Good Children

ONE WEEK UNTIL WE'RE BACK WITH NEW EPISODES! Thanks for your patience

Thank you for your patience as we plan our next season, we'll be back shortly with brand new episodes starting in July! (Happy Pride Month, am I right?) Until then, join us for a weekend in nature that changed our lives forever.* *a few weeks. Join the Patreon community for a brand new episode every Thursday night: patreon.com HOSTS: Joe Hegyes & Andrew Muscarella FOLLOW US ON INSTAGRAM: @goodchildrenpod @joehegyes @andrewmuscarella  FOLLOW US ON TIKTOK: @goodchildrenpod @bequietjoe @andrew_musky Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Thank you for your patience as we plan our next season, we'll be back shortly with brand new episodes starting in July! (Happy Pride Month, am I right?) Until then, join us for a weekend in nature that changed our lives forever.* *a few weeks. Join the Patreon community for a brand new episode every Thursday night: patreon.com HOSTS: Joe Hegyes & Andrew Muscarella FOLLOW US ON INSTAGRAM: @goodchildrenpod @joehegyes @andrewmuscarella FOLLOW US ON TIKTOK: @goodchildrenpod @bequietjoe @andrew_musky

Did you know acapella groups participate in violent hazing rituals? This week we're taking it back to last summer, when Andrew revealed the traumatic story behind his barefooted days as a Loyola Chime. P.S.: We're taking a short break! Join the Patreon community for a brand new episode every Thursday night: patreon.com HOSTS: Joe Hegyes & Andrew Muscarella EDITOR: Kenzie Edmondson FOLLOW US ON INSTAGRAM: @goodchildrenpod @joehegyes @andrewmuscarella FOLLOW US ON TIKTOK: @goodchildrenpod @bequietjoe @andrew_musky

Throwing it back to when we tried to be an educational podcast: "Let's learn to put ourselves out there together: from using the internet to gain notoriety as a middle schooler, to dealing with bullying and humiliation in high school, this episode gets traumatic. The boys talk about body image, their first gay dates, their most embarrassing moments, childhood crushes (Sharkboy), fear of rejection/failure lol, and the full-body experience of an elementary school assembly. P.S.: We're taking a short break! Join the Patreon community for a brand new episode every Thursday night: patreon.com HOSTS: Joe Hegyes & Andrew Muscarella EDITOR: Kenzie Edmondson FOLLOW US ON INSTAGRAM: @goodchildrenpod @joehegyes @andrewmuscarella FOLLOW US ON TIKTOK: @goodchildrenpod @bequietjoe @andrew_musky

Today we're taking it back to a particularly vulnerable conversation on sex. P.S.: We're taking a short break! Join the Patreon community for a brand new episode every Thursday night: patreon.com HOSTS: Joe Hegyes & Andrew Muscarella EDITOR: Kenzie Edmondson FOLLOW US ON INSTAGRAM: @goodchildrenpod @joehegyes @andrewmuscarella FOLLOW US ON TIKTOK: @goodchildrenpod @bequietjoe @andrew_musky

Let's travel back to two summers ago when Andrew shared his military camp story with the world for the very first time. P.S.: We're taking a short break! Join the Patreon community for a brand new episode every Thursday night: patreon.com HOSTS: Joe Hegyes & Andrew Muscarella EDITOR: Kenzie Edmondson FOLLOW US ON INSTAGRAM: @goodchildrenpod @joehegyes @andrewmuscarella FOLLOW US ON TIKTOK: @goodchildrenpod @bequietjoe @andrew_musky

Today we're taking it all the way back to our very first episode, back when we were two delusional twinks with a dream and chronic acid reflux. P.S.: We're taking a short break! Join the Patreon community for a brand new episode every Thursday night: patreon.com HOSTS: Joe Hegyes & Andrew Muscarella EDITOR: Kenzie Edmondson FOLLOW US ON INSTAGRAM: @goodchildrenpod @joehegyes @andrewmuscarella FOLLOW US ON TIKTOK: @goodchildrenpod @bequietjoe @andrew_musky

Today we're celebrating our three year anniversary with a retrospect on all of the historic moments and people we've had the pleasure of experiences in our time as podcasters.P.S.: We're taking a short break! Join the Patreon community for a brand new episode every Thursday night: patreon.com HOSTS: Joe Hegyes & Andrew Muscarella EDITOR: Kenzie Edmondson FOLLOW US ON INSTAGRAM: @goodchildrenpod @joehegyes @andrewmuscarella FOLLOW US ON TIKTOK: @goodchildrenpod @bequietjoe @andrew_musky

HAPPY 29TH BIRTHDAY TO OUR FEARLESS LEADER: Andrew Thee Muscarella. Today we're talking all things birthday. PLUS: Meet Garrett! Join the Patreon community for a brand new episode every Thursday night: patreon.com HOSTS: Joe Hegyes & Andrew Muscarella EDITOR: Kenzie Edmondson FOLLOW US ON INSTAGRAM: @goodchildrenpod @joehegyes @andrewmuscarella FOLLOW US ON TIKTOK: @goodchildrenpod @bequietjoe @andrew_musky

This week we talk about the worst season of all time: spring. Join the Patreon community for a brand new episode every Thursday night: patreon.com HOSTS: Joe Hegyes & Andrew Muscarella EDITOR: Kenzie Edmondson FOLLOW US ON INSTAGRAM: @goodchildrenpod @joehegyes @andrewmuscarella FOLLOW US ON TIKTOK: @goodchildrenpod @bequietjoe @andrew_musky

WE'RE WEBBY NOMINATED VOTE HERE PLEASE!Grab your PJs. Close your eyes. No seriously—close them. This week, we’re diving under the covers to talk about the one thing we all want more of and still somehow sabotage nightly. Join the Patreon community for a brand new episode every Thursday night: patreon.com HOSTS: Joe Hegyes & Andrew Muscarella EDITOR: Kenzie Edmondson FOLLOW US ON INSTAGRAM: @goodchildrenpod @joehegyes @andrewmuscarella FOLLOW US ON TIKTOK: @goodchildrenpod @bequietjoe @andrew_musky

WE'RE WEBBY NOMINATED VOTE HERE PLEASE!This episode is all about something we hold very dear to our hearts. It's long. It’s short. It’s complicated. It’s the root of wars, poems, traffic violations, and bad decisions made in locker rooms, dorm rooms, and boardrooms alike. Join the Patreon community for a brand new episode every Thursday night: patreon.com HOSTS: Joe Hegyes & Andrew Muscarella EDITOR: Kenzie Edmondson FOLLOW US ON INSTAGRAM: @goodchildrenpod @joehegyes @andrewmuscarella FOLLOW US ON TIKTOK: @goodchildrenpod @bequietjoe @andrew_musky

WE'RE WEBBY NOMINATED VOTE HERE PLEASE!This week, for the third time, we are bringing you back to the woods of Long Island, 2012, as Joe and Andrew partake in a life-or-death battle against fellow high schoolers in a dramatic re-enactment of The Hunger Games. Join the Patreon community for a brand new episode every Thursday night: patreon.com HOSTS: Joe Hegyes & Andrew Muscarella EDITOR: Kenzie Edmondson FOLLOW US ON INSTAGRAM: @goodchildrenpod @joehegyes @andrewmuscarella FOLLOW US ON TIKTOK: @goodchildrenpod @bequietjoe @andrew_musky

This week we take a very serious look at zoos as Andrew presses Joe on the ethical boundaries of zookeepers and Joe argues for the proper care and conservation of endangered species. No, we’re not kidding, that’s what the episode is about. Join the Patreon community for a brand new episode every Thursday night: patreon.com HOSTS: Joe Hegyes & Andrew Muscarella EDITOR: Kenzie Edmondson FOLLOW US ON INSTAGRAM: @goodchildrenpod @joehegyes @andrewmuscarella FOLLOW US ON TIKTOK: @goodchildrenpod @bequietjoe @andrew_musky

This week we bring you along for the ride of a lifetime as we talk through our most recent set of live shows in the midwest. From a rental car debacle that almost ended in disaster to an elevator experience some could describe as impossible, we made it through by the skin of our teeth and the synthetic fibers of our Chappell Roan wigs. Join the Patreon community for a brand new episode every Thursday night: patreon.com HOSTS: Joe Hegyes & Andrew Muscarella EDITOR: Kenzie Edmondson FOLLOW US ON INSTAGRAM: @goodchildrenpod @joehegyes @andrewmuscarella FOLLOW US ON TIKTOK: @goodchildrenpod @bequietjoe @andrew_musky

This week we talk about our very complicated relationship to the internet, dating back to the dawn of social media and all the way up to the present day, where it’s lowkey our entire livelihood (and what that means for our mental health). We also talk about the addictive quality of going viral and how we secretly compare ourselves to each other. What happens when you think don’t measure up to your best friend? Join the Patreon community for a brand new episode every Thursday night: patreon.com HOSTS: Joe Hegyes & Andrew Muscarella EDITOR: Kenzie Edmondson FOLLOW US ON INSTAGRAM: @goodchildrenpod @joehegyes @andrewmuscarella FOLLOW US ON TIKTOK: @goodchildrenpod @bequietjoe @andrew_musky

Today we tackle wellness culture: from experiments in goop to cauliflower crust ending with some positive affirmations by Pharrell Williams. Join the Patreon community for a brand new episode every Thursday night: patreon.com HOSTS: Joe Hegyes & Andrew Muscarella EDITOR: Kenzie Edmondson FOLLOW US ON INSTAGRAM: @goodchildrenpod @joehegyes @andrewmuscarella FOLLOW US ON TIKTOK: @goodchildrenpod @bequietjoe @andrew_musky

Today we're joined by Gay Long Island Podcast Royalty: Jon Lovett. From a career in political speechwriting to a stint on Survivor, Jon traces his life back to his roots: a suburban upbringing on Long Island, New York. Join the Patreon community for a brand new episode every Thursday night: patreon.com HOSTS: Joe Hegyes & Andrew Muscarella EDITOR: Kenzie Edmondson FOLLOW US ON INSTAGRAM: @goodchildrenpod @joehegyes @andrewmuscarella FOLLOW US ON TIKTOK: @goodchildrenpod @bequietjoe @andrew_musky

LAST CHANCE Tickets for Indianapolis, Chicago, and Madison HERE!! TW: Diet Culture, Body Image, and, girlllll, just some typical self-hating gays. Today we move through our journeys with fitness as we giggle and gab about workout classes. From the dark room of SoulCyle to the comfort of an at-home workout, we’ve pretty much tried everything once. Certified Personal Trainer & Fitness Coach, Andrew, talks about his complicated relationship with the fitness world and Joe worries he might be regressing to a less body positive era of his life. You’ll laugh, you’ll cry, you’ll immediately want to sign up for Patreon for a brand new bonus episode EVERY SINGLE THURSDAY AT 8PM EST! Join the Patreon community for a brand new episode every Thursday night: patreon.com HOSTS: Joe Hegyes & Andrew Muscarella FOLLOW US ON INSTAGRAM: @goodchildrenpod @joehegyes @andrewmuscarella FOLLOW US ON TIKTOK: @goodchildrenpod @bequietjoe @andrew_musky

This week, we are back on the timeless subject of Valentine’s Day. Joe and Andrew discuss angel food cake, the devil, Instagram flirting tactics, Hailee Steinfeld, Hailee Steinfeld’s dad, Sia’s Jamaican patois, and the mental and emotional state of one of our perpetually Valentine-less hosts, who will remain unnamed. Tickets for Indianapolis, Chicago, and Madison HERE!! Join the Patreon community for a brand new episode every Thursday night: patreon.com HOSTS: Joe Hegyes & Andrew Muscarella FOLLOW US ON INSTAGRAM: @goodchildrenpod @joehegyes @andrewmuscarella FOLLOW US ON TIKTOK: @goodchildrenpod @bequietjoe @andrew_musky

This week we're joined by our IRL besties, Grant Gibbs and Ashley Gill AKA A Twink and a Redhead! We talk about our parallel lives growing up together in the tri-state area, our joint love of chain restaurants, and getting to know each other as neighbors in Brooklyn! GRANT AND ASH ARE JOINING US IN CHICAGO! Tickets for that show, Indianapolis, and Madison HERE!! Join the Patreon community for a brand new episode every Thursday night: patreon.com HOSTS: Joe Hegyes & Andrew Muscarella FOLLOW US ON INSTAGRAM: @goodchildrenpod @joehegyes @andrewmuscarella FOLLOW US ON TIKTOK: @goodchildrenpod @bequietjoe @andrew_musky

Today we're talking CRUISING!!!!! Specifically the family vacation we took together in 2022 that was anything but smooth sailing. Chicago, Indianapolis, and Madison tour tickets HERE!! Join the Patreon community for a brand new episode every Thursday night: patreon.com HOSTS: Joe Hegyes & Andrew Muscarella FOLLOW US ON INSTAGRAM: @goodchildrenpod @joehegyes @andrewmuscarella FOLLOW US ON TIKTOK: @goodchildrenpod @bequietjoe @andrew_musky

This week, get a look behind the Patreon Paywall with a very special episode, where Andrew tells Joe all about the life and death of legendary film star Shirley Temple. Chicago, Indianapolis, and Madison tour tickets HERE!! Join the Patreon community for a brand new episode every Thursday night: patreon.com HOSTS: Joe Hegyes & Andrew Muscarella FOLLOW US ON INSTAGRAM: @goodchildrenpod @joehegyes @andrewmuscarella FOLLOW US ON TIKTOK: @goodchildrenpod @bequietjoe @andrew_musky

Ben Platt joins the boys for an honest conversation about anxiety, aspirations, and The Search for Elle Woods. Chicago, Indianapolis, and Madison tour tickets HERE!! Join the Patreon community for a brand new episode every Thursday night: patreon.com HOSTS: Joe Hegyes & Andrew Muscarella FOLLOW US ON INSTAGRAM: @goodchildrenpod @joehegyes @andrewmuscarella FOLLOW US ON TIKTOK: @goodchildrenpod @bequietjoe @andrew_musky

Today the boys discuss the timeless hell that is a sleepover. Chicago, Indianapolis, and Madison tour tickets HERE!! Join the Patreon community for a brand new episode every Thursday night: patreon.com HOSTS: Joe Hegyes & Andrew Muscarella FOLLOW US ON INSTAGRAM: @goodchildrenpod @joehegyes @andrewmuscarella FOLLOW US ON TIKTOK: @goodchildrenpod @bequietjoe @andrew_musky

Happy Nude Year! After a life-changing three day visit to a Korean Spa in Los Angeles, the boys discuss the complications of being in touch with their own bodies, with stories from middle school to Melbourne, Australia. Chicago, Indianapolis, and Madison tour tickets HERE!! Join the Patreon community for a brand new episode every Thursday night: patreon.com HOSTS: Joe Hegyes & Andrew Muscarella FOLLOW US ON INSTAGRAM: @goodchildrenpod @joehegyes @andrewmuscarella  FOLLOW US ON TIKTOK: @goodchildrenpod @bequietjoe @andrew_musky  

Merry Christmas to AWLL! Today Cindy Lou Who and The Grinch work it out on the remix before Joe and Andrew dive into their storied history with The Grinch. From elaborately themed experiential walkthroughs at summer camp, to unsolicited visits in college, all the way to the fateful Grinch impersonator that changed Snowchella forever. Chicago, Indianapolis, and Madison tour tickets HERE!! Join the Patreon community for a brand new episode every Thursday night: patreon.com HOSTS: Joe Hegyes & Andrew Muscarella FOLLOW US ON INSTAGRAM: @goodchildrenpod @joehegyes @andrewmuscarella FOLLOW US ON TIKTOK: @goodchildrenpod @bequietjoe @andrew_musky

Today we're joined by the icon who made this podcast possible: Ilana Glazer. We discuss growing up on Long Island, weed-induced anxiety attacks, motherhood, working with your best friend, and Ilana's latest project; "Human Magic" out December 20th on Hulu & Disney+. Chicago, Indianapolis, and Madison tour tickets HERE!! Join the Patreon community for a brand new episode every Thursday night: patreon.com HOSTS: Joe Hegyes & Andrew Muscarella FOLLOW US ON INSTAGRAM: @goodchildrenpod @joehegyes @andrewmuscarella FOLLOW US ON TIKTOK: @goodchildrenpod @bequietjoe @andrew_musky

Is it ethical to raise children under the threat of Santa Claus? Today we join Buddy the Elf and Santa Claws himself for a discussion on Santa Claus... the good.. the bad.. and the freaks! Go to ROCKETRX.COM and enter code: GOODCHILDREN at checkout for 40% off your first order. Terms and conditions apply. Chicago, Indianapolis, and Madison tour tickets HERE!! Join the Patreon community for a brand new episode every Thursday night: patreon.com HOSTS: Joe Hegyes & Andrew Muscarella FOLLOW US ON INSTAGRAM: @goodchildrenpod @joehegyes @andrewmuscarella  FOLLOW US ON TIKTOK: @goodchildrenpod @bequietjoe @andrew_musky  

WE'RE GOING ON TOUR! Chicago, Indianapolis, and Madison tickets here! Join us on Patreon for a bonus episode every Thursday night! Head to FACTORMEALS.com/50goodchildren and use code 50goodchildren to get 50% off your first box plus free shipping! Today we join Nora and Luther Krank as they prepare for the surprise homecoming of their grown-ass daughter Blair, who ruins their beautiful Virgin Voyages getaway. Then, we discuss, in deep psychological measures, what it takes to be a Christmas Caroler. We round out the episode by processing all twelve days of Christmas.

WE'RE GOING ON TOUR! Chicago, Indianapolis, and Madison tickets here! Join us on Patreon for a bonus episode every Thursday night!

WE'RE GOING ON TOUR!! Chicago, Indianapolis, and Madison tickets HERE! Today Joe explains why fish are birds, we discuss Thanksgiving as a concept, and the boys ideate on a new ice cream flavor that will change the trajectory of their lives. For a bonus episode every Friday plus access to 100+ extra episodes, join us on Patreon for $7 a month! Use code GOODCHILDREN at RocketRX.com for 40% off your first order: https://rebrand.ly/6615b2 HOSTS: Joe Hegyes & Andrew Muscarella MORE: https://linktr.ee/goodchildren FOLLOW US ON INSTAGRAM: @joehegyes @andrewmuscarella FOLLOW US ON TIKTOK:  @goodchildrenpod @bequietjoe @andrew_musky

WE'RE GOING ON TOUR!! Chicago, Indianapolis, and Madison tickets HERE! For a bonus episode every Friday plus access to 100+ extra episodes, join us on Patreon for $7 a month! RECORDED PRE-ELECTION: Today we discuss the technicalities of what it means to be a gay person, from coming to terms to coming out. Use code GOODCHILDREN at RocketRX.com for 40% off your first order: https://rebrand.ly/6615b2 HOSTS: Joe Hegyes & Andrew Muscarella MORE: https://linktr.ee/goodchildren   FOLLOW US ON INSTAGRAM: @joehegyes @andrewmuscarella FOLLOW US ON TIKTOK:  @goodchildrenpod @bequietjoe @andrew_musky

An early release for some much needed distraction right about now

WE'RE GOING ON TOUR!! Chicago, Indianapolis, and Madison tickets here! For a bonus episode every Friday plus access to 100+ extra episodes, join us on Patreon for $7 a month! Today, we're diving into the wild aftermath of weekend debauchery—why we keep saying “never again” but somehow still show up in the same places every Friday night. We're talking side effects of partying that nobody tells you about (hint: it's not just the hangover) and The Hunger Games... again. 

WE'RE GOING ON TOUR!! Chicago, Indianapolis, and Madison tickets here! For a bonus episode every Friday plus access to 100+ extra episodes, join us on Patreon for $7 a month! This week we listen to horror stories from our beautiful, sexy, gorgeous Patrons and then share a few of our own!

WE'RE GOING ON TOUR!!  Chicago, Indianapolis, and Madison tickets here: https://linktr.ee/goodchildren!   For a bonus episode every Friday plus access to 100+ extra episodes, join us on Patreon for $7 a month: https://www.patreon.com/goodchildrenpod   This week the boys sit down to discuss taking a sick day, something they haven't done since May 4th, 2022. Andrew breaks down his will to cheat in religious education, then takes Joe to confession.

WE'RE GOING ON TOUR!! PRESALE CODE ON PATREON!Chicago, Indianapolis, & Madison, you're up firstGet your tickets here! For a bonus episode every Friday plus access to 100+ extra episodes, join us on Patreon for $7 a month. Get ready to SWEAT, this week we're talking about Charli xcx, Troye Sivan, and other dynamic duos. We also get into our own personal best friends, sharing stories and reflections on relationships outside of each other for once. Plus, Andrew shares some trauma. Use code goodchildren50 at factormeals.com/goodchildren50 to get 50% off your first box plus 20% off your next month!

For a bonus episode every Friday plus access to 100+ extra episodes, join us on Patreon for $7 a month: https://www.patreon.com/goodchildrenpod This week, Agatha Cromwell sits down with her granddaughter Marnie Piper for the first time publicly since 2004 in a shockingly tense, no-holds-barred conversation about the state of their family, the nation, and their future, mere weeks before Agatha is doomed to leave this mortal realm forever. Marnie reveals Agatha was a combative and difficult coworker, Agatha reveals the unbelievable truth about not only Marnie's father but also her grandfather. Go to ROCKETRX.COM and enter code: GOODCHILDREN at checkout for 20% off your first order!

For a bonus episode every Friday plus access to 100+ extra episodes, join us on Patreon for $7 a month @ goodchildrenpod! We're talking about fall/Gilmore Girls/apple picking for the third consecutive year in a row but this time our opinions fall into a slightly more controversial category. Is apple picking really worth the hype? What exactly does it mean to pick a pumpkin? Is Rory Gilmore apolitical? All this and more. Cut your wireless bill to 15 bucks a month at MINTMOBILE.com/GOODCHILDREN. For FREE breakfast for life go to HelloFresh.com/freegoodchildren. FOLLOW US ON INSTAGRAM: goodchildrenpod FOLLOW US ON TIKTOK:goodchildrenpod

For a bonus episode every Friday plus access to 100+ extra episodes, join us on Patreon for $7 a month! This week we're joined by the iconic Yasmine Sahid for a discussion on Disney Channel and destiny. In what has been described, by us, as the best episode of the podcast, Yasmine recounts auditions as a child, the expectations vs. reality of moving to LA, and her most toxic job.  Upgrade your wardrobe with pieces made to last with Quince. Go to Quince.com/goodchildren for free shipping on your order and 365-day returns.   

For a bonus episode every Friday plus access to 100+ extra episodes, join us on Patreon for $7 a month! This week we discuss the trials and tribulations of early college years. From standardized testing to public bathrooms, messy roommates, and everything in between. For FREE breakfast for life go to HelloFresh.com/freegoodchildren! Go to ROCKETRX.COM and enter code: GOODCHILDREN at checkout for 20% off your first order!  

For a bonus episode every Friday plus access to 100+ extra episodes, join us on Patreon for $7 a month! This week we take you on a retrospective of some of our favorite family vacations, including the fateful trip to Orlando where Andrew surprised Joe on his 14th birthday.  Be your most comfortable self this fall with MeUndies. Get 20% off your first order, plus free shipping, at MeUndies.com/goodchildren.   

For a bonus episode every Friday plus access to 100+ extra episodes, join us on Patreon for $7 a month! This week we are joined by the legendary man behind the greenscreen: Kelon Campbell, face of Terri Joe. We chat about growing up gay, doing scary things, vampires, ghosts, mediums, and Madonna.  Head to CRAPEYEWEAR.COM/GOODCHILDREN and enter code: GOODCHILDREN at checkout for 25% off your first order! Cut your wireless bill to 15 bucks a month at MINTMOBILE.COM/GOODCHILDREN! $45 upfront payment required (equivalent to $15/mo.). New customers on first 3 month plan only. Speeds slower above 40GB on Unlimited plan. Additional taxes, fees, & restrictions apply. See MINT MOBILE for details.

For a bonus episode every Friday plus access to 100+ extra episodes, join us on Patreon for $7 a month! This week we talk about the diet culture of the 2000s that made us the insecure freaks we are today. From Weight Watchers to Jenny Craig all the way down to South Beach and Atkins. PLUS: another harrowing story from Andrew.  Head to CRAPEYEWEAR.COM/GOODCHILDREN and enter code: GOODCHILDREN at checkout for 25% off your first order! Go to ROCKETRX.COM and enter code: GOODCHILDREN at checkout for 20% off your first order!

Get exclusive bonus episodes every Friday for $7 a month on Patreon! Today we just rank some fruit to be honest. Call in for advice or with a question at (516) 366-0826! Get 20% off your first order at MeUndies, plus free shipping, at MeUndies.com/goodchildren. Get free breakfast FOR LIFE, just by going to HelloFresh.com/freegoodchildren.

Get exclusive bonus episodes every Friday for $7 a month on Patreon! Another episode about bottoming what else is new? This week we cover some sensitive subjects about sensitive areas... PLUS: TikTok Shop, Crumbl Cookies, gooning, coconut oil, girth extenders, African Net Sponges, vegetables in orifices, Andrew's dating life, and proper hygiene. Call in for advice or with a question at (516) 366-0826! Go to Quince.com/goodchildren for free shipping on your order and 365-day returns! Head to FACTORMEALS.com/goodchildren50 and use code goodchildren50 to get 50% off your first box plus 20% off your next month!   

Get exclusive bonus episodes every Friday for $7 a month on Patreon. After discovering a new archive of home videos, Joe comes to the crushing realization that he is quickly hurtling toward the same age his parents were when they started having children. What follows is a chaotic, heavy, and strange conversation about the inescapable reality of getting older, just in time for Joe's birthday. Call in for advice or with a question at (516)366-0826!

This week is all about our favorite subject: food. We talk foods we love, foods we hate, our last meals, our most recent meals, and, randomly, imposter syndrome in your early 20s. Call in: (516) 366-0826 Get exclusive bonus episodes every Friday for $7 a month on Patreon!

Get access to BONUS episodes every Friday on Patreon! This week let's talk about weed induced psychosis! The boys share their most unhinged weed stories including hallucinations, Snapchat stories, and an ill-fated first date to The Hamptons.