Addiction and the Family

This episode looks at the role of negative emotions in our lives, how to recognize and ride through them, how to learn from them, and how these things show up in recovery from addiction (and other mental health disorders) for both the person with the disease and those who love them. This episode is based on the "Biology of Mental Health" series that I teach at Windmill Wellness Ranch. Our podcast has been going since February of 2020, and we started producing both video and audio versions of each episode starting April 2025. Moving forward, each episode will be released as both video on YouTube and audio on Fireside. YouTube channel: @addictionandthefamily

When Jessica's young adult son JB overdosed on fentanyl, he had a massive brain injury, and Jessica was told to abandon all hope. Instead, she fought for him and found the care he needed. In this moving interview, we hear her story of heartbreak and hope. We also hear from Dr. Ivanhoe of TIRR Memorial Hermann Hospital in Houston, who has been working with the family for years. Video edition of this episode available on YouTube: https://youtu.be/g4ptPLDZ0zo

In this episode, we talk to Jami Carlacio, a recovery coach and podcaster who grew up around addiction all her life, fell into the disease herself, and was the first in her family to find recovery. She talks about how she not only transformed her life, but also started changing the family lineage of addiction through her own parenting and work as a recovery professional. We discuss how important it is to change relationship patterns and some ideas on how this might be done. Special Guest: Jami Carlacio.

We look at different aspects of the illusion of control. We talk about what it is, how it affects family dynamics, how it affects recovery, how to recognize it in your life, and how to start diminishing its impact in your life and relationships.

In this episode, we talk with one of my colleagues at Windmill Wellness Ranch, Sara, who has several years of recovery under her belt, and Lera, her teen daughter who grew up mostly apart from Sara until a few years ago. They talk about the impact of addiction in their lives, their ongoing struggles, how they have come together more as each finds her own growth, and what they feel has worked best to help the healing.

We catch up with guests from previous episodes to see how 2024 has been for them. We find out how they have been experiencing and dealing with some of the victories and challenges that come with this life in recovery. In each case, we hear stories of experience, strength, and hope that can help inspire all of us as we wrap up 2024 and look forward to another year of recovery in 2025.

We talk with Dr. Judith Smith, who has researched and written about the difficulties of parenting adult children with addiction and other mental health challenges. We talk about what she has learned, how this interfaces with what we know about addiction in families, and how to find your way through these challenges. Special Guest: Judith Smith, PhD.

We look at what to expect when you or someone you love leaves treatment. We talk about what you should do to prepare before discharge, what to do immediately after, and how to prepare for long term recovery.

Amanda and Marissa share their story of going from people suffering from addiction and homelessness to people living the gifts of recovery, including buying their first house as a place to raise their kids.

We look at many aspects of forgiveness: what it is, how it connects to recovery, and how to do it. We include a guided forgiveness meditation.

Matt F explores his family history, which includes generational patterns of addiction and the distress it creates, tracing this back through as far as he can find in his family tree. He talks about his recovery from multiple addictions and how recovery is positively impacting his kids.

Margaret shares her courageous story of a life impacted by addiction, first through her marriage and then in uncovering her own addiction. We explore the recovery journey she lives today and the work she does to help families navigate addiction in a loved one. Special Guest: Margaret Swift Thompson.

We examine the recovery acronym "HALT" to see if its guidance to not let yourself get too Hungry, Angry, Lonely, or Tired holds up to scientific scrutiny. We look at how each of these factors affects your brain and your recovery.

Mellissa talks about seeing family patterns of addiction play out in her parents, siblings, and herself throughout childhood, adolescence, and much of her adult life. She looks at the transformations that have happened through recovery, leading her to a life of service.

Mia Tracy is a therapist who found recovery while working in the field. She shares the ups and downs of her journey and how she found the strength a humility to claim her seat at the recovery table. Special Guest: Mia Tracy, LCSW.

Research is increasingly showing that eating disorders are a form of addictive/compulsive behavior. We explore this idea, what it implies, and what we can do. Along the way, we interview Dr. Heather Ingram to get further insight and perspective. Special Guest: Heather Ingram, PsyD.

Ashely and Tom reflect on what it was like for them as a couple and for their kids before Ashley found recovery at Windmill Wellness Ranch in 2022, what it was like while she was at the treatment center, and what it is like now.

In this retrospective episode, we look back at the year in recovery as we interview several people who have been on the program in 2023. Each one talks about their year in recovery and what they hope for in 2024.

Now that NARCAN is approved as an OTC drug, we look at how this life-saving medication works, how to use it, how to recognize opiate OD, controversy around it, and where to get it (sometimes for free).

Tonja Myles talks about her rise from family and personal trauma into the triumph of her amazing and accomplished life in recovery today. We discuss intergenerational trauma and how healing can happen for anyone. Check out her new book, "From the Crack House to the White House." Special Guest: Tonja Myles.

Christopher Morris, author of "We Are All Made of Scars", talks about growing up with a mother who struggled with alcohol. He talks about what he learned along the way and finding his own recovery. Special Guest: Christopher Morris.

In their new children's book, Casey and illustrator Skye Hilton worked together to help kids find hope and healing around a parent's addiction. Skye and Casey discuss why they wrote it and how to talk to kids about these issues. Special Guest: Skye Hilton.

Valerie Silveira, founder of Warriors in Hope, talks about how the tragedy around addiction in her daughter changed her life, not only in how low it took her but also how it was transformed into a source of inspiration to help others. Special Guest: Valerie Silveira.

In this episode, we interview Dr. Evelyn Higgins about the work she is doing on teh gentics of addiction and how she uses it to bring hope and help through her company Wired for Addiction. She also talks about some the othe preson journey tha tled to her interest in helping those with addiction and their families. Special Guest: Dr. Evelyn Higgins.

Lisa Gennosa talks about the trials and blessings of her son's addiction, finding her own recovery, and helping others through personal encounters, professional talks, and her new book "Incurable Hope". Special Guest: Lisa Gennosa.

We tackle some of the questions families have for people in active addiction, in treatment, and then in early recovery. Our all-star panel of people in recovery from addiction give honest and heartfelt answers.

We explore the stress that addiction and early recovery put on relationships of all kinds and how to find your way to healthier relationships through all of it. As part of this, we tell our story to illustrate some of the concepts.

As teens, Deanna and Travis were suddenly siblings when their parents married. Little did they suspect that they would help each other find and deepen the recovery they share today.

Dr. Gigi Langer talks about her recovery both from her own addiction and as a family member, and what this taught her about being her most loving self. She shares some of those insights, including removing roadblocks to being your most loving self.

How to survive and even thrive during the holidays whether you are recovering from your own addiction or someone else's. Chock full of ideas and tips to get through this time of year.

Author Ashleigh Nowakowski talks about how she was affected by her brother's addiction, recovery, and relapse, finding her own recovery in the process, setting boundaries, and how she has grown as a result. Her book "The Shadow Child" brings all this together, including many helpful ideas for other family members affected by a loved one's addiction. Special Guest: Ashleigh Nowakowski.

Casey talks about why spirituality is important to many people in recovery, where it's hard, and how to get through some of the challenges. He shares insights from his new book, "Spirituality for People Who Hate Spirituality".

Erika Unberhagen talks about how families of first responders and veterans are impacted by addiction and mental health issues, how The Guardian Initiative at Windmill Wellness Ranch helps, and her own experiences that led her to do this work.

Erika Unberhagen talks about The Guardian Initiative at Windmill Wellness Ranch, a program for first responders and veterans, and her own experiences in law enforcement and addiction that led her to do this work.

A wide-ranging conversation about philosophy, spirituality, and recovery with author Peg O'Connor, We talk about what these ideas mean for both people with addiction and those who love them. Peg talks about her new book "Higher and Friendly Powers" and how it comes out of her work and her own recovery. Special Guest: Peg O'Connor.

Lisa Davidson, Clinical Director at Windmill Wellness Ranch, talks about her personal and professional journey of recovery using SMART Recovery, one of the major alternatives or adjuncts to 12 Step recovery. She gives examples of the tools of SMART and how they work on a practical level to help people with addiciton and those they love recover. Special Guest: Lisa Davidson.

We interview two innovators in addiction treatment: Dr. Heather Ingram and Shannon Malish, LCSW. Each talks about how she works directly with people's brains to help them recover. Special Guests: Heather Ingram, PsyD and Shannon Malish, LCSW-S.

We interview Dustin Williams, who owns an intervention and personal recovery service. He shares some of his story of recovery and how he helps families get a loved on into and through treatment, then supports them afterward.

We hear from Dianne, who learned how to live the principles of Al-Anon in her marriage, and how this helped her to have a long relationship full of recovery for both her and her husband. She talks about learning to set boundaries and what this did for her recovery as well as her husband's. She discusses how she practices detachment with love.

In this interview, counselor Paige Majko talks about her personal and professional relationship with addiction and recovery, including her work with families affected by addiction, and what recovery has done for her family.

In this episode, we explore underlying assumptions that lead to unhealthy enabling and how to challenge these, how Shakespeare can help you move from enabling to helping, and provide some questions you can ask yourself in order to see if you are about to enable someone or help them.

In this wide-ranging conversation with Brian and Tamara, Kira and Casey explore the ins and outs of being in recovery while being in long-term relationships. Both couples share their stories, what has worked best for them, and how they have grown together.

We talk with Merrit Hartblay, social worker and addiction counselor in New York. Merrit and Casey talk about the things they've seen most help families deal with addiction, and their personal stories of how they found healing in their own families. Merrit hosts his own podcast "Recovery Road" and is the author of "Lost Innocence: My Journey From Addiction to Recovery".

We interview Abigail Seymour, who specializes in family law around addiction, especially the tricky waters of child custody. She offers insight for people in recovery, their co-parents, and other family members who find themselves suddenly thrust into these difficult issues. She also shares what drew her to this work and what inspires her to keep going.

In this episode, we look at various ways you can create happiness through the tools of positive recovery, including PERMA, a focus on strengths, resilience, and the power of gratitude. For each concept, we will present a practical exercise you can use to start seeing benefits.

We interview Ashley, who traces the roots of her codependent patterns back to childhood, who married someone with addiction, and who learned to let these patterns go. She looks at how she learned to moved into a healthier way of seeing and caring for herself. She talks about how she made these changes and how she now helps others do the same.

In this episode, we look at how to have more effective communication and boundaries. We learn about communication styles, how to tell which one is your default, and tips on how to communicate more effectively in any situation. We also discuss what makes an effective boundary and how to set some boundaries of your own.

Arnold shares what he has learned during his 50 years in AA, how his family was affected before and after his wife found her own recovery, and what family members can do when faced with addiction.

We look at the idea of emotional sobriety, how it applies for family members as well as those with addictions, why it's important for everyone, and how to enhance it in your life. We feature an interview with Teresa, who has over 30 years in recovery and was one of our first role models for emotional sobriety.

Dr. Al Mooney entered family recovery at age 10, when his parents got sober. Sixty years later, he reflects on how this experience shaped him and led to a lifetime of helping others to recover. Special Guest: Dr. Al Mooney.