Wisdom of the Wounded

Just Help is the title of a children's book written by one of our Supreme Court justices, Sonia Sotomayor. Although it's a kid's book, its message is for all ages. As we approach a new year, Just Help's message challenges us all to daily find ways to answer the central question of the book: “What […] The post Just Help appeared first on Wisdom of the Wounded.

Who can resist freshly baked homemade chocolate chip cookies (or any kind of cookie, for that matter?) How do you like to eat your chocolate chip cookies . . . Warm? With a glass of cold milk? With a cup of coffee? But guess what? You could enjoy those cookies even more if you share […] The post Who Can Resist a Chocolate Chip Cookie? appeared first on Wisdom of the Wounded.

Did you know that a person needs at least four hugs a day for healthy survival? Virginia Satir was a pioneering family therapist who is credited with the following quote: “We need four hugs a day for survival. We need eight hugs a day for maintenance. We need twelve hugs a day for growth.” Sometimes […] The post 4 Hugs a Day appeared first on Wisdom of the Wounded.

Which day of the week is the loneliest day for widows and widowers? Here is what a few grieving spouses have shared with me about feeling lonely. Glenda's husband was killed in a private plane crash, and she says, “I was completely devastated. It took about fifteen months before I was able to function in […] The post The Loneliest Day of the Week appeared first on Wisdom of the Wounded.

Rabbi Hirshel Jaffe, known as “The Running Rabbi” says, “For over 20 years as a rabbi, before my illness, I had helped others through crisis. I was supposed to have all the answers. Yet when I got sick, I discovered I didn't have them. I felt confused, frightened and desperate. My experience with serious illness […] The post Volunteering: Help Yourself by Helping Others appeared first on Wisdom of the Wounded.

When Ginger and I collected wisdom stories for our first book, The Compassionate Congregation, we asked individuals to (1) Describe a time when they suffered or grieved, and (2) What did people say or do which helped you during that difficult time?  During our interviews, man in his forties man told me, “A really difficult […] The post A 30-Year-Old Note appeared first on Wisdom of the Wounded.

My neighbor Debbie was ill, and I wanted to care for her, but I didn't know what to do.  It would be so helpful if individuals would just tell me how to help them. But that isn't always practical, because when someone is ill, it can be difficult for them to make decisions.  What should […] The post Multiple Choice Caregiving appeared first on Wisdom of the Wounded.

After suffering two strokes, my mother said to the doctor, “I don't know why God didn't just let me die?” The doctor said, “Must be God still has work for you to do.” Mom replied, “I can't imagine what that would be. I'm no good for anything!”  Then the doctor offered this observation: “It's your […] The post A Smile Works Wonders appeared first on Wisdom of the Wounded.

The world can seem dark with its news of escalating wars, people starving, friends and family members struggling with cancer, the upcoming presidential election, our nation's loneliness epidemic and other sad and scary news. Against this bleak backdrop, I read an article in The New York Times written by Catherine Price, “When the World Feels […] The post Finding Delight: A Positive Perspective appeared first on Wisdom of the Wounded.

Do you know an elderly relative or friend and wonder what to give them for Christmas? Here are some holiday gift ideas that are sure to show you care. Or how about a gift that gives all year long? What if you made a promise to visit your elderly loved one each month?  That's what […] The post Holiday Gifts for the Elderly appeared first on Wisdom of the Wounded.

What can a porcupine teach us about caregiving? In Martin Bell's book, The Way of the Wolf, he tells the story about a porcupine who was a misfit in society and had no friends: One day, a porcupine stumbled upon a raccoon who had been shot and was near death. The porcupine remained with the raccoon and heard […] The post A Porcupine's Lesson in Caregiving appeared first on Wisdom of the Wounded.

One summer day on my way home, I passed a lemonade stand, giving it a quick glimpse and a smile thinking “Ah, cute young girls and their little lemonade stands.”   However, later that day when I passed the lemonade stand again, I noticed a sign saying, “Emerson the Brave.” I was curious, so, I stopped, […] The post And a Child Shall Lead Us appeared first on Wisdom of the Wounded.

Did you know that crying is great for you? Well, I didn't know that either, but at a caregiving workshop, a nurse told us, “Tears are good for your health.” So, I went home, and I looked it up on Google and found more than 13 reasons that it's okay to have a good cry. […] The post Tears are Good for the Suffering and Caregivers Too appeared first on Wisdom of the Wounded.

Did you know that the word “comfort” is derived from a Greek word that means “to come alongside and encourage?” God says, “Go comfort my People” and asks us to walk alongside someone during their times of pain. It's a profound reminder that true comfort goes beyond mere words. But that's not always easy, is […] The post Beyond Platitudes: How to Offer Genuine Comfort to the Suffering appeared first on Wisdom of the Wounded.

Dr. Rachel Remen, author of Kitchen Table Wisdom, wrote, “When people are talking . . . listen to what they're saying.  Care about it. Don't interrupt.” I clearly remember a situation when I was sharing my distress over my mother's stroke with a friend. My friend asked, “How are you doing?” And I started to […] The post When to Avoid Saying “I Understand” appeared first on Wisdom of the Wounded.

I did it again! I just hate it when I forget to do important things. This time I forgot to call my niece on her birthday. She had been feeling alone lately, so it was especially important that I connect with her. But the day came and went, and I just forgot. Do you forget […] The post Remembering to Reach Out: Tips for Keeping Others in Mind appeared first on Wisdom of the Wounded.

I wish I could find and talk with a man who was on Flight # DL 2297, Minneapolis to Grand Rapids, Michigan on May 1, 2023.  I want to apologize to him for treating him badly.  It all started when I was in the middle seat and Larry, my husband, was in the window seat.  […] The post To the Man in Seat 19D, I Am Sorry! appeared first on Wisdom of the Wounded.

A note from Karen: I read this story in Chicken Soup for the Soul. Further research indicated that this story originally appeared in The Star Thrower by Loren Eiseley.  It is a wonderful story about how each of us can make a difference. Starfish Story A friend of ours was walking down a deserted Mexican […] The post We Can All Make a Difference appeared first on Wisdom of the Wounded.

A note to readers: when we reach out to care for someone who is suffering, conversations may turn to God. Perhaps you will find wisdom in the following words. May it help you care for others. Confused.  Wondering. Questioning: Why does God allow bad things to happen to good people?  How can God be an […] The post God's Promises appeared first on Wisdom of the Wounded.

“Encourage one another daily.” (Hebrews 3:13.) When did you last encourage someone? Here's a story for inspiration.  One summer day my sister and I were walking down the beach in Florida when we noticed at a distance a group of people standing in two lines facing each other. We wondered what they were doing. When […] The post Encourage One Another appeared first on Wisdom of the Wounded.

One month ago, cancer became up-close and personal. For years, I have listened to individuals tell their cancer stories. I have read volumes of information about cancer. I have prayed for those with cancer. My ministry's mission is to offer “how-to-help” podcasts and blog posts for those who care for a loved one with cancer.  […] The post My First 30 Days on a Cancer Journey appeared first on Wisdom of the Wounded.

There have been many special presents over the years which I have unwrapped and enjoyed; however, some of my most treasured gifts were not wrapped with paper but spoken to me by individuals who know me and love me – individuals who have: Rejoiced with me when I celebrated and mourned with me when I […] The post Spoken Gifts appeared first on Wisdom of the Wounded.

I have the following poem by Henry Van Dyke on my refrigerator to remind me each day during Advent to get ready for the Christmas celebration. Are you willing— to stoop down and consider the needs and desiresof little children;to remember the weakness and loneliness of peoplewho are growing old; to stop asking how much […] The post Are You Ready for Christmas? appeared first on Wisdom of the Wounded.

We have a saying in our ministry: “Small acts of kindness can make a big difference.” This is a perfect time to reflect on that saying because November 13 is World Kindness Day.  The next two months will be full of holiday celebrations, which can create a hectic feeling and make us believe we “don't […] The post Let's Make Every Day World Kindness Day appeared first on Wisdom of the Wounded.

So far as we know, Jesus' brothers and sisters were not present at the crucifixion. With one exception, his disciples were no-shows. The people whose sight Jesus had restored, whose bodies he had healed, they weren't present. But when Jesus looked down from the cross, through a haze of pain, he saw that his mother […] The post Don't Just Do Something, Stand There appeared first on Wisdom of the Wounded.

Someone once told me, “If you are with a person who is crying, do not hand them a Kleenex.”  Surprised, I questioned why?  He said, “because that signals to them that you want them to stop crying.” Really?  Please listen to this:  If your friend (or loved one) is crying and their eyes and nose […] The post Kleenex and a Hug, Please appeared first on Wisdom of the Wounded.

Trigger Warning: Mention of intense body image I've reached the point where ‘Wow! You look amazing! I can definitely tell you've lost weight' Isn't a compliment anymore But on the exterior I'm not the type of girl you question So you say “how did you do it” And instead slapping on the reality of the […] The post The Nature of Dis Order appeared first on Wisdom of the Wounded.

I lied to my daughter. She asked me, while we were standing on the shoreline of the ocean, “What if I get stung by a Man o' War?” To which I quickly replied, “You won't”. I wanted her to be brave. I didn't want her to be afraid or scared of the ocean like I […] The post Kids Can Handle the Truth appeared first on Wisdom of the Wounded.

The post I Have Been Married for 57 Years, But . . . appeared first on Wisdom of the Wounded.

By: Colleen Arnold, MD Pain is a universal experience. Whether it is the temporary hurt of a broken ankle or something more permanent like arthritis, every single human being suffers it at some point in their lives. There is no such thing as a pain-free life this side of heaven. It can be physical, mental, […] The post When Someone You Love is in Pain appeared first on Wisdom of the Wounded.

God tells us, “You shall stand up before the gray head and honor the face of an old man (or woman), and you shall fear your God: I am the Lord.”  Leviticus 19:32 Maybe I like this strong directive from God because at this point in my life I am a “gray head.” (More like “white […] The post Stand up Before the Gray Head appeared first on Wisdom of the Wounded.

Jesus tells us, “Love your neighbor,” and he does not add, “when you feel like it.” Deanna Thompson is Professor of Religion at Hamline University in St. Paul, Minnesota and has written a book about her journey with Stage IV breast cancer. The title of her book is Hoping for More: Having Cancer, Talking Faith, […] The post Be There Even When You Don’t Want To appeared first on Wisdom of the Wounded.

When I visited with my mother in the nursing home I always enjoyed talking with a woman named Susan, who, despite significant physical challenges, always seemed to choose the positive in any given situation. During our meaningful chats, Susan shared wisdom gained from living with limited physical mobility and using a wheelchair. She has the […] The post 3 Ways to Respect Those in a Nursing Home appeared first on Wisdom of the Wounded.

God’s best relationship advice is “Love One Another.”  To the point and simple, right? I’m not proud to admit it, but sometimes that advice is difficult for me to follow. When I don’t know how to handle a situation, I tend to avoid it. So when I’m called to “love” another who looks different (maybe […] The post GOD’S BEST RELATIONSHIP ADVICE appeared first on Wisdom of the Wounded.

Cole Arthur Riley, author of Black Liturgies writes, “We were made for beauty and truth and goodness.”  During Lent, Christians reflect on the truths of our lives and our world. During these 40 days, I personally acknowledge how I have ignored, hurt, and, at times, rejected God, others, and myself. Then, with Easter comes the […] The post The Everyday Good News of Easter appeared first on Wisdom of the Wounded.

By Chris Marlink Our family was having a rough day. As we sat down to dinner, it was clear that an accumulation of slights, grievances, and careless words left us feeling wounded and angry. When asked what had happened during the day, our children immediately began to prosecute their cases against one another; everyone was deemed […] The post Becoming a Family that Practices Honor appeared first on Wisdom of the Wounded.

By Cheryl Edwards-Cannon My mother lived with dementia for more than 15 years. For as long as she was able, I made every effort to take her along with me whenever I did my errands. It was good for her and I truly enjoyed her company. That’s not to say that going out was easy. […] The post Sanity Tips for Taking a Loved One with Dementia on an Outing appeared first on Wisdom of the Wounded.

I am a hugger. When the COVID-19 pandemic was in full swing, I missed hugging my grandkids. We know that when seniors and kids connect everyone benefits, so Larry and I got creative with our (safe) socializing. The ideas we came up with like visiting our great-granddaughters with silly signs were necessary during the pandemic, […] The post When Seniors and Kids Connect Everyone Benefits appeared first on Wisdom of the Wounded.

By Sarah My relationship with my grandmother is difficult. While I was growing up, we fought over boundaries and ideas, because we have very differing opinions on the ways of the world.  I would frequently get lectured for the simplest offense. It was like she was talking AT me, not conversing with me. She seemed […] The post Listening to Differing Opinions appeared first on Wisdom of the Wounded.

By Lindsay Cherry The year I was in third grade, we were taught to write in cursive. To my young mind, cursive writing was “fancy.” I couldn’t wait to learn to make the fun swoops and dips with my pencil, concentrating, brow furrowed, to get my penmanship “just so.” Little did I know that the […] The post A Name on a Chalkboard Changed My Life appeared first on Wisdom of the Wounded.

Today I am grumpy.  Really grumpy . . . because my list of “I can’ts” seems impossibly long: I can’t walk because my hip hurts, the COVID pandemic has grounded me, I can’t worship with my church family and I can’t lose weight, just to name of few. So today I am grumpy.  I was […] The post I Am Grumpy! appeared first on Wisdom of the Wounded.

As I write this, we are nearing the one-year anniversary of the COVID-19 pandemic. We’ve all had to be creative and look for ways to create connection while maintaining physical distance. Although youngsters have been able to withstand the effects of the virus better than their elders, many still suffer. How can you create joyful […] The post Ask Youth to Take a Hike appeared first on Wisdom of the Wounded.

Did you know that 61% of Americans report that they are lonely? I recently read about a wonderful program by the AARP called “Friendly Voices.” Volunteers make phone calls to lonely individuals who have requested to hear from someone. In the first few months of the program, which was started during the COVID 19 pandemic […] The post Be a Friendly Voice to the Lonely appeared first on Wisdom of the Wounded.

by Lisa Braunius If you had told me when my husband and I decided to start a family that our journey would take place over six years, I would have laughed an uneasy laugh, leaning towards denial of the truth. Or, I would have questioned whether I wanted to move forward on this journey. As […] The post Infertility is a Journey Not a Race appeared first on Wisdom of the Wounded.

When the presidential election returns are counted and a president is named, I wonder: how will people react? Some people will be happy; others will not.  I am concerned that there will be more of what we’ve witnessed this year: chaos, destruction and division.  I have worried.  I have prayed.  I have wondered what I, […] The post My Post-Election Pledge – Will You Join Me? appeared first on Wisdom of the Wounded.

Are you having a bad day? Or perhaps even just a horrendous hour? Here are my favorite ways to release the feelings of being uptight when life gets me down. Any of these ideas are a good way to practice self-care. Name It. Just the simple act of naming your emotions can help ease fear and […] The post Practicing Self-Care: 10 Tips for Dealing with a Bad Day appeared first on Wisdom of the Wounded.

By Carolyn Lowstuter When my husband was fired from his job, it through us both for a loop. Thankfully, that difficult time is long past. Here are ten things I learned about how to support your spouse after a layoff. Don’t read too much into emotions. They happen for a number of reasons. Recognize that […] The post 10 Tips for Supporting Your Spouse After a Layoff appeared first on Wisdom of the Wounded.

At the time that I write this, our country is experiencing especially large job losses due to the COVID 19 pandemic. But even after we rebound from this pandemic, there will always be the unfortunate situation of unemployment. How can we help an unemployed friend? Here are my ideas. Ask them how they are, then […] The post Caring Gestures for an Unemployed Friend appeared first on Wisdom of the Wounded.

Job loss is painful. Research indicates that for many, losing a job may trigger an extended period of grief, similar to losing a loved one to death. With millions of people who are unemployed each year, each of us probably knows someone who is out of a job at the moment. What can we say? […] The post What Should We Say to an Out-of-Work Friend? appeared first on Wisdom of the Wounded.

My husband Larry and I have known Steve for over thirty years and every time I have seen him, he has a big radiant smile on his face.  His words match his smile as he offers cheer to everyone. Sadly, during the past two years cancer has invaded his life. Yet Steve continues to offer […] The post Let a Cancer Patient Speak Their Truth appeared first on Wisdom of the Wounded.

When I attended Western Theological Seminary, I was befriended by a man named Stan, one of my professors. As the years went by, Stan and his wife Nancy became friends. A year ago, Stan died after a battle with Parkinson’s disease. Shortly after the anniversary of Stan’s death, I saw Nancy. Her face was radiant […] The post Light a Yahrzeit Candle on the Anniversary of a Loved One’s Death appeared first on Wisdom of the Wounded.