Humorless Rants Podcast

We were on the YewTewbs again!  Only Bianca and Beth since Kevin was off having a life. We even stuck with a planned set of topics! Season Seven Episode Twelve: The One Before the End The Great Twitter Debate on Cleaning Your Ass This actually happened. Get a bidet, they are awesome. Who doesn’t wash their legs even if they don’t go outside? Update on the Cheato Lawsuits to Stop Oversight Has been fast tracked. Will be heard by a judge appointed by Obama. Contemptuous Democrats Ah yeah *insert that creepy Turk grinning gif here* The Judiciary voted to hold Barr in contempt. We already were to be honest. Still are. Nancy also pointed out that Congress has a jail! The Mysterious Trip to the Ukraine by Guiliani It wasn’t that mysterious. Why can’t the Dems use Chinese hacking again? More is going to come out. Georiga Has Done Lost It’s Mind. Stop trying to out do them Alabama. This bill is bonkers. No seriously, it will have weird repercussions. Ohio Sucks Too.   Tip jar: paypal.me/pools/c/8een1ADhSC  

We did a livestream on YouTube! This is the result.  Hence the terrible audio quality!

Season Seven Episode Ten: REDACTED 1. Redacted. a. Redacted. b. Redacted. c. SUPER REDACTED. 2. Redacted. a. Possibly Redacted. b. Redacted. 3. Redacted Individual a. Redacted Individual b. Tad Redacted c. Stein Redacted. 4. We are all Redacted.

Season Seven Episode Nine Maxine Drags A Man Not like Mnuchin had hair so she used his balls. He did not like that at all. Bill Barr Cover Up He is so bad at claiming that he is not covering up. Also he is bad at investigating. He’s bad. Representative Massie Is Attempting The World Record In Derp Remember, a Bachelor of Arts in Science is not a Science degree Did you know Massie went to MIT? It was during the “Anyone can buy a degree for $19.99. Plus shipping and handling” era apparently. Julian Assange, the Howard Hughes of Poop smearers. Julian is out of the embassy. The cat is okay. Was given away a while ago. The charge is kind of dumb. Illhan Omar Picked Us. So stop threatening her Cheato. Bernie’s taxes. Will we ever see them? Hahaha, no. We also mock his money currently.

Season Seven Episode Eight Campaign Fundraising Roundup-Elizabeth Kamala got the bank. White men drooled over white men. Andrew Yang got what? Subpoenas-Kevin You damn right the House is subpoenaing that shit. Barr is like “Imma let you finish but first.” Tax returns have been requested. Media finds out they were wrong.-Elizabeth and Kevin Did that stop any of them? Of course not. Glenn and Tracey, marriage made in Moscow Election Night Review-Bianca We flipped a seat in PA. We elected a gay Black woman in Chicago. Buttchugging and Anti-Semitism-Kevin Buttchugging is anti-gay. Demanding taxes promised for four years now is not Anti-Semetic.

Season Seven Episode Seven The media overreacts to summaries They claimed he was exonerated. He was not. Glenn Greenwald and Michael Tracey The Dynamic Duo has no idea what is coming “We Won” but really didn’t. Mayor Pete Broke His Probation He wasn’t the only one. O’Rouke is showing his nimbleness Bernie is still canceled. As is Biden Wisconsin Supreme Court Race Gerrymandering was argued. Arizona sucks and here’s why! We had another sex scandal and this one is horrific

Season Seven Episode Six Go watch the live version. Sanders Hires Some New Staff David Sirota is a lying sack of sad Brie is also not good. That campaign manager has no idea what he did. Mayor Pete is Canceled Streisand is REALLY CANCELED No seriously, what the fuck? Mueller Report Time No Collusion No Collusion The Usual Suspects are melting down What will it reveal? And the pee tape Humorless in Milwaukee! Yes, we are going We are going to be delegates.

With Guest Bianca Substitute @chrisdameanor19!   Season Seven Episode Four Bigotry and How Republicans Can’t Even Vote Against It The origin of the problem. Why Republicans still suck even when we screw up. The Happy Ending that Won’t Be Cindy Yang Sex Trafficking by Republicans Which Republican was caught on video? HR 1: When Democracy Attacks Republicans are not happy about this. They think this means they will lose. They are correct. Manafort Sentencing Fuck off Judge What about Jackson? Is it true what he said? Chelsea Manning Drama Queen We still have contempt for her. Reminder, FINAL, about Las Vegas

Elizabeth and Kevin babble on endlessly waiting for Bianca who comes on JUST as we start talking about billionaire sex trafficking.   Season Seven Episode Three Botox Bernie Is Russia paying for his botox? How long do you think it took for the plastic surgery? Why is he lying about being a Democrat? Kraft Magic Sex Trafficking What a horrible person Who is the bigger name? North Carolina Fraud John Harris actually followed the law Mark Harris shouldn’t run again But he will. Should we wildly speculate about the end of the Mueller probe?! Of course we will. Is it or isn’t it? Sentencing memo for Jackson THERE WAS A LITERAL SMOKE FILED ROOM Gag Order for Stone Who else? Reminder about Las Vegas Yeah, I have been slow this week! So sue me.

Bianca made it this time!  Half way through!  But she made it! Season Seven Episode Two Ugh, Sanders is announcing Why doesn’t he GO AWAY How big does your ego have to be… Kamala and the Hot Sauce of Tupac What is ADOS?* Paulie Walnuts and His Lyin’ Lie Ways Did Paul Manafort Lie And what is his proposed sentence? Roger Stone and His Judicial Ball Gag Judge Jackson imposed a gag order But Stone will violate anyway. Wikileaks and the Proof in the Pudding Oh yeah, and some old fart declared a NATIONAL EMERGENCY At the omelet bar. There are 1,000 lawsuits already filed. VEGAS BOUND-Tee Shirts will go on sale this week. Donate to the Paypal. https://www.paypal.com/pools/c/8chF9pvNQA?_ga=1.239791747.1849496925.1547965195

Bianca was ill this week so Kevin and Elizabeth spent more than an hour blabbing their way through a year's worth of news in one week.   Season Seven Episode One Oversight muthafuckas! Did Jefferies wreck Whitaker? Matt Gaetz Needs to Get Kavanaugh Beer What an asshole. News Round Up of All of Cheato’s Lawbreaking Release the transcripts Presidential Primary Follies The campaign logos Yet more people join the race. Klobuchar staff treatment Reminder about Vegas.

Join the Humorless Ranters as they complete this season by ranting about everything they can think of. Season Six Episode Thirteen Remind people about Vegas The Shutdown ends! And who was a very bad boy? Also fuck you McConnell Kamala announces! Also fuck Bernie and his press worshippers. Is Kevin part of the KHive yet? Another indictment! Yay! Roger Stone Just how Fucked Is He? Really Fucked! Reminder about Vegas and the t-shirts.

 sBianca and Elizabeth were back at the misandry again this week since Kevin had to go do supposedly more important things.  But we were very tired since Bianca is working seven jobs and Elizabeth can't get her sleep schedule straighten out! Hence why this was late. Sorry!   Season Six Episode Twelve Reminder about Vegas The Census decision-never piss off a federal judge How this makes Bianca’s life harder. The Burr Hearings, wait no, Barr hearings President done told his bagman to bagman at Congress Why this is interesting. But not surprising. And we can’t wait for 2/7! Also what was up with Mueller’s denial non denial? When Cheato attempts to be petty Don’t try it with Pelosi Reminder again about Vegas!

Season Six Episode Eleven KAMALA IS RUNNING YO! The View, the Book, the Legend And the rest of the The Endless Shut Down The House Passes Everything McConnell is Cheato’s Bitch Presidential addresses Cheato’s sucked. Schumer and Pelosi Sanders sucks Stormy Daniels got more views FBI has decided to check to see if the President is a Russian Agent Nice of you to catch up with us NYTimes Weekend in Vegas

We celebrate Nancy Pelosi's return, I attempt to play way too many snippets, Bianca doesn't understand white people music, and a very poorly played Fuck, Marry, Kill with the latest crop of Presidential candidates.

We take a look back (while Bianca had a nap) of the century that was the past year.  There was quite a lot we missed.

Season Six Episode Seven The Women’s March’s Woes This was all self-inflicted. Nancy Schools Cheato AND Democratic Nit Wits First Cheato Then the Rebel Alliance Michael Flynn’s Sentencing Memos His was self-serving Mueller’s was “Bitch, Please.” That fucking ruling from Judge “I Don’t Know the Law” This was a really bad ruling. He knew it was so bad he didn’t even enjoin the law from working.

All about the sentencing memos-first Mueller/Cohen, then SDNY/Cohen, then finally the pièce de résistance: Mueller/Manafort.  Much like Manafort, it was small and slightly disappointing. Then we talked about Beto Stans and everyone's favorite-Bernie Bashing!

  Season Six Episode Six Oh It Is On-the Stacy Abrams lawsuit Did she just smack their asses or what? Yes she did. Michael Cohen’s Truthiness New Plea! Cheato’s Fucked! Cheato’s Boss is MAD Manafort Is A Rug What happens when you LIE your ass off? While telling your co-conspirator everything? How many lives must a man spend in prison… The G20 Summit We aren’t saving the environment again. When your ex has a new bae Other Miscellaneous nonsense.

Season Six Episode Five Don’t Come For Nancy Pelosi Seriously Don’t She will Fuck You Up Three ways to Sunday Final races that were called TJ Cox and the slow roll Maricopa County Board Power Grab Wisconsin Republicans Mississippi and Hyde-Smith’s White Lady Racism Ivanka’s Email Why You Can’t Lock Her Up For that Reason Anyway Why we shouldn’t impeach Cheato So we can win next time He can’t run against Clinton Random Nonsense

1. The House Results 2. The Senate Results 3. The Propositions 4. The State Results 5. What the Fuck Florida?

We (okay, Elizabeth mostly did since she did all the research) rambled about nonsense involving ghosts that haunted various government buildings around the country.   Pardon on Bianca's sound, we couldn't figure out how to fix it so it broke Ed.  Sorry Ed.

Season Six Episode Two New Pledges! Alaska, the Final Withdrawal Lt. Gov. Resigning Gov. Withdraws Lawsuits: Assange Arpaio Russian Interference Yet another arrest Manafort’s pathetic bid for symphony. Voter Suppression Georgia The most racist radio ad since the 1970s Weekend With Bernie South Carolina   BUY OUR STUFF: https://teespring.com/humorless-halloween#pid=2&cid=2122&sid=front https://teespring.com/humorless-ranter#pid=2&cid=581&sid=front  

Season 6 Episode 1 Arizona Really Is Crazy Hit pieces on Sinema That insane lit piece saying Sinema will cause nuclear war. Republicans commit federal crime, again. Voter Suppression Georgia Arresting Campaign Staffers North Dakota Democrats raise too much money, pundits wring hands Beto’s Amazing Haul Everyone else hauling in cash Republicans have a sad. Kevin’s Theories on Polls It really isn’t that stupid, we promise. Candidate updates from Campaign spotlight BUY OUR SHIRTS: https://teespring.com/humorless-halloween https://teespring.com/humorless-ranter  

Here is the season finale of the Humorless Rants Show absent something spectacular happening next week.  Sorry about the crackling. Season Five Episode Thirteen FUCKING WITHDRAW ALREADY! Kavanaugh and the Fox Interview The Hearing-Dr. Ford The Hearing-Gin Man Did anything else happen this week? Tsunami Elon Musk Charged By the way, there is still an election Georgia numbers Senate

Sorry about the delay folks but Ed the editor had a very exhausting week last week and needed some downtime.  I told him it was okay.   Season Five Episode Twelve Awesome patrons Lisa Talamedge Chris Admin on twitter The Whelan Theory of Sexual Assault Libel? Defamation Republican desperation? Inspector General Michael Bromwich DOJ Garrett Ventry Cohen discussions with Mueller Did you know he talked about the pardon process Cheato has? Ad withdrawals and current rankings of races Jim Knoblach withdraws campaign PA-17, Conor Lamb’s new district Paul Gosar is not welcome to thanksgiving dinner Jason Miller And the Abortion Shake Someone had sex with this guy?! THREE TIMES? When your ex is AJ Delgado.

The sound on this is off since Elizabeth made the mistake of using Chrome and messed up the recording.  Also trigger warning since we do talk a lot about the attempted rape allegations against a Republican nominee for SCOTUS.  This was recorded before the alleged victim came forward through a Washington Post article. Season Five Episode Eleven Is Brett Kavanaugh a Sex Offender 65 Women Magically Appeared to Say No The problem with coming forward to accuse powerful men. He’s Flipper, Flipper, The Flippest Campaign Manager! Manafort’s plea and what it means Who’s next? Not Being Rocked Like A Hurricane Cheato’s 911 Levi that broke The primaries Levi Sanders Cynthia Nixon IDC went down

Season Five Episode Ten Unjustified: Kavanaugh hearings The Ok Controversy Patrick Leahy Knows You Stole Things Kamala Knows What You Did Primary Upsets The one that was and wasn’t Papadopoulos sentencing 14 days Manafort plea deal Kobach and the Grand Jury Chris Hayes Steps in it

We had a guest who does Labor for the Labor Day weekend.  He was very earnest. Erik Loomis at @Erikloomis on Twitter. Season Five Episode Nine Eric Loomis and Slavery NYTimes Op Ed Does this mean that Hillary owned Slaves? The return of strikes elsewhere Erik Loomis and Graves Weirdest Grave Erik Loomis and Book writing What book? John McCain Was Petty As Fuck Funeral One Funeral Two Funeral Three Mueller Plea Number 9 By his books: https://www.amazon.com/kindle-dbs/entity/author/B00PBDN4EA?_encoding=UTF8&node=283155&offset=0&pageSize=12&sort=author-pages-popularity-rank&page=1#formatSelectorHeader

Season Five Episode Eight: Guilty x 16 Cohen Plea Deal Charges Presidential involvement Facing the music Manafort Verdict Hunter Indictment WHAT THE FUCK ARE THESE CHARGES? Russians Are Back Republican fuckery in Georgia and Kansas Russian hacking Kevin’s Screw Up

Season Five Episode Seven: Waiting Is The Hardest Part Law Stuff Manafort Trial Judicial behavior Padopolous jail time Failure to comply Primary Results What group does best? Royal Wedding Retaliatory Behavior Ohr, Brennen Strzok Don’t Trust Omarosa Bianca’s Book On Racism White People On Cake and Pie

Season Five Episode Six Primary Dominance Washington Our Devolution Women Kick Men’s Ass Ohio Kobach’s Kansas Breaking the Law Judge Ellis Miller Collins Bianca had a minor head injury but apparently is doing fine now.

Join Bianca and Elizabeth as they ramble their way through a bunch of nonsense.  Really it is so much nonsense that they can't remember much of what they said. Oh, they did say that men suck.  But that's a given. Spotlight is on https://dg4az.com/.

Season Five Episode Four: Manafort’s A Trial News Roundup Mariia Butina Facebook’s Billion Woes Michael Cohen’s Midnight RecordsShould we make pecker jokes? Paul Manafort Trial Motion Practice Jury Selection Exhibits Witnesses Likely outcome?

That's right. We had guest Chris Reeves @tmservo433 on to tell us how the DNC is purposely rigging the primary against Sanders this time instead of by total happenstance in 2016 by *checks notes* not doing a fucking thing. Season Five, Episode Three Peter Strzok Republicans Democrats Rigging the Primary How do you become a DNC member How do you become a Rules and Bylaw member How do you not punch Zogby in the face? Manafort misbehaving Campaign spotlight Campaign spotlight is Chris's dear friend: https://www.perryforkansas.com/

First 13 Russians were indicted. Then there were 12. And all right before Cheato's latest annual review by the boss!

Season Five, Episode Two Imran Awan Scott Pruitt Speculation about the next one Republican Pedophile Republicans in Russia Talcum X Mueller Michael Cohen’s new lawyers Campaign Spotlight: https://www.biaggi4ny.com/

TRIGGER WARNING: this episode has a frank discussion about suicide.  If you are needing help, please call 1-800-273-8255.  Depression is hard to cope with and it lies to you claiming you aren't wanted when you ARE. Season Five starts with a sputter as the Humorless Trio try to grapple with the week of very negative news involving everything from Kennedy skipping town, the Capital Gazette Shooting to the utter nonsense of Manafort trying to get out of jail. Campaign Spotlight: https://www.almaforarizona.org/

Mourn with us as Kevin explains he got kicked off Twitter but then we enjoyed Scott Walker's worst nightmare happened, talked about how Nevada gets to Pimping, Cheato's business dealing in Korea, and the worst birthday ever for Cheato (Manafort went to jail, he and his entire family got sued, and the IG said that Comey was a key factor in his winning, not his terrible method of campaigning.) Season Four Episode Thirteen Elections Walker’s Nightmare Korea Cheato gives away the store FUCKING COMEY Manafort Goes to Jail NYAG’s lawsuit on the Cheato Charity Campaign Spotlight http://toni4sd.com/

We had a guest again-Jesse the Intrepid Field Reporter! Who does appellate law.  Campaign Spotlight will return next week. Season Four Episode twelve James Wolfe Legal Shenanigans of the Alt Right Cassandra Fairbanks Chuck C. Loser MasterBigot Cake Paulie Walnuts Is Going to Jail Indictment Friday Primary Results Judicial Recalls Top Two Primaries

Sorry about the lateness but you know that the Humorless Trio tend to be enormously talk over each othery and well, we did that this week too.  We also were a disorganized mess like always! Topics: Dinesh D’Souza DOJ IG Campaign Speculation Samantha Bee JoyAnn Reid Roseanne Campaign Spotlight http://denisegray4ky.com/

This week's episode was cursed by Cheato so it is staticy, filled with crosstalk, and Ed the Editor scolded me rightly for it.  Staring guest Josh Holland.  Enjoy! North Korea Fuck Ups Russian Update Lie-Gate Stone’s being really stupid in an email Manafort Hearing Cohen’s Business Battle For New York Racist Rewrite Campaign Spotlight https://www.emmacollum.com/

Join the Humorless Trio and their special guest Karoli as they try to sort through the massive amount of news that was dumped on all of us last week. Yet more law stuff Cohen’s objection to pro hac vic The first criminal referral on Cheato ACLU Money Honey (Attorney Fees) Russia News Dump CAP Ideas Conference: A Special Report By Onsite Reporter, Kevin Houston Kidnapping Mastertweets Theatre

Listen to Elizabeth and Kevin spend forever and a day arguing about the Motion to Dismiss hearing in Paul Manafort's East Virginia District Court because they both are nerds with different views of the law. Bianca had the day off otherwise we wouldn't be so boring. :D Elizabeth still would have used those bad voices. Season Four Episode Eight High Cohens and Misdemenaors Law stuff Inappropriate Judicial ranting Michael Avenatti and his metaphorical bomb throwing DNC lawsuit against Russia and the weirdos who join it Elections and Consequences Democratic Men And the Endless Disappointments They Cause Campaign Spotlight

The Humorless Trio are extra ranty this week, including an extended rant on how best to kill the Republican Party. Topics nominally include the White House Correspondents Dinner, the Mueller Questions (which weren't really Mueller's questions), Cheato's doctor gets goon squaded, and Giuliani's meltdown! Campaign Spotlight: https://www.facebook.com/jodi4iowa/   White House Suck Up Dinner Mueller Questions & Presidential Theft/Subpoena Rudy Guiliani and the Confession that Rocked the Casbah Justice Delayed But Not Denied Bill Cosby Campaign Spotlight Mastertweets Theatre

Comey and Republicans Suck. Again Sean Hannity’s Lawyer Kris Kobach and Related News Teacher Strikes Campaign Spotlight Mastertweets Theatre Campaign spotlight: https://www.beccarausch.com/

As promised, here is our special guest star superhero dude I bribed with $80 scotch to come on Jon Ralston @ralstonreports and the anniversary show! A whole week early even! This was done in a hotel room so the sound isn't that great except for Jon because duh.  Also, one day! ONE DAY, Elizabeth @ahumorlessfem will remember to say Nevada right.  That day was not April 6th. https://thenevadaindependent.com/ https://www.amazon.com/Anointed-One-Jon-Ralston/dp/0929712013 Where to send Glenfidditch to Ralston: message him on Twitter.  

The Humorless Trio start talking about the tsunami of news that hit us. Elizabeth (@ahumorlessfem) is disgusting as normal, Kevin (@newcoolhandle) expresses his love for his bestie Bianca (@bravenakblog) and Melissa (@birdgirl1001) kept us on track. Topics: 1. Cohen The Raided, 2. Testimony before Congress, 3. Ryan The Cowardly Speaker, 4. Comey the Fucking Traitor, 5.Melissa’s New Book, 5. Linda Jack for Florida House 36, 6. MasterTweets Theatre, 7. Bianca's AWESOME NEWS. https://us.sagepub.com/en-us/nam/sage-guide-to-social-work-careers/book260914 https://wonkette.com/author/wonderbitch  

Humorless Trio indulge in their favorite pastime of Bernie Bashing for his decision and twitter gossip to start with.  Then they talk about the Storm that wasn't and Bianca shows her surprising knowledge of Cheato's NDAs.  They end the show by having a serious discussion on the issue of double standards for women in public after discussing Jennifer Palmeri's new book Madam President. Meet up on April 7th!  Be there or be a retancular thing!  5-7 PM since Kevin and Elizabeth are going to go watch cortortions at 8 PM. Campaign spotlight: http://christysmithforassembly.com/ Jennifer Palmeri's new book: https://www.amazon.com/dp/B075QB4RH6/ref=dp-kindle-redirect?_encoding=UTF8&btkr=1  

The Humorless Trio start with the Senate polling numbers, make fun of Heller and McSally while insulting a branch of the US military. Then they jump right into the Illinois primary results including the disappointing loss of Marie Newman. After that they go over the federal nonsense going on with the omnibudget bill and the fact we are all going to die by the appointment of John Bolton.  We also found out that Bianca, a Black woman, is apparently a white supremanist as part of our Twitter Gossip since we all live on Twitter.  Then we make fun of our bad reviews while loving our nice reviews. Campaign Spotlight: https://www.mariformi.com/ April 7th Meet Up at Black Tap Burgers and Beer from 6-8 https://www.venetian.com/restaurants/black-tap.html

The Humorless Trio started their latest season with a roar as they have Lisa Talmadge @lisatalmadge on for the first time.  They start with the latest review on iTunes, then the latest massive flip, Bianca and Elizabeth's attempts to sign up as the new Press flackies of Cheato's White House, Lisa's book and the Clintons' LGBT outreach, yet more lawsuits by Bill Moran with bonus end content, and all of the other nonsense that has happened in the past two weeks! Lisa's Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/user?u=7510616 Campaign Spotlight: https://www.emilysiegristforwi.com/ No idea what is up with the audio with the scratchy.  It may be the multiple people on.  Sorry about it.