RelateWell with Dr. Rick Marks

Dr. Rick discusses six essential traits for healthy and mature relationships.  He provides an application of these six in love relationships, parenting, and at work.  

Unhealthy and immature adults tend to make unhealthy decisions and unwise choices.  Yet, research is clear that the more emotionally mature we become, we tend to make decisions based on wisdom, and not simply on what is right and wrong.  What are these two traits, and how do they interact?  What hinders emotional maturity and wisdom?  Dr. Rick explains...

Self control is listed as a fruit of the Spirit.  Yet, ever noticed that some non-Christians have strong self-control and some Christians do not.  Dr. Rick shares some principles regarding self-control and self-regulation that makes it a crucial element of emotional maturity and emotional intelligence.

It is essential that we forgive.  However, many assume that when they forgive the pain from the event will go away. It does not.  Forgiveness is essential for healing and once we forgive, the pain can now heal.  Healing from the pain takes time and intenionality.

Dr. Riok discusses some guidelines to consider as you live your life in intimate and connected relationships.

Dr. Rick reads from a treatise by David Schnark on why a good marriage will break your heart.  Tune in...

Have you ever considered that those who choose to live comfortably and never having taken risks have not lived life to the fullest.  The choose security over growth.  All growth takes risk.

Dr. Rick considers ten pieces of advice to help you have a healthy and mature marriage and relationship.

All relationships change over time and must adapt to changing situations.  They must also adapt to the changes in our spouses.  

Humility is a powerful way to life life and is a hallmark for living maturely.  Yet, there are different forms of humility.  Dr. Rick explains each of these forms and how they express themselves.

There is a healthy and mature form of pride which is rooted in humility.  Yet, there is another form of pride that leads to a haughty spirit, arrogance, and a sense that one is better than others. Pride harms others and relationships whereas, humility is a more powerful way to live one's life.  Dr. Rick explains...

Dr. Lori Gordon alked about beliefs that are irrational that knot our ability to love others maturely.  She called these Love Knots.  Dr. Gordon identified 52 of these in one of her books.  Dr. Rick discusses some of the leading love knots.  

Ever considred that surrendering could be a position of strength and not weakness?  Surrendering is about checking our egos and staying in humility and know what I can and can not control.  Surrender results in mature connections with God, Self and Others.  

Did you know that your ability to love others maturely is linked to your ability to love yourself?  And that when we feel we do not have value, we matter or are loved or loveable, we sink into low self worth and self esteem.  But what if God has declared us valuable, that we matter and that we are loved and loveable?  What difference would it make to your life and relationships?  Dr. Rick explains.

We are all adept at negative thinking about ourselves and sadly, many preachers reinforce this negative mindset on the parishoners and congregations. Yet Psalm 139 tells us something different.

Dr. Rick talks about the powerful life of a humble person and the types of humility that research indicates.  Do you live from humility or a prideful way of being?

Ever noticed that something you said you wish you could take back or at least had said it some other way? When in conflict and frustration we make statements that do not lead to connection and understanding, but disconnection, hurt and misunderstanding.  Dr. Rick identifies 41 statements people say in conflict (Do not Say This) and reveals a better way to say it (Say This Instead).  Tune in.

Psalm 68 tells us that God puts the lonely in families.  But what if your family was not a safe place.  What if families are not safe for the lonely to find and experience true love?  What if the church is not a place for healthy connection for the lonely to be placed in?  Dr. Rick talks from his personal experience of the true meaning of the arabic word, "asabiya" and how this transformed his life and that of his family.  Is your family a place of love and deep connection for God to place the lonely to find love and acceptance?  To not be lonely anymore?

Humans were created for connection, intimate connection with God, Self and Others.  Without these essential human biological needs being met (the need for bonding, connection, intimacy) we experience relational pain and move in to loneliness.  And it is not good for mankind to be alone.  I know!  I grew up this way.  Dr. Rick shares from a message he presented at Wellspring Church in Hartford, WI on the need for community, the essentialness of family, and that family is not necessarily one's bloodline or by marriage.  Using the araba word "asabiya" Dr. Rick explores a broader meaning of family and is essential for the church to understand.

Immaturity is rampant today in our society. We have trainings on emotional intelligence, etc.  This is all langauge for immaturity.  Emotional immaturity to be specific.  And I used to be an emotional child and dealt with issues in childish ways in my early years as a chronological adult.  What did I do to resolve this issue?  My value system I live by now for almost 25 years and continues today.  It is my way of being!  What is it?  I call it H=REG.  Tune in.  Take notes.  Transform your personal life and your relationships.  It is a guarantee.

I think the Righteous Brothers were right: you've lost that loving feeling.  Many today teach that love is not an emotion, but rather a choice or a decision.  Dr. Rick argues that love is an emotion and must be understood and embraced as an emotion in order to have deep, intimate and healthy connections.  And this does not apply to romanctic relationships only, but to all relationships.  

There are four questions every person needs answered in order to become a healthy, mature, and caring individual.  Dr. Rick shares his own personal journey regarding these four questions and the challenges and joys of walking the path to healing and finding affirmation in the 4 questions.

This message given in Nassau, Bahamas at a church on Sunday morning provides insight into the relational dynamics of what happened in the Garden of Eden and healthy relationships.  

Dr. Rick shared his testimony on his journey of healing from his father wound at a regional conference for the Association for Marriage and Family Ministry.  

Humility and empathy is required to become a mature leader, a mature adult and to be effective relationally in all relationships.  Yet, humility still seems to be elusive to most as it appears to most as weakness.  Yet, research is clear that to live a life of humility is to live powerfully.  Dr. Rick and Angelia discuss the definition of humility, it's traits and how to identify it.  Accordingly, they discuss what it takes to become a humble and mature individual.  This is the second of two parts where Dr. Rick and Angelia cover the traits of mature individuals.

Humility and empathy is erquired to become a mature leader, a mature adult and to be effective relationally in all relationships.  Yet, humility still seems to be elusive to most as it appears to most as weakness.  Yet, research is clear that to live a life of humility is to live powerfully.  Dr. Rick and Angelia discuss the definition of humility, it's traits and how to identify it.  Accordingly, they discuss what it takes to become a humble and mature individual.

Harvard has a center that studies human flourishing.  There is a national intitiative that uses the domains for human flourishing as a foundation for helping ministers to flourish.  Human flourishing has been studied by many and these agree that there are six domains to human flourishing.  Dr. Rick and Angelia discuss flourishing and the six domains and how we can flourish in our own lives and relationships.

It is 2023 and many folks love to make new year resolutions.  It almost seems a tradition that many feel they have to perform.  Yet, many do not make resolutions?  What re the most common resolutions?  Do most people complete their resolutions?  And what are the arguements against making resolutions?  Dr. Rick and Angelia explore these ideas and concepts around this annual conversation.

Many adult children do not respect their parents today with an increase in abuse, neglect, and disrespect growing.  What was the relationship like between Jesus and his mother, Mary?  What can we learn from this?  Are traditional roles of men and women affecting this trend in neglect?  Dr. Rick and Angelia are joined by Roger Henderson to discuss.

Holidays have a tendency to be stressful for many reasons.  Dr. Rick and Angelia take on this subject so families can enjoy the meaning of the holiday without the stressors that take away from that meaning.  

Research for over a generation reveals the devestating effects of divorce on the couple as well as the children and family.  Divorce also has devestating effects on society.  What are the effects of divorce and what can a couple do to turn hurt and pain into love again?  Dr. Rick and Angelia discuss in part two of the series as well as how a RelateWell Relationship Intensive can heal a hurting marriage.  Learn more about the intensives at www.drrickmarks.com.

Research for over a generation reveals the devestating effects of divorce on the couple as well as the children and family.  Divorce also has devestating effects on society.  What are the effects of divorce and what can a couple do to turn hurt and pain into love again?  Dr. Rick and Angelia discuss in this two part series.

In our wedding vows we vow to love til death, yet that is not a vow most adhere to today in culture.  It is more like,  "til death do us part or I am no longer happy."  Yet, research reveals that longevity and commitment in marriage has many mental health and relational benefits.  Dr. Rick and Angelia explore why commitent to love in marriage til death is better.

Just as individuals have a developmental cycle that they go through, so do families.  Borrowing from family systems theory and Scripture, Dr. Rick and Angelia identify the stages of family life from single adult to end of life and all the developmental stages inbetween.  

More and more in mainstream media outlets we are hearing about the prevelance of childhood sexual abuse by church leaders and pastors.  And just as prevalent is the cover up of sexual abuse by church leaders.  Dr. Rick and Angelia discuss the role of the church and family in clergy sex abuse, how to identify these predatorial pastors and the actions necessary to protect our children.

Dr. Rick speaks at Calvary Baptist Church in Nassau on how to handle broken relationships and how faith can become a healthy and mature way to heal one's self and gain understanding of the brokenness.  

Dr. Ricks shared his story of healing and growing from a deep father wound at a conference for champions for marriage and family.  Dr. Rick talks candidly about his journey and how his childhood and God's healing turned his life around.

We tend to see rejection as a negative.  Let's be honest, who wants to be rejected?  But did you know that there is a beautiful side of rejection?  Dr. Rick and Angelia reveal when rejection can be beneficial for a marriage.  Take notes as they reveal the things you want to reject for a healthy marriage and relationship.

Is love bomnbing healthy when you meet someone?  Is it a sign of potential nacrissism?  What does it mean and how can it be harmful?  Also, what role does humor play in a healthy marriage?  Dr. Rick and Angelia tackle these topics in this episode of RelateWell with Dr. Rick Marks.

Every relationship has its struggles and sometime love gets lost.  Or as the song says at someone lost that lovin feeling!  When couples relationships suffer from lost love over time they tend to create more hurt.  Angelia and Dr. Rick discuss ways to show love which will lead to reconnection and a renewed sense of Us!  Tune in...

Dr. Rick and Angelia tackle the subject regarding the emotional connection and bonds between women and men and are joined by their Producer, Roger.  Do men love as deeply as women?  Listen in and learn...

Dr. Rick and Angelia contnue the discussion of the different forms of emotional neglect and their effects on one personally and relationally.  They then explore the concept of Self-Worth as being linked to emotional wellbeing and one's understanding of their belief that they exist, have needs, and are entitled to their needs being met in healthy and mature manners.  Part 2 looks at the way we misunderstand our emotions, how to use the rational mind to regulate the emotion brain, and how hugging and affection lead to increasing self-worth.

Dr. Rick and Angelia discuss the different forms of emotional neglect and their effects on one personally and relationally.  They then explore the concept of Self-Worth as being linked to emotional wellbeing and one's understanding of their belief that they exist, have needs, and are entitled to their needs being met in healthy and mature manners.

Planning a wedding takes a lot and is really for just a day.  Planning a marriage is more important as this is more than the wedding day; it is preparation for a lifetime of love and togetherness.  It is the development of Us.  Research reveals the benefit of premarital counseling and education to couples and Dr. Rick and Angelia explore the value of premarital counseling.  Dr. Rick says it is more about the 50 year plan than the 5 year plan.  Tune in!

Marriage and relationships can be wonderful, thriving, connecting, intimate, spontaneous, passionate and loving and mature.  However, assumptions can create hurt and damage over time.  There are common assumptions that couples make in their relationship that creates hurt and pain over time and can damage not just each other, but each person's heart as well.  Dr. Rick and Angelia explore these assumptions and what to do different.

Dr. Rick talks about his history of growth and how four words kept coming to him as a way to life his life in order to live a healthy and mature inner peace and a strong relational Usness with his wife and others.  These four words he identifies as the equation H=REG: Humility = Respect, Empathy and Goodwill.  Dr. Rick and Angelia discuss the core values of RelateWell and how they impact one's life towards healthy and loving mature relationships and emotional maturity.

Spirituality is a growing discussion today in life and health.  The 12-Steps of AA is based on spiritual principles.  Many write on and seek a spiritual life to find their peace and healthy relationships.  Spirituality is hard to define however.  Dr. Rick and Angelia discuss spirituality, its various types, and how it impacts one's individual and relational life.

Many preachers and teachers instruct that love is an action, a decision, and not an emotion.  How would you like acting loving towards someone you have no feelings of love for?  Dr. Rick and Angelia discuss the nature of love as an emotion and the idea that the feelings of love are based on how you treat another person consistently.

Fatherlessness, both physical and emotional, is a national problem and the effects of absent fathers has a greater negative effect on boys than girls.  Dr. Rick and Angelia discuss the nature of fatherlessness and its effects on children, in particular boys.

Jackie Hatcher is the wife of retired US Army Special Forces soldier, Eddie.  They spent over 20 years on active duty as a married couple and went through many challenges.  They learned together how to have a healthy and loving marriage and family in the context of military life.  Jackie shares with Dr. Rick her experiences and what she learned along the journey in order to have a strong and healthy marriage and family in the midst of the structures, deployments and unknowns of military family life.

Retired Navy Chaplain Scott Schubert spent many years in the Navy and some of those in Iraq.  He ministered to military families and not just those in the U S Navy.  Chaplain Scott shares with Dr. Rick (himself a Navy veteran)  the challenges and blessings of military families and how to navigate through those challenges to develop a loving and caring marriage and family.