school, signed up for courses. He started doing better at work. As the months went by, things started working out, and every single day the mailman delivered his letter. Now a year had passed. Of course, he wrote her. She never, ever wrote him back. He said, “Well, I’m going to come in next Friday. I’m going to ask you out.” He says, “Now I look different. I have a better car, and I dress better, and I got my degree. Everything’s going great, and I want to go on a date with you.”  He came into the diner, and when she saw him, she ran over and threw her arms around him, and he said, “Wow, that’s a good sign.” Then he sat down in his old seat, and he ordered the same old meal. He said, “Well, you know why I’m here. Will you go on a date this weekend?” She said, “I’d love to, but I can’t.” He said, “Well, why can’t you?” She says, “Well, I just got engaged.” He said, “Who did you get engaged to?,” and she said, “The mailman.” The moral of the story? While Johnny was getting ready, the mailman was taking care of business. Don’t procrastinate. Don’t put things off. You just got to do it, because you lose your dreams. Procrastination is your worst enemy.