Podcast appearances and mentions of henry yampolsky

Responding to Conflict in transformative and restorative ways isn't always easy.  Our podcast guest, Henry Yampolsky, J.D., best-selling author, mediator, educator, lawyer and keynote speaker is just the person to guide entrepreneurs in particular and people in general, to resolve conflict. Go to the special offer section to get a discount on Henry's award winning book. In this podcast you will discover Defining conflict? Is there a difference between reacting and responding to conflict? What can we do to respond to conflict with strength, clarity, and compassion, as opposed to reacting to it with fear, avoidance, or aggression? Advice to entrepreneurs for dealing with conflict How can we give direct, clear, and compassionate feedback to people we work with? What brought Henry to do this work?

Welcome to Episode 482 of the Yeukai Business Show. In this episode, Henry Yampolsky and I discuss the proven 4-step approach for dealing with organizational conflict and change effectively.  So, if you want to know more about Managing Workplace Conflict, tune in now! In this episode, you'll discover: Dealing with organizational conflict and change and creating a truly inclusive work environmentHow and why it is important to have difficult conversations in the workplaceThe 4 principles of conflict transformation About Henry Yampolsky  Henry Yampolsky is a best-selling author, mediator, educator, and multi-time TEDx Speaker. Henry serves as the Assistant Director for Education, Outreach, and Conflict Resolution at Virginia Tech's Office for Equity and Accessibility and teaches conflict resolution, mediation, and peacebuilding as part of Virginia Tech's Center for Peace Studies and Violence Prevention. Henry has worked with hundreds of complex conflicts and has taught and lectured around the world including at Columbia University School of Law, the New York Peace Institute, Bellevue Mediation in Zurich, Switzerland, the International Gandhi Center and Museum in New Delhi, Bharathiar University in Coimbatore, India and at the Sattva Summit in Rishikesh, India. More Information Learn more about Managing Workplace Conflict at https://www.livingpeaceinstitute.com/ LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/henryyampolsky/ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/LivingPeaceInstitute/ Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/livingpeaceinstitute/  Thanks for Tuning In! Thanks so much for being with us this week. Have some feedback you'd like to share? Please leave a note in the comments section below! If you enjoyed this episode on How to Expand your Business, please share it with your friends by using the social media buttons you see at the bottom of the post. Don't forget to subscribe to the show on iTunes to get automatic episode updates for our "Yeukai Business Show !" And, finally, please take a minute to leave us an honest review and rating on iTunes. They really help us out when it comes to the ranking of the show and I make it a point to read every single one of the reviews we get. Please leave a review right now Thanks for listening!

Ponder this question: How many children have no quality education internationally? The total includes 59 million children of primary school age, 62 million of lower secondary school age and 138 million of upper secondary age, according to the Statistical office of the United Nations Educational, Scientific and Cultural Organization (UNESCO.) Henry Yampolsky is a best-selling author, mediator, educator, and multi-time TEDx Speaker. Henry serves as the Assistant Director for Education, Outreach, and Conflict Resolution at Virginia Tech's Office for Equity and Accessibility and teaches conflict resolution, mediation, and peace building as part of Virginia Tech's Center for Peace Studies and Violence Prevention. Henry has worked with hundreds of complex conflicts and has taught and lectured around the world including at Columbia University School of Law, the New York Peace Institute, Bellevue Mediation in Zurich, Switzerland, the International Gandhi Center and Museum in New Delhi, Bharathiar University in Coimbatore, India and at the Sattva Summit in Rishikesh, India. Henry's best-selling and critically acclaimed book, Dis-Solving Conflict from Within: an Inner Path for Conflict Transformation introduced a mindfulness-based paradigm for responding to conflict with strength, clarity, and compassion instead of reacting with fear, avoidance, or aggression. Henry's two TEDx talks have garnered thousands of views. Henry's first TEDx talk described his motorcycle journey across the Himalayas and what it taught him about conflict, connection, and dialogue. In his second TEDx talk, Henry talked about radical compassion as the goal of conflict resolution. Prior to embarking on a career in peacebuilding, Henry was an award-winning trial lawyer in Philadelphia. He has earned a Doctor of Jurisprudence degree from Temple University and a BS in International Studies from the University of Scranton. Henry is also a master-level instructor of Sattva Yoga, trained at the birthplace of Yoga, in Rishikesh, India. Originally from Kyiv, Ukraine, Henry resides in Virginia. He joined me this week, to tell me more. For more information: https://www.livingpeaceinstitute.com/ LinkedIn: @HenryYampolsky,J.D.

Henry Yampolsky is a lawyer, a mediator, an educator, a public speaker, and an author. He serves as the Assistant Director for Education, Outreach, and Conflict Resolution at Virginia Tech's Office for Equity and Accessibility and teaches conflict resolution, mediation, and peace building through the Center for Peace Studies and Violence Prevention. Henry has worked on many complex conflicts and has taught and lectured around the world. He's also a yogi and a master-level instructor of Sattva Yoga, having been trained in Rishikesh, India. He's also the author of a new book, Dis-Solving Conflict from Within: An Inner Path for Conflict Transformation. A native of Kyiv, Ukraine, Henry currently resides in the mountains of Southwest Virginia. We spoke about his new book, spiritual development as a vital aspect of handling conflict effectively, why he speaks of “conflict transformation” rather than “resolution,” and much more. Learn more about Henry Yampolsky here: https://www.livingpeaceinstitute.com/#about

Podquest and TEDxFaurotPark proudly present... The Golden Mic Podcast w/ Marc Cordon Ep. 104 Radical Compassion as the Goal of Conflict Resolution w/ Henry Yampolsky https://play.goldenmicpodcast.com/0104_yampolsky "We experience the most profound joy when we're able to connect with another human being beyond their identity, beyond their story, beyond something about them, but truly connect with them." - Henry Yampolsky Growing up in Kyiv, Ukraine, Henry Yampolsky always wanted to come to the United States. As a refugee whose family landed in Scranton, PA, some of those dreams didn't quite live up to his expectations. It was most apparent in seeing his mom go from a respected nurse in Ukraine to a nurse's aide who didn't hold as much respect in the US. From those experiences, Henry wanted to become a lawyer to bring a voice to people like his parents. This sounds like a full circle moment, where Henry became the voice of the voiceless and would ride off into the sunset - the true American dream. But becoming a lawyer wasn't the American dream for Henry. Instead, becoming a lawyer would lead to him feeling stuck and lost. And this was the beginning of a truly remarkable journey - one that, at times, Henry would experience on a motorcycle. In the malaise and doldrums of feeling stuck, Henry and his wife watched a movie called "The Highest Pass," where Yogi guru Anand takes someone on a motorcycle trip through the Himalayas. It lit Henry up. After a few happy, non-random happen-stances, he found himself with Anand...now his teacher...on a motorcycle...on the Himalayas...on the ride of his life. Through continued spiritual practice, Henry's perspective of "us vs. them" began to melt away and replaced with another viewpoint - Everything is connected. He discovered the integrative law movement through which he became a mediator - one who practiced radical compassion. This is one of those episodes where something new shows up every time you listen to it. These are just a few: 45:19 - Pushing through fear & true freedom 52:34 - Observing without evaluating 57:25 - Pain without suffering 1:03:49 - The choice between reaction and response And he'll be sharing his talk Radical Compassion as the Goal of Conflict Resolution. If ever a time to subscribe to The Golden Mic Podcast, it's now as I have the privilege of having a conversation with many of the speakers you'll see and hear at TEDxFaurotPark 2022 on Saturday, October 1 at 9am at Veteran's Memorial Convention & Civic Center, Lima, Ohio. Go to TEDxFaurotPark 2022 to score a ticket. This will sell out. And if you can't score a ticket, this event will also be livestreamed on YouTube and Facebook. #TEDx #TEDxFaurotPark #thejoyrev #goldenmicpodcast #expertisereimagined #podquest If you love this episode, check out: Ep. 66 On Reconnecting With Soul w/ GP Walsh Enough copy!

In the first episode of the third season, Joe and Kira welcome Henry Yampolsky, the Assistant Director for Equity, Outreach, and Conflict Resolution in the Office for Equity and Accessibility at Virginia Tech. The three of them discuss Henry's efforts to educate the Virginia Tech community on compliance, civil rights, and communication, how those efforts derive from his philosophy on conflict resolution, and how his role differs from and overlaps those of the Ombuds Officers who appeared on the show last semester. Stacks on Stacks: The Interviews is a collection of guest interviews that aired during the regular broadcast of the program on Tuesdays from 3:30 until 5pm, over 90.7 FM WUVT, Radio for Everyone. Season Three: Silent Spring is a collection of all the interview segments recorded for live broadcast during the Stacks on Stacks radio program in the Spring 2022.

Trained as a lawyer, Henry Yampolsky, our guest this week is also a mediator, facilitator, trainer, conflict coach, author and TEDx speaker. Currently Henry serves as a senior leader at Virginia Tech’s Office for Equity and Accessibility where he leads university-wide conflict resolution and conflict coaching programs. We had an opportunity this week to sit down with Henry and talk about his adventure of crossing the Himalayas on a motorcycle and what his adventure taught him about connection and dialogue along with conflict resolution during these challenging times using science and technology of inner wellbeing.

Henry Yampolsky "Finding Peace Amid Chaos" on Why Do Pets Matter? with Debra Hamilton, Esq. Podcast #132In this episode, Henry Yampolsky, J.D. shares insight into living in peace even during Pandemic. A peace educator, mediator and conflict coach, Yampolsky and host Debra Hamilton talk about the opportunity for peace even as massive change is underway.More About Henry YampolskyHenry Yampolsky, J.D. is the co-founder, president, and CEO of Living Peace Institute.  Trained as a lawyer, Henry is a peace educator, mediator, conflict coach,  author and Tedx speaker.  He is passionate about empowering people to have transformative conversations and brings compassionate, intuitive, and mindful demeanor to his work.   Henry has lectured at Columbia University School of Law and has taught conflict resolution, mediation, negotiation, restorative justice, and mindfulness skills to senior UN diplomats, members of the New York Police Department, and top executives around the world.  He has also mediated and facilitated hundreds of complex conflicts.Henry is also a master-level Sattva Yoga teacher, trained in Rishikesh, India. He frequently teaches yoga and leads yoga and meditation workshops and retreats. Henry incorporates the deep wisdom of yoga in his conflict resolution, coaching, training, and consulting practices.https://www.livingpeaceinstitute.com/home/about/ More About Debra Hamilton, Esq.Debra Hamilton is a pet lover extraordinaire! Debra is a full-time mediator and conflict coach for people in disputes over animals and hosts Why Do Pets Matter? to further understanding, compassion and respect for animals globally. She is also a preservationist breeder of Irish Setters!Go here for more:https://hamiltonlawandmediation.com/e-mail: Info@HamiltonLawandMediation.comphone: 914.552.5021Debra works both nationwide and internationally. She has far-reaching experience in resolving interpersonal conflicts involving animals, and she is also well-known in the world of purebred dogs as a top breeder and exhibitor of Irish setters and long-haired dachshunds. Debra speaks widely on the topic of how mediation techniques can help people address conflicts without litigation. She has presented at veterinary schools, the American Kennel Club, the American Veterinary Medical Law Association, the Society of Animal Welfare Administrators, the Living With Animals conference, state bar association Animal Law Committee meetings, and animal interest group meetings. Debra also writes a blog for Hamilton Law and Mediation and is a past contributor to the Solo Practice University blog and the Canine Chronicle. She has been featured in Forbes, the Wall Street Journal, US News and World Report, and the New York Times, just to name a few. As the principal at Hamilton Law and Mediation, PLLC—the nation’s first solo mediation practice dedicated to helping people resolve conflicts over animals—Debra uses alternative dispute resolution to help address disagreements over the family pet during divorce, neighbors’ arguments over a barking dog, and confrontations between clients and veterinarians and other professionals who work with animals. HLM also looks forward to helping animal rights and welfare advocates see the benefit of having a conversation about the best interests of all parties—especially the animals—to resolve animal-related disputes. Debra is admitted to practice law in all New York State courts. She is certified as a mediator and collaborative professional and has worked with various court-based mediation programs in New York City (Queens-Community Mediation Service) and in Westchester and Rockland Counties in New York (Westchester and Rockland Mediation Centers).More from Henry Yampolsky on CoronavirusThere is no denial that the spread of the COVID-19 virus presents a serious threat to vulnerable individuals and an existential threat to an already strained health care system. Vulnerable individuals are not just the sick and the elderly, but are those whose immune systems are compromised in any way. In light of pollution, overexposure to antibiotics in meat and meat products, overimmunization, growing reliance on pharmaceuticals and on illicit drugs, and due to many other factors, each and every one of us, regardless of age or current state of health, is vulnerable to the virus. Each and everyone of us could also be the carrier and spread the virus to someone even more vulnerable than we are. Therefore, it is important that all of us head warnings from public heath officials, and to the extent possible, limit our in-person interactions with other people. Let us view quarantines, school closures, and event cancellations as acts of deep compassion towards our fellow beings. Let each of us gracefully accept the responsibility for the well-being of every other being and for the humanity and the planet as a whole.While these times will challenge us beyond anything we have experienced before, they also present immense opportunities. These include: opportunities to appreciate the importance of in-person connections with fellow beings; opportunities to learn and expand; opportunities to move beyond our identities, which while defining us, can also confine and limit us; opportunities to consider how, despite walls and closed borders, deeply interconnected we are. Most importantly, we have a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity to go deeply within us and to experience the fact that we are humanbeings and not humandoings; that we are so much more than accumulation of food that is our body and accumulation of ideas, judgments, prejudices, conditioning, and information that is our mind. Now is the time to ask life's most profound quesions and to sit with the uncertainty and the discomfort of not knowing the answers. Asking these questions can bring a profound transformation within us. And, we need a profound transformation if we are truly to face global challenges facing us which require a profoundly different, more inclusive, more collaborative, and more nuanced understanding of the very nature of life and of who we are.So, we can react to the current crisis with fear; with avoidance; or with aggression, or we can respond with strenth; with clarity; and with compassion. The choice we make will determine the future of this planet. The time is Now!To anyone who is interested in the tools for going inward, I would like to make them as available as possible. If you would like to learn: how to meditate; how to breathe through challenging times; how to use powerful yogic practices to strengthen your immune systems; and how to use the Dis-Solving Conflict from Within process to deal with conflict and fear, please message me to schedule free on-line sessions. And, if you simply feel lonely, sad or anxious, please message me as well. I would like to support you in all ways I can!The virus epidemic can become the most precious gift - connecting us with our vulnerability, humanity, and love! Let us not waste this precious gift or squander this time. Lokah Samasta Sukhino Bhavantu (may all the sentient beings be happy and free!).

On this week’s episode of Wonder Your Way to Brilliant, I am grateful to be speaking with my friend, colleague, and teacher, Henry Yampolsky. Henry is the President of the Living Peace Institute and a truly earnest practitioner of yoga. If you have any question about what ‘contentment’ really is, whether you have ever really felt it, and how you can expand your access to this experience, you will want to listen in to this conversation. Find out on today’s episode.

An amazingly rich and wide-reaching talk with Henry Yampolsky of the Living Peace Institute. He is a conscious mediator, teacher, trainer and author firmly grounded in legal expertise and Yogic principles. We discuss: :: Henry's story of awakening from being a lawyer to mediator to meditation & Yoga teacher to conscious mediator.:: How principles of mindfulness, meditation and Yoga can be incorporated into conflict scenarios to transform them into an arena of self-understanding and compassion equal to any spiritual practice.:: How to separate impulse from intuition.:: How to create space and time to meet challenging situations in a more mindful, self-aware and ultimate effective way - even in the craze of life.:: How difficult conversations transform when we tap into the deep needs that drive our feelings. :: How to know if a spiritual teacher really cares about you (hint: they profoundly upset you).:: How serving tables in a restaurant can potentially change the world.All roads that lead to Henry Yampolsky:Living Peace Institute HomepageInstagramInstagram (Living Peace Institute)FacebookFacebook (Living Peace Institute)Support the show (https://donorbox.org/support-serve-conscious)

Ben & Jecelyn learn how to breathe, and reimage the nature of conflict and understand THRIVING from a mediation, meditation, and conflict resolution expert. Hear from  Henry Yampolsky, J.D. founder and president of Living Peace Institute. Trained as a lawyer, Henry is a peace educator, mediator, social entrepreneur and a pioneer in the field of conscious conflict resolution.

Did you know that you and your kids can use mindfulness to help manage the stress of divorce? Aurora Johannson shares with us how you can use the strategy of mindfulness to reduce your stress levels and make better decisions. Aurora is a mediator, family lawyer, mindfulness teacher and yogi in Kelowna, British Columbia. She enjoys peacemaking,  meditating, teaching and the interconnectedness of all things. Your host, Christina Vinters, is a nationally designated Chartered Mediator on a mission to inspire and facilitate healthy family transitions. She is an “ex” Divorce Lawyer (Non-Practicing Member of the Bar), Author of Pathways to Amicable Divorce, and the DIY Divorce Manual, and Peacemaking Business Consultant. Guest Links: Website: https://insidepassagelaw.ca/ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/mindfuldivorce/ LinkedIn: https://ca.linkedin.com/in/aurora-johannson-a17aaa3b Modern Separations Links: Website: https://www.modernseparations.com/ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/modernseparations Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/divorcewell Twitter: https://twitter.com/cvinters LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/cvinters/   Episode Transcript Christina: Hey everybody! Welcome to the Divorce Well Podcast, today I'm talking to Aurora Johannson. Aurora is a Mediator, Family Lawyer, and a Mindfulness and a Yoga instructor. She has been a practicing Family Lawyer for over 8 years and just recently has started an innovative new practice, a law, and mediation practice which integrates Mindfulness into all of her processes.  Divorce can be such a stressful transition even when you and your partner are doing your best to make things go as smoothly and respectfully as possible. Aurora shares how using Mindfulness can help you manage your stress and improve your decision making. Check it out, it's a really great discussion. Welcome Aurora, thank you so much for being here today. And I’m really thrilled that you’re actually here in person. This is my first in-person interview.  Aurora: Oh it's very exciting for me too! Christina: So why don't you start by telling us a little bit about yourself and how you got interested in mindfulness. Aurora: Well, I am a parent, I'm a family lawyer and have been since 2007. I have a partner who I've worked with for several years. And a few years ago I started getting, I guess getting burnt out from work and from just having so many, different things to do in a day. And the work wasn't feeling like it really jived with me anymore. It was taking more than it was giving, and my sister actually had some experience with mindfulness so already, she'd gone to a couple of silent meditation retreats and I started looking into it and I believe it was her who told me about an app called "Insight Timer". Once I got onto that the rest just sort of flowed, and the more I learned about it, the more it made total sense to me. And I found very little in the Mindful Meditation, and Mindfulness practices, and teachings to really argue with. It just went with my own personality and my understanding about the world. I'm a big believer in physics actually, rather than religion, you know the interconnectedness of all things is really like a physics concept. Looking at electrons, and how we're all made up of, stardust. Actually, but when you really take it down to like a particle level, or an electron level it's true. So, that was one of the concepts that I.. I liked that there was this scientific basis to it as well, and I've gone from there.  Christina: Okay, yeah I've been reading that there have been quite a few, studies done in recent years on the physiological effects and benefits of Mindfulness. But why don't we take a step back, and for people who are not familiar with the concept, can you describe what exactly Mindfulness is? What do you mean when you're talking about Mindfulness? Aurora: Right, so backing out of the whole universe, and having to understand all of those things. It's really a very simple concept. Mindfulness is awareness of the present moment that you're in. Because we really can't be anywhere other than where we are right now, but, we spend a whole lot of time if not even most of our time, either in past things that have happened going through our mind. How we could've done them differently, maybe even congratulating ourselves for things that went well. Or in future, things that could happen, or are going to happen. Everything from what we need to make for dinner, and laundry we need to do, to where we want our careers to go, and relationships and things like that. That's not a bad thing, those are natural things. That's how we work as human beings, we plan and we learn from our past. However, there's a lot of enjoyment and clearheaded thinking to be gained from being able to be present. And a lot of, sort of calming mental health effect as well. So it's just being aware of your, present situation. Right now, right here, I'm sitting on a chair across from you. I can feel the carpet under my foot. I can see the table in front of me, I'm aware of the temperature in the room and I'm not zoning out, I'm actually zoning in. I'm really aware of what my body's doing. What I can see, hear, feel that sort of stuff. Christina: So it sounds like something that you would be practicing, basically throughout your day, rather than during a specific period of time. For me Mindfulness, sort of blurred together with meditation? Is meditation part of Mindfulness? Is that part of how you achieve Mindfulness? How do those two things connect? Aurora: That's a really good question because meditation... you know sitting out lotus pose and saying "Om", is where many people go right off the bat. When the thing about Mindfulness, but actually, you're absolutely right. Mindfulness is a practice, that we have throughout our day, and many people all people probably have moments of Mindfulness in their day. Say you, this is a classic one, say you drive home, it's a day that you're kind of tired you've been working, it's been a long day, you drive home and you realize that you can't remember all the turns that you took on the way home. That moment when you realize that, and you recognize "Oh I''m home, I'm sitting in my car here." That's you coming back to the present moment. And what Mindful practice really is, is doing that over and over and over and over again. So, when your mind wanders, and you recognize that it's wandered, bringing it back.  One of the Mindfulness practitioners I listen to, I can't remember the name of the top of my head, but they talk about it, it's like training a puppy. You call the puppy to you, if the puppy doesn't come the first time, you don't go and beat the puppy. You don't chastise the puppy, or yourself when your mind wanders. You just go and get the puppy and bring it back to you. And so, where that intersects with meditation is that meditation.. a daily practice of meditating, I missed mine this morning and that's okay. I'll try and fit it in later today. But daily practice of meditation helps you grow the neural pathways that you need to have to be able to bring that puppy of your mind back.  Christina: Okay, interesting. So the meditation is actually sort of like the training ground to help you with your mindfulness throughout the day.  Aurora: Right, it's kind of like going to the gym. Yeah.  Christina: Okay so what would you say are the benefits of Mindfulness, both in general and also within the legal process. Why is this something that people should be considering? Aurora: So looking at Mindfulness as a remedial activity, helping you with the problem. It can help you reduce stress, just looking at it for a period with a positive standpoint. Even when you aren't having a stressor, and your practicing Mindfulness, you may find that situations that would've stressed you out before, are less stressful.  I'm a family lawyer, my clients have a lot of stress. I had a lot of stress. When I started practicing Mindfulness, I noticed that that went way down. And it sort of increased my capacity to deal with things. When you think about, this is something that I got from our colleague Henry Yampolsky, from taking a course with him on Mindful Mediation, when you have a bunch of stressors in your life, you may be finding yourself feeling maxed out like you're at maximum capacity. How can you change that? It seems like the vessel that is us, is the size that it is, how can we affect our capacity to deal with things. You can actually increase your capacity, the space that you have to process, information and challenges, by practicing Mindfulness. Scientifically you can also shrink your amygdala which is where a lot of your stress response arises, I believe that's your reptilian brain people call it sometimes you fight or flight center. And what you want to be able to do is to respond to things rather than react and so if that system is not super powerful, but your capacity system, your space, your mindful awareness, is what's been strengthened, then when something comes up that's stressful you'll have the facility within yourself to deal with it. Christina: That's one of the things that I read recently, was that the amygdala would become less sensitive, so you're less likely in a stressful situation, to have that fight or flight response triggered and you can respond more rationally or productively rather than a knee-jerk type reaction.  Aurora: I believe that's correct. That's my understanding of it. And that it physiologically actually become smaller, so less sensitive and smaller. A lot of people are fond of saying that the neurons that fire together wire together, and so if your neurons that are firing all of the time are in that stress reactivity mode, those are the ones that are being enhanced and growing. And if you're practicing your daily meditation for 5 minutes or 10 minutes or half hour, then that's what's being strengthened.  Christina: So then as, a family lawyer, how do you see all of these benefiting your clients who are going through the separation process?  Aurora:  Well, I noticed that my clients have tended over the years to be largely preoccupied, and I can think of many meetings and there are countless more that I can't recall, where people getting to a.. really like a trance, where they even look like they're looking into a far-off distance, when they're telling me their stories about things that have happened to them, or things they wished had gone differently, or fears that they have about what can happen in the future and it's really important for me to know that story. But I notice that they'll get repetitive about it, not just in a way that I need to hear what they have to say, but in a way that they're really repeating this past history, or fear to themselves over and over again. And I've used Mindfulness practice as I've actually used they like, alright let's come back to the room it seems like we are way far off and somewhere that where we don't know anything about what's going on in the future yet, or what could. And I get drawn down there as well. and I realize, wait a second where are we? We are not in this room. Let's come back to the room and look at what we actually have any control over, which is ourselves. So it empowers the clients to get out of that mode of trying to figure out what another human being is going to do and persuading them or cajoling them to do or not do that, and to come back to what actually they can control and when they realize "Hang on a second, I'm driving the bus that is my life, that person's not steering anything, they can influence me but I actually have a lot of control over what I do in my life and my choices". It puts them in a place where they're going to make much better decisions for their lives and their children's lives, in future setting up the life that they want, rather than just reacting or responding to this how they wish people would be or they fear people will be. Also, it helps them deal with stress... Christina: Which is, of course, prevalent for most people throughout the process.  Aurora: Yes. Yes, I've seen people actually, I believe I was practicing Mindfulness techniques with my clients for years and not realizing what it was. And it was very satisfying to watch my clients transform from the time they would come to me often very stressed, they were sometimes overweight, underweight, really visibly anxious looking, to living their own lives. And that was really exciting for me. And I can remember one of my clients particularly, who was just quite birdlike and quivering with anxiety, and over the next year, she just blossomed she found new work that she was able to choose just deciding herself. She didn't have to worry about what her partner, who she didn't get along with, was going to say and things like that, just a lot of like self-determination. And what I used to say to people was, it's okay to go out and have fun, it's okay to figure out what you want to do and to do that, I think the Mindfulness is one of the things that helps them with that. Figure out what those things are.  Christina: Right. Are there particular situations, or people for whom you think that this Mindfulness practice would be really well-suited? Is that something that everybody should consider or are there certain things where you can say, you know if this applies to you or if that applies to you this might be of particular benefit and you should really think about trying it out.  Aurora: I would say that it can benefit anyone or everyone. It's really a non-invasive thing because it's only you examining yourself. And being present with yourself, listening to yourself. That said, I would say that anyone who's curious about it would probably really benefit from it, maybe more quickly because they may have a little bit more excitement about it. But once people are practicing it, and seeing the difference that it can make, I think just about anybody could benefit from it. The only caution I would say is that we have a number of, well... myriad coping mechanisms and psychologists would be the people to talk to about that but we have a number of coping mechanisms, things like denial for example, that are in place for a reason. So if someone is really, say using denial as a coping mechanism, it's not for me to try to re-orient them and bring them out of that. Because they're using it for a reason and if they're still using it, my understanding is that, that's because they're not ready to let go of it. So, the thing to just be aware of when practicing mindfulness is that you can come across thoughts that are disturbing or upsetting to you. And that is a good time to get some professional assistance, somebody like a counselor who can help you to find other coping mechanisms or help you to investigate those things just so you're not going it alone. Christina: Yeah, that's really good to know. So when you're having more awareness about your thoughts you might actually end up having upsetting thoughts or realizations and then that has to be dealt in a healthy way.  Aurora: Right. Christina: And I will be having some interviews with a counselor, and a coach, and so they will be able to shed a little bit of light on that too.   Christina: So, would you say that these types of principles can be shared well with children?  Aurora: Definitely, definitely. I introduced my oldest son to some meditations on the insight timer, there was a 20-day challenge, 20-day learn to meditate challenge, and it was one minute at each day. So Day 1 is 60 seconds long. And he really enjoyed that, he did it in the evening just as he was going to bed. He'd lay down in bed and he plugged in his tablet and used that app and he's so proud that he did that. He learned a lot about it. He's 11 years old and so when people at school are making jokes about meditation and doing that classic Om pose, which is part of it, but it's not all of it, and not everybody has to do it that way. But he knows that that's not necessarily what meditation is about.  Christina: Right. That's impressive. So he got up to 20 minutes?  Aurora: He got up to 20 minutes and he still uses it sometimes to help him fall asleep. He gets attention issues and so sometimes in the night when it's time to go to sleep, his brain is really active. A lot of our brains are at that time. So to be able to come back from the thoughts to lying in bed.   Christina: Would you say that using an app like that is a helpful way to get anybody started?  Aurora: Absolutely. It's really approachable and there's more than one app out there.  Christina: This is not an advertisement for that app. We will not be sponsoring this.   Aurora: This is not an advertisement for that app. What I would say is to find a way in, that's mindfulness talk. But it's also for lay people. Find a way, just try it and there are so many different types of meditation out there. There are groups that you can be part of in person, you can do guided meditations. A lot of people find guided meditations great to start. And then what I found myself is I started with guided meditations and then the better I got it doing those, the more consistent I was, the more I actually really started to crave trying to do it on my own just with a timer. So I use a timer now often. But sometimes you know it's Friday or Saturday or something, and I just feel like something different, and I'll find a new guided meditation.  Christina: Can you describe one of those guided meditations? What is that? Like, what are they saying to you?  Aurora: How are they programming me?  Christina: Yeah.  Aurora: No way. They are not programming me at all. Um, all right. Well, a common one, this sort of a favorite of a lot of people is a body scan meditation. And that's where you might start sitting or lying down if you're feeling drowsy. You might start sitting up and eyes closed or open, but in a place where you won't be interrupted during the time of the meditation. Both the shortest body scans are both 15 minutes.  Christina: Oh that's a pretty long to start of.  Aurora: It is but because you have instructions, the time sort of flies by. it gives you prons of what you're thinking about now. So for example, the one I'm thinking about by Elisha Goldstein, he starts out in I believe your right big toe. And you just basically go through many different areas of your body, working from your toes up, so you just start by just feeling your right big toe. And then into the ball of your foot, and to the ankle, because you'll notice probably throughout today after having this conversation that there are lots of parts of your body you just completely ignore all day. But you can bring your awareness to them at any time.  Christina: So for people who are right now feeling stressed and busy and overwhelmed are ready, what would one of those one-minute meditations look like?  Aurora: A 1-minute meditation may look just like coming to a comfortable seated position, closing your eyes and watching your breath. Just for the minute. While watching even your chest rise and fall, or your belly rise and fall. Anything rhythmic that's going on in your body, whatever you feel is comfortable to you. And here is the key: when you notice your mind has wandered because everyone's does. You just bring your attention back to that rhythmic item. Over and over again. And you may notice at the end of a minute that it's wandered for the entire minute, or not. And there's no wrong way of doing it. You just bring your attention back.  Christina: And then noticing of the whole mind wandering, that's the actual success part rate is that you've noticed and now you're coming back.  Aurora: Exactly. And there's a micro and a macro level to that. So, on the micro level, it's within that meditation. You notice your mind has wandered and you come back. On a macro level, it's about getting your butt on the cushion, or the kitchen chair, wherever you medicate. And for me for example, I haven't done my meditation today so I know on a macro level, I need to get my butt in the chair later on today.  Or if it's weeks between the last time you meditated than today, coming back to the meditation, you'll notice you've wandered away from it, come back to it. And non-judgment is one of the main tenants of mindfulness philosophy. Not beating yourself up when your mind wanders. And noticing that, that instinct to trust yourself.   Christina: Right. So what recommendations do you have for people who are going through the process of separation right now, and are hoping to separate peacefully?  Aurora: That is a big question. I think learning is much about yourself as you can. Learning in terms of mindfulness, what does your mind wander off to, and bringing it back? The more you can know about yourself, the better decisions you can make. You can notice when you're motivated by fear. That's something that is unlikely to happen. You can notice when you're motivated by anger or spite, or when you're doing something self-destructive. Or that might not be the best thing for your children. I've seen so many people who just wanna do best for their kids, and who gets side-tracked on some sort of spiteful venture. And I think as a parent, I don't even really judge that. I used to judge that so harshly. And now I think, we all have lots of things that we do regularly where we go "that was not my best parenting moment". But it doesn't mean that I'm a bad mom. But I mindfully notice.    And then I can go to my son and say "that really wasn't very cool what I just said, and I'm really sorry, can we try over? Come back to where we wanna be?" So yeah, I would say that the more you can learn about yourself, the more aware you can become, the better decisions you'll make. And also, the more opportunity there will be free to experience. Enjoy, even while this process is happening.  Christina: That's something that a lot of people might not have even considered possible.  Aurora: That's true. People who are having divorces and separations often go about it either as something should be avoided entirely or something where if they work really, really, really hard at it and dedicate all their time to it, it would go by faster. Or it'll be more successful. And that just isn't the case. Often they just sort of get in an obsessive kind of a thing where it's consuming their lives. But it's also about proportion. If you have even 20 minutes a day where you are taking time out to tune in, maybe failure body or enjoy looking at flowers or whatever it is that you like and actually enjoy that cup of coffee or tea you're having actually taste it, what does the liquid feel like in your mouth stuff like that, that time is time where you weren't stressing about your divorce.  Christina:  Excellent. Thank you so much for sharing all of this great information, Aurora.  Aurora: It's my pleasure. I hope people will get turned on about mindfulness because I really feel confident that it can help.   

If we are not your thoughts, feelings or flesh, what are we? If we are not defined by the roles we play, things we do, or awards we earn, then who are we? The questions are both intriguing and unusual. Join me for today’s episode of Wonder Your Way to Brilliant when April retreat co-facilitator, Henry Yampolsky and I continue to explore the essence of BEING.  In addition to facilitating at Brilliance of Being, Henry brings an eclectic mix of interest in motorcycles, yoga, meditation, mediation, and car shopping! to his work of guiding people to peace and inner contentment.