Podcasts about Virginia Satir

In this episode of Grow a Small Business, host Troy Trewin interviews Mark LaScola, founder of On The Mark, a professional services firm specializing in organization design. Mark shares his 35-year journey, growing from a spare bedroom startup to a team of 40, culminating in a 2024 acquisition. He reveals insights on balancing leadership, resilience, and team collaboration. Mark also discusses the importance of documenting processes for scaling success. Don't miss his advice on creating sustainable change and staying agile in business. Why would you wait any longer to start living the lifestyle you signed up for? Balance your health, wealth, relationships and business growth. And focus your time and energy and make the most of this year. Let's get into it by clicking here. Troy delves into our guest's startup journey, their perception of success, industry reconsideration, and the pivotal stress point during business expansion. They discuss the joys of small business growth, vital entrepreneurial habits, and strategies for team building, encompassing wins, blunders, and invaluable advice. And a snapshot of the final five Grow A Small Business Questions: What do you think is the hardest thing in growing a small business? Mark LaScola believes the hardest thing in growing a small business is perseverance. He highlights the challenges of getting up every day, coping with ambiguity, and consistently putting one foot in front of the other despite setbacks. Mark emphasizes the importance of resilience, maintaining health, and finding ways to handle the psychological and physical demands of running a business over time. What's your favourite business book that has helped you the most? Mark LaScola's favorite business books include "Good to Great" by Jim Collins, "The Learning Organization" by Peter Senge, and Edgar Schein's works on process consultation. He also admires early communication works by Virginia Satir, which have profoundly influenced his approach to leadership and organizational design. Are there any great podcasts or online learning resources you'd recommend to help grow a small business? Mark LaScola recommends exploring a variety of podcasts and online learning resources to grow a small business. While he doesn't focus on any single resource, he values content on economics, behavioral science, and creative industries for diverse perspectives. Mark avoids overly popularized shows and prefers podcasts with substance and actionable insights, such as those focusing on behavioral economics, leadership, and business strategy. He believes branching out beyond one's industry can spark valuable ideas and foster innovation. What tool or resource would you recommend to grow a small business? Mark LaScola emphasizes the importance of listening to your customers and adapting your products or services based on market trends and feedback. While he doesn't highlight a specific tool, he recommends mastering strategic planning and understanding how to anticipate and respond to changes in the marketplace. He believes these skills are essential for staying competitive and fostering sustainable business growth. What advice would you give yourself on day one of starting out in business? Mark LaScola's advice for starting out in business revolves around resilience, passion, and adaptability. He emphasizes following your instincts and staying focused on your vision, even amidst uncertainties. Challenges are inevitable, but they teach resilience and the importance of solving problems early to create options. Building a strong support system is essential for navigating tough times, while celebrating small wins helps maintain momentum. Above all, he encourages staying grounded, planning for the unexpected, and embracing the unpredictable nature of entrepreneurship. Book a 20-minute Growth Chat with Troy Trewin to see if you qualify for our upcoming course. Don't miss out on this opportunity to take your small business to new heights! Enjoyed the podcast? Please leave a review on iTunes or your preferred platform. Your feedback helps more small business owners discover our podcast and embark on their business growth journey.     Quotable quotes from our special Grow A Small Business podcast guest: Follow your passion, but stay grounded and ready for the unexpected – Mark LaScola Success begins with listening to your customers and adapting to their needs – Mark LaScola Resilience is the key to navigating the inevitable challenges of business – Mark LaScola      

Entfessle das volle Potenzial deiner Kommunikation!In dieser Episode von NLP Lernen mit myNLP und Dr. Mario Grabner tauchen wir in das Meta-Modell der Sprache ein – ein bahnbrechendes Werkzeug, das von den NLP-Begründern Richard Bandler und John Grinder entwickelt wurde. 

"And a lot of that don't have a choice, what happens is it puts us in a place where we feel very victimy and helpless, which leads to resentment and anger."Karen & Paul explore how to navigate conflict by assessing personal values and considering a wide range of choices. They emphasize understanding why a situation matters, outlining all possible actions, and predicting likely outcomes to choose the best option.

Spotlight auf Virginia Satir!

00:00 How Jenny started working with clients with CFS/ME03:00 How the patterns became so clear led to explore solutions and begin teaching05:06 High sensitivity and trauma combine with emotional responsibility 06:40 Jenny's approach interwoven with who she is and holding others in safety - no 'off the peg'  solution. But did teach the compassion and acceptance of reparenting the inner child to others.09:46 This is an art not a science - the clinical nature needs to go - ignores the witnessing, held in safety even in most healing models11:14 Working while present allows for a creative solution that is client led - my model was Virginia Satir who really connected with the bodymind of her clients13:46 The use of spirituality in working - knowing your purpose and where you belong - = a spiritual purpose grounded in presence - listening with the heart to what is NOT said15:50 Looking for wholeness in connection with others and self is a refinement process 18:35 Intuitive /second sense of what is being presented - the real self vs. the false self20:00 CFS/ME is a holding place/stasis of protection against vulnerability. Letting go of fear is the first step to healing.22:16 What's going on in the world that leads you away from an inner knowing. A useful distraction to keep you hooked into world events and an authoritarian narrative24:13 Social media drives a lot of the disconnection. Gender wars. Polarisation. Outsourced our power to others. Being yourself allows for diversity.26:10 Being with uncertainty is the biggest negotiation we make on this journey. A dance of flexibility.27:50 Whose side are you on? Counter to finding your own answers within. Communitarian mass media culture defines anyone who disagrees as rightwing/woke30:49 You can still disagree and still be loved when you are self-directed and tuned into a collective consciousness that is willing to explore uncertainty and nuance. The dance of wholeness32:46 women's voices in this space - needs fierce female leaders with heart - the elders/ crones/ wise women who shine a light on what's wrong  and show by example.34:35 you have agency - inspiring others to know this. Wild unleasing - true feminine energy/power36:50 Final thoughts. Let go and let it unfold.Find Jenny on openmindtherapy.co.uk and me on alchemytherapies.co.uk *If you're suffering from Chronic pain, fatigue or anxiety, I CAN HELP*CONTACT ME: https://www.alchemytherapies.co.uk/Alchemy Therapies & Emotional MasterclassOTHER USEFUL RESOURCESGroup Healing Program: http://myemotionalaudit.comAuthor/Book site: https//patriciaworby.comPodcast: https://www.alchemytherapies.co.uk/po...121 and group therapy and training for stress related conditions like anxiety, fatigue and pain: https://alchemytherapies.co.ukSee in particular: Thrive! - an introductory mindbody connection program and The Emotional Audit for more intensive training.COMING SOON:Intensive Training Program: https://emotionalmasterclass.com

Did you know that a person needs at least four hugs a day for healthy survival? Virginia Satir was a pioneering family therapist who is credited with the following quote: “We need four hugs a day for survival. We need eight hugs a day for maintenance. We need twelve hugs a day for growth.” Sometimes […] The post 4 Hugs a Day appeared first on Wisdom of the Wounded.

Join Brian and Bernie Maloney as they explore the transformative power of mental models, emphasizing the shift from a mechanistic to an organic mindset in Agile organizations. Overview In this episode, Brian and Bernie Maloney discuss the profound impact of mental models on organizational culture. Bernie delves into how our beliefs and assumptions shape our thinking and behavior, particularly within Agile environments. He discusses the importance of transitioning from a mechanistic to an organic mindset, focusing on problem-solving rather than merely delivering solutions. The conversation also highlights the role of psychological safety in fostering a culture of experimentation and learning. Bernie shares valuable resources, including Amy Edmondson's 'The Right Kind of Wrong,' to further explore these concepts. Tune in for insightful strategies for enhancing your organization's agility and effectiveness. Listen Now to Discover: [1:03] - Brian welcomes Certified Scrum Trainer® and Principal at Power By Teams, Bernie Maloney, to the show. [2:15] - Bernie delves into the concept of mental models, sharing the origins of his philosophy of "making new mistakes" developed during his time at Hewlett Packard. [5:55] - Bernie illustrates the power of mental models and belief by sharing a compelling example that brings these concepts to life. [13:46] - Join us for a Certified Scrum Product Owner® Training, where a year of coaching and development with Mike Cohn, Brian, and the Agile Mentors Community of Agile leaders is included with your training. [14:39] - Bernie discusses how applying mental models can enhance the effectiveness of Agile transformations, creating a naturally adaptive and innovative climate. [18:12] - Bernie offers language as a powerful tool to support the shift to a new Mental Model. [23:30] - Bernie demonstrates the use of mental models for product owners through the Mobius Loop, providing actionable guidance and examples [26:27] - Brian shares a big thank you to Bernie for joining him on the show. [26:59] - If you enjoyed this episode, share it with a friend, and like and subscribe to the Agile Mentors Podcast so you never miss a new episode. [27:27] - If you’d like to continue this discussion, join the Agile Mentors Community. You get a year of free membership to that site by taking any class with Mountain Goat Software, such as CSM, CSPO, or Mike Cohn’s Better User Stories Course. We'd love to see you in one of Mountain Goat Software's classes. You can find the schedule here. References and resources mentioned in the show: Bernie Maloney Power By Teams Mobius Loop The Right Kind of Wrong: The Science of Failing Well by Amy Edmondson Agile Teams Learn From Spikes: Time Boxed Research Activities by Mike Cohn Certified Scrum Product Owner® Training Certified ScrumMaster® Training and Scrum Certification Mike Cohn’s Better User Stories Course Mountain Goat Software Certified Scrum and Agile Training Schedule Join the Agile Mentors Community Subscribe to the Agile Mentors Podcast Want to get involved? This show is designed for you, and we’d love your input. Enjoyed what you heard today? Please leave a rating and a review. It really helps, and we read every single one. Got an Agile subject you’d like us to discuss or a question that needs an answer? Share your thoughts with us at podcast@mountaingoatsoftware.com This episode’s presenters are: Brian Milner is SVP of coaching and training at Mountain Goat Software. He's passionate about making a difference in people's day-to-day work, influenced by his own experience of transitioning to Scrum and seeing improvements in work/life balance, honesty, respect, and the quality of work. Bernie Maloney is an Agile leadership coach and international speaker, leverages his 25 years of engineering and leadership experience to help teams and organizations unlock their full potential. Known for his engaging workshops and impactful coaching, Bernie believes in making performance breakthroughs both achievable and enjoyable. Auto-generated Transcript: Brian (00:00) Welcome in Agile Mentors. We are back for another episode of the Agile Mentors Podcast. I am with you as always, Brian Milner. And today I have a very special guest with me. I have Mr. Bernie Maloney with me. Welcome in, Bernie. I am. Bernie Maloney (00:14) Thanks, Brian. Happy to be here. Brian (00:16) Great. I'm so excited to have Bernie here. Bernie and I have touched base for years over conferences. We've run into each other and had chats and shared our shared passion for Hawaii and other things. But Bernie was speaking at the recent conference and we've gotten into some conversations. I wanted him to come on because I wanted him to, first of all, if you're not familiar with Bernie, sorry, I see, I just want to jump right into it. If you're not familiar with Bernie, Bernie is a CST. He works at a company called Powered by Teams. He teaches classes, Scrum Master product owner classes and leadership classes and other things as well. But he is a principal at Powered by Teams. So just wanted to give you the basics there before we dive into anything. But the topic that we started to talk about that just as a jumping off place for us is a topic. the topic of mental models. So Bernie, why don't you explain to everyone how you define that, mental models. Bernie Maloney (01:23) So, Brian, this is a great topic. I find myself talking about it all the time. And y 'all, I warned Brian, like, he can press play on this, and it might be 15 minutes before he gets a word in edgewise here. It touches on mindset. It touches on a lot of topics. My talk that Brian was referencing at the recent Scrum gathering in New Orleans was make new mistakes, leadership lessons from an Agile success. which goes back to where I really kind of cut my teeth in Agile at Hewlett Packard. See, I'm a mechanical engineer by training. And I cut my teeth in Agile in the consumer PC division at HP about, this is scary to say y 'all, okay, about 27 years ago starting at this point. And some of the fun stuff, it was a bang up enterprise. It was the fastest business in HP's history to hit a billion dollars. And it was just... Brian (02:05) Yeah. Bernie Maloney (02:18) a great proving ground. We had hardware, we had software, we had distributed teams where volume manufacturing was in Asia, engineering was here where I am in Silicon Valley. Go -to -market for Europe was in Grenoble, France. We had high volume. Some of our products had 100 ,000 units in a single model run, with like 200 models in Europe on a quarterly basis at times. So high volume, high mix, tight margins from a business perspective. A lot of technology products want to have 20 % to 30 % gross margins. That's before you start taking off deductions like expenses and salaries and things like that. On a good day, we had 8 % gross margins for Christmas products, maybe 2 % gross margins. We used to refer to it as we were shipping rotting bananas. And like I said, I was there. When I started, we were shipping six products a quarter. We grew to 20. By the time I left after eight years, we were doing 200 products a quarter in Europe alone. Brian (03:04) Ha ha. Bernie Maloney (03:16) hardware, software, distributed teams, high volume, high mix. And we did all that with weekly iterations of a plan. At one point in my career, I was tactically responsible for the delivery of 2 % of HP's top line revenue with zero direct reports. And part of the secret sauce of success in that organization was really that mental model of make new mistakes. So that's where the talk title comes from. And in fact, makenewmistakes .com will point to poweredbyteams .com because I own that domain too. But that mental model really helped the organization thrive and not just survive. We went from like a number one to a number five share. Sorry, from a number five to a number one the other way around. Because the founding executives recognized that in that tide of a market, mistakes were probably going to happen. And so what they did is they established the psychological safety. Wow, look, there's another great topic. Make new mistakes. You knew that if it was an honest mistake, it would be forgiven. Just don't make it again. Get the lesson is one of the things that they said. I can even tell you the story about the weekend I blew a million dollars of HP's money and I was forgiven, but you'll have to come to a conference talk for that. So that was just like a great experience. And... Brian (04:32) Wow. Bernie Maloney (04:39) After that experience, I went on to TVs. Another part of my background is I shipped the very first internet connected TVs. Look it up, the Media Smart 3760 from HP. It shipped even before Apple TV. It bombed. Okay, it was way ahead of its time. But I recognized that that had been such a joyride. And then I recognized some other stuff that really gets into the psychological, the mental aspects of leadership, high performing teams. And I could, Brian, I could talk about that too, but okay. But that kind of got me to recognize that with those skills, the success that I had experienced at HP could probably be replicated. That's kind of been the path that I've been on for the past 15 years is really helping organizations go along that path. So mental models can be really big. Let me give everybody here an example. And so Brian, I'm going to speak to you as a way of illustrating mental models. So imagine you are physically where you are right now. Brian (05:24) Yeah. Bernie Maloney (05:37) but it is 150 years ago, okay? Imagine you're physically where you are right now, but it's 150 years ago. Now, Brian, let me ask you, can man fly? Brian (05:47) boy, you're testing my history knowledge. Bernie Maloney (05:52) Okay, make it 200 years ago, okay? That makes it easier. Okay, cool. Great, now fast forward to the present. Brian, let me ask you, can man fly? Brian (05:54) No, yeah, no. Yes. Bernie Maloney (06:02) What changed? Nothing about the laws of physical reality. It was just your mental model of what for man to fly means. That's the power of belief, okay? And belief limits a whole bunch of stuff in the way that people behave. So you'll hear Agilent talk all the time about, this is all about changing mindset. I'm probably, Brian, gonna give your listeners some ways of. Brian (06:06) invention. Bernie Maloney (06:30) changing mindset as we go through this, but that's going to illustrate the power of mental models. Now, a big one that I like to use that's specific to Agile comes from Gabby Benefield. She's an Agilist out of the UK, and it's called the Mobius Loop. And I think she's got the domain mobiusloop .com. So everybody can imagine a Mobius Loop. Okay. And what I really like about this model for her... Brian (06:32) Sure, yeah, please. Yeah. Bernie Maloney (06:56) i s the right -hand half is what a lot of organizations think Agile is. Build, measure, learn, build, measure, learn. The whole idea of the build trap that we talk about in Agile. It's all about the delivery of a solution. Okay? But the left -hand half is all about the discovery of the problem. Okay? And the discovery of the customer. And that's a part of Agile too that most organizations overlook. So you got to ask why. And it comes down to kind of mental models. So when I was at Persistent, if you go look me up on LinkedIn, you'll find some of my employment history. I was at Persistent for a while. They had a really good mental model. And it's something I still use when I go into a client. And they would talk about there's kind of three eras of a company culture. And so culture is really the environment that an organization lives within. And there's an era. where cultures were formed before the internet. So things like finance and government and mining and manufacturing and oil and gas field developed. I mean, I've had clients in all of these areas. And in that sort of an environment, okay, it was, well, an era. One of the things I'll ask, and Brian, I'll kind of like let you represent the audience. Would you say in general, the people that you work with, the markets that they serve, Are they moving faster and all up into a thumbs up, slower, thumbs down, or about the same, thumbs sideways? Are the markets moving faster, slower, or about the same as they were, say, five or 10 years ago? Brian (08:32) I think everything's moving faster, yeah. Bernie Maloney (08:34) Cool. Okay. Now, how about the technology that your clients use to solve problems for that market? You know, moving faster, thumbs up, slower, thumbs down, or about the same as it was, say, five or 10 years ago. Faster. Yeah, cool. Okay. Now, when things are moving faster, thumbs up for yes, thumbs down for no. Do they always move in a straight line? Brian (08:46) No, faster. No, not always. Bernie Maloney (08:56) Okay, cool. So now things are moving faster, but they're not moving in a straight line. So let me ask you, do most organizations try and plan and predict? Is it possible for you to plan and predict when things are moving faster and they're not moving in a straight line? Is it easier or harder to plan and predict? Brian (09:19) I think it's definitely harder. Bernie Maloney (09:21) Yeah, but organizations are trying to do that, aren't they? And it's because their mental model is as a machine. So organizations born before the internet have a mental model of the entire organizational system being a machine, the industrial age, which you can plan and predict. They treat people like cogs in a machine. In fact, the thing that us Agilists will say is, when you say resources, did you mean people? See, that's... Brian (09:35) Yeah. Bernie Maloney (09:50) That's kind of now we're starting to get into some of the culture aspects of this because language actually forms culture. And so you'll hear Angela say, did you mean people? Like when that whole word of resources comes up. But organizations born before the internet, they've got one culture. Okay, they were born in an era of plan and predict. They've got a mental model of the system being a machine. And your listeners would probably agree most of them struggle with Agile. Okay, now there's another era born in the internet but not the cloud. So some examples like here in Silicon Valley, Cisco, PayPal, okay, lots of us have had exposure to them and lots of us recognize they still struggle with agile because agile wasn't really fully formed and articulated. Then there are organizations that were born in the cloud and so places like Striper Square and I use payments because I've had... clients in finance across all three of these eras. So Stripe or Square, they were born in the cloud where things were almost natively agile because the Agile Manifesto had been published by that point. They just inherently get agile. So these mental models of your organizational system being a machine get reflected in the language. So things like people or resources, it turns them into objects. It enables something I've heard called pencil management. Wear them down to a nub, go get a new one. In fact, if you do the research on where the word resources was first applied to human beings, it might shock some people. So I don't talk about that openly. They'll have to find me privately. I'll be happy to point you out the reference. And once I do, it's like, ooh. But one of the jokes I'll crack. And this is one of the ways that you can start to shift the language. If people call you resources, because you know that turns you into an object, start calling them overhead. Brian (11:23) Yeah. Ha ha ha. Bernie Maloney (11:48) Okay, it can kind of make the difference there. Okay, so, but you know, if things are moving faster and they're harder to plan and predict, that mental model needs to shift. In fact, in agile, we talk about you need to move to sense and respond. When things are moving faster, it's kind of like Gretzky, skate to where the puck is going. You need to sense and respond to the situation. So a better mental model instead of a mechanism is an organism. Because think about organisms, like cut yourself, it heals, okay? It senses and responds. Or like a forest fire comes in, wipes things out, and nature always kind of fills things back in. Sense and respond. This gets reflected in the language. So Brian, do your clients talk about metrics? Brian (12:37) Of course, yes. Bernie Maloney (12:38) Okay, cool. So do they talk about efficiency? Brian (12:41) I would say a lot of businesses will talk about that. Yeah, sure. Bernie Maloney (12:44) Yeah, cool. That's the language of machines. Probably better language is diagnostics instead of metrics. That invokes some of the curiosity. And probably instead of efficiency is effectiveness. One of the things I'll say is scrum is not efficient. It's not about utilization of capacity. It's about the production of value, which is all about effectiveness. See, efficiency or effective. Do you go to your doctor for an efficient treatment? or ineffective treatment, Brian. Brian (13:16) Effective, hopefully. Bernie Maloney (13:17) Awesome. Do you go for blood metrics or blood diagnostics? Brian (13:21) Yeah, diagnostics for sure. Bernie Maloney (13:23) Yeah, so now you're starting to get some hints about how you can start to shift the mental model. What you're really doing with Agile, y 'all, is you're shifting the culture, and culture is hard because it's not visible. The tools, the processes, the practices that folks like Brian and I will teach and coach, they're super visible, they're super valuable, but they're often not enough to start to change things. So, Brian, would you say most of your listeners are familiar? familiar with the language of Tuchman of forming, storming, norming, and performing. Brian (13:56) I'd say there's probably a good percentage, yeah. Bernie Maloney (13:58) Cool. I actually like to draw a Satir curve. So Bruce Tuckman, Virginia Satir, they were contemporaries. They were both just researching human systems. So Virginia did a performance axis on the vertical and a time axis on the horizontal. And the way Virginia described it is you're kind of going along in a certain status quo. And so you're kind of along that baseline. And then a foreign element enters and some change. And then you descend into chaos. And you can't see it. like your performance goes down until you have a transformative idea and then through some practice and integration, you rise to a new status quo. This happens to people all the time when they introduce changes in their life like New Year's resolutions. I'm going to get fit and healthy this year. You know, it's a beach body time. And you start doing it and it's like, this is so hard. You're in chaos. And what human beings want to do is they want to go back to the way things were instead of moving through. OK, this happens when you introduce agile into your organization. You'll hear Agilist talk about this as the Agile antibodies. You introduce it, this is so hard, and people want to go back to the way things were instead of kind of moving through. So the tools, the processes, the practices, they're really good, but they're not powerful enough. You got to start changing the culture. Culture is like what we all swim in, but climate is something that you can start to affect. So climate is a little bit closer in to your team, and you can start talking about these mental models. Like when I was at TiVo, I was hired into TiVo to bring Agile in because I had shipped TVs, I knew about Agile. And I was hired in on, I think I can say this now because we're more than a decade past. Have you all ever streamed anything? Yeah, okay. So TiVo was working on that in like 2009, 2010. I got to see that stuff and I was like, really wish I had taken off for them. But that program... Brian (15:42) yeah. Bernie Maloney (15:54) disbanded, okay, and the culture kind of spread in the organization. And I knew that this was a possibility, so when I brought it in, I made sure I didn't just work with my team that was doing a Skunk Works project, where we were just kind of doing some internal development that we weren't, you know, or stealth is probably a better word these days. So a stealth program inside of TiVo that you couldn't talk about. I knew that... when Agile would spread, it would hit some of this resistance, these antibodies. And so I made a case for bringing in people from outside my team so that it was familiar. And when that program disbanded, it organically spread on the cloud side of TiVo because of some of this stuff. So within your own team, you can kind of create a climate. And then when you start to see results like that, that's going to start attracting kind of the rest of the culture that's there. But these mental models, like shifting from mechanism to organism can really help an organization recognize where their limiting beliefs are about how things go. And it's going to be reflected in language. So if you like dive into anthropology a little bit, you're going to recognize that it's really well established. You can change a culture by starting to change the language. And all of us, okay, if you're observing what's going on in Eastern Ukraine here in 2024, that's what's going on. with the Russian occupation, they're changing the language because that's going to change the culture. That's why they're doing stuff like that. So, and even language starts to shape the mental models that you've got. A good example of something like that was when European, you know, when European explorers is the language I'll use, came to the Americas, the natives didn't really have a language for ship. And so they saw these people coming in floating on the water. And that was the way that they could describe it. So even language kind of gets into a cultural sort of a thing. So these are techniques that you can put into your toolkit. Start shifting the language to start shifting the culture, which can kind of help with the mental models. When you got the mental models, that's where the language starts to come from. If you don't have the mental models, you're probably not going to have the language. And I encourage all the folks I work with, start shifting from the whole idea of mechanism to organism. Okay, Brian, was that 15 minutes? Did I go on for as long as I predicted I would? Brian (18:27) About 15 minutes. Yeah. No, but I think that's a good point. There's a thing that I'll talk about a lot of times in my classes where I would all say, you know, the waterfall paradigm is one that's based on manufacturing. And there's a false understanding of what we're doing as manufacturing and it's not. It's more research and development. So you have to kind of shift the process to be one that's more conducive. to research and development. So that's very much in line with what you're talking about here. I love that. Bernie Maloney (19:01) Yeah. Do you think people would appreciate some book references that can kind of like help you? Okay. So specifically on that whole ethos of experimentalism that you just touched on, Brian, I'm currently going through Amy Edmondson's The Right Kind of Wrong. Really good book. Now, Amy is well known because she helped establish psychological safety as a super important topic in organizations. Brian (19:07) absolutely. Absolutely. Bernie Maloney (19:30) So she was coupled, I think, with Project Aristotle at Google. And in this book, she unpacked some really interesting stuff. She talks about failure, and there's types of failures. There's basic, there's complex, and there's intelligent failures. OK, intelligent failures, they're just native to science. You know things are going to go wrong. You're going to have Thomas Edison, the I Found 1 ,000 Ways. to do a light bulb wrong, sort of. That's like intelligent failure. Basic failure, she breaks down into, let's see, neglect and inattention. And those are the things that you really want to start to squeeze out of a system. With that mental model of a mechanism, I would say a lot of, call it management, tends to think of a lot of failures as basic failures. And that's where blame starts to come into a system. Okay, so now we're back into psychological safety. Okay, where you want to establish, you know, that was an honest mistake. Hence the talk title of make new mistakes. Okay, so you can have processes and procedures that can kind of squeeze out some of those basic failures. Complex in the middle is really interesting to talk about. As I'm getting into the material, she unpacks... Now, complex failures are those chain of events, you know, Brian (20:30) Yeah. Yeah. Bernie Maloney (20:54) This thing and this thing and this thing all had to line up and go wrong at the same time for this catastrophic failure to go on. And in medicine, which is where her original research was, they talk about it as Swiss cheese. And she says, if you go into a lot of medical administrators' offices, you're going to find some model of Swiss cheese there. Because they talk about it's like all the holes have to line up for something to go sideways on you. So complex failures. It's a chain of events, a bunch of little things. And she points out that in the research, these often happen when you have an over -constrained system where there's no slack, where you're trying to operate with, get this, Brian, 100 % efficiency. You're trying to load everybody up. So that is just like, it's not just juice on psychological safety, but like, looking at the whole idea of intelligent failures that we want to encourage versus constraining out basic failures versus working to reduce those complex failures and not just thinking complex failures are basic failures, but they're systemic failures that then might be part of the system, might be part of the mental model that's going on that's there. So super juicy stuff. Brian (22:11) Yeah, yeah, that's really good stuff. I've always loved Amy's work and I feel, you know, silly calling her Amy. But Amy Edmondson's work has always been great. Yeah, Professor Edmondson. She, the work on psychological safety, I think was just amazing. And the examples she used in her research are amazing. And, you know, all the stuff with Project Aristotle. Bernie Maloney (22:20) Okay, Professor Edmondson, yeah. Brian (22:36) I love the concept of psychological. I mean, again, not to make this the topic of our podcast, but, you know, I love the idea that they, they, they found that psychological safety was, so foundational that nothing else mattered. That if you didn't have that, that not no matter what else you layered on top of it, it would not fix the problem that you didn't have psychological safety. Bernie Maloney (22:58) Yep. And that's one of the reasons why I say Agile is actually a social technology more than anything else. I mean, that's why it's people and people over processes and tools. This is really a social technology that we deal in. Brian (23:10) That's a great way to put it. I love that social technology. Awesome. I love that. Bernie Maloney (23:14) So kind of talking about Amy and psychological safety and kind of all these systems that we're talking about, another mental model that I like to give particularly my product owners, going back to that Mobius loop. and like on the right hand side is all about delivery, okay, that's where you give team solutions to build. That's what a lot of organizations do. Versus on the left hand side with discovery, it's all about problems to solve. So I like to encourage my clients to instead of just giving people solutions to build, give them problems to solve. Now, for product owners, if you imagine like an onion that's kind of stretched out left to right, so kind of an odd long little onion. Brian (23:41) Yeah. Bernie Maloney (23:58) and on the far right is your sprint. And then as you go to the left, you're at a release, and further out to the left, you're in roadmap, and way further out into the left, you're into these vague things like vision. So product owners kind of deal with this whole span of things. And in between, product and sprint goals start to make things a little bit more concrete. Okay, and... One of the things I'll do for my product owners is I'll take that Mobius loop and I'll overlay it on a planning onion like that and go, do you get to see how, like what we're talking about here, you're starting out way vague in discovery and you're getting way more concrete as you get into delivery and into the sprint. And really the job of Agile and Scrum is both. It's not just about turn the crank on the machine. In fact, I think it's unfortunate that there's a book title out there of twice. the work in half the time. I actually like to pitch this as more it's about twice the value with half the stress. Okay, now as you imagine that Mobius loop kind of overlaid, one of the things I'll unpack for folks is when you're way out in that vision area, there's a lot of uncertainty that's there, okay? And you're actually going to have to do discovery. You may have to run some experiments. Brian (24:58) Yeah. Bernie Maloney (25:24) Okay, and it's only as you get closer into delivery that you want to get closer to certainty. And really, that's kind of the job of a product owner is squeezing uncertainty out of the system. Initially through discovery of the problem to solve, who to solve it for, what the market is, but it's the job of the whole team in Agile to squeeze that uncertainty out of the system. Brian, I'm sure you've had folks like talk about spikes. You ever have people get wrapped around the axle about like including spikes in their product backlog? Brian (25:48) Yeah, for sure. yeah, for sure. Bernie Maloney (25:54) Cool, the way that I frame that up, okay, so here's a mental model. That's just technical uncertainty that you've uncovered. Great, okay, so now we've got to go squeeze that uncertainty out of the system. So stop getting wrapped around the axle on stuff like this. Just like stop trying to plan and predict things. Instead, kind of get into sense and respond on all of them. And there, I've kind of brought it around full circle for you, Brian, for where we started. Brian (26:09) Yeah, no. No, that's great. That's great stuff. And I love the fact that we can bring it back full circle. Well, this is fascinating. And like you said, we could press play and go on this for another half hour very easily. But we'll be respectful of people's time here and keep it to our normal time length. Bernie, I can't thank you enough for coming on. I really appreciate you sharing your experience with us. And... what you've learned over your years of working in this profession. Bernie Maloney (26:50) Thank you so much for asking me, Brian

Do humans need touch to survive? Do any of us get enough touch throughout our lives? And why doesn't Angela want to hug anyone for eight seconds? SOURCES:Ophelia Deroy, chair of the department of philosophy of mind and cognitive neuroscience at Ludwig Maximilian University of Munich.Kory Floyd, professor of communications at the University of Arizona.Harry Harlow, 20th-century American psychologist.Sirin Kale, associate editor at Vice.Christy Kane, clinical mental health counselor.Carmen Rasmusen Herbert, country music artist and columnist.Virginia Satir, 20th-century clinical social worker and family therapist. RESOURCES:"A Systematic Review and Multivariate Meta-Analysis of the Physical and Mental Health Benefits of Touch Interventions," by Julian Packheiser, Helena Hartmann, Kelly Fredriksen, Valeria Gazzola, Christian Keysers, and Frédéric Michon (Nature Human Behaviour, 2024)."WHO Advises Immediate Skin to Skin Care for Survival of Small and Preterm Babies," by the World Health Organization (2022)."Affective Interpersonal Touch in Close Relationships: A Cross-Cultural Perspective," by Agnieszka Sorokowska, Supreet Saluja, Ilona Croy, et al. (Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin, 2021)."Results Revealed for The Touch Test: The World's Largest Study of Touch," (BBC Media Centre, 2020)."How 8-Second Hugs Can Counteract the Negative Side Effects From Electronics," by Carmen Rasmusen Herbert (Deseret News, 2018)."Confidence is Higher in Touch Than in Vision in Cases of Perceptual Ambiguity," by Merle T. Fairhurst, Eoin Travers, Vincent Hayward, and Ophelia Deroy (Nature: Scientific Reports, 2018)."The Life of the Skin-Hungry: Can You Go Crazy from a Lack Of Touch?" by Sirin Kale (Vice, 2016)."Warm Partner Contact Is Related to Lower Cardiovascular Reactivity," by Karen M. Grewen, Bobbi J. Anderson, Susan S. Girdler, and Kathleen C. Light (Behavioral Medicine, 2010)."The Nature of Love," by Harry Harlow (American Psychologist, 1958). EXTRAS:"Did Covid-19 Kill the Handshake?" by No Stupid Questions (2020).

Hello there! We're Dr. Jane Hession and Ronan Healy. We're a husband and wife team and co-founders of the service design studio How Might We - www.howmightwe.design We're passionate about Play and provide online and in-house training in the LEGO Serious Play method to: 1) Third-level Educators - https://bit.ly/LSP_Ed_Innovators 2) Organisational Innovators - https://bit.ly/LSP_Org_Innovators Episode 11 Many of us experience Tsundoku, the phenomenon of eagerly buying books but letting them pile up around our homes without reading them. But have you heard of Tsunbacku?  No? Well, that's not surprising, as we just made it up! Tsunbacku is the opposite of Tsundoku. It's the phenomenon of returning ‘back' to those pile of books that continue to inspire you.  One such book is Serious Play, so we were delighted to chat with Michael Schrage.  Michael Who? Michael Schrage is a research fellow with the MIT Sloan School of Management's Initiative on the Digital Economy. His research, writing, and advisory work focuses on the behavioural economics of models, prototypes, and metrics as strategic resources for managing innovation risk and opportunity.  Michael is the author of multiple books, including The Innovator's Hypothesis, Who Do You Want Your Customers to Become?, Serious Play, and Recommendation Engines. Michael has run design workshops and executive education programs on innovation, experimentation, and strategic measurement for organisations worldwide and is currently pioneering work in silverware technologies designed to augment productive individuals' aspects, attributes, and talents. He is particularly interested in the co-evolution of expertise, advice, and human agency as technologies become smarter than those using them. Since 2017, Michael has been a guest editor for MIT SMR's Big Ideas initiatives, including Future of Leadership, Future of the Workforce (2019-2020), Performance Management (2018-2019), and Strategic Measurement (2017-2018).  Contact Details LinkedIn https://www.linkedin.com/in/mschrage/  Email schrage@mit.edu  Research Papers  https://www.researchgate.net/profile/Michael-Schrage  Big Think https://bigthink.com/people/michaelschrage/  Michael's Books  Serious Play: How the World's Best Companies Simulate to Innovate  https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/0875848141/ref=dbs_a_def_rwt_bibl_vppi_i3  Recommendations Engines  https://www.amazon.com/Recommendation-Engines-Press-Essential-Knowledge/dp/0262539071  The Innovators Hypothesis How Cheap Experiments Are Worth More Than Good Ideas  https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B08BSZC81Q/ref=dbs_a_def_rwt_bibl_vppi_i2  Who Do You Want Your Customers to Become?  https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B008HRM9X4/ref=dbs_a_def_rwt_bibl_vppi_i1  No More Teams! Mastering the Dynamics of Creative Collaboration https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/0385476035/ref=dbs_a_def_rwt_bibl_vppi_i5 Shared Minds: The New Technologies of Collaboration https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/0394565878/ref=dbs_a_def_rwt_bibl_vppi_i4  Additional Topics  Robert K Greenleaf - Servant Leadership  https://www.greenleaf.org/what-is-servant-leadership/  Roger Martin  https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Roger_Martin_(professor)  Herbert A Simon  https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Herbert_A._Simon  Edward de Bono  https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Edward_de_Bono  Erving Goffman  https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Erving_Goffman  Kenneth E Boulding  https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kenneth_E._Boulding  Virginia Satir  https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Virginia_Satir  Peoplemaking by Virginia Satir https://www.amazon.com/Peoplemaking-Condor-Books-Virginia-Satir/dp/0285648721 

Psychotherapist Virginia Satir (1916 - 1988) remains one of the most influential family therapists there have ever been but she is virtually unknown now outside of psychology. She taught the importance of feelings over thoughts and blew the current understanding and practice out the water with her emphasis on safe emotional connection and the reasons people repeated certain scripted behaviors. Her work was the basis for Richard Bandler's development of NLP but she is seldom acknowledged or celebrated.When I was a fledgling therapist I was asked to model myself on someone who worked the way I wanted to and I found her by accident and noticed something very important. She touched people! Both figuratively and physically she stressed the importance of safe emotional connection through touch, sight and sound. She believed everything was vibration and that to be human was a magical thing of divine expression.Find out how her work has influenced mine and what I wished I'd known about self-esteem and becoming fully human.Her expressed wish was that everyone could look the mirror and say "the world is a better place because I'm in it".Find your work here https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3ITT44xDLXI00:00 Intro to Virginia Satir as a model for the work I now do03:00 The importance of emotions in working with people in therapy - sight, sound and touch (sensory inputs through the body) enables people to feel safe and is the basis of behaviour06:11 A faulty model of the world that we learned as children becomes the basis for how we related now - a faulty projection of reality. Power vs. intimacy.10:05 The body expresses the dysfunction because the mind cannot (it's repressed). Rage then ensues which is driven into symptoms.11:48 Power dynamics between people. Being present vs. being defended. Freedom to disagree via safe connection vs. reactivity.13:07 The need to be right will be defended even if it is dysfunctional (Peter Crone) to avoid feeling uncertainty.To be truly intimate have to be willing to acknowledge difference.15:53 Each human being is the unique manifestation of a divine force. We need time to explore ourselves to be in true relationship with others. We ask to be heard by someone.17:30 We are vibration - so how we use our bodies matters. Being in true connection whilst disagreeing gives us energy. In battle with our experience.19:34 The importance of meaning and interpretation in communication. Having an accurate picture in order to respond appropriately21:56 How the vulnerability of not knowing is part of the solution not the problem. Our difference needs acknowledging and a willingness to not know.23:32 Every situation in our life in which we struggle shows us where are not free or out of alignment with our true selves.24: 30 How I work with the body to build self-esteemFind Peter Crone's conversation with Rangan Chatterjee here. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QnsUif-CzOg *If you're suffering from Chronic pain, fatigue or anxiety, I CAN HELP*CONTACT ME: https://www.alchemytherapies.co.uk/Alchemy Therapies & Emotional MasterclassOTHER USEFUL RESOURCESGroup Healing Program: http://myemotionalaudit.comAuthor/Book site: https//patriciaworby.comPodcast: https://www.alchemytherapies.co.uk/po...121 and group therapy and training for stress related conditions like anxiety, fatigue and pain: https://alchemytherapies.co.ukSee in particular: Thrive! - an introductory mindbody connection program and The Emotional Audit for more intensive training.COMING SOON:Intensive Training Program: https://emotionalmasterclass.com

Denkimpuls der Woche: Eine sichere Bindung als Grundlage von Exploration – bereits seit John Bowlby und Mary Ainsworth – in wissenschaftliche Theorie gegossen. Das Gefühl der Sicherheit als Grundlage von Potenzialentfaltung - Carl Rogers, Virginia Satir ... klopfen an unserer Erinnerungspforte an. Aber - wie schaut es denn eigentlich in der Praxis aus? Wir freuen uns über Rückmeldungen, Anregungen, Themenwünsche, sternenreiche Bewertungen und/oder wertschätzende Rezensionen. . Iris van den Hoeven ist Gründerin von Blickpunkt Erziehung, seit vielen Jahren im Kinderschutz und in der Elternbildung tätig. Sie ist Erziehungs- und Bildungswissenschafterin, bietet psychosoziale Beratung an, ist im Expert:innenpool der WKO gelistete systemische Supervisorin und arbeitet im Bereich elementarpädagogischer Fortbildungen als Lehrbeauftragte an verschiedenen Pädagogischen Hochschulen. Zudem bietet sie in Verbindung mit zahlreichen Kooperationen Vorträge, Keynotes, Fortbildungen, Webinare, Inhouse-Seminare zum Thema der gewaltfreien Begleitung kindlicher Entwicklung an, sowie Beratung für Eltern und Elementarpädagog:innen, Supervisionen für Teams in Kinderkrippen, Kindergärten, Schülerhorte, Lehrsupervisionen nach LSB-Gewerbeordnung 2006, §4 Abs.(4) 1a und 1b und den Podcast „Kindheit liebevoll begleiten“. Auf Social Media steht sie im täglichen Austausch mit knapp 53.000 Abonnent:innen. ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠Kontakt / Anfragen⁠⁠ ⁠⁠www.blickpunkt-erziehung.at⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠Podcast „Kindheit liebevoll begleiten“⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠Frage zur Rubrik „Hingehört & Nachgefragt“ einreichen⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠Beratung & Supervision⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠Veranstaltungen⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠BPE Facebook⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠BPE Instagram⁠⁠⁠ BPE Threads ⁠⁠BPE LinkedIn⁠  

Eine Einteilung in Typen ist nicht immer hilfreich. Aber es kann ein gutes Instrument sein, um Defizite in der eigenen Kommunikation leichter zu bemerken und einzuordnen. Dafür eignen sich die Kategorien der Familientherapeutin Viriginia Satir, die ich Dir in dieser Podcastfolge vorstelle.

(Rerun) Dr. Kirk Honda does a deep dive on Virginia Satir and her therapy model.Become a member: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCOUZWV1DRtHtpP2H48S7iiw/joinBecome a patron: https://www.patreon.com/PsychologyInSeattleEmail: https://www.psychologyinseattle.com/contactWebsite: https://www.psychologyinseattle.comMerch: https://teespring.com/stores/psychology-in-seattleCameo: https://www.cameo.com/kirkhondaInstagram: https://www.instagram.com/psychologyinseattle/Facebook Official Page: https://www.facebook.com/PsychologyInSeattle/TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@kirk.hondaMarch 14, 2018The Psychology In Seattle Podcast ®Trigger Warning: This episode may include topics such as assault, trauma, and discrimination. If necessary, listeners are encouraged to refrain from listening and care for their safety and well-being.Disclaimer: The content provided is for educational, informational, and entertainment purposes only. Nothing here constitutes personal or professional consultation, therapy, diagnosis, or creates a counselor-client relationship. Topics discussed may generate differing points of view. If you participate (by being a guest, submitting a question, or commenting) you must do so with the knowledge that we cannot control reactions or responses from others, which may not agree with you or feel unfair. Your participation on this site is at your own risk, accepting full responsibility for any liability or harm that may result. Anything you write here may be used for discussion or endorsement of the podcast. Opinions and views expressed by the host and guest hosts are personal views. Although, we take precautions and fact check, they should not be considered facts and the opinions may change. Opinions posted by participants (such as comments) are not those of the hosts. Readers should not rely on any information found here and should perform due diligence before taking any action. For a more extensive description of factors for you to consider, please see www.psychologyinseattle.comThis show is part of the Spreaker Prime Network, if you are interested in advertising on this podcast, contact us at https://www.spreaker.com/show/3269717/advertisement

Wir können es selbst kaum fassen, aber heute ist schon das 12. Türchen an der Reihe – wir feiern also eine Art Adventskalender-Richtfest. Und dafür haben wir uns etwas ganz Besonderes einfallen lassen: Wir feiern heute eine Party! Und was für eine!!! Wir feiern  eine Parts-Party!

Was hat mich so bereichert, dass ich es gerne als Geschenk weitergeben möchte? Für mich ganz klar, die 5 Freiheiten von Satir. Vielleicht ja auch dein Weckruf zu einem authentischeren Leben?

One of the core models shared with participants of the Vision 20/20 programme is the Story of Change. Based on the Satir Change Model developed by Virginia Satir (family therapist and author), the Happy Startup School uses it to describe the transformation they wish for others.Rather than build products and services that they hope people will buy, members advocate a more design thinking approach that's based on understanding the change that people want to see in their lives. This helps them focus on making things that matter and creating actual value in people's lives.On this episode, Carlos and Laurence are joined by Serena Savini, HR expert and founder and host of the I'm Back! podcast. She was a member of Vision 20/20 Tribe 4, and she shares her mission to help people come back to work from life changing injuries and experiences. And how this story is helping others.If you're navigating a pivotal moment in you professional life or embarking on a project that is totally out of your comfort zone, then this is for you.LinksJoin the conversation liveBecome a member of the Happy Startup SchoolJoin the next Vision 20/20 cohortThe I'm Back! podcast

Kod często można zmienić relatywnie łatwo. Jednak zupełnie inaczej jest z własnymi nawykami czy podejściem. Dziś na czynniki pierwsze rozkładamy kilka typowych "dev-grzeszków", które z perspektywy osób odpowiedzialnych za całe piony IT mogą przeszkadzać w karierze. Ponieważ technologia to niestety nie wszystko...Moim gościem jest dziś ponownie Wojtek Ptak, Executive Engineering Director oraz Head of Development w Revolut Business. A jakich tematów dotkniemy podczas rozmowy? Choćby tego, że błędem jest nieposiadanie planu. Nasza kariera nie musi się "wydarzać" i podążać od przypadku do przypadku. Ten proces może być znacznie bardziej świadomy, wsparty różnymi ćwiczeniami i działaniami. Jakimi dokładnie? Polecam posłuchać mojego gościa.Materiały dodatkowe:Developer Community Keynote: The thing about burnout,Principles, Ray Dalio, 2017To Sell is Human: The Surprising Truth About Moving Others, Daniel H. Pink, 2012The Secrets of Consulting: A Guide to Giving and Getting Advice Successfully, Gerald M. Weinberg, Virginia Satir, 1985 - klasyka gatunku, wielokrotnie wspominana w poprzednich odcinkachOdcinek ukazuje się przy okazji 3 edycji szkolenia Legacy Fighter. Jeśli chcesz nauczyć się tworzyć nowy kod ściśle dopasowany do wymagań biznesowych, odporny na erozję, a także skutecznie naprawiać już istniejące legacy tymi samymi technikami, zapraszam!Cały kod jest dostępny w kilku technologiach jest dostępny na GitHubie.

Welcome to The Truthsayer Report: The global mission of the podcast is to explore and examine historical events and how they shape current events; and most importantly, Our Lives!Episode 15: 1971:The Year the Black Athlete Stayed Home - The Truth is back with a new episode! Listen in as the Truth chronicles the incorporation of Black athletes into popular sports like football and basketball.  In recent history, 3 Black quarterbacks were drafted in the first round of the NFL Draft, but what did it take for us to get to this place in history? Tune in and find out! Share your thoughts with us!“We must not allow other people's limited perceptions to define us." - Virginia Satir

李崇義曾在美國矽谷的科技業公司任職高階主管多年，回台灣後，致力於推廣薩提爾溝通法。將心理學家維琴尼亞．薩提爾（Virginia Satir）提出的「冰山理論」，運用到職場之上。 「冰山理論」提到每個人都是一座冰山，外在行為只是冰山一角，藏在水平面下的一大部分，才是真正的感受。然而，多數人只看見水面上的冰塊，難以覺察自己和他人的溝通盲點，導致衝突頻頻，無法好好對話。 李崇義分享過去他曾和老闆因為升職發生爭執，當時他認為自己的能力足夠升任經理，老闆卻選擇了另一位資深主管空降當他的頂頭上司，當時老闆一味地和他講大道理，例如，在公司待久了遲早這個位子會是你的等等，他還是不能接受這樣的指派。如果下屬向你表達相同的問題，你會怎麼處理？ 本集由《經理人月刊》採訪編輯吳美欣，專訪薩提爾溝通專家李崇義，一起聊聊《冰山對話：從開門到關門、從理解到支持的深度溝通​​》。

Have you ever wanted to make a change, but didn't know where to start?On this episode of The Faithful & True Podcast, Dr. Mark Laaser conclues his series on the Change Model. He shares how you can create meaningful, lasting change in your life.Listen as Mark integrates Virginia Satir's Change Model and the story of the Historical and Biblical people-group, the Israelites, to explain how change happens.Subscribe to our YouTube channel:   - https://bit.ly/FaithfulandTrueAttend a Workshop Experience   - For Men - https://bit.ly/MensJourneyWorkshop   - For Women - http://bit.ly/WomensJourneyWorkshop   - For Couples - http://bit.ly/CouplesIntensiveWorkshopContact us:   - https://faithfulandtrue.com/   - info@faithfulandtrue.com   - 952-746-3880Dr. Mark Laaser, M.Div., Ph.D., was considered one of the Christian leaders in the field of sex addiction before his death in September 2019. Mark, together with his wife, Debbie Laaser, MA, LMFT, have shared their 32 years of personal experience in sexual addiction recovery with thousands of individuals and couples through their work and resources at Faithful & True.The Faithful & True 3-Day Intensive Workshops continue to transform lives, rebuild trust, and help heal marriages.

Have you ever wanted to make a change, but didn't know where to start?On this episode of The Faithful & True Podcast, Dr. Mark Laaser shares how you can create meaningful, lasting change in your life. Listen as Mark integrates Virginia Satir's Change Model and the story of the Historical and Biblical people-group, the Israelites, to explain how change happens.Subscribe to our YouTube channel:   - https://bit.ly/FaithfulandTrueAttend a Workshop Experience   - For Men - https://bit.ly/MensJourneyWorkshop   - For Women - http://bit.ly/WomensJourneyWorkshop   - For Couples - http://bit.ly/CouplesIntensiveWorkshopContact us:   - https://faithfulandtrue.com/   - info@faithfulandtrue.com   - 952-746-3880Dr. Mark Laaser, M.Div., Ph.D., was considered one of the Christian leaders in the field of sex addiction before his death in September 2019. Mark, together with his wife, Debbie Laaser, MA, LMFT, have shared their 32 years of personal experience in sexual addiction recovery with thousands of individuals and couples through their work and resources at Faithful & True.The Faithful & True 3-Day Intensive Workshops continue to transform lives, rebuild trust, and help heal marriages.

很多時候，當我們糾結於溝通問題上，其實是卡在自己的內在狀態上。這是一條由內向外的道路，先釐清了自己，才能在面對別人時，也能貼近他人的內在，給予支持的力量，優化對話的面貌。 ▬ ▬ ▬ ▬ ▬ ▬ 李崇義老師曾任美國NASDAQ上市公司的副總裁，矽谷資訊軟體公司總裁，在資訊業服務20多年，從基層職員到高階主管，工作地點從台北、北京、溫哥華到矽谷，回台後將自身擅長的團體管理與人際溝通技巧，融合薩提爾對話模式，帶領培訓課程、工作坊，現為「長耳兔心靈維度」的創辦人兼講師。 他推出了第一本著作《冰山對話：從開門到關門，從理解到支持的深度溝通》，將自身擅長的團隊管理與人際溝通技巧，融合家族治療大師薩提爾（Virginia Satir）提出的「冰山理論」，整合出一套可以依循的對話路徑，幫助讀者改變自身的溝通慣性，免除與人溝通時不必要的衝突與困難，讓對話成為獲取和諧關係、達成雙贏的有力工具。

This episode is a special treat as Happy speaks to Sheila Gillette as she channels the 12 archangels known as the collective, Theo! You can find Theo at https://www.asktheo.com https://www.facebook.com/asktheo/ A pioneer in channeling, Sheila Gillette, began direct voice mediumship with THEO before the term channeling was born. With raw courage and the assistance of THEO, she began channeling in the early 1970s. Having been tested by leading physicists early on, and witnessing the positive transformation THEO's guidance created in her life and the lives of her clients, she gained the confidence to remain steadfast in sharing THEO's wisdom, and they have been a beacon of light ever since. THEO's teachings and Sheila's experience and knowledge have assisted many people across the world, including Esther Hicks (channel of Abraham), open to their natural intuitive abilities, stand in the light of their soul's truth, and nurture their ability to connect with the guidance about them. Sheila is an author (books published by both Simon & Schuster and Tarcher/Penguin), leader, speaker, and teacher who has witnessed waves of people awaken to their multidimensionality and says the time we're currently living in enlivens her because this is the time of grand transformation we've all been waiting to experience, the 5th dimension. While comprised of twelve archangelic beings, THEO speaks through Sheila in a single voice. THEO has never been embodied, but rather speaks to us from higher dimensions. Paramount to THEO's teachings is Soul Integration™ which leads to a stronger sense of self-love, and what many conceive of as enlightenment. The individual and collective challenges people face, as well as the dreams and ambitions they aspire to, can be met through learning how to become integrated. In this way, the Law of Attraction takes on new meaning as desired vision becomes less cerebral and more fully integrated in mind, body, and spirit. The following is a detail of Sheila's timeline for anyone that is interested. 1969 - Sheila's near death experience after the birth of her 3rd child, pulmonary embolisms, experience with Jesus and miraculous healing. Medical professor used her x-rays in teaching and when students would review her case study, they would surmise she died and were always surprised she survived. This launched a variety of psychic experiences including automatic writing (some in Castilian Spanish and she doesn't know Spanish, info on Watergate 2 years before it happened, she was able to verify later) and a variety of other things that led to direct voice channeling. Sheila channeled Orlos first, they said they were preparing her body for the higher teachers of THEO, whose stronger energy came through later. Sheila was invited and attended the July 25th, 1976 psychic conference at the University of Miami where physicists, engineers, anthropologists, and parapsychologists met and determined psychics and psychic phenomena valid and promising subjects for serious scientific inquiry. One of the lead physicists that tested Sheila was Dr. Evan Harris Walker, originator of the observational theory in parapsychology and author of The Physics of Consciousness. In 1984 Sheila held her first Psychic Workshop in Glenwood Springs, Colorado and invited Dr. Walker, Russel Targ, Stephan Schwartz and other speakers. She spoke at the Aspen Institute Design Conference, and worked with John Denver and the Windstar Foundation Sheila hosted her own events and was a guest speaker at a variety of events over the years. THEO's wisdom draws people from around the world from all different occupations. Sheila and THEO supported Dr. Elisabeth Kübler-Ross, psychiatrist, pioneer in near-death studies, internationally best-selling author of 'On Death and Dying' where she first discussed her theory of the five stages of grief, also known as the "Kübler-Ross model". She was a central figure in the hospice care movement. Sheila and THEO supported Virginia Satir, psychotherapist known for her pioneering work in the field of family reconstruction therapy and was honored with the title "Mother of Family Therapy.” Sheila has done hospice support in hospitals and homes. She assisted many suffering from Aids in the 1980s in Dallas/Ft. Worth and Santa Fe, NM 1988 Simon & Schuster published The 5th Dimension: Channels to a New Reality 1989 She spoke at the Los Angeles Whole Life Expo 2000 Sheila and husband Marcus Gillette started a terrestrial radio show that later moved to VoiceAmerica internet radio and iTunes podcasts. 2007 launched new AskTHEO website which led to the creation of the THEO Group membership 2008 Tarcher/Penguin published The Soul Truth: A Guide to Inner Peace co-authored with husband Marcus Gillette. 2011 Launched THEO mentorship programs via teleseminar technology. 2012 moved mentorship programs to live video online interactive webinars. Dec 21, 2012 hosted online, live collaborative ‘2012' event with other new thought leaders. THEO began speaking about 2012 and the 5th Dimension before José Argüelles 2015 Launched THEO's Soul Integration™ Certified Facilitator program. 2016 Spoke at the United Nations 2016 Oct - transitioned AskTHEO Live Radio show to AskTHEO Live Interactive Internet TV to include live video. 2017 launched THEO spiritual travel events - have taken clients to Kauai, the south of France, the Riviera Maya – and going to Egypt fall 2022. Mentorship programs have grown into 9 different programs ranging from 2 ½ day live retreats to full year mastermind experiences. Later this year Sheila and her team are launching the new Art of Relationship book, video teaching and evergreen product.

Dr. Gerald Smith has led workshops at the storied Esalen Institute for over 50 years. He is friends with one of its originals co-founders, Michael Murphy, whom he interviewed on an earlier podcast. Jerry attended the University of Pennsylvania and Stanford University, earning an M.B.A and Doctoral degree in Educational Psychology. Jerry is still a practicing clinical psychologist at the age of 92. And he is as sharp and quick-witted as ever. He has written two books, hosted a T.V. show, and loves leading workshops for couples. Jerry participated in some of the pioneering psychedelic research experiments (in the 1950's) when it was legal and quite provocative. He reported positive results using psychedelics and discusses some of his own experiences, along with the tremendous benefits and pitfalls of plant and lab-based medicine. Jerry believes psychedelics can expand our perceptual field. He stresses that psychedelics can potentially benefit people suffering from depression, anxiety, and trauma, but that caution is warranted. Jerry was also trained by such luminaries as Virginia Satir and Fritz Pearls. He knows he was privileged to know each of them personally and professionally … and pulls back the curtains on what they were really like. In this podcast, Jerry discusses how Psychedelics, Virginia Satir, and Fritz Pearls impacted his perceptual field …. and what matters most at this stage in his life.WCMI networking group A networking group for mindfulness-focused clinicians dedicated to learning together & collaborating for more information click here

This is an interview between Tim Sitt and Linda Lucas, Program Director at the Satir Institute of the Pacific (SIP), about Tim's work and experience with Virginia Satir's work. We cover a variety of topics such as the impact of Virginia's work and impact, Congruence, Melting the iceberg, and the metaphor of the tree. This conversation highlights Tim Sitt's work and an upcoming workshop titled “Melting the Iceberg.” which you can learn more about through the link below: https://satirpacific.org/event/melting-the-iceberg-expanding-and-evolving-the-satir-model-through-self-connection/ Satir Institute of the Pacific Facebook https://www.facebook.com/satirinstituteofthepacific Instagram https://www.instagram.com/satirinstitute/ The Satir Institute also offers free monthly community support meetings: https://satirpacific.org/event/sip-free-community-of-support-meetings/ 0-10:00: Self-Connection Meditation 11:00 attempting to reconcile the level of hierarchy and seed. “Our differences are opportunities for growth.” Tim and Linda experienced disagreement and had the opportunity to practice what we had mutually learned about Virginia Satir's work to help us reconcile those differences. 17:07 How did Virginia Satir's work impact your life? 21:15 What does Virginia's work have to offer people today? 23:55 we need new concepts to point to phenomenon and updating language to better point to the aliveness of Virginia's work. 26:00 a discussion about congruence. Learning to value your nos. 28:25 The metaphor of the tree. 30:15 Virginia writings on Congruence. The universality of human beings which guarantee similarity and differences. 34:00 - 38:20 til What Tim means by ‘melting the iceberg?”43:00 a stronger theoretical frame will help people understand Virginia work and to take risks towards growth 45:23 Virginia's discussion of the pot highlights a time where she defines self-esteem as the content of our consciousness. It is important to remember that the Self is more the space of the container rather than any specific content held within which can change or transform. 46:47 What can communities to express congruence? 48:50 the importance of creating healthy organizations. Melting the Iceberg Workshop by Tim Sitt Hosted by the Satir Institute of the Pacfiic https://satirpacific.org/event/melting-the-iceberg-expanding-and-evolving-the-satir-model-through-self-connection/

Victor Yalom, PhD, is the Founder, Director of Content and Resident Cartoonist of Psychotherapy.net. He maintained a full-time practice psychology practice in San Francisco for over 25 years, and currently continues to see a small handful of clients, as well as leading psychotherapy and consultation groups. He has conducted workshops in existential-humanistic and group therapy in the US, Mexico, and China. He has produced over 100 training videos in the field of psychotherapy and continues to be inspired the many master therapists he has been privileged to work with, including existential-humanistic psychologist James Bugental, and his father Irvin Yalom. In his spare time he paints, creates metal sculptures, and tries to improve his table tennis game. More information on Victor and his artwork is at sfpsychologist.com.Please visit www.psychotherapy.net to view the wonderful resources they have there which include over 300 videos of the prominent psychotherapist of the past and present. Think Netflix but for psychotherapist. You can save $100 dollars off an annual memberships at psychotherapy.net with the discount code : connection100Rather than having a set agenda for the podcast, Victor offered to have an open ended conversation with me and to explore and learn together, which was very exciting for me. Since the podcast is about connection it was fitting for us to explore topics related to psychotherapy as the content that served as the context for learning about and with each other. We start the discussion with me sharing my here and now experience of feeling nervous to speak with him, which is very unusual. I decide to share this straight away and Victor compassionately invites me to explore my experience together. 2:00 Victor shares the common expectation that a therapist will take away or reduce the experience they are having. Instead he points out that we can be with our experience and learn from it. 3:00 Tim express gratitude for Victor's work in making Virginia Satir's work available on video and subsequent work with other master therapists. 8:10 Victor reflects that he notices so much in what he's hearing and noticing with what Tim's shared that in therapeutic context would be available. He feels that psychotherapy can be a creative artful process.10:30 Tim poses the question of what aspects of therapeutic skills are relevant for day to day intimate and connective conversations to Victor. 12:27 Victor reflects that he often asks clients to reflect on what's happening for them at the head level and heart level. He suggests slowing down and tuning into ourselves and the other person. Attending to the words , and facial expressions of the other person as well as one's own body and feelings. 18:40 We talk about what ‘here and now' means in context of group and individual therapy. Victor shares that he is feeling engaged, and in flow and aware of some vulnerability and a desire to share something of use to the audience. 21:45 Tim asks about Victor's connection to James Bugental who was a Humanistic existential psychologist. Victor shares about his meeting and experiences of training with James. . 27:30 Victor reflects on his learnings with James Bugental. He demonstrates and differentiates some of the ideas and techniques from James Bugental's work such as searching that make it different from normal day to day conversations.32:20 One of the most powerful words he would say was , “And...” rather than letting the conversation be a ping pong match. It reinforces and introduces the idea that there's always more. This is one of things James used to say, “There's always more.” Each person is an arena of endless exploration.34:00 Victor experiential explores his emotions that come up upon his reflects on his relationships with James Bugental. 37:50 Tim shares a quote from James Bugental “ But early on l wanted to change her implicit sense of her task from telling me about herself to expressing herself. That's such an important difference. Then she makes herself an object of description. We're not dealing with a living person. lnformation about her. .. l don't like to get a lot of information about a client in advance. l want to know are they're reasonably able to maintain, and reality testing is all right, that sort of thing. But too much information will just cloud the screen for me. l need to be as innocent, in a certain way, as l can be for each person. l need to be as innocent, in a certain way, as l can be for each person. To discover this unique person. And that sounds very nice and humanistic, and it is. But the real value is, that way l get to know the livingperson, not about a person who has that name.”39:00 Victor reflects on the therapist role in helping the client to not objectify themselves but to enter more deeply in their experience and to be present (“search process”) 42:00 James Bugental also talked about ‘resistance' which is resistance to life. These are coping patterns created for survival, defense mechanisms. They work for us but also limit us. Examples, intellectualizing, or mocking oneself, or hiding emotions. Helping clients become more flexible with their coping patterns.47:00 “inclusion not amputation” another James Bugental quote . He also talked about the co-occuring counter balancing energies of support and encouragement or the ‘backstop' that urges them forward. 50: 30 Tim reads a quote by Rollo May and asks for Victors reflections. “....and the problem is that psychotherapy becomes more and more a system of gimmicks. People have special ways of doing their own therapy. They learn which particular buttons to push. They're taught various techniques by which they can, so that they can at least cure this isolated symptom or that. And that wasn't the purpose at all, of Freud and Jung and the rest of the really great men who began our field. Their purpose was to make the unconscious conscious. And that's a great--there's a great deal of difference between them.This was what Freud was setting out to do. It's what Jung is trying to do. It's what Adler and Rank did. These people never talked about these gimmicks. It just didn't interest them. What did interest them was making a new person. You see, the new possibilities come up. Then you have--then you change the person. Otherwise, you change only the way he behaves, only the way he approaches this or that incidental problem. The problem's going to change in six months when he'll be back again for some more so-called therapy.” -Rollo May52:00 Victor reflects on some of the context surrounding more technique based therapies and the importance of therapist reflecting on their use of self, to sit with difficult emotions, not necessarily always needing to ‘do' something to the client. The ability to sit with clients and to be with their emotions. 58:32 Victor shares about his orientation and perspective towards psychotherapy.1:03:30 We explore the words. “Self-Connection”

In this week's episode, Ricardo talks about Satir Change Model, created by family psychologist Virginia Satir, considered the mother of modern family psychology. The podcast has a business focus, even though it was created thinking in the family environment. The model became widely used in the business context change process. The model tells us that, despite the final result of the change being positive, in the improvement process, there is a phase where things become worse before they improve. Ricardo mentions the 5 phases of change: Late Current Status, Resistance, Chaos, Integration, and New Status Quo. He also considers that these five steps can represent all change processes. Listen to this week's #5minpodcast and understand better about this model, a good tool that Ricardo uses a lot in driving change.

No episódio desta semana, Ricardo fala sobre o Modelo de Mudança de Satir, criado pela psicóloga familiar Virginia Satir, considerada a mãe da psicologia moderna familiar. O podcast tem o foco dos negócios, pois mesmo sendo criado para o meio familiar, este modelo é muito usado para apoiar mudanças corporativas. O modelo nos afirma que, apesar do resultado final da mudança ser positivo, uma piora é percebida antes que a melhora aconteça. Ricardo cita as 5 fases da mudança: Status atual tardio, Resistência, Caos, Integração e Novo Status Quo, e ele pondera que qualquer que seja a mudança que modifique um status ela vai sempre passar por esses cinco pontos. Escute o #5minpodcast dessa semana e entenda melhor sobre este modelo, uma boa ferramenta que Ricardo usa muito na condução de mudanças.

In this podcast interview, I have the pleasure of speaking with both Sharon Loeschen and John Banmen. Two prominent leaders and teachers of the Satir Model. Today we explore the topic of context.Sharon has over 4 decades of experience as a psychotherapist, teacher, and trainer. She is past president of the Virgiania Satir global net work and uses the Satir Growth Model to facilitate learning and healing. She has developed the Satir Coaching and Mentoring Certification program which is being well received around the world. You can learn more about her by visiting Satirglobal.org She has authored several books: Enriching Your Relationship with Yourself and Others: https://satirglobal.org/product/enriching-your-relationship-with-yourself-and-others/Choosing Your Life Story: Inspirational Stories of Transformations from the Streets of South Central Los Angeles: https://satirglobal.org/product/choosing-your-life-storyJohn Banmen is one of the foremost experts and teachers of the Satir model. He co-authored the book The Satir Model: Family therapy and beyond and has written, edited many many other books related to Virginia Satir's work. He was an instructor, associate and Adjunct professor at the university of British Columbia for 21 years. As well as an honorary associate professor at the University of Hong Kong (2000-2004). He has created training programs in dozens of countries in Asia, Europe South and North America. He provides supervision for counselors, psychotherapist and family therapist. I have the honor and privilege of being able to call both of these wonderful people, friends and mentors.For background, Virginia Satir was one of the founding figures in family therapy. She was born in 1916 and died in 1988. Her model of therapy has had a major impact on the field of psychotherapy and other fields to this day. Her way of working emphasizes a conscious awareness of how we use ourselves in therapy, the incorporation of the body in the process of therapy, she would have people standing up sculpting their family dynamic with stances, she could emphasis the need for people to orient their bodies, eyes and even touch while communicating, she created dynamic and effective processes for transformational change such as parts party which is similar to internal family systems and family reconstruction which we will talk a bit about in the conversation. Virginia Satir is a giant int he field of therapy , family therapy, couples therapy. Learning about her work has formed the foundation of how I approach life as human being and in all my professional roles as a therapist, writer.If you are interested in learning more , I recommend visiting satirglobal.org and reading some other books like : the new peoplemaking, making contact, conjoint family therapy

Virginia Satir – một chuyên gia trị liệu nổi tiếng của Mỹ đã từng nói rằng: "Chúng ta cần 4 cái ôm mỗi ngày để tồn tại, 8 cái ôm mỗi ngày để nuôi dưỡng, 12 cái ôm mỗi ngày để phát triển". Tuy rằng ôm không phải là một việc làm bắt buộc phải có nhưng chắc chắn là một việc nên làm nếu có thể. Còn cậu thì sao? Hôm nay đã ôm ai chưa vậy? --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/visaothenhi/message

On today's episode, I will be continuing my discussion on Symbolic-Experiential Therapy.  This theory is actually a-theoretical and is focused on creating new in-session experiences that are often symbolic.  On this week's episode, I will continue describing Virginia Satir focusing on her communication styles as well as her style of experiential therapy.  ***Previous episode was reported as glitched.  This is a new upload with correction***Intro/Outro music & Transition Sounds, ambient-atmospheric-4947, found at https://cdn.pixabay.com/download/audio/2021/06/07/audio_cdfb955189.mp3?filename=ambient-atmospheric-4947.mp3National Suicide Prevention Hotline - 1 (800) 273-8255National Domestic Violence Hotline -1 (800) 799-7233National Sexual Assault Hotline - 1 (800) 656-4673Crisis Text Line - Text “MN” to 741741Call 911 for emergencyThis and other content produced by James Rains is not therapy, not intended to be therapy or be a replacement for therapy.  Nothing in this podcast creates or indicates a therapeutic relationship.  Please seek help from your therapist or seek help from one in your area if you are experiencing any mental health concerns.  Nothing should be construed to be specific advice.  It is for educational and entertainment purposes only.

On today's episode, I will be continuing my discussion on Symbolic-Experiential Therapy.  This theory is actually a-theoretical and is focused on creating new in-session experiences that are often symbolic.  On this week's episode, I will continue describing Carl Whitaker and Virginia Satir focusing on Carl Whitaker's battles for initiative and for structure as well as Virginia Satir's communication styles. Intro/Outro music & Transition Sounds, ambient-atmospheric-4947, found at https://cdn.pixabay.com/download/audio/2021/06/07/audio_cdfb955189.mp3?filename=ambient-atmospheric-4947.mp3National Suicide Prevention Hotline - 1 (800) 273-8255National Domestic Violence Hotline -1 (800) 799-7233National Sexual Assault Hotline - 1 (800) 656-4673Crisis Text Line - Text “MN” to 741741Call 911 for emergencyThis and other content produced by James Rains is not therapy, not intended to be therapy or be a replacement for therapy.  Nothing in this podcast creates or indicates a therapeutic relationship.  Please seek help from your therapist or seek help from one in your area if you are experiencing any mental health concerns.  Nothing should be construed to be specific advice.  It is for educational and entertainment purposes only.

In this episode, Beth chats with Sharon Loeschen, LCSW, about her decades of experience as a therapist and community activist. Her compassionate voice encourages us all to find our own healing path, and she gives specific advice about how parents can their kids survive and thrive through adolescence. ======================================= Sharon Loeschen's books: Enriching Your Relationship with Yourself and Others: https://satirglobal.org/product/enriching-your-relationship-with-yourself-and-others/ Choosing Your Life Story: Inspirational Stories of Transformations from the Streets of South Central Los Angeles: https://satirglobal.org/product/choosing-your-life-story/ Virginia Satir's book Sharon recommends in this episode: The New People-Making: https://www.amazon.com/New-Peoplemaking-Virginia-Satir/dp/0831400706 Lewis's South Central organization that Sharon talks about in this episode: Advocates for Peace and Urban Unity: https://www.facebook.com/apuunow/ ======================================= Safe Home is created by Joseph Nakao and his moms Beth Syverson and Jan Mabie Music written and performed by Joseph Nakao Cover art by Joseph Nakao, photo by Beth Syverson, with design help from Nina Smith Email questions or comments to Safe Home at SafeHomePodcast@gmail.com Find us on Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, and YouTube Support Safe Home on Patreon ======================================= RESOURCES: Heather Ross - Life Coaching for Parents of Addicted Teens: https://heatherrosscoaching.com/ Miguel Rosell - Guided Core Integration: https://miguelrosell.com/ Find a Tele-Therapist: https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/therapists/online-counseling ======================================= TIME STAMPS: 0:40 Sharon's bio 2:06 Sharon's relationship with our family 3:43 Virginia Satir's bio 5:28 Sharon's relationship with Virginia Satir 6:54 Virginia Satir's difficult childhood 8:50 Life Sentences 9:48 Why Sharon became a therapist 10:47 Sharon's early career 13:41 Richard Schwartz & a new look at being a compassionate witness for oneself 16:05 Ex-gang members, ex-prisoners, and their trauma 18:15 Sharon's first time at South Central meeting 20:00 Sharon mentors one of the ex-prisoners through college 21:19 How Sharon feels about her transformed clients 22:24 Self-esteem and significance 23:20 Racism and intolerance v understanding and compassion 24:24 Advice for parents of struggling teens 26:26 Practicing awareness to improve your parenting 31:25 Thinking in terms of triggered PARTS 32:00 Triangles in relationships 33:24 Resilience of your spirit 35:05 Can healing happen without extensive therapy and resources? 41:20 Sharon's advice for Joey, Beth, and Jan --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/safe-home-podcast/message

In this episode, Beth chats with Sharon Loeschen, LCSW, about her decades of experience as a therapist and community activist. Her compassionate voice encourages us all to find our own healing path, and she gives specific advice about how parents can their kids survive and thrive through adolescence. ======================================= Sharon Loeschen's books: Enriching Your Relationship with Yourself and Others: https://satirglobal.org/product/enriching-your-relationship-with-yourself-and-others/ Choosing Your Life Story: Inspirational Stories of Transformations from the Streets of South Central Los Angeles: https://satirglobal.org/product/choosing-your-life-story/ Virginia Satir's book Sharon recommends in this episode: The New People-Making: https://www.amazon.com/New-Peoplemaking-Virginia-Satir/dp/0831400706 Lewis's South Central organization that Sharon talks about in this episode: Advocates for Peace and Urban Unity: https://www.facebook.com/apuunow/ ======================================= Safe Home is created by Joseph Nakao and his moms Beth Syverson and Jan Mabie Music written and performed by Joseph Nakao Cover art by Joseph Nakao, photo by Beth Syverson, with design help from Nina Smith Email questions or comments to Safe Home at SafeHomePodcast@gmail.com Find us on Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, and YouTube Support Safe Home on Patreon ======================================= RESOURCES: Heather Ross - Life Coaching for Parents of Addicted Teens: https://heatherrosscoaching.com/ Miguel Rosell - Guided Core Integration: https://miguelrosell.com/ Find a Tele-Therapist: https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/therapists/online-counseling ======================================= TIME STAMPS: 0:40 Sharon's bio 2:06 Sharon's relationship with our family 3:43 Virginia Satir's bio 5:28 Sharon's relationship with Virginia Satir 6:54 Virginia Satir's difficult childhood 8:50 Life Sentences 9:48 Why Sharon became a therapist 10:47 Sharon's early career 13:41 Richard Schwartz & a new look at being a compassionate witness for oneself 16:05 Ex-gang members, ex-prisoners, and their trauma 18:15 Sharon's first time at South Central meeting 20:00 Sharon mentors one of the ex-prisoners through college 21:19 How Sharon feels about her transformed clients 22:24 Self-esteem and significance 23:20 Racism and intolerance v understanding and compassion 24:24 Advice for parents of struggling teens 26:26 Practicing awareness to improve your parenting 31:25 Thinking in terms of triggered PARTS 32:00 Triangles in relationships 33:24 Resilience of your spirit 35:05 Can healing happen without extensive therapy and resources? 41:20 Sharon's advice for Joey, Beth, and Jan --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/safe-home-podcast/message

In this episode, Dr. James Bramson talks with Gerald Smith, Ed.D., about burnout, working with Virginia Satir, managing a private practice, and more wisdom from his 50-year career. Dr. Gerald Smith began working with couples who were having difficulties in their relationship in 1962. For decades has specialized in meeting with individuals, families and has work with hundreds of couples who are faced with some difficult transitions. Usually this work has been short-term, as few as three or four meetings.  Dr. Smith is an author of 2 books and has  led 120 workshops at Esalen Institute in Big Sur, California.To contact Dr. Smith click hereTo purchase his book Couples Therapy: Me & Yo & Us  click hereTo purchase his book Hidden meanings: A psychological dictionary click here To learn more about Dr. Bramson click here

疫情下心情很煩悶嗎？生活中有很多壓力嗎？ 來聽聽看如何運用只有七個問題的self-care神奇表格， 每天只要十分鐘就能幫你排排毒、心情馬上up up up！ 各位朋友一起來試試看吧！

In this Episode: For many of us, helping is part of our nature. We want to help our children, our parents as they age. and our partners. Unfortunately, sometimes our desire to help leads to more harm than good. That helping becomes enabling. Do you know when enabling becomes abuse? If you think that your actions have transformed from help to harm, this episode is for you. We discuss what it means to enable, the different ways that we do it, and the harm it can cause.   Highlights in this Episode Include:Definition of enabling and how it harms.The five freedoms by Virginia Satir.The selfishness behind enabling.The signs of enabling behaviors and how they become harmful.How stopping enabling becomes difficult.Why we do it.Are you ready to accept the 8-Day Self-Care Challenge?Off the back of our episode on self-care, Jeanna is holding an 8-day self-care challenge. Learn how to provide yourself with the care that you deserve without the guilt of being selfish with 8 simple activities. Click here to learn more. Get More from Back Porch Chats: Visit the Back Porch Chats websitehttp://backporchchats.com/Contact Vince or Jeanna Vince@Backporchchats.comJeanna@nowsobercoach.comFollow us on Facebook https://www.facebook.com/BackporchchatsConnect with Jeanna Online: Follow the Now Sober Coach Facebook Page https://www.facebook.com/jeannafoxcoachJoin the FREE Now Sober Coach Facebook group for Community and Support https://www.facebook.com/groups/sobrietycoachfoxConnect on Instagramhttps://www.instagram.com/recoverywithjeanna/Check out the Now Sober websitewww.nowsobercoach.com Contact by Email Jeanna@nowsobercoach.com   How You Can HelpIf you enjoy this podcast and would like to offer your support, there are three things you can do. 1.    Head over to your favorite podcast app and leave a review.  2.    Share this episode on social media. 3.    Visit our store and wear your support. Now available: Back Porch Chats Merchandise in the Now Sober Lifestyle store. https://now-sober-life.creator-spring.com/Support the show (https://www.patreon.com/backporchchats)

3:00 John Banmen begins by reflecting on Virginia's use of the word ‘wholeness'. He describes feeling that there is more to what she meant with wholeness. David Bohm talks about a larger, universal wholeness; being a part of the universe.4:30 Wholeness what does it mean? On one level, wholeness is the appreciation of worth in each person. This may have been an initial first step of valuing all people regardless of age, sex or race as equal in human value.John proposes that we may be all connected to a universal energy.What does it mean to be whole? What does it mean to have space?Space is important to pay attention to not just the things that fill in the space.What is between ? In the silence? Between the notes?11:00 Physics is concerned with viewing the world either as particles or waves. Tim draws a comparison to forms of consciousness being particle-like such as thoughts, feelings, perceptions, expectations and the aspect of consciousness which is more fluid and formless.13:00 Virginia Satir emphasized “and...” not either ...or....John makes the point that we need to differentiate first before we can connect and integrate.John feels that we may fixate too much on individuality or individuation and need to keep moving towards a greater integration to a larger whole.17:00 Tim asks “Why is important to be in touch with wholeness that is universal?”John Banmen feels it is a natural process to discovery that we are more than what we think we are.Divisions lead to conflict. The reality of wholeness may help us reduce our conflicts and move towards peace.20:00 Tim asks John about his inside experience of wholeness. John describes there is a place beyond thinking where there is an experience of ‘oneness'. This is a connection to the universe.Oneness is wholeness. As you elevate about thought and experience oneness, John describes naturally letting go of divisions and experiencing oneness with other people.23:00 Distinction between thought and thinking... We discuss thoughts as formed thoughts that are dead conclusions as compared to thinking which is vital, exploratory and alive.26:30 John talks about being able to connect at different levels which could be physical, emotional, intellectual or spiritual. How can we connect at the total picture of life...love, acceptance compassionate...these have an emotional component but they are transcendent energies or consciousness...a person can intentional meditate on an energy like loving-kindness to change the quality of energy in their mind.31:30 An energy of conscious that is vital was what Virginia was in touch with and in touch with the life force in others.32:00 To be congruent is to be in tune with I AM: Self energy. John mentions that feeling great about Carl Rogers, but being with Virginia John felt in touch with his own ‘greatness'. He described feeling elevated , at a higher vibration, with Virginia simply through her raising one's congruence simply by being present.Virginia was in a different state of consciousness that helped elevate others.John describes Virginia as being very generous with sharing her energy and shining her light with others.37:00 Sharing a light. Virginia felt that we are each a light.40:00 John expresses the importance of realizing that we are spirit. John talks about acknowledging that we are already whole ; that we are it.42:30 Wholeness on different levels : within myself, with others, with the universe. According to John, Wholeness has to do with energy, spirit of a deeper level than merely the physical. John encourages depth of the energy. Tim introduces consciousness.45:00 Our consciousness can connect; John points to the possibility that as much as they can connect and that they might be the part of the same whole.When we have specific thoughts, specific forms of consciousness, we can begin to identify with that and begin to create separations in our mind that then takes away from the perception or the experience of wholeness.Is the energy of wholeness what allows us to transcend the limitations of our current forms?Is this what allows us to connect? Letting go of attachments allows for peace.47:00 Tim shares about the particles of emotions and how that can be held within a larger energy of peace , love and compassion and this is what helps contain and transform the forms.49:30 Can we experience our particularized thought and our universality at the same time?51:00 When we let go of our rigid attachment to time what becomes available to us? Is time managing us or are we managing time? We discuss how our expansion of time can help us transcend our rigid ways of using time dictated by expectations, rules, contexts.56:30 Cosmic wholeness. This is a term used to remind us that we are more than what we are at the level of perception, feelings, personal identity.58:10 What happens to consciousness when the body dies? Virginia talked about 4 levels of ‘birthing'.. Each representing a higher level of consciousness and this maybe a movement towards greater wholeness. The whole whole?1:03 John talks about Virginia's ability to talk to the masses by offering something at the concrete behavioral change level and all the way to cosmic level. John shares Virginia as a teacher teaching many different aged children in the class and that her work supports the development of consciousness at the level where people are. John experienced Virginia as expressing the many layers simultaneously in her teachings.1:08 Tim shares the connection the cosmic wholeness would inform all the various contexts and forms relevant to the audience. Perhaps being in touch with one's wholeness helps people be in touch with their wholeness because after all it is the same.The therapist can lead the process by being in touch with the deeper levels of wholeness, yearnings, that the client may or may not be aware of consciously but experiences. This is an important factors in creating a healing connection/relationship.1:14 John emphasizes the importance of attuning to the level of consciousness where the client is living and trying to help them elevate them towards a higher level.1:18 John reflects on the challenge and enjoyment of putting into words the experience and the energy of wholeness.1:22 What facilitates human growth and development? What are the conclusions that block the movement of life and energy within?

01:00 Laura describes the context of how Virginis'a family camps beganSeveral therapist were requesting that Virginia work with their families and the idea came to work in a camp setting with hiking.Family camps began in 1976.Laura started leading the camps in 1984 up until 3 years ago.5:30 Virginai called her camp an experiment. If a week a year, could create change that could last.6:00 Russell talked about meeting Virginia running a conference of 60 peopleRussell noticed that people were ‘hooking up' and having relationships although they were married and that he felt this was not promoting family. Virginia told him about family camp which was effort for the therapist to learn with their families.7:40 Laura describes the celebration of life transitions, births, marriages, the beginning of relationships. Camp was a place to practice open communication which nurtured and strengthened family life.9:00 Laura describes the use of talking circles between teens and parents. The outer ring were focused on holding a space and listening (e.g. the teens) and then to engage with each after hearing the inner circle conversation first.11:30 there was a camp committee that was formed which took the pressure of running the camp off the facilitators.12:30 Laura describes the committee meetings that occur 3 times a year which were also very supportive element of the camp as a whole.14:30 People would do a piece of work in front of the group as part of a demonstration. Thereafter people could help support that person regarding that piece of work during the daily interactions of the camp.16:15 Laura describes the ingredients that made the camp a nurturing community. People became attached and members would become part of the leadership. Russell talked about it's focus on congruence, growth , self-esteem, communication. The community would support people having difficulty (e.g., how to not use physical fights). Meditation and community meetings help them feel in touch with themselves and to feel seen.19:20 The work done in front of the group create a strong intimacy throughout the camp which is unusual for other camps. People would connect through the vulnerability that they witnessed and they would share their own vulnerability.People would request time to sort through some challenges they were having.21:00 the camp would start with a temperature reading. People could say what they felt and really wanted...e.g. Appreciations..hopes and wishes...complaints...22:00 There were teen groups, womens,/men's group, parents , young adults... These were various spaces for people to share and process their experiences.Evenings was a time for the whole group to gather and to have leisure time together.24:40 Tim asks what elements of Virginia's work were taught explicitly.The campers would learn about the five freedoms, the coping stances. They would make use of the tools : parts party and elements of family reconstruction.26:50 Congruent communication, family systems/maps, were some of the key teachings in the camp.28:30 Being in nature and away from technology is an important ingredient of camp for people to focus on themselves.30:00 There was a representative from each group: young adult, couples, elders, youth...they would report what the facilitators would need to know about the dynamic within these subgroups.31:10 In the beginning, Virginia did a lot of the leading of the camp herself. There was an important transition from her leadership to a committee.The values of the camp were congruence and communication. That each person had to earn their own power. To be in charge of your own growth.35:00 Mentorship. Russell describes how mentorship took place within the camp.38:20 “Becoming a peer with your parents” as a point of maturity for the teens and young adults in the camp. The children had to find a way to grow that was not dictated by the parents, that the children would own their own voice.39:00 Each person was encouraged to have their own voice especially with their parents.41:00 We discuss how people balanced role function with connection to Self. Everyone took on jobs to create a sense of connection and equality among all people. The focus was on making camp work and that all needed to contribute.44:00 Laura talked about how camp supported her family and the growth of their communication. Russell talked about his experience of having his family as part of the camp and the memories that were created.47:00 Russell feels that family camp is the best expression of Virginia work where people could practice what she taught.49:00 Tim asks about boundaries as fascilitators with their family among the larger group.Russell talked about how living together in camp took away from the role of therapist and being seen as a fellow camper.54:00 We talk about the missing element of community and the opportunity that the camp gives of feeling known and seen. Laura describes Virginia's vision that raising consciousness and the creation of community were related and parallel goals.57:00 Laura talks about facilitation meetings.59:20 The expansion of consciousness is related to the expansion and enriching of our communities.

Here's one quote from Laura Dodson:“Transformation is a change in the entire way of being; how your relate to life. The transformation relate to changes in attitudes that live deep inside of us like: compassion and connection to our common humanity.”2:30 Laura shares her experience of Virginia was that she was able to distill complex ideas with simple words and movements and sculpts that transcended specific cultures. Virginia's aim was to change the consciousness in the world. Her aim was to be understandable and useable.Carl Jung moved from Freudian model to a more growth model. He saw symptoms as a block in the flow of growth that we all encounter. Virginia saw things this way too.5:50 Carl Jung had a deep respect for each individual as did Virginia. They respected the unique individual and their ability to adapt, grow and change.6:40 Tim asks what is the difference between a family therapist and a Jungian analyst. Jung was interested in the unconscious of the individual. Jung was not looking at family systems the individual developed within. Virginia saw an individual embedded within multiple layers of systems: family, cultural, history of humanity.8:30 Tim asks what each thinker would have benefited from the other. Laura feels Jung would've benefited from systems's thinking and Satir would've come to the spiritual aspects of being which she got to eventually. She recognized the spiritual base in the 80s.9:30 the cycle of death and rebirth comes from Jung. Virginia didn't look at death as much as she looked at birt. The movement towards integration and wholeness come from Virginia's work. Laura didn't feel that Jung walked us through the steps of transformation. Virginia clarified those steps. Eg., we had to tell the truth without blaming., have courage, have humility, compassion for self and other. Jung talked about increased consciousness. Focusing on what one had learned and practicing, forgiving. Laura found that Virginia emphasized the importance of forgiveness for growth that was not in Jung's work.12:00 Jung took what came in dreams and followed that. He didn't clarify steps like Virginia didTo help us move from survival coping to growth. Laura said that she was much more connected to her unconscious and her dreams which helped direct her life. Laura describes there being riches in the unconscious.14:00 Change is an ongoing process that never ends throughout life. Our hope is that we can move through the circle more rapidly. Foreign elements are bound to happen leading to crisis.Dismembering is the feeling of being pulled apart, which comes Jung's thinking.15:50 We begin with a sense of equilibrium, calmness, centeredness. A foreign element comes and it separates us from ourselves. We feel abandoned, wounded, betrayed. It's inevitable. Disemembering occurs.Then liminality occurs. You can't go back but you don't know how to move forward. You feel confused and afraid.We fall into defensive mechanisms. For example denial as a coping is adaptive initially and unders certain conditions. Projection, denial, depression, suidcidal...it's the experience of deflation of energy. Deflation is a loss of sense of who you are. Loneliness and feeling lost. We are barely coping.We are in the dark night of the soul.What is required for change is the numinous experience, the experience of light. Something that would allow you to see things from another angle.21:32 “The wonderful thing about the unconscious is that it wants to break through; it wants to give you light. There's something inside you that wants to give birth to a new way of seeing.But it's frightening because it's giving up the old way. Letting go. Surrender to what might come next. “22:10 dreams and talking with a friend that can add light or shift your perspective and help you see light in the darkness and experience hope. Some of Virginia's processes helped give people insight that freed them from the inside. A new way of seeing.What Virginia created in sculptures and pictures on the outside; Carl Jung followed dreams.26:00 People come to therapy at the point when they have fallen into the unknown and are seeking an experience of the numinious, of light and a wish for hope.27:00 Becoming conscious of our defense mechanisms allows us to have more choice and toLet go of unhealthy coping.28:00 Laura talks about the importance of hope and how the therapist holds hope. Laura describes the therapist usinge x-ray vision that sees the higher Self and the young vulnerable part saying “all i want to be loved” Connecting to the essence, the deep spiritual essence of the other person.31:15 Laura is confident that the unconscious will show them a way. The therapist is listening with them for guidance of where to go. The therapist needs to be willing to be surprised.Laura provides an example of listening to a client who had a dream which pointed a direction to go.36:00 you need someone to hold a space and listen and believe in you as you find your way.37:30 Laura talks about step of courage, commitment, and truth telling, facing the reality of things. Allowing ourselves to mourn for ourselves and with compassion. Joining the human race with our frailties.We walk into what we were defending against and the resources of responsibility, mourning, commitment, truthtelling (without blame) , curiosity, humility, and courage all help us walk into what we were defending against.Facing what we fear...what we hate...Our trauma/hurt....Courage is the first step, then truthtelling,, humility to join the human race.Commitment and focused on the path..Mourn what wasn't and what isn't.Laura talks about Virginia's direction of being more curious than blaming and using our detective hat.41:15 Increasing consciousness and compassion as you move through transformation and rejoining the human race and forgive yourself. You increase your connection, congruence and compassion with Self and others.Your self and your higher Self42:40 Foundational attitudes as a way of being with our experience that allows us to move through experience. E.g., commitment to become more conscious.44:30 We begin to integrate what we were falling apart about in crisis and the energy transforms.Jung used the word energy for God. Virginia used the words “Life Force” The transformation comes upon you. You can't make it happen. This is the rebirth. It comes upon us as we do these things.46:30 Energy is in constant motion. Your attitude to change allow you to walk towards it. As you walk towards it, you become more conscious of the new learnings and that brings a transformation.You can move towards light, but you can't make the energy transform.“Transformation is a change in the entire way of being; how your relate to life. The transformation relate to changes in attitudes that live deep inside of us like: compassion and connection to our common humanity.”50:30 Laura shares her experience of her pain. “I am not that pin; i am having that experience. I am more than that” She is aware of her connection to life being bigger than the pain. My existence is more than to pain. Laura describes her pain as her ‘teacher'. “I have to learn to breathe and move with it. I will learn in relation to it.”55:00 Laura talks about cultural transformation. Our culture has been inflated and ‘superior'. She talks about corona virus and some of what is going on in the world.We talk about the resources in the transformational wheel as an anchor of how we can move through these difficult times.59:15 “There's a new energy that's alive in the world today and I am part of that energy.” Virginia Satir said in reference to the evolution of consciousness and her belief in a tipping point.“To the god in me and to the god within you” we can connect and transformation can occur.

Howard Kahn is an Assistant Clinical Professor in the Child Study Center at the Yale School of Medicine, where he teaches a yearly seminar in Family Therapy and supervises psychotherapy. He has also been a Visiting Lecturer in Law at Yale Law School (2012). Dr. Kahn has maintained a private practice of Clinical Psychology in New Haven since 1970. He is a graduate of City College of New York (1961) and of the University of Rochester (PhD,1970)Howard explains his journey into therapy and transition into an awareness of the humanistic psychologies.Lou Ferman had people who were teachers of humanistic psychology. Virginia Satir was one of these trainers. Howard shares about his first experience with Virginia Satir 1969 and described her as someone who cared about your experience and only that.5:00 Howard learned from Virginia that there was a way he could be that was consonant to his being. Virginia was novel in her approach with family and how engaging communicative therapy.7:10 Howard had an experience with Virginia during a demonstration where fell into a trance with her. She asked and cared about what she was feeling. This resonated with Howard as a way of doing therapy.10:22 Howard said his connection with Virginia helped him grow his energy for intimacy. He felt supported for who he is.12:00 Howard shares about how Virginia helped him overcome his fear of public speaking.14:00 Howard said Virginia paid attention to what was going on with people, taking responsibility for themselves, how to be in relationships, but she did it in an interactive way.15:33 Communicative intimacy...Helmith Kizer”? There's a universal symptom he called ‘duplicity' people were not congruent with thoughts and feelings. He promoted encounter. When my thoughts feels and actions are in line we are congruent. When we are paying attention to each other's experience. My awareness of me, my awareness of you; your awareness of you and you're awareness of me.We communicate and share these levels. It's the attitude of I'm fully aware and interested in you. It is a readiness and willingness to provide the full benefit of your being and to connect with someone.17:40 What empowers us to be more connected? Howard shares to be in the present and to be in a flow together. Howard reflects on his own awareness of the present experience, his feelings and also our conversation. He describes it as an immediacy of experience with Virginia.21:00 the freedom to be yourself and to emerge is a healing experience. The collection of healing moments is therapy. Therapy is a part of natural life.22:51 the way we are in therapy is our natural form. That's when we are at our best.Howard shares about seeing a kid, his neighbor, who got hurt and how he went over to him. He describes the moment of contact.25:00 Our ability to accept our feelings and the moments. Howard describes his experience of being present with the boy.28:00 Howard talks about embodying theory. He talks about having an inherent valuing system (that of acceptance and compassion). This leads you to be curious and to be engaged. He talks about focusing not on fixing anything but being present.33:00 Howard reflects on the experience of the interview so far as a demonstration of being present and engaging with communicative intimacy and how important this is for healing.34:00 Howard asks Tim about his experience. We have a moment of connection.36:20 Howard describes Virginia as awake and full of love.39:30 Virginia said “I'm everyone you admire” Useful and nourishing other.You're the agent of your own action and experience. You never felt like Virginia was going to fix you. She helped you come into your own power.42:00 We live our lives in fictional finalism. Quote by Alfred Adler.45:45.What's kept you connected? Howard shares that he feels energized by meeting people.47:00 “I think you can be judicious and not judgmental” Howard shares that he gives people feedback based on his own experience.“I want to love you without clutching, appreciate you without judging, join you without invading, invite you without demanding, leave you without guilt, criticize you without blaming, and help you without insulting. If I can have the same from you, then we can truly meet and enrich each other.”― Virginia Satir52:00 We talk about Self connection and self-esteem. There's a transcendent , a communion...that is something bigger than an individuals self-concept, or feelings and thoughts about themselves. Howard talks about how we deal with the spiritual all the time. He describes the connection he felt being in the delivery room, with his wife, his baby the doctors.58:00 Self-esteem is the outcome of Self-connection..Being in a dynamic living process with each other or with life in general.1:03:00 You are a manifestation of God's will. You're experiencing and expressing yourself is transcendent work, god's work...“I'm not here to meet your expectations and you're not here to meet mine.”Howard shares the last line “if we don't it can't be helped.”“If you embrace one life, you create a universe”1:09:09 Howard trusts that people will let go of their symptoms when we focus on connecting in the ways he is expressing (of being present, listening, being yourself) Something of what we want emerges in therapy.1:13:29 Howard sees himself as a teacher of humanism. The processes that Virginia highlighted are part of the natural world. They are not specific to people or ideology.

1:33 John begins a meditation Connect to your breathing.Can you experience your body? What is your body telling you right now?Can you be aware of your feelings?Can you watch your thoughts? Presently, past, future?Acceptance and awareness. How do you experience yourself at this moment?John invites us to bring in a change, a positive energy of gratitude.6:50 We begin our conversation. John meets Virginia In January 1970.John's training was Rogerian where he learned to not ask questions. John observed that Virginia asked many many questions.10:25 John talked about the first workshop. They were supposed to learn about family therapy but the emphasis was on learning about oneself , one's family of origin. “Getting your own act together.” as John put it. Virginia did a lot experiential activities such as sculpting of families. Participants experienced and learned about the difference between incongruent and congruent communication.13:04 What John learned and inspired him in the first meeting? John witnessed Virginia helping to make changes every minute. There was an immediate change that was positively directional in terms of their relationship to themselves and others. Virginia's work was very positive and humanistic.15:00 John appreciated how Virginia was able to go beyond intellectual learning and to help people experience what was going on. She helped people transcend their immediate experience by feeling fully what was there and going deeper to a core sense of Self. She helped people discover what was getting in the way of being in tune with themselves and these could be feelings, perceptions and expectations.16:40 How can I be congruent within myself and take responsibility for my life?17:10 How did Virginia use her Self to make contact? She was fully present with others. You would experience her. You could feel her energy. She truly believes that we are unique, precious and loveable. We can have better and happier life.Her belief in people helped people connect more deeply to themselves,and to life.18:26 “I'll help you light your candle” Virginia would bring her light candle and it inspired people to look for their own light inside of themselves.19:24 How did Virginia become so positive? John suspects that her experience as a teacher has a big influence, but really it's a mystery. But he describes that when he met her it felt good to be in her presence and that she was fully blossoming at that time.21”42 Virginia came to Manitoba for 3 months to work at various levels of governemnt.22:25 Vrigina did what could be called family reconstruction across 3 generations. How to deal with the person in the present based on impacts of the past. “Changing the environmental impact” of our existence so they could change it at an energetic level.24:00 John differentiates four levels of Virginia's work: information, process, meaning, energy level.25:30 What is energy? “all life is energy” What is human energy and how can we be in touch with it? It could start with awareness, attitude, feelings, but deeper there is a flow of positive life energy. Operating at this level we can get in harmony with ourselves, others and the universe.27:10 I ask John to reflect on Virginia's work and it's relevance to the current COVID pandemic.John emphasizes ‘going inside' and learning to become aware of one's own reactions to what is going on (their thoughts and feelings)29:00 Can we become aware of a deeper sense of life? Virginia has an idea that there was a greater energy than us as individuals. Some call it God, Being, Spirit, and we could connect to it. Viriginia believed in an inherent healing quality of people's mind that was analogous to people's ability to heal from physical injury.32:50 First, become aware of how we experience ourselves. Most of the time we could find that we live in a negative way either too much in the past or too much in the future.(How do I experience myself? How do I think? How do I feel? How do I move? What am I not thinking, feeling and doing? Where are my blind spots? What do I avoid? In terms of loving myself and others what do I do, what do I not know how to do, what am I afraid to do?How are we educated about how to experience ourselves more fully (others and life more fully)?33:30 John asks “How I help you to be in charge of how you experience yourself? How can you take charge of your unmet expectations, your feelings, attitudes and thoughts? In order to be in charge, we need to look at change.John describes the process of connecting to a more positive attitude or linking to higher or deeper energy and change attitude, expectations, feelings and behavior.We can change our feelings by elevating them to a higher level of vibration. For example, getting in touch with gratitude as in the meditation at the beginning.An example of expectations, something happened that should have happened or that should not have happened. If something was unmet, I would react. Virginia Satir taught, “Can you accept without liking?” This can be very difficult. We can choose to let go, accept or create a new expectation.Perceptions would go through a similar process. Creating new ideas for ourselves.37:00 Tim comments that attitudes or mindsets like acceptance and gratitude or higher-order perspectives or ways of thinking that transcend the individual's needs and considers others and the context.38:30 John describes the Self as a natural energy that have basic yearnings. Just as trees have basic needs, humans have them too.We get our yearnings met through our experience. Virginia hoped that we would be responsible for meeting our yearnings.What does it mean to meet your own yearnings?I take charge of my feeling of my needs, of my saying and asking. I take charge of how I manage myself, who I ask.I don't leave it up to others.Symptoms are a manifestation that we are not meeting our yearnings.- John Banmen40:30 Virginia would not say how did that person make you feel. She would ask “What did you see and hear from them that you took in and created the feeling of sadness?”Yearnings are foundational energy within people trying to manifest through people and in relationships.42:42 John shares his personal journey of moving from Manitoba to BC and then becoming a professor at the University of British Columbia and then reconnecting with Virginia Satir in 1980. Virginia started doing process communities in 1981 which were 30 day training programs.48:00 Virginia emphasized the development of congruence which would enable them to perform well across any role. John describes congruence: To be in harmony with your basic life energy, the universal Self, and your personal self and your experience (feeling, perceptions, and expectations) and then being in harmony with others. John makes the point that being in tune with your feelings would not be congruent because congruence incorporates a larger energy that transcends the individual.53:51 John asks the question, “As a human how can we be in touch with who we really are?” Virginia would use the phrase to be fully human.John continues to describe the experience of the process community. People could practice at being more congruent, in charge, positive, and have a different experience of themselves.There were three levels : Virginia working with the whole group, the 3 main trainers working with groups of 30, and then all the triads working together in the evening.56:00 They would look at how they were coping in a survival way and this would mark a state of being out of harmony with the Self (incongruent). From here, participants would work towards congruence and being in harmony with their Self.57:30 How can we create a context of safety so we can look at our coping patterns lovingly?Virginia modelled in her own way of being, loving, caring, curious, and accepting. Her energy helped open people up to do their work.59:20 Tim asks John how Virginia's energy impacted him personally and professionally. John reflects that he tried his best to be congruent, to look at what was going on in him and what was coming out of him. “How can I be?” and “how can I apply?” what I am learning were seemingly two questions that became one. There was a constant introspection, a process as Virginia called it, of taking a look and being in charge,We discuss how recipes don't work in working in this kind of way. That there was a kind of wisdom to Virginia that empowered her to work fluidly and unpredictably and yet very effective. Tim reads from the Tao Te Ching to paint a picture of this wisdom that transcends intellectual knowing.1:03:35 John feels that our emphasis on understanding the psychological component means we can overlook the spiritual nature of Virginia's work. This life energy is beyond thought, beyond the body, non-dualistic. Beyond our emotional and mental capacity, lies a layer of life experience that Virginia was accessing.1:05:50 John explains the various level by which you can analyze and understand the Satir model. John describes a spiritual transformation; to be one.We are more than our thoughts and feelings.Here are some affirmations or a short meditation that can help you reflect on the core energy within you:I am a positive expression of life.I am goodness manifested.I am alive. I am whole. I am one.1:08:20 John hopes that we can bring Virginia's work can be used therapeutically but he sees that her work transcends this application and is a deeply spiritual teaching.1:08:45 John's hope and wish for the Satir Model is beyond a family therapy but a life model; how to be alive. He feels that her work teaches us to be, not just how to think and to feel.1:11:00 We discuss the difference between using technique to simply shifts states of mind as opposed to Virginia's seed model which had as its aim the expression of each individuals unique life force.There is the energy, the yearnings that actuate potential(the yearning for love, the yearning to live, to contribute, for peace)There are guiding beliefs that help point us in the right direction that is wisdom(you can only connect with one person at a time. We are hallucinating our experience. Perception is reality. The way we cope is what is important not how can we not have problems.I can take responsibility for my experience and yearnings. I can comment on the form from you which I see and what that brings up in me)In life, I need to risk hurting and being hurt if I am honest with what I feel, need, yearn for; if I wish to risk loving and being loved.Then there are behavioral skills that act as guidelines for the concrete expression of that attempt to meet a yearning.1:13:00 John shares about his work after Virginia died. They started work in Hong Kong, then in Taiwan then later in Canton. Psychoanalysis was the main psychological practice in China. They were eager to learn other western psychotherapy models.1:16:00 John felt that sharing that each person has a Self was a major contribution that fueled the motivation of students in China towards Virginia's work. Their emphasis on personhood and of having value. “We helped them ground themselves in themselves” John explained.1:20:00 John felt that politically that the model fit within China's cultural values because it taught greater responsibility. Their emphasis was also on teaching competency and that would empower them to be more helpful to others.1:23:00 Tim asks what transformation occurred with the introduction of the idea of a Self. John begins in awareness, awareness of parents' learnings and coping patterns. They would look at family dynamics and dominance hierarchies. They would sculpt the survival defensive patterns. They would then look at congruence, experientially as a transformational state.It was very powerful for parents to see themselves with their parents in a survival state often placating to them. They would reflect on their feelings and experience in being in these patterns. How would they like to be? What relationship would you like to see happen?Virginia would often sculpt congruence as two people on their feet making eye contact at the same height (often using stools and chairs to help).1:29:00 How can I be on my own two feet? How can I be aware of my survival coping patterns? Tim makes the point that our survival coping patterns aren't necessarily learned. They are forms adapted from basic instinctual energies of fight, flight and freeze.1:30:25 Helping the Chinese to be happy, healthy and successful with a goal of 65 Million which is the tipping point to create a nation-wide transformation. The Chinese see happiness as a birthright which is alignment with the type of workshops and trainings which John is responsible for.1:33:00 John describes what he means by happiness as being congruent: peace within, peace between and peace among.1:35:00 The Chinese have a concept of Chi, energy, which is how John understands and teaches the Satir model. He has been given the feedback that Virginia's work helps people understand their culture and Chi even more.1:36:00 What has been most impactful is the creation of experiences (experiential), not just philosophical or intellectual understanding.Tao Te Ching by Lao Tzu (Translated by Jonathan Star)Verse 15The masters of this ancient pathAre mysterious and profoundTheir inner state baffles all inquiryTheir depths go beyond all-knowingThus, despite every effortWe can only tell of their outer signs--Deliberate, as if treading over the stones of a winter brook.Watchful, as if meeting dangers on all sidesReverent, as if receiving an honored guestSelfless, like a melting block of icePure, like an uncarved block of woodAccepting, like an open valleyThrough the course of NatureMuddy water becomes clearThrough the unfolding of lifeMan reaches perfectionThrough sustained activityThat supreme rest is naturally foundThose who have Tao want nothing elseThrough seemingly emptyThey are ever fullThrough seemingly oldThey are beyond the reach of birth and death

The Self-Connection Podcast: S1 E 15:A Zap of insight with Laura Dodson.Laura Dodson, a former student and eventual colleague of Virginia Satir joins the podcast today. Laura shares her wisdom through the telling of her own healing journey of shame and describes her experience working with Virginia and her own family of origin issues as essential to healing and finding peace. I found my conversation with Laura to be deeply enriching and hope that her passion, heart and wisdom shine through in this podcast.0:00 Tim provides a brief introduction to Laura Dodson. Laura did her first training with Virginia in 1963 Laura Dodson was a close friend of Virginia Satir and was by her side as she died of Pancreatic cancer in 1988.In addition to her extensive training with Virginia, Laura is also a Jungian analyst and did her postdoctoral thesis integrating Virginia's work with Carl Jung with her insights.Laura is one of the key leaders in sharing Virginia's work with the world. She has travelled to many parts of hte world including, Russia, Lithuania, and Thailand to offer training and workshops and has been doing so since the 80s.2:50 Laura does a meditation:6:00 Tim offers a brief commentary to transition into the conversation between himself and Laura.7:23 Tim asks Laura to share her own experiences of “Zap” . Laura shares about her early experiences of being a teacher and quickly transitioning to becoming a social worker as she was more interested in connecting to the inner lives of her students and family life and supporting growth at a deeper level. In this way, her life parallels Virginia as they both connected to their students' families to help support them with their learning. Laura wrote letters to the top family therapist of the time and Virginia was the only one to respond inviting her to train with her and offering something for her mind, body and soul.12:20 Laura talks about her first impressions of Virginia. She was present and expressive of what she felt and thought and Laura found this to be very exciting. She listened carefully to others. Laura worked in an adult inpatient mental health facility and she invited Virginia to come to teach, do demonstrations, and train the staff there two or three times a year over nine years.16:50 In this work, the emphasis was with families and creating community and the demonstrated successful outcomes over 5 year follow up.18:10 Laura shares that Virginia had a deep respect for others and did not allow for any blaming or shaming to occur in her work. Laura learned from Virginia to see the problem as one of coping not as one of pathology residing within a specific person which would foretell blame and shame. The intervention at the level of family and community created a sense of community around the problems that were occurring and the presenting problems could then resolve or lessen as a result of working in this way, that is, systemically.19:22 Understanding logically the futility of blame and understanding family of origin issues, and approaching emotional and family life from a stance of learned patterns and behaviors. Laura talks about Virginia's preparation in meeting a family, putting aside her concerns and agenda so she can be present and meet the individuals of the family with a sense of awe at the miracles they each are. She differentiated between peoples behavior from their essence. “We are all miracles. And I feel I am about to meet a miracle. So I feel respect and awe of that person. “ From that attitude, she would make contact and often physical touch contact to meet people. She wanted to join the family to explore what was happening and to explore choices of what other things could happen.Virginia approached people with a detective hat (sometimes literally!) , which symbolized an attitude of curiosity rather than blame. Virginia talked about blame being our first attempts at trying to understand what's happening and we don't have in our minds a broader way of looking at it. Seeing people and situations beyond blame is central to understanding how Virginia worked.Laura shares her view that people's intention and goals is not to hurt, unless its revenge for the hurt that they feel they've experienced. Revenge is not inherent in our nature but rather a reaction to pain.24:40 Tim asks how Virginia was able to have such confidence in the essence of people beyond their behavior and patterns. Virginia talked about each person have the seed of creativity within us. A problem is a block in energy. We are geared towards growth.26:00 Laura provides an example of someone suffering with Schizophrenia saying "people in this family never liked me|". Virginia would thank them for sharing and ask when they first felt that. They would go into the past and that's when the creative energy started to be blocked, the energy to solve problems was blocked because the solution or formulation is somehow they are ‘wrong, bad, dirty, evil, stupid or crazy'. Virginia would explore how differences were handled and talked about. Were they labelled as "bad". Then she would offer a new perspective, “What if we called your difference your uniqueness?” She worked to take blame and shame out of the conversation. Shame is particularly difficult because with shame we feel we should just disappear and not exist. She worked to help people see themselves as she saw them, as a miracle of life.27:42 Tim asks what Laura's experience of Zap. Laura describes growing up feeling shame about her body being tall and very thin. Laura was different in being attracted to people's emotional life which was very unlike those in her family. Laura recalls noticing tension in the family and taking on the blame and responsibility for that. “It's because of me. I did something wrong. I'm not loveable anymore. It must be my fault.”31:55 Laura recalls Virginia doing a sculpt with Fritz Perls (the founder of Gestalt therapy) role-playing her father and sitting his lap. Virginia said to her “You know something more happened to you when you were 5, something more than having long legs. You need to go find out.”Laura questioned her mother and finally found out that her father had an affair. Laura realized that what was happening in the family was not her fault. She explains that she felt relief. This was one example of a Zap moment for her.36:00 Laura shares that she had learned that shame was a reaction to anything wrong. She expanded her possibilities of how to react when something was wrong; beyond what a child would do, thinking “It's all my fault” Realizing that she was not the center of the universe as a child would think.Laura shares that her defence of pulling back and not talking, not being seen, was rooted in the shame of “I'm not ok” Before her work with Virginia, she couldn't become a woman and integrate her sensual side.39:50 Shame disconnects us from our Self, or Life force. We can apply the ideas of unravelling shame to healing from cultural trauma. Laura talks about her work in Lithuania as an experience of a nation experiencing shame. “Healing of shame applies to all systems.”45:25 We talk about Virginia's incorporation of the body, breath, movement. Tim asks Laura to share what she learned from Virginia about the importance of the body in the work of growth and healing. Laura relates her experience of Virginia dying and having an insight of what to do that came from meditation that was preverbal and body-based.49:20 Laura also shares another experience training with Virginia working with a woman who was in a car accident and walks us through the bodywork that occurred in her process of healing. “Leading by following a half a step behind.” is how Laura likes to work and how she witnessed Virginia working. She helped to help make conscious that is unconscious and almost conscious. She recalls Virginia stroking her hands and asking “if your hands could speak what would they say” so that she could come to her senses more and more.There is a relief when you can place in time and space the feeling tone that you carry within a particular context. Laura describes this as comforting and making sense of her pain. “To become familiar with that part of life that she had repressed”Virginia was very mindful not to interrupt the individual's process and encouraged her to experience her experience for herself. She was present to help Jackie find what her body was remembering. There is an art to staying out of the way and being a guide. Laura describes the importance of creating that bond between therapist and client before being able to go deep into bodywork or any healing process.58:50 Laura talks about how thrilling it can be to have a partner doing the work together and not getting in the way of it. Laura describes Freud's use of the couch with the patient lying down and facing away from the therapist as a way of doing this but analysts were not trained to show they care and to bond and to journey together was not present in Laura's experience of analysis of the time.1:00:00 We talk about the connection at the level of Self being the essential ingredient to transformation. That an overemphasis on method and technique can lose sight of this.1:01:30 We talk about the use of touch in therapy. Tim appreciates Virginia's use of the whole body and Self in therapy and Virginia's fearlessness in doing so. Laura talks about the important risk a therapist must take to speak the unspeakable, to bring to light what is felt but not yet said. The risks that a therapist takes an important ingredient according to Laura of what makes the work therapeutic and not just a casual conversation. To make the hypothesizing together and not needing to be right is an important part of being able to grow and learn in relationships.

0:00 Meditation5:30 What's alive in you? This is a different way of asking “how are you feeling?” This allows for the exploration of other forms of consciousness which may not be feelings such as beliefs, wishes, and yearnings.7:15 What is the space between things? It is formless and can be described by some of the energies we use to help transform our stuck experiences. Such as using presence, compassion, love to transform challenging emotions such as anger and depression.10:20 Congruence is the manifestation or expression of consciousness. This is where we have done the internal work of Self-connection and creating a conscious response in the form of a congruent behavior/expression. Congruent has as its effect a sense of peace and wholeness regardless of the response/reaction of others.13:00 Evolving consciousness occurs when we can connect to our deepest values and resources to transform our experiences and reactive patterns. Sharon calls this the “Pause” effect where we disengage from set patterns and access supports and resources to learn and create a new response.15:40 How do you know when you're in a rut or a pattern? Virginia talked about 4 survival patterns that represent ruts we can fall into : blame, placating, superreasonable, and irrelevant. What marks the use of a survival pattern is a loss of connection to one or more elements of self, other and context.18:20 Fight, flight and freeze are marked by overgeneralizations, characterizations, threatening, intimidating, are forms of fight. Flight looks like distracting from the topic, withdrawing, emotional withdrawal, stonewalling, cutting off. The defences can be combined in many ways creating what Virginia Satir called a ‘stress dance.”21:00 People's sense of themselves are eroded and degraded when stuck in these survival patterns. This is an important marker of defensive coping. In other words, you can identify that you are in a defensive stance if you are feeling of low worth and disconnected from your authentic Self.23:00 Healthy congruent communication is marked by a genuine dialogue where people's flaws aren't fixed character judgments and people can engage in a process of mutual understanding and growth together.23:45 “Its all about process the perception together” People quickly assume that they know what each other mean. It is important to check out each other's meaning because what is said and what is meant is often not the same thing.24:30 In having this dialogue we need to take turns listening because two people can not speak or listen simultaneously. Tim asks how do you decide who gets to be heard first? The person who can shift their energy from survival to openness, curious and compassionate can volunteer to listen first and can positively impact the relationship.26:30 We discuss the challenge of transitioning from the need to be right and to “win” the argument towards a collaborative supported conversation. Sharon suggests that we need to connect to our higher values and wishes of harmony, connection, love , we can let go of needing to be right.28:00 We debate on the utility and use of compassion. That congruence may simply the honest expression of one's own feelings without projecting a need of a particular response from the other.30:00 The difference between Ego and Self. We comment on competency at the level of Ego and our feedback should never be related to the Self. In order for us to receive feedback constructively, we need to differentiate between our ego and Self. When these are enmeshed then there is a tremendous threat and vulnerability in hearing negative feedback.32:30 Consciousness is a differentiation between Self and ego. The work of differentiating Self and ego is an ongoing growth process. Reflecting and meditating on these differences can help us grow. We need a secure base from which we can know who we are (Self) and then a way to share at the level of role /ego what is happening and having constructive growth-oriented conversations.33:40 Sharon makes the point that some people will struggle to feel Self-worth. We talk about how the attachment needs of a child are ego needs; and are an important part of healing. Ego's can die when the patterns no longer fit and can be reborn and this is personality transformations.36:15 Congruence is honest but it doesn't go below the belt and lose sight of respect of self, other and context. When we are communicating congruently, we are connected to our value and dignity at the level of Self as we are discussing things at the level of ego/form/role.39:15 “The Hardest Thing to do Ever!” is holding the mind and heart of my self and of the other simultaneously.

Show notes:Today we continued our conversation about choice and hinted at a future topic of integration. Our choicemaking evolves from our ability to be aware and awareness requires a connection to what we feel, what we are needing and yearning for, awareness of others feelings and needs and the ability to differentiate between Self and role within each person. If we can communicate from the basis of our Self we can make whatever constructive criticisms about our roles and functions that are needed.0:00 meditation4:30 the conversation begins. Sharon talks the part of the meditation she enjoyed having to do with the home inside. We talked about the developmental process of creating a home base inside that first comes in our experience of our relationship with parents as children.7:00 We explore what the elements of becoming a choicemaker are. We discuss the survival energies of fight, flight and freeze and Virginia Satir's coping stances as impulses that happen quickly and instinctively that are compulsions and not yet conscious choices.11:00 Sharon shares her insight that people who have experienced trauma have a tendency to self-blame and that this is an instinct to stay connected to parents. Understanding the underlying energy underneath the coping helps create a space for choice. Understand the survival instinct and the underlying energy as being protection or self-love, and then exploring the actual consequences of the survival coping can motivate the exploration of alternative choices.14:00 Sharon shares that when we speak in absolutes “it's all your fault” “it's all my fault” we are disconnected from the Self and speaking from a part. This could be the inner child or the protector, but these parts can often be functioning away from the whole Self.14:45 Sharon shares the hypothetical example of her husband being late and her blame of saying “you are always late” Communicating can instigate survival coping in others. Being aware of the expression of “you always “ or “I always” creates a choice point to treat yourself and others differently, perhaps with more compassion, acceptance and flexibility.15:20 When we say things like “you are always late” these messages and tone can be received as absolute conclusions “you are bad” When we communicate in absolutes we are potentially impacting and harming people's connection to Self. Often people give messages like this when they are feeling low in themselves, hurt, angry, disappointed. The perception of evil or a toxic conclusion about the Selfhood of another person is the source of a lot of pain, conflict and destruction in the world whether that is self or other perception. When messages are given in the way it is very easy to pick up a global message of “I am no good”17:24 There are choices with this awareness around how we communicate our emotions, especially hurts and pains. Then there are choices to make as the receiver that is healthier and process-oriented that avoids sticky conclusions that negatively impact the self-worth of a person.18:00 the Four survival coping stances. We go over each one briefly: these are blaming, placating, irrelevance, and superreasonable.21:00 Sharon walks us through the example of allowing herself to become aware of the initial emotions of anger and agitation, and then exploring the feelings underneath those, which might be upset, the unfulfilled wish, worry, anxiety. Our voice tone communicates blame and the energy in how we use our voice is essential in communicating non-defensively.23:40 Tim highlights the importance of being able to offer criticisms of each other in a way that does not diminish the self-worth and dignity of each other. Because we are in roles we are needing to give each other feedback so we can continue to grow and improve. Holding a connection to our Selves and to the Selves of others by saying with our voice tone “I see you and I value you and I'd like to tell you something that i need from you for us to work better together. Are you open to hearing me?”26:00 Sharon and Tim discuss and demonstrate communicating about role and function while also validating the Self in each person. This is an example of congruent communication.27:10 Sharon talks about resolving differences by asking each what they need and they pose the question “how can we each get our needs meet with the least cost to each other?” The question of need gets at yearnings and when we communicate at this level we can be creative and have constructive conversations about how to function in roles. Asking the question helps reorient ourselves back into our authentic Self and out of survival coping. Acceptance of the cost to each person allows for a free choice to be made, one that involves awareness and responsibility.

In today's episode, Sharon and Tim will explore context as it relates to healing, relationships, and personal growth. Virginia Satir emphasized an awareness and connection to the context that helped extend beyond the typical realm of focusing on individual feelings, behaviours and pathology.0:00 Context pushes us to think about multivariant factors acting and interacting to create situations and subjective experience.2:38 Sharon talks about the context for making contact. The therapist is responsible for creating a safe context for a person to be open and vulnerable and also to be aware of the context of which they are coming from as they transition from one setting to the next. We both emphasized the act of awareness of context and active creation of a particular kind of context related to therapy that allows for change and growth.6:15 It can be empowering to ask “How am I interacting and interfaced with my context right now? How am I using it? What experience am I creating in relation to the context?” “How will I use this context?” Asking these questions opens up a space of choice which is empowering.Sharon talks about the violation of the context as in what you say to whom and when. Whether to say something publicly or privately. These things relate to honoring the relationship/context7:45 Context has to do with the function, role and purpose of where we are. Clarity of function makes expectations clear. People experiencing dissociation, psychotic breaks or major depression are disconnected from their surrounding context.10:00 Sharon talks about how important it is to listen to those in the specific context and we talk about how playing with context creatively opens up new ways of being supportive to families and individuals in therapy. Tim talks about how having a supportive audience watching therapeutic processes can amplify and heighten the growth that people can engage in. This brings in the element of having a supportive community that is often missing in people's lives.14:15 Sharon talks about how powerful it can be to have a spiritual community where each member can ‘borrow from the bank' depending on who is feeling strong at a moment in time who can give and who is feeling weak and needing to receive. Sharon talks about her connection to her choir. She describes the power of a community connecting through healing sound whether it be singing, drumming, chanting.18:15 Sharon shares the story of monks that were getting sick because they reduced their time chanting. She references the book “The healing power of sound” by Mitchell L . Gaynor.19:40 Tim explores the impact of singing and chanting on breathe and it's physiological impact on the body. Then what is the impact of synchronizing sound with a group of people and the social connection that occurs? We talk about church choirs, concerts and sports teams and people singing and chanting together and how powerful that experience can be.22:00 What is your sound production doing to the context? Or what kind of context being created by the sounds we produce? When what I am feeling on the inside is irritability and what sound comes out is an irritable tone that impacts the environment, the space, the context.24:00 Virginia Satir was very intentional of being conscious of the relationship between people and context. For example, how comfortable are the chairs people are sitting on, what is the physical distance like? Too close, too far away?26:30 Sharon talks about the context of developmental changes in the family and of each member of the family. We discuss that people are mastering stages and then entering into new psychosocial stages of developments.28:00 We explore the dictionary definition of context. Sharon talks about the word “circumstances” as they relate to the present, what are my past circumstances that is causing a person to be overreactive at a moment in time. Virginia Satir would create sculpts with people where people could see the psychological, relational, cultural patterns and connections of those people of previous generations to provide more context to understanding their family in the present.31:00 we explore the tone and atmosphere of physical spaces like someone's home. Sharon talked about people commenting on her home “your house has a very nice energy.” John Banmen said of Sharon's home “I knew I could go into her fridge and get myself something and not even have to ask.”Sharon said that she loves having people in her home and that takes joy in having guests.34:30 We talk about a congruent context where people feel free to speak and where information flows freely. Where people feel free to see/hear, ask, comment, and take care of themselves.35:20 We explore ways that listeners can experiment and play with context in their lives.One thing to try might be to consider the physical elements of the environment and how I am using or not using those elements.37:00 Sharon suggests consider thinking about the context of relationship and what roles we are entering into as it relates to the changing physical environments. For example, a couple with children and a shared business will have multiple roles they are shifting in and out of constantly.39:20 Virginia Satir self-mandala can be thought of as eight different contexts. Feelings indicate the call and need to visit and attend to these different contexts. The 8 elements of self-mandala are: emotional, intellectual, relational, spiritual, contextual, sensual, physical, and nutritional.

19:19 Eva shared a story of when her teacher Judith Delozier first met Virginia. That she was so full of energy of love and connection. Eva love for her family and wanting to heal the pain in her family made her interested in Virginia and first learning about her five freedoms. She was also attracted to Virginia's wish to be a detective in families.9:00 What was the problem/puzzle that Eva was trying to solve or resolve within her family context and family business. She shares that she initially blamed herself and identified herself as the problem. Virginia helped her realized that it wasn't her or her father or the others but the whole interactional pattern that was the problem.13:45 In trying to fit into the family business, Eva suffered a loss of self-esteem and suffered from physical ailments, cervical cancer, which she took as signs that she was not in the right context for her life.18:30 Eva struggled to find herself as unique and separate from the family myth. Eva knew that she was loved by her father, but she describes wanting to connect and experience her father's love through the achievement of success through the family business.20:00 We talk about the difference between the hierarchical model as compared to the seed model which Virginia talked about as related to what Eva was experiencing with herself and her family business. Eva describes that she also felt value and respect across the corporate structure for every person as being of equal value. 26:00 Eva talks about another teacher, Dr Gunther Schmidt, who met Virginia Satir and how he seemed to sparkle when he spoke of her and that this also resonated with Eva. I interrupted Eva to reflect on this idea of spark and to try to unpack what is it more precisely about Virginia that has been so meaningful to people. Eva talks about the common reflection of felt sensing of presence which included the feelings of warmth, connection.29:45 We explore the question of “What is embodied presence?” that Virginia seemed to manifest so clearly. What was unique about Virginia was the way she used herself, how she was able to connect to something deep inside of herself to connect with others and how this came across in her sculpting, her eyes, and her use of touch.30:20 Use of Self is the key to facilitating healing and growth process. Eva describes her hunch that Virginia's mission for peace within, between and among as part of how she was present. What does it mean to feel peace within myself and peace between us and to live and breath and walk that?31:45 I ask what peace means to Eva. She talks about doing her own work to learn more about herself and to take her reactions to others as opportunities to grow. By engaging the shadow sides of her psyche, she can own as many parts of herself which creates peace because those parts aren't projected into the world and creating conflict.34:00 “We connect at the level of our sameness and grow through our differences.” We talk about how painful our differences can be and that the energy and work of forgiveness can help expand us and eventually create peace. Eva talks about the importance of noticing and acknowledging the parts within us that we have not yet made peace with.36:20 Eva describes “parts” as different motivations and emotional complexes such as anger, fear, happiness, joy and sadness. These are the many energies inside that can take on many forms. Eva talks about her professional role and her desire to gain validation at this level as being in conflict - something that felt empty and sad inside.40:00 Eva was yearning to be understood and to have a voice for her deepest sense of Self. She also yearned to have a space for her Self.42:00 “I needed to lose myself, in order to find myself” We explore whether there's anywhere around that tension between losing and getting lost and then finding oneself.“We need to lose and have a crisis to come into alignment,” Eva says.45:00 Eva calls the moments of crisis and chaos in life as “Kisses of awakening” The universe is saying we have a big plan for you. We're going to kiss you away. Something that you're doing here isn't quite right. For Eva, she experiences painful physical manifestation of such kisses of awakening.46:50 Virginia message of nurturing and support in the face of such experiences is essential to moving through the periods of chaos. Eva talks about using a circle of support/love that are people can hold and support you when you don't feel good.48:30 As we move through periods of chaos, and accept them as moments of awakening of changing our relationships with ourselves and with others, we are also increasing our ability to trust the life process and therefore engage more willingly with chaos and unknown.49:20 In Virginia Satir process of change model, she normalizes the experience of chaos as part of the journey. Awareness of such a phase in the process gives some reassurance to people experiencing the pain of chaos just as a map can be useful before travelling to a new destination.51:00 Some reflective questions from Eva during her process of change: “Who do I want to become?” “What is the gift of myself that I really want to share with others?” “How can I heal my wound so that my wound can be in service of the gift?” And therefore become an authentic messenger for this work. Eva believes that if you haven't been wounded then you can't really help people going through difficult times.“Your heart is meant to break open” Buddhist quote.52:33 Eva shares about her meeting with a group of people at a Satir Global meeting and meeting Sharon Loeschen. She describes the love, wisdom, skill, humility and nurturing in the room.1:00:00 Virginia developed a model of practice that was systemic and that was simple enough and yet able to account for the complexity of being human. Virginia put into words that which was very difficult to describe but was felt. This helped Eva make sense of her own experience of her self in relation to her family.1:02:00 Eva highlights the humanistic approach of Virginia and how we have learned to behave and cope with life. The family of origin work helps us make sense of patterns of coping that isn't about blame but empowering new learnings. Eva describes the perceptual world as out of proportion for young people and this sensory difference can be internalized as a sense of being powerless or of the world being scary for young children over time beyond the period of childhood. For example, all adults are taller than children so children need to look up. Virginia would often have children stand on stools to see their parents eyes directly and this experience would be the first time that parent and child communicated at the same physical level, which also communicates ‘equality of value.”1:06:00 Virginia awareness, care and use of the body was unique and something that is distinct from other modern models of psychotherapy. Whether it was making contact, building awareness with sculpting, practicing communication by coaching the eyes and ears to observe with judging prematurely, etc.“The body is a rich resource” Eva explains. The connection to the body allows us to connect to experiences that beyond words and the use of the body facilitates the emotional expression and release.1:11:30 We explore Eva's hope for Virginia Satir's work. Eva hopes for a systemic-relational approach that orients us back to the ‘juice of relationship'. Eva really hopes that the people she works with can really embody and put the five freedoms into practice: These have to do with the freedom to see/hear what is present, to feel what you feel, to say what you see/hear and feel and to ask for what you want and finally to take risks.We also talk about the emphasis on the process of becoming more conscious rather than getting stuck into conclusions and judgments, which Virginia emphasized and taught.Here are some linksHere is a link to the Enriching Program that Eva mentions:https://satirglobal.org/product/enriching-program-lessons-1-6/

Today we have our first guest on the Self-Connection podcast, Stephen Buckbee. I really enjoyed connecting, hearing and learning from Stephen. He demonstrated a strong understanding of systemic work and expressed that through his experiences with the mandala. His joy, passion and positive are inspiring and shine through in this conversation.1:48 Meditation using the various elements of the Mandala: Physical, emotional, contextual, relational, spiritual force, sensory8:10 Our conversation begins. Stephen shares about how Virginia's work influenced/affected him. He found her work to be unique in its effectiveness, its tools. He started working as a social worker in 1973. He liked her way of working with systems. He describes her as congruent and aware of the context (using everyone in the audience to work towards change).1986 he joined one her process communities for 30 days.10:44 We discuss Stephen's observation of congruence and context-awareness in Virginia that were unique. Stephen shared she made contact with clients powerfully intimate and would use sculpting. Stephen described the family session Virginia lead. The family was hoping for a change in the mother and as Virginia worked with the mother, the son observed the audience's expectations of his mother and his own that kept him from seeing that she was always trying the best she could.Virginia seemed to be aware of the parallel contexts: Audiences expectation of Virginia, Son's expectations of mom, Audience expectations of mom, etc.Virginia made the most use of whatever resources were there either in people or in the environment.16:00 Virginia was one of the first people working with whole families systems. She made use of physical sculpts to create pictures and experiences that help us understand what we are experiencing and also how others experiences are different from our own. For example, using sculpts to help people understand the different family experiences based on birth order or across generations.17:45 The uniqueness of Virginia is not to be found in the form or the words but in the spaces between the forms. Her strength was not getting locked into a particular pattern of relating and allowing her self to make a unique contact with unique people at a unique time and place.19:53 She talked with people and made contact with them. I take this to mean that she did not just respond to people in a role or with technique but as a human being feeling with others and allowing herself to feel along with and to fully present and fully human with others.20:15 Virginia gave tools and a framework that helped people change.Context is constantly changing whether we are talking about inner or outer context.Virginia helped teach people and gave them tools so they could understand the parts and resources within themselves and within each other that perhaps they had no idea were there.Virginia was creative and innovative. For example, she would have a woman who was shorter than her husband stands on a step so she and her husband could for the first time have a conversation eye to eye. This demonstrated her understanding of the importance of making physical contact and her belief that people need to connect at a level playing field that is of being of equal worth and value.22:40 We begin to discuss what the mandala is. Virginia liked to say “Everyone has a belly button” and it indicates our separateness and connection. She highlighted the human universals and she made connections with people through these universals. The core of the mandala is the Self and the various dimensions surround the Self. Virginia wasn't afraid to express what was universal wisdom.26:10 We talk about the interconnections between context and spiritual; specifically geographical and cultural context impacts the way spiritual life is expressed. Cultural context can set rules around what you can learn (intellectual). Senses are how we take in information and then this impacts emotional and intellectual life. The important point is looking at and exploring “How do we take in information?” and second “How do we create meaning about what we take in?” Stephen shares an example where a person upon seeing someone who is reminded of memory with a different person in their past is like putting a ‘hat' on that person that doesn't belong to them. Stephen clarifies that meaning exists in the intellectual and emotional levels of the mandala.29:40 Stephen shares his distinction between feelings and emotions. Emotions are hardwired, basic emotions like fear, anger, sadness and feelings are the response to the emotions, which also have to do with our rules about emotions. Emotions can trigger survival reactive patterns and then reactive perceptions “I am inadequate” Feels and emotions are triggered by the meanings we create.Stephen shares a wonderful and useful application of how we can look at family rules across the 8 elements of the mandala to understand the impact of the rule on our lives. For example, if a person has a rule “Don't ever show anger.” What impact does this have on the interactional, emotional, sensory level? Using the mandala as a tool helps us become broadly aware of the broad impact that such limiting rules can have.31:45 Stephen talks about nutritional piece. This layer deals with a fundamental and universal question which is “How do you feed yourself?” Whether that be spiritually, emotionally, relationally, literally, nutritionally, physically, etc. Stephen describes the nutritional element as what we do to be nurturing towards ourselves.We thrive in connection, in nurturing, in love. Stephen says, “How quickly people heal often have to do with what kind of support systems they have.”Stephen talks about the nutritional level as ‘taking in things.” Essentially what we allow into our lives.34:30 We discuss how important it is to note these various layers as processes rather than as fixed forms. Virginia used to remark, “The content provides the context from which to engage in the process of change and it is the process that is essential” Nurturing seems to be a general principle that is part of all layers of the Self. What are we allowing into our lives, our bodies, our relationships? What are we consuming in terms of information, experiences, connections?In our conversation, Stephen is educating me about how interconnected each of the aspects of the mandala are. That each layer offers a resource that adds to the whole that without it the whole would be significantly diminished.When we teach someone to interact differently, to feel their feelings, to be intellectually aware or to shift the perspective, all of these things related to how we can receive something that is positive and growthful for our lives.Imagine if we thought about the principle of nurturing alongside the interactive and that our wish to give and receive things were aligned with the value of only giving and receiving things that meant a value of nurturance.37:28 Interactional has to do with how you talk with yourself and how you talk/treat with others. Therapist help people change their inner dialogues. These patterns are based on their experiences from their family of origin. This layer is where we can explore and understand the survival coping stances we have learned and used (placating, blaming, super-reasonable, or irrelevance).38:30 Stephen explains that we each have vulnerabilities at every level of the mandala and these vulnerabilities is where our defences can be triggered. We will use a survival stance at any layer depending upon where our vulnerabilities exist.39:20 The physical layer is the container for all of our energy that is related to our name. When we get connected to our bodies through movement, this experience of grounding enables and empowers us then to contain and hold our emotional experiences. People experience physical sensation and symptoms that express /communicate from other areas of the mandala.41:45 We discuss how the use of the mandala points to universal that Satir emphasized “Wholeness”. It is in the integration of our various resources that we experience our wholeness.Stephen has an exercise where he has workshop participants try to give themselves an appreciation at each element of the mandala. The areas where there is resistance or difficult mark an area of growth.Stephen describes each of these elements of the mandala as ‘parts' of Self.45:00 The education around the mandala is learning how to use each resource with respect to one another especially at a moment in time of vulnerability, weakness and need.This tool is intended to help people connect to their own inner resources and empowerment.“Therapy isn't something that's done to anyone; it's something you do with someone.”47:00 Therapy might be thought of a ‘resourcing' process, of taking the things that are there and transforming things that are rejected and making them something useful and oriented towards growth.48:40 Stephen shared that Virginia goal was to expand and advance her tools not just repeat her. Stephen shared how he had used the mandala in training staff to be more aware of the wholeness of the people (vulnerable youth) and to look with greater depth and beyond assumed cultural norms/patterns that were significantly different between staff and youth. Exploring these universal dimensions creates a sense of common humanity and deep empathy. The awareness of the mandala within each person allows us to see behind and around behaviour rather than defining a person by what they have done or how they appear on the outside.50:20 Stephen recommends that we also integrate the use of the mandala with our assessment and tracking of the process of change. It seems to be particularly helpful to recognize where the individual is experiencing the foreign element that is creating chaos (trauma) within the mandala.52:30 We talk about Stephen's hope for the growth and expansion of Virginia's work. He talks about the hope and wishes that her work can be taught in college and universities. Stephen describes Virginia's work as transcending mere theory but being a powerful practice model that provides concrete tools. We talk about how her work is relevant in education generally from early childhood all the way up to higher education because her work helped people learn hot to be fully human and to become aware of inner resources and ways of connecting that were aimed at health and growth. Virginia taught at a level that was not full of jargon but was accessible to a broad and general audience.Please visit https://satirglobal.org/ to learn more about Virginia Satir and various trainings and workshops there. Also consider joining the Satir Global Facebook page and connect with the community there: https://www.facebook.com/VirginiaSatirGlobalNetwork/

0:30 Meditation begins7:21 The conversation begins. We first explore some of Virginia's writings related to congruent living from her book “Peoplemaking” Sharon describes congruence as an energy space to be living and a place from which you manifest living as Virginia described.Congruent living involvesCommunicating clearly new line cooperating rather than competing new lineTo empower rather than dominate new lineTo enhance individual uniqueness rather than to categorizeuse authority to God I've accomplished what it's it's rather than to force by line through the tyranny powerTo love value and respect themselves fullyTo be personally and socially responsibleTo use problems and challenges as opportunites for growth/creative solutions11:30 We talk about wholeness and the free flow of energy as a way of thinking of congruence. Sharon describes her learning from Virginia Satir as she taught about congruence. “We are born whole and we are born holy” Virginia used to say “We are born with our holes open”15:00 We talk about the free flow of energy as related to the transformation of rules. For example having the free to see/hear, feel, say, ask and take risks.18:00 You can't always be open or free of the rule, but you develop a consciousness around the reactive survival patterns. The awareness creates the space and the energy to make new choices.21:00 “There's no cure , only evolution” Virginia had said. This was to say that we never lose our reactive patterns, but we evolve greater consciousness in relationship to those patterns.22:45 : Tim makes the point that our Self, the ground of our being is always there, it's a matter of whether we are there consciously. If we can have a healthy relationship between Self and the experience. To be connected to your Self and to look at your experience you are having and connecting your strength and wisdom is a way of describing congruent living.25:45 Congruence is the alignment and harmony between the inside and outside (feelings/thoughts and behavior). Congruence involves being connected to Self which includes deep yearnings and values/needs.28:00 Congruence is the honoring and harmony of Self, others and context.30:00 Congruent communication is speaking at two levels Role and Self. Where we are perciving and upholding the Self worth that underlies the role. There is always a connection and respect to the essence and dignity of the other person. Our words speak to the role, the function, and the tone , non verbals, speak to the Self. Parenting without communication and honoring the Self is disconnected and unsustainable.33:00 Our non verbal communciation gives messages about our attitude towards the other person and the relationship. For example, a tone of contempt communicates a sense of disrespect and also a lack of contained toxic emotions (anger).34:50 Sharon talks about John Gottman's concept of ‘bids for attention'. We can learn to recognize bids for attention/validation and how we can learn to better respond to them and increase intimacy and connection.37:00 We need to be responsible for being connected to our Self-worth as separate from whether or not people are meeting our needs/bids. If we can learn to be connected to our Self, we are able to be resilient in the face of disappointment and hurt moments.39:35 We talk about the importance of repair when bids are missed. We can learn and grow through the repair process. Tim shares the importance people being in touch with their self-worth, the ground from which they can communicate, notice what they are feeling/needing. When we are too stuck in the rigidity of a role and specific function, we can become resentful and not be able to communicate congruently and to ask for what we want/need42:00 Sharon shares about Virginia's work with a couple and how challenging it was for the woman who tended to placate and ask for what she wanted. She wanted her husband to make the coffee in morning and she broke the rule of asking and voicing her need. She had to step out of the role of being the ‘caretaker' and that she had no right to ask for anything. This example illustrates the experience of the five freedoms: seeing/hearing, feeling freely, saying what you want/need, and asking for it and the risking something.

0:14 Meditation starts5:17 The conversation begins. We explore what do therapist do to prepare themselves for their work and Sharon shared that it is important that she does things outside of being a therapist that feeds her soul .7:00 We talk about the therapist's maintaining a healthy boundary and respect for the others internal capacity for healing, their inner resources as a means of avoiding burnout.11:00 Sharon talks about her experience of connecting to her community through song as a way of grounding and healing and feeding her soul. Allowing herself to be nurtured.15:00 Sharon talks about Virginia's metaphor of the candle representing the light that exists in each person. We talk about support as being the genuine belief in the worth of another human being and the genuine look of awe that comes of that belief.18:15 We do the exercise of “Do you mean?” to demonstrate an activity which helps deepen ones understanding of the other by making the listener work hard to workout possible meanings. This facilitates a separation between what is said and what is meant and helps in building an individual ability to attune and validate another's message.We run through an example to demonstrate what the exercise looks like.24:40 Sharon shares an activity called “With whom am I having the pleasure?” This is where you sit with a new person and allow yourself to look at the sense , explore memories, characteristics and explore feelings , stereotypes, reminders of someone else, third party information, thoughts and projections and to be aware of what comes up automatically without any direct experience. This exercise helped people separate reality from their perceptions/interpretations and also encouraged them to comment on these things openly.28:40 Sharon shares the longer the relationship the more intimate, the longer the database of projections are.29:30 We explore the differences between support in a professional context compared to a personal one. In personal role, people avoid getting stuck in a fixed and rigid role for example as caregiver, rescuer, scapegoat, victim, etc.34:00 the development of supporting skills requires a constant negotiation of role, expectations, beliefs to ensure a mutual and health connection in personal relationship that remains distinct from a professional role.37:20 “The problem isn't the problem; the problem is the coping with the problem” Virginia Satir. We engage in patterns of coping based on our negative experience. For example, we can cope with the situation with our reactive emotion of anger and behaving aggressively to try to get our needs met. The therapist offers a transcendent stance and energy of acceptance, compassion, growth, openness to cope with the problem.40:00 We can shift our identity from “I am depression” to “I am love” and begin to use the positive energy to be a container for holding the painful emotions/experiences. When we are connected to someone in a supportive role, like a therapist, they facilitate that experience with us. Growth/healing/health is in the integration of rejected, toxic and pained parts of ourselves.