The Work-Life Equation

It seems like forever ago: working parents dropping the kids at child care and then heading to work. Today those same parents ARE child care — and they're still going to work, just in the home office. We asked about strategies, trial and error, and generally, how it's going. Here's what parents told us.

World events shake all of us — parents and children alike. So how do you answer when your child asks, “Are we going to be okay?” On this bonus episode, we feature an important discussion from our podcast, “Teach. Play. Love.” Bright Horizons early childhood education expert Rachel Robertson gives concrete advice on all of it — supporting your child through difficult times, giving calm, simple reassurances to tough questions, and using play time to help process and express feelings.

In 2014, the first Bright Horizons Modern Family Index surveyed mothers and fathers about working and parenting. They said it was hard. This year we asked again, and guess what? It's even harder. On this episode, Bright Horizons VP Jennifer Vena breaks down the key highlights and shares stories from working parents in the trenches — and the extremes parents are going to make work and family fit.

Four of our awesome Bright Horizons vice presidents talk very candidly about being working mothers and having high-powered careers. Listen again to this episode, as they reveal what's worked for them, what hasn't, and what they had to let go of to build the careers and the families they wanted.

What's your most recent parenting success story? We asked, and parents told us about theirs — the big and little wins that made them break out in happy dances. Plus, our resident editor of our parenting blog, The Family Room, gave us the lowdown on what parents talked about in the last 12 months, trends for 2020, and why this should be the year to show yourself more love for the great job you do every day.

Holiday stress is no joke. When it seems like everyone's in a perpetual rush to the next moment, how can you and your family just enjoy where you are? And what can you do to make the holidays more meaningful? We asked two of Bright Horizons' own early childhood experts, Debbie Hoppy and Melanie Brooks. Listen to this episode to find out how to press pause, be present, and focus on what feels right.

We all start with the idealized image of parenting. Then comes the first night of crying (yours and the baby's), and you wonder if you were cut out for this at all. On this episode, mother/daughter parenting pros Marti and Erin Erickson get real about new motherhood; the elation, the blues, being good to yourself, and why we all should be OK with asking for help (even from work) when we need it.

Dread making school lunches? You've got lots of company. A study (really!) says it's a parent's most dreaded task. Why no love for lunch? And what can we do to restore the love — and get your kids to eat what you pack? Listen as the Scramble's Jessica Braider talks strategies for lunches you (and your kids) will love.

Did you celebrate the return of the school bus, or did you dread it? We asked Christine Koh, one of our favorite guests, host of the award-winning podcast, “Edit Your Life.” Listen to this episode to get tried-and-true tips straight from the host and guest extraordinaire for the new school year, including how to delegate family tasks (hint: kids can help, too!), ways to avoid overload, and why it's ok to say “no” to volunteer gigs, guilt free. Just in time for September, we're revisiting our conversation and Christine's strategies for going back to school.

Nanny canceled on the day of a big meeting? Call in the reserves! That's the principal behind back-up care: click or call (even at the last minute) and a nanny will be sent right to your door. How does it work, and how do you get it? Tune in for our expert primer on the basics of back-up care, and how it can save your workday.

In child care, as in real estate, it's location, location, location. But is the right center for you near home or work? That's the question! If you need help deciding, this episode — featuring two Bright Horizons moms, one ace child care consultant, and a checklist of details to consider — is for you. You can also always get help with your child care search with our Bright Horizons Center Locator at https://www.brighthorizons.com/child-care-locator?utm_source=soundcloud&IMS_Source_Specify=soundcloudWleEp31

The pumping, the storage, the oddly personal conversations with co-workers...can nursing and working ever feel comfortable? Karen Rubin, work-life coach and consultant with Life Meets Work, answers questions from expectant moms on breastfeeding at work — including laws, accommodations, and why nursing means never having to say, “I'm sorry I have to go pump.”

Cheating...bribery...athletic scholarships for sports never played—how did admissions get so wacky? Fresh from her morning-show tour, Bright Horizons educational counseling vice president, and former admissions officer, Elizabeth Heaton stopped by to give us the lowdown on admissions, why we shouldn't worry, and the legal way to help your child land a great school (hint: no bribery required).

Not long ago, we talked to author and consultant Jodi Detjen about what it will take get women's careers out of the second-rate zone — and give men equal cred as parents. After our episode on the Motherhood Penalty, her advice seems more relevant than ever. Listen as we revisit what Jodi had to say about upending the status quo, and why it will take men, women, (and employers) to make it happen.

It's not your imagination — the Motherhood Penalty is real. Listen to real moms talk about real experiences. And get the not-so-surprising secret from Bright Horizons CHRO Maribeth Bearfield — that the very thing you feel might be holding you back (motherhood!) turns out to be your biggest asset.

Every podcast or webinar we do at Bright Horizons generates the same question: how does this work for single parents? So we asked. Join Helen and Christine, two working moms at Bright Horizons, as they talk single motherhood—what they've learned, what they wish they knew, and why parenting solo doesn't have to mean going at it alone.

Anyone who's done it will tell you—caring for an elder loved one is all-encompassing, especially when you're in the Sandwich Generation. Where do you go to find in-home help? How do you manage finances? What's the secret to having the tough conversations? Get expert answers to some of the most common caregiver questions.

On this episode of The Work-Life Equation: working parent, the sequel. You've had your first baby, you've got your whole work/parenting system down…and then number two comes along and changes everything. What do you need to know before the pitter-patter of a second pair of feet? Hear two-time working parents Erika, Evan, and Shira talk chaos, strategy…and why they wouldn't change a thing.

On this episode of The Work-Life Equation: VP Moms. What does it take to rise up the ladder with a family? Helen, Ilene, Christine, and Jessie — four of our awesome Bright Horizons vice presidents — talk very candidly about what's worked for them, what didn't, and what they had to let go of to build the career and the family they wanted.

On this episode of The Work-Life Equation: building the parenting village you need. The secret to successful working parenthood isn't doing more — it's getting more done. And the way to get more done, says our guest Daisy Dowling, is to be fearless about enlisting pinch-hitters. Get Daisy's tips for building your village, and for casting a wide enough net to get the help you need.

On this episode of The Work-Life Equation: the back-to-school shuffle! Are you ready for all that it entails: endless permission slips and school forms, book covers, parent-teacher meetings, homework, after-school schedules…and making lunch? Our guest, host of the Edit Your Life podcast Christine Koh, talks the mixed blessing of back-to-school season, and shares how you can manage the flood of obligations, along with practical tips for “editing your life” and “making room for awesome.”

On this episode of the Work-Life Equation: thinking about work-life “fit” — creating more time in your day to help you fit more of what you want into your life: family, work, or personal time. How? The secret, according to our guest, Morra Aarons-Mele, is in “place, pace, and space.” Listen as the host of the Forbes podcast “Hiding In the Bathroom” explains how she took charge of her own work-life equation…and how you can, too.

On this episode of the Work-Life Equation: mindfulness. You're knee-deep in work and family and feeling the chaos of everything that goes with it. What if you could stop in the moment and wrangle control of your inner turmoil before it eats you alive? Our guest Beth Jones says there's a name for that – it's called mindfulness. And she's got tips to take you from “agghhh” to “ahhh” in a few simple steps.

On this episode of the Work-Life Equation: twins! Can you be doubly blessed, and still have a career, and your sanity? Our guest says you can. Jessica Alpert Silber, mom of twins and creator of the WBUR children's podcast Circle Round, shares her best twin survival strategies, and why surviving two crying babies might just be the best thing for a working mom's career.

On this episode of the Work-Life Equation: Peaceful Parenting 101. We've all been there…the get-out-the-door chaos, the after-work frenzy, those toddler-parent moments when things just seem to go, “kaboom.” Is there a better way? Parenting expert and psychologist Jennifer Gillette says unequivocally…yes. She's got the tips, tricks, and strategies to tame the tantrums and put what she calls Peaceful Parenting back into your day.

On this episode of the Work-Life Equation: millennial dads. What does fatherhood look like in 2018? Our very candid panel of modern working dads told us about stepping up as parents, dance classes on football Sundays, sharing the load with mom, redefining self-care, and “embracing the poop” in a job that's harder – and more fun – than they ever imagined.

On this episode of the Work-Life Equation: the “mental load”—the constant need to think about the family's whereabouts. As a mom, you're likely more than just a parent; you're also the unofficial manager of everything your family is doing and when. Turns out, this is weighing many working women down. Here we present research from Bright Horizons showing the mental load is real, and offer tips on how to manage your own load...and maybe even lighten it up.

On this episode of the Work-Life Equation: how to navigate parental leave. From the pre-leave side of the equation, working plus parenting can seem impossible. But Karen Rubin, managing director of employee coaching company Talking Talent has coached many employees on successfully navigating this important time. Here she offers important steps, from how to make the announcement, through the busy months leading up to taking leave, and how to reclaim your career when you come back.

On this episode of the Work-Life Equation, learn why your health is good for the whole family. It's not always easy to take care of yourself when you're busy taking care of the family, but it's important for everyone. Wellness expert Christina Reale tells us some of the realistic ways working parents can fit in nutrition, sleep, and exercise into their lives and how to pave the way to everyday health and happiness.

On this episode of the Work-Life Equation, turn those parenting lemons into lemonade! It might not seem like it, but your child is more predictable than you think—and each stage of your child's development, along with every meltdown, is a gateway to skill-building for your little one. Hear from early childhood experts Ellen Galinsky, the Chief Science Officer at the Bezos Family Foundation and Executive Director at Mind in the Making, and Rachel Robertson, the Education and Development Vice President at Bright Horizons as they discuss common parenting challenges and the science behind parenting that can turn frustration into great skills for life. Working Moms and the Mental Load Show Notes 1:01 - Learn about the motivation behind the Bright Horizons study on mental load. The full study results from the 2017 Modern Family Index put numbers to the issue. 1:23 - Read “The Default Parent” blog post by M. Blazoned. 2:43 - Ilene answers the question, “What was the high-level snapshot you got from the study?” ● 86 percent of working mothers handle all family and household responsibilities ● 76 percent of breadwinning moms manage the household vs. 22 percent of breadwinning dads 5:09 - Ilene describes how mental load plays out in her own life. 6:20 - Lisa posits one theory about mental load that explains how dads have tangible responsibilities and very specific tasks, but moms often shoulder all mental responsibilities, including all the things that need to be remembered. 9:15 - Lisa asks, “How can working moms lighten the mental load?” 9:44 - When thinking how to lighten the mental load, Ilene suggests two reflection questions: 1. Am I looking to solve the imbalance between myself and my partner? 2. Do I really want to share this load? (Which also means giving up decision-making.) 12:06 - Mental load affects new moms coming back to work from leave, which Bright Horizons discussed in a recent parent webinar, Life as a New Working Parent. 13:30 - Ilene says the research also shows dads want to be more involved in children's lives, are more likely than moms to give up a raise for more family time, and more than ever interested in flexible working hours. Hear our conversation with today's dads in podcast episode 16, “Talking Fatherhood with Millennial Dads.” 15:51 - Lisa talks about how millennial dads often feel like trailblazers, like the New York Mets player Daniel Murphy, who was criticized for taking paternity leave. 18:05 - Lisa makes the point that letting go is OK for moms to do, citing an article by Anne-Marie Slaughter, “The Real Holiday Magic Comes Not From Micromanaging, but Letting Go.” 18:47 - Lisa asks, “Can moms change or are they stuck being tiger moms?” Tiger moms are often characterized as keeping tight controls over their children or families. 22:15 - Lisa celebrates that working moms (and dads) are role models for their children, preparing the next generation for equality in parenting, as discussed in a previous podcast episode, Celebrating Working Mothers. 22:37 - Ilene does not believe in work-life balance that puts work on one side of the scale and parenting on the other side. Listen to the Bright Horizons webinar, Integrating Work and Life, to hear more about this dynamic. 23:43 - Follow this link to read or download the full study or search Modern Family Index on the Bright Horizons website, www.brighthorizons.com.

On this episode of the Work-Life Equation, real working parents talk surviving the busy holiday season. From taming the “I wants” to surviving the “You need two dozen cupcakes…by when?!” and forgiving yourself for cranberry sauce from a can, Bright Horizons working moms Kate, Aili, Rachel, and Michelle share their real-life strategies for creating festive, satisfying holidays for their families…minus the guilt.

On this episode of the Work-Life Equation, we learn how to take back our countertops! Clutter seems to grow with children, moving steadily from bedrooms to playrooms until it creeps into every corner of your house. But it's not hopeless. Mary Lou Andre, founder of Organization by Design, Inc., and editor of Dressing Well Online, offers tips, tricks, and advice on how to control kid-related clutter…so it doesn't control you.

In this episode of the Work-Life Equation, we are celebrating the work of mothers and discussing why you should never feel guilty about a having career. Our guest, Pam Lenehan, is a director of three public companies and two non-profits, and author of My Mother, My Mentor, a book about how now-adult children thrived from having working mothers. Her research shows that the benefits of going to work every day go way beyond just bringing home a paycheck.

In this episode of the Work-Life Equation, we're revisiting a webinar from the archives all about getting organized and family routines.Our guests Ruth, Megan, and Mary, Bright Horizons parents just like you, reveal their day-in-life routines, from heading out in the morning, to winding down in the evening, and getting ready for the next day Pick up a few tips from these working moms to help you corral a chaotic daily grind.

In this episode of the Work-Life Equation, we're dispelling myths about working mothers and fathers and finding out how both can get the most from careers and families. Our guest Jodi Detjen, author of The Orange Line: Integrating Career, Family, and Life and professor at Suffolk University, shows how breaking out of gender stereotypes—and truly sharing the load—gives everyone more time and less stress.

In this episode of the Work-Life Equation, we revisit a webinar about new perspectives on old ideas on work-life balance. Our guest, Stew Friedman, Director of the Work/Life Integration Project at Wharton, discussed his book Leading the Life You Want: Skills for Integrating Work and Life, which guides working parents through an exploration of the most important areas of their lives and through strategies to harmonize those areas for meaningful work-life integration.

In this episode of the Work-Life Equation, we revisit a webinar about striking a balance between parenting, working, and the rest of your life. Drs. Marti and Erin Erickson, parenting experts and co-hosts of the Mom Enough podcast, tackle evergreen work-life issues, such as managing time, letting go, setting boundaries, and “good enough” parenting.

In this episode of the Work-Life Equation, we revisit a webinar about being a caregiver for your elderly parents from a distance—another city, state, or even country. Elder care expert Sharon Roth Maguire from BrightStar Care speaks to the pragmatic side of long distance caregiving, with actionable tips for managing everyday needs and responsibilities.

In this episode of the Work-Life Equation, we revisit a webinar about surviving the challenges of being in the Sandwich Generation, especially as a working parent. Elder care expert Noreen Guanci answers questions about organizing your family care plan, managing guilt, and balancing your time between work, parenting, and caregiving. Resources Mentioned ● Lotsa Helping Hands ● “Being Mortal” by Atul Gawande

In this episode of the Work-Life Equation, we revisit the parent webinar, Edit Your Life: Making Modern Family Life Work, featuring Christine Koh and Asha Dornfest, co-hosts of the Edit Your Life show, that covered the concept of “minimalist parenting.” Christine and Asha offered ideas for “editing your life” and making modern family life easier to manage.

In this episode of the Work-Life Equation, we talk to Sheila Murphy, co-founder of the professional staffing firm FlexProfessionals, LLC, about returning to work after parental leave or longer career breaks. Sheila provides guidance about the new realities of being a working parent for the first time and practical tips to help you feel confident about your return.