TOXIC PODCAST

Alejandro consumes nearly the entire Hellraiser franchise and attempts to get to the bottom of Pinhead's job description. This is the episode where I won't stop yelling about how Pinhead is a sex thing. 

Alejandro tackles Old backwards. Feels confused. Attempts levity. Ages 50 years in 40 minutes. Let's get OLD!!

What if a cop did bad things? Alejandro consumes late 80's B-movie Maniac Cop, galaxy brains out on satire, and eventually becomes nonverbal. Beware!!

Just the entire contents of the Underworld film franchise in one episode. Vampires love guns!!!

Alejandro tackles insane mega novel Atlas Shrugged. Who is Ragnar Danneskejold? Why is being right so much more important than helping people? Go ahead, do the selfish thing and listen to this episode!!

Alejandro begins the season by talking about Sheldon, the king of all genius archetypes. Get out of my spot and listen to this episode!!!

Alejandro closes out the final season of Toxic Podcast by submerging himself in the Psycho remake. What is a remake? What is a MOVIE? What other businesses could Norman Bates run? See you in two weeks. 

Alejandro compares and contrasts mediocre sound based horror movies Don't Breathe and A Quiet Place. Spoiler--you are allowed to breathe. 

Clearer heads have prevailed upon Alejandro to discuss a contemporary artifact and he spends the entire episode trying to figure out how to structure his analysis of The Suicide Squad. This a good one. 

Alejandro discusses Peter Pan and the resurgent trope of the Man Boy. Lots of great Kolleeny backstory in this one. 

Alejandro gushes endlessly about a dusty old book. He opens up the story and pulls out all the insanity. If you like the Scarlet Letter, or if you hate it, you should listen to the episode. 

Alejandro plays a game. The game of disappointment. An ineffectual Saw reboot yields a positively strange Chris Rock performance. Hold on to your fingers! Or maybe don't. 

Alejandro embarks on a journey through the uncertain realities of the new Space Jam movie and debuts Al G Rhythm's theme. 

Alejandro struggles with the fact that Showtime miniseries event The Comey Rule was not actually written by Aaron Sorkin but still finds time to revel in the chaos and reveal himself as a liberal hack. This one might get a little...bit...political. 

Alejandro talks about Norman Bates and then summarizes Psycho 2, which is a really weird horror movie!

Alejandro discusses Psycho with the charm and maturity you've come to expect. 

Alejandro has decided everything he has ever said is dumb and he rings in the new era of toxic podcast with a deep and confusing dive into the work of Chuck Lorre. This begins a lengthy dissection of Two And A Half Men, a show that helped liquefy all your parents brains in the 2010's. Sorry for being such a verbose fake ally!!

Alejandro recorded a Joker episode last week because he's incredibly prescient. We discuss the concept of "becoming the joker," philosophize about evil, and ultimately complain for an hour. It's a good one!

It's the first full episode of the new year and Alejandro struggles through Hitch, a movie that is definitely not about a pick up artist. A wonderful cast and smart dialogue help distract from an overwhelming cocktail of romcom tropes and themes in this, the Star Wars of Romantic Comedies. Don't get tricked into falling in love with this episode!!!

For the 2nd year in a row Alejandro rings in the New Year with a bit everyone hates. Sitting beside a deck of old Yu-Gi Oh Cards, Alejandro draws cards randomly, describes the monsters, and lists what he thinks their New Year's resolutions will be. Regular episodes return next week.

Alejandro has stitched two episodes about Netflix's medieval monster killing drama The Witcher together into one, delivering double the Superman, double the hacky monster jokes, double the apologies, double the Laws Of Surprise, and three times the Donovan. It's art!!!

A Behind The Scenes Mini Episode in which Alejandro lies in his bed fruitlessly trying to find meaning in the spiritual goop of the Dog's Purpose/Dog's Journey movies. The Studio 60 theme gets played. I'll never forgive Josh Gad.

Alejandro needs a win and it doesn't entirely come together as we discuss Justice League. What's Bruce Wayne's Superpower? He's rich! I don't...not like it. Also what's the deal with Brunch? Some say this is the podcast episode that drove Steppenwolf mad.

Alejandro conducts an in depth examination of Emma Roberts' tour de force performance as Jill Roberts, the fourth incarnation of Mr Ghost from Scre4m. In a podcast whose oeuvre is filled with *weird energy* episodes this one boasts...especially weird energy. Alejandro confesses his love for Macklemore, FINALLY admits that he has prejudices, and lets slip that getting yelled at makes him horny. Take care of yourselves.

Alejandro endures The Happytime Murders and flees various horror villains angry with him for refusing to make holiday content. Hackiness overwhelms him as he tries not to mention his recent Ratio experience. This episode is almost the same length as the movie.

Sorry this isn't the Joker episode!! This week Alejandro accidentally spends almost 2 hours talking about the foundational toxic text Criminal Minds and barely scratches the surface. He also teaches a three tiered wine class before deleting from memory all of his now obsolete wine knowledge. Big content warning on this episode--I describe what Criminal Minds is like!! (seriously)

Alejandro watches A Dog's Purpose, a movie about a dog who loves KJ Apa and later Dennis Quaid being reincarnated through time. Alejandro wrestles with the cosmos. The big questions! The mind reels. Mercifully there is no bad improv. Sorry for being mean to the Avengers last week.

DISCLAIMER: Sorry I call this movie stupid a million times, if you like this movie I am not calling you stupid!! Just please be prepared for me to call this movie stupid like over and over and over, and for totally BS reasons. Shoutout to Judge Grumpus and the Ghost of Garfield.

The return in earnest of Toxic Podcast has Alejandro talking about the wonderful and effective doll horror film Annabelle Creation as he takes a scary flight to an underappreciated podcaster convention. When his seatmate turns out to be the monstrous and complicated Andrew Goose Clay, Alejandro's plans to discuss Annabelle Creation are nearly sidelined. Unfortunately all this plot development can't save the episode just as it can't save the orphans in the Mullins home. Welcome back guys, they'll get better.

Alejandro returns from the edge of existence to complain about this show where monsters fuck each other and discovers to his horror that he has become less woke. The werewolf disappoints. Aaron Sorkin finally gets his revenge on Gotham. Optimus Prime endorses Joe Biden. This one's fun, I think.

Toxic Podcast has been resurrected and Alejandro is on a mission to describe the changing political landscape of the Transformers franchise as the earth is torn apart by the Cyber War. Alejandro heroically refuses to summarize the films, instead focusing on more important matters like Megatron's weird cloak. A franchise involving cars that turn into robots is also the only major franchise in which an apocalypse is quite so fully realized. We're back.

Alejandro discovers the euphorically toxic True Blood, turns out to be a Vampire Bigot, and completely goes off the rails. Yami Yugi, Double Scrooge, and a Goose stop by and conflicts ensue. Contains probably the longest period of mouth footing in any episode of Toxic Podcast thus far. Apologies to all.

Toxic Podcast returns from hiatus to discuss 2004's Religious Torture Epic Passion Of The Christ. Alejandro struggles through a genuinely brutal viewing experience, tackles the film's obsession with extreme violence, and wonders when God is going to show his loser face. A late drop in by Jack Black's character from I Still Know What You Did Last Summer precipitates a skidding out and Alejandro fails to plug his show. It's basically par for the course.

Toxic Podcast returns in earnest to explore Boss Baby: Back In Business, a Netflix series which doubles down on the Toxic corporate universe of the Boss Baby film. Is that theme song simply too radical to deny? If these babies truly spend eternity doing this job shouldn't they be better at it? Happy New Year!

Alejandro draws monsters from a deck of worthless Yu-Gi-Oh cards discovered in his home, describes the monsters, and takes a swing at what the monster is resolving this New Year's. It's a placeholder episode. Sue me.

For Christmas Alejandro got you a jam packed episode of Toxic Podcast concerning the Jim Carrey Grinch and debuts his Joe Biden impression. This one's got it all: youtube ads ruining bits, weird noises, problematic hemming and hawing over important topics, occasional moments of joy, and a great deal of self-indulgent projection onto the Grinch. Help, I'm feeling!!!

Alejandro takes a leisurely drive through Park Slope looking at Christmas lights, describing them, and trying his best not to talk about the supremely Toxic Love Actually. The fragment ends when Alejandro gets lost. Weird one.

Christmastime is upon us and Alejandro brings to you The Santa Clause, a movie it is impossible to describe without using the phrase "kill santa." Over the course of an hour forty a family is torn apart, a community of Elves are worked to death, and the police deploy a SWAT team. Merry Christmas?

Alejandro recaps last week and then recaps his recap as he delivers a Holiday palate cleanser in the form of Chocolat, a movie that can best be described as CHOCOLATE FOOTLOOSE. The boundaries of the podcast concept are stretched by our inability to characterize the film as toxic, but in a pinch the recipe can substitute joyous insanity. There's no sound in space!!!

Alejandro has read 3 Chuck Palahniuk novels in 4 days and passes the podcasting responsibilities off to Literary Kolleeny, who quickly finds himself muddled in the overwhelming toxicity of the P-man's writing style and oeuvre. Does this episode have literally no jokes?

Alejandro gushes about the lamest movie of all time. Sully: a tonally jarring and confused movie with no clear villain or stakes that is about essentially nothing except how fucking awesome Sully is. We discuss anti-bald propaganda, the cosmic horror of air travel, and First Officer Skills sparks up many a fat spliff. As they say in France- "Birds."

Alejandro unloads on Broken, a superlatively toxic earworm by alleged musical group lovelytheband. Life is about waking up in the morning and making some eggs. Was Shoenice real? We learn people with Trust Funds are the real victims and to close things out Sully Sullenberger dispenses 208 seconds of wisdom.

Toxic Podcast begins its second season with a discussion of the iconic Progressive spokesperson Flo The Progressive Lady. A classy if scattered look at the toxic nature of advertising and the absurdist hellscapes in which ads take place. Alejandro tries not to be too philosophical as he essentially summarizes fifteen progressive commercials and complains about lazy jokewriting. Off to a great start.

Allegedly this is the third episode in which Batman V Superman is discussed. But IS Batman V Superman discussed? Recorded 75 years to the day after the final episode of Toxic Podcast. Alejandro has a ten minute meltdown trying to describe the Cake Sequence. I guess this episode is weird enough that I have to be on its side??

A lengthy character study of the most incredible performance in all of film: Jessie Eisenberg as Lex Luthor. A cumulative 40 minutes of screentime absolutely dominate the film, but why did some claim Luthor was actually the worst part of BVS? Our host unravels and becomes the very character he is attempting to describe. Lex inexplicably quotes Lolita. It's fucked up.

An unprecedentedly cheerful Alejandro Kolleeny gleefully begins his study of BVSDOJ, the template for Toxic Media as we know it. A comic book movie obsessed with making its audience and characters miserable, the film deliberately tries to exhaust the viewer and guess what baby--it succeeds! Alejandro opens up this overstuffed closet of toxicity only to have it rain down upon his head like so many tennis rackets and old coats. Breathe it in. That's fear!

Alejandro discusses Saw 5 at a party celebrating the fact that he is no longer discussing the Saw franchise anymore. Luke Danes from Gilmore Girls gets his head trapped in a box. Is this the best Saw movie and how do I make people other than myself care?

Alejandro's initial intention to discuss Friends spinoff Joey is derailed several times as he recovers from an illness. We discuss Deadpool 2, Friends and Frasier, and the episode becomes crowded with characters. Eventually our intrepid host completely runs out of steam and pronounces the episode a failure. This is the Joey of podcast episodes.

An incensed Alejandro Kolleeny chokes his way through his longest episode by far to address Ready Player One, a movie with a bad concept and no right to exist. Sorry about all the swearing but it is just so infuriating trying to enjoy this paint by numbers useless male hero story drowning in exposition with a concept that turns out to be "the internet." Join us for the movie version of when your grandfather finds out you do comedy and spends thirty minutes trying to describe what Youtube is.

Toxic Podcast returns from hiatus to ingest the starkly depressing depiction of toxic masculinity and its role in the development of a massively influential and world altering social networking site. Alejandro attempts to responsibly interpret the film despite the intrusions of Real World Mark Zuckerberg and Jessie Eisenberg's Mark Zuckerberg, both of whom storm the podcast bringing their own agendas.

As Sacha Baron Cohen's Who Is America continues to be a topic of controversy, Alejandro returns to the equally if not more controversial 2006 film Borat. His foot also returns to his mouth and remains there for the duration of the episode. Who better to apologetically hem and haw for forty five minutes about the impact of offensive humor than some random straight white guy? Has the podcaster learned his lesson about biting off more than he can chew? Also the episode ends w a lovely Italian Dinner and pep talk from Michael Shannon.