Connecting in the Chaos

Social media, what do you think about it? Do you think social media hurts your friendshipsor do you think it helps keep you connected?  The answer is both. Social media can help strengthen friendships and it can also hurt  friendships.  It all depends on how YOU choose to use your social media.  Do you use it to consume or do you use it to connect? Today my guest, Angela Pitnikoff and I chat about social media & how we can take control of how we use it in regards to being intentional in our friendships. When it comes to friendships, social media has created a whole new ball game.  It gives us the ability to stay connected with virtually anyone at any hour of the day, but it also can make it much harder to have deep meaningful connections.  Angela shares ways to use social media in ways to grow our connections with the people that we care about.  This conversation definitely  inspired me to not just be a "scroller" on social media but a friend who sees and engages in what my friends are posting. Angela is a Pastor's wife, mom to 3 boys, new podcaster, & worship leader. She loves helping women understand their true identity that only comes from Jesus! She has a heart to also take people into the deeper places with God through worship!CONNECT WITH ANGELA:Facebook: Kingdom Daughters SisterhoodInstagram: @mrsangelapitnikoffPodcast: The Kingdom Daughters Podcast CONNECT WITH ME:Facebook:  Connecting in the ChaosInstagram :  @heather.onckenEmail : heather@connectinginthechaos.comClick here for my free guide Simple Ways to be Intentional in our Friendships.Click here to leave me a review at iTunes!! Let me know why you love this podcast.

I have my friend Mary Ann Griffith a licensed therapist back with me today, and we are discussing the 5 love languages.  This conversation is based off of Dr. Gary Chapman's best seller, The 5 Love Languages.  We dive into what the 5 love languages are, and why it is so important to know the love languages of those closest to us.  Love languages gives us an insight on how a person receives love. When we understand how someone receives love then it in return can help us to show them love in the way that they best receive it.  Taking the time to learn the love languages of those closest to you will not only take the guess work out of how to show them that you love and appreciate them, but it will also help build and strengthen that relationship.  Gary Chapman The 5 Love LanguagesClick Here to take the Love Language Quiz CONNECT WITH MARY ANN:Instagram: therenewalsessionPodcast: The Renewal SessionCONNECT WITH ME:Facebook:  Connecting in the ChaosInstagram :  @heather.onckenEmail : heather@connectinginthechaos.comClick here for my free guide Simple Ways to be Intentional in our Friendships.Click here to leave me a review at iTunes!! Let me know why you love this podcast.

Valentine's Day is almost here and for those who are single this time of the year can be painful and difficult.  Valentine's Day often brings to mind images of happy couples exchanging gifts & a date out on the town, enjoying dinner by candlelight.  If you aren't in a romantic relationship, Valentine's Day can feel like a slap in the face.  It may seem as if everyone is married or has a significant other except you. Today my guest, Merritt Onsa and I discuss why this time of year can be painful if you are single and what we can do to show our single friends that they are loved and they matter. Merritt married later in life at the age of 39.  She shares the struggles she experienced with being single much later than she expected and gives some practical ways we can love our single friends. If you are a single friend listening to this I want to remind and encourage you that if God has placed the desire in your heart to be married, continue to seek Him in asking for that.  Remember that God's timeline and our timeline rarely line up but that we can trust that His perfect timing is the best. Know that your worth and value is in Jesus alone and no human being can fill the void that only Jesus can fill.  To my married friends please take this time and look for ways your can be intentional in your everyday to show your single friends the value and importance that they bring to your life.  I pray this episode leaves you encouraged and loved. CONNECT WITH MERRITT:Facebook:   Devoted Dreamers   Instagram:  @merrittjoWebsite:  merrittonsa.comCONNECT WITH ME:Facebook:  Connecting in the ChaosInstagram :  @heather.onckenEmail : heather@connectinginthechaos.comClick here for my free guide Simple Ways to be Intentional in our Friendships.If you are loving this podcast and its helping you with your friendships, would you head on over to iTunes or your favorite podcast app and leave a rating and review?Click here to leave me a review at iTunes!!  Let me know why you love this podcast. 

Happy February!! Today we are talking all things Galentine's Day.  For those of you that are not familiar with Galentine's Day let me fill you in.  Galentine's Day is celebrated on February 13th and is a day to celebrate all the women in your life that you love.  How fun, right?? It is a day that gives us all the opportunity to let our friends know how much we love them, and how important they are in our lives!My sweet friend Brandy Traylor joins me today.  We are share a little history of Galentine's Day and also why we think it is so important that we take this day to celebrate it.  We also give you some simple suggestions on how to celebrate this day.We hope that after you listen to this episode that it will inspire you to celebrate this fun day with all the gals in your life. CONNECT WITH ME:Facebook:  Connecting in the ChaosInstagram:  @heather.onckenEmail: heather@connectinginthechaos.comClick here for my free guide Simple Ways to be Intentional in our Friendships.Click here to leave me a review at iTunes!! Let me know why you love this podcast.

Hey Friends, I am back!! I took a much needed break to enjoy the holiday season but I am happy to finally be back.  This episode is short and sweet.  I am going to give you a preview of what is to come next month on Connecting in the Chaos and also share my vision for the podcast as I transition into season 2.  CONNECT WITH ME:Facebook:  Connecting in the ChaosInstagram :  @heather.onckenEmail : heather@connectinginthechaos.comClick here for my free guide Simple Ways to be Intentional in our Friendships.Click here to leave me a review at iTunes!! Let me know why you love this podcast.

My good friend, Abby Emert, joins me again on the podcast, and we are talking all about holiday traditions that you can start with you friend. For most of the Holiday's come with traditions that we have created with our family, but rarely do we take the time to be intentional to create those traditions with friends. We share some fun and simple ways that you can start a tradition this year. Remember when beginning a new tradition to start small, and build from there. This episode is not meant to overwhelm you but to encourage and inspire you with different ideas. Building holiday traditions with friends is a sure way to also build and strengthen the bond of a friendship.  CONNECT WITH ME:Facebook:  Connecting in the ChaosInstagram :  @heather.onckenEmail : heather@connectinginthechaos.comClick here for my free guide Simple Ways to be Intentional in our Friendships.Click here to leave me a review at iTunes!! Let me know why you love this podcast.

These days, we are more connected than ever through social media. Most of us have hundreds of "friends" on all of our different social media networks, yet we find ourselves lonelier than  we have ever been.  Experts have declared that we are in a loneliness epidemic.Today, I am talking with Sue Donaldson about why we feel so lonely and what we can do to get out of the loneliness.  Sue loves mentoring & teaching about hospitality and believes that hospitality is one of the best ways to reduce the loneliness we feel.Speaker, author, Sue and her husband, Mark, live in San Luis Obispo, California. Sue taught high school English, part of the time in Brazil with Wycliffe Bible Translators. She and her husband, Mark, have raised 3 daughters who keep them at the bank and on their knees. Sue loves connecting people to one another, to God, and to His Word, and has been speaking for the last 20 years or so with long pauses for babies, diapers and soccer pasta parties. She blogs at WelcomeHeart: Knowing and Showing the Heart of God and hosts a weekly podcast: Make it Count: Living a Legacy Life- https://welcomeheart.com/podcastSue's Free Resources:Click Here for Sue's free resources on hospitality and connecting.Click Here for printable guide to Five Ideas for Holiday Gathering.Click here for Hospitality Challenge. Sue's books:-Come to My Table: God's Hospitality and Yours-Hospitality, 101: Lessons from the Ultimate Host, a 12-Week Bible Study Table Mentoring: A Simple Guide to Coming Alongside-Say Something Special: 252 Conversation Starters, The Ultimate Guide to Stimulating Table     TalkCONNECT WITH SUE: Facebook: Sue Moore Donaldson Instagram: @suemooredonaldsonTwitter: @welcomeheartPinterest: welcome_heartSue's 15 keynotes and 8 Retreat Series can be found here:  https://welcomeheart.com/speaking-topic-detailJoin Sue's Facebook group Welcome Heart, Welcome Home https://www.facebook.com/groups/welcomeheartCONNECT WITH ME:Facebook:  Connecting in the ChaosInstagram :  @heather.onckenEmail : heather@connectinginthechaos.comClick here for my free guide Simple Ways to be Intentional in our Friendships.Click here to leave me a review at iTunes!! Let me know why you love this podcast.

The holidays can be a challenging time of year for someone who has lost a loved one.  Whether that loss was this year or four years ago, the holidays can be hard.  My guest, Tricia Roos, is no stranger to grief and she shares her story of the loss of her daughter, Annabelle.  She discusses with me what it looks like to walk through both grief and the holidays and how the holidays can be a triggering time for someone who has experienced a loss.  She gives practical ways we can be sensitive and thoughtful during the holidays to our friend who has experienced a loss.  When we don't acknowledge our friend's loss, we can come off as being insensitive or like we don't care.  That very often is not the case.  The reality is that grief can be uncomfortable and many times we may feel like we do not know the right thing to say or do.  After this conversation with Tricia, I pray that you walk away from it feeling more comfortable and better equipped to be supportive during the holidays for a friend after a loss.Tricia also shares about her new book called "When Wishes Change."  This book is an open-eyed look at blind trust and is a lesson for all ages that hardship can end in hope. This book is for anyone who has had to surrender their dream of what they wanted their life to look like for the life that is God's plan. We know that surrendering our dreams can be hard, but we also know that God's plan and way is always best. CONNECT WITH TRICIA:Book Link: Click Here to purchase When Wishes Change Facebook: When Wishes Change Website: www.whenwisheschange.comInstagram: @whenwisheschangeTiktok: @whenwisheschange   CONNECT WITH ME:Facebook:  Connecting in the ChaosInstagram :  @heather.onckenEmail : heather@connectinginthechaos.comClick here for my free guide Simple Ways to be Intentional in our Friendships.Click here to leave me a review at iTunes!! Let me know why you love this podcast.

It is almost Thanksgiving.  It is hard to believe it is here, but it is.  This conversation I am  sitting down and have a fun conversation with my good friend Abby Emert, and we are talking about ways we can show our friends how thankful we are for them.We talk about some fun and simple ways to show them how thankful you are. We also even give you some great ideas on how to host a Friendsgiving.  CONNECT WITH ME:Facebook:  Connecting in the ChaosInstagram :  @heather.onckenEmail : heather@connectinginthechaos.comClick here for my free guide Simple Ways to be Intentional in our Friendships.Click here to leave me a review at iTunes!! Let me know why you love this podcast.

Can you believe it is already that time of the year?  For me I love this time of year.  I love the Holidays but more specifically, I love Christmas!  I think it is the most wonderful time of the year.  Although I absolutely love this time of the year, let's be real here, the joy of the season can very easily get clouded with the busyness of the hustle and bustle of holiday obligations, stress and chaos.  If we do not take the time to be intentional in experiencing the joy of this Christmas Season, we will get swept into the chaos of it instead.Today my guest, Christine Trimpe shares about how we can find joy this Christmas Season,Christine is an author, speaking, joy seeker, and weight-loss warrior.  Christine just released a brand-new book called, Seeking Joy Through the Gospel of Luke. It is a 25 days devotional designed to help us to take time to stop and fully embrace this Christmas season for it's true meaning.  In stopping to take time to find the true meaning is where you also will find the true joy.As we go into this Holiday season and countdown to Christmas, let us be reminded to slow down, take a deep breath and find the true joy that comes from knowing the One True Living God. Despite if we are walking through good times or hard times this Holiday season, we can lean on God knowing he will meet us exactly where we are. We can find Joy this Christmas regardless of what our circumstances of life look like. To order Christine's book, Seeking Joy through the Gospel of Luke, Click Here CONNECT WITH CHRISTINE:Email: Christine@christinetrimpe.comWebsite: www.christinetrimpe.comFacebook: ChistineTrimpeLLCInstagram: @coachchristinetrimpeTwitter: KetoChristineMIYouTube: @ChristineTrimpeCONNECT WITH ME:Facebook:  Connecting in the ChaosInstagram :  @heather.onckenEmail : heather@connectinginthechaos.comClick here for my free guide Simple Ways to be Intentional in our Friendships.Click here to leave me a review at iTunes!! Let me know why you love this podcast.

I am chatting with my guest, Stephanie Pavlantos, about how we can support our friends who have a child or children with special needs.   Stephanie is mom of three and her son, Matthew, was diagnosed with cerebral palsy when he was a toddler.  She shares with us the grief that came with his diagnosis and how all the hopes and dreams she had for him had to be surrendered.  We talk about how not only is having a child with special needs emotionally draining, but all of the physical demands it takes as well.Stephanie shares that even though a mom with a special needs child may not be asking for help or telling you that she is struggling, she probably is.  She is probably very lonely and could use a friend.  Because Stephanie has walked in these shoes, she shares some great ways that we can step up and love our friends well who have a child with special needs.  She encourages us to not let the child's disability scare or intimidate us.  Your friend needs you.  She needs your help and support and Stephanie is going to help educate us on how to do that well.  CONNECT WITH ME:Facebook:  Connecting in the ChaosInstagram :  @heather.onckenEmail : heather@connectinginthechaos.comClick here for my free guide Simple Ways to be Intentional in our Friendships.Click here to leave me a review at iTunes!! Let me know why you love this podcast.

Today, I am chatting with Peyton Garland and our conversation is all about vulnerability and why it is so important in our friendships. Vulnerability is the foundation of any close, deep friendship.  Without vulnerability, our friendships don't go as deep as they should and they remain more surface-based.We talk about why vulnerability is so important in our friendships.  Even though it is so important, it can be scary to open up and let people into those parts of our messy life that we would rather remain hidden.  When you allow your friends to see you both when you are up and when you are down and when you open up to them honestly about what is going on in your life, your friendships will have depth.  When you share with your friends what is on your mind, your concerns and your fears, you begin to build a meaningful bond.  Being vulnerable strengthens relationships.  Vulnerability makes it impossible for your friendships to be fake or superficial.  When you are open, honest, and raw with your friends, they can also feel safe to share their true selves with you.  Letting your guard down can feel risky, but making the choice to show your friends your true self, flaws and all, is the only way to build those deep friendships we all crave and need.  Peyton is the author of the book "Not So by Myself" which has been promoted by TED talk speakers and a Former White House Press Secretary. In her book she speaks openly about experiencing loneliness, finding forgiveness, and discovering that we don't need to be perfect in order to be happy or to be loved by God.  Acknowledging our imperfection allows us to fully experience the grace given freely to us by God. CONNECT WITH PEYTON:Instagram: @peytonmgarlandauthorWebsite: https://peytongarland.meCONNECT WITH ME:Facebook:  Connecting in the ChaosInstagram :  @heather.onckenEmail : heather@connectinginthechaos.comClick here for my free guide Simple Ways to be Intentional in our Friendships.Click here to leave me a review at iTunes!! Let me know why you love this podcast.

Four Questions:1  Do you want to make new friends?2.  Have you recently relocated and are now overwhelmed with how much energy and effort it will take to build new friendships?3.  Is your season of life changing and you would really love some new friends who are in a similar season? 4. Do you have some solid friendships, but struggle with wondering whether those friendship's are healthy or not?  If you answered YES to any of these questions, this episode is for you!!Today, I have the privilege to have author and speaker, Erica Wiggenhorn join me on the podcast.  We are talking about what it looks like to build, foster, and invest in friendships. Erica shares her story about what it was like to move across the country three different times, and what it looked like to build brand new friendships after each of those moves.  She shares some practical tips of great ways to meet new friends and these are great tools for any of us who would love to find and meet some new friends.  Even if you are not the new kid on the block, her tips will be useful.Erica also shares five signs that she believes shows us what a healthy friendship looks like.  She analyzes the Biblical relationship between Moses and Jethro and describes, more deeply in her latest book why these signs and/or traits are so important in our current friendships.  If we are going to take the time to build, foster, and invest in our friendships we want to make sure we are putting our efforts, and energy into something that is healthy.Erica is an award-winning author and the founder of Every Life Ministries, bringing you the truths of Scripture to transform your life.  Her latest book, Letting God Be Enough: Why Striving Keeps You Stuck and How Surrender Sets You Free, and it just hit the shelves last month.  Letting God Be Enough examines Moses' fear of inadequacy and how God invites Moses to rest in his identity and God's sufficiency.   Erica is the author of three Bible Studies released by Moody Publishers: An Unexplainable Life, The Unexplainable Church, and Unexplainable Jesus.   CONNECT WITH ERICA:Click Here for Erica's FREE 10 day Devotional,  Letting God Be Enough in the Day to Day. A ten day devotional to transform your daily lifeInstagram: @ericawiggenhorn Facebook: Erica Wiggenhorn AuthorCONNECT WITH ME:Facebook:  Connecting in the ChaosInstagram :  @heather.onckenEmail : heather@connectinginthechaos.comClick here for my free guide Simple Ways to be Intentional in our Friendships.Click here to leave me a review at iTunes!! Let me know why you love this podcast.

Today is Part 2 of my conversation with Brandy Traylor.  We chat about the importance of being in a bible study, and Brandy shares with us an exciting new way to make bible study easy for everyone.  The Coffeehouse, set to open virtually early October 2021, and as a member you will have access to on-demand bible studies written by women who get you. As well as easy-to-follow study guides to help transform your life, and relevant monthly specials that meet you right where you are at.  At the Coffeehouse, you can decide to do the bible studies independently, or I would suggest getting a group of friends together and diving into God's word together. She Laughs Ministries online Bible Study Coffeehouse is a place to sip on God's Word so your soul can be filled. There you can find rest from the demands of day-to-day life, live each day more fulfilled, and receive support and encouragement from women just like you in the Coffeehouse community.  Click here to head over to She Laughs Ministries page and check out the Coffeehouse to get more information.   CONNECT WITH ME:Facebook:  Connecting in the ChaosInstagram :  @heather.onckenEmail : heather@connectinginthechaos.comClick here for my free guide Simple Ways to be Intentional in our Friendships.Click here to leave me a review at iTunes!! Let me know why you love this podcast.CONNECT WITH BRANDY:Website: She Laughs Ministries :  The CoffeehouseInstagram: @shelaughsministriesFacebook: shelaugh

Today is Part One of my conversation with Brandy Traylor, and we are talking all about prayer.  Have you ever wondered that if prayer is one of the greatest tools given to us, why don't we use it more when it comes to our friendships?  We know that prayer moves the heart of God, but it is something that most of us don't practice regularly in our friendships.  We may throw out an occasional "I will pray for you" in passing, or on a Facebook post, but are you really? Are you really praying for that friend?  No judgment here my friend, I am the first to admit my guilt over saying I would pray for someone, and then never following through on my good intention to pray for the friend.   In my conversation with Brandy, we chat about the importance of prayer, and why for many of us it can be hard to go to our friends and ask them to pray for us.  Sometimes our need for prayer can make us feel venerable. We all like to portray that we have it all together even though if we are honest with ourselves, we don't. Sharing with our friends our struggles or issues that we need prayer on can sometimes expose areas in our life that we would like to keep hidden from others.  We know we were not designed to walk through our struggles alone, and one of the greatest gifts we have been given is the ability to bring our struggles and concerns to our Heavenly Father. We also talk about how it can also feel awkward initially to reach out to a friend and ask if we can pray for them.  For most if this is not something regularly practiced, we can struggle with this feeling awkward and uncomfortable. The good news is the more we reach out to pray for our friends, the easier asking to pray for them becomes.   Whether it's praying together, praying for your friend in your own prayer time, or asking a friend to pray for you, prayer is a powerful way to strengthen our faith, and a great way to be there for your friends.   I pray that this conversation leaves you encouraged by the power of prayer and the power of coming alongside friends and regularly praying for each other.   My challenge for you after you listen to this episode is two things:  First, reach out to a friend and find out how you can pray for them today and second, reach out to a friend and share something that you are carrying and to ask them to lift it up in prayer for you.  Please let me know how it goes!  CONNECT WITH ME:Facebook:  Connecting in the ChaosInstagram :  @heather.onckenEmail : heather@connectinginthechaos.comClick here for my free guide Simple Ways to be Intentional in our Friendships.Click here to leave me a review at iTunes!! Let me know why you love this podcast.CONNECT WITH BRANDY:Website: She Laughs Ministries :  The CoffeehouseInstagram: @shelaughsministriesFacebook: shelaugh

With the beginning of the school year in full swing, and most of our kids being back to in-person learning, I thought that this would be the perfect time to have a conversation about our kids and growing their friendships.  We all want our kids to be a good friend to others, but do we just cross our fingers and hope they turn out to be a great friend?  Of course not.  We all want the child who is kind, inclusive, compassionate and friendly.  We can all agree that none of us wants our child leaving other kids out, gossiping, or being a bully at school.  But how do we make sure that our child grows up with the strong character traits that will make them a great friend?  I don't have all of the answers, but my guest today can hopefully shed some light on this topic for all of us and help us better teach our kids to be a good friend. My special guest today is Pastor Julie Pratt.  Pastor Julie is the Family Life Pastor at Harvest Chapel, located in Sandwich, Illinois.  I have known Pastor Julie for about a year and I knew that when it came time to talk about our kids and the ways that we can help to raise them to be a great friend, she was the person I wanted to have this conversation with. Pastor Julie shares with us about intentional parenting.  We just can't just leave to chance that our kids are going to make the right decisions without us guiding and teaching them why it is important that they are a good friend to others.  If they don't learn early how to be a good friend, as they grow, they won't have the foundation to build upon.   Our kids have been entrusted to us by God and it is important that we parent them with intentionality.  Part of that intentional parenting is shaping our children's character.  We talk about the different character traits that a great friend has and how it is never too early to start modeling and sharing with our children the importance of being a good friend to others. CONNECT WITH ME:Facebook:  Connecting in the ChaosInstagram :  @heather.onckenEmail : heather@connectinginthechaos.comClick here for my free guide Simple Ways to be Intentional in our Friendships.Click here to leave me a review at iTunes!! Let me know why you love this podcast.

With the rate of infertility growing and people being more open about sharing their journey through infertility, the chances of you having a friend experiencing this is probably high.  Going through infertility can be emotionally taxing on someone.  If we have not walked the road of infertility ourselves, then we may not know how to best support our friend, or we may be hesitant to show up for them because we are concerned we may do or say the the wrong thing. Today, I have my sweet friend Becka Butler with me.  Becka shares her journey through infertility and gives simple practical ways we can show up for our friends who are going through this challenging time.  CONNECT WITH ME:Facebook:  Connecting in the ChaosInstagram :  @heather.onckenEmail : heather@connectinginthechaos.comClick here for my free guide Simple Ways to be Intentional in our Friendships.Click here to leave me a review at iTunes!! Let me know why you love this podcast.

Can we disagree or have different views, and still be friends? I want the answer to this question to be, YES!! Of course we can disagree, and still be friends.  Unfortunately, what I have seen taking place throughout the last year and a half tells me that a lot of us think the answer to this is actually,  no.  The last 18 months has given us a lot of opportunities to have different views and opinions with those closest to us.  With those different views and different opinions, it creates opportunities for a friendship to be strained, or in some cases, the friendship to be completely broken. Today, my friend Mary Ann Griffith and I talk about how it is possible to have different views, and opinions and still remain friends.  Mary Ann is a licensed therapist, and she helps us tackle this topic.  I think each of us can think of at least one friendship that has been strained due to having different views, but this conversation will encourage you that just because you have a different view doesn't mean your friendship is over.  I found this conversation so helpful for myself in my own relationships, so I have no doubt it will be helpful for every single person who is listening. CONNECT WITH MARY ANN:Instagram: therenewalsessionPodcast: The Renewal Session CONNECT WITH ME:Facebook:  Connecting in the ChaosInstagram :  @heather.onckenEmail : heather@connectinginthechaos.comClick here for my free guide Simple Ways to be Intentional in our Friendships.Click here to leave me a review at iTunes!! Let me know why you love this podcast.

Did you miss me?  I took the last month off, but boy does it feel good to be back!  In this episode, I give a little recap about my time off.  After homeschooling the girls last year, my husband and I made the decision to send them back to public school this year.  I share a bit about what lead to that decision and how I am still struggling with questioning whether I made the right decision.  Also, I share about how I took last month to intentionally learn what it looks like for me to try to "rest."  When I say "rest," I am not talking about sleep, which also is very important, but mental rest.  What I am referring to is taking time to do the things that refuel and recharge you.  For me, as someone who is so busy taking care of everyone and doing, doing, doing, "rest" is not something that come naturally to me.  This last month, I was able to dive in a bit to see what exactly helps to refuel and recharge me.  I think that the most important thing I learned is that "rest" is something that I need to weave into the rhythm of my everyday life.  It should not be something that I try to do when I find myself completely empty and depleted.  I do not have it all figured out yet, but what I do know is that when I take the time to recharge and to refuel, it not only benefits me, but it also benefits all of the people that I do life with.  When I am in a better place,  it is a win for us all!Before I wrap up this episode, I take a few minutes to talk about something that has been very heavy on my heart.  I talk about the tension and division that a lot of us are feeling over the COVID vaccination.  I do not get into a lot of depth in this episode on this topic because next week I will have my friend Mary Ann back with me to unpack this topic a bit more.  I just want to encourage you that where ever you stand on the issue, we should not be fighting each other over it.  Our friendships are too important to be torn apart by whether or not someone feels the same way we do about COVID, masks, or the vaccine.  I want to remind you that we have a real enemy out there who wants nothing more than to divide and destroy us and to destroy our relationships.  Right now, he is loving the amount of tension and division that is going on amongst us, even in our own families.   Although it may seem like our battle is against those who oppose our view, let me remind you that it is not.  In Ephesians, Paul writes that our battle is not against flesh and blood, but it is against the spiritual powers of evil.  Satan wants nothing more than to cause division and separate people from each other.  We see and feel the division in our Country, the division in our local community, the division in our families and the division in our relationships & friendships.  That division is the devil's goal, and far too many of us are playing right into his hand. Let us not lose focus on our calling: to LOVE GOD & LOVE PEOPLE.  The enemy wants to distract us and bring discord amongst us to get us off track from our mission and our calling.  Next week, Mary Ann and I will dive deeper into how we can love our friends, especially those that we disagree with on important issues.  Hopefully, we will give you some insight and tips on how to love our friends and love them well, even when we don't have the same opinions and views.  CONNECT WITH ME:Facebook:  Connecting in the ChaosInstagram :  @heather.onckenEmail : heather@connectinginthechaos.comClick here to leave me a review at iTunes!! Let me know why you love this podcast.

This episode is all about how to create a Friendship Bucket List and why they are important to create.  I also talk about how we can take the great ideas we have for our friendships and make them a reality.  I know that so many of us have great ideas and plans we would love to make happen with our friends, but sadly, if you are anything like me, I struggle with putting all of my great ideas into action.  I give you some ideas of what a Friendship Bucket List could look like and then some steps to make them happen.  A Friendship Bucket List or Friendship Goals, whatever you may want to call it, gives us things to look forward to and also helps us to prioritize our friendships.  Life is crazy busy and unless we take the time to slow down and be intentional with checking the items off of our bucket list, many great ideas and plans will never become a reality.  I hope that this episode inspires you to make your own Friendship Bucket List and start planning out what things you are going to make a priority this year.  Let's have some fun!  CONNECT WITH ME:Facebook:  Connecting in the ChaosInstagram :  @heather.onckenEmail : heather@connectinginthechaos.comClick here for my free guide Simple Ways to be Intentional in our Friendships.Click here to leave me a review at iTunes!! Let me know why you love this podcast.

On this episode, I am joined with my friend, Brandy Traylor, and we are talking about being left out.  No matter how old we are, or how many times we have been left out by our friends over the course of our life, it hurts.  When we are left out, for most of us, it triggers those insecurities that scream at us telling us that we are not "insert your own insecurity here" enough to be included.  Each of us wants to know that we are loved, valued, and important, and when we are left out, sometimes we interpret that as we are not loved, valued or important.  Brandy and I talk about what it has looked like for both of us to be left out at various times with our friendships.  We also discuss the difference between being intentionally left out and being unintentionally left out and how to identify the difference in each situation.  We talk about how we can shift out focus off of feeling that our worth is found in people, and shift it to knowing that, with Christ, we are enough.  People are going to let us down and hurt us.  That is part of living in a sinful world.  When we learn to stop letting other people's actions define our worth, that is when we find true freedom. CONNECT WITH ME:Facebook:  Connecting in the ChaosInstagram :  @heather.onckenEmail : heather@connectinginthechaos.comClick here for my free guide Simple Ways to be Intentional in our Friendships.Click here to leave me a review at iTunes!! Let me know why you love this podcast.

At some point in our life we will have a friend who is pregnant.  This is a practical episode packed with do's and don'ts to support the pregnant friend in your life.  CONNECT WITH ME:Facebook:  Connecting in the ChaosInstagram :  @heather.onckenEmail : heather@connectinginthechaos.comClick here for my free guide Simple Ways to be Intentional in our Friendships.Click here to leave me a review at iTunes!! Let me know why you love this podcast.

If I were to ask you, "Do you want to change the world?"  I think your response would be "YES!!"  We all want to make an impact and make a difference.  What if I told you that we all have the ability to make difference in someone's day?  Each of us has the power to make a difference in someone's life by simply being intentional. In this episode, I have my good friend Abby Emert joining me.  This amazing woman as taught me all about the importance and power of being intentional.  When we talked, Abby shared about when she was growing up and how she learned to be intentional.   She learned by watching her mom being intentional in her friendships.  She watched her mom always take the extra step with making friends feel loved and important.  When Abby saw the fruit that came from her mom's actions of being intentional, she knew that it was something that she wanted to carry on with her friendships as she grew up.Abby talks about how even though she is a busy mom and wife, she makes time to be intentional.  Sometimes, we overthink and overcomplicate how easy it can be to be intentional.  It can be as simple as dropping off a little gift or treat for a friend, but can also be just  sending a text to let a friend know she is loved and you are praying for her. We wrap up the episode with Abby giving us some simple ways we can start to be intentional in our friendships today.  Not everyone is wired this way, but when we start small with trying to build intentionality into our daily routine, each of us can begin to build stronger, more meaningful friendships.SHOWNOTES: The Power of Being Intentional CONNECT WITH ME:Facebook:  Connecting in the ChaosInstagram :  @heather.onckenEmail : heather@connectinginthechaos.comClick here for my free guide Simple Ways to be Intentional in our Friendships.Click here to leave me a review at iTunes!! Let me know why you love this podcast. 

Today, I have my friend Bailey T. Hurley with me and we are talking all about friendship breakups.  Bailey is a Friendship Coach and I knew she was the perfect person to have this conversation with.  I know it doesn't sound like a fun topic, but the truth is we have all walked through a friendship breakup at some point in our lives.  Bailey shares her expertise on how to navigate through a breakup and come out healthier on the other side.  She talks about how important it is that, even if we choose to not continue a friendship with the person, we still reconcile with the person.  It important when a friendship is coming to an end to have the opportunity to talk it out together, have the chance to apologize, and to hear the other person's side of the story.  It may seem easier to just walk away from the friendship without having the chance to talk it out or get closure, but Bailey stresses that making the effort to have the conversation with that person to talk it through will help to make things less awkward in the future when you run into your old friend at the grocery store.Bailey also encourages us that just because a friendship has ended does not mean that there is something wrong with us.  Most friendships don't last forever, and as our seasons of life change, so do our friendships.  After walking through a friendship breakup, allow yourself to grieve the loss of that friend and talk it through with a trusted friend and/or counselor/therapist.  Just because one friendship has ended in a breakup doesn't mean that all of your friendships are destined for failure. A little more about my friend Bailey T. Hurley:Bailey T. Hurley is everyone's favorite community cheerleader.  Bailey takes simple, creative ideas and turns them into easy rhythms for women to confidently pursue their people, despite their busy schedules. She has written on the topic of friendship for publications like: She Reads Truth, Deeply Rooted, and Grit and Virtue. Bailey holds an MA in Leadership from Denver Seminary.  She leads a community group with her family, serving twenty men and women every week in their home.  She also hosts her own friendship workshops for the ultimate friend date experience.  She currently lives in Denver, CO with her husband, Tim, and kiddos: Hunter and Liv.  Click Here for more information on Bailey's Friendship Coaching Sessions.  CONNECT WITH BAILEY:Instagram: @bailey.t.hurleyCONNECT WITH ME:Facebook:  Connecting in the ChaosInstagram :  @heather.onckenEmail : heather@connectinginthechaos.comClick here for my free guide Simple Ways to be Intentional in our Friendships.Click here to leave me a review at iTunes!! Let me know why you love this podcast. SHOWNOTES: Friendship Breakups

Today, I have Ashley with me and we are talking about how we can do a better job being there for a friend who is grieving the loss of a baby.  Ashley's daughter, Bridget, was stillborn at twenty-four weeks gestation and Ashley knows first-hand what it is like to walk through the grief of losing a baby.  She shares with us how important friendship is when someone is walking through grief.  When you go through something that is so incredibly traumatic and forced to deal with such a great loss, you really find out who your true friends are.  You find out who is willing to walk with you through the valley and who is willing to sit with you in your grief.  Ashley gives us practical ways we can show up for our friends who are grieving their baby.  She shares with us things that may be helpful to say to a grieving friend and things not to say.  Most of us can get uncomfortable when we have a friend who has experienced this kind of loss because we don't know what to say, or what to do.  Ashley reminds us that the worst thing we can do for a friend walking this road of grief is to not show up or be there for them.  Backing away from our friend during this intensely emotional time because of our discomfort is one of the worst things we can do for our friend.  This interview will help you better learn how to show up and love on that friend who is grieving the loss of their baby. Ashley Opliger is the President and Executive Director of Bridget's Cradles a 501(c)(3) nonprofit organization based in Wichita, Kansas.  Bridget's Cradles donates cradles to over 1,050 hospitals in all 50 states and comforts over 26,000 bereaved families each year. Ashley is married to Matt and they have three children: Bridget (in Heaven), and two sons, Branton and Brenner.   She is a fully-devoted follower of Christ who desires to share the hope of Christ and Heaven with families grieving the loss of a baby.SHOWNOTES: Supporting a Grieving FriendCONNECT WITH ASHLEY:@ashleyopliger @bridgetscradlesCONNECT WITH ME:Facebook:  Connecting in the ChaosInstagram :  @heather.onckenEmail : heather@connectinginthechaos.comClick here for my free guide Simple Ways to be Intentional in our Friendships.Click here to leave me a review at iTunes!! Let me know why you love this podcast. 

On today's episode, I am talking with my new friend Jaclyn Weidner.  Jaclyn is the host of the Ready to Thrive Podcast.  She is also the author of Tangled: A Soul Care Revival Guide, which is 6 week study guide to  help women get to the root of what is keeping them tied up in anxiety, depression, anger, and a whole lot more.  I have loved getting to know Jaclyn better and she brings so much wisdom to our topic today on how to have those crucial conversations (a/k/a hard conversations) with a friend. Nobody likes them.  Everyone dreads them.  They can be awkward and create anxiety going into them, but the reality is that they will come up in our friendships at some point.  We have three choices when we need to have these conversations.  We can ignore them.  We can have them, but handle them poorly.  Or, we can have them, but handle them well.  Jaclyn gives us some great examples of how we can have these crucial conversations and do them in love.   She encourages us to not run from these crucial conversations.  When tough conversations are handled well, we can see the fruit from those conversations in our relationships.  Our friendships can get even stronger when we go through a hard season together and make it to the other side.   CONNECT WITH JACLYN:Instagram: @jaclyn.weidner CONNECT WITH ME:Facebook:  Connecting in the ChaosInstagram :  @heather.onckenEmail : heather@connectinginthechaos.comClick here for my free guide Simple Ways to be Intentional in our Friendships.Click here to leave me a review at iTunes!! Let me know why you love this podcast. 

In today's episode, we are going to dive in and chat about friendships and our expectations.  I know that many of you would say that we should not put expectations on our friends, but the reality is that we do.  We all have certain things that we expect of our friends.  Our expectations can include how we feel our friends should treat us or respond to us, or how much we expect them to be available to us.  We can also have expectations about how often we would want them to reach out and check in on us, or maybe how often we would like to spend time with them in person.  The bottom line is that we all have expectations when it comes to our friendships.   It can be unhealthy in a friendship when either the expectations that we place on others are unrealistic or when we have an expectation that is not clearly communicated to our friend. One sure-fire way to damage a friendship is to have an expectation that goes uncommunicated to the other person.   We cannot expect our friends to read our minds, yet too often, we are surprised when they can't.   If there is some way that a friend is falling short of what your are expecting of them, you need to share it with them.  Give your friend a chance to be aware that an expectation exists and is not being met.  That open communication also gives your friend the chance to either step it up and meet that expectation, or if that expectation is outside of something they can do, then they are able to speak up and let you know that they can't meet that expectation.  Honest and straightforward communication gives you the opportunity to adjust your expectation with that friend and ensure that both of you are on the same page.  When both of you are on the same page with your expectations, those expectations will tend to produce a healthy, flourishing friendship.SHOWNOTES: Friendships & Expectations CONNECT WITH ME:Facebook:  Connecting in the ChaosInstagram :  @heather.onckenEmail : heather@connectinginthechaos.comClick here for my free guide Simple Ways to be Intentional in our Friendships.Click here to leave me a review at iTunes!! Let me know why you love this podcast. 

Summer is HERE!!! Who doesn't love summer?  I have my good friend Kelly on the show again today and we share some simple, practical ways to be intentional this summer with getting together with your friends.  My hope and prayer is that after listening to this episode, you will be excited to find ways to get together this summer and invest in your friendships.  Kelly and I give you 6 ideas of some fun, yet simple ways you can plan a get together today! These ideas also help you get to know your friends better. When we know our friends better, it helps grow and deepen our friendships.  #1. Favorite Things Party: Each guest brings 3 of their "favorite things."  Each friend's favorite thing must remain at the set price limit.  Each friend will write her name on a piece of paper 3 times. When it is time to start the exchange, the first person lets everyone know what her favorite thing is and why, and then she draws 3 names to send her "favorite thing" home with. This continues until all names are drawn and everyone has 3 new favorite items to bring home.#2. Meal Prep Night: We all have to make dinner, so why not kill two birds with one stone. There are a few ways to do this and make it fun and simple. After you select your friends who want to prep some meals with, have everyone pick one meal ( or 2 if you want to make double the meals), the host sends out the list of all  of the ingredients for the recipe, and then each person brings their ingredients to the meal prep night.  Meals for the week . . . done!  #3. Swap Night: Your junk may be your friends' treasures! This is a great way to get some new treasures for free. Who doesn't love free? Get together with some friends and bring a bag of things you want to get rid of and set the goods out for each of your friends to pick through. At the end of the night, whatever has not been claimed as someone's new treasure can then all be put into a bag and someone can be designated to drop it off somewhere donations are accepted.  As my twins say, "sharing is caring!"  #4. Cookbook Club:  This would be such a fun monthly girls' night!  Have everyone order the same cookbook and get together and have each person make something different out of that cookbook.  A week before the meal, the host can send out a text or email with all the recipes each person will be bringing so that you can make sure its balanced.  This could also be fun to do with a dessert cookbook if you want to avoid the formality and complexity of a meal and just enjoy some sweets! #5. Wine Tasting:  Each friend brings a bottle of wine in a paper bag, so no one can see who brought which bottle. The host secretly pours for everyone, not letting the others know whose bottle she is pouring.  After everyone has the opportunity to taste all the wines, then the host has everyone guess who brought which bottle of wine. I would highly suggest that the host supply some type of prize if someone can pair all of the wines with the friend who brought it. #6. Fondue Night: The host provides the fondue and then ask each guest to bring something to dip. Just make sure to confirm what everyone is bringing so everyone doesn't bring the same thing.  Too many strawberries make for a boring night. CONNECT WITH ME:Facebook:  Connecting in the ChaosInstagram :  @heather.onckenEmail : heather@connectinginthechaos.comClick here for my free guide Simple Ways to be Intentional in our Friendships.Click here to leave me a review at iTunes!! Let me know why you love this podcast. 

Today, I have my friend Merritt Onsa with me talking all about how we can do a better job supporting our friends in their dreams.Merritt is a trail guide for the passionate, creative, Christian woman who wants to get over her fear of failure, comparison, and imposter syndrome so she can get moving on her God-shaped dream.  She encourages women to start chasing their dreams and stop wasting time second-guessing themselves, procrastinating, or trying to be perfect.   She feels it is a tragedy when our God-shaped dreams stayed hidden because of our fears and insecurities.  Merritt hosts weekly conversations on The Devoted Dreamers Podcast, talking with Christian women about their dreams, their fears, and how God has transformed their faith through the process of attempting courageous endeavors.  She was the perfect person to have this conversation with and I know that you will agree after you listen.During our conversation, we talk about why it is so important to support our friends in their dreams.  Starting something new can be scary and overwhelming.  It is so important to be able to point your friend back to their "why" when things get hard during their journey and they may want to quit.  Your support and encouragement of your friend's dream means more than you know.  Showing support can be as simple as just asking your friend about how it's going with the dream they are pursuing or if there is anything you can do to help.  She also urges us to make sure to take time to celebrate our friend in both her small and big successes as she moves forward following her dream. We also talk a little bit about what to do if you are the person who is pursuing your dream and it feels like there is nobody there supporting you.  Don't worry,  there is some encouragement out there for you.  We encourage you to be brave and to chat with your friends to let them know what you need from them.  Sometimes people don't give us the support we need because they don't realize that we need it.  Just you making your friends aware of how important it is that they show interest in what you are doing may be all you need to do to turn the lack of support into the support and encouragement you need.  We also discuss ways to create new circles of support if, after talking to your friends, you are still lacking the support from your existing friends that you need. This conversation is encouraging for both the person who wants to know how to support her friend in a dream and for the dreamer who is looking for ways to find support as she pursues her dream.  You won't want to miss this conversation. CONNECT WITH MERRITT:Facebook:   Devoted Dreamers   Instagram:  @merrittjo Website:  merrittonsa.comCONNECT WITH ME:Facebook:  Connecting in the ChaosInstagram :  @heather.onckenEmail : heather@connectinginthechaos.comClick here for my free guide Simple Ways to be Intentional in our Friendships.If you are loving this podcast and its helping you with your friendships, would you head on over to iTunes or your favorite podcast app and leave a rating and review?Click here to leave me a review at iTunes!!  Let me know why you love this podcast. 

Today, I am joined with Brianna Heida.  Brianna shares her story with us about her journey with struggling with a chronic illness and how her friendships have helped her in this very difficult journey. Brianna shares some great insight on how, in general, we are very good at meeting needs when our friends have an acute illness or have surgery.  We fix a meal, drop by for a visit, or send flowers, but what happens when there is no getting better?  What happens when the diagnosis that our friend has been given means there is no getting better on this side of eternity?  How do we show support when this is our friend's new normal?We talk about how following the first month of  Brianna's diagnosis, she had people who were doing all of the appropriate gestures: dropping of meals, stopping by for a visit or texting to check in on her regularly.  But after the first month, Brianna noticed that most of her support went silent and she was left to navigate her new normal with little support.  We talk about how we believe that most people have good intentions to be there and be a support to a friend struggling, but the busyness of life becomes a thief.  We become distracted in our busyness and our great intentions to be a supportive friend slowly fades away. Finally, Brianna shares with us some great ideas that we can put into practice for the friends in our lives who are struggling with a chronic illness.  Her suggestions are super practical and have the ability to have an amazing impact on your friends day.  Don't miss this episode if you are looking for ways to show up in your friends life who is struggling with a chronic illness.  CONNECT WITH BRIANNA: Facebook: briannaheida Instagram: @briannaheidaWebsite: paintedprayers.orgCONNECT WITH ME:Facebook:  Connecting in the ChaosInstagram :  heather.onckenEmail : heather@connectinginthechaos.comClick here for my free guide Simple Ways to be Intentional in our Friendships.If you are loving this podcast and its helping you with your friendships, would you head on over to iTunes or your favorite podcast app and leave a rating and review?Click here to leave me a review at iTunes!!  Let me know why you love this podcast. 

On this weeks episode, I have a very special guest.  My guest is licensed therapist Mary Ann Griffith. Mary Ann helps us dive into the importance of discerning our friendships.One thing we can all agree on is that we all are BUSY!  It's a common theme among most people these days.  Since the amount of time we all have to give to our friendships is limited, we need to choose to pour into relationships that have the potential to be life-giving, not life-sucking.  We only have so much bandwidth, so it's crucial that before getting "thick" with a friend,  we evaluate our friendships.Mary Ann breaks down how to take closer look at our friendships and to see if our friendships are what she calls "green light, yellow light, or red light" friendships.Green light friends are the lifegiving friendships that will grow and bloom into beautiful relationships.Yellow light friends are those friendships  you with whom need to proceed with caution. Some examples of these are friends who seem to gossip about everyone, or friends who seem to rotate through a BFF regularly.Last, we discuss the red light friends. These friendships have little to no boundaries and can be manipulative.  These friendships, without redirection and establishing healthy boundaries, will end up being toxic.We also chat about how each one of us has a "story" that plays a part of the kind of friend we are. Unfortunately, most of us at some point in growing up developed some unhealthy traits that we bring into our friendships that can make us a "yellow light or red light" friend.  Mary Ann shares about how sometimes if a "yellow light or red light" friend is loved well and has good friends who are willing to teach them healthy boundaries and how healthy friendships should function, they can go from a "yellow light or red light" to a "green light" friend.  If we can create healthy boundaries in our friendships, it gives us the agility to protect how much we give of ourselves to our differently lighted friends and we are able to protect our time and our own emotional well-being. You won't want to miss this episode and all the wisdom that is packed into it.  My prayer is that it will help so many of us to do a better job having discernment in our friendships.CONNECT WITH MARY ANN:Instagram: therenewalsessionCONNECT WITH ME:Facebook:  Connecting in the ChaosInstagram :  heather.onckenEmail : heather@connectinginthechaos.comClick here for my free guide Simple Ways to be Intentional in our Friendships.If you are loving this podcast and its helping you with your friendships, would you head on over to iTunes or your favorite podcast app and leave a rating and review?Click here to leave me a review at iTunes!!  Let me know why you love this podcast. 

This episode, I have my friend Kelly Brens joining me and we are talking about all things Mother's Day.We take some time to recognize that being a mom is hard, like really hard. One of the greatest gifts that we have been given is our friends who we get to experience motherhood with.  They give us the encouragement we need and are there to let us know we are not alone in our struggles with being a mom. I can say for sure that my friends make me a better mom. We also want to recognize that although so many of us look forward to celebrating Mother's Day, there are many women who dread Mother's Day.We want this episode to bring an awareness and sensitivity to those women around you that may struggle with this day.It may be a friend who has lost her mom or lost a child.  It may be a friend who is struggling with infertility or is just still single and desperately wants to be a mom and Mother's Day reminds her of the reality that she isn't a mom.  You probably also have a friend who is a single mom. She could use some encouragement to know that she is doing a great job because she may not have anyone in her life to give her that right now. We will also give you 5 simple and practical ways you can be thoughtful and reach out and celebrate your mom friends on Mother's Day.  These tips can also help you let your friend who may be struggling know that you see her and you know that this day is not easy for her. These are great ways to be intentional and start showing up for your friends today!     1. Send a  handwritten note of encouragement 2. Flowers. Go to your local grocery store and get a few inexpensive bouquets of flowers.Take the bouquets apart and make a couple of small bouquets from the mix of flowers. Either take tissue paper and wrap the flowers up and deliver or put them in a cut little  Mason jar. 3. A treat you can bake. Is there something that you bake that everyone loves?  Whip up acouple batches and leave some treats on your friends' porch. What a treat it will be for  them when they see your sweet treat awaiting them!4. Something to pamper her.  A bath bomb, shower bomb, lip scrub or anything that is a luxury that  we moms usually never treat ourselves to.  If it would be a treat for you, then it will probably be a treat for her too.5. Devotional or Journal.  Pick out a cute journal or give her a copy of your favorite devotional or book.  We hope that this episode helps by giving you some fun, simple ideas to go out and let those friends in your life know how loved they are on Mother's Day and that you would not be the woman you are without their presence in your life. CONNECT WITH ME:Facebook:  Connecting in the ChaosInstagram :  heather.onckenEmail : heather@connectinginthechaos.comClick here for my free guide Simple Ways to be Intentional in our Friendships.If you are loving this podcast and its helping you with your friendships, would you head on over to iTunes or your favorite podcast app and leave a rating and review?Click here to leave me a review at iTunes!!  Let me know why you love this podcast. 

Most of us don't have to look very far to find a  friend who is struggling with depression, but most of us also don't know the best way we can help and support that friend. Today, I invited a guest on to help us tackle how we can show up in our friends' lives who are struggling with depression. My guest today is Jackie Randall Lentz.  Jackie counsels people who are struggling with depression and has also struggled with depression  and anxiety herself.   This episode is filled with practical ways that we can help show up and support that friend who is struggling with depression. Jackie talks about how she has struggled with depression, and that just her friends showing up and being "present" was enough to let her know she was not alone.She also talks about how much it meant to her to have her friends praying both with her and for her.   Sometimes too often, we forget how powerful prayer is and how much of an impact it can make on our friends lives. Jackie explains how important it is for us to have empathy and to not minimize why our friend is feeling the way she is.  Your friend needs to feel like she can be honest and be herself around if you minimize how she is feeling, she if far less likely she is to show up as herself.Your friend needs to know that you are a safe place that she can go that is free of judgement and full of empathy and love.  Jackie also lets us know some really important things to avoid saying or doing that may hurt or detrimentally impact a friend struggling with depression. This episode is filled with so much insight and I hope that after you are finished listening to it, you feel better equipped to  love and show up for your friend who may be struggling.  Since we were not meant to do this life alone, it is so important that we learn ways to show up and love on our friends who are struggling with depression.   CONNECT WITH JACKIE: www.beautifulmindscoaching.comwww.facebook.com/JackieRandallLentzCONNECT WITH ME:Facebook:  Connecting in the ChaosInstagram :  heather.onckenEmail : heather@connectinginthechaos.comClick here for my free guide Simple Ways to be Intentional in our Friendships.If you are loving this podcast and its helping you with your friendships, would you head on over to iTunes or your favorite podcast app and leave a rating and review?Click here to leave me a review at iTunes!!  Let me know why you love this podcast. 

In this episode,  we dig into why friendships should be a "standard feature" and not just an "optional feature or upgrade" in our lives.  These days, so many of us treat our friendships and being intentional in our friendships like our friends are just an upgrade or add-on to our lives, rather than seeing them an essential standard feature.  We need our friends to join us to get from point A to point B, because without friendships, when we get to point B, we realize that we are alone when we get there.  God created us to be in community, and when we are not living connected like we were created, we are not living life to our greatest potential. I will talk a bit about being disconnected and how that disconnection can negatively impact our health and our happiness.  Being disconnected in our friendships can effect us physically, emotionally, mentally, and spiritually.  Loneliness, which has slowly crept into more than 50% of our lives, is the obvious result of being disconnected in our friendships.  Science has shown that loneliness puts us at an increased risk for depression, anxiety and difficulty sleeping.  I don't know about you, but in the last year, I have experienced all of those symptoms.Finally, I will remind you that being connected with your friends will enhance and improve your quality of life.  Being connected to our friends can assist in being both happier and healthier.  Our true friends call us out on our issues, push us to live up to our fullest potential, celebrate our highs, and weep with us in our lows.  Our friends make us better people.  When we live connected, we thrive, and that is my prayer for all of you who listen. Books Mentioned:The Art of Friendship: Creating and Keeping Relationships that MatterAuthor: Kim Wier  CONNECT WITH ME:Facebook:  Connecting in the ChaosInstagram :  heather.onckenEmail : heather@connectinginthechaos.comClick here for my free guide Simple Ways to be Intentional in our Friendships.If you are loving this podcast and its helping you with your friendships, would you head on over to iTunes or your favorite podcast app and leave a rating and review?Click here to leave me a review at iTunes!!  Let me know why you love this podcast. 

On this episode, I have a guest who also happens to be a very good friend of mine. My guest & friend, Kelly Brens, shares my passion in the importance of building and cultivating deeper friendships, despite all of the chaos that life throws at us.Kelly works in the mental health field and sees firsthand how a lack of deep connections in relationships and friendships can negatively impact people's mental health.Today we are talking about Promptings in our Friendships.  Kelly shares with us what promptings are and how we can do a better job of not only listening for them, but also following through on them when God puts something on our hearts.  We also talk about the fruit we see not only in our friends lives but also our own life when we start listening for those promptings and take action to actually follow through on them.  There is often huge disconnect  between (1) having a thought and (2) actually following through on putting that thought or idea into action.  We all think about our friends, but then we get too busy or something distracts us and the moment to act passes.  This episode will encourage you to not just stop at the thought of doing something God has placed on your heart for a friend, but making sure to follow through to actually do it!  This is a great episode with practical takeaways that we can start practicing in our everyday lives today!!  CONNECT WITH ME:Facebook:  Connecting in the ChaosInstagram :  heather.onckenEmail : heather@connectinginthechaos.comClick here for my free guide Simple Ways to be Intentional in our Friendships.If you are loving this podcast and its helping you with your friendships, would you head on over to iTunes or your favorite podcast app and leave a rating and review?Click here to leave me a review at iTunes!!  Let me know why you love this podcast. 

This episode is to help us take a look at ourselves and look at some ways that our behavior can impact the depth of our friendships.This episode will touch on the importance of showing up as our true, authentic selves. We should ask ourselves this question - Are we doing our part in showing up as our real selves, or are we showing up as a version of ourselves that we feel that we need to show up as to be accepted? Friendship is about cultivating genuine relationships with people. If they see you every time you get together and  you "have it all together," they will think you are good. When we present ourselves to our friends as this "put-together masterpiece," that is not you being real. When we present ourselves this way, we become something that nobody can relate to.  In your friendships, show up as the real you. Show people that you do not have it all together. Show them your struggles and your imperfections. Show them that you are real because it will form a connection.  A REAL connection.We talk about how its easy to point the finger at how our friends are letting us down or not showing up for us in the way we wish they would. We are going to take a hard look at ourselves and ask the question - Are you being the friend to others that you would like that friend to be to you? Are you showing up in your friends' lives the way that you desire your friends to show up in yours?  Be the friend you want others to be to you.Lastly, are you running to these friends to fill a void that only Jesus can fill?  Yes, Jesus has created you with the need for connection with other people, but He never meant for it to replace His place in your life. Is He your number one?  Are you are putting expectations on your friends to fill something in you that only God can fill. If you are trying to fill that God-shaped hole with something other than God alone, you will continue to end up feeling empty, disappointed, and lonely. God gave us friends, but he still wants to be the number one in our lives.CONNECT WITH ME:Facebook:  Connecting in the ChaosInstagram :  heather.onckenEmail : heather@connectinginthechaos.comClick here for my free guide Simple Ways to be Intentional in our Friendships.If you are loving this podcast and its helping you with your friendships, would you head on over to iTunes or your favorite podcast app and leave a rating and review?Click here to leave me a review at iTunes!!  Let me know why you love this podcast. 

Welcome to Connecting in the Chaos.  I am so excited to begin this journey of building deeper, more meaningful friendships that I think we are all craving these days. Making, growing, and maintaining friendships as an adult is much harder than I think many of us admit.  Our friends are one of the greatest gifts that God has given us, yet many of us spend most of life too distracted in the chaos of life to enjoy the gift that friendship is.  God created us for not only for connection with HIM but also for us to be connected to others. Most of us go through life trying to do this journey without much connection and wonder why on the inside we feel so broken and lonely. It's because it's not how we were made to live. We are not living our life to our fullest when we are  not connected to Jesus and others. I pray that this podcast encourages and motivates you to live with intent when it comes to your friendships.This episode is short and sweet.  It's a little bit about me and my passion for starting this podcast. It will also give you a little peek at what your can expect and most importantly why you should listen. Books mentioned:Live In Grace  Walk in Love    By: Bob Goff CONNECT WITH ME:Facebook:  Connecting in the ChaosInstagram :  heather.onckenEmail : heather@connectinginthechaos.comClick here for my free guide Simple Ways to be Intentional in our Friendships.If you are loving this podcast and its helping you with your friendships, would you head on over to itunes or your favorite podcast app and leave a rating and review?Click here to leave me a review at iTunes!!  Let me know why you love this podcast.