Pursue What Matters

Hello! I hope you've had a wonderful summer while I've been away! I'm excited to get back into a new season of the podcast with you. One thing that's been a theme for this podcast, and my life, is that we should always be learning. So on this episode, I wanted to share 5 things I've learned since last season. Thanks for listening!

It's been a long road to get to 252 podcast episodes, and all I can say is thank you! It's been a great journey, and there's plenty more journey ahead of us. Our journey is going to look a little different moving forward: I'm excited to announce that I'll be releasing podcasts in seasons, just like many of your other favorite podcasts.  Follow along with me on Instagram at @dr.melissasmith for updates on the new seasons, and daily posts about the latest in leadership research.  So long for now, and remember: love and work, work and love, that's all there is. 

What do the most successful couples do, and what do they avoid? Join me today as I review The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work by John Gottman, PhD, who's taught us the most about making marriage work.    This podcast will help you: Learn the secret weapon of successful marriages Understand the 7 principles to making marriage work Identify one key way to strengthen your relationship 

Attachment style is based on attachment theory, a very useful theory of human development that psychologists have been utilizing to better understand how humans function in relationships. Join me today for a review of attachment style, learn more about your attachment adaptation, why attachment matters in work and love.    This podcast will help you: Identify attachment styles  Learn how attachment theory applies to love and work Understand how early attachment relationships impact present-day functioning 

We all want deep, enduring love, but how many of us actually achieve that? Today, we're talking about true intimacy, what it is, and how to get it in your life.    This podcast will help you: Understand what whole love is Learn healthy selfishness Find true intimacy in your relationships

Do you have a quiet ego or a noisy ego? We all know people whose ego walks into the room before they do. A quiet ego is self-assured but always makes room for others.    This podcast will help you: Understand what ego means Identify different components of an ego Learn how a quiet ego doesn't mean a silent ego

As we step into February, the month of love, here's a thought to ponder: do you consider yourself a loving soul or a bit of a prickly pear? More importantly, what do others perceive, and can you see yourself clearly?   Join me today as we kick off the month by taking a moment to look in the mirror. This podcast will help you:   Discover that the key to well-being is the ability to love others unselfishly Reflect on how loving you are Learn why loving people are high in both agency and communion

Have you ever wondered if you're living up to your full potential or just sliding by? How can you even tell? Join me as I review Hidden Potential by Adam Grant, packed with the latest research on discovering your hidden potential. It's an eye-opener that might reshape your perspective.   This podcast will help you: Discover that everyone has hidden potential Learn how to unlock your hidden potential Identify key character skills to fulfilling potential 

Curious about what happens during Ketamine-Assisted Psychotherapy? Wondering how it works and how it addresses mental health concerns?    Join me as I continue the conversation into the process of Ketamine-Assisted Psychotherapy, unraveling its intricacies and exploring its impact on mental well-being.   This podcast will help you: Learn what to expect during ketamine therapy  Understand what treatment looks like Identify common experiences during ketamine treatment

www.drmelissasmith.com/245-whatisketaminetherapy

Life has challenges, growth opportunities, and trials that will bring you to your knees. But are you awake to all life has to offer?    Join me today as I invite you to abandon numbing, embrace perspective, and be aware of the profound ways life is calling to you.    This podcast will help you: Abandon numbing as a way of waking up to life Embrace perspective to learn life's most meaningful lessons Be aware and mindful to better answer life's call

I track my years by the books I read, and so it's the perfect time to share with you some of my favorite 2023 reads. Join me on the podcast as I give you some top picks in literary fiction, health, history, memoir, and self-development.    This podcast will help you:  Discover new reading genres and authors Develop perspective about life through the eyes of others Commit to positive health practices for greater well-being 

It can be so frustrating to discover you're caught in another trap of your own making. Learning to ask the question "Why does this keep happening?" can be the first step to greater self-awareness. Learn to side-step traps and cycles that keep you stuck.    Tune in today to learn how to be awake and alert in your life and decision-making. Don't let unconscious patterns take you down.    This podcast will help you: Identify signs that you might be living life on autopilot  Learn how to disrupt ineffective patterns Understand unhelpful patterns and vicious cycles

As humans, we have an unconscious life and a conscious life. Think of your conscious life as the top of the iceberg and your unconscious life as the base of the iceberg beneath the surface of the water.    Most of us are clueless about our unconscious life but fail to appreciate how life under the iceberg drives emotions, thoughts, and behavior in powerful ways. It's time to uncover the iceberg through self-awareness. Join me.   This podcast will help you: Cultivate self-awareness to better understand life under the iceberg  Utilize curiosity, compassion, and slowing down for greater consciousness  Understand why self-care is often the path that leads to self-awareness 

Are you overly protective of your children, constantly fretting about their decisions? Maybe you think this is good, responsible parenting.    Think again. Tune into today's podcast to learn about the dangers of helicopter parenting, how good parents are vulnerable to over-parenting, and why you should give your kids space to fail.    This podcast will help you:  Learn what a helicopter parent is Identify the dangers of over-parenting  Develop perspective about the gifts of failure, figuring things out, and well-being 

Did you know that, in addition to self-regulation skills, humans benefit immensely from co-regulating with others? You may have a strong toolbox of self-care activities, and that's great. But did you know secure attachment can make a huge difference in your well-being?    This week on the podcast, I'm making the case for secure attachment and well-being.  Join me as I review The Power of Attachment by Diane Poole Heller.   This podcast will help you:  Understand attachment's role in relationships Identify your typical attachment style and what you can do to become securely attached  Learn how secure relationships help you grow

Please tell me you are a reader. Reading connects you to humanity. You see what is true for all of us, even though we are so unique; you see that your problems are not new; you see familiar patterns and potential solutions to your challenges. Reading offers perspective.    Join me on this week's podcast to explore the benefits of reading.   How reading can help you:  Broadens your perspective and connections Continuous growth fuels your adaptability Boosts knowledge and leadership skills

Are you able to embrace distress in the face of uncertainty?   We often find ourselves seeking quick solutions, numbing our emotions, and avoiding the discomfort that comes with facing our pain. We like to think that we confront our pain head-on and are adept at managing our emotional experiences.    However, when life hits us with distressing emotions, many of us instinctively turn away. Join me on this week's podcast to discover how you can develop the resilience to tolerate your own distress and why this is vital for unlocking your full potential.   This podcast will help you:  Learn what it takes to never give up  Identify how persistence helps you succeed despite challenges  Increase your distress tolerance and resilience 

Do you have a scarcity mindset, where you fear that you aren't good enough?   Or do you approach life from an abundance mindset or the belief that you are enough, that life is good, and that you have what you need to be successful? Do you believe that you can be prosperous and that you have the time you need to take care of the things that matter most?     Mindset can have powerful implications for the way you operate in the world.     This podcast will help you: Learn why a scarcity mindset comes from fear while an abundance mindset comes from a belief that you are good enough Identify how an abundance mindset can bring hope and trust in life  Accelerate growth through abundance 

Leaders are not meant to have all the answers, and their ability to approach life humbly can be one of their best qualities for leadership.   Asking the question “What can I learn here?” Will not only open you up to growth, learning, and development, but it will make it more likely that others will come to you for guidance and with answers that you need to lead more effectively.     Join me to learn why investing in growth can set you apart from others.    This podcast will help you:  Invest in growth as a way of increasing skills Ask “what can I learn here” as a way of cultivating humility   Be curious about the world around you

www.drmelissasmith.com/234-managingyourself    

Learning to trust yourself is an important goal in life. But how does that happen? As you quiet yourself and tune into intuition, trust builds. Intuition is an important way of knowing, not the only one. But when we disregard intuition, we often undermine ourselves.    Getting quiet and curious is the key to cultivating intuition.    This podcast will help you:  Learn what gets in the way of trusting yourself Quiet yourself in order to hear how intuition speaks to you Identify the value of intuition for decision-making 

As a leader, you may be more accustomed to giving help, but the ability to accept help is just as essential to a life well-lived.     It is an act of humility and vulnerability to accept help, and will connect you to others. If you want to be more competent and experience more joy in daily life, you should ask for help.   This podcast will help you: Learn how accepting & appreciating help will bring more joy to your leadership Accepting help as a way of overcoming perfectionistic strivings  Recognize the value of give and take in relationships 

We live in a society obsessed with overcoming our weaknesses. While there may be some value in looking at your challenges, research shows that your time and energy will be much better spent focused on developing your strengths.  In other words, don't spend much time trying to overcome your weaknesses—this will be a less effective use of your time!  This podcast will help you: Identify your strengths Learn why team members should play to their strengths When adding to your team, avoid replication of strengths that already exist on the team

We all undermine ourselves at times, whether we recognize that fact or not. Self-sabotage is one of the sneakiest ways we get in our own way, yet if we lack awareness, knowing how to help ourselves can be challenging. This week, I will review Brianna Wiest's book, The Mountain is You.   This podcast will help you: Identify self-sabotage in yourself and others Learn how you might be engaging in self-sabotage  Understand your triggers as your guide to freedom

Is it possible to be critical of yourself yet compassionate toward others?    This is a challenging issue for many of us, especially women who spend so much of their lives giving to others yet being quite self-critical. This week on the podcast, I want to look at how self-compassion creates the best foundation for strong relationships and compassion within your community.     Join me today as I discuss how to nurture your relationships for a better life.   This podcast will help you: Learn about women, compassion & the double bind Understand the power of authenticity & wholehearted living Choose connection over comparison & competition

I've got a question for you: Where are you headed in life? Do you know? Do you care? Purpose can be a big, gauzy topic, but today I want to help you get practical about purpose and see how understanding purpose clarifies life. It makes all the difference in thriving vs just surviving.    This podcast will help you: Clarify your purpose Identify daily priorities that keep you aligned with purpose   Ask key questions to gain clarity about life direction 

Owning your story is about taking complete responsibility for every aspect of your life. This sounds straight-forward, but believe me, it can be harder to do in actual practice. As humans, we are master storytellers. We love devising elaborate stories about how we've been wronged and why we can't take responsibility for our lives. And some of these stories may even be true.    But here's the thing: You must still take complete responsibility for every aspect of your life. Join me as we explore what it means to own your story.      This podcast will help you: Discover why owning your story is essential for growth Understand the difference between your story & reality Learn the skill "the story I'm telling myself" 

As children, we were all afraid of something, the dark monsters under the bed, the principal. As adults, the subject of our fears may shift, but we still have fears. This week I will review Meera Lee Patel's book, My Friend Fear. It's time to get more acquainted with your friend, fear.    This podcast will help you: Understand the role fear has in your life  Learn to befriend your fear Discover why fear is essential to growth

We grow in the process of facing our fears. There is no other way. It's like exercising a muscle. The muscle becomes stronger through the breakdown of the muscle tissue. It isn't a pleasant process, yet it is the process of growth and development. Join me on the podcast to learn more about the process of growth.  This podcast will help you: Learn the FOUNDATION acronym for self-leadership Discover why presence of fear is not what matters, but your response to fear means everything Achieve success by facing fears 

Did you know the quality of your eating can impact your effectiveness at home and work? Perhaps you know it's important to get something to eat, and you even know that what you eat matters, but did you know that how you eat also makes a big difference?   This podcast will help you: Learn the signs of unbalanced eating Remember the basics of balanced eating Identify the benefits of intuitive eating

What does it mean to truly renew? Does it require two weeks on a deserted island? Well, while that sounds very nice and would indeed be renewing, you don't need weeks away from your life in order to renew. And in fact, adopting daily practices of renewal can make all the difference in your well-being.    This podcast will help you: Learn why renewal is essential to sanity and well-being  Improve your sleep Prioritize physical, emotional & mental recovery consistently 

Are you constantly plugged in? Either with work, email, screens, or multitasking? Maybe it's time for a pause. I promise that by learning to unplug, even in small amounts, you will experience greater well-being. Join me as we discuss how you can unplug to benefit your life.   This podcast will help you: Learn how to unplug effectively  Overcome the guilt of unplugging by tapping into its benefits Identify specific ways to unplug consistently

Not too long I reviewed a book, Radical Acceptance, which is all about learning to accept rather than resist reality. Well, I'm back this month with that book's companion, Radical Compassion, by Tara Brach, PhD. It's so good. Join me to learn more.    This podcast will help you: Identify how compassion can help you harness both mindfulness and compassion in moments of distress Learn how compassion includes accepting vulnerability See how you can nurture yourself with gentle comfort and compassion

Do you consider yourself a creative, or do you defer to others when it comes to innovation? As humans, we are all creative, and engaging creativity is core to being a human. Join me on the podcast as I discuss why creativity can show up in so many ways, and is really about giving yourself permission to explore and think outside of the box.     This podcast will help you: Understand why creativity is essential to a secure foundation of self-care & self-awareness  Identify ways you engage creativity at home and work  Stop over-scheduling so you can make room for creativity 

In my life as a psychologist and leadership coach, I tell those I work with that there are two no-brainers that everyone should be doing to help themselves, and that they shouldn't even consider more substantial interventions until they are doing these two things consistently:     1 - Balanced Movement 2 - Mindfulness Practice   Join me on the podcast to learn how balanced movement can strengthen your well-being.   This podcast will help you: Learn why exercise will do more to keep you mentally & physically sharp than almost anything else you can do  Identify types of exercise for balanced well-being  Understand the many mental & physical benefits of exercise

Spirituality cultivates meaning and moves us toward purpose-driven living. The spiritual life can shift us out of our anxious navel-gazing so that we can take in the grandeur of life and relationships. The spiritual life is the path of peace and purpose and makes you a better leader.    Tune into today's podcast with me to learn why you need a spiritual practice to strengthen your leadership.    This podcast will help you: Learn how you can build a secure foundation of leadership  Understand the definition of spirituality Identify how spirituality can strengthen your leadership 

We live in a world designed to distract us from what matters. Mindfulness is an invitation to climb against forces designed to keep you distracted, stressed, and numb to the beauty of life. Join me as I discuss Neurodharma, a new book by Rick Hanson, PhD book. It's designed to help you bring mindfulness into your life in simple ways and explains the neuroscience of this process.     This podcast will help you: Learn seven practices of the highest happiness Identify how you get caught in monkey mind Understand the importance of mind-body connection

Self-leadership is a way of life and is all about how you show up to life. It's focused on how you DO life. The way you live your life is your best example and most important legacy.     This podcast will help you: Remember that self-leadership is a marathon, not a sprint Understand the role of consistency Learn why consistency should be flexible, not rigid

As a leader, you need to be the calm in the storm. You've got to be able to slow yourself down when faced with many stressors, uncertainty, and others looking to you to lead, make decisions, and provide certainty to them. Curiosity helps you overcome primitive hardwiring for extreme reactions in the face of uncertainty and stress. Curiosity allows you to harness the power of presence to respond mindfully rather than impulsively.     This podcast will help you: Learn how curiosity helps you harness the power of presence  Tell the difference between emotions & feelings  Identify the characteristics of curiosity

As humans, we are hardwired to simplify decision-making and move to extremes with our thinking when stressed and facing uncertain situations. When stressed, there is a tendency to react to the extreme. Join me on the podcast as I discuss what gets in the way of curiosity.   This podcast will help you: Learn the distress & externalizing behaviors How detachment & internalizing behaviors work About the impact of numbing emotions

You can have all the tactical leadership skills in the world, but if you don't have self-awareness, no one will want to be led by you.   Tune into the podcast as we discuss the importance of leading with curiosity. We will dive deep to ensure you have what you need to Lead yourself and others well.     This podcast will help you: Why curiosity is essential to leading confidently Understand the demands of self-leadership Why self-care cannot be sacrificed

When facing life's challenges, do you feel like you're battling uphill? Maybe you feel like you've tried everything to slay your demons. Join me as I review Tara Brach PhD, book Radical Acceptance, to learn what's so radical about radical acceptance. This podcast will help you: With strategies to manage the pain of inadequacy Learn the wings of acceptance Be attuned and aware of the cues of our body

To succeed, we need to get delegation right, but most of us have no clear process for ensuring we delegate effectively in order to drive better results. A clear process pins down task ownership, communicates why a task matters and what it entails, and, perhaps best, it empowers teams to bring autonomy and skill to task execution.  Tune into my latest podcast to learn how having a clear delegation process can be a game-changer for your teams.  This podcast will help you: Learn a simple communication & collaboration process for better results Identify when a delegation process is needed  Understand the value of a strong accountability chain

The best teams get more done through effective delegation. Leaders who fail to delegate fail to develop their teams. This week we will continue our conversation about delegation. We will learn 3 common delegation errors and what to do about them. This podcast will help you: Identify 3 common delegation errors Learn how effective task assignment accelerates team effectiveness and efficiency  Improve process management 

Tell me I'm not the only one. Delegation can be so challenging and yet it is critical to effective leadership. If you tend to be a control freak or wear perfectionism as a badge of honor, delegation may be your last resort at work.  Join me this week to learn more about how to delegate and why it really matters. Your future self will thank you. This podcast will help you: Learn how failure to delegate leads to three specific failures at work Understand why delegation can be challenging and what to do about it Challenge unhelpful beliefs that keep you from effective delegation 

If you've been listening to the podcasts recently, you know we are experiencing a loneliness epidemic. As humans, we are hard-wired for connection and yet too many of us feel alone and adrift even if we can name folks we love and care about. Today, I've got an excellent new book to share with you Plotonic, by Marisa G. Franco. It's all about how understanding the science of attachment can help you be a good friend and have good friends.    This podcast will help you: Identify your needs in relationships Understand how friendships transform our lives Develop specific practices to help you make good friends

We've been taught that fitting in is the name of the game if you want love, affection, and connection. Ironically, however, these efforts lead to the exact opposite outcome: loneliness and disconnection.    Join me on the podcast to learn the difference between fitting in and true belonging.    This podcast will help you: Identify how belonging requires our basic safety needs to be met Learn why individual needs to belong vary greatly Focus on activities that cultivate belonging 

Our society is experiencing a loneliness crisis, which carries high costs for health and well-being. Loneliness is a natural outgrowth of not feeling a sense of belonging. It's the experience of feeling lonely even when surrounded by people you know and care about. Today we'll explore fitting in as a false substitute for belonging.    This podcast will help you: Understand why fitting in is a poor substitute for belonging See why fitting in may be killing us as a society Learn the different ways we try to fit in

What does it mean to have a life well-lived? No, it's not money, power, looks, or influence. Join me on the podcast as I discuss what 40 years of research points to.   This podcast will help you: Understand the research of "what makes life worth living" Learn 13 sources of well-being Clarify that well-being doesn't mean you're happy all the time

We all want to reach our potential, but it can be challenging. Join me as I review Transcend by Scott Barry Kaufman, an excellent book about the new science of self-actualization.   This podcast will help you: Learn how to reach your potential Understand two categories of human needs Identify why purpose is essential to your potential