Ulcerative Colitis, Motherhood & Me

Following the blip I had last week, I was amazed by the positive and caring response I had from work, which gave me a much better viewpoint and helped me to recognise when i need support and also helped me realise that people have my back. I talk about what self care means to me and how i use these experiences to learn and to grow.

TW: today'a episode is very mental health-heavy - listener diacretion is advised. This week saw my anxiety peak and I knew I had to listen to what my body and mind were saying, rather than trying to muddle through. I'm ok, i'm healing and taking some time to breathe and recover from some highly stressful experiences and have been met with some very kind and supportive people which has helped. Always look after you ❤️

TW: mental health content - listener discretion is advised. This week marks two very difficult anniversaries of two very different losses and two very different responses to grief. I also wonder if this is the reason why I have struggled a bit this week or if I'm just very sensitive to how I respond to others. Please bear with me, recording this episode was a little more emotional than I first anticipated. UCM xxx

TW: Themes of mental health, depression, anxiety and past trauma (growing up with a parent with mental health problems) Listener discretion advised Three months into my new job and I still feel ... a lot. Spending more time working alone also has some influence on how I feel; mainly second-guessing myself, wondering if I made the right decision. Worrying about being "told off" Whats that about? I look more deeply into past childhood experiences and explore the role of the Empath - is is a psychosocial phenomena as well as a spiritual one? And is there such thing as the "New Job Blues" and if so, why? PS please excuse my TERRIBLE editing once again, being interrupted by my child and secondly for the UK weather warnings!

This week is Crohns and Colitis Awareness Week in the UK (I think!) and I share a brief story of my journey with IBD. I am also aware of little "anxious espisodes" that have occurred and why my Irrational Brain has been pretty annoying at times! I have also enlisted the help of a coach this week to make me more accountable for my overall health and hopefully set me in good stead ahead of my summer holiday. As always LISTENER DISCRETION ADVISED - content contains themes of mental health, ulcerative colitis symptoms, anxiety episodes.

Listener discretion is advised: content includes mental health, anxiety, low self esteem and low self confidence. New job has had be feeling a little like an imposter, but why? Is it truly self doubt or is it just adjusting to the change and how i miss my old work family. Apologies in advance for continuity issues with the editing and my dog snoring in the background!

Listener discretion advised - this episode contains content relating to mental health, anxiety and self-esteem. So this week saw me move into my new role, which has obviously sparked an array of feelings and emotions. However, i have been pleasantly surprised! Not only by the reception i have so far received, but by how kind i have been to MYSELF for a change.

Tw: mental illness, trauma, So this week hasn't exactly gone to plan, struck down with Covid once again and off sick gives you plenty of time to think (and overthink!) it also means that my last few shifts in my current job have been reduced which means the transition to starting my new role is going to be a little harder. Apologies for the poor editing - having to pause between sections for coughing fits!

TW: as with most of my content, I talk openly about mental health and mental illness; depression and anxiety and growing up with a mentally ill parent and its impact on me as an adult. Listener discretion advised. I also discuss how this applies in my professional life as well as my personal life and why i will always see myself as an Underdog and how i'm at peace with that. Lots of love UCM xxx

Listener discretion advised - themes of hospital admission and minor surgery The day finally came and Snag was given its marching orders, after overstaying its welcome for TWO YEARS! I talk about my surgery and the amazing team who looked after me Still waiting to start my new job, but still very excited about it. And finally some MORE lifestyle changes I need to address following my shocking weight gain and setting myself some goals to not only benefit me in the short term, but hopefully follow me through to a more sustainable healthy lifestyle! Also looking forward to having my new tattoo - first one in over eight years! Lots of love, always, UCM xxx

So a quick update from the last episode and thankfully, no concerns and the brain fog has subsided! Tonight's episode I give a full roundup of what's been happening health-wise Also podcast-only exclusive on a new opportunity for me, that fills with me with a lot of excitement and a little bit of sadness too. As always, thank you to my amazing listeners for your continued support

I'm baaaaack! Apologies for my lengthy absence from posting! Tonight's episode I recap on my last esisodes and discuss the recent issues I've been having and what I think they could mean. HEADS UP content includes: mental health, reproductive health, menstruation and menopause. Listener discretion advised. Also expect some occasional swearing.

TW: contains content around mental health, poor self esteem and anxiety - listener discretion advised. Following on to my last episode, I'm doing ok. I started to see a new therapist, so seeing how that goes and building that rapport in such a short time. How my confidence still seems to be challenged and wondering how I can push through this rut I have become so stuck in.

TRIGGER WARNING: discusses issues on Mental Health, Anxiety, Stress, Depression, Grief, Loss, Suicide - Listener discretion advised. Also contains some mildly explicit language Life has this way sometimes of mounting up problems and situations which ultimately challenge your recovery. I have had a bit of a barrage of challenges these past few weeks which have left me stressed out and feeling hyper-anxious over the smallest things. Coupled with some "stuff" that I haven't felt able to deal with yet, has left me feeling vulnerable and has knocked my confidence to a real low. I am okay, I am aware of it and looking into ways of managing it - thankfully I have been referred back to counselling through work, which should hopefully provide me with a bit of a reprieve, even if my sessions are limited - I am never one to turn down help, especially if it concerns my health. I will keep you as updated as I can in the upcoming weeks, but I am doing ok and working through it as I always strive to. Lots of Love UCM XXX

Please forgive my absence once more from the airwaves of podcasting! It's true what they say about things all happening at once, and in my case, the past couple of weeks have been no exception! With drama galore, the past couple of weeks have certainly been a challenge on my health, wellbeing and at times .. sanity! **TRIGGER WARNING** - as always, most of my content on my podcast discusses mental health - anxiety, depression etc. Please note that this episode also discusses gynaecological issues - listener discretion advised. Apologies - this is possibly one of my longest recorded episodes to date! UCM xxx

TW: body image, alcohol, depression, mental ill health, I pick apart how body image has impacted on my life and even how i continue to critique myself on my wedding photos. Why do i lack such confidence and why does it keep holding me back?

What a couple of weeks it has been! Me and Big G finally tied the knot and now I'm faced with this whole new feeling of deep contentment. Is this just a temporary rush of hormones or is this something that will stay?

The build up to the Big Day, my emotions, thoughts and feelings on how months have turned to days and how I'm feeling as the wedding fast approaches!

Tonight's episode, I share how I am currently feeling and how my routine feels different at the moment, with some changes to my job role and the upcoming wedding plans. I talk about my current worries and how I know most are trivial and not worth worrying over - but I STILL worry about them nonetheless! Listener discretion advised - The content of this episode contains themes of anxiety As usual, expect a lot of waffle! This is just how my brain works!

After a tough few weeks in work and with other factors going on in my personal life, I have found it very gruelling and testing on my emotional wellbeing. As always, listener discretion is advised as I do talk about mental health, anxiety, grief, loss, family issues, suicide and depressive illness.

It's only a few short weeks away til the Wedding and suddenly the nerves are setting in! Work is being challenging and I don't know which way is up these days. But still I have to keep moving forward. Anxiety is always hanging around like a creepy ex or a jealous friend and waiting for me to fall down the moment I start to feel like I'm no longer in control. **As always listener discretion is advised, as most of my content refers to anxiety, depression and mental health struggles**

**TW: Anxiety and mental health - listener discretion advised. ** Tonight I wanted to focus more on how I live with anxiety and how it affects me in different ways and how it is not always necessarily a negative thing. I talk about how it's affecting me currently and how anxiety can lead to feelings of guilt and other emotions.

Most of my recent posts have been quite raw and emotional, so tonight I thought I would try and focus and redirect on to the positive things that are coming up in the pipeline

Hello again! Apologies for another lengthy absence! Tonight I try and fill in the gaps; whilst sharing how feeling so many feelings at once leaves me feeling like I have a brain full of bees. As always TW for content containing themes around mental ill health and grief - listener discretion advised. Explicit language also used x

Continuing on from recent posts about the loss of my estranged father and the cruel twist in my quest for closure; I explore how recent events have affected my thoughts, feelings and emotions. I look at other factors that drive me to keep moving forwards, and providing a healthy dose of distraction to prevent me from slipping backwards in my recovery. **TW: grief, depression, anxiety, parental loss, breakdown of parental relationship.**

This follows on from my previous episode and the response I got from one of my relatives. TW: grief, loss, family relationships, mental illness, suicidal thoughts, depression - listener discretion advised - occasional explicit language

**TW: Grief, loss, mental illness, abandonment, family issues - listener doscretion advised** Those who have read my latest blog post will know how I discovered that my estranged biological father passed away. How i was not contacted by his family and subsequently removed from the family. Please excuse the lengthy episode, I'm still trying to work it all out. Lots of love UCM xxx

**TRIGGER WARNING** this episode discusses grief, loss, mental ill health and themes of anxiety - Listener discretion advised. This episode kinda follows on from my previous two, where things got a bit much for me last week and how I should have spoken up about my feelings before it got to this stage. I neglected to take my own advice, and ended up breaking down again, unable to contain all the feelings and anxieties I had been experiencing, in addition to attending my friend' funeral, which was very hard. As always I discuss the importance of seeking out support, whether it be peer or professional and how talking can decompress some of that pressure that mounts up which can leave us feeling overwhelmed and exhausted. Keep talking, keep listening. Look out for your friends and loved ones, but also don't neglect your wellbeing. Useful links to helplines and charities on my Wordpress site - just search for Ulcerative Colitis Motherhood and Me and select the Useful Links tab Lots of love UCM xxx

**TRIGGER WARNING** Please be advised of the content at the beginning of this episode, where I recap the previous episode. This briefly talks about themes of suicide and mental health - Listener discretion advised. Tonight's episode talks about the concept of having "too many tabs open" in your head and trying to keep on top of all the tasks expected of you as well as organising several things at once. I talk about how I try and keep on top of feelings of being overwhelmed by stress or stressful situations and how, at present. I feel that things are under control, even though I worry about literally everything! UCM xx

*Trigger Warning* content includes suicide, mental illness and trauma. Content may be upsetting for some listeners, discretion advised. I never thought I would make an episode of this nature, but I felt it was important to share. I would like to dedicate this episode to someone who showed me so much kindness in the darkest of days, on hearing the heartbreaking news. Please keep talking about mental health, please reach out, check in on your friends/colleagues. It's ok not to be ok ❤️

Welcome to the new series of Podcast episodes! Happy New Year, here is my new podcast episode, which discusses the big plans for the year, the challenges and balancing the stress with the organising of what seems to be a hundred things at once! Arranging meetings, home improvements, financial pressures and the effects on overall wellbeing have at times, affected that little negative voice in the back of my mind and how I intend to challenge that default setting.

**TIGGER WARNING** - Tonight's episode does discuss mental ill health, OCD, anxiety and maternal mental health - Listener discretion is advised. Tonight wraps up 2021 for me, including my first experiences of being a podcaster and how it has changed my approach to social media. I talk about the highs and lows of the year and the topics I have covered in the podcast during those times. I talk about how my mental and physical health has been challenged again this year, but how I have also faced it and moved past it. Once again thank you to all of those who have taken the time to listen to be rabbiting on for hours on end! I couldn't have done this without you. Here's to a positive outlook on next year! Peace and love UCM xxx

**Tonight's episode contains themes of anxiety, depression and ill health which may Trigger some listeners. Listener discretion advised** Tonight I share my experience of seeing one of my favourite bands, Rise Against live in Leeds - and also how a pair of country bumpkins like us navigated the HUGE city! I also follow on from similar themes in recent episodes about stress and how it feeds the anxiety and how elements still affect my anxiety and why I think it is so deep-rooted. I share my experience of a really relatable podcast from Joe Rogan and Jewel Kilcher and how I found some of the content to resonate with me. I also share elements of my own experience of nature Vs nurture and how some words trigger painful memories of a mentally ill parent. Some swear words used - listener discretion advised

**TW: Mental health, anxiety, stress and low self esteem content - listener discretion advised** Tonight's episode follows on from the previous episode, where I talk about how stress impacts upon my overall mental wellbeing. I talk about the mounting pressures I place on myself and how I worry over asking for help. I have recorded this episode in my current mood and I talk about it openly and honestly in it's raw form, in order to prove that even those who have recovered in many ways from mental ill health, how bad days and "blips" can still occur along the way. I discuss the negative language that I often use about myself in these low moods and how I shouldn't. I end with some positive notes from other people, which have both moved and humbled me and keep me fighting the fight to end stigma when it comes to talking about mental health and wellbeing. Keep talking, be kind, be you. UCM xxx

Today's episode talks about how I manage stressful things and recognising when things are starting to get too much, before they are too much! Also please listen for a PODCAST ONLY EXCLUSIVE ANNOUNCEMENT!

This episode I talk about my struggles with parenthood and how current issues with my health may have affected my tolerance levels. I also talk about how parenting changes and evolves and how I have adopted a lot of how my parents raised me, but also areas which have been discarded. I talk briefly about the breakdown in the relationship between me and my birth father and how I am reluctant for Little G to know him. I also talk about the negative comments I STILL get for choosing to only have one child and how I will not consider having any more children. Please note - this episode contains some swearing and discussions about women's health, contraception, gynae problems and postnatal depression - Listener discretion advised.

Good evening! Tonight's episode I look at how the past couple of weeks have made me feel stressed and how stress can affect my anxiety. Please note: Tonight's episode discusses anxiety, mental health, intrusive thoughts and stress - listener discretion advised. I am not a trained therapist or counsellor - all areas discussed are from personal subjective experience. Please seek the relevant support, if required. Lots of love UCM xxx

Apologies for my 3 week absence or so, life has been crazy busy lately! This episode explains about the current situation with my time management (or lack thereof!) and trying to keep everything balanced, without anything challenging my mental wellbeing. As always I go off on a tangent and if you're happy enough to hear me prattle on about my work life balance, knitting, creativity, my undying love for Tom DeLonge and toxic friendships (See, I told you it would be random!) please give it a listen lots of love UCM xxx

In view of Mental Health Awareness Month, I wanted to talk about my experiences of being labelled as being over-sensitive and how it was used as an insult and how it made me feel like it was a weakness. TRIGGER WARNING - contains content discussing mental illness and past trauma. I explore the concept of an Empath and if there is such a thing as one. I discuss the pros and cons of being an "emotion sponge" and how I feel it benefits my role in healthcare.

On tonight's episode, I have enlisted the help of one of my dear mummy friends Rachael, where we discuss openly and honestly about our experiences with Maternal Mental Health and how our experiences with negative comments and language affected our transition into parenthood. TRIGGER WARNING! contains details of childbirth, birth trauma, maternal mental ill health, which may upset some listeners. In addition to this, please note is an informal discussion and does not substitute medical advice. We are just two mums putting the world to rights about what we wished we knew. This episode also highlights resources you may find helpful as well as some information such as the Birth Afterthoughts services which may be available in your local health Trust, where you can go through your notes with a member of the maternity services if it will be beneficial for you. Due to the remote recording, there may be some audio issues in tonight's episode, so apologies in advance. If you are interested in Rachael's services, please visit www.mamatotobirthing.co.uk, but she is also available on Facebook and Instagram. Much love as always

TRIGGER WARNING: This episode talks about intrusive thinking, OCD and compulsions. I also talk about bullying and past trauma. I open up about my experience of having OCD and how I have internalised it for most of my life. Note: I meant to say 1.2% when I talk about the statistics! Apologies. Credit to OCDUK.ORG for the supporting information for this episode

A late night episode where I talk about my experience of being a nurse in the midst of a global pandemic, and my worries for the mental health of Frontline workers once the pandemic is over.

**TRIGGER WARNING** contains details of childbirth, maternal mental illness and mental health issues. Please proceed with caution if any of these elements affect you. I talk about my experience with maternal ill health following a traumatic delivery and early days as a new parent and my mental health recovery.

This segment is my introduction to the podcasting world. I talk about my existing blog and associated media. I will briefly (I like to talk!) speak about how I was diagnosed with an autoimmune disease and the impact it had on me as a new mum and the impact it had on my mental health. I also talk about how I aim to use my experiences to reach out and help others.