Too Hot to Handle, Too Cold to Hold

Texans Twilight Zone w/ guest Paul Gallant - NOV 2021

Comedian Colum Tyrrell of the Wizard of Pod explains why podcasting hasn't only sustained his stand-up career during a pandemic; it's made it possible for him to replace it. The pilot episode

If you want real, reliable advice, don't d*ck around by deciding you don't want your personal information exploited for entertainment purposes. You don't deserve our help and we hope you contract a curable form of cancer.

Rockets Fangirl Aria Rich of FGSN broke down the opening playoff series between the Houston Rockets and the Minnesota Timberwolves.

Dear ESPN NBA reporter Brian Windhorst, you are not Marc Stein. Sorry for calling you Marc Stein. Please accept my apology.

America: leading the way for motorized walkways, 70 ounce sodas and garbage food court pizza. A sixty-second promo for SB Nation Radio's Over The Night with Matt Harab.

America: leading the way for motorized walkways, 70 ounce sodas and garbage food court pizza. A sixty-second promo for SB Nation Radio's Over The Night with Matt Harab.

10.24.2018 If You Ain't First Your Last by Lil Jakespeare

04:09 - Astros Eliminated 14:39 - Fan Interference 15:49 - AJ Hinch Outmanaged 21:15 - Barrel Fire Shot Take (Raiders Fire Sale, Rockets Won't Win 50, Deshaun Watson Will Suffer Season Ending Injury in Jacksonville) 38:00 - Texans/Jags Preview 52:45 - Does Jesus Have Interns? 55:30 - More Upsetting (Threatening Fans Who Interfere or Telling Kids to Shut Up at Sporting Events/ALCS Cheating Scandals)

10.10.2018 IF YA AINT FIRST YOUR LAST by Lil Jakespeare

Our thoughts on the Texans first win of 2018. Did the Texans win or did the Colts lose? Coaching both the Texans and Colts in the same game is the Make A Wish Jackpot.

This is a special track because it is something I otherwise would have edited out of the episode. Celebrity look-alikes for Juggalo Trey. "Kavanaughed" is now a verb. We also make fun of Trey's mom.

This week, we ask a simple question: Would you rather have Bill O'Brien or Donald Trump for the next four years? Keke Coutee is a bust. Would you sacrifice Deshaun Watson's second ACL for another Astros World Series Championship? Soul-sucking breakdown of the Texans Week 3 loss to the Giants.

9.19.2018 If Ya Ain't First Your Last by Lil Jakespeare

We're back...again. It wouldn't be THTHTCTH unless we beat a dead horse, so we gave our two cents on Nike's deal with Kaepernick. *Featuring shocking, offensive tweets from REAL people* Pat Mahomes is off to an historic start to the season while Deshaun Watson struggles to find his form. We compare the two 2017 1st round QBs.

9.6.2018 IF You Ain't First Your Last by Lil Jakespeare

Our 30th episode! Back after like a two week sabbatical/paid administrative leave...we should be suspended for more than three weeks for this one. We catch you up on what we've been up to, new segment "Hard or Soft" is our version of True or False. We try making you laugh after another hard weekend for our country.

Note: The Xfinity Series will be racing at Mid-Ohio, not Michigan.

Episode 29: The State of Houston Sports by Lil Jakespeare

Domestic violence has become one of the most common themes in sports. Urban Meyer's reported knowledge and whether or not he did enough to address the Zach Smith allegations remain a mystery. But one thing's for sure... Shelley Meyer sure can keep a secret. Despite having a "zero tolerance" policy toward domestic violence, Jeff Luhnow and the Astros are willing to risk chemistry and fan support in pursuit of another World Series trophy. Judge Juggalo brings the hammer.

7.26.2018 If Ya Ain't first You're Last by Lil Jakespeare

Is Snapchat the best form of business correspondence? Todd Gurley reset the going rate for a franchise running back. Was he more deserving of a deal than Le'Veon Bell? How much of Pittsburgh's refusal to commit stems from Bell's suspension and holdout tendencies? Josh Gordon reportedly absent from Browns training camp to stay in front of his drug addiction. Can the Browns afford to take him at his word? NEW SEGMENT: JUDGE JUGGALO!

One of our grossest episodes to date. Worst part about getting your nose bit off your face? Losing "nose goes" for the rest of your life. Kawhi Leonard traded for Demar DeRozan. DeRozan may be best for Pop, but not for the future of the Spurs. Josh Hader tweeted some racist stuff seven years ago. What now?

Our very first promo! There's nothing hotter than a colostomy bag hot take.

Shady's pretty shitty, but he's not the first NFL star (allegedly) responsible for a beaten woman. With too many incidents to choose from, we highlight just a few of the NFL's deep roster of abusers. Papa John dropped the n-bomb on a conference call. Have you ever said something indefensibly racist when your intent was the exact opposite? Is Carmelo Anthony a good fit for the Houston Rockets? Is he a good fit anywhere?

07/10/2018 If Ya Ain't First Ya Last Episode 5 by Lil Jakespeare

We reintroduce ourselves to a non-existent live blogtalkradio audience. Is Nicole Richie dead? If she's not, maybe she should've died so she could be more famous. Boogie meant more to NOLA than LeBron did to Cleveland. We talk through our first ever commercial!

6.28.2018 If Ya Ain't First Ya Last episode four by Lil Jakespeare

Hall of Fame Pitcher and beef manufacturer Nolan Ryan stops by to share his thoughts on the Atlanta Braves experimenting with human meat as part of their ballpark fare. We tear apart the top 10 players in the NFL as voted by the players and share our favorite poop stories in honor of Archie Bradley shitting his pants.

It's Too Hot to Handle, Too Cold to Hold: The Bodies Issue. Did that corpse found in the freezer at SunTrust Park make you think of O.J. Simpson? Us too! We sat down with the former Hertz spokesman and DID NOT talk football. Juice's killer hands made us realize just how many unique body parts there were in sports. We decided to pay homage to a few of our favorites. LeBron vs. Harden: who's the real MVP? Paul George opted out, but does that mean he's going to LA? Can the Lakers afford to sit back and hope free agents find there way to Hollywood eventually? What could've been in OKC with three league MVPs.

6.21.2018 If Ya' Aint First Ya Last Episode three by Lil Jakespeare

Ed Werder starting the #MeToo movement for old white men. The word “kite” sounds a lot like a racial slur. More upsetting: Kawhi Leonard trying to deport himself from San Antonio or Pop upping his wife’s life insurance policy. A BBQ fork or a wire brush: which would you choose?

Fuck you. Thanks for listening.

More Upsetting: A wing restaurant tweeting the n-word or calling you fat to your face? Having only a handful of your favorite players showing up to the White House or the POTUS uninviting all of them? Dak n' Zeke buying wiener water pistols or the water wieners only being available in caucasian? Would Giants GM Dave Gettleman's parents really ask him to fake cancer just so they could tour the University of Syracuse's football facilities?

I'm not sure how to describe what happened today. Why don't you get off your lazy ass and tell us what happened for a change?

We discuss the Santa Fe High School shooting. BFST with bagged-wine. We do our best Jim Brockmire impression. More Upsetting: domestic abuse or 9-1-1 Tom Foolery? Watching the Royal Wedding or glossing over slavery? Police brutality or cough syrup abuse?

Broadcasting live from the Trojan Mini-Magnum studios in Houston, Texas - THTHTCTH share what they feel were the most disappointing aspects from Game 1 of the Western Conference Finals. Barrel Fire Shot Take calls for LeBron to score 100 every night the rest of the way and Mike D'Antoni to regrow his mustache. More Upsetting: Eli Manning escaping justice or playing again this season? Fake Twitter outrage about the white lady calling the cops on the black family BBQ?

We had an interview lined up, but it fell through. So we trolled a telemarketer instead and she hung up on us. What does Utah Jazz head coach Quin Snyder look like? Johnny Manziel supplying the pharmaceutical companies with a comeback SZN. Cancer kid is dying to be around Syracuse football...or is he?

Barrel Fire Shot Takes tells you how to save money on gas and which of the freshly drafted quarterbacks will have the most success. Is there a bigger douchebag than Josh Rosen? Derrius Guise may be immature, but at least he's not Deuce Staley. More Upsetting: Russell Westbrook fighting Mormons or Mitt Romney's sense of style?

THTHTCTH catches you up on the NBA Playoffs and gives you their predictions for the 2018 NFL Draft. New segment "More Upsetting" makes it's debut.

Our first ever interview! Rockets Fangirl Aria Rich of FGSN broke down the opening playoff series between the Houston Rockets and the Minnesota Timberwolves.

THTHTCTH went and booked their first guest. And it wasn't that bad! Rockets Fangirl Aria Rich from Fan Girl Sports Network joined the show to talk Houston Rockets and their potential for a big playoff run. Don't worry... we weren't on our best behavior the whole time. Stephen A. Smith, Tony Stewart and the Yodel Kid couldn't escape the heat of the of our hot takes

The boys challenge ZDOG to a freestyle rap battle. Bob McNair's racism is a clever front. Master's Champion Patrick Reed is a little douchebag and Conor McGregor cut a wrestling promo.

Sister Jean has been covering up a murder for over five decades. Alice Roth was hit by two different line drive foul balls in the same at bat. Donte DiVincenzo feels confident enough to use the n-word and open up about his butthole on social media.

THTHTCTH is back and more audible than ever! Could be good or bad news depending on how you feel about us. Enjoy the hot takes live/recorded from Barron Studios in HTX. Only the Final Four remain standing in March Madness and Sister Jean has the full might of God Almighty on the side of Loyola Chicago. Does Ndamukong Suh signing with the Rams make them the best defense in football? Is OBJ worth the headache? Is Michael Bennett already guilty in the court of public opinion?

Back to school at good ole Lee College. A dramatic reading of Steve Francis' Players' Tribune Article, race for the one seed in the Western Conference, NFL trades and why Shaq Griffin is a ball hawk.

Barrel Fire Shot Takes proved that Saquon Barkely is the worst RB to come out of the NFL Draft in years, the Astros will not have a winning season, Jameis Winston is set to have a bounce back year and McDonald's Szechuan sauce isn't even better than ketchup. We also devolved into an argumentative political discussion regarding gun control. Seriously.

After embracing another sloppy "Barrel Fire Shot Take", Juggalo Trey and I give our thoughts on the disturbing situation ripping through the Dallas Mavericks organization. We speculate on Kawhi Leonard's future with the Spurs and gauge what effects fewer mound visits will have on baseball. Wash it all down with Trey's NASCAR in 90.

The NFL offseason is officially here and we're tasked with being somewhat creative. Segment Idol puts on the path to find our soon to be hallmark segments. Our favorite? "Barrel Fire Shot Take". Juggalo Trey tries to prank call Hooters. Stereotype Olympics is the offensive, in-depth olympic analysis you get from three guys who haven't watched a second of the 2018 Winter Olympics. We finish off without pulling out with Showtime's "Unsportsmanlike Comedy with Rob Gronkowski". It's exactly how you thought it would be.

Juggalo Trey was captured as sex slave. We were forced to do the show without him. Selfish prick. We finally give our thoughts on a thrilling Super Bowl. Malcolm Butler smoked weed with Rick Ross. Josh McDaniels jilted the Colts. LeBron James said "Fuck my fake friends. Where my real friends at?"

Literally the most ridiculous, but potentially brilliant radio commercial I've ever heard. Marketing is competitive. You continuously have to be thinking out of the box. I guess something and as shocking and horrific as this may actually work