RNZ: BANG!

Sex positivity is the idea that all sex, provided it's healthy and explicitly consensual, is good. But what happens when a complicated theoretical idea like sex positivity gets packaged up for the mainstream? And which voices are missing from the conversation?

What you think of as kinky and what I think of as kinky might be two different things, but it generally means behaviours and fantasies outside of the sexual 'norm'. In this episode, Melody talks with a bunch of kinky people about what gets them off and why, learns some great lessons about consent and asks the question - is it best we brought these practices out in the open, or are they best left behind closed doors? 

It's a BANG! takeover! RNZ Nights host Bryan Crump is joined in the studio by Melody Thomas and father-daughter sex advice duo Nic and Lena Beets, to answer questions from the audience and talk about common difficulties faced by people in long term relationships.

Recorded at Bats Theatre in Wellington as part of the NZ Fringe Festival, this is BANG! Live. Featuring Tawa mum and sex toy expert Abby Lund, Morgana Watson on menstruation in Te Ao Maori prior to colonisation plus how to use your cycle to your advantage, and father-daughter sex and relationship advice duo Nic and Lena Beets answer audience questions.

Ethical non monogamy is nothing new - but an increasing number of people are giving it a go. Research from the US reports that 4-5% of people identify as polyamorous, and 20% have tried a version of ethical non monogamy at some point in their lives. Here in NZ, memberships in polyamory Facebook groups and on websites like nzswingers.co.nz continue to grow. Melody Thomas speaks with ethically non-monogamous kiwis about how they manage their relationships, and experts offer some advice.

In Sex At Dawn: The Prehistoric Origins of Modern Sexuality, co-authors Christopher Ryan and Cacilda Jetha take what they call the "standard narrative" of human sexual evolution and re-examine it through a different lens: suggesting that sexual exclusivity was not a part of our ancestor's expectations around relationships. Highlighting research in the fields of primatology, anthropology, evolutionary psychology and biology, Christopher Ryan tells Melody Thomas that monogamy is far from "natural" for our species, and that we'd have a much easier time with it if we went in informed.

We all know how it goes - two people meet, they fall in love, they decide to get married and live happily ever after. We've heard different versions of this story so many times, many of us never stop to ask if it's what we want for ourselves, or whether there are other options. In this episode, author of Sex at Dawn Christopher Ryan explains what we can learn about monogamy from our hunter-gatherer ancestors, kiwi couples share some of the ups and downs of decades together, and sex therapist Nic Beets provides valuable advice

Research shows that putting a name to a feeling helps manage it. In this episode, three BANG! listeners talk about things they've struggled with and the steps they've taken to deal with them, plus father-daughter sex advice duo Nic and Lena Beets step in with practical advice. Today's topics: vaginismus, erectile dysfunction and period sex.

Didn't you know? It's 20-bi-teen! What better time to get schooled on the ins and outs of bisexuality. In this ep, a couple from season 2 return to talk about the difference between being bi and pansexual, and what it's like when everyone around them assumes they're straight. Plus queer author and columnist Emily Writes comes out in her 30s and we ask some bi and pan teens if biphobia is something they're familiar with.

Live from the Bread and Circus Festival in Christchurch, Melody Thomas puts your sex and relationship questions to father-daughter sex advice duo Nic and Lena beets, plus Gemma Syme talks about coming out in her thirties, Tara from Peaches and Cream shares her better work stories and Audrey pops in with one of the best sex toy stories ever told.

Hurrah! BANG! returns for Season 3 on Monday March 4th.

A previous episode of BANG! left a few loose ends so Melody Thomas pulls together a panel for a discussion of tricky topics.

In this very special episode of BANG! recorded in front of a live audience at The Basement Theatre, Melody Thomas and guests dispense advice, tell personal stories, recite erotic poems and have a few laughs along the way.

We hear three stories from people who have worked through shame or embarrassment towards "really wonderful sunshine" on the other side.

How do lesbians have sex? What's it like to be asexual? Or polyamorous? And how can a disability affect your sex life? Melody Thomas seeks answers from the people who know best.

'Toxic masculinity' is a phrase that gets thrown around a lot these days but a lot of guys seem not to like it... Maybe it's the 'toxic' part? In this episode of BANG! Melody Thomas takes a trip to a Coromandel pub to hear about 'Man Cards', gets some great metaphors from comedian and teen mentor James Nokise and trades weather burns and communication tips with psychologist Zac Seidler.

In this episode, Melody speaks with a couple of people in heterosexual relationships whose attractions are nevertheless far from straightforward.

In this episode, three people in their 30s and 40s talk about dating.

Scholars and activists Ngahuia Te Awekotuku and Elizabeth Kerekere speak with Melody Thomas about what sex, sexuality and gender looked like in Te Ao Maori prior to colonisation, plus Rosanna Raymond shares a Pacific perspective, and we meet non-binary Auckland teenager Kahi

Melody Thomas is joined by Alex Casey, Leonie Hayden and Michele A'Court from The Spinoff's On The Rag podcast for a boisterous chat about their "sexual awakenings".

Using real stories told by real people, Melody Thomas leads a frank (but often entertaining) exploration of sex, sexuality and relationships. In the first episode of season 2, people talk about their "sexual awakenings" and first times, and we explore the idea of virginity as a social construct.

In BANG! episode 7, Melody speaks to couples in their 60s and 70s about the different ways they choose to stay connected, Lesley Maskery discusses policy and practice regarding sexuality in rest homes, and we look to the future with Jenny Kleeman, on the ethics of sex robots.

In episode 6, Melody faces up to another awkward phone call, we learn about how intimacy is affected by life-threatening illness, visit an "adult entertainment store" and sex therapist Edit Horvath identifies some of the common issues faced by those in their 50s.

In episode 5, we hear from parents about how kids affected their relationships, clinical psychologist and sex therapist Nic Beets highlights some of the most common issues experienced by new parents and a couple share an unorthodox conception story.

In episode 4, we hear from couples about the ways sex and intimacy has changed over their years together, and Sex Therapy NZ's Helen Mounsey shares tips for couples wishing to stay connected.

In episode 3 a group of 20-somethings tell us what dating and hooking up looks like for them, plus Eleanor Butterworth on 'ethical sex', Hera Lindsay Bird reads a new poem, and Laura Borrowdale reviews a website dedicated to female pleasure.

In episode two, we explore how teens deal with sex ed, relationships and the influence of pornography. Plus famous Kiwis travel back in time to deliver sex advice to their teen selves.

Melody Thomas leads a frank and often-entertaining exploration into sex, sexuality and relationships - starting at the very beginning with 'The Birds and The Bees'. Featuring everyday kiwis reflecting on their experiences of 'the talk', young parents now on their struggles when it comes to discussing sex and sexuality with their kids, and Sex Therapy NZ's Mary Hodson with some practical advice.

Featuring real stories from real people about sex, sexuality and relationships, Melody Thomas leads a frank and often-entertaining exploration over 7-parts, into topics too often shrouded in shame and secrecy.