Top Self

After experiencing the loss of her daughter, Mercy Joan, my guest began helping people and organizations survive, stabilize, and thrive through pain.Most of us think we are saying and doing the right thing, being empathetic to people in their time of need.  Some feel the uncomfortableness of not knowing at all what the best thing is to do or say to support someone in their time of need.Liesel Mertes, acclaimed empathy expert and founder of Handle with Care Consulting, talks about empathy and having the skills necessary to meet people where they are.In this episode she:introduces you to her empathy avatars.  Do you see yourself in any of these?  Find out!Buck Up BobbySilent SamCheer Up CherylCommiserating Candice explains why empathy is so important in both your personal life and in the workplaceshares the Stop Light Check.  A quick easy way to gauge where others are, their energy and how they are feelingcovers how telling someone to let them know how you can help is not the best way to support someone who is sufferinggives tips for working your curiosity muscleexplains when to share your similar story and when to be silent when trying to connect and support someonehow to learn to decide what to keep and what to let go of when you have a disagreement with someoneso much more! Liesel's website: http://www.lieselmertes.com/  Connect with Shanenn from Top Self:Website:  https://www.yourtopself.com/Instagram:  https://www.instagram.com/yourtopselfFacebook:  https://www.facebook.com/yourtopself/Which Emotion Do You Lead With?  Take the free quiz:  https://www.tryinteract.com/share/quiz/62386043c8178a0018d74390Support the show

Izolda Trakhtenberg worked as a NASA Master Trainer for 20 + years and now speaks, coaches and educates at organizations and universities on mindful creativity and innovation.  In this episode, she shares the 3 C's framework (Creativity, Compassion, and Collaboration) to an innovative mindset to help transform your perspective and achieve greater success.Success requires ingenuity by tapping into your creativityCollaboration pushes us forward in our work and in our relationshipsHow curiosity about others makes you more compassionate and a better collaboratorTelling your story how other people need to hear it in their way improves your communication Digging deeper when practicing mindfulness How to fire up the creative part of your brainBooks and information discussed in this episode:Chris Voss :"Never Split the Difference"Tamsen Webster:  "Find Your Red Thread"Izolda Trakhtenberg:  "Speak From Within"  and podcast "The Innovative Mindset"Connect with Izolda:Website:  https://Izoldat.comConnect with Shanenn at Top Self:Website:  https://www.yourtopself.com/Instagram:  https://www.instagram.com/yourtopselfFacebook:  https://www.facebook.com/yourtopself/Support the show

Most of us either focus on the past, like decisions we made, things we wish we would have done differently, reliving exciting moments of the past.OR we are thinking about the future; how to make more money, where we would like to live when we retire, starting a new relationship, getting married, having children.  But, how often do you think about the present?Top Self guest Aga Lawrynovicz of choose clarity at chooseclarity.io is here to help youreconnect withinreclaim your timelearn to be presentuse mindfulness to see people for who they areget off the auto-pilot of life notice the thoughts in your head without giving into the urge to act on those thoughtslisten to the signs your body is telling youShe tells us how mindfulness can save your marriage, relationships and build better connections with your children.  Through mindfulness and meditation, she was able to "see" her children and step children for who they are and connect on a much deeper level of understanding.In this episode she gives incredible examples of how we are missing those moments to really connect with people and to get off auto-pilot.She also shared these two videos to get your started with meditation and encourages you to start small, maybe only two minutes at first.How to Meditate VideoLoving Kindness MeditationConnect with Shanenn at Top SelfWebsite:  https://www.yourtopself.com/Instagram:  https://www.instagram.com/yourtopselfFacebook:  https://www.instagram.com/yourtopselfSupport the show

Trauma leaves a chemical mark on a persons genes that is passed down to the next generation according to today's guest Dr. Galit Atlas.  It's about family secrets and the secrets we keep from ourselves that also keep us from living to our full potential. Dr. Atlas is a psychoanalyst exploring the unconscious of her patients and shares how the emotional inheritance and the legacy of trauma is passed down from generation to generation in her book titled Emotional Inheritance:  A Therapist, Her Patients, and the Legacy of Trauma.In this episode, we discuss how therapy is like detective work and it comes down to uncovering the gap between what people want to have and what they can toleration having.She shares that the trauma healing process starts with the decision to search and to be curious.What do I not know about myself?What can I not emotionally handle?Why does the gap between what I want and what I can tolerate exist?It is also important to treat defenses with respect and if you are not ready to do the healing work that is ok.  It is also acceptable to feel upset that we have to do the work of the past traumatized (our parents or our grandparents) because they were perhaps not strong enough.  Dr. Atlas says if we are only aware of what  we want to have (a relationship, a career, money etc.) but we're not fully aware of what it is that doesn't allow us to have what we want... that is more powerful than what we want".The book, Emotional Inheritance is a must read but give yourself some recovery time and know it can be triggering. What Emotion Do You Lead With?  Take the Quiz:https://www.tryinteract.com/share/quiz/62386043c8178a0018d74390Connect with Dr. AtlasWebsite:  https://www.galitatlas.comInstagram:  https://www.instagram.com/galit_atlasConnect with Shanenn at Top Self:Website:  https://www.yourtopself.com/Instagram:  https://www.instagram.com/yourtopselfFacebook:  https://www.facebook.com/yourtopself/Support the show

If you grew up in a dysfunctional family, chances are you have wondered many times what your life would be like if things would have been "normal." You can't change the hand you were dealt, but you can look to see if you have any cards you can play to your advantage that may give you the win in the end.And thankfully, there are.  Yes, there are many more than 5 however, Shanenn will discuss 5 strengths you most likely possess if you grew up in a dysfunctional family and ways you can use them to your personal and professional advantage.Much love to my fellow ACA (adult children of alcoholics). Take the quiz to see which emotion you lead with: https://www.tryinteract.com/share/quiz/62386043c8178a0018d74390 Connect with Shanenn at Top Self:Website:  https://www.yourtopself.com/Instagram:  https://www.instagram.com/yourtopselfFacebook:  https://www.facebook.com/yourtopself/Facebook Group:  http://www.Facebook.com/groups/jealousyjunkieSupport the show

On today's episode, Matt Ruttenberg talks about F.I.R.E. - Financial Independence Retire Early, a fast growing community of financial like minded people.Matt discusses ways to create financial independence and how to spend your money intentionally.  We also talk about:Covering your expense through your assetsWhy keeping up with the Joneses is such a toxic mindsetHow passive income can set you up for early retirementUsing a bucket mindset strategy to plan for early retirementHe also explains the 4% rule or 25x rule to determine what is needed for your financial freedom and plants the seed to consider building a sellable business rather than just a lifelong business.Matt offers up some additional resources to further your research to gain financial independence such as mrmoneymustach.com and the book Simple Path to Wealth.Connect with Matt:  Fire Friendly Life Insurance http://sureli.co/Instagram:  https://www.instagram.com/matt_ruttenbergConnect with Shanenn at Top Self:Website:  https://www.yourtopself.com/Instagram:  https://www.instagram.com/yourtopselfFacebook:  https://www.facebook.com/yourtopself/Facebook Group for Jealousy Junkies:  http://www.Facebook.com/groups/jealousyjunkieSupport the show

Are you a jealousy junkie?  If so, you wont want to miss this special solo, 10th episode from the host on the affects and effects of jealousy.I discuss why there was a need for extreme jealousy back in the day but is not serving you in your modern times.  Unfortunately some still struggle with extreme jealousy that causes damage in a relationship.  After many years of struggling with my own jealousy in relationships,, I've done the hard work, research, tested practices and a lot of self-discovery to help you short-cut the process and start living free again.I share how to turn your jealousy triggers into prompts as a stepping stone to overcoming jealousy.Explain how jealousy is a solution and the importance of doing the work to get to the root of the problem you're trying to solve.The 3 reasons for jealousy are discussed.  Projection, Protection and Competition.My door is always open to help you understand the cause of your jealousy, guide you through your own self-discovery work, help determine your triggers and create custom prompts for those triggers.If you think you might be a jealousy junkie, take a deep breath, know you CAN overcome it, and schedule a clarity call by using the link below.Schedule a Clarity Call with Shanenn: https://calendly.com/topself/free-discovery-coaching-sessionTop Self Website:  https://www.yourtopself.com/Quiz:  Which Emotion Do You Lead With?  https://www.tryinteract.com/share/quiz/62386043c8178a0018d74390Connect on Socials:Instagram:  https://www.instagram.com/yourtopselfFacebook:  https://www.facebook.com/yourtopself/Support the show (https://www.buymeacoffee.com/topself)

Retired Navy Seal commander and human performance expert, Rich Diviney, shares the 25 attributes for optimal performance, while sprinkling in some seriously cool stories of his time as a Navy SEAL.  During his 20 + year career, Rich completed more than 13 overseas deployments.  As an officer in charge of training for a specialized command, he was involved in an extremely specialized SEAL selection process, weeding out extraordinary individuals down to just the elite few.  During this process, he discovered what set the chosen SEALs apart and what makes a person more successful and thrive in life, comes down to attributes.  True optimal performance goes beyond just skill.In his book, The Attributes:  25 Hidden Drivers of Optimal Performance, Diviney explains that skills are different than attributes.  Skills direct our behavior in known and specific environment.  They tell us how and when to do something but they're not inherent in us.  Skills do not tell us how we're going to show up in times of stress, challenge, and uncertainty.  It is in those times that we lean on our attributes.  Attributes dictate how we behave, react, and perform; how we are going to show up in life.  We are all born with all the attributes, but the difference in each one of us is the level of which we have each attribute.  The idea is to understand where you show up with the attributes and then understand inside of what context of life you're trying to operate or succeed.Since retiring from the Navy, Rich has worked as a speaker, facilitator, and consultant with the Chapman & Co Leadership Institute, Simon Sinek Inc., and is now founder and CEO of The Attributes Inc.  Currently Rich speaks and consults on leadership, high performing teams, assessment & selection, and optimal performance.  Rich has worked with thousands of businesses, athletic, and military leaders from organizations such as American Airlines, Meijer Inc., the San Francisco 49ers, Pegasystems, Zoom, and Deloitte.To Rich and all the brave men and women who serve or have served our country, THANK YOU FOR YOUR SERVICE.Take the attribute assessments or connect with Rich:https://theattributes.com/Connect with Shanenn at Top Self:Website:  https://www.yourtopself.com/Instagram:  https://www.instagram.com/yourtopselfFacebook:  https://www.facebook.com/yourtopself/Support the show (https://www.buymeacoffee.com/topself)

Stop pulling yourself out of the race because of your fear of failure.  Do you think you have a high sense of self worth?  Most say yes but your actions may not represent or reflect that of someone who has a healthy sense of worth.Diving into my favorite topics, of course, self-worth and self-confidence with Dr. Jomana.  She is a TEDx speaker, a mindset coach and NLP practitioner and she is dishing out the misconceptions we have about self-worth, practical tips to increase your feelings of self-worth and explaining the competence confidence cycle.The first step in the competence confidence cycle is courage.  Most people wait until they feel confident to do something but confidence comes from taking action first, and having the courage to take that action.Your brain will try to trick you into staying in your comfort zone.  It wants you to feel safe and comfortable.  The feeling of incompetence when trying something new is often when we give up.  Comfort is the enemy of growth.You must accept that you are imperfect to increase your feels of self-worth.  We all make mistakes and giving yourself grace will give you a boost in your feelings of self worth.Boundaries are hard to set, especially in the beginning, but the discomfort you will feel communicating those boundaries is so much better than the resentment you will feel from say yes, yes, yes to everything and everyone.How many times have you based your own worth on what others think of you?  How many times have you done something you didn't want to do, just because you didn't want the other person to be upset?  If you're a people pleaser, this episode will speak directly to you.  Dr. Jomana and I share the same passion for awareness.  It is awareness + action that creates change.  Become aware of your inner critical and negative thoughts and change the way you speak to yourself.  Helping others reclaim their self-worth and increase their confidence, changing their mindset to change their life, is why I started this podcast.  I don't want you to wait as long as I did to see that YOU ARE WORTHY.  Which Emotion Do You Lead With?  Take the Quiz HereConnect with Dr. JomanaWebsite:  https://www.dr.jomana.comInstagram:  https://www.instagram.com/drjomana_mindsetcoachConnect with Shanenn at Top SelfSchedule a clarity coaching call:  https://calendly.com/topself/free-discovery-coaching-sessionWebsite:  https://www.yourtopself.com/Instagram:  https://www.instagram.com/yourtopselfFacebook:  https://www.facebook.com/yourtopself/Support the show (https://www.buymeacoffee.com/topself)

Patrick Fox, founder of Rethink Alcohol Project, grew up in an environment where drinking alcohol at a young age was the norm.  His weekends with dad consisted of waiting outside pubs or being sent off  to buy CDs and sweets to keep him occupied while his dad drank inside the pub.In this episode, Patrick discussing how reading the book "This Naked Mind", by Annie Grace  helped him understand how alcohol affects your brain and that put the seed in his head to quit drinking.  But, it wasn't until after an alcohol and drug fueled Christmas that he finally set down the bottle for good.After coming to terms with his addition to alcohol, Patrick wanted to share the process and his wisdom with other men so he created a 12-week program called the Alcohol Rethink Project for those who want to stop drinking and started a podcast with the same name as another resource.The steps in the program are simple, the struggle of course, is much more difficult but these three steps have changed the lives of many.Step 1 is Self-Awareness.  Patrick says self awareness is the start to understanding the belief systems we have about ourselves.  For some alcoholics, they have a "fear" of quitting drinking and not having it in their lives.Step 2 is Choice.  Once you are aware, you now get to decide what you are going to think, and how to prepare yourself when the temptation is there or what situations to remove yourself from.Step 3 is all about the transformation.  This is a magical part of the process where people figure out what other interests they have, what to do instead of drinking, what are other things you want to accomplish and focus on.  AND, the interesting part is, these same steps ring true for any self-improvement goal.  Even if you don't have a problem with alcohol but wanting to make changes, this episode provides valuable tips and a process you can use on your own journey.Which Emotion Do You Lead With?  Take the Quiz HereConnect with PatrickWebsite:  https://www.patrickjfox.comInstagram:  https://www.instragram.com/alcoholrethinkprojectPodcast: The Alcohol Rethink PodcastConnect with Shanenn at Top SelfSchedule a Top Self Coaching Session: https://calendly.com/topself/free-discovery-coaching-sessionInstagram:  https://www.instagram.com/yourtopselfTop Self Facebook Page:  https://www.facebook.com/yourtopself/Do you have issues with jealousy in your relationships?  Join my Jealousy Junkie Facebook Group:  https://www.facebook.com/groups/jealousyjunkie/Support the show (https://www.buymeacoffee.com/topself)

Your mindset often shows in your kitchen, office, car or other areas of your home.  Today's guest, Productivity and Organizing Coach and host of the Positively Living podcast, Lisa Zawrotny reveals that clutter both effects and reflects whats going on with you.  In this episode, we discuss:Lisa's framework, "The Simple System" , for how to deal with the overwhelmWhy it's important to identify what self-care means to you for good energy managementThe 80/20 rule of productivity when choosing what to focus onImproving your energy flow by theming and batching your tasksCreating harmony with each category of your life to ensure your needs are representedI've already put Lisa's tips into practice in my own life and am excited to share some of her productivity hacks with you as well.Which Emotion Do You Lead With?  Take the Quiz HereConnect with Shanenn at Top Self:Schedule a  Free Clarity Call:  https://calendly.com/topself/free-discovery-coaching-sessionWebsite: https://www.yourtopself.com/ Instagram:  https://www.instagram.com/yourtopselfFacebook:  https://www.facebook.com/yourtopself/Connect with Lisa:Instagram:  https://www.instagram.com/positively_LisaWebsite:  https://positivelyproductive.comPodcast:  Positively LivingSupport the show (https://www.buymeacoffee.com/topself)

Today's guest is Dr. Kristen Willeumier.  She is a top neuroscientist who devoted her career to understanding the brain.  She led a clinical trial with top American football players and is the author of the book "Biohack Your Brain". In this episode, Dr. Willeumier shares simple modifications to your lifestyle that can improve your brain health.  And BONUS, some may lead to weight loss as an added perk!She shares tips from her book such as "10 Ways to Change Your Brain In 10 Minutes" and why writing and performing tasks with your non-dominant hand can improve brain function.Did you know you can sniff your way to better health?  Do you need an excuse to put massages in your monthly budget?  Listen to this episode to hear the doctor's orders to state your case!While signs of brain deterioration may not occur until later in life, Dr. Willeumier explains why focusing on brain health now is important.Which Emotion Do You Lead With?  Take the Quiz HerePurchase Biohack Your Brain https://www.amazon.com/Biohack-Your-Brain-Cognitive-Performance/dp/0062994328Connect with Shanenn:Top Self Website:  https://www.yourtopself.com/Instagram:  https://www.instagram.com/yourtopselfFacebook:  https://www.facebook.com/yourtopself/Much love to my fellow ACA's (Adult Children of Alcoholics)Support the show (https://www.buymeacoffee.com/topself)

In this episode, Dr. Balkanski and I discuss the self-sabotage loop and how to get to the root cause.As a child, you take in information on how to relate in life with relationships, events or situations and often repeat patterns or behaviors we learned as a child.Many times, you may not pick up on the patterns you're creating but will notice that some things feel harder than they should, or you have certain behaviors that you would like to improve.  Ann Marie explains how to recognize if there is a limiting belief that is standing in your way of success. Relationships and/or events create our basic beliefs we have about ourselves.  Dr. Balkanski explains how this is the start of a self-sabotage loop. The first step to break the loop is an awareness that there is something going on and understanding there is a pattern we are repeating.  Listen as she:talks through ways to identify if you have a limiting belief holding you back from successdescribes how the self-sabotage loop is createdexplains how to work from your behaviors to the root cause of the limiting beliefIf you feel stuck or the same thing keeps happening in your life, you don't want to miss this episode!Which Emotion Do You Lead With?  Take the Quiz HereConnect with Dr. BalkanskiFacebook:   https://www.facebook.com/annmariemindcoachInstagram:  https://www.instagram.com/annbalanskiSchedule a Top Self Coaching Session:https://www.yourtopself.com/Connect with Shanenn at Top Self on Instagram:https://www.instagram.com/yourtopselfTop Self Facebook Page:https://www.facebook.com/yourtopself/Support the Show:https://www.buymeacoffee.com/topselfSupport the show (https://www.buymeacoffee.com/topself)

The new year is here and you've set big health and fitness goals.  Are you still motivated?  In this episode, lifestyle and health coach, Tiffany Mendelson, shares the reasons your "why" may be preventing you from achieving your goals and how to set yourself up for success.  She's giving you a strategy for digging deep and what to do when the new years resolution motivation starts to wear off.  Motivation doesn't matter if your mind is straight!If you want to make changes to your health and fitness, connect with Tiffany on social media. Which Emotion Do You Lead With?  Take the Quiz HereFacebook:  https://www.facebook.com/tiffanymendelsonInstagram: https://www.instagram.com/tiffanymendelson Top Self Facebook Page:https://www.facebook.com/yourtopself/Connect with Shanenn on Instagram:https://www.instagram.com/yourtopselfCoaching / Website:https://www.yourtopself.com/Much love to my fellow ACA (adult children of alcoholics)!  Support the show (https://www.buymeacoffee.com/topself)

Today's guest is Dr. Allie Funk, a Postdoctoral Fellow at the American Institute for Cognitive Therapy.  She has extensive training in Cognitive Behavioral Therapy, Dialectical Behavior Therapy and Acceptance and Commitment Therapy.  You may desire an apology from a family member who caused you hurt, anger and / or sadness due to addiction, alcoholism or other forms of trauma.  Often, that apology never comes.In this episode, Dr. Funk explains how to navigate this situation when the outcome you were looking for falls flat.  In any interaction, we can only control 50%.   We can use it in the most effective way and not get the response we want, but still heal and be proud of the way we showed up.This is jammed packed with tools you can load in your coping kit such as perspective taking and radical acceptance.Which Emotion Do You Lead With?  Take the Quiz HereAmerican Institute of Cognitive Therapy:https://www.cognitivetherapynyc.com/Top Self Facebook Page:https://www.facebook.com/yourtopself/Connect on with Shanenn on Instagram:https://www.instagram.com/yourtopselfCoaching / Website:https://www.yourtopself.comMuch love to my fellow ACA (adult children of alcoholics)!  Support the show (https://www.buymeacoffee.com/topself)

My mission is to empower those who feel stuck or have struggles in their life, to realize you don't have to be a product of your past.  Understanding your value improves your friendships, your relationships, your career but most importantly, frees you to live the life you deserve.I am an ACA survivor, an adult child of an alcoholic, and I understand the characteristics and challenges that come with growing up in that environment so I'm bringing experts on this show to share their social, mental and physical growth insights, tips, and tricks you can use to make big changes in your life.I'll also share stories from people just like you who've experienced challenges and hardships who tell their story to help build an empowering community of survivors and thrivers.Support the show