Church of Lazlo Podcasts

Is Cara Delevingne doing okay? Was she under the influence of something? Also, who is Cara Delevingne? *Moving on. Is Neil Patrick Harris okay? Why is he in trouble for something he did twelve years ago? Why did he have a cake made to look like the corpse of Amy Winehouse? I'm beginning to think that 2011 was a lot longer ago than it sounds. *Accepting the painful realities of life can be difficult but that's just the way it is. Life sucks, get over it. *Doomscrolling!! Congress wants to know if those UFO's have any baby formula on board. The Johnny Cash water tower is now the Johnny Cash water fountain. Johnny Depp's lawyer says Amber Heard never donated money to any of the promised charities. Amber points out that she did in fact pledge the money to charity. Depp's lawyer reminds Amber that "pledge" and "donate" are not the same thing. Amber points out that they are to her. *Remember Field Days in elementary school? Yeah, those were awesome. *Nick Wright is on the program! He's got NFL picks for the 2022 season and a few assesments about Julia's sobriety. *Women on Tik Tok are taking some time to point out how two-faced and disgusting men can be. A lot can change in 11 days. *Thanks for listening to the podcast. Don't forget to follow us on Twitter and Instagram @churchoflazlo and head over to our subreddit www.reddit.com/r/churchoflazlo and get your questions in for GTK tomorrow. -Everybody Wang Chung!! 

The harsh realities of life

Neil Patrick Harris is in trouble again for a cake (or meat tray) he had made of Amy Winehouse

Cara Delevinge was acting really strange at an awards show and people are speculating she was on drugs. Julia wants to ask some experts on drugs, which everyone else on the show happens to be.

Yo! Julia's back and she's off the wagon! This calls for celebration and hard kombucha! Speaking of booze, it's not cheap at the PGA Championship. *The Great Friendship Decline. People report having fewer and fewer friends and Dad reports having zero. *Doomscrolling- We have to start with the terrible news out of Buffalo this weekend but we try to lighten things up from super depressing to just regular depressing.*Do your kids know how to cuss proficiently? If not, you might want to teach them because it could save their life. *Julia's back and so is Bryan! Are they actually the same person? Probably not but that doesn't stop Slim from speculating. This week's advice? How to spot a guy who's fallen out of love with you. *What do crack pipes, scrambled eggs, and vacuum cleaners have in common? Well, we've all gotta have at least one area of expertise. *You're not my daddy! *Thanks for listening to the podcast. Follow us on Twitter and Instagram @churchoflazlo and check out www.lazlo.church  See you tomorrow. -Everybody Wang Chung!!

Everyone's favorite love expert, Bryan, is back with some mind blowing advice on how to tell if he's cheating on you.

A life coach that gives parenting advice says she knows the secret of what kids should do if a stranger tries to take them. AND THE RESULTS WILL SHOCK YOU!

All of the news you could ever need in one place

Slimfast finishes getting us caught up on the news

Slimfast gets us caught up on the news

How many friends do you have? Like actual friends? A new study says people, especially men, are losing friends rapidly. 

I love Friday the 13th! I haven't been in this good of a mood in months. It's just the guys today. Julia will be back on Monday. *One thing about being on the radio in your hometown is that your mother can hear you. Lazlo swears it doesn't bother him but Slimfast still censors himself in case mommy is listening in the car. *Are married women the best women to date when you're single and middle-aged? *A recent poll of 2000 delivery drivers said that 25% of them have had sex in their van/truck. I had no idea things like this happened so often in real life. I should leave the house more often. *Doomscrolling!! Crypto crashed. Sorry if you lost money but maybe it's time for idiots like me to start buying something I don't understand. Finland is building bunkers because Russia is already threatening them for joining NATO. Chile and Ireland are gonna send us some baby formula that we desperately need. Is Elon trying to get out of buying Twitter? Rich people are confusing and we don't understand a speck of it. *Nick Wright is on the program! We're allowed to poke fun at Nick but when other people do it we get angry. Nick sent Slim a Rolex and it's already drawing attention. *School is almost out for summer. Do parents really have parties and burn old books and homework? *Women are finally turning the tables and discussing the red flags in men. Will this get Lazlo worked up? You'll just have to listen. *Have a great day! Follow us on Instagram and Twitter @churchoflazlo @lazlothebuzz @slimfast965 @theradiohag @snowcone965 See you monday!   -Everybody Wang Chung!!!

When your boss calls you into the office for a surprise meeting, you fear the worst. The last thing you expect is the handed $5,000. *Our bosses keep accidentally sending Lazlo emails that he's not supposed to see. Sometimes that ends up being a good thing but today it kind of sucked. *Three judges rule that commenting on a man's baldness is sexual harassment. (All three judges suffer from hair loss) *Doomscrolling!! America just hit a grim milestone. Finland says they're done being neutral. People really love Avatar. Another day, another kid in Livonia Michigan trying to be cooler than Lazlo. Andy Dick is having a terrible, no good, very bad century. *Are you the type of person who puts food in the microwave, walks away, and lets the timer ding all three times? Of course you're not because only crazy people do that. *According to one woman, there are five types of guys on college campuses that you should avoid at all costs. *You've heard of second-wave COVID infections but what about second-wave Matt Damon hate? *Thanks for listening to the podcast and thanks for being you. I love you more than you'll ever know. See you tomorrow. -Everybody Wang Chung!!

Let's settle this once and for all: do you have to open the microwave before the beep, or do you not care and let is beep like a psychopath?

All of the news you could ever use in one place

Slimfast finishes getting us caught up on the news

Slimfast gets us caught up on the news

Is calling someone bald sexual harassment? Well over across the pond, they seem to think so and Lazlo agrees. What about you?

Thanks for staying tuned. No, we will not.

MGM gave all of their employees a $5k bonus. Will we get the same? Stay tuned!

Is it okay to email people in your company and ask them to contribute to a fundraiser? The jury is still out but I wouldn't recommend sending that email if you work with Lazlo. *Don't swim in the pool bar unless you're just there to take a p**s. *Robbers are giving tips on how to not get robbed. If only there was a metaphor that pertained to this type of thing. *Doomscrolling!!! Say goodbye to iPods and hello to commercials on Netflix. The west coast could use a little rain. A man died from a heart attack while trying to dig a hole to bury a woman he'd just strangled to death. A pilot collapses from a medical emergency and the passenger had to land the plane with zero flying experience. Prosecutors say they will not be charging Mike Tyson for punching that dude on the airplane. *A woman filled her ex-husband's phone with child porn because she wanted custody of her kids. *Slimfast swears he was just trying to pee on the dog. *Have a great day! Thanks for listening to the podcast and please tell a friend or two! See you tomorrow... -Everybody Wang Chung!!

All of the news you could ever use in one place

Slimfast finishes getting us caught up on the news

Slimfast gets us caught up on the news

Robbers explain how to not get robbed. I mean, if you're looking for advice on how to not get robbed, there's really no one better to listen to, right?

Are pools gross? And Slimfast proves once again why he's the weirdest guy alive

Day 3 of dealing with the hottest temperature ever recorded on planet earth and isn't it annoying when people try and sell their kids shit at work?

Another scorcher of a program today! It's times like these when we really start to dwell on the fact that none of us have any skills. There are three grown men sitting here today and not one of us knows how to accomplish any task or complete any project. We should work on that. *Nick Wright is on the program! He's having a no good very bad day and he's turned to us for distraction. He's also sent us gifts! We could not be more excited about these gifts!! *Doomscrolling!! The fugitive chase is over. Investigators are checking the hot water heater at the Sandals resort where three people died last weekend. Why are Andrew McCarthy and Jonathan Silverman hanging all over the Queen? Powdered food everywhere but not a drop for babies. I can't decide whether waking up with a strange dog in my bed would be the cutest thing ever or the most horrifying. *How dare you, sir!? How dare you buy your daughter something that I can't afford?! *Are you happy? Do you want to hear three guys defend the Cacio E Pepe girl? Because this is how you get three guys to defend the Cacio E Pepe girl. *So long suckers! I'm getting the hell out of here so that I can be miserable in my own home instead of this smoldering pit of despair. -Everybody Wang Chung!!!

Some guy and his daughter are getting crap online for the car he bought her for her birthday. Slimfast and Lazlo ain't having it

All of the news you could ever use in one place

Slimfast finishes getting us caught up on the news

Slimfast gets us caught up on the news

Our buddy Nick Wright from First Things First on FS1 calls in to the show

Did you know these hit songs were actually about other celebrities? We didn't either

It's so god damn hot out and in the studio

Yo! Welcome back. How was your weekend? It's a million degrees in the studio which is great because we welcome back an old friend to fill in for Julia while she's out doing important radio stuff like Ryan Seacrest.

Remember when the banjo player from Mumford and Sons was cancelled and had to leave the band? That's okay, most people don't Well he's back and is opening up about all that.

All of the news you could ever use in one place

Slimfast finishes getting us caught up on the news

Slimfast gets us caught up on the news

15 things you should know about your significant other within 6 months of dating

Slimfast had an encounter with one of our listeners and wanted to use this opportunity to tell you about how great he is

It's a million degrees in the studio today and our old friend Meredith is back, filling in for Julia

Yo! Happy Friday!! Did anyone else see this talk on Twitter about the monster drawing? This dad claims his kid drew a picture of a monster in class and the teacher ripped it up and threw it away. Dad ain't happy. We've got questions. Snowcone is now tasked with finding this guy and getting him on the show. *Buzzfeed apologized for their Kim K coverage concerning her recent weight loss. They want to make sure everyone knows the risks associated with rapid weight loss and they don't want anyone to try and lose weight when their clothes don't fit. It sounds like they just want us to buy bigger pants. *A high school teacher sent sexually explicit photos and possibly even video of himself to young teenagers at his school. He did not get fired. He did not get in trouble. The kids are in trouble and they freaking should be. *Doomscrolling!! Amber Heard describes the two sides of Johnny Depp. The FDA says absolutely no more J&J unless you just really want it. A Virgin Atlantic flight had to turn around once someone realized that one of the pilots wasn't quite a pilot yet. Two college students have been charged with felonies after harassing...a food delivery robot. *It's been a long time but NICK WRIGHT IS ON THE PROGRAM!! Why was Nick sharing pictures of his wife giving him a lapdance? Are nick and Lil Wayne best friends now? We also manage to talk a little sports for a moment. *It's Friday which means we like to head over to our subreddit r/churchoflazlo and check out the Story Requests. Today, Lazlo will be telling us the story of the leaf pile and the street sweeper that never came. *Thanks for listening! Follow us on social media @churchoflazlo and check out our website www.lazlo.church  See you Monday! -Everybody Wang Chung!!

Nick Wright from First Things First on FS1 calls in

All of the news you will ever need in one place

Slimfast finishes getting us caught up on the news

Slimfast gets us caught up on the news

So get this: A teacher sends a sexually explicit video to some of his students and his students are the ones who get in trouble. Crazy, right? 

There's been a lot of discussion about the dress Kim Kardashian wore to the Met Gala and Buzfeed apologized today for their remarks about it

A father is mad after his daughters drawing of a monster was destroyed by the school. The responses online are mixed and we find it surprising. How would you react if this was your child