Church of Lazlo Podcasts

SlimFast played Cheerleader football, and Lazlo was hoping to bang some Brazilian woman at Oak Park Mall. Buckeyes' are SHOCKING. Where are Lazlo and Slim's invitations to Travis and Taylor's wedding? Lazlo gets pissed at a high school baseball game. Why take a shower before the pool if everyone pisses in it? Stream The Church of Lazlo podcast on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts!

Why would Lazlo buy a kid if he could just make one? And when has a pastor done any wrong? The guys don't think they could take a drunk Dustin Poirier. Josh Vernier talks to the guys about Jac Caglianone and Bobby Witt. Lazlo argues with listeners about poll taxes. Stream The Church of Lazlo podcast on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts!

SlimFast's ‘ex' was a respectable dancer, not a whore. Do you think Bill Gates ever bought his (alleged) Russian prostitutes a tempo? Lazlo calls out SlimFast for taking the Whitney Houston high road. SlimFast thinks his grandpa is Clive Davis, and Lazlo addresses the Reddit comments head-on. Lazlo says Summer looks miserable to date, and it does not go over well. Stream The Church of Lazlo podcast on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts!

Lazlo feels a little naked without his wallet. The guys haven't talked about Nancy Guthrie OR Baby Lisa in a long time. Don't grab your phone when it falls in the poo poo pee pee hole. Who CARES that Crumbl has a lot of sugar? Lazlo and SlimFast peer pressure Summer to take a shot. Young men, go drink Kentucky bourbon and get laid. Millennials, post more. Stream The Church of Lazlo podcast on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts!

Has Lazlo done his annual backflip yet? The reflecting pool drama is so dumb, and Lazlo swears he will not participate in Teslas, Paramount, or UFC. Poodles either hump someone, or are on their way to hump something. Happy Father's Day to those who choose not to be fathers! Lazlo and SlimFast talk about their dicks, and they also spend a weird amount of time talking about their pubes. Stream The Church of Lazlo podcast on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts!

Lazlo and Summer finally have air conditioning, and the guys are slowly getting used to the idea of Snap Specs. Kansas City is in the nation's news. Without social media, kids are probably just going to play Kick the Can. The guys debate the Iran peace deal, and talk to Josh Vernier on what the Royals rotation may look like in 2027. A teacher got caught having sex in the back of a car with a student; SlimFast is more shocked that she was a football coach. Stream The Church of Lazlo podcast on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts!

Lazlo got freaky with SlimFast's wife. Is debtors' prison real? Lazlo immediately knows his groceries are going to be messed up if the delivery guy's name is Steve. Our boss asked SlimFast to dial back the drunks. Would you pay fifty bucks for a Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles pizza? Lazlo's seeing someone and wants to get a no-eared dog named Bombpop. SlimFast thinks he can undercut the local poop squad. China has a robot toilet that comes to you. Where's the robot that blows you? Stream The Church of Lazlo podcast on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts!

Where is our beloved sex toy, Mother?! Lazlo and SlimFast agree on one thing: America was founded on winners and losers, not ties. Snooki remains Lazlo's favorite little meatball, while SlimFast pitches the next hit reality show: White Trash Love Island. SlimFast shows Lazlo his AI porn, and the guys really enjoy targeted advertising. Stream The Church of Lazlo podcast on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts!

Lazlo thought Trump's UFC event was great, and he went on the Schlitterbahn ride 3 days before the tragic incident. SlimFast is geeked over by the people who got rich off of Space X. Lazlo and SlimFast argue over the existence of trillionaires, and want to emphasize: Do NOT bungee jump or get in a helicopter in Brazil. Stream The Church of Lazlo podcast on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts!

Lazlo's tinnitus is acting up: Or is it the non-stop fire alarm? Lazlo is absolutely devastated about the Home Improvement reboot being held up. Trump Mobile is about to be released, and SlimFast is scared of the kids riding E-Bikes in Walmart. What soccer teams line up with college football? SlimFast was a little too into Glenn Close. Stream The Church of Lazlo podcast on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts!

Lazlo pooped his pants when he was a professor, and Booger Eater helped sell glow sticks at Downtown Days. Bring back the Jim Rose Circus. What's so wrong about being a feeder content-house? SlimFast is anti breast feeding; He wants his baby to get used to processed food early on. Lazlo is actually banned from Canada, and has some strong opinions regarding Brendan Sorsby. Stream The Church of Lazlo podcast on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts!

SlimFast got a new pair of pants after Lazlo lost ANOTHER big sports bet. Trump got booed at the Knicks game, and Slim's mom HATED him listening to Michael Jackson growing up. Lazlo is concerned Apple might take away his ability to get porn and drugs online, while the guys send their thoughts and prayers to the screw-worm scientists. Plus, homeless poop is very different from soccer mom poop, and SlimFast's house is sinking into a depression. Stream The Church of Lazlo podcast on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts!

Kansas City, we do NOT have the second largest urban park. Everyone's punching out of their weight class, and it was a pretty violent weekend for the metro. Lazlo and SlimFast have their first Divorce Monday with Slims' lawyer brother, Joshua Mathews. God punished Slim for jacking it, and Lazlo's Dad discovered his poop porn. Would you pay to go see the AI Ozzy performance? Stream The Church of Lazlo podcast on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts!

SlimFast and Summer love to gossip, and Lazlo doesn't have the best reputation with his exes. There's ANOTHER kindergarten brawl. GoFundMe's for old people is just sad, and it's hard to date someone with kids when you don't have any. The lady with the leaky balloon knot is back in the news. Lazlo places his sports bets for tonight's Knicks game. Stream The Church of Lazlo podcast on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts!

That French son-of-a-bitch made Lazlo's asshole bleed. Should Bonnie Blu have a golden shower at her baby shower? SlimFast is definitely NOT on the sex offenders list. The guys talk with Vern about where the Royals stand. Are Lazlo and Slim actually happy? Stream The Church of Lazlo podcast on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts!

HUGE update with the banned youth baseball coach. Women are taking over the world, so Lazlo and SlimFast are scared. Trump wants a dollar with his face on it, and the guys HATE camping. There's a ton of drama over at 60 Minutes. There's a fine line when you decide to yell at your boss. Kids are turning their backs on goldfish, and Slim realizes he was the second poorest kid in his school. Stream The Church of Lazlo podcast on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts!

Lazlo went to marriage counseling, and fantasizes about watching Rob Stewart with SlimFasts' mom. Sabrina Carpenter is getting stalked. SlimFast has a LOT riding on these sports bets. If it's bright red you're good; But if it's dark red, eat beets. Trump apparently cussed out Netanyahu. Lazlos is trying to get a dog that doesn't piss itself whenever it thunders, and SlimFast is worried that he'll come across as a pedophile. Stream The Church of Lazlo podcast on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts!

Aw, Lazlo and SlimFast have their matching gay shirts on today! Was Tom Hardy booted from MobLand? SlimFast is here for Stedman, not Oprah. Pre-9/11, you could get a hotdog without getting jumped. Throwing a 70 mph speedball into the opposing teams dugout isn't the answer, coach. New polymarket bet! SlimFast predicted Nancy Guthrie will be found in September. Stream The Church of Lazlo podcast on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts!

Is our boss listening to us right now…? A cougar is basically a predator. Lazlo doesn't think Jaxon Dart made the right move. Throwing a Nazi salute to make a point? Probably not the best strategy. Is stolen valor really that serious? Plus, Lazlo and SlimFast debate whether Patrick Mahomes should sit out the first couple games to protect that ACL. Stream The Church of Lazlo on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts!

Chris Hansen is BACK! Where's the best hamburger? Lazlo tries to get SlimFast in on his vending machine business. A woman with no hand was ticketed for using a phone while driving, and Kansas City placed dead last in cities ready for the big soccer tournament coming up. Lazlo' s a big porn advocate. Pastors have two words of advice: Find God, and lose at least 20 to 30 lbs. Stream The Church of Lazlo podcast on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts!

Dorm life sucks, and Lazlo basically lives with two roommates. Lazlo thinks Will Levis should just own it. Lazlos is going to choose to NOT get into the kindergarten brawl. Would you pay a million to go see Trumps' UFC fight? Lazlo and SlimFast debate becoming celebrity assistants. Stream The Church of Lazlo podcast on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts!

Who the hell is Marilu Henner? And has Lazlo completely given up on the Kansas City Royals? Lazlo and SlimFast have plenty of questions about Mackenzie Shirilla's case. People getting worked up over the Hooters uniforms is just weird, and don't go outside unless you want Lyme Disease. Stream The Church of Lazlo podcast on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts!

Lazlo was kicked out of radio class, and the biggest road block to success is debt. Jim Teriyaki, the guy who paid kids to beat him up, was actually a predator. Summer' s a furry, and you don't ACTUALLY know a hitman. Clint Eastwood is NOT dead. Manhole is a GREAT gay-bar name. Lazlo has a Pickle Rick throw pillow, and Rashee Rice shouldn't have pushed the limits. Stream The Church of Lazlo podcast on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts!

Happy Graduation! Little Frankie flew away in the storm. RIP Mark Fuhrman. Would you be a peeping tom in your freeze time? A manager has two jobs; Count the cash, and make sure no teen poops in the fryer. Lyfts' are MUCH worse than Ubers. SlimFast accuses Lazlo of paying for someone's abortion. Stream The Church of Lazlo podcast on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts!

Follow the running back, Dave. Lazlo and SlimFast are gonna start a little league baseball team. Everyone's boo-ing AI, and you should NOT watch the new Peacock AI documentary if you're high. Lazlo doesn't think he could win against Rhonda Rousey, someone left a note on Summers' car, and RIP Shlitz Beer. Red Button or Blue Button? Stream The Church of Lazlo podcast on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts!

Lazlo's son and SlimFasts' wife got heckled, and the NFL schedule releases were.. interesting. Don't suggest head if you're not willing to do the same thing. A husband turned in his wife for sleeping with a student, and a student going to prom showed up in a helicopter. There's nothing like getting swept by the White Sox! SlimFat doesn't know what arugula is, and the most depressing thing about an estate sale is the bathroom. Stream The Church of Lazlo podcast on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts!

Lazlo is angry this morning. Men, AND WOMEN, please stop wearing sandals. SlimFast has a big, fat crush on Kouri Richins, and Josh Vernier agrees that Witt is killing it in the Royals. Hot or rich? Shawnee Mission High Schools are pushing back against the Department of Education. Did we get solid proof that Bigfoot is real? Stream The Church of Lazlo podcast on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts!

Lazlo is NOT a fan of the sourdough Chiefs schedule release. RIP Brandon Clark; Maybe don't accuse a guy of trafficking kratom. Eminem's ex-wife is looking a little… rough. PLEASE make sure your dating app picture is updated. The guys place their sports bets, and SlimFast is apparently the new star of The Bear. Stream The Church of Lazlo podcast on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts!

Lazlo and SlimFast are sick, golf is impossible, and a guy exploded in an airplane engine. Lazlo tiptoes around hantavirus talk after his controversial COVID takes. SlimFasts' TERRIFIED of teenagers, and Lazlo would just set them on fire. The Church of Lazlo is open to promote propaganda! And let the people own an airline! Stream The Church of Lazlo podcast on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts!

Lazlo and SlimFast sit down with Nate Bukaty to talk about his journey through radio and the path that led him to Apple TV. Bukaty gets the guys excited for soccer, talks about Kansas City history, and gives a look into his writing process for his book Perfect Pitch. You see him for his book signing at Rainy Day Books on Thursday, May 28th.

SlimFast has what fibromyalgia probably feels like, and Lazlo is upset about an Olathe Schools policy. Is hantavirus going to be the new Covid? Prison would be better than the high school boys locker room. Porn has influenced the guys a LOT, and Lazlos' son tried standup for the first time. Stream The Church of Lazlo podcast on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts.

Dianna Russini is a HOT name, and Lazlos' raging over school paperwork. Where are all the forks? And don't risk your life over sprite. Have you ever been dry humped? Karens are BACK! Lazlo and SlimFast talk to Royals Insider Josh Vernier about the recent Royals games and player injuries. If you donate your body to science, be aware that they'll probably be blown up in a La-Z-Boy. Stream The Church of Lazlo podcast on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts.

Unless Tech N9ne is opening, Chacho is not interested in the big concert coming up. Lazlo is SHOCKED at Summers' lack of direction. A Mom kicked a kid at a youth football game, and the FedEx Killer got the death penalty. Would you make your mom sit in the backseat for your mom? Lazlo has aspirations to be a pimp, and Kansas City is now the worst performing city when it comes to the World Cup. RIP Ted Turner. Stream The Church of Lazlo podcast on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts.

Someone not hearing you might be the ultimate defense. The GameStop CEO sounds exactly like you'd expect a GameStop CEO to sound. SlimFast doesn't own any luxury brands, and the guys think a travel vlogger is a massive baby. Ever passed a kidney stone? Slim's already planning Lazlo's son's grad party. How many Catholic priests are actually pedophiles? And Britney Spears has pleaded guilty. Lazlo also responds to Reddit about artists pulling back from concerts. Stream The Church of Lazlo podcast on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts.

Lazlo would OWN high school sports (if he was on the girls team), and cannot deal with SlimFasts small talk today. There are so many horse girls. Amazon is the new Temu. SlimFasts' grandma was a WHORE, and the Church of Scientology wrote Lazlo a personal note. A 50 Day Bender is not very impressive. Stream The Church of Lazlo podcast on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts!

SlimFast sits down with his lawyer-brother-dad, Joshua Mathews, to talk about his journey into law, break down common misconceptions surrounding high-profile trials, and dive into the realities of divorce. You can find him at www.mathewsgrouponline.com. To send in questions to ask Joshua during Mondays' show, message @ChurchofLazlo on Instagram.

Drugs are making Lazlo forgetful, and he is VERY uncomfortable when comedians bomb. Lazlo's son can no longer eat cream cheese because of Epstein. Lazlo' s pretty content with the white-thing he has going. Katy Perry is in hot water AGAIN! Lazlo would like a penis show from SlimFast. Stream The Church of Lazlo podcast on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts!

Lazlo put SlimFasts' puppy in a trashcan. A woman unleashed a bunch of bees to avoid eviction. Mike Vrabels' ‘emergency meeting' with his wife sounds like hell, and the new details about D4vds' arrest is crazy. The guys talk Royals with Josh Vernier. There's an alleged weed monopoly in Missouri, and you should ALWAYS watch the first episode of a show before jacking off. Stream The Church of Lazlo podcast on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts!

Please excuse Lazlo while he takes his morning drugs. What's something you learned too late? James Comey is indicted, and the guys go on a rant about the royal family. President Lincoln was throwing around a major penis. We've all dated someone who we thought would stab us. Lazlo knew it was over when he had to get rolled oats. Stream The Church of Lazlo podcast on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts!

Lazlo and SlimFast debate…clocks? Feral kids are probably not too happy. SlimFast pooped in a purse to feel loved, and the guys brainstormed how to get away with killing someone. Lazlo gives 60 second advice. Stream The Church of Lazlo podcast on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts!

Can people even hear us? The guys talk about the White House Correspondents' Dinner. Not being able to move sucks, and not being able to dodge a foul ball sucks even more. What happens when Lazlo takes too long on a smoke break? A Louisianan restaurant is (allegedly) cooking roadkill. Lazlo and SlimFast have no interest in seeing the Michael Jackson biopic. Don't go to jail in Japan. Stream The Church of Lazlo podcast on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts!

Lazlo and SlimFast talk to Kansas City's Ghost Hunter, Marie Jackson. Marie tells the guys about what led her to Ghost Hunting, and what really happened with their paranormal experiences. Her full story is in the book, Ten Feet Under. You can explore her investigations at https://ghostlinkproductions.com/, watch Ghost Link TV on YouTube, and find more content on Instagram @spiritual_gatekeeper