Deceptively Fast with Seth Payne

Seth and his guest and former teammate, Drew Hodgdon, discuss the Manti Te'o documentary that's streaming on Netflix. There are some crazy new twists in the story, but Seth and Drew aren't falling for docu-tactics that try to make you feel bad for everybody involved. There's still plenty of blame to go around on this one, and anybody who tries to make you feel bad for laughing is a humorless goon.

Seth and Drew contemplate whether they should try the Panchakarma cleanse that had Aaron Rodgers alternatively vomiting, butt lubing, and bleeding for 12 straight days.  Seth Payne is a retired NFL player who now co-hosts a morning radio show in Houston. He also owns the health and fitness website FitJoint.com Drew Hodgdon was a teammate of Seth's in Houston who is currently a captain of industry.

Seth and his friend, Drew Hodgdon, discuss the scientific theories for why human animals try, and very frequently fail, to be monogamous. Ball size is surprisingly a factor. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Peyton and Eli had Tom Brady on the Monday Night Football Manningcast last week, and Seth and Drew were excited about a few things they heard. QB sneaks, cold weather, red zone philosophy, and why physicality still matters.  See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Seth and Drew talk about how the Ravens honored Michael K. Williams. La'el Collins does three of the dumbest things ever done in a drug test. Seth and Drew list the behaviors they currently practice that one day will be the source of shame to their great grandchildren with their more evolved values. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Seth Payne and his old Texans teammate Drew Hodgdon talk about how Trevor Lawrence and Tyrod Taylor looked this weekend. Seth tries to convince Drew that it's okay to celebrate not being the worst team in the NFL, and then they try to figure out if they could eat like Frenchmen.  See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

We started out talking about Tom Brady's assertion that the NFL does too much to prevent big hits, and ended up discussing the Black Death of the 1300s. These two things have nothing to do with each other. Presumably.  See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Seth and Drew discuss the anonymous agent survey by Ben Standig of The Athletic, during which Drew basically calls Seth a beta male for his approach to NFLPA negotiations. They also weigh in on Jerry Jones, Urban Meyer, the NIL landscape, and more. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Seth and Drew Hodgdon discuss the release of Tim Tebow, Tony Romo's broadcasting career arc, and whether Seth should buy a private jet. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Seth and Drew discuss episode 1 of Hard Knocks, which looks like a departure from the standard Hard Knocks formula of following around a bunch of bubble guys with inspiring backstories. The Cowboys have star appeal and HBO is gonna use it: Dak Prescott, Ezekiel Elliott, Jerry Jones...they're all here. Seth is a sucker for it, while Drew is more skeptical. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Seth Payne's personal sports hell has been trying to figure out what's going on with Deshaun Watson and the Texans, while his old teammate Drew Hodgdon has been living in Charlotte, blissfully detached from the drama. Seth gets him up to speed. They also discuss what the appropriate level of man spreading is in business environments.  See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Aaron Rodgers wants out of Green Bay. Is he justified or is he being a diva? Seth and Drew Discuss. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Seth and Drew try to figure out if OneTaste, a sexuality-focused wellness education company that focused on the female orgasm, was the cult that some people allege it was or just a shady business model. You can listen to the whole episode in 30 minutes, or the amount of time it would take to complete two female orgasm sessions with OneTaste. You'll understand after you listen. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Usually "middle age" means 45-60 years old, but the true median age of men in America is 37. To find out how these median aged men feel about their health as they start the back 9 of their lives, Men's Health surveyed hundreds of 37 year old men. My buddy Drew Hodgdon and I are a bit past 37, but we went ahead and measured ourselves against the oldest of the millennials. Seth Payne is a retired NFL player who spent 10 years playing for the Jaguars and Texans. He now hosts a sports radio show in Houston. Drew Hodgdon played collegiately at Arizona State and went on to play center for the Texans.  See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Seth and Drew discuss the dreariness of working from home, how Bhad Babie can inspire us all, and get up to speed on Deshaun Watson. Then Seth visits with author Larry Olmsted (31:00), author of the book, Fans: How Watching Sports Makes Us Happier, Healthier, and More Understanding.  See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Seth and his former teammate Drew Hodgdon discuss J.J. Watt's surprise decision to take his talents to the desert. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Seth discovers yet another new thing that makes him feel like Grandpa Simpson: Top Shot virtual sports cards. He and Drew discuss the legitimacy of Top Shot and whether it'll survive the pandemic. They then discuss why height and 40 times are way overrated in the NFL.   See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

My friend and former co-host from the morning show, Paul Gallant, joins me to explain what's going on with Russell Wilson in Seattle. Paul hosts the morning show on the Seahawks flag station, and he also has a weekly show with Pete Carroll during the season. He breaks down the situation with the Seahawks, and we also play a game of Who's More Disgruntled? Seth Payne played in the NFL for ten years. He now hosts a radio show and this podcast. You can follow him on Twitter and Instagram @SethCPayne. Follow Paul Gallant on Twitter and Instagram @GallantSays. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Seth and Drew discuss Tiger Woods' car crash, with Seth displaying some kind of peculiar cynical optimism, and Drew weighing in with his experience as a surgical sales rep. Seth admits he doesn't know what "meta" means. Seth has a theory that quarterbacks have become more diva-like because front offices have grown more analytical. Seth and Drew evaluate whether they are living by the code of some random blogger. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Seth and Drew discuss what type of NFL owner Jeff Bezos would be; Why on earth would OU receiver Spencer Jones fight a cauliflower-eared person; Drew shares a fight story; Fernando Tatis potentially owes $30 million to a curious business model; Kim and Kanye -- splitsville; Drew finds out that Larry King died. Seth Payne is a former NFL player who now talks a lot. Follow him on Twitter and Instagram @SethCPayne See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Seth's friend Drew joins him, victorious after he dominated his ankle surgery. Seth explains why the Texans weren't gonna string out J.J. Watt's release; Where should J.J. sign in free agency;  The Texans don't get enough credit for at least being a non-violent cult; The three habits of healthy people. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

In this episode I am joined by Brett Kollmann, who makes his living breaking down NFL film on YouTube. He's somewhat of a pioneer in that regard, and wicked smart. He is also, sadly, a Texans fan. We did this interview on the day that J.J. Watt announced his departure from the team, so we spent a good deal of time feeling sorry for ourselves on this episode. In between fits of depression, we break down what makes Deshaun Watson so special and where Watt might end up next season. Seth Payne played defensive tackle in the NFL for a decade. You can follow him on Instagram and Twitter @SethCPayne  See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

What might Tom Brady have said to Tyrann Mathieu that the Honeybadger wouldn't repeat on social media? Seth and Drew recount times they've offended football players' delicate ears with insults they had thought were NBD; Tom Brady is your Executive of the Year, both this year and likely next; Drew basks in his correct Super Bowl prediction; Seth realizes his mom probably knew more about his teenage antics than she let on; The oddity that was the 1-900 number.   See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Seth gives his instant reaction to the Super Bowl, then he and Drew chop it up over Deshaun Watson, COVID 2021, and more. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Seth's friend Drew Hodgdon gives him hope by saying he thinks it's highly unlikely that Deshaun Watson gets traded. The guys also discuss whether Lebron James is one bit wrong for calling out a creepy courtside couple in Atlanta. They then discuss an article about how to be more socially adept, but sour on it when they decide that the author is just a little too British. Seth Payne is a retired NFL veteran who now hosts a sports radio show in Houston. You can follow him on Twitter and Instagram @SethCPayne See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Seth and his old teammate Drew Hodgdon discuss the NFL conference championship games, including why Travis Kelce reminds them of the obnoxious rich kid from any John Hughes movie, and why Seth will never stop being a Stan for Tom Brady.  See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Seth and Drew shut down some of the arguments for why Urban Meyer won't succeed with the Jaguars, and author Gary Meyers discusses how Brady vs. Brees could affect both quarterbacks' legacies. Seth Payne played defensive tackle in the NFL for ten years. He spent time with the Jacksonville Jaguars and the Houston Texans. Prior to his NFL career, he attended Cornell University. You can find Seth on Twitter and Instagram @SethCPayne. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Part Two of the Deshaun Watson Trade episode. Seth Payne answers listener questions, including: How does this affect the coaching search? Is Deshaun being unreasonable? Why did the Texans bother with a search firm? And more... You can follow Seth on Twitter and Instagram @SethCPayne See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Seth Payne has had front row seats to the soap opera that has led to talk of the Houston Texans potentially trading Deshaun Watson. He and Drew Hodgdon explain how it all got so crazy. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Seth Payne has had front row seats to the soap opera that has led to talk of the Houston Texans potentially trading Deshaun Watson. He and Drew Hodgdon explain how it all got so crazy.   See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Seth and his friend Drew Hodgdon discuss whether a Clemson player deserved to be ejected for his hit on Ohio State QB Justin Fields. They also try to figure out what probably happened between Mason Rudolph and Myles Garrett ahead of the Browns Steelers game this weekend. The guys finish up by deciding whether they're guilty of any of the 5 habits of highly insecure people. Seth Payne played defensive tackle in the NFL for ten years. He spent time with the Jacksonville Jaguars and the Houston Texans. Prior to his NFL career, he attended Cornell University. You can find Seth on Twitter and Instagram @SethCPayne. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Seth and his friend Drew Hodgdon discuss: Terrell Owens accused McNabb of drinking the night before Super Bowl; Mike Tomlin says some weird stuff; You will respect Nick Saban, damn it; Johnny Football rises from the ashes. Seth Payne played defensive tackle in the NFL for ten years. He spent 5 years with the Jacksonville Jaguars and 5 with the Houston Texans. Prior to the NFL, he played ball at Cornell University. You can find Seth on Twitter and Instagram @SethCPayne.      See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Seth and his friend Drew Hodgdon work off their Christmas dinners with a chat about Tom Brady's resurgence, Gronk's bod, and Josh James' disdain for fantasy football. They also speculate about which COVID behavioral modifications will stick when this nightmare is over. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Seth and his friend Drew Hodgdon discuss Seth's recent bout with COVID, the eeriness of empty NFL stadiums, and why sometimes you gotta physically threaten your boss. Seth Payne was a defensive lineman in the NFL for ten years, spending time with both the Jacksonville Jaguars and the Houston Texans. Prior to that he played ball at Cornell University. You can find Seth on Twitter and Instagram @SethCPayne.    Subscribe and leave a review if you enjoy Deceptively Fast with Seth Payne.      See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

My friend Drew Hodgdon and I discuss the most recent demise of Jets defensive coordinator Gregg Williams. I, despite a lifetime of disapproving of Gregg Williams, didn't think the blitz that got him fired was THAT bad of a call. Talking about the Jets also led us to reminisce about various bad teams that we played on, and how it's just one insult after another in seasons like that. Seth Payne played defensive tackle in the NFL for ten years, spending 5 years each with Jacksonville Jaguars and the Houston Texans. He played collegiately at Cornell University. You can find Seth on Twitter and Instagram @SethCPayne. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Harvard professor John Ratey joined me for an illuminating discussion about how exercise can have an amazing effect on the brain, both in terms of cognitive function and emotional stability. His book has had a profound impact on my own exercise regimen, and I feel as emotionally healthy and clear-headed as I have in my entire life. I think it's important for as many people as possible to hear his message. Enjoy! Seth Payne had a ten-year career as a defensive lineman in the NFL, playing for the Jacksonville Jaguars and the Houston Texans. He played collegiately at Cornell. These days he co-hosts a morning radio show in Houston. Seth is on Twitter and Instagram @SethCPayne. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Inspired by a couple of events in the NFL, Drew and I ended up talking a bunch about cheating and/or pushing the limits on the rulebook this week. The first was an incident at the end of the first half of the Ravens/Steelers game, in which defenders bled the clock by getting up slowly from the pile (gamesmanship IMO). The second was the suspension of Will Fuller and Bradly Roby for using PEDs (cheating). After that, we went on to discuss what it was like to play against Larry Allen, my first experience with a kolache, and a bunch of other fun stuff. Seth Payne had a 10 year career in the NFL, playing 5 years each with Jacksonville Jaguars and the Houston Texans. He played his college ball at Cornell University. You can find Seth on Twitter and Instagram @SethCPayne.  Subscribe and leave a review if you enjoy Deceptively Fast with Seth Payne.   See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

I had my friend and former teammate Drew Hodgdon join the show this week, on the eve of my hernia surgery. I was in the mood to talk about some of the notable confrontations from Week 11, including Harbaugh v. Vrabel, Anthony Weaver v. Narrative, and Seth Payne v. Drew Hodgdon (actually circa 2006).  Drew also drops an astounding fact about the physical risk of playing center that I had somehow never heard about, and I don't think I'm alone. Seth Payne played defensive tackle (and some defensive end) in the NFL for ten years. He spent time with the Jacksonville Jaguars and the Houston Texans. Prior to the NFL, he played at Cornell University. Seth is on Twitter and Instagram @SethCPayne.  Subscribe and leave a review if you enjoy Deceptively Fast with Seth Payne.   See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Seth has an in-depth talk with comedian Gary Gulman about how he got a football scholarship after playing one season of organized football, and how being an athlete has helped him in his approach to work. They also dive deep into Gary's battle against depression.  Seth played defensive tackle in the NFL for ten years. He spent 5 years each with the Jacksonville Jaguars and the Houston Texans. He played his college ball at Cornell. You can find Seth on Twitter and Instagram @SethCPayne. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Seth speaks with his friend Roberta Anding, a Rice University professor and registered dietician who has worked with the Texans, Astros, and many other high-level sports teams. They discuss tainted nutritional supplements, eating disorders during the pandemic, how creatine can help your brain as well as your bench press, and much more. Seth Payne is a retired NFL player and current sports radio host in Houston. He played 5 years each with the Jacksonville Jaguars and the Houston Texans. He played collegiately at Cornell University. You can find Seth on Twitter and Instagram @SethCPayne.  Subscribe and leave a review if you enjoy Deceptively Fast with Seth Payne.   See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Seth talks to his former Texans teammate Eric Winston about what it was like to be the NFL Players Association president and what it was like playing for offensive line coach and pioneer of the zone blocking system, Alex Gibbs Sr. Seth Payne played defensive tackle in the NFL for ten years. He spent time with the Jacksonville Jaguars and the Houston Texans. Prior to his NFL career, he attended Cornell University. You can find Seth on Twitter and Instagram @SethCPayne. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Seth is joined by Sam Monson of the advanced stat site, Pro Football Focus (PFF.com). They discuss PFF's history and how a bunch of European NFL message board junkies became expert football analysts. Seth also forces Sam to bend his analysis to fit old and stupid football cliches, like "which team just wants it more." Seth Payne played defensive tackle in the NFL for ten years. He spent time with the Jacksonville Jaguars and the Houston Texans. Before his NFL career, he attended Cornell University. You can find Seth on Twitter and Instagram @SethCPayne. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Seth goes over all the intriguing, well, inaction at the NFL trade deadline. Will Fuller and Stephon Gilmore were the subjects of much speculation, but ultimately stayed put. Seth also breaks down the weirdness of the Javon Wims fight and recounts some of the strangest fights he's seen on a football field. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Seth has a discussion with US Soccer legend Tab Ramos.

Seth recaps Thursday night football and takes a look at the state of new coaches and young quarterbacks in Week 8 of the NFL season.

Seth fights thru a rare virus (computer) to bring the DFP from a ski condo in a town where it's not snowing. Richard Sherman takes on Baker Mayfield, Pat Mahomes takes on Deshaun Watson, and the Mayfield returns for a go at Russell Wilson.

Former Texans linebacker Brian Peters is amongst the most physically fit athletes in the NFL. He's also one of the most ketogenic NFL players I've encountered. If you're considering or using the ketogenic diet, or don't know what the hell that means, check out this pod.

MinshewMania, Eli is classier than Seth, and Seth makes a genuinely embarrassing confession.

Three-time Super Bowl Champion ex-Patriot Ted Johnson and I hang out. Ted tells me about the new "Chill Bill" Belichick, why he thinks Bob Kraft doesn't like a certain Texans employee, and the prospects of a Gronkowski return.

The NFL is off and running! The Packers stunk offense stunk a little less than the Bears offense, Antonio Brown was suspended and then suddenly not suspended, and Seth was at ground zero of all the Texans trade drama this week.

Week 2 of the pre-season is in the books as Seth talks us through the Antonio Brown saga, Kyler Murray's rookie struggles, and Tom Brady's secret word for "sex".