The Nat Chat

tw: homophobia, impacts on mental health, and leaving religious spaces. to be transparent, i went back and forth about uploading this. i ultimately decided that both uploading and not uploading are very hard things & i might as well do the hard thing that is real and authentic and full of love and passion :)this is part of my story, growing up in a homophobic church as a closeted queer person. i discuss why 'almost affirming' theology is so dangerous, why being a secret ally behind closed doors isn't possible, & explain why it is not your obligation to be the change in these situations when it is causing you harm. if you want to help protect queer youth, sometimes the best act of resistance is leaving and holding the door open for others to follow- we don't have to time to slowly wait for inclusivity. queer kids don't deserve to be tolerated, they deserved to be celebrated! by staying, we are both the oppressed and the oppressors- our liberation is tied up in self compassion.i also read a lengthy and beautiful poem i wrote entitled "the garden grown from my tears" which is about the complex grief and joy found throughout leaving religion, and the haunting memories of listening to harmful remarks from the lips of people you love, back when they didn't know they were talking about you. it's an divine and earthly spin on the concept of growing pains and in my (clearly very objective) opinion, it's quite clever!if this episode begins to act as a trigger rather than a space to be held in community, sit this one out. https://www.thetrevorproject.org/resources/

In addition to the interview with Chelsea MacAdam, we also got the privilege of talking to Rev. Boone. In this episode, she explains how she created Oaks village‒ a community that provides a hand up, not a hand out. To get involved at Oaks Village, or to utilize their services, visit their website: https://www.oaksvillage.net/ Here is the link to their Donation Wish List: https://www.amazon.com/hz/wishlist/ls/1LDQXRRXP43O3?ref=cm_sw_em_r_un_un_lOHv9JbX3CwsX&fbclid=PAAaZAfIHB5SIjK15Qc6pu0yHQaUsgXarHEQblPdmW-B28K3TT0Ca4iVzbLiE

Today I had the joy of interviewing my good friend Chelsea MacAdam about homelessness! Chelsea is the Community Outreach Director for Oaks Village. Oaks is a nonprofit in Monroe, Michigan that works to “rebuild our community, restore families and repurpose individuals.” On any given night, there are 190 homeless people on the streets of Monroe county. The team at Oaks works to feed, house, provide medical care, connect resources with, & simply love the people of Monroe!November is Homeless Awareness month in Michigan! We discuss several key points, including ways to support your community, the barriers people face while accessing social services, and removing the stigma surrounding seeking support. We dive into things well-intended people do that are not actually very helpful, along with how to be mindful of the accessibility of nonprofits you're donating to! Most importantly, we talk about honoring the holiness of people experiencing homelessness & how building relationships with others drives us to want more for all of our neighbors. This work is imperative, especially as the weather gets colder. May our increased awareness lead to increased advocacy!To get involved at Oaks Village, or to utilize their services, visit their website: https://www.oaksvillage.net/ Here is the link to their Donation Wish List: https://www.amazon.com/hz/wishlist/ls/1LDQXRRXP43O3?ref=cm_sw_em_r_un_un_lOHv9JbX3CwsX&fbclid=PAAaZAfIHB5SIjK15Qc6pu0yHQaUsgXarHEQblPdmW-B28K3TT0Ca4iVzbLiE

Today we're talking about how telling our stories is one of the most powerful forms of resistance! It can help everyday people understand smaller manifestations of the impacts that macro systems and power structures have on our everyday lives! Unapologetic storytelling also helps to ease shame & victim blaming- even stopping cycles of secret keeping and abuse. When those in power effectively frame the personal as political, it creates stigma that stops people from sharing their experiences. It's also connected to holding accountability in the workplace via salary transparency. Secret keeping is a tool that upholds those in power.Growing up, it was always drilled into me: do not gossip! As I've personally gotten older, I've come to realize that much of what I once condemned as ‘gossip' was actually just true stories that held people and the church accountable for their actions. Condemning gossip and erasing oral history is a tool that is often weaponized against marginalized communities. My favorite books are those which act as public forums!Let's apply these concepts to some recent local Michigan news stories! We're going to talk about a U.P. school banning pride flags only half an hour south of Marquette! Also a library downstate that was defunded for having queer books! By reading banned books and listening to stories, we can give hope to a more honest future. While you don't owe your story to anyone- it's important to know that your story is valid and important. It's also important to affirm those that come to you with their stories. Imagine a more shameless and connected world! That's a world of resistance. https://www.miningjournal.net/news/front-page-news/2022/10/gwinn-school-board-stands-firm-on-pride-flag-removal/#:~:text=In%20a%20Tuesday%20telephone%20interview,school%20policy%2C%20are%20not%20allowed. https://www.cbsnews.com/news/book-ban-lgbtq-jamestown-michigan-library/

As a collective, if one person is hurting‒ we all are. This conversation is especially connected to the men's mental health crisis. Men are less likely to reach out for support, and more likely to cope in violent ways. If I want to help undo patriarchy, I also have an ethical obligation to help men who are also harmed by the effects of such (lack of vulnerability in friendships, fear of being seen as soft and girly, stigma and inaccessibility of therapy, etc). This means that when men are being harmed by patriarchy, the manifestations doubly fall onto women.I constantly find myself acting as a punching bag for random men to trauma dump on. I'll mind my business while sitting in public spaces, and guys will come up to me and explain sticky situations they're going through. While I am happy to help, how can I fight patriarchy while my unpaid emotional labor is taken advantage of? Is this not exploitative and lacking boundaries, only further replicating the same systemic harm many of us self-proclaimed feminists are working to undo? Furthermore, these same gendered dynamics are ever present in sexual relations: men are expected to have their foot on the gas until women press the brakes. But what would it look like if instead, there was explicit permission before the car leaves the garage? By implementing a model of non-sexual consent, I am able to use my discretion to provide emotional support (venting space) when I'm available. Implementing this “ask first” model of facilitation can also be applied to sex‒ creating a second-nature communicatory theory that doubles as a buffer to sexual violence. This cultural shift is to act strictly as a supplement for conversational purposes until we collectively demand drastic systematic change of America's mental healthcare system.The issue is not that I cannot provide support, but rather the ethical principle that there is often no permission asked from the other party. There is a way to provide support, while also encouraging respectful and equitable exchanges that don't leave me drained. Fighting patriarchy doesn't mean providing unlimited emotional access, it means creating a sustainable culture of consent in all aspects of life!

today we have my mom on the platform to co-host!!! we're talking about her dating life back in the day, specifically her first date with my dad! it's a perfect example of what not to do when meeting someone for the first time! plus we're quite the comedic duo (at least we think so) ;)we follow up with some dating safety tips to keep you safe while meeting up with someone for the first time! ghosting back in the day, giving out your number before cellphones, and not having access to look up your classmates on the online class registry list!for more safety tips visit: https://www.rainn.org/articles/online-dating-and-dating-app-safety-tips

been binge watching the show ‘alone' recently! essentially, there are ten people dropped off in the wilderness (isolated from one another) & whoever lasts the longest wins. really, other than starvation & the elements- their biggest competition is the mental impact from isolation. people would drop out, not because they couldn't survive- but because they didn't want to survive without the people they care about.the negative view of seeing our relationships as constraints rather to liberation! and why hyper independent people tend to get into codependent relationships! finding a healthy medium in community where we are both “held and free” (glennon doyle quote) :)essentially, it's brave to ask for help. it's brave to reach out! & just because you can do it on your own- doesn't mean you should. it's brave…. to NOT pull yourself up by your own bootstraps! (haha get the doc marten reference??)

understanding that the reason others cannot accept me for who i am, is really just because they cannot accept themselves either. for instance, when i feel super judged by people- i have come to a place where i hope that they can live authentically too, rather than judging back.how empathy can help us deal with hurtful comments & shield us from taking things personally. softness & having emotional intelligence is secretly the toughest skin out there. it's saying that you cannot hurt me because i love the softness in me that the world taught you to hate. and i can teach you the discipline to do the same! explaining behavior, not justifying it or making excuses.using our arms to restrain with a hug rather than firing a shot, even when they deserve it (note how i said restrain rather than enable)! stopping violence at all levels through accountability via emotional connection. explaining that “when you did this, it hurt me” is far more powerful than hurting back. & how this peace should be displayed, not just through the way we handle our interpersonal conflicts, but also through our attitudes advocating against gun violence. it is important to start inwards (self reflection) with our anti-violence work, and then use this change to advocate outwards. otherwise we miss a crucial step towards unification, and walking the talk!ending gun violence, through embracing our soft skin- rather than our shields.

i was walking through the grocery store and stopped because i noticed some garlic cloves sprouting through their plastic packaging! it stopped me in my tracks to think about it for a second! really, nature heals through all of our self imposed plastic pollution- and can help us clean up our hearts!how creating a connection with the earth has taught me to selflessly embrace myself throughout all of my seasons and changes, & how when i'm on the trails- i'm the least lonely when i'm alone! how learning about the life cycle has helped me to process whatever i'm going through!for instance- when i start to self isolate, or when i don't feel like my work is paying off, or when i feel trapped in a small town- i see myself and my problems, symbolized & already worked out in the trees in front of me. i see my arms in tree limbs and my story being sung by the birds. I've come to a place of personifying animal relationships to solve and explain my own issues. the forest is a place (but really, a being) that understands me!an open discussion on what started out as me picking up a hobby of hiking, & how it morphed into a living relationship that has made me completely rethink the ethics surrounding land ownership. honoring indigenous peoples and recognizing that the earth doesn't need us- we need it. why all people- including christians, (many of whom have historically voted in ways that are detrimental to the planet), should honor creation and advocate for its protection. as even 7 day creationists agree that this beautiful & divine place has been here before us!feeling frustrated? maybe go sit under a tree and eat some fruit- it's there that i always find the wisdom to put up with humanity lol

in high school, i first stopped shaving my armpits because it made my family uncomfortable (& bc i adore hippies). what truthfully started out as me rebelling and being stubborn to irritate my mom, morphed into something that became very gender affirming for me as i got older. the teasing regarding my body hair didn't bother me when i did it to prove a point- it wasn't until i began feeling uncomfortable in my body when i shaved that it felt like an identity attack rather than a silly feminist ideology that was separate from my existence. it was then that i realized how radical it was to exist pleasurably in our natural bodies!we can blame capitalism, patriarchy, white supremacy, lots of big systems- but we can also grab the roots of these issues (haha pun intended) by dissecting how their impact manifests in our bodily presentations. reimagining a system of justice that teaches people who are shaming, to live unashamedly in their bodies. this alternative justice heals wounds and focuses on rehabilitation rather than punishment and throwing stones back in a cycle of harm. my hope is that we find liberation through the simple things (like existing with body hair)! and from this, we become empowered enough to exist unapologetically (therefore showing others that it's okay to do the same) & from this connection- together we'll all show up for the big things like standing up for the marginalized. ironically enough, existing with body hair turned me into someone who deeply cares about social justice- people are not political, they're people existing!

i've noticed that sometimes when i'm experiencing the most loving and joyful moments of my life, i get these feelings of deep mourning even though nothing is wrong. while listening to the podcast, "we can do hard things" by Glennon Doyle, i learned that this feeling is actually grief! it's being reminded about people that have passed and joys that used to exist when good things are happening that i would've loved to share with them. through the complexity of emotions, and understanding that my rainbows are hidden within a stormcloud- i have come to the conclusion that unconditional grief, is simply unconditional love. why being vulnerable and letting ourselves feel grief within our joy without judgement, really does work to heal the entire world. love never ends, sometimes it just looks like a tear on my cheek rather than a smile on my lips.

it seems like everytime i go on my phone, there's another horrible event going on. learning to draw boundaries to care deeply but also not get burnt out in the pursuit of social justice. specifically some things that are bringing me escapism and joy atm! room tour, minions 2 shenanigans, pulled pork tacos, muna's new album, sneakily wearing funky mushroom socks in corporate america??along with listening to the wisdom of my body and embracing my emotions! letting my tears put out the raging fire within me before i burn myself out (teaser of my poetry project)!

i''m back from vacation & roe v wade got overturned! as a former conservative pro-lifer, let's talk about white evangelicals and their un-Christlike actions that disproportionately harm minorities and those with access to less resources. how it is so extremely clear that most evangelical churches are not safe places for people with uteruses- and how this is showing through with politics (let's get to the grassroots of the problem). jesus doesn't celebrate with people who are actively oppressing others, he picked a side. why advocating for the unborn is convenient because it feeds your savior complex but does not make you question your privilege, and why it is okay to unfriend people because of "politics."why voting is not enough seeing as of how many supreme court justices have been appointed by presidents who have lost the popular vote (pride started as a riot) & how the pro life movement capitalizes on young people by adopting slight versions of liberal feminism rather than true intersectionality. why advocate for a fetus but not social programs to improve life?ended the episode reading some supreme court memes! let our laughter turn into our movement, and our movement into our liberation and healing. we do not have to reinvent the wheel, we have to listen to the words of black feminists- they have so much to teach us about resilience.https://abortionfunds.org/

"it's not my dream dad, it's yours"- okay troy bolton, let's talk about how sometimes parents put their unachieved dreams on their kids! it's okay to want a simple life, even if people have constantly told you to be a doctor or a lawyer! you're not wasting potential by craving a cozy life, rather than striving to constantly achieve.deconstructing classist ideologies that base people's value on their careers. let me affirm you: nothing will make me prouder than if you live into what your heart craves (not your parent's expectations or anyone else's)! p.s. my parents are v proud of me- the title just made sense :)

tips to pay for college that aren't talked about enough, discussing the privilege it is to be able to afford to build your resume with volunteer and internship work, random things you'll forget to pack, how to meet people, and roommate tips !! finished off this episode introducing the idea of a cleansing shower ritual to help us release all of the negativity and grime we've been holding onto- healing ourselves heals the world! especially for those of us absolutely festering in our small towns over the summer ;)

handling gendered microaggressions from middle aged white men & how it feels like i've regressed back in time by moving out of a college town. i don't have the answers to overthrowing all of these gross power structures that give people the audacity (lol), but i do know that we've got each other. and i do know that the sun will rise and we will try again tomorrow! constant snide comments add up, anger is valid! when to explain that these things are not okay to say, and when to throw in the towel to protect your own peace and safety!

hating on hustle culture and how my ideal life is that of a retired grandma who values rest and is sustainable- in a frugal way rather than a privileged way. the joys of homecooked meals and handmade crafts and reading! debunking the idea that my generation is lazy and recognizing that we're actually just tired of being exploited when we've watched where that's gotten the generations before us!my weekend in miluakee to go to the phoebe bridgers concert and my intense feelings as though i can't find complete belonging, and how this leads me to writing and creating :)conversing with christian protesters at pride and picking their brains in a respectful way that will hopefully help them to find love rather than picketing against it. fight for the things you care about, but do it in a way that will lead others to join you. so proud of myself for how much i've grown into self control rather than anger when presented with these situations!

Returning to honor yourself before you were told that you were bad. Stories of some of the roots of my insecurities and how embracing myself without judgment allows me to do the same for others! You don't need to criticize yourself in discipline, but rather one of the most beautiful forms of discipline is practicing radical love towards yourself, shining through the temptation to hate. Yoga and reducing our ego!Reclaiming the story of the garden of Eden- separation from the divine is seen as separation from existing openly. When did you realize you were naked? Viewing the divine as a love that asks questions because they want you to exist openly, rather than an angry man who will kick you out of a garden. Separation from the divine is separation from being ourselves shamelessly. A full circle moment of leaving shame by reclaiming the same words that taught me to be ashamed.You are good, your body is good, and you deserve people and places surrounding you that make you feel unashamed to exist fully

when i became consistent with my yoga and meditation practices, i started lucid dreaming all the time! that's when you're aware that you're dreaming and can even sometimes control what happens! here are stories from some of my recent lucid dreams

my story of moving out of girlboss feminism and into an embodied state of being that doesn't idolize productivity and views being successful as just simply being a lover (people and planet)! after protesting, laughing in joy at the good that is left and feeling at home in your body is one of the most rebellious things you can do in such a screwed up world. Recorded in the woods so you get to listen to the birds singing to you :)

romanticizing the boring parts of our days! along with some tips and tricks to thrift like a pro! lizard time, zip off pants, and iced oat milk chai lattes, oh my!

breaking down imposter syndrome into recognizing that is a symptom of how we are treated by society rather than solely a confidence issue (ahem sexism). moving out of feeling like a fraud and recognizing that we are qualified and capable and worthy of the good things that happen to us! recognizing that we didn't become who we are, or achieve what we've achieved, by accident. we had to work hard- and because of that we get to accept the opportunities that roll our way confidently!!

chatting about transitioning back home! & sharing parts of my summer success plan to help keep me vibin' over the summer (especially helpful if you feel like you've outgrown your hometown & you're stuck there for a couple months)! along with a reminder that your timing is not too late- there's no need to meet life's made up deadlines

two rather unfortunate (but pretty funny) events that happened to me! along with a convo about the 5 love languages, and how we can love better in our friendships and relationships (and ourselves)! plus unique ways that people show me love that i absolutely adore! :)

my anxiety pretty much only presents itself as physical symptoms these days! here are some life updates and my favorite ways to ground myself & feel safe and connected in my body to help bridge the gap between what i'm thinking (calm) and what my body is feeling (stress)!

making a better relationship with social media & how helpful body neutrality has been for me :-)

a story of a yoga workshop i went to over the weekend! along with some coping strategies i use for when my mental health isn't too hot. the big focus today is stopping the second arrow of suffering and eliminating shame. who cares how we got here, what matters now is that we are open to change and the steps we take forward. meeting ourselves where we are with compassion! i'm just your guide here, you know what's best for you and what tips to take and leave :)https://www.apa.org/topics/crisis-hotlines

let's talk about my experience at queer prom and my adoration of co-ops!! a lil haul ;-) from there we dive into talking about having a hard time making close friends!! learning to take ownership of the power we possess in our friendships (and our relationship w/ our self) plus how i enjoy keeping the circle small and high quality! we talk about loneliness and how even while craving closer relationships, we should not settle for people that treat us as though we're too much or not enough. the grass isn't greener in big friend groups! ppl who are mean are often mean to themselves, and adults actually don't have this all figured out either lol

let's talk about fungi and how connected we are to the life cycle! stories of times that I've failed and from those shortcomings, new AND BETTER things have come! stay flexible and maybe things that flop will open your eyes to other things waiting for you :)

today we're chatting about the importance of setting boundaries behind our love so that we don't build resentment! along w/ building a culture of consent that respects being rejected!

giving yourself grace when you have a bad day and some simple tips to make your wardrobe more sustainable!

It's okay to not be cool! Removing the negativity surrounding being perceived as 'basic' and learning to be authentic. You are loved!

An embarrassing dining hall incident & things that have been filling me with joy recently!

Qualities that I look for in good friendships & just some general life things I wanted to point out! Healing our relationships with ourselves! You are loved!

this one really is a box of chocolates! get cozy :-)

A method of coping with anxiety and a guide to survive Thanksgiving dinner when you're the black sheep of the family!

a funny hiking story, setting boundaries, learning that "bad" emotions are really just signs that your body loves you! to heck with capitalism, do what sets your soul on fire!

moving to college! talking about change & my experiences the first week!

I made it out of high school! A life update & a lesson on returning to who you wanted to be as a child. How I switched career choices from travel nursing to wanting to become a Civil Rights Attorney! Some content may be triggering if you struggle with depression and/or anxiety, but it also gives an explanation as to why I've been MIA & hopefully makes you feel less alone if you're in high school and struggling. This episode is all over the place & I hope you feel like you're on facetime with me :-)

How the way I love has changed since Valentine's Day last year. The self doubt of "Am I a good person?" because the ways I want to show love and advocacy always seem to be frowned upon. Changing the way you love does not make you less loving! True love requires accountability! P.S. I accidentally said 'inhibits' and meant to say 'uninhibits' at one point haha oops!

Letting go of old friendships and relationships without diminishing the value they once held & the idea of seasonal friendships and how these concepts are interconnected. Talks on the harms of the label "bff", and how time is the facade of the actual value in our friendships. Compares friends to parts of a tree. Applies the concept of Minimalism to letting go of relationships that we've outgrown. Discusses how even once we leave, our impact stays with other people. Temporary does not mean fake or unworthy- and how to stop putting lifetime expectations on seasonal and locational bonds.

The importance of dating yourself before dating other people! A series of questions you should ask yourself before getting into a relationship. The harms of the idolatry of marriage & seeing only fairytale love stories portrayed in the media. The validity to be happy single :) Don't wait to find someone, create the life you want for yourself! Build a solid foundation for your relationships to grow from!! SELF LOVE BBY!!

A conversation on the validity to coexist in both gratefulness and grief during Thanksgiving. Growing out of trauma without being thankful that it happened or giving it credit for personal growth. References 'Because of Winn-Dixie' and compares 2020 to Littmus Lozenges. Seeing the bad that sparked the good rather than obsessing over finding a silver lining.

Enjoy a list of ways to escape the stress of election week & some good reminders to spread love during these stressful times! Hope this episode brings you peace!

A spooky storytime to celebrate Halloween! After all, we could all use a bit of an escape from reality with the current climate of the world... and what better way to do just that than to talk about unsolved noises from when I was lurking around the church at night! It might not be as simple as it is upon first glance. Hope you enjoy! :D

Sit back, relax, and grab some tea (or whatever you're into), as you listen to me chat as I go through a list of life lessons I've learned through my journey with running!

Discussing the Biblical story of "The Woman at the Well" in an unconventional way! Learning about love not through Jesus's miracles, but through the cultural norms that made the miracle such a big deal! Religion aside, you are welcome to listen to this story & learn about reading into the culture of older literature!

A message about taking the power into your own hands by owning the parts of you that make you insecure, instead of letting them own you! Includes a brief story invloving sexual harassment. Participate in this week's challenge by posting a picture to instagram highlighting an old insecurity and turning it into a new strength! Use #thenatchat to help support this platform!

A super casual episode on what the podcast is all about and who I am! This one's all about setting us up for success in those important conversations down the line!