The Widowed Mom Podcast

In this episode, I'm addressing the productivity pressure that so many widows face - that nagging feeling that you should be doing more, moving faster, or getting back to normal. This isn't just about recognizing the pressure; it's about understanding how deeply our culture has tied our sense of worth to our output.   Join me this week to discover how to identify when productivity pressure is affecting your grief process, even when you think you're just being realistic. I share specific questions to help you examine your beliefs about rest and worthiness, and most importantly, you'll learn why slowing down isn't failure - it's actually essential for processing grief.   Get full show notes, transcript, and more information here: https://www.coachingwithkrista.com/317

While cleaning light fixtures in my home, I discovered layers of built-up dirt that had dimmed what were actually crystal-clear glass fixtures. For years, I had accepted the clouded appearance as normal, never questioning if something better lay beneath. This simple household revelation sparked a powerful metaphor for how we often settle into life after loss.   I understand firsthand how we can unknowingly plateau in our grief journey. We reach a point where we're functioning and surviving, but not truly thriving.    If you feel like you're in a grief plateau - that space after the sharp edge of loss has dulled, but life still feels flat and uninspired - this episode is for you.   Get full show notes, transcript, and more information here: https://www.coachingwithkrista.com/316

As I navigate intense emotions using my regular tapping practice, I've noticed a common pattern that many of us fall into during grief - attempting to smooth over difficult feelings with gratitude.    While gratitude is undeniably powerful and beneficial, I've observed how it can sometimes become a way to bypass emotions that need to be felt and processed. Tune in this week to learn how you might be unconsciously using gratitude as a shield against experiencing the full depth of your grief.   Get full show notes, transcript, and more information here: https://www.coachingwithkrista.com/315

Living a full and meaningful life after loss isn't about waiting until you feel completely ready - it's about recognizing the subtle signs that you're prepared to take those first steps forward.   Many widowed moms find themselves in what I call a "grief plateau." If this is you, it's time to move beyond merely surviving to truly thriving. In this episode, I explore the five key signs that suggest you're more ready than you think to love life again, even if uncertainty and sadness still linger.   Get full show notes, transcript, and more information here: https://www.coachingwithkrista.com/314

Is true happiness possible without pursuing another romantic relationship? This is a question many widows contemplate privately.    In this episode, I break down what it means to build a steady, loving relationship with yourself and how to create genuine fulfillment as a widow. I discuss why rushing into dating from a place of discomfort can lead to settling for less than you deserve, and share practical ways to develop a sense of wholeness that isn't dependent on having a partner.   Get full show notes, transcript, and more information here: https://www.coachingwithkrista.com/313

In this raw and unfiltered conversation, I sit down with my client Janet Lea who shares her experience of grief after losing her wife of 43 years. Janet's perspective is fresh—she's approaching the one-year mark since Mary Lou's passing—and her insights are both heartbreaking and illuminating.   Join us this week as Janet lets us in on the realities of grief—from the unexpected ways it manifests physically to the well-intentioned but unhelpful things people say. Whether you're newly widowed or supporting someone who is, Janet's story offers valuable insights about navigating loss, asking for help, and finding your way forward without a roadmap.   Get full show notes, transcript, and more information here: https://www.coachingwithkrista.com/312  

“Am I doing this wrong?” The question haunts so many of us on our grief journey. We look around at other widows, compare our progress to arbitrary timelines, and wonder if our unique experience somehow means we're failing at grief.   In this episode, I tackle the common fear that there's a "right way" to grieve and explain where this anxiety actually comes from.    Join me this week as I explore the pressure to grieve according to societal expectations, the common fears of grieving “wrong” or not doing enough, and questions to ask yourself instead of focusing on whether you're grieving correctly.   Get full show notes, transcript, and more information here: https://www.coachingwithkrista.com/311

Have you ever wondered why grief feels so physical? Why your heart races, your sleep vanishes, and your body aches when you're mourning the loss of someone you love?    In this illuminating episode, I welcome back renowned grief researcher Dr. Mary-Frances O'Connor to discuss her new book, The Grieving Body, which explores the profound physical impact of grief. Dr. O'Connor explains that grief isn't just emotional—it's deeply embodied. When we lose someone we love, it's like an amputation; part of our physical regulatory system is suddenly gone.    Get full show notes, transcript, and more information here: https://www.coachingwithkrista.com/310

Are you filling every hour of your day since your partner died?   Maybe well-meaning friends have advised you to “just stay busy” or “give it time” as if these are magical solutions to grief. While staying busy can provide temporary relief, it might actually be keeping you stuck in your grief journey without you even realizing it.   Staying busy can feel like a way to maintain control when everything else feels unpredictable. But there's a crucial difference between healthy distraction and avoidance. Today, I'm exploring when busyness supports us and when it's a form of avoidance that takes us further from the life we want to build next.   Get full show notes, transcript, and more information here: https://www.coachingwithkrista.com/309

What happens when the life you thought was perfect suddenly shatters?   In this week's episode, I sit down with Jo Kleinsorge, who lost her high school sweetheart to suicide two years ago. Their life seemed picture-perfect on the surface - financially stable, healthy kids, world travelers, surrounded by great friends. But in an instant, everything changed.   Get full show notes, transcript, and more information here: https://www.coachingwithkrista.com/308

Do you find yourself trying to control everything in your life since losing your person?   If so, I want you to know that this is completely normal, especially after loss. Our need to control often comes from a deep desire to feel safe when our world has been turned upside down.   But here's the truth: trying to control what we can't control is exhausting. It's like trying to hold onto sand - the tighter we grip, the more it slips through our fingers.   In this episode, I explore why we feel compelled to control everything after loss, the hidden costs of this behavior, and how to find true power without control.   Get full show notes, transcript, and more information here: https://www.coachingwithkrista.com/307

Do you look outside at the blooming flowers and singing birds and wonder why you don't feel as bright and cheerful as the season suggests you should?   You're not alone.   Sometimes spring brings up a very different kind of tension - when everything outside looks light and beautiful, but inside, it feels heavy and tender. Maybe even dark.   In this week's episode, I'm getting vulnerable and sharing my own experience with this seasonal disconnect, along with some gentle reminders that I think we all need to hear.   Get full show notes, transcript, and more information here: https://www.coachingwithkrista.com/306

How often are you pushing yourself to the point of exhaustion?   For many widows, juggling work, children, household responsibilities, and grief creates a perfect storm where taking breaks seems impossible.    In this episode, I share the warning signs that your body and mind desperately need rest, how to redefine what a "break" actually means, and why making rest non-negotiable is essential for your wellbeing.   Get full show notes, transcript, and more information here: https://www.coachingwithkrista.com/305

Do you ever feel like your grief progress is too slow? That the little things you accomplish each day don't really matter in the grand scheme of things? I'm here to tell you that every small win counts, especially when you're grieving.   In this episode, we dive into the power of celebrating small wins and how they can help build momentum and confidence during the grief journey. You'll learn why our brains are wired to focus on the negative and how we can train them to notice and celebrate the positive instead.   Get full show notes, transcript, and more information here: https://www.coachingwithkrista.com/304

I open up about my own recent experience with secondary loss, feeling the impact of recent plane crashes that involved the same types of aircraft my late husband Hugo used to work on. It's a stark reminder that grief doesn't have an expiration date, and secondary losses can hit us when we least expect them.   If you've been struggling with vanishing friends in the wake of your loss, know that you are not alone.   Get full show notes, transcript, and more information here: https://www.coachingwithkrista.com/303

Letting go can be incredibly challenging after loss. It may feel like a betrayal to release things tied to your partner's memory. However, holding on to what no longer aligns with the life you want to live can come at a high emotional cost.   Learn why endings are essential for growth and how to take small steps toward letting go of what feels heavy.    Get full show notes, transcript, and more information here: https://www.coachingwithkrista.com/302

Emotional eating is incredibly common, especially for those dealing with grief. It's not just about food either - maybe for you it's over drinking, over scrolling, over working, or over shopping.   We're going to talk about why we eat our grief, how to understand what's driving this behavior, and a simple shift that can change how you respond to these cravings.   Get full show notes, transcript, and more information here: https://www.coachingwithkrista.com/301

I want to reflect on what I have learned in the last 100 episodes, building on the lessons I shared back in episode 200.   Let's dive into eight powerful lessons that these past 100 episodes have taught me about grief. From understanding that grief isn't something to "get over" to recognizing the resilience within each of us, these insights have the potential to shift your perspective and support you on your journey.   Get full show notes, transcript, and more information here: https://www.coachingwithkrista.com/300

I share a simple yet powerful mindset shift that can help you navigate your emotions with more ease and less suffering.   I explore the difference between struggling and feeling sad. By the end of this episode, you'll have a new perspective on sadness and a tool for creating more space for your feelings.   Get full show notes, transcript, and more information here: https://www.coachingwithkrista.com/299

What if I told you there was a way to reimagine Valentine's Day and make it a meaningful, connecting experience - even in the midst of grief?    I explore four pillars of connection that can transform Valentine's Day from a painful reminder of loss to an opportunity for love and belonging. Whether you choose to focus on one, two or all of these pillars, you have the power to make this holiday whatever you need it to be.   Get full show notes, transcript, and more information here: https://www.coachingwithkrista.com/298

I explore the fascinating concept of post-traumatic growth and how it's available to all of us, including widows. Post-traumatic growth doesn't mean being grateful for your loss or minimizing your pain. It's about intentionally creating more meaning, purpose, and fulfillment in your life after a traumatic event.   I share powerful sentences that can help foster post-traumatic growth, the thoughts that can hold you back, and reflective questions to guide you on this journey.   Get full show notes, transcript, and more information here: https://www.coachingwithkrista.com/297    

Have you ever felt stuck in your grief, unsure of how to move forward after losing your husband? I talk with Danielle Fitzpatrick about her journey through grief after losing her husband to pancreatic cancer when she was only 36 years old.   Danielle shares openly about the challenges she faced as a young widow and mother, from the numbness and insecurity she felt in the early days of grief to the difficulty of making decisions without her husband.   Get full show notes, transcript, and more information here: https://www.coachingwithkrista.com/296

If you're doing everything right but still not feeling the happiness you expect, you're not alone. Many widows face this challenge, even after putting in the effort to rebuild their lives.   I explore why this happens and offer a powerful tool to help you shift your mindset. By becoming aware of the stories you're telling yourself, you can regain control and start loving life again.   Get full show notes, transcript, and more information here: https://www.coachingwithkrista.com/295

What if, instead of being in the way of fully living life, grief is actually the way to fully living? I invite you to consider a powerful reframe: grief as a feature, not a bug.   By listening to our grief, we open ourselves up to the possibility of post-traumatic growth - making changes that lead us toward a more aligned life, not in spite of what happened, but because of what we do after it happens.   Get full show notes, transcript, and more information here: https://www.coachingwithkrista.com/294

Do you feel inundated by all the "New Year, New You" messaging right now?   What if, instead of trying to fix ourselves, your only job this year was to start selling yourself on your own inherent worthiness?   Get full show notes, transcript, and more information here: https://www.coachingwithkrista.com/293

The death of a loved one can feel like the end of the game, but it's important to remember that life doesn't stop.   Learn the concept of Game 1 versus Game 2, and how it can help us reframe our experience of loss and embrace the next chapter of our lives.   Get full show notes, transcript, and more information here: https://www.coachingwithkrista.com/292

Why does the holiday season feel so challenging after loss, and what can you do to have an easier, more present experience at this time of year, even if you're navigating grief?    Learn the three ways you might be making the holidays harder than they need to be, and my top tips for creating the experience you want to have.    Get full show notes, transcript, and more information here: https://www.coachingwithkrista.com/291

From the emotional volatility and disruption to our sense of self to the challenges we might face in our relationships, I explore what Inside Out 2 teaches us about navigating the messy, non-linear path of grief.   Hear my insights from Inside Out 2 which I hope will change the way you view your grief journey. Learn how grief presents an opportunity to redefine who we are and what matters most to us.   Get full show notes, transcript, and more information here: https://www.coachingwithkrista.com/290  

I explore the profound lessons about grief, sadness, and joy from the beloved Disney Pixar movie, Inside Out, and share how they mirror our own experiences with loss and grief. Learn valuable insights about allowing our emotions to work together, rather than forcing one to dominate.   Get full show notes, transcript, and more information here: https://www.coachingwithkrista.com/289

Have you ever shared something difficult about your grief, only to have someone respond with a dismissive comment like, “They're in a better place” or, “At least you had the years you had together?” This instinct to fix or "right" a situation is known as the righting reflex. It's a common response to seeing someone in pain that's usually well-intentioned… but it doesn't feel good.   I explore the concept of the righting reflex, how it shows up in our interactions with others and ourselves, and strategies for responding to it in a way that honors our feelings and needs.   Get full show notes, transcript, and more information here: https://www.coachingwithkrista.com/288

I sit down with my client, Amy Krill, who shares her story of love, loss, and resilience after the unexpected passing of her husband four years ago. Hear Amy's journey of embracing grief wholly, making bold decisions, and ultimately creating a life she loves on the other side of tragedy.   Get full show notes, transcript, and more information here: https://www.coachingwithkrista.com/287

I share a powerful philosophy that has transformed my approach to personal growth and decision-making: we learn by doing.    Hear examples of how learning by doing can help you navigate this chapter with greater ease and resilience, and how to apply this mindset to your journey as a widow to create the life you desire.   Get full show notes, transcript, and more information here: https://www.coachingwithkrista.com/286

Are you dreading the holidays as a widow? Do certain sights, smells, or sounds trigger painful memories and emotions during this festive season?   The holidays can be an incredibly challenging time when you're grieving the loss of a loved one, but being prepared and having a plan can make the experience more manageable. I explore practical strategies for handling holiday triggers with more ease and grace, and share tips for creating your personalized holiday resilience plan.   Get full show notes, transcript, and more information here: https://www.coachingwithkrista.com/285

Do you ever feel pressured to find a romantic partner in order to be truly happy? What if being single was actually an opportunity to build a rich, fulfilling life on your own terms? I talk with Meghan Keane, founder of NPR's Life Kit podcast, about her new book Party of One: Be Your Own Best Life Partner.   Meghan shares her personal journey of losing her father at a young age and supporting her widowed mother, how societal expectations around marriage and partnership have evolved over time, and why it's important to prioritize all types of love and connection in our lives.   Get full show notes, transcript, and more information here: https://www.coachingwithkrista.com/284    

Are you holding on to your late partner's belongings, unsure of when or how to let them go? It's a tricky balance isn't it - the desire to keep their memory close while also wanting to move forward, or maybe you simply aren't ready to begin thinking about the future yet.   Explore why releasing your partner's belongings after a loss can be so difficult. Hear a helpful reframe for this struggle that can guide you in determining whether you're honoring your loved one or simply holding on, along with a reminder that there is no right or wrong timeline for this process.   Get full show notes, transcript, and more information here: https://www.coachingwithkrista.com/283

From the Industrial Revolution to the modern-day superwoman ideal, women in grief especially have internalized the belief that our worth is tied to our output, but at what cost?   Learn how the pressure to be productive can be harmful during grief. You'll also explore questions to help you examine your current relationship with productivity, allowing you to redefine success and give yourself permission to rest and feel.   Get full show notes, transcript, and more information here: https://www.coachingwithkrista.com/282

Have you ever felt that deep ache or yearning after losing your person? While it's a normal part of the grieving process, our minds often make the presence of this ache mean something negative about ourselves or our grief.   Hear why you feel this ache in the first place, why it's not a problem to solve, and how to rethink the ache so you can begin moving towards the experience you want to have.    Get full show notes, transcript, and more information here: https://www.coachingwithkrista.com/281    

Jenny Douglas is an amazing widow who has been through the trenches of grief and come out the other side. We discuss how Jenny rebuilt her life and rediscovered joy, even in the midst of sadness, and why investing in yourself is one of the best things you can do for your well-being.   Jenny shares her powerful story of love, loss, and finding herself again after her husband John passed away.   Get full show notes, transcript, and more information here: https://www.coachingwithkrista.com/280

Have you ever considered that widowhood could be a doorway to a more intentional life? It's not about loving that our person died, but about using this experience as an opportunity for growth and change, only if you want it.   Hear how the loss of your person can bring up both new and long-standing struggles, and how widowhood can serve as an invitation to rewire our brains and change patterns that no longer serve us.   Get full show notes and more information here: https://www.coachingwithkrista.com/279

When empty nesting meets widowhood, you can expect to experience complex emotions. This unique combination of life transitions can feel like a double whammy, leaving you disoriented, lonely, and unsure of your identity.   Explore six key challenges that arise when empty nesting and widowhood collide, and learn what you can do about the compounded sense of loneliness and the struggle of rebuilding routines during this identity shift.   Get full show notes and more information here: https://www.coachingwithkrista.com/278

Those automatic, habitual first thoughts you have in grief might not be particularly kind or useful, but the good news is that with awareness, you can choose subsequent thoughts that move you closer to the life you want.   Learn how to be on the lookout for unhelpful first thoughts, and to explore examples of choosing second or even third thoughts that will allow you to see different possibilities.    Get full show notes and more information here: https://www.coachingwithkrista.com/277    

18 months ago, Helen Tanner was widowed after her husband Philip died unexpectedly following a short illness. In this episode, Helen shares her raw experience of becoming a widow at 43 years old, and how she's navigating her grief as a doctor and mother of two.   Hear how Helen's medical training left her ill-equipped to handle her grief, how she has helped her young boys process their anger and sadness in healthy ways, and the unexpected gifts that have emerged since her husband passed.    Get full show notes and more information here: https://www.coachingwithkrista.com/276

One of the most essential ingredients to loving life again, yet one of the least talked about, is your belief in your inherent worthiness. Even if it's unconscious, if you don't believe you're worthy of loving life again, you will keep repelling it.   Learn how your long-held limiting beliefs may be blocking your path forward and how to cultivate a deep knowing that your worth is fully intact.   Get full show notes and more information here: https://www.coachingwithkrista.com/275

Hugo's death happened in such a way that, within a matter of hours, the rug had been ripped right out from underneath me, and he was gone. While you might not have the same story, I know that sense of powerlessness is a shared experience, no matter how your person died.   Learn why the desire for control and power is normal, examples of how this might be manifesting in your life, and how to make peace with the feeling of powerlessness.   Get full show notes and more information here: https://www.coachingwithkrista.com/274

Losing a loved one leaves us feeling like we're at the effect of circumstances in life we didn't and would never ask for. While we can't change the significant loss we experience in grief, we can intentionally choose our internal experience of how we respond to life.   Learn why choosing helpful thoughts in grief matters, how the intentional thoughts you choose can shape your grief experience, and a list of helpful thoughts I encourage you to borrow.   Get full show notes and more information here: https://www.coachingwithkrista.com/273

How do you allow yourself space to grieve without fighting your feelings? This is something my Mom Goes On client, Berit Van Neste, had to learn when she lost her husband, Roy, to dementia and began slowly putting the pieces of her life back together.   Berit shares her journey through love, loss, and finding herself again, and the surprising lessons she's learned about navigating grief.   Get full show notes and more information here: https://www.coachingwithkrista.com/272

I get mad when people suggest false binaries in the dating experience of widows, especially when they haven't been through this experience themselves. Wouldn't it be nice if dating again as a widow was cut and dry, and not complicated, messy, or an emotional rollercoaster?   I give you permission to embrace the 'and' in dating and offer 20 examples of how the 'and' in dating again as a widow helps you make space for the human experience you're having.   Get full show notes and more information here: https://www.coachingwithkrista.com/271

Every single day, I work with widows who are creating post-traumatic growth and don't even realize it because the changes they're undergoing don't feel big enough.    It's time to expand what we consider post-traumatic growth. Learn what post-traumatic growth in the small things could look like for you and how you might already be showing up with courage and bravery in the little things.    Get full show notes and more information here: https://www.coachingwithkrista.com/270

I have coached widows who are struggling with their in-laws countless times. It's an experience that's extremely common, and while these situations are far from pleasant, there are also many opportunities here for you to cultivate more freedom, self-trust, and self-validation.   I give you 10 strategies that will help you maintain perspective as you navigate what might be a challenging relationship with your in-laws.   Get full show notes and more information here: https://www.coachingwithkrista.com/269

My client, KC Morris, has accomplished a lot since her husband's passing, but she felt there was more to life than just keeping her household together, staying on top of her career, and being a mom.   KC decided to take a leap of faith and push herself towards the full, rich, vibrant life that she knew was available to her, and she's here today to share her experience of navigating early grief and wearing all the hats as a widowed mom.    Get full show notes and more information here: https://www.coachingwithkrista.com/268    

I love the possibilities that post-traumatic growth gives us in grief, but while growth is always available to us, it is far from a “should.”   Whether you're explicitly telling yourself that you should be growing from your grief, or your “should” is showing up in disguise, join me this week as I show you why you shouldn't grow from grief unless you want to, and alternative ways to start seeing your grief experience.   Get full show notes and more information here: https://www.coachingwithkrista.com/267