Ballroom State of Mind

What might I say to a newer ballroom dancer that was just getting started? This was asked of me in a recent coaching session with a brand new bronze level dancer. I answered her questions and decided to pass some of the answers on to you. Even as a seasoned dancer, I think you will find yourself in these 7 pieces of advice:Crash into itYou can't skip suckingNever stop having funMaintain a sense of sovereigntyResults are just a tool, not the truthMinimize mental inputCompete (or perform) as soon as you canListen in and enjoy!!Go HERE to get on my waitlist for my group coaching program! Scroll to the bottom and click on the "JOIN THE WAITLIST" button!Join my Facebook Group,⁠ JOYFUL BALLROOM ⁠to be a part of a fun, positive ballroom dance community!

After pushing forward from Newcomer to Open American Rhythm in 5 years, I have been feeling the fatigue. Am I tired? Burned out? Unmotivated? Being burned out is just one of many reasons you might find yourself unmotivated. In this episode, we provide 8 common reasons amateur and pro/am ballroom dancers, or any dancers for that matter, might find it hard to be motivated:-Comparison-Perfectionism-Unclear or unrealistic expectations-Lack of visible progress-Negative self-talk-Over-reliance on external validation-Burnout-Fear of failure or fear of being judgedCan you see yourself in any of them?? Listen in to get some help!By way of announcement, we are steadily adding podcast episodes to YouTube on my YT channel, ⁠Amber Haider Coaching⁠. Go check it out and share with your fellow ballroom, salsa, country, and other partner dance friends!Join my Facebook Group,⁠ JOYFUL BALLROOM ⁠to be a part of a fun, positive ballroom dance community!

All dancers can relate to wanting to be more confident. If we could just dance more confidently, with less anxiety and more freedom we could finally show up as the dancer that we want to.But as a ballroom dancer, standing on deck, ready to go on the floor, feeling all of that anxiety and pressure to please our partner, teacher, and/or ourselves, the pressure can prove to be too much. We might think that we want to be calm, or relaxed. This week I want to try on the idea that what we actually want to feel is self trust. Self trust might be a concept that we have not considered in the past as the antidote to anxiety and the key to dance confidence. Listen in as we offer three dimensions of self trust. Your PAST self, your PRESENT self and your FUTURE self all have specific ways that they can offer you ways to trust yourself. By way of announcement, we are steadily adding podast episodes to YouTube on my TY channel, Amber Haider Coaching. Go check it out and share with your fellow ballroom, salsa, country, and other partner dance friends! Join my Facebook Group, JOYFUL BALLROOM to be a part of a fun, positive ballroom dance community!

It can be easy to get discouraged when you have been working hard at something and you're not seeing the results that you want. All humans love a good immediate reward for a job well done. But sometimes the results are slow in coming. In this episode we talk about being patient with the process and continuing to work it. The most exceptional people are enormously patient with applying the process that will get them the results that they want. Are you in that class of dancer?Book referenced: How Champions Think, by Bob RotellaListen/watch the podcast on YouTube!Private coaching sessions, along with consults and Dance Strategy Calls are paused while we plan for 2025 and a brand new offer!  To get on the interest list for what's coming, go HERE.Go HERE to join my free Facebook Group JOYFUL BALLROOM

If you are concerned or having doubts about one or more of your dance relationships, listen in to this episode. I list 5 stages that relationships tend to go through no matter what kind of relationship it is...work, family, romantic, friendships, etc. These stages exist whether you are the student or the teacher, the male or the female or otherwise. The stages are:HoneymoonUnmaskingCrossroadsAdaptationDecisionI guarantee you'll see yourself in this episode and gain some clarity about what is happening in your dance relationships.Private coaching sessions, along with consults and Dance Strategy Calls are paused while we plan for 2025 and a brand new offer!  To get on the interest list for what's coming, go HERE.Go HERE to join my free Facebook Group JOYFUL BALLROOM

Sometimes trying to be positive just isn't working. Maybe it's an injury, maybe you've been competing a long time and never won. Maybe you've been trying to break into the next level and you're just plain discouraged. People can try to offer you all kinds of platitudes and solutions, but if none of that is working...maybe it's time to just be discouraged.We can be afraid to just allow it because we fear it will take over and swallow us up. But when we remember that we can maintain ownership of the experience while simultaneously allowing ourselves to go through it, we can finally process it enough such that other things we try can take hold...things we discussed in Episode 62Private coaching sessions, along with consults and Dance Strategy Calls are paused while we plan for early 2025 and a brand new offer!  To get on the interest list for what's coming, go HERE.Go HERE to join my free Facebook Group JOYFUL BALLROOM

In episode 105, we introduced the term glitch to represent the moment where a ballroom dancer gets distracted and knocked out of the zone. In this episode, we give you two more tools to add on to the idea of a glitch.After a glitch happens, you may find yourself in "limbo" where you are past the undesirable moment but haven't moved forward yet. The limbo moment can feel like a confusing, out-of-body experience where your brain got knocked offline and hasn't come back on yet. Our goal is to minimize limbo and move on quickly by flushing that moment and then "locking-in."Locking in is the term we will use to describe consciously making the decision about moving forward out of limbo. Listen in for more guidance on these terms and how to use them to recover faster, build resilience and improve your dancing!Gohere to sign up for the 2 week free trial membership for the Dance Wellness Community. I'm participating in a call next Tuesday, Feb 18 at 11:30 am PT. You should come!!Private coaching sessions, along with consults and Dance Strategy Calls are paused while we plan for early 2025 and a brand new offer!  To get on the interest list for what's coming, goHERE.GoHERE to join my free Facebook Group JOYFUL BALLROOM

This episode is a continuation of the previous and explores 5 specific limiting beliefs that I have heard dancers express in our private coaching sessions. They are: 1. If I'm not practicing on my own, I shouldn't keep taking/paying for lessons2. I shouldn't keep doing this is if I'm never going to win3. I'll never be as successful as the students with more money/time/resources4. I shouldn't compete/perform until I've mastered every detail5. If it's not coming naturally/easily, I'm not cut out for it Listen in for why they are a problem and an alternative belief for each one.  Private coaching sessions, along with consults and Dance Strategy Calls are paused while we plan for early 2025 and a brand new offer!  To get on the interest list for what's coming, go ⁠HERE.⁠ Go ⁠HERE⁠ to join my free Facebook Group JOYFUL BALLROOM

All of us make decisions in our life that are heavily influenced by our beliefs. Beliefs are things that we believe to be true that govern the way we move about the world. They are shaped by our history, the people who raised us or influenced us and often they are unconscious and develop over time. However, beliefs are just thoughts. They are thoughts that we have rehearsed so many times that they seem inherently true, yet they are just thoughts. Thoughts are optional. Thoughts can be changed at any time. A lot of our beliefs serve us well but many do not. Some of the sneakiest beliefs SEEM good but are actually holding us back or sabotaging us. In this episode, we offer 4 beliefs for you to questions and explore. These first 4 are inspired by the book The Confident Mind by Nate Zinsser. Go HERE for your own copy. Part two of this will come in the next episode. Private coaching sessions, along with consults and Dance Strategy Calls are paused while we plan for early 2025 and a brand new offer!  To get on the interest list for what's coming, go HERE. Go HERE to join my free Facebook Group JOYFUL BALLROOM

Why does ballroom dance have to be so freaking expensive? Just like the cost of everything has been going up, many dancers are finding their studios and teachers raising their rates. If it already felt expensive to you, if it was already a stretch, and you feel like you can't take it anymore, you are not alone. However, in this episode I want to bring us back to earth. Whatever the circumstances are for us at any given time, we can make the best of it. So rather than getting a little stuck in scarcity–which is VALID–I want to empower you to find abundance and resourcefulness. Or walk away if that's what needs to happen. Either way, I think love and trust and abundance will serve us better than fear, scarcity and victim mentality. Private coaching sessions, along with consults and Dance Strategy Calls are paused while we plan for early 2025 and a brand new offer!  To get on the interest list for what's coming, go HERE. Go HERE to join my free Facebook Group JOYFUL BALLROOM

Sometimes as dancers we have a problem that we want to discuss with our teacher but it's hard to bring it up. We don't want to hurt their feelings or harm the relationship. Maybe we are people pleasing or maybe we just aren't sure what is a reasonable request and what isn't. In this episode, we've invited Mary Pinizzotto, a dancer teacher from Kansas City to bring the teacher's perspective to the conversation. She brings her knowledge of relationships and communication plus 35 years of teacher experience to weigh-in. Whether it's teacher's being late, allowing interruptions during lesson time, or failing to be responsive in communication, or it seems like they are holding you back when you are ready for the next level, we talk about it in this episode along with some strategies to approach the conversation. Private coaching sessions, along with consults and Dance Strategy Calls are paused while we plan for early 2025 and a brand new offer!  To get on the interest list for what's coming, go HERE. Go HERE to connect with Mary Pinizzotto Go HERE to join my free Facebook Group JOYFUL BALLROOM  

"I just want to feel like I belong. I don't even have to be the best one, but I want to feel like I look like everyone else and have a right to be there." This is an interesting topic to explore--belonging. In this episode, we try to define it, determine why it can be confusing and elusive, and then define for ourselves what it means so that we can grant it to ourselves and reap the benefits of this belief. Don't forget that private coaching sessions will be a thing of the past in 2025. Dance Strategy Calls are done and the only way to get private coaching is through the current deal that expires on Friday, Dec 6. 2024. Go HERE to buy a set or two for yourself or a dancer you love!

Sometimes it seems that no matter how much work you do, you never really get comfortable being in the spotlight. No matter how much you practice, perfect your skills, or perfect your look, the "stage fright" is just too much. Have you ever considered if maybe you have a fear of being seen? A fear of being perceived? This is a real thing with a real name--scopophobia. It might be as mild as some self-consciousness and as severe as panic attacks and paranoia. In this episode we piggy-back off number 114 about inner work and outer work and show you what inner work might help you to finally loosen this up for you so it doesn't continue to plague you! Don't forget, private coaching is going away in 2025! This is your last chance to buy some private sessions. Find the link to book private sessions HERE. This offer expires 11/30/24 at the latest...but will end sooner if spots fill up. I explain this more in my free Facebook group, Joyful Ballroom. Go HERE to get the info and for more great ballroom content.

Changing who we are is not easy to do. Becoming a better, stronger dancer takes effort, practice and perhaps another type of work that we don't do very much: inner work.  Sometimes the outward action that we take does effect change inside us and changes us. That for sure happens. But if you want to make real, permanent, effective change, I recommend you pair your outer, mechanical, dance work with the inner work of mindset shifts, belief changes, emotional management and nervous system regulation. If all that sounds terrible and like too much work, I break it down for you and make in manageable in this episode! You'll soon see how the inner work can transform your outer work in record time! I also make a very important announcement at the end of this episode. Find the link to book private sessions HERE. This offer expires 11/30/24 at the latest...but will end sooner if spots fill up. I explain this more in my free Facebook group, Joyful Ballroom. Go HERE to get the info and for more great ballroom content.

Comparison is the thief of joy. This is a well known saying, that while it may be trite, it's true. Comparing yourself to others is a quick way to kill your confidence and stall your motivation. In this episode, I give you a metaphor to convince you to keep your eyes on your own journey. When you really, truly, deeply understand that another person's journey is irrelevant to yours, your progress will take a big jump forward. This is the metaphor of the mountain. I know you'll love it. Book a Dance Strategy Call ⁠HERE for more help Join my free Facebook group, Joyful Ballroom HERE for more great ballroom content.

One of the most important aspects of yourself that you can address to get the most out of yourself and achieve what you want to achieve is to address your self talk. One of the most insidious and destructive types of self talk is self criticism. If you are a perfectionist-type, your inner critic comes on loud and proud before you can know what is happening. In this episode we unpack self criticism, why it's so easy to go there so quickly, and why it is actually a terrible way to go even though it works much of the time. We introduce self coaching as an alternative to self criticism because we can still maintain knowledge of what needs to be improved, but serve it up with a much more balanced and confidence preserving strategy. Finally we discuss the steps to take to shift from self criticism to self coaching. Let's go!! Book a Dance Strategy Call ⁠HERE for more help Join my free Facebook group, Joyful Ballroom HERE for more great ballroom content.

Humans are very good at identifying what they don't want and how they don't want to feel. As a coach, I try to help my clients point their attention to what they DO want. In this episode I introduce optimism as just one attitude or approach and is instrumental to success and high performance. I don't think we can be successful unless we have some amount of optimism to help fuel us. Listen in for how you might be letting pessimism sneak into your attitude and cut you off at the knees, and 4 ways to help cultivate more optimism in your life and in your dancing. Book a Dance Strategy Call ⁠HERE for more help Join my free Facebook group, Joyful Ballroom HERE for more great ballroom content.

Boundary work is some of the best work that you can do. It will change your life! Listen in for what a boundary even is. We often get this wrong and it results in trying to control other people, which doesn't work! We also reveal the sneaky ways in which you may be the reason you aren't getting what you want in life.  Book a Dance Strategy Call ⁠HERE for more help Join my free Facebook group, Joyful Ballroom HERE for more great ballroom content.

Are you like most humans, who believe in Murphy's Law? Anything that can go wrong, will go wrong? And anything bad happens in threes? Bad things happening is contagious and will continue. Do you also believe that when things are going well that the other shoe is about to drop? That your luck will run out? That kind of thinking is very human of us, but unfortunately isn't going to help us much when it comes to doing our best and wanting to be confident on the dance floor. When things are going poorly, what if we had the belief that all that means is that we are about to have a big turnaround? And that when things are going well, that we can't lose? That we are on fire! On a hot streak! We can't miss! That is called the Shooter's Mentality and while we can't ensure the outcome that we want, adopting this mentality definitely puts us in the best possible position for success!  Listen in to find out more so you can adopt this mindset for yourself. This concept was first introduced to me in the book The Confident Mind by Dr. Nate Zinsser. Book a Dance Strategy Call ⁠HERE for more help Join my free Facebook group, Joyful Ballroom HERE for more great ballroom content.

Why don't you want to mess up? What is so bad about making mistakes? Why do you work so hard for a perfect performance? "I don't want to feel embarrassed!" Embarrassment DOES feel pretty terrible. But what if we weren't afraid of it? What if we didn't let that hold us back? What if feeling embarrassed was actually a signal that you were doing something great? That you were actually in the arena making things happen? What if you could make peace with it and even decide that you didn't have to feel it if you didn't want to? Find out more by listening to this episode and getting the upper hand on feeling embarrassed! Book a Dance Strategy Call ⁠HERE for more help Join my free Facebook group, Joyful Ballroom HERE for more great ballroom content.

Listen in on the 4 questions you might ask yourself before a comp, and what went down for me at the Volunteer State Dance Challenge 2024.

Our brain offers up a lot of nonsense. Negative self-talk can be a common experience in the human condition. But it can also undermine our confidence. Listen in for an easy strategy to overcome the negative thinking and get back on track! I forgot to mention that much of this content was based on concepts from the book The Confident Mind by Dr. Nate Zinsser Book a Dance Strategy Call ⁠HERE for more help Join my free Facebook group, Joyful Ballroom HERE for more great ballroom content.

If you have ever been in the middle of a dance performance and suddenly felt your mind go blank, you might know the feeling of utter panic. You might feel lost, confused...horrified. And here you are in the moment and need to do something about it but your brain can't connect two neurons for some reason. You might find your way or finish the round clumsily and get past it. But then you might proceed to beat yourself up and worry that something is horribly wrong with your memory, and everyone hates you and maybe you don't belong. Well, that escalated quickly. Brains do that. Maybe we don't need to go digging for the reason or give it any more attention than necessary. Let's just call it...a glitch. We can't explain it. There's no real reason for it other than your brain is under some pressure and brains do weird things when they are under pressure sometimes. Everyone gets glitches and the best thing to do is what my Mac Guy did when my computer got corrupted. Wipe the slate clean and move on as soon as p0ssible so you can give yourself fully to the next moment. Find out more in this episode! Book a Dance Strategy Call ⁠HERE for more help⁠

There is a secret ingredient, that if you add to your dancing, will uplevel it in ways you never imagined. Plus, it's just more fun that way. That ingredient is PLAY. In this episode, share with you the 4 main reasons dancers say they want mental strength coaching and how I think play is an underutilized tool. Taking cues from the book, Play, How it Shapes the Brain, Opens the Imagination, and Invigorates the Soul, but Stuart Brown, MD, we share how play can enhance those 4 areas, plus as a bonus, share his 8 play personalities. Maybe you think you just aren't a playful person or that play means we aren't working hard enough. Well I'd like to change your mind about that. Listen in! Book a Dance Strategy Call ⁠HERE⁠ Books referenced in the podcast: Play, How it Shapes the Brain, Opens the Imagination, and Invigorates the Soul, but Stuart Brown, MD  

If you have ever wanted to better yourself or do anything worthwhile, chances are you have felt that unseen force that seems to immediately get in your way. It's almost like no matter what it is, you have to earn it by getting past the guard. Author Steven Pressfield terms this Resistance. In this episode I cherry-pick some of the concepts from a couple of his books to share in this Life Skills episode. We describe Resistance, identify some of it's disguises or forms, why it's a good sign if you are experiencing it and then what to do to help overcome it.  Enjoy! Book a Dance Strategy Call ⁠HERE⁠ Books referenced in the podcast: The War of Art and Put Your Ass Where Your Heart Wants to Be, both by Steven Pressfield⁠

One of the most common things dancers complain about is being stuck in their head. They know they do this, and perhaps even their teacher tells them they need to get out of their head, but they don't seem to know how. As I have thought about this something came to mind that I think will help with this overthinking problem. I wonder if we haven't quite figured out that a training mindset and a performance mindset are two different things. This becomes evident when we realize our overthinking in performances might be because we are just escalating our training mindset and taking it into a performance space rather that having a different mindset all together. In this episode, we explore the differences and then give you direction on how to cultivate your performance mindset. Book a Dance Strategy Call HERE Pick up The Inner Game of Tennis book HERE

What if you have prepared, practiced and feel ready, but then your performance goes poorly and you are beset with setbacks and errors? What can we do with that to help us remain confident in what we are capable of? Thank you to Nate Zinsser, the author of The Confident Mind for these three strategies to lock down setbacks and move forward constructively. 1. Make it temporary 2. Make it limited 3. Make it non-representative of yourself I explain each of these in this episode. Be sure to listen immediately! To get personalized help, book a ⁠⁠⁠free ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Dance Strategy Call⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠.  These calls will not be free for much longer!! Get it while you can! You should go buy The Confident Mind by Nate Zinsser. It will reveal all my secrets but I don't mind because I know it will help you so much!!

You've done it. You've gotten yourself here. You are ready. This is my pep talk for you on the big day. It's gameday and it's time to shine. You can do this and I'm so proud of you! To get personalized help, book a ⁠⁠⁠free ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Dance Strategy Call⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ For more free mindset help, join my Facebook group, ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Joyful Ballroom⁠⁠

"I don't want to disappoint my teacher." "When this is all done, I don't want to feel disappointed." Disappointment. So many of my clients put themselves through a lot of stress and anxiety in preparation for events, showcases, medal exams and competitions. When we dig a little deeper to see why we are so stressed, many of them end up saying something to the effect of, "I just don't want to disappoint ______." It's usually their teacher, but it also includes themselves. Disappointment must be pretty bad for us to create all this negative energy in preparation for it. But is it? In this episode we speak to two key points when it comes to disappointment. One is that we can't create disappointment in other people. And the second is how we need to make peace with people feeling negative emotion and that nothing has gone wrong if they do. Listen in to see what I mean. To get personalized help, book a ⁠⁠⁠free ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Dance Strategy Call⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ For more free mindset help, join my Facebook group, ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Joyful Ballroom⁠⁠

In this episode we talk a little about The Emerald Ball 2024, dancing syllabus routines in open rounds, what judges say about that, and what to do with your backseat driver. Your backseat driver is the voice in your head that pops up at the most inopportune times and gets in the way of what you are trying to do in difficult moments. Listen in and see if you can relate. To get personalized help, book a ⁠⁠⁠free ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Dance Strategy Call⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ For more free mindset help, join my Facebook group, ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Joyful Ballroom⁠⁠

Where did you get the idea about how much it would take to accomplish a certain goal? Sometimes we look around and make a guess based on what we see, but often we are also REALLY wrong. It often takes a lot more than we thought to accomplish things we set out to do. If you find yourself in this place, you could call it Effort Shock. David Wong brought up this term in his article, 'How The Karate Kid Ruined the Modern World.' It what he named that state when you realize it's not as easy as you thought. It doesn't help that The Karate Kid and Rocky made it look so easy to become so great...all you need is a montage of about 10 minutes. In this episode, we talk about effort shock, define it, give some examples and then discuss what to do now, if you find yourself in this place. We talk about 3 options for going forward: work harder, quit, or make peace with what you are willing to give. Listen in to find out what you might want to do next if you find yourself in effort shock. To get personalized help, book a ⁠⁠free ⁠⁠⁠⁠Dance Strategy Call⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ For more free mindset help, join my Facebook group, ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Joyful Ballroom⁠⁠

There are a lot of reasons that you might feel behind in your dance journey. Most of the time, that feeling is based in fear and scarcity and is largely unproductive for us to dwell on. But there is one type of feeling behind that I think makes sense and will probably always be with you. Listen in to see what I mean. This quick episode might bend your mind a little but I think you are ready for it. To get personalized help, book a ⁠⁠free ⁠⁠⁠⁠Dance Strategy Call⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ For more free mindset help, join my Facebook group, ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Joyful Ballroom⁠⁠

Ah, the extremes. Our brains just love the extremes. Good or bad, hot or cold, perfect or a failure. Two options is what a lazy brain likes because then we don't have to sift through other options. But if you experience a lot of all or nothing thinking, you also likely have some depression, anxiety, or a whole host of other negative experiences. In this episode, I introduce you to all or nothing thinking so that you can identify it in yourself, and then give you 5 steps to overcome it. I think you'll find a more reasonable, 80% gets it done attitude can not only help you feel better and more motivated, but actually still lead to a lot of accomplishment and success. To get personalized help, book a ⁠⁠free ⁠⁠⁠⁠Dance Strategy Call⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ For more free mindset help, join my Facebook group, ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Joyful Ballroom⁠⁠

While we all know that life is sometimes not fair and we will all face a certain amount of struggle and negativity, we will act confused when we actually go through it. We say things like, "Why is this happening to me? What is going on? What is going wrong?" The reality is that life is what I call, 50/50. It's good and bad, hard and easy, fun and not fun, etc. Everything has it's opposite and duality is a fact of life. When we resist what is and think that the negative things shouldn't happen, we actually increase the percentage of negativity that we experience. Your are actually the one giving meaning to your experiences and deeming them negative or positive in the first place. If we can learn that hard things are a part of life, and not resist them, the power they have over us decreases. If can then take it a step further and even embrace the hard things that happen and learn from them, believing that everything that happens in our life is for our good, we actually can increase the positive percent. The 50/50 is what makes life what it is. It's what makes us human. My recommendation is that you embrace it instead of fight it. In this episode I give an example from my most recent competition to illustrate the 50/50. To get personalized help, book a ⁠⁠free ⁠⁠⁠⁠Dance Strategy Call⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ For more free mindset help, join my Facebook group, ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Joyful Ballroom⁠⁠

In episode 92 we imagined situations going perfectly in order to get solid, confidence building mental reps. No mistakes allowed! But we all know mistakes and unexpected things can happen, and it's it best to prepare for them? The answer is yes. There is a time and place for perfect reps and there is a time and place for contingency plans. In this episode, I give guidance on how to do this constructively rather than catastrophize and hope for the best. We incorporate the power of visualization into this as well to further strengthen our ability to carry it out in the moment. You'll feel more confident than ever that you can handle whatever might come up. This means that we don't need to enter performances with so much fear of the unknown. We can rely more on ourselves and trust our ability to come through on the other side, proud of what we accomplish.   Many of the tips in this episode are based on guidance in the book The Confident Mind by Nate Zinsser found ⁠HERE⁠ To get personalized help, book a ⁠⁠⁠free ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Dance Strategy Call⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ For more free mindset help, join my Facebook group, ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Joyful Ballroom⁠⁠⁠ ⁠

Some people call it mental rehearsal, some visualization and others envisioning. Whatever you call it, high performers know it is a powerful tool to increase your level of preparation and even your skills. Since the brain doesn't distinguish between someone happening in real life or if it's imagined, it's your chance to program your mind and body for what you want to execute. In this episode, we talk about what it is but also tips on how to make it more powerful. Then I give an example of what it might look like. The main tips shared are the following: 1. You are in complete control--the director, nothing happens unless you approve it. 2. Make it positive--everything will go well and as planned. 3. Take your time--use pauses to fill in more details to make it more real. 4. Include all your senses-see, hear, smell, touch, taste 5. Include genuine emotion--rehearse your emotions like any other sense. 6. Use the first person or internal perspective--look out your own eyes rather than watching yourself from a distance. Many of the tips in this episode are based on guidance in the book The Confident Mind by Nate Zinsser found HERE To get personalized help, book a ⁠⁠free ⁠⁠⁠⁠Dance Strategy Call⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ For more free mindset help, join my Facebook group, ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Joyful Ballroom⁠⁠⁠

Good grief! Politics in dance! Is there anything in this world that doesn't involve some type of politics? This episode was prompted by a comment on social media where a dancer was lamenting that they could not be successful because of the politics in dance. What a powerless place to be, right? The short answer is to let it go and focus on the things that you can control. But many of us need a little more help letting it go. So in this episode, we bring up some points that will help you come to terms with it and focus on what will really help you...be so freaking good that no one can deny your dominance! To get personalized help, book a ⁠⁠free ⁠⁠⁠⁠Dance Strategy Call⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ For more free mindset help, join my Facebook group, ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Joyful Ballroom⁠⁠⁠

Words are powerful. The way you use them can determine how you feel and the energy with with you operate in the world. As one example, when your brain offers you a lot of thoughts that start with, "what if..." it leads to feelings of uncertainty, doubt, defensiveness, etc. But if you switch "what if" with "even if" then something shifts. Even if...then I can...(or I will..., or I know...). "Even if..." is more empowering and leads to us thinking of a contingency plan. Thinking..."I can't..." could be replaced with "What if I could..." or "I am getting better at..." or "I am working on...." What wording could you switch out to generate more feelings of confidence, calm, strategy, self trust, etc? To get personalized help, book a ⁠free ⁠⁠Dance Strategy Call⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ This week, my Facebook group, ⁠⁠⁠⁠Joyful Ballroom⁠⁠⁠ hit 1000 members! We are celebrating with a giveaway. You should join!

In this episode, we visit some of the ways we hold ourselves back. The primary reason for that is ultimately our brain trying to keep us safe so we can survive the best we can. To do that, we need to avoid pain...even emotional pain. Most of what we try to accomplish today is going to probably lead to some pain, so don't be surprised that you're holding back in those instances. To overcome this, consider that the worst thing that can happen is a feeling. So what if we could just get better at tolerating uncomfortable emotions? Then maybe we wouldn't have to fear or avoid them. In order to put ourselves out there, we have to be willing to feel uncomfortable stuff. And to do that, I think we need a healthy dose of courage. In the last half of the episode we talk about how to get courage and then 7 steps for getting past holding yourself back! Book mentioned in the podcast: The Big Leap, by Gay Hendricks. This week, my facebook group, ⁠⁠⁠⁠Joyful Ballroom⁠⁠⁠ hit 1000 members! We are celebrating with a giveaway. You should join!   To get personalized help, book a free Dance Strategy Call⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠  

In this episode, I bring you a life coaching tool called Emotional Adulthood. Listeners love the podcasts that they can apply to the rest of their lives outside of dance, so this one is for YOU! When we are in Emotional Childhood, we are operating more like children in our emotional lives. It is characterized by a relinquishing of responsibility for how we feel and act. In this state, you would find yourself making other people responsible for how you feel. You are unhappy because your spouse doesn't text you enough during the day. You are angry because your children don't listen. You are fearful because of your parents or your childhood or something else outside of you. It's not that these things don't contribute, they do, but in this episode I teach you how to be an emotional adult, take responsibility for how you feel and act so that you can be the person that you want to be more of the time. In emotional adulthood, we don't have to wait for others to behave in the ways we prefer in order for us to be happy. We take out the middle man. I should warn you though...emotional adulthood isn't easy. But it's worth it and this tool can change your life. Enjoy! For help figuring out this for yourself, might I recommend a free ⁠⁠⁠Dance Strategy Call⁠⁠⁠ If you want a ballroom community with a hefty side of mental and emotional resilience, join my Facebook Group, ⁠⁠⁠Joyful Ballroom⁠⁠⁠

This episode is all about how to actually settle yourself down when your nervous system has been triggered. Often when we stop and try to "take some deep breaths" to help bring ourselves back to reality, it doesn't seem to work very well. Sometimes this is because when we take this approach, we might actually be resisting our emotions rather than processing them. In this episode I give you 4 steps (and an informal 5th step) to give you a framework to help inform your brain that you are actually just fine. Here are the steps: 1. Ask yourself if you are literally safe. (yes) 2. Ask yourself if you FEEL safe (likely not, which is why you were triggered in the first place. 3. Figure out why not (validate why you feel vulnerable) 4. Actively relax tension away in your body (this is where breathwork fits in) The informal step 5 is to check in to see if what we are asking of our self is actually too much. Likely, you are totally capable of it, but once in a while we need to know we have the out if we want it. But really, if you can take courage, you can get through it. Taking these steps before you try to do breathwork makes it far more effective. Listen in for a short-cut to this strategy I offer near the end. For help figuring out this for yourself, might I recommend a free ⁠⁠Dance Strategy Call⁠⁠ If you want a ballroom community with a hefty side of mental and emotional resilience, join my Facebook Group, ⁠⁠Joyful Ballroom⁠⁠

It can't be avoided. At some point, you will have a performance that just doesn't go well. You will have days where your dancing is just...off. Even if you do everything that you can to plan, prepare and mitigate issues, there will be times you just walk away knowing it just wasn't your best dancing. And we have to live with that. In this episode, I tell the story of my recent Nightclub night at a competition and how I just didn't dance well. Then I offer some Dos and Don'ts to help you deal with it and get past it. For help figuring out this for yourself, might I recommend a free ⁠Dance Strategy Call⁠ If you want a ballroom community with a hefty side of mental and emotional resilience, join my Facebook Group, ⁠Joyful Ballroom⁠  

Many of my clients do what they do with their dancing because, "they just want to be a good dancer." But what does that even mean? Often they aren't really sure, they just know it's not what they are right now. Why are we so resistant to believing we are a good dancer? What is the danger in believing that? Maybe it's not even a good idea to wish for this for ourselves, at least not in the way we do it now. In this episode, we talk about why we might not believe we are a good dancer, why we are resistant to changing our mind about that, and take the time to define for ourselves what a good dancer is to us as individuals. For help figuring out this for yourself, might I recommend a free Dance Strategy Call If you want a ballroom community with a hefty side of mental and emotional resilience, join my Facebook Group, Joyful Ballroom

While we all say we want to feel more confident, we spend a lot of mental energy proving to ourselves why we are lacking and not good enough. We rehearse our shortcomings and remind ourselves of the mistakes we have made in the past. I'm not sure why we think it's a mystery that we feel doubtful and lack confidence. In this episode, I teach you what a confidence bank is and how to build it. In short, rather than rehearsing and reminding yourself why you aren't good enough, you need to start taking an accounting of why you are. Mining your life for all the efforts, successes and progress, and then keeping a literal record of it all, is how you get your confidence bank started. Then, as you go through your life and dance journey, teach your brain how to look for and filter out the positive experiences so you can use them in the future to remind yourself how capable, experienced and effective you are. These kinds of experiences generate confidence, energy, optimism and enthusiasm, rather than the negative experiences that we usually catalog. This episode, and the concept of ESP (effort, success and progress) are inspired from the book, The Confident Mind by Eric Zinsser Joyful Ballroom Facebook Group can be found HERE To book a FREE Dance Strategy Call, click ⁠HERE

Have you ever stopped to realize that nothing is really a problem unless you think it is a problem? This is why some things can really bother someone else but not bother you. As I work with clients in my private practice, so many things that we think are a problem are actually just normal development. We just don't like how it's going. But it IS totally normal actually. If we can make peace with things not being a problem, we can reduce the negativity and judgment by at least half. And then all that we are left with is something that we want to improve upon. But the part where we make it a problem, is optional. Plateaus are one of those things that are a normal part of development, that no one can escape, and yet we think we are especially deficient just because we are in one. But plateaus are normal. In fact, while it may seem like nothing is happening in our plateaus, nothing could be further from the truth. The spurts of progress that we experience from time to time are only the evidence of all the work that happened in the plateaus. The spurts aren't the progress...they are the evidence that spilled out when that progress finally hit a tipping point where forward movement and integration can be seen in our efforts. Listen in to hear what is happening in the plateaus that is so important. Let's make peace with plateaus. *This episode was inspired by a section in the book The Confident Mind by Dr. Nate Zinsser. Pick up a copy HERE Joyful Ballroom is a Facebook Group community just for ballroom dancers. Go ⁠HERE⁠ to join and benefit from more free ballroom content To book a FREE Dance Strategy Call, click ⁠HERE

Enjoy this interview with Irene Wong: mom of 3, entrepreneur, and 16 year pro-am competitor! She shares her journey on her YouTube channel, "Everything Ballroom, and co-owns Dancewear Works, a designer dress company supplying dresses and menswear to ballroom competitors. In her words, "I'm on a mission to make dancewear accessible to all." In addition to her love for dance, she is also a proud distributor of Nu Skin products, which we talk a little bit about in this episode. We talk in this episode about choosing a dress, creating a character that can help draw out your Alter Ego, and mindset shifts that can change everything. The Dancewear Works website can be found HERE Go HERE for the Everything Ballroom YouTube Channel Irene's NuSkin website can be found HERE (sign up as a VIP for a 20% discount off retail prices--no charge to sign up!) Joyful Ballroom is a Facebook Group community just for ballroom dancers. Go HERE to join and benefit from more free ballroom content To book a FREE Dance Strategy Call, click HERE

Few people understand what it really means to pursue dancing. We go through a lot of things and it changes us. I can't find the words to describe this episode, so just go listen and enjoy! Merry Christmas! Join Joyful Ballroom Facebook Group ⁠⁠⁠⁠HERE⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ for more help and free content to benefit your dance experience! Book a free Dance Strategy Call ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠HERE⁠ to take charge of your dance mindset for good.

Inevitably, when a client has had a lot of change in a short amount of time, they feel like they are "cured." They feel like they have a handle on their mind and emotions so much better, but then something comes up that triggers them. This is a moment when they think they are backsliding. This isn't true at all. Listen in to this episode to hear how this is totally normal, you aren't backsliding, and in fact, that means you are right where you should be.

We want to be confident, right? But not too confident. Not arrogant. Not cocky. But also I want feel powerful and celebrate my success, but also still be humble. Have you taken the time to sift through all these? You should because if you want to be confident and maximize your potential, you might be holding yourself back in the name of preventing arrogance or trying to remain humble. Listen in for some ideas on this that mostly come from Craig Manning, Mental Strength Coach for BYU athletics. Here are the 5 ideas we bring up in this episode: Arrogance Cockiness Confidence Passiveness Pessimism And then I guess there is one more thing you need to iron out: where Humility fits in with confidence. Let's unpack it in this episode.   Join Joyful Ballroom Facebook Group ⁠⁠⁠⁠HERE⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Book a Dance Strategy Call ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠HERE⁠⁠ Take advantage of the 3-session Coaching Special ⁠HERE⁠ (through Dec 15, 2023)

This episode outlines one way to narrow your focus. It is a continuation of episode 77 and gives you a 3-part framework to narrow your focus---and WHAT to focus on--in situations like practice, lessons and competitions. Before you get to the framework, you must do some data collection, also called evaluation. Evaluating will help you know where to apply your attention. After you have the data you need, apply it to the following framework: 1. Objectives--overarching things we want to accomplish/goals 2. Skillsets--what skillsets are needed to accomplish said objectives? 3. Cues-what 2-3 word phrases can you use to describe the skillsets you are working on? Applying this framework is going to help you feel more productive, deliberate and empowered. You'll also get the added benefit of your progress getting supercharged! Join Joyful Ballroom Facebook Group ⁠⁠⁠HERE⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Book a Dance Strategy Call ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠HERE⁠ Take advantage of the 3-session Coaching Special HERE (through Dec 15, 2023) Get Focused Training Sheet HERE

There are some things that are relevant to your dancing and other things that just aren't. We tend to spend a lot of energy, time and attention on things that aren't relevant and it holds us back, delays progress, exhausts us and distracts from our performance. In this episode we talk about focusing on what is relevant and NOT focusing on what is NOT relevant. A quick list of what is not relevant might include: --the past --the future --other people's actions --other people's thoughts and feelings A quick list of what is relevant to your dance might include: --YOU That's pretty much it. Your thoughts, feelings actions, what you are good at, your emotional regulation, goals, objectives, tasks, skills, self care, preparation, etc. This episode helps you sort them out. The next one will tell you what to do to improve your focus. I also fill you in on my Ohio Star Ball 2023 results, which, spoiler alert, were wildly successful! Join Joyful Ballroom Facebook Group ⁠⁠⁠HERE⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Book a Dance Strategy Call ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠HERE⁠