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One wanted to do laundry and the other might not have been really there

Also learning for the first time what "disk butt" is

This was a new one

If we're not careful the ocean creatures will rise up and take us all out

Especially when you pick a winning lottery scratcher with it!

Some people are into it... some REALLY aren't

When your little birds fly away... and then come back...

Was he really stuck or just enjoying a new spa-like routine

Seriously, don't worry about returning my 1997 Honda Civic... it's cool.

I give him points for trying but still....

At a restaurant that seems like you're turning money away

Next up a monster truck in case they need to catch Truckzilla

The next it's three-days later and you're being rescued from the woods

Where's Samuel L. Jackson when you need him!

She'll at least steal our mayonaise

In other news, the two adults with him claimed to not have a kid

On a hot Summer day your luxury Mercedes will give you a lasting imprint of their logo

This woman found a very odd example mid-clean

This is too weird for me

It's always been an intrusive thought but I've never actually done it

That sweet tan line? Nope, it's just your skin rotting away... good times.

I'd love to know what the end game was for the potatoes

Better be sure to dump them out and count each one to make sure you got the right amount.

Personally I'm going to be filthy rich and three apples high

Yes, this is totally legit. Now please put your drugs in my pillowcase

They're just making sure you're not going to be a problem

How did I not know the difference?!

Sigh... can someone invent time travel so I can stop younger me from wasting all that cash

Why are they telling us there's some times when you can?

I mean you need to know if it's comfortable in ALL situations

I'm less worried about the Roomba and the pool cleaning bot... keep that robot lawn mower away from me though

They all should get to experience the joy of trying to use the phone when someone is dialed into the internet

In other news, I need to go move my car just in case

Appreciate the passive aggressive nature of the last dude