MWMB Podcast

Listen: It's all OUTTA CONTROL...  Trump blasts the news media, his cabinet leaks like a sieve.  Jim finds solace in his box-o-wine while Alex looks to the most unlikely hero to save us: A Squirrel from Idaho.  By the way... turning to a squirrel to help Trump out in national security is not a new idea.  We addressed the CIA's use of animals already in our Acoustic Kitty show!  (If you'd prefer to watch, this episode is also on YouTube... https://youtu.be/9NXQuS1m_C8  )

  LISTEN--- NO, WATCH! Jim and Alex are back... we've been experiementing with video, and while the results have been disapointing, we have not managed to break a camera yet.   But, we'll up load em here, too .  Have fun!

LISTEN! Jim the Hammer is back with a (totally non-political) rant for this election hell.   Meanwhile, Alex Geofferies remains mired in government paperwork while Cabbage Patch Geoff is teaching finger painting to owls. ENJOY!

LISTEN!   The rest of the gang is still laid up, so Jim is taking it upon himself to carry on the finest traditions of MWMB BY HIMSELF!!!!  (And then turn it over to Alex to produce)...  this week, the one-man conservative juggernaut skewers our old and bestest friend: North Korean Dictator Kim Jong-Un.  Don't miss it!

LISTEN! With Alex working overtime, Cabbage Patch Geoff recovering from his heroic struggle with the alligator in the kitchen and Jennifer Sargent on vacation in the Ivory Coast- it's been kinda lonely at the MWMB studios. So, The Hammer took it upon himself to spend some time with you, dear listeners, and share a few moments offering a few thoughts of peace and harmony. Enjoy.

LISTEN!This week Jim and Alex are baffled by the latest conspiracies of the right wingnuts.  (As opposed to the left wingnuts, a target for another show.) Is it possible that Obama had Scalia killed?  Is it also possible that Leonard Nimoy has faked his own death in order to don the mantle of president of the Illuminati?  Also, Alex takes yet ANOTHER swipe at Canada, and yet Jim notes that a new "Immigrate to Canada" website has become so popular that the provincial government has had to take over the site.

LISTEN!!Jim and Alex are at it again.  This week we bid a fond farewell to Chris Christie, the only one in the GOP Clown Car who was qualified to drive. Jim gets a new Captain Canuck comic book (apparently, it's for real!)  A poor innocent guy from India makes the history books in a VERY unpleasant way. And Florida explores a new form of currency to replace the dollar.  Take a listen, and see why we called it: "Want Fries With That?"

----more----Listen!This week Jim and Alex learn the the true joy of being middle aged and grumpy is that you are free to be annoyed by EVERYBODY...no matter what political strip.  Plus we reveal a terrorist plot to pack a Kangaroo pouch with explosives, look into Michelle Bachmann's claim that Obama plans to get appointed King of the Word following his term in office...and our salute this week...well, let's just say that this, along with all the other news of the week, just left us shaking our heads saying: What the Heck ???

Listen!This week Jim considers Oregon, dinner escapes from the Cabbage Patch Cafe and causes a panic, Carly Fiorina is doing so bad and, when this kid was pulled over by the cops and asked to show some ID...well, let's just say it happened in Florida and leave it at that.  Plus Trump! And, NASA finds a new planet...so far away from the sun, elections would only happen once in 40 years!  We want to go to there...

LISTEN!This week Jim and Alex learn about a new robot cat, follow the debate in England about not allowing Trump in, ever! And learn that North Korean Dictator Kim Jong Un has made an AMAZING discovery that will change life as we know it.  PLUS Cabbage Patch Geoff is back!  WhooHoo.

LISTEN!Jim the Hammer and Alex Geofferies return for another episode of MWMB. Our first since July 4th.  We'll admit, it takes us a while to get into the swing of things, but with the Presidential race, the upcoming Hall-Murdoch wedding, and the usual dose of criminal insanity from Florida, we've got a lot of material to work with.  Many thanks to NPR commentator, The Origional DB, for what has to be one of the funniest comments all week, and the source of our episode's title this week!  @npr-3014f73c00009f52cdafafb7ef7d93d4

LISTEN!In honor of Jim's Canadian Exile, we celebrate "Canada Day"...This week, as we in America celebrate the Glorious Fourth, which marks the day we violently wrested our independence from our overbearing Mother Country, our Canadian siblings are ALSO celebrating the day when their years of patient waiting paid off, and Mother finally told them it would be okay if they got an apartment with their friends.   Mother always did like them best...spoiled little brats.

Listen!In the last (and yes, best) of our "Fun Sized" Episodes, we talk about two spectacular traffic accidents: a truck load of pigs AND a truck load of sharks.  And, we salute the school teacher who took her class on a filed trip....to a SEX SHOP. 

Listen!Our Third "Fun Sized" episode.  We talk about Computer Generated News Stories, and Cabbage Patch Geoff sums up the week's news (which, because our producer was such a slacker is now two weeks old) into one song!  Whoo Hoo!

LISTEN!In our last "Fun Sized" Episode, we talked about the Poll that says Lord Valdimort is ranking higher than many presidential candidates.   In this episode, we turn our eyes to International Politics.   It seems that Putin has a new toy train- and it packs quite the thermonuclear punch.  Plus, he stands up the Pope.  Finally, we find out how some pasty white people REALLY Pissed off the Malaysian Mountain Gods! Links: HEADLINE: RUSSIA BRINGS BACK NUKE-TRAINS.SOURCE: SPUTNIK NEWSURL: http://sputniknews.com/military/20150606/1023027838.html#ixzz3cVh72vEd Putin Keeps Pope Waiting, Gets Told Off by Francis on Ukraine SOURCE: Bloomberg Business URL: http://www.bloomberg.com/news/articles/2015-06-10/putin-keeps-pope-waiting-gets-told-off-by-francis-on-ukraine DATE: 06/11/15 ANGERING THE MOUNTAIN GODS. SOURCE: Canadian Broadcasting Corporation URL: http://www.cbc.ca/news/world/malaysian-mountain-stripping-2-canadians-2-others-get-prison-time-served-to-be-deported-1.3110576

LISTEN!The team is back with a fresh show (that's been sitting in the can for almost two weeks.)  And, we're playing with a new format...shorter shows more often.  In this episode we talk about one of the first significant Presidential Polls...in which Valdimort is out-polling most of the Republicans, and the Shark from Jaws is out-polling ALL of the Democrats.  Plus, we look back at a story from 2008 in which Hillary spend tons of money on what was perhaps the dumbest piece of political swag in U.S. History.Turn up your speakers and have fun. 

LISTEN- You won't believe what they did to that poor bunny...In Episode 58, Congress Passes the USA Freedom Act and Right-Wingnut Rand Paul and Left-Wingnut Bernie Sanders aren't happy.  Meanwhile the NSA is looking at our grocery lists.Next we take a look at FIFA, Sepp Blatter, Vladimir Putin, and wonder how a sport no REAL American cares about can bring the world to the brink of war.  Cabbage Patch Geoff has a front row seat and sings us song about the latest gathering of Republican Presidential hopefuls..it's called "Clown Car".  In other, non-political events, we learn the results of a British Experiment ...it has monkeys in it, so you know it's fun.  And then, we take note of the Animals who dominated the news- from a Pig in Michigan to a Rabbit in Denmark.  We don't make it up...it comes to us in the news, and we bring it straight to you.It's a good ride, so buckle up and have fun!

LISTEN!  JIM SINGS DISCO!  With Jim the Hammer out celebrating his birthday, Cabbage Patch Geoff sits in this week. He and Alex talk about Texas' psychitzophrenic relationship with the Federal Government.  (Which is also the subject of this week's song.) Because Alex didn't plan on a show this week until Geoff saved it at the last minute, Jennifer Sergeant and the Newsroom team got the week off, but Geoff and Alex still find plenty to talk about, including Penguin Teeth and Themed Funerals. Not to mention the Horror Show that is Denny Hastert.  And DON'T MISS the end...JIM and Alex do a reprise of the singing sailor story from Sweden...and this time, you get to hear the song we couldn't include originally...Jim singing Disco truly should NOT be missed...Have fun!

LISTEN!  TURN ON YOUR SPEAKERS! No, seriously, download this show and turn on your speakers.  While it’s not the best of the best, it’s still got: the OTHER Baby Charlotte, Vladimir Putin on the Cross, a new Poll of American Voters says exactly what you’ve been thinking, a very ironic case of censorship in Israel, and a Bio Bus from England that all of our Presidential hopefuls could really get “behind”! See just why we called this episode: No S *# T !

LISTEN: This was one of the WEIRDEST weeks ever...Download us and press play, because the news from last week was...mind numbingly odd.  Politicians, Right Wing Nuts jobs and ratings hungry media exploit the the victims of the Amtrak crash.  A Swedish Peace Groups puts a gay neon sign underwater for visiting Russian Subs.  You won't believe the job Saudi Arabia wants, and the Police Department in North Adams, Massachusetts?  Well...lets just say, their cells are FULL right now. Come back next week..Plus, Cabbage Patch Geoff scores musically off Governor Skellitor of Florida and Jim The Hammer throws another Penguin on the fire....

Listen! This week, it seems as if EVERYBODY is a "Mile High" one way or the other.  Alex is a mile high after playing the Bernie Drinking game with a campaign email from the Sander's campaign (He was drunk before he got through the first "HUGE" paragraph).   A Russian space station was over a mile high, until it crashed.  The right wing Texas legislature is trying to pass a law making it legal to get a mile high by smoking marihuana, because, well, apparently, God Wants it that way...and EVERYBODY in TEXAS must be High already, since they are signing on in droves to the Jade Helm 15 Conspiracy.  And a couple takes part in a real live Canadian Air Show in their quest to join the Mile High Club!Don't miss this show.

LISTEN: IT'S A HUGE SHOW!Jim is back from vacation. We tackle the Royal Baby and speculate that Queen Elizabeth will not die, but become Robo-Queen, and Alex offers his explanations of why the Americans are so obsessed with the British Royals- it all comes down to our troubled teen years. Cabbage Patch Geoff tackles the Baltimore tragedy. Next, we climb a mountain with Kim Jung Un in North Korea, while a Russian biker gang tries to invade Poland...and THEN: BERNIE RUNS for PRESIDENT!!  Lefties celebrate and MWMB comes up with the perfect Bernie Sander's Drinking Game...you won't sober up until the primaries are over!  And then...we do our weekly salute to a 70 year old man...you'll never believe who he punched in the mouth!Get the podcast app for your IPhone, download us, and enjoy the ride to work and back again..

LISTEN: DAD FILLS IN AS CO-HOST This week, conservative right-winger Jim takes a well-deserved break from the snow, ice and vicious polar bears of Canada. But just because he’s gone, don’t feel that he is forgotten, most of this show is just jokes at his expense.  In Jim’s absence, Cabbage Patch Geoff fills in as co-host.  My Dad and I talk alligators, Hillary Clinton, Ted Cruz and meet a man who got himself tossed back in prison, because he needed the HEALTH CARE!  Plus we meet one of the dumbest rednecks we have yet come across here at MWMB.  Would you try to kiss a viper?   All that, and so much more.  Take us along on your morning commute!

IT'S HERE: EPISODE 51!This week, GOP Senators and POTUS hopefuls  take up arms against the Government...which, uhm, is them, right?  A man from Florida, yes, Florida AGAIN, lands his gyrocopter on the lawn of Congress...he wanted to spark a debate about the profligate spending of Washington...but instead, he sparked a debate in Congress on whether or not they should spend MORE money to protect themselves better.  Putin pays his taxes...being the leader of All the Russias doesn't seem to pay very well...and we salute the late great Ian Gibson...an Ivory Hunter smushed by an Elephant.Cabbage Patch Geoff is back with a song about Ted Cruz, too!  Download us to your smart phone and let us take you on a Sea Cruise! 

LISTEN: Our 50th Show...This week we take a look at the political circus.  SPOILER ALERTS: Hillary is GOING TO RUN! Nobody saw THAT COMING!   Rand Paul announces what his announcement was going to be-- wait for it-- HE is ALSO running for President.  Vladimir Putin outlaws internet memes and the US Senate votes to sell off public lands.  This week's salute is great.  Jim tells us a tense story of Nazi subs, the RAF, and a trip to the bathroom  which went horribly, horribly wrong.  Come, pull up a chair and listen to Jim's Tail of U-1206, the only U-Boat sunk by a malfunctioning commode.

Listen! During this week’s visit with our trio of Grumpy White Men, we pay tribute to Congressman Aaron Schock, or as we fondly refer to him: Representative Schlock, and his Downton Abby inspired walls.  Cabbage Patch Geoff sings a short, but indignant song about the alleged gag order from Florida Governor Rich Scott, forbidding state employees to mention “Climate change”.  Plus, in our title story, we look at Operation Acoustic Kitty- the CIA’s attempt to train cats as spies (no, we didn’t make it up.)  Plus, during this week’s salute to a Scottish Fisherman, we may have stumbled on the answer to the question: Where did Putin disappear to?  Please give us a listen…and, if you can take the time, review us on ITunes.

LISTEN!  THIS WEEK...We stay (almost) completely clear of politics and focus on the odd and the ridiculous.  A  town in Alberta Canada outlaws swearing (and if you think that's BAD, Jim threatens to sing ALL of "Oh Canada").  What would happen to Alex if he were subject to that fine?  Our guess is, he'd be broke.   Time Magazine's Cover is artfully designed to suggest that Hillary Clinton is actually Satin in a pantsuit. Meanwhile, deep in the Heart of Texas, a Conservative Christian GOP Legislator suggests that it's time to Legalize Pot- Jim and Alex Find Religion. Cabbage Patch Geoff protests with song, and Jim uncovers the best come down for an anti-Vaxxer yet. Put a dead Racoon in the microwave, open a beer and sit back with us for a few minutes...

LISTEN:  WE PROMISE, IT'S FUNNY.*  PUT THE BODY IN THE PICKUP TRUCK ( AND BRING IT ON IN )This week: Free Range Parents Update. North Koren Leader bathes in "Knife Shower of Justice".  Idiot in NJ proclaims "White History Month" (Even the Conservative and the Liberal agree on this...this guy is a dumb-ass.) Cabbage Patch Geoff sings an ode to Senator Inhofe.  And not one, not two, but THREE criminals vie for our "Stupidest Moron In the News" weekly Salute... Folks, please don't miss "Put the Body In the Pickup Truck".Download us to your iPhone, we promise it will be a more fun commute.*Use of the term "promise" does not constitute a binding guarantee.  See store for further details.  Ask your doctor if MWMB is right for you.

LISTEN!  This Week- A Snowball Fight on the Senate Floor.  Global Warming completely debunked…  This week, Cabbage Patch Geoff (uber liberal) gets revenge-through-song on arch-conservative, Jim the Hammer.  Despite the gangland style killing of his rival, Vladimir Putin selflessly promises to “personally” take charge of the murder investigation.  Here at home, Scott Walker tells us that, after vanquishing the Kindergarten Teachers Union he is ready for ISIS. One of Obama’s cabinet puts his foot in it. Meanwhile, snowball fight breaks out on the floor of the United States Senate, and Alex issues a cry of despair – will he EVER grow up to be a REAL Republican Middle Aged White Male, or will morons like Walker and Inhofe keep forcing him back into the liberal herd?  Plus, a Vulcan Salute.  Crack open a beer, turn up the sound, give us a like and share, and enjoy this really ridiculous but heartfelt podcast.

LISTEN!  It’s a Double Header this week. All our favorite Villains in one place! In this week’s audio podcast: Anytime the boys know they can put Putin and Strauss-Kahn in the same show, they know it’s going to be a good week. Plus, the Wandering Hands of Joe Biden. Plus, Kim Jong Un’s new plane…Jim wants to call it Air force Un.  Governor Scott “I ain’t got no Education” verses Howard “The Scream" Dean.  Anti-Vaxxer Rand Paul makes a big announcement…about a big announcement.

LISTEN!  Y'All won't BELIEVE where we found the Raccoon! In this week's audio podcast, Jim the Hammer is hyped up on cold medicine, which apparently is for sale now in 55 Gallon Drums. The Costa Concordia Captain goes to the brig...we're afraid he'll be skipper of the prison garbage scow within six years.  John Boehner says something, and Iowa Republicans think Joni Ernst, the Bread-Bag-Wearing-Pig-Castrating US Senator has what it takes to be POTUS!  The anti-Vaccination cause gets taken to its (ill)Logical extreme, and Raccoons show up in a pretty unexpected place...the frozen food section.  Don't Miss MWMB this week!  Links to original sources are in the show comments...

Everybody knows that Putin is this show's hands down favorite, but this week the boys celebrate the return of our second favorite creepizoid, Dominique Strauss Khan. We head to France to peak in on his rape/prostitution trial. We also wonder at the inanity of Senator Thom Tillis, and his assertion that government regulations requiring restaurant employees to wash their hands after using the bathroom is oppressive and unnecessary. Another darling of the Republican Fringe, Rand Paul, said that he has known of cases where children wind up with mental disorders after getting a measles shot. Geoff has a great song about the Koch Brothers, and Jim decides that the world’s finest leader right now MIGHT just be Jordon’s King Abdullah.

This week: Michelle Obama in Saudi Arabia, Bart the Cat, Dogg the Plow Driver and more.This week, the boys start off...well actually, that proves to be a lot harder than you'd think...talk about Michelle Obama in Saudi Arabia, watch while John McCain calls the cops on a bunch of hippies, wonder if Bart the Cat might be the best choice for president, and think about who THEY would bury if THEY could drive a snow plow.   All this, plus a new anti-Reagan song from Cabbage Patch Geoff on this week's episode of Middle Aged White Men Bitching.

The boys take on democracy’s great pageant: the State of the Union Address.  Alex is thrilled that Obama finally manages to close the barn door (after the horse has escaped and voluntarily checked into the glue factory). Speaker John Boehner experiences the ultimate Maalox moment. And are we the only ones who watched Senator Joni Ernst’s tight lipped grin, robotic response and thought of Nurse Ratched?  Also: Hillary does a (bad) Putin imitation, a husband bulldozes his wife’s house, and Jim comes up with this week’s salute to a British Birthday boy…  Put us on your IPhone and pretend you have friends for a while…that’s what we do!WE DIDN’T MAKE IT UPJONI ERNSTPig Castrator https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p9Y24MFOfFUSOTU Response https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JhMvkog_OBkFarm Subsidies http://www.rawstory.com/rs/2015/01/sen-joni-ernsts-family-actually-received-more-than-460000-in-federal-subsidies/HILLARY/PUTINhttps://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sbYC3_07d1oBULLDOZERhttp://www.nbcnewyork.com/news/local/House-Demolish-Woodlawn-Middletown-James-Rhein-Police-Wife-Bulldozer-289199611.htmlBIRTHDAY BOY INVOICEhttp://www.bbc.com/news/uk-england-cornwall-30876360

This week, Jim (Right Wing) and Alex (Left Wing) check in at a “Muslim Free” gun range, ponder the notion of “Free Range Kids”, and Salute a school principal who urges her kids to through canned food at school invaders.  Plus, Cabbage Patch Geoff joins us for a song about the new Republican Congress… Download us and play us in the car on your iPhone, on your computer, or whatever…but don’t miss your weekly dose of American Style Crazy…right here on M.W.M.B.   READ MORE: We don’t make this up…here are the links:   “Muslim Free” Gun Range http://www.washingtonpost.com/news/morning-mix/wp/2015/01/14/lets-check-in-with-the-muslim-free-gun-range-in-arkansas/   Free Range Parents http://www.washingtonpost.com/local/education/maryland-couple-want-free-range-kids-but-not-all-do/2015/01/14/d406c0be-9c0f-11e4-bcfb-059ec7a93ddc_story.html   Hillary Coloring Book http://www.washingtonpost.com/blogs/the-fix/wp/2015/01/12/there-is-now-an-anti-hillary-clinton-coloring-book/   Canned Food http://abcnews.go.com/Weird/wireStory/principal-seeks-food-cans-defend-school-intruders-28191214

The boys go full circle this week.  They start off depressed and disheartened over  the senseless violence in Paris, France where the rights to free speech come under attack by crazed maniacs,  and  arrive back home in Maryland, where a stupid moronic politicians gets absolutely SCHOOLED in what Free Speech means.  Along the way, Alex (the liberal) goes through a dark night of the soul as he is tempted to give into hate, and Jim (the conservative) deliverers a pretty damn good "we are all human" speech.   Also, Putin's Christmas Tree, Congressional Hula Hoops, and John Stewart's Nazi Cows.Have fun..READ MORE ABOUT IT:Ahmed the CopI am not Charlie, I am Ahmed the dead cop. Charlie ridiculed my faith and culture and I died defending his right to do so. #JesuisAhmedhttps://twitter.com/aboujahjah/status/553169081424420864Putin's Christmas Tree: Europe's Far Right & Putin get cozyhttp://www.npr.org/blogs/parallels/2014/12/26/371670726/europes-far-right-and-putin-get-cozy-with-benefits-for-bothUS Congress: Raising Hourly Requirement for Insurance Coverage http://www.npr.org/2015/01/08/375799660/congressional-republicans-take-another-swing-at-obamacareand DON'T MISS: KIRBY DELAUTER in the Fredrick News Post...http://www.fredericknewspost.com/news/politics_and_government/kirby-delauter-kirby-delauter-kirby-delauter/article_da85d6f4-fa3c-524f-bbf6-8e5ddc0d1c0a.html

You won't BELIEVE how the Donkey dies.  Cohibas for EVERYBODY! Cuba is FREE (to visit).  Sony needs to grow a pair.  The return of Cabbage Patch Geoff.  Plus:  Is Valdamir Putin actually a robot?   And we get to listen to a short sample (fair use anyone?) of former policeman Jim's FAVORITE Xmas tune...  So download it to your Iphone, listen to it on that long sleigh ride to Grandma's House. 

Two average, everyday guys read the news of the day..and choke.  This week: Christopher Lee Sings a Heavy Metal Christmas.  Farmers bring their Sheep to the Effiel Tower. The USA unleashes the POWER of HIP-HOP on an unsuspecting Cuba. Chinese men feel the pains of giving birth.  And, of course, somebody slips Santa some spiked brownies... You DON'T want to miss this Show.   (PS- only ONE of these stories is not true)

The boys from MWMB break their two year silence and return to the control booth.  Jim's on the Left, Alex is on the Right....oh, no, wait, reverse that.  Both of them are FED UP with politics in America...in this show...the war on Christmas, Putin's Tiger, America's bright future...

A show from August of 2011.  I think this was the first time we used the song "I want a man like Putin" which has become a running joke on the show.

THROWBACK THURSDAY.April 7, 2011.  Our second show...Jim has not yet acquired his "Hammer" moniker...we're still trying out different names.  This week, he is Dangerous Jim.  This episode is also noteworthy in that we debut the What Have You Got to Lose Political Party.  Also, Commit the Conservative Wonder Dog makes his first appearance on the show.  Jim and Alex debate student loans. A little blast from the past...

Our First Show from back in March 2011... three years down, but very little in American Politics has changed...AT ALL!