Fresh Perspective

I developed The Tree of Clarity to help the Questers create radical, lasting transformation in their lives. Learn about the old and new belief systems, understand the role of emotions as clues, how to rewrite the voices of the cheerleader and judge with the voice of the coach, and empower yourself to show up as a better version of yourself, more often and for longer. — — — — —   Francois Esterhuizen is a life coach who helps professionals get unstuck and gain momentum, and a relationship counsellor with decades of experience who specialises in conflict and communication. Visit getclarity.co.za to find out more, join a webinar or book a free consultation.   #freshperspective #lifecoaching #personalgrowth #treeofclarity #clarity #empowering #transformation #mindsettraining #mindset

Labelling your emotions empowers you to do something about them. Dr Mareitjie Smit introduces us to the concept of 'languishing,' the state between flourishing and depression, and the importance of balancing 'doing' and 'being' to combat it. Discover practical tips and small actions that can bring joy and purpose back into your life. We also discuss the impact of internal voices, like the judge and the cheerleader, on our emotional wellbeing, and how to train the voice of the coach instead. — — — — — Francois Esterhuizen is a life coach who helps professionals get unstuck and gain momentum, and a relationship counsellor with decades of experience who specialises in conflict and communication.   Dr. Marietjie Smit is the founder of the Reconstruct Community (an obesity and bariatric advocacy group), completed her PhD in Business Management (Entrepreneurship) at 41 and is a fan of lifelong learning. Visit getclarity.co.za to find out more about me and the work I do, join a webinar or book a free consultation.   #freshperspective #lifecoaching #personalgrowth #personaldevelopment #wellbeing #mentalhealth #selfcare #personaldevelopment #mindfulness #emotionalintelligence #growthmindset #innerpeace

Hear from three Questers how the Clarity Quest helped them find clarity, courage, and accountability, transforming their lives and relationships.   The Clarity Quest program is designed to help you get unstuck and find direction and purpose through structured steps, mentorship, and a supportive community, with mindset training and personal guidance and coaching from me.   If you want to join the next Clarity Quest, sign up here: https://www.francoisesterhuizen.com/clarity-quest-open-day — — — — — Francois Esterhuizen is a life coach who helps professionals get unstuck and gain momentum, and a relationship counsellor with decades of experience who specialises in conflict and communication. Visit getclarity.co.za to find out more, join a webinar or book a free consultation.   #freshperspective #lifecoaching #personalgrowth #personaltransformation #mindsetshift #growthmindset #selfimprovement #findyourpurpose #overcomeobstacles #empowerment #lifedirection

If you're not using conflict to grow your relationship, you're missing out. Learn how to peel back the layers of communication in your relationship from the superficial to the deeply personal, and discover how conflicts aren't just obstacles but opportunities to understand your needs, express your feelings, and grow closer to your partner. This episode offers practical advice on navigating disagreements with empathy and insight, turning potential rifts into moments of connection. If you're ready to change how you see and handle conflict, this guide is for you. (No, I didn't regrow my hair — this is one from the vault.) — — — — — Francois Esterhuizen is a life coach who helps professionals get unstuck and gain momentum, and a relationship counsellor with decades of experience who specialises in conflict and communication. Visit getclarity.co.za to find out more, join a webinar or book a free consultation. #freshperspective #lifecoaching #personalgrowth #communication #conflict #personaldevelopment #relationshipgoals #communicationiskey #growtogether #deepconnections #conflictresolution #empathyinlove #personalgrowth #understandinglove

"Do you care?" That has become the most important question for me whenever I'm prepping for a coaching session. Join Dr Maritjie Smit and I as we unpack coaching, what drives us to do it and the most powerful tools we use to help people grow. — — — — — Dr. Smit is the founder of the Reconstruct Community (an obesity and bariatric advocacy group), completed her PhD in Business Management (Entrepreneurship) at 41 and is a fan of lifelong learning. — — — — — Francois Esterhuizen is a life coach who helps professionals get unstuck and gain momentum, and a relationship counsellor with decades of experience who specialises in conflict and communication. Visit getclarity.co.za to find out more, join a webinar or book a free consultation.   #freshperspective #lifecoaching #personalgrowth #personaldevelopment #coachingjourney #growthmindset #selfdiscovery #learningjourney, #transformation #coachingtips #mindsetshift #unlockpotential #questions #curiosity

Getting what you want in your relationship isn't always easy, but it is simple. Just ask.   In this Unpacking episode, Dr Marietjie Smit and I delve into what it means to understand your needs, articulate them to your partner and the massive impact it can have on your happiness. We cover topics ranging from identifying your own needs and the art of effective communication with your partner, to teaching your partner how to meet your needs and the impact of past experiences on our current relationships. We also look at the power of taking personal responsibility in healing and growing within relationships, how your unspoken needs can manifest as baggage in a relationship and the dynamics of asking for help from a partner and the vulnerability involved. — — — — — Dr. Smit is the founder of the Reconstruct Community (an obesity and bariatric advocacy group), completed her PhD in Business Management (Entrepreneurship) at 41 and is a fan of lifelong learning. — — — — — Francois Esterhuizen is a life coach who helps professionals get unstuck and gain momentum, and a relationship counsellor with decades of experience who specialises in conflict and communication. Visit getclarity.co.za to find out more, join a webinar or book a free consultation.   #freshperspective #lifecoaching #personalgrowth #personaldevelopment #relationshipinsights #understandingneeds #effectivecommunication #deepconnections #selfawarenessjourney #partnershipgoals #relationshipadvice #emotionalintelligence #personalgrowth #healthyrelationships

My goal is to help my clients achieve radical, lasting transformation. This principle is one of the most important and misunderstood practices for getting unstuck that, when correctly applied, will completely change your life. (That isn't hyperbole — many of my clients have shared stories of radical transformation after implementing it in their own lives.) I also share the three steps you need to take to get what you want, the transformative role of structure and discipline as expressions of self-love and empowerment, and why intentionality is the key to unlocking all of the above. — — — — — Francois Esterhuizen is a life coach who helps professionals get unstuck and gain momentum, and a relationship counsellor with decades of experience who specialises in conflict and communication. Visit getclarity.co.za to find out more, join a webinar or book a free consultation.   #freshperspective #lifecoaching #personalgrowth #personaldevelopment #SelfImprovement #PersonalGrowth #HealthySelfishness #SelfSacrifice #Empowerment #LifeGoals #MindsetShift #SelfDiscovery #IntentionalLiving #selffulfillment #selfishness

When someone irritates you or you are in a conflict situation, the temptation to blame others is strong. In this Unpacking episode Dr Marietjie Smit and I look at how to turn those conflict situations into wins for you by being curious. We also discuss why taking responsibility is so much more powerful than pointing fingers, the three voices in your head and how developing your inner coach can help you rewrite limiting narratives that keep you stuck. — — — — — Dr. Smit is the founder of the Reconstruct Community (an obesity and bariatric advocacy group), completed her PhD in Business Management (Entrepreneurship) at 41 and is a fan of lifelong learning. — — — — — Francois Esterhuizen is a life coach who helps professionals get unstuck and gain momentum, and a relationship counsellor with decades of experience who specialises in conflict and communication. Visit getclarity.co.za to find out more, join a webinar or book a free consultation.   #freshperspective #lifecoaching #personalgrowth #personaldevelopment #beliefs #responsibility #control #influence #innernarritive #limitingbeliefs #blame #yourstory

Where does your responsibility for others' behaviour end? And how can you take charge of what you CAN control? Join Dr. Smit and I as we discuss the underappreciated power of responsibility and how you can always know what you should try to control. We also discuss the "clarity tree" for parsing personal responsibility, how much responsibility we should take for our children — stopping by my two parenting mantras on the way — and how focusing on controlling the right things will lead to much better results than gambling your energy away on the wrong things. — — — — — Dr. Smit is the founder of the Reconstruct Community (an obesity and bariatric advocacy group), completed her PhD in Business Management (Entrepreneurship) at 41 and is a fan of lifelong learning. — — — — — Francois Esterhuizen is a life coach who helps professionals get unstuck and gain momentum, and a relationship counsellor with decades of experience who specialises in conflict and communication. Visit https://www.getclarity.co.za to find out more, join a webinar or book a free consultation.   #freshperspective #lifecoaching #personalgrowth #personaldevelopment #beliefs #responsibility #control #influence #parenting #claritree #treeofclarity

Labelling your beliefs as good or bad is surprisingly unhelpful. In this conversation with Dr. Marietjie Smit, we look at a more useful approach to your beliefs that empowers you. Discover how to figure out your emotional goals, take responsibility for your growth and get out of negative emotional spaces, even if nothing changes about the situation you are in. — — — — — Francois Esterhuizen is a life coach who helps professionals get unstuck and gain momentum, and a relationship counsellor with decades of experience who specialises in conflict and communication. Visit getclarity.co.za to find out more, join a webinar or book a free consultation. #freshperspective #lifecoaching #personalgrowth #personaldevelopment #beliefs #binaryoptions #perspective #mindset #goalsetting #repetition

What's the difference between the pain that ruins you and the pain that grows you? In this episode, I chat with Dr Marietjie Smit about the difference between "slow pain" that needs healing and "grow pain" that you need to become the person you want to be. Discover what slow pain is trying to tell you, how to respond to it properly, and why simply waiting for time to heal old wounds doesn't work. We also get into how unresolved pain can hurt your closest relationships through projection and transference, and the key differences between therapy and coaching in moving you forward. Dr. Smit is the founder of the Reconstruct Community (an obesity and bariatric advocacy group), completed her PhD in Business Management (Entrepreneurship) at 41 and is a fan of lifelong learning. — — — — — Francois Esterhuizen is a life coach who helps professionals get unstuck and gain momentum, and a relationship counsellor with decades of experience who specialises in conflict and communication. Visit getclarity.co.za to find out more, join a webinar or book a free consultation.   #freshperspective #lifecoaching #personalgrowth #personaldevelopment #slowpain #growthpain #emotionalhealing #innerhealing #childhoodwounds #projection #transference #therapy #coaching #perspective #motivation #relationships

Have you ever said, "I'm not a morning person"? Marietjie and I get into how our beliefs shape our lives — regardless if they are true or not — and how we use limiting beliefs in the form of identity statements like, "I'm not creative" to justify staying safe and comfortable. We look at the role identity statements play in our lives, share personal examples and suggest practical ways to change them into statements that serve us. Dr. Smit is the founder of the Reconstruct Community (an obesity and bariatric advocacy group), completed her PhD in Business Management (Entrepreneurship) at 41 and is a fan of lifelong learning. — — — — — Francois Esterhuizen is a life coach who helps professionals get unstuck and gain momentum, and a relationship counsellor with decades of experience who specialises in conflict and communication. Visit getclarity.co.za to find out more, join a webinar or book a free consultation.   #beliefsystem #identity #selfbelief #focus #mindset #potential #empowerment #motivation #inspiration #personaldevelopment #lifecoaching #identitystatements #wherefocusgoesenergyflows

Do you need to know where your beliefs come from to change them? In this conversation with Dr. Marietjie Smit, we talk about the beliefs that shape us, and how we can replace them with new, healthy beliefs even if we are unable to access where they come from. We also look at the common idea of "fake it till you make it", and propose a much more helpful approach for replacing your beliefs with healthier ones that serve you and reflect the true you.   Dr. Smit is the founder of the Reconstruct Community (an obesity and bariatric advocacy group), completed her PhD in Business Management (Entrepreneurship) at 41 and is a fan of lifelong learning. — — — — — Francois Esterhuizen is a life coach who helps professionals get unstuck and gain momentum, and a relationship counsellor with decades of experience who specialises in conflict and communication. ➡️ getclarity.co.za to find out more, join a webinar or book a free consultation.   #personalgrowth #lifecoaching #beliefs #oldbeliefsystem #newbeliefsystem #mossingaround #meaning #mindset #focus #potential #empowerment #lifecoaching #selfimprovement

What are you afraid of when it comes to achieving your biggest goals and dreams? Failure? Success? In the first episode of this new series, Dr Marietjie Smit and I unpack how fear holds us back from living up to our potential. From fearing failure to fearing success, catastrophizing about worst-case scenarios and reframing fear to move forward, we examine how fear keeps you stuck in a myriad of different ways, and how to break through and overcome it, or harness it to keep moving forward. Whether you are actively facing fear or totally unaware of how much it is influencing you, you will gain something from this conversation. Marietjie is the founder of the Reconstruct Community (an obesity and bariatric advocacy group), completed her PhD in Business Management (Entrepreneurship) at 41 and is a fan of lifelong learning. — — — — — Francois Esterhuizen is a life coach who helps professionals get unstuck and gain momentum, and a relationship counsellor with decades of experience who specialises in conflict and communication. Visit getclarity.co.za to find out more, join a webinar or book a free consultation.   #personalgrowth #lifecoaching #fear #failure #success #fearoffailure #fearofsuccess #courageousconversations #reframefear #achievegoals #creativesolutions #inspiredaction #lifecoaching #getunstuck

Josh Romisher, CEO of LaunchLab in South Africa, shares his experience helping entrepreneurs and academics build startups and his ultimate focus on dealing with the "big wicked problem" of climate change. Being closely connected to Stellenbosch University, Josh shares how he leverages LaunchLab's relationship with SU in two directions; building startups from university research and ideas, and building startups with university experts. He also discusses the importance of passion, grit, and a growth mindset in entrepreneurship, and designing solutions for real needs rather than trying to commercialize research. Josh offers insights on universities as catalysts for innovation through partnerships between entrepreneurs, experts, and students, and reflects on applying entrepreneurial principles like having a clear mission and values in his personal life as a husband and father. Key themes include pursuing meaningful work, cultivating work-life balance, and fostering an entrepreneurial mindset in all aspects of life. — — — — Francois Esterhuizen is a life coach who helps professionals get unstuck and gain momentum, and a relationship counsellor with decades of experience who specialises in conflict and communication. Visit getclarity.co.za to find out more, join a webinar or book a free consultation. #climatechange #sustainability #entrepreneur #startups #innovation #research #universities #leadership #socialimpact #mindsetshift

This inspiring interview with Paul Rowett dives into his journey as a purpose-driven entrepreneur. After achieving business success and an exit, Paul realized money and time freedom weren't enough - he needed purpose. A documentary about plastic pollution sparked Paul into action on climate change. He launched a currency called Toco that creates environmental wealth and demand for carbon removal, where users can exchange Rands for Toco on an app, then spend Toco at participating merchants in Stellenbosch, with each transaction removing their carbon footprint. The vision is to scale Toco globally, boosting demand and pricing for high-quality carbon credits. Paul shares openly about finding purpose, being present with family amidst the busyness of starting a movement, and how his wife supports his purpose. — — — — Visit getclarity.co.za to find out more about what I do and book your free consultation.   #climatechange #sustainability #carbonremoval #entrepreneur #purpose #currency #climatecurrency #carboncredits #climateaction #greentechnology #freshperspective #personalgrowth #personaldevelopment #entrepreneurlife

Drawing on his entrepreneurial journey from pinball machines to safari lodges, Carl shares insightful lessons like success taking grit and persistence to grow a business through tough times, taking smart risks, living your values and finding fulfillment outside of the constant hustle. Carl offers candid entrepreneurial advice on grit, risks vs. rewards, hustling smart, and balancing money with meaning. For aspiring entrepreneurs hungry for insights from someone who's been there, this chat delivers. — — — — Visit getclarity.co.za to find out more about what I do or book your free consultation.   #freshperspective #personalgrowth #personaldevelopment #entrepreneur #entrepreneurlife #smallbusiness #mentorship #safaritourism #mindfulness #worklifebalance #hustle #successmindset

Justin is CFO/COO at a large automotive retailer. He shares his perspectives on overcoming major business challenges, balancing a demanding career with family life, principles for personal growth, and tips on parenting and leadership. Learn how Justin led his company through the pandemic while protecting jobs, rebuilt after the lockdown, and changed his mindset and priorities along the way. — — — — Visit getclarity.co.za to find out more about what I do or book your free consultation.   #freshperspective #personalgrowth #personaldevelopment #entrepreneur #leadership #businessgrowth #worklifebalance #parenting

In this Fresh Perspective Interview, I chat with the incredible Australian-born entrepreneur Andrew Douglas who has found a unique angle in the local wine industry that is both more profitable and more empowering for the wine-makers. We discuss what kept him stuck operating at 10% for a long time, what snapped him out of it, limiting beliefs and leadership in spite of them, finding the right talent, the massive role family played in his life and much more. — — — — Visit getclarity.co.za to subscribe, or to book your free consultation session with me.   #freshperspective #personalgrowth #personaldevelopment #interview #values #beliefsystem #limitingbeliefs #gettingunstuck #sourcingtalent

This 50-question journey is a great tool to help you figure out: the current state of your life how you want your life to unfold what is currently in the way of you realising that life what you need to do to get past those obstacles and live a life you love. This isn't a quick-fix ten-step program that promises impossibly easy results. Some questions will have obvious answers, while others might seem obvious at first but end up revealing things you weren't aware of. And if you really commit to this process, some questions will keep you awake at night, and the answers you uncover will give you a fresh perspective on your life. The more you put into this process, the more you'll get out of it ¯_(ツ)_/¯ These aren't questions you regularly have to answer, so take your time with them, reflect on them, and write your answers down. It will really help. I hope you enjoy the journey, and as always, you're welcome to book a free consultation call if you would like to explore the possibility of working with me: https://calendly.com/francoisesterhuizen/consultationcall. Book your place on the next Clarity Quest! https://www.francoisesterhuizen.com/clarity-quest You can also learn how to crack the conflict code and more by clicking here: https://relationshipsandpersonalgrowth.com/courses

This 50-question journey is a great tool to help you figure out: the current state of your life how you want your life to unfold what is currently in the way of you realising that life what you need to do to get past those obstacles and live a life you love. This isn't a quick-fix ten-step program that promises impossibly easy results. Some questions will have obvious answers, while others might seem obvious at first but end up revealing things you weren't aware of. And if you really commit to this process, some questions will keep you awake at night, and the answers you uncover will give you a fresh perspective on your life. The more you put into this process, the more you'll get out of it ¯_(ツ)_/¯   These aren't questions you regularly have to answer, so take your time with them, reflect on them, and write your answers down. It will really help.   I hope you enjoy the journey, and as always, you're welcome to book a free consultation call if you would like to explore the possibility of working with me: https://calendly.com/francoisesterhuizen/consultationcall. Book your place on the next Clarity Quest! https://www.francoisesterhuizen.com/clarity-quest You can also learn how to crack the conflict code and more by clicking here: https://relationshipsandpersonalgrowth.com/courses

This 50-question journey is a great tool to help you figure out: the current state of your life how you want your life to unfold what is currently in the way of you realising that life what you need to do to get past those obstacles and live a life you love. This isn't a quick-fix ten-step program that promises impossibly easy results. Some questions will have obvious answers, while others might seem obvious at first but end up revealing things you weren't aware of. And if you really commit to this process, some questions will keep you awake at night, and the answers you uncover will give you a fresh perspective on your life. The more you put into this process, the more you'll get out of it ¯_(ツ)_/¯ These aren't questions you regularly have to answer, so take your time with them, reflect on them, and write your answers down. It will really help. I hope you enjoy the journey, and as always, you're welcome to book a free consultation call if you would like to explore the possibility of working with me: https://calendly.com/francoisesterhuizen/consultationcall. Book your place on the next Clarity Quest! https://www.francoisesterhuizen.com/clarity-quest You can also learn how to crack the conflict code and more by clicking here: https://relationshipsandpersonalgrowth.com/courses

This 50-question journey is a great tool to help you figure out: the current state of your life how you want your life to unfold what is currently in the way of you realising that life what you need to do to get past those obstacles and live a life you love. This isn't a quick-fix ten-step program that promises impossibly easy results. Some questions will have obvious answers, while others might seem obvious at first but end up revealing things you weren't aware of. And if you really commit to this process, some questions will keep you awake at night, and the answers you uncover will give you a fresh perspective on your life. The more you put into this process, the more you'll get out of it ¯_(ツ)_/¯ These aren't questions you regularly have to answer, so take your time with them, reflect on them, and write your answers down. It will really help. I hope you enjoy the journey, and as always, you're welcome to book a free consultation call if you would like to explore the possibility of working with me: https://calendly.com/francoisesterhuizen/consultationcall. Book your place on the next Clarity Quest! https://www.francoisesterhuizen.com/clarity-quest You can also learn how to crack the conflict code and more by clicking here: https://relationshipsandpersonalgrowth.com/courses

This 50-question journey is a great tool to help you figure out: the current state of your life how you want your life to unfold what is currently in the way of you realising that life what you need to do to get past those obstacles and live a life you love. This isn't a quick-fix ten-step program that promises impossibly easy results. Some questions will have obvious answers, while others might seem obvious at first but end up revealing things you weren't aware of. And if you really commit to this process, some questions will keep you awake at night, and the answers you uncover will give you a fresh perspective on your life. The more you put into this process, the more you'll get out of it ¯_(ツ)_/¯ These aren't questions you regularly have to answer, so take your time with them, reflect on them, and write your answers down. It will really help. I hope you enjoy the journey, and as always, you're welcome to book a free consultation call if you would like to explore the possibility of working with me: https://calendly.com/francoisesterhuizen/consultationcall. Book your place on the next Clarity Quest! https://www.francoisesterhuizen.com/clarity-quest You can also learn how to crack the conflict code and more by clicking here: https://relationshipsandpersonalgrowth.com/courses

This 50-question journey is a great tool to help you figure out: the current state of your life how you want your life to unfold what is currently in the way of you realising that life what you need to do to get past those obstacles and live a life you love. This isn't a quick-fix ten-step program that promises impossibly easy results. Some questions will have obvious answers, while others might seem obvious at first but end up revealing things you weren't aware of. And if you really commit to this process, some questions will keep you awake at night, and the answers you uncover will give you a fresh perspective on your life. The more you put into this process, the more you'll get out of it ¯_(ツ)_/¯ These aren't questions you regularly have to answer, so take your time with them, reflect on them, and write your answers down. It will really help. I hope you enjoy the journey, and as always, you're welcome to book a free consultation call if you would like to explore the possibility of working with me: https://calendly.com/francoisesterhuizen/consultationcall. Book your place on the next Clarity Quest! https://www.francoisesterhuizen.com/clarity-quest You can also learn how to crack the conflict code and more by clicking here: https://relationshipsandpersonalgrowth.com/courses

This 50-question journey is a great tool to help you figure out: the current state of your life how you want your life to unfold what is currently in the way of you realising that life what you need to do to get past those obstacles and live a life you love. This isn't a quick-fix ten-step program that promises impossibly easy results. Some questions will have obvious answers, while others might seem obvious at first but end up revealing things you weren't aware of. And if you really commit to this process, some questions will keep you awake at night, and the answers you uncover will give you a fresh perspective on your life. The more you put into this process, the more you'll get out of it ¯_(ツ)_/¯ These aren't questions you regularly have to answer, so take your time with them, reflect on them, and write your answers down. It will really help. I hope you enjoy the journey, and as always, you're welcome to book a free consultation call if you would like to explore the possibility of working with me: https://calendly.com/francoisesterhuizen/consultationcall. Book your place on the next Clarity Quest! https://www.francoisesterhuizen.com/clarity-quest You can also learn how to crack the conflict code and more by clicking here: https://relationshipsandpersonalgrowth.com/courses

This 50-question journey is a great tool to help you figure out: the current state of your life how you want your life to unfold what is currently in the way of you realising that life what you need to do to get past those obstacles and live a life you love. This isn't a quick-fix ten-step program that promises impossibly easy results. Some questions will have obvious answers, while others might seem obvious at first but end up revealing things you weren't aware of. And if you really commit to this process, some questions will keep you awake at night, and the answers you uncover will give you a fresh perspective on your life. The more you put into this process, the more you'll get out of it ¯_(ツ)_/¯ These aren't questions you regularly have to answer, so take your time with them, reflect on them, and write your answers down. It will really help. I hope you enjoy the journey, and as always, you're welcome to book a free consultation call if you would like to explore the possibility of working with me: https://calendly.com/francoisesterhuizen/consultationcall. Book your place on the next Clarity Quest! https://www.francoisesterhuizen.com/clarity-quest You can also learn how to crack the conflict code and more by clicking here: https://relationshipsandpersonalgrowth.com/courses  

This 50-question journey is a great tool to help you figure out: the current state of your life how you want your life to unfold what is currently in the way of you realising that life what you need to do to get past those obstacles and live a life you love.   This isn't a quick-fix ten-step program that promises impossibly easy results. Some questions will have obvious answers, while others might seem obvious at first but end up revealing things you weren't aware of. And if you really commit to this process, some questions will keep you awake at night, and the answers you uncover will give you a fresh perspective on your life. The more you put into this process, the more you'll get out of it ¯_(ツ)_/¯   These aren't questions you regularly have to answer, so take your time with them, reflect on them, and write your answers down. It will really help.   I hope you enjoy the journey, and as always, you're welcome to book a free consultation call if you would like to explore the possibility of working with me: https://calendly.com/francoisesterhuizen/consultationcall. Book your place on the next Clarity Quest! https://www.francoisesterhuizen.com/clarity-quest You can also learn how to crack the conflict code and more by clicking here: https://relationshipsandpersonalgrowth.com/courses  

This 50-question journey is a great tool to help you figure out: the current state of your life how you want your life to unfold what is currently in the way of you realising that life what you need to do to get past those obstacles and live a life you love.   This isn't a quick-fix ten-step program that promises impossibly easy results. Some questions will have obvious answers, while others might seem obvious at first but end up revealing things you weren't aware of. And if you really commit to this process, some questions will keep you awake at night, and the answers you uncover will give you a fresh perspective on your life. The more you put into this process, the more you'll get out of it ¯_(ツ)_/¯   These aren't questions you regularly have to answer, so take your time with them, reflect on them, and write your answers down. It will really help.   I hope you enjoy the journey, and as always, you're welcome to book a free consultation call if you would like to explore the possibility of working with me: https://calendly.com/francoisesterhuizen/consultationcall. Book your place on the next Clarity Quest! https://www.francoisesterhuizen.com/clarity-quest You can also learn how to crack the conflict code and more by clicking here: https://relationshipsandpersonalgrowth.com/courses  

In this episode, I have an entertaining conversation with Marilet Kotzé, a sex therapist & Imago counsellor about all things spicy and sexy, including: the origins of some of the most common issues couples have around sex the importance of couples communicating with each other about sex, and what these conversations can be about reasons why more and more marriages are not monogamous anymore and engage in activities like swinging a description of the balance that a marriage should have between being a safe space and being a sexy space what it looks like to shake off the boundaries regarding sex that has been programmed into us since childhood books that can help people learn skills to have good sex is pornography a good or a bad thing? I hope you enjoy this fascinating conversation. Until next time. Much love, Francois   Remember: Change your perspective and you can transform your life!  

In this episode, Andri Stander (former manager at the Western Province Institute of Rugby) shares the journey his career has taken him on so far and how it has taught him three simple principles that form the recipe for high-performance living. He shares these principles freely. The conversation also touches on aspects like: - How athletes are set up for success outside of the sports arena during their career as athletes - Why being talented is not the determining factor for high performance living - Why you should not see your career as your destination - Why getting a degree is not an achievement that will set you free - The personal development he experienced while doing network marketing for a season - How to be effective in getting things done - The power of being purpose-driven.   Dig in and discover secrets to bridging the gap between where you are and where you want to be. Until next time. Much love, Francois   Remember: Change your perspective and you can transform your life!

(Trigger Warning: A discussion about sexual abuse) In this episode, I had an intriguing conversation with pastor and couples counsellor, Dewaldt de Kock. We talked about the challenges people face in relationships and aspects of having a healthy sex life. Here are some of the main points we touched on: The Mating in Captivity series that Dewaldt and his wife hosted for couples struggling during the lockdown, and what it was all about What can stir sexual attraction to your spouse after you've been married several years What a sexual tasting menu is, and why you can benefit from making use of it in your relationship A story about how sexuality can be reclaimed How much time and attention to dedicate only to your children Why people have affairs and what can be done to repair damaged relationships How to treat the sacred space that is shared in a relationship Why it's important to understand your spouse's "back story" Tips on how to cherish your spouse What the ECCT approach is, and why it is a valuable way of interacting with your spouse You're in for some great stuff here! Enjoy it.   Until next time.   Much love, FrancoisRemember: Change your perspective and you can transform your life!

In this podcast, I talk to visual communication designer Dian Wessels about what he does, and we explore the topic of being creative and finding your own creative voice.   Here are some of the key talking points of the conversation:  What a graphic designer does What UI and UX design is and the hidden principles used to do successful designs Why we need constraints to express our creativity Advice for people who think they are not creative An approach you can take to find your creative voice How to plan for being creative The difference between developing a skill and expressing your creativity   I hope you enjoy it   Until next time.   Much love, FrancoisRemember: Change your perspective and you can transform your life!

#31 André le Roux - STRATEGIES FOR BRILLIANT DECISION-MAKING   In today’s podcast, I speak with the business strategist André le Roux. He helps businesses increase their chances of achieving success, and shares some valuable ideas that are applicable not only to business, but also to life:   How to develop better decision-making skills What emotional decision-making is, why we do it, and how to stress-test a decision or strategy in life Why knowing who you are is critically important, and how to go about figuring it out Five strategic questions to ask yourself in life Three basic principles for making better decisions

Corneels Schabort and I have known each other since our university years, and I interviewed this vibrant friend of mine to share his infectious love for teaching with a wider audience.   Among other things, we discussed: Why Corneels loves teaching How love for a subject field can be born What helped Corneels sharpen his teaching skills Why having mentor(s) is important What makes a good teacher The dynamics of a teacher’s style of teaching and a learner’s way of learning The responsibility of a teacher in caring for students What self-directed learning is, and why it’s important Why it’s important to be able to critically evaluate information and why this is a scarce skill Why it’s important about being honest with yourself about your mindset regarding learning   I hope you enjoy it!   Until next time.

In this episode, I had an intriguing conversation with my friend Llewellyn Morkel about cultivating a mindset for continuous growth. Llewellyn is a strength and conditioning coach at Stellenbosch University’s High Performance unit.  Here’s a quick overview of what we talked about: What Llewellyn does and why he loves it Why strength and conditioning is about problem solving The difference between bodybuilding and strength and conditioning The role of a fixed mindset vs. a growth mindset in strength and conditioning The role of strength and conditioning when someone sustains an injury Your circle of concern vs. your circle of influence and what makes you effective Why it’s important to find enjoyment in what you’re doing, and two kinds of joy that you can draw on How to be aware of the mindsets that you develop as you engage a process in life, and why it’s important Advice for people who want to achieve higher levels of performance   Llewellyn can be followed on Instagram: @llewellyn_m_performance   Until next time.   Much love, FrancoisRemember: Change your perspective and you can transform your life!

In this episode... Please meet - Rito Hlungwani. Forwards coach for the Stormers, and in today's podcast, he shares with me some secrets of success based on his own journey in life as well as the work he does with some rugby players. Rito uses coaching techniques that he developed from years of research. He explains these techniques to me and how they are also very applicable to life outside of rugby.Here are some issues that were touched on: How can teams reach goals? How can someone become a better problem-solver? How can someone become better at learning from others? What can be challenging in hosting a collaborative setting? How can a coach gain the trust of players? What determines the success of a player? What aspects of the game of rugby makes players well-adjusted to the business world? What is a cultural architect and what role do they play in a team setting? What is the best advice for someone who wants to achieve something great, like being a professional player? Contact Rito: Ritohlungwani@gmail.comor Follow on Twitter: @shangaanator_1 Enjoy! You can also subscribe to my newsletter here: FreshPerspective  You can also mail me Lekker! Remember: Change your perspective and you can transform your life! Much Love

Molweni! Please meet Lianca Fourie. A friend and bundle of joy... and a play therapist. In this episode of Fresh Perspective, I chat with the bubbly play therapist, Lianca Fourie. She offers play therapy for children between the ages of 3 and 18, using the theory of Gestalt therapy. If you don't listen to podcasts here are some highlights compiled for you by Melise Botha and edited by David Liprini and me. Melise and David will be helping me to continue creating when the demand on my time has increased so much - even starting at 5:00 am doesn’t cut it anymore. 0o: Please feel free to give me(us) feedback on this overview. Any feedback will help to improve… Should it be longer, shorter, more highlights, questions asked, etc.Until next timeMuch love Francois You can always reach me at francois@vuurdoring.co.za Over to you Melise:Gestalt therapy can be viewed not only as a method of therapy but also as a mindset or a life philosophy. Its principles are applicable to persons of all ages. The concept of Gestalt therapy is that the parts of a whole are more important than the whole itself. So, I am not only Francois the relationship therapist, I am a father, a son, a husband, and more. All these parts make up the whole of me as a person.In our life approach, we should consider the parts of ourselves and be present within them. So Gestalt therapy is about being present in the moment because our power lies in the present. This therapy also focuses on taking responsibility for our lives and emotions. Being present starts with awareness of what’s happening around you and the emotions you experience. You become aware by using your senses. So working on your emotions starts with working with your senses. A typical Gestalt therapy exercise is to close your eyes, become aware of your breathing, how your heart is beating, and where your body touches the chair. Using your senses in this way then opens the door to your emotions, because the sensory and emotional parts of the brain are next to each other. Being yourself means you accept all the parts you’re made up of. So you should take responsibility for what has happened in your life, your feelings, your actions, etc. You recognise that though you may not be able to change what has happened or is happening, you have power over your reaction to it. A basic way in which to start doing this is by using “I”-language. Instead of saying “you are making me mad”, you say, “I feel mad when that happens”. Taking responsibility can also include recognising the role that you play in the lives of others. The parts you’re made up of (or roles you fulfil), each reflect the core of who you are, the things that make you unique. But you don’t react the same way in every part/role. For instance, you may be a great play therapist, but when you function as a mother, you sometimes forget what to do, how to stay calm, because you’re more emotionally involved in that setting. And you should realise that this is OK.When working with very young children, the focus is their emotions. They’re too young to understand why they’re doing what they’re doing. So instead, they’re taught how to handle and manage their emotions. This is done by teaching them that all feelings are accepted, but actions must be limited. The feeling is not a problem, it’s what you do with the feeling that makes it a problem or not. For example, many parents struggle with their three to six-year-olds, saying that they’re angry and out of control and hurt other children. So during therapy, Lianca will use emoji stickers to get the child to indicate their emotion, why they are feeling that way and where the feeling sits in their body. If the anger could talk, what would it say? Anger is a secondary emotion, and another feeling is usually hiding behind it. So the child will say something like “The anger says, I hate my baby sister”. The feeling will then be accepted with a statement like, “It sounds like your baby sister is making your life a bit challenging?” To which the child will respond, “She always gets all the attention from mommy!” The fact that the child has less time with his/her mother because of the baby is acknowledged, and the child is asked what he/she usually does when he/she gets angry. The child will say that he/she hits things, and will then be asked what they could rather do instead of hitting things. Ideas will be collected, and rules will be set e.g. when I’m angry, I’m not allowed to hit my sister or say bad words, but I can do x, y and z. The child’s parents are also taught how to diffuse the child’s emotions and help them expand their emotional vocabulary even before an outburst can happen. So parents also have to take a lot of responsibility in the process, and a big part of that is being present and aware of their own feelings too. With older children and teenagers, they will be given more responsibility during the play therapy. When there’s unfinished business, a dialogue is necessary. For teenagers, the biggest issue is typical that they feel like they’re not being heard, and their feelings are not being acknowledged or understood. Also, parents often don’t realise that they should make a shift from parenting a child to mentoring their tween (age 10-12) or teenager, and then transition to friendship. When this happens, the parent tries to handle the perceived problem such as a tantrum or the slamming of a door, instead of getting to the real problem. The teenager doesn’t feel connected to the parent and refuses to share. So parents must first focus on connection and then on correction.During therapy with a teenager, the focus will be on diffusion of the emotions. He/she will have to picture his/her parent in an empty chair where there’s a picture or other kind of substitute for the parent, to connect the process with an emotion. Then a dialogue will be had, where emotions are let out. Children and teenagers are very able to move past something when they feel that it has been handled. With adults, it is not that straightforward, because they will say they’re OK when they’re not. Following the dialogue, the teenager will be taught how to take responsibility for their own emotions. What can be done when this incident occurs again? How they can approach their parents. Communication skills are taught, so the teen can safely share feelings without feeling guilty or making it about the other party. A technique used in Imago therapy is to work on appreciation, linking it with an emotion, going into the opposite emotion, and then trying to resolve that. For example, “Hello Dad, I like it when you spend time with me. It makes me feel special. A time that you don’t make me feel special is when you’re working all the time and not spending time with me. That makes me feel like I’m not important. I need you to spend more time with me.” Depending on the child’s temperament, the parent will sometimes physically be in the session. Parents are taught that a child or teenager’s behaviour will not improve if they don’t feel better. So it’s important to help them feel better. Their feelings should be accepted and then managed.Lianca says her work has changed her through the realisation that we’re all only human. We’re going to make mistakes and hurt each other. It’s OK, as long as we learn from it and grow because of it. Life should be embraced with all of its curveballs. All feelings should be acknowledged and accepted. We should be ourselves, with all our feelings, within our circumstances, and then grow in order to help ourselves and others. We will change the world by caring for ourselves and others. Many people don’t know how to accept negative feelings and manage the effect of others’ negative feelings on them. For instance, parents struggle to overcome their feelings when a child is defiant. Knowing and understanding something doesn’t mean we will implement it perfectly because we’re not perfect. The best we can do is to try and do better! Lianca’s superpower is being joyful and sharing joy, even when life is difficult. She tries to teach her clients that joy is always a choice. You can reach Lianca at: 072 123 6683lianca@spelterapie.co.zaShe also does Zoom sessions.

In this episode... I chat with one of the most creative and productive - (rare combo!) people I know. You will love this guy and his accent! Follow Bennie on Instagram Enjoy! You can also subscribe to my newsletter here: FreshPerspective  You can also mail me Lekker!

In this episode... We get a fresh perspective about the autumn of life, overcoming fear of otherness and “The Choice” from Grete Becker Enjoy! You can also subscribe to my newsletter here: FreshPerspective  You can also mail me Lekker! Remember: Change your perspective and you can transform your life! Much Love    

In this episode... We take a fresh lool at feelings, thoughts and beliefs and how they help us create a brighter future... Enjoy! You can also subscribe to my newsletter here: FreshPerspective  You can also email me: francois@vuurdoring.co.za Lekker! Remember: Change your perspective and you can transform your life! Much Love

In this episode... How to radically and quickly, but not easily improve your communication. You can also subscribe to my newsletter here: FreshPerspective You can also mail me: francois@vuurdoring.co.za Lekker!Remember: Change your perspective and you can transform your life!Much Love

In this episode... I interview fellow Imago therapist and psychologist Carol Dixon - based in the UK. Here are some of the ideas we will explore:  The value of upstream prevention The healing potential of a corrective emotional response Healing together; the profound effect of witnessing another’s healing journey Listening to and validating your child doesn’t undermine your parenting The value of validation How important the skill of articulating your experience is The challenge of validating your child without being unrealistic Curiosity as a central driver of growth Downstream vs upstream (prevention is better than cure) The survival suit (defence mechanisms) - adaptive and maladaptive expression Open and hidden wishes The agenda of love is not happiness.    You can find out more about Carol at www.carol-anndixon.org or contact her at imagoCD@gmail.com   You can also subscribe to my newsletter here: FreshPerspective  You can also mail me Lekker! Remember: Change your perspective and you can transform your life!

In this episode... I share with you my take on why we fall out of love... You can also subscribe to my newsletter here: FreshPerspective  You can also mail me Lekker! Remember: Change your perspective and you can transform your life!

In this episode... How appreciation and  You can also subscribe to my newsletter here: FreshPerspective  Also, download this tool... You can also mail me Lekker! Remember: Change your perspective and you can transform your life! Much Love

In this episode... We talk about how changing your assumptions into suspicions can help resolve conflict. You can also subscribe to my newsletter here: FreshPerspective You can also mail me: francois@vuurdoring.co.zaLekker!Remember: Change your perspective and you can transform your life! Much Love

In this episode... We look at why love is not enough and what impact that might have on our faith and relationships. You can also subscribe to my newsletter here: FreshPerspective  You can also mail me Lekker! Remember: Change your perspective and you can transform your life! Much Love

In this episode... We discuss why you and I should be an acquired taste. And why we struggle to do that. You can also subscribe to my newsletter here: FreshPerspective  Lekker!

In this episode... How do we move from trying to find ourselves to defining ourselves. You can also subscribe to my newsletter here: FreshPerspective  Lekker! Remember: Change your perspective and you can transform your life! Much Love

In this episode... We look at three focus shifts that helps us clarify who we are. You can also subscribe to my newsletter here: FreshPerspective  Lekker! Remember: Change your perspective and you can transform your life! Much Love

In this episode... We ask 3 important questions to help us reflect on Good Friday. You can also subscribe to my newsletter here: FreshPerspective  Lekker! Remember: Change your perspective and you can transform your life! Much Love