Curious not Furious

Curious not Furious

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Join parenting coach, family advisor and mum of 2, Louise Brooks as she takes on tough parenting questions and offers actionable guidance and inspiration to help you in your parenting.

Louise Brooks


    • Jan 31, 2025 LATEST EPISODE
    • monthly NEW EPISODES
    • 33m AVG DURATION
    • 43 EPISODES


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    Latest episodes from Curious not Furious

    43. Step parents are also allowed to have limits ( with Janne Leth Førgaard)

    Play Episode Listen Later Jan 31, 2025 66:17


    With the divorce rate in the UK currently at 42% it is important to shed light on the complexities of living in a blended family. How soon after getting together can your new partner rightly correct your child?How do we avoid becoming the wicked step parent without trying too hard to be liked?Why is it vital that you speak respectfully about your child's other parent -even though he / she is the one who left and inflicted hurt?Step parenting is not easy but blended family dynamics  offer a real opportunity for personal growth and connection if you ask family advisor, Janne Leth Førgaard, who is an expert within this field. Janne talks about the signs you need to recognise that alert you that you are in a position to parent your partners child. And the vital importance of BOUNDARIES. This episode has such much for you, even if you are not yourself living in a blended family. About today's guest: A successful parenting coach and family advisor in her native Denmark, Janne Leth Førgaard, has dedicated her worklife to understanding the complexities of parenting and navigating blended family dynamics and offers 1:1 coaching to parents both in Denmark and internationally. With 3 published books under her belt and regular TV apperances on debate panels, Janne is an advocate of a more neutral term to describe the role of the step parent; Janne calls it the 'Extra - parent'. Because, as the word suggests; you get extra - everything; Extra conflicts Extra love Extra peopleIf you feel you or a friend might benefit from coaching and guidance in this area you might want to check out her work which you can find here: https://ekstramor.dk/https://www.instagram.com/ekstramor/https://www.linkedin.com/in/jannelethfoergaard/To get weekly tips and parenting inspiration sent straight to your inbox - head over to www.louise-brooks.com to sign up for my weekly newsletter You can follow me on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/parentingsuccesscoaching/And onFacebook: https://www.facebook.com/

    42. When we need to work for love

    Play Episode Listen Later Jan 9, 2025 50:42


    Oscar Van Rooij is back! The Dutch mindset coach, public speaker and Tony Robbins associate is joining me on today's epsisode to explore the existential dilemma we all grapple with: Our innate human needs; on the one hand, to belong to others/ the group. And also, belonging to ourselves and being true to what we feel and sense. We ask questions like: What have you learnt to be / not be - in order to receive love, attention or praise?What triggers you most in your child? How can you support your child to not have to choose between authenticity and connection to you or others? This wonderful conversation is sparked by the important work by Dr Gabor Mate, Hungarian / Canadian physician and thought leader whose books include, but are not limited to: The myth of normal When the body says noHold on to your kidsScattered minds https://drgabormate.com/Oscar Van Rooij is a highly sought-after coach and motivational speaker and you can reach him: https://oscarvanrooij.com/Parenting is not easy. Our children press on all the stuff that need our attention. So if you wish to give yourself the love and attention that you deserve, or if you have any concerns about your child or family that you wish to heal, please reach out to me. Free discovery call bookings can be made here: mail@louise-brooks.com www.louise-brooks.com I'll look forward to supporting you on your parenting journey Louise xTo get weekly tips and parenting inspiration sent straight to your inbox - head over to www.louise-brooks.com to sign up for my weekly newsletter You can follow me on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/parentingsuccesscoaching/And onFacebook: https://www.facebook.com/

    41. My child is driving me up the wall

    Play Episode Listen Later Dec 5, 2024 35:07


    This episode is for you if you are raising toddlers or anyone occasionally behaving like one.  It IS hard to raise little children. And even harder when we lack clarity around what is expected of us at their developmental stage. If we parent our toddler like we would our infant, and our teen like we would our primary schooler - we soon find that we will have some epic power struggles on our hand. This episode will help you to get clear on your role - and define when you've had a parenting success moment - even when it doesn't feel or look like success. Be sure to share this episode with anyone who might need this!To get weekly tips and parenting inspiration sent straight to your inbox - head over to www.louise-brooks.com to sign up for my weekly newsletter You can follow me on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/parentingsuccesscoaching/And onFacebook: https://www.facebook.com/

    40. 3 ways to manage the mental load this Christmas

    Play Episode Listen Later Nov 27, 2024 30:57


    With December around the corner it is easy to step onto the same old merry go round that takes us to exactly the same place every year; overdraft, overwhelm and a looming new year that feels anything but exciting. Granted, Christmas is joyful and fun. But I can see from my engaged followers on social media that too many of us end up working harder than ever during December and ofte have a sense that we could have done things differently. But what? In this episode I share three ways you can avoid abandoning yourself in the run up to Christmas and a ton of practical ways you can introduce more low cost / no cost rituals to make Christmas feel joyful for all To get weekly tips and parenting inspiration sent straight to your inbox - head over to www.louise-brooks.com to sign up for my weekly newsletter You can follow me on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/parentingsuccesscoaching/And onFacebook: https://www.facebook.com/

    39. 3 ways to boost your child's reslience

    Play Episode Listen Later Nov 14, 2024 36:52


    The ability to weather upsets, setbacks and unwanted circumstances is a quality we all want in our children. Without it, we all know that life is going to be difficult. But how do we foster reslience in our children? By removing obstacles in their path? By praising them all the time? By toughening them up? In this episode we explore how OUR own feelings about our child's experience influence our child's resilience and 3 ways that we can support them when life feels difficult, emotions are big and our parenting instinct screams; FIX IT. To get weekly tips and parenting inspiration sent straight to your inbox - head over to www.louise-brooks.com to sign up for my weekly newsletter You can follow me on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/parentingsuccesscoaching/And onFacebook: https://www.facebook.com/

    38. Modern parenting: Here's what we've misunderstood

    Play Episode Listen Later Oct 23, 2024 17:51


    They're all over social media; Funny memes with parents mocking modern parenting - showing the ridiculous ways that we as parents have become subservient to our children and scared to put a foot wrong. It's funny. And sadly true. In this episode I ask the question: How have we gotten here? And I offer my perspective on what many of us have misunderstood in the pursuit of giving our children a sense that they matter, that their feelings are valid and that they're unconditionally loved. Feeling a bit overwhelmed by it all?No wonder. Parenting is hard! Just as you thought you'd nailed it - a new thing comes up; Your child wants a phoneYour tween starts becoming more sassyYour toddler won't sleep on their own Rather than searching on the internet for tips and tricks to deal with your unique family - know that I am here to support you. Parenting support - tailored to your family - in a way that suits you best; Zoom In person Walk and Talk If you would like to book a free parenting consultation to find out how parent coaching can transform your family life - get in touch by sending me an email: Mail@louise-brooks.com Want free tips and additional resources?I have written countless blogs and articles on anything you can think of as a parent. I share these in my weekly newsletters - including information about exciting offers and online and inperson events. Make sure you don't miss any of this and sign up here: https://louise-brooks.com/Want to make a difference to a young person this Christmas? Join our 10 mile charity walk in support of Children in CHAMS in-patient units this December. When: Sunday Decebmer 8th (9am)Where: Meet at the gates of Windsor Castle where we will embark on a scenic walk through Great Windsor Park, Viriginia Water Lake, Sunningdale - before reaching the charming village, Chobham - where we celebrate at the White Hart pub. This walk is for families and anyone up for a little challenge. You can bring your dog, a pushchair and kids - or you can simply donate to this worthy cause. Read more about the charity and register right here: To get weekly tips and parenting inspiration sent straight to your inbox - head over to www.louise-brooks.com to sign up for my weekly newsletter You can follow me on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/parentingsuccesscoaching/And onFacebook: https://www.facebook.com/

    37. Why threats don't work

    Play Episode Listen Later Oct 16, 2024 26:45


    Of course threats work. In the here and now - if we are willing to threaten to take something away that our child really cares about. But do threats as a way to foster cooperation give us what we want for our children and ourselves in the long run? In this episode I propose that we put guilt, shame and our own inner critic to one side - and simply get curious about the long (and short ) term effect of threats in our parenting. This episode might be just what you need to share with your partner or for you to see things in a new light. In the episode I refer to the 2nd episode of this podcast: "Three things that fuel cooperation" - which would follow on nicely from today's episode. You can catch that right here: https://podcasts.apple.com/gb/podcast/2-three-things-that-fuel-cooperation/id1657607176?i=1000590867085WALKING HOME FOR CHRISTMAS: Join me and other families when we embark on a 10mile long walk in support of CAHMS children and adolescents in inpatient treatment over the festive season. You can make a real diffference to these young people during a difficult time of year for them. When: Sunday 8th of December 9am Where: We set off from Windsor Castle gate and finish at Chobham's White Hart pub. Who can come: ANYONE who would like to walk, connect and enjoy this beautifully scenic route. You can donate and register for the walk right here; https://www.justgiving.com/page/louise-brooks-1728987523914?utm_medium=fundraising&utm_content=page%2Flouise-brooks-1728987523914&utm_source=copyLink&utm_campaign=pfp-shareTo get weekly tips and parenting inspiration sent straight to your inbox - head over to www.louise-brooks.com to sign up for my weekly newsletter You can follow me on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/parentingsuccesscoaching/And onFacebook: https://www.facebook.com/

    36. From afternoon dread - to afternoon reset

    Play Episode Listen Later Sep 12, 2024 19:40


    The afternoons with children can feel like a dreaded part of the day. The time of day when the tank is emptying, but the kids' needs and emotions are most pressing. Kids fall out in the car The snacks you bring are not the right ones The mode of transport is not what your child had wantedWhy are afternoons so difficult?In this short episode, I offer a different way of viewing this part of the day and structuring it in ways that serve both you and your child. To get weekly tips and parenting inspiration sent straight to your inbox - head over to www.louise-brooks.com to sign up for my weekly newsletter You can follow me on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/parentingsuccesscoaching/And onFacebook: https://www.facebook.com/

    35. My child should be doing this independently

    Play Episode Listen Later Jul 18, 2024 39:42


    She can ride a horse. She can get herself dressed, make breakfast, cycle to the shops and take the bus. Why can't she just tidy up all the clothes in her her own room???!!!Have you ever wondered why you're locked into conflict about the same scenarios in your family?If so, this episode is for you. Pulling from the work of Byron Katie, I show you how her 5 mind opening questions helped me to view my recurring battle with my daughter - and what you need to know about independence before you double down on getting your child to do what you see their same aged friend doing - all by themselves. Byron Katie's books, work sheets and work can be found here; https://thework.com/To get weekly tips and parenting inspiration sent straight to your inbox - head over to www.louise-brooks.com to sign up for my weekly newsletter You can follow me on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/parentingsuccesscoaching/And onFacebook: https://www.facebook.com/

    34. How to stop raising people pleasers

    Play Episode Listen Later Jun 25, 2024 43:07


    All people pleasers were once parent pleasers. People pleasing is something we all do to some extent. Why? Or else no one would want to be around us. The constant balance we are all faced with having to strike, is when to cooperate with others and do what the world wants of us - and when to honor our own limits, wants and desires. As Jung famously said; "The first half of a human's life is spent living in accordance with what others want from us. The second half of a human's life is spent honoring what we want for ourself"It can be difficult to watch our child trying to fit in, pleasing friends who aren't worthy of their attention and doing things that are not in line with their moral compass, in order to be liked.  DON'T DO IT! We feel like saying. But when we do - we don't get through. Because kids don't do what we say - they ultimately come to do as we do. This episode delves into the two conflicting needs we all have; For connection - and for authenticity. How do we get our child to cooperate in ways that doesn't squash their authenticity? How do we work on our own stuff while helping our kids become grounded in themselves?How do we raise kids who respect themselves enough to not self-abandon in order to meet their own needs for love and connection? Have a listen on your next walk or drive - and share with a friend you know would like to hear these words To get weekly tips and parenting inspiration sent straight to your inbox - head over to www.louise-brooks.com to sign up for my weekly newsletter You can follow me on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/parentingsuccesscoaching/And onFacebook: https://www.facebook.com/

    33. Will my child be traumatised?

    Play Episode Listen Later Jun 5, 2024 24:31


    Trauma has become part of mainstream language. Trauma is no longer understood as what brings us into A&E -but what occurs as a result of childhood experiences growing up. But how do we make sense of trauma when it comes to our parenting? How can we help our child cope with difficult circumstances? You might have sometimes wondered: Have we traumatised our child? In my work with parents I often get asked if: - The aggressive sleep method they applied when their child was a baby- The arguments and loud conflicts they have with their partner- Their own illness or mental health challenges- The loss of a beloved family memberis going to traumatise their child.  I think we've all asked ourselves that question from time to time. And in this episode I speak about the counter intuitive parenting tip that can make all the difference for you and your child. To get weekly tips and parenting inspiration sent straight to your inbox - head over to www.louise-brooks.com to sign up for my weekly newsletter You can follow me on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/parentingsuccesscoaching/And onFacebook: https://www.facebook.com/

    32. My child lies!

    Play Episode Listen Later Mar 21, 2024 15:20


    We all know that children lie sometimes. But - when our OWN child lies - it can feel hard not to get triggered. "I told them I want the truth""I'm raising a liar""Why is my child so deceitful?"In this episode I share 3 perspectives about lying - that can help you hopefully stay a little more grounded when you respond to your child. And actionable strategies to help your child to tell the truth. You might want to share this one with a friend or your partnerTo get weekly tips and parenting inspiration sent straight to your inbox - head over to www.louise-brooks.com to sign up for my weekly newsletter You can follow me on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/parentingsuccesscoaching/And onFacebook: https://www.facebook.com/

    31. The dark moments in parenting no one talks about in the playground

    Play Episode Listen Later Mar 7, 2024 49:28


    There is that fine line that we can cross as parents when what our child does or says provokes us. It is that line that line that denotes that we are dealing with and talking to our child - and not another adult. We modify our language We dial down the volume We engage in less threatening body language. After all, we are talking to a child, right!? But most parents will recognise that once the surge of cortisol and adrenalin rushes through the blood and gears you up for fight or flight, it can feel hard to think straight. To get the thinking brain back online again. In this primal state - we can come off as scary to our children. And it is in those, less rosy parenting moments, that our own inner critic has a field day; "I am not a good parent""No one else would behave like that""I need so much therapy"These are human moments that most parents will encounter - but that few will talk about. And maybe, it feels like there's no alternative to the immediate reaction. No stop button to push once the train has left the station. Oscar Van Rooij and I are exploring what happens in these difficult parenting moments, and what we can do to begin to regulate ourselves and recognise the signs that we are heading into the red zone. This might be just what you needed to hear To get weekly tips and parenting inspiration sent straight to your inbox - head over to www.louise-brooks.com to sign up for my weekly newsletter You can follow me on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/parentingsuccesscoaching/And onFacebook: https://www.facebook.com/

    30. Creating space for your relationship in modern family life

    Play Episode Listen Later Feb 20, 2024 53:01


    The thing that we most yearn for is to feel connected and that we matter to each other. But why is then, that we often prioritise the laundry, packing the bag for the next day and emptying the dishwasher over spending time with our partner? And what is the cost of living this way? I asked someone who really knows about the importance of relationships. Catherine Topham Sly - BACP accredited couples relationship therapist and transformation coach is worth a follow on social media where she shares her wisdom in little nuggets that make you feel seen, heard and empowered to tackle the ups and downs of our relationship. We explored: how we can have relationship conversations without saying; "we need to talk" how we might be able to tell that we are feeling disconnected in our relationship and how this affects the whole familywhat we can do to create more connection and why our relationship dissatisfaction doesn't change by wanting our partner to do more. You can access Catherine's work here: https://insightconnection.uk/https://www.instagram.com/insightandconnection/And retrieve her free downloadable question prompts to boost connection: https://subscribepage.com/openendedquestionsTo get weekly tips and parenting inspiration sent straight to your inbox - head over to www.louise-brooks.com to sign up for my weekly newsletter You can follow me on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/parentingsuccesscoaching/And onFacebook: https://www.facebook.com/

    29. Does half term often feel unenjoyable and stressful?

    Play Episode Listen Later Feb 7, 2024 44:41


    All too often, the children's school break is anything but a break for us parents. It feels more like an addition of work and chores -or more of everything; conflict, connection, tears and joy. Intense togetherness with our family highlights one thing; our ability to have our own needs met when we're surrounded by little people and partner's with needs too. Experienced health coach, Sarah Stannard is my guest in this episode and she shares her top tips for getting us mentally and physically ready for week ahead. Sarah is a big believer in preparation and scheduling. And it makes perfect sense - because how often do we find ourselves with a spare hour to spend on ourselves - unless we put our own needs on the family's agenda too. Sarah Stannard's private practice is based in Chertsey, Surrey. She delivers regular corporate wellness events, and consult for both Surrey County Council on their “be your best” program for children in Surrey and Healthier Weight UK and The Weight Loss Clinic. On a monthly basis. She also produces health and wellness articles for numerous publications and her work has been featured in The Global Women Magazine, Women's Own and on BBC Radio Surrey/Sussex.You can get in touch with Sarah for private sessions or if you'd like to get her free hormone balancing information packet right here: https://www.linkedin.com/in/sarah-stannard-77018b22/www.sarahstannard.comor email her on: sarah@sarahstannard.com | To get weekly tips and parenting inspiration sent straight to your inbox - head over to www.louise-brooks.com to sign up for my weekly newsletter You can follow me on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/parentingsuccesscoaching/And onFacebook: https://www.facebook.com/

    28. When changing your mind is the right thing to do

    Play Episode Play 60 sec Highlight Listen Later Jan 31, 2024 32:35


    Can you actually change your mind without loosing your child's respect?When your child has asked you for a snack and you've said no - but you realise that your child might be more hungry than you thought or you just don't have it in you that day to tow the lineor When you cancelled the birthday party your child was looking forward to going to - in a fit of frustration Can you actually change your mind without being seen as permissive? Many of us WANT to - but feel bad about doing so. Consistency is key after all. I'm here to tell you - you can!But HOW you do so matters greatly. In this episode I walk you through the do's and don'ts - and a powerful question to ask yourself before you change your no to a yes. To get weekly tips and parenting inspiration sent straight to your inbox - head over to www.louise-brooks.com to sign up for my weekly newsletter You can follow me on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/parentingsuccesscoaching/And onFacebook: https://www.facebook.com/

    27. Your most powerful morning ritual

    Play Episode Listen Later Jan 11, 2024 17:14


    Have you ever felt that everyone else's feelings and needs take precedence over your own? That you are so quick to tune into the needs of those around you, that you figure you'll come back to you when you have enough time.. only that time never comes? That's called parenting. But it need not be this way. Because it benefits no one. It is when we start our day on the backfoot in this way, that a morning tantrum, lateness or a forgotten bag throws us and sees us reacting in ways that we spend hours forgiving ourselves for once we've parted ways with our family. In this episode I'm sharing with you my most powerful morning ritual - one that you can refer to anytime of day - but is particularly useful to practice before you lean into your day. It takes less than 10 minutes but you reap the benefits throughout the day. This episode is one you might want to save and come back to time and time again To get weekly tips and parenting inspiration sent straight to your inbox - head over to www.louise-brooks.com to sign up for my weekly newsletter You can follow me on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/parentingsuccesscoaching/And onFacebook: https://www.facebook.com/

    26. 3 tips to promote independence

    Play Episode Listen Later Jan 3, 2024 73:37


    Few things can feel more upsetting than to part ways with our child at the school/ nursery gate, following a morning of chaos, tears and tantrums. How do we get children to cooperate with us in the morning without the use of threats, yelling and defiance? My wonderful guest in this episode is Angeliki, mum of 2 and a mum I have had the pleasure of working with over the past 3 years. Angeliki's biggest frustration at the moment, is instilling independence in her 8 year old daughter - who currently only gets herself ready in the morning if her parents physically dress her. Angeliki wonders if there is an alternative that she hasn't yet discovered? Whether independence will ever be achieved if they add as much help as she seems to need right now? This conversation is for you if you recognise some of these thoughts and you can be sure you to walk away much clearer on what fosters cooperation and what promotes independence in children. To get weekly tips and parenting inspiration sent straight to your inbox - head over to www.louise-brooks.com to sign up for my weekly newsletter You can follow me on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/parentingsuccesscoaching/And onFacebook: https://www.facebook.com/

    25. Love a good moan?

    Play Episode Listen Later Dec 22, 2023 33:06


    Nothing like a little sprinkle of doomsday picture to motivate our child, right?!In this episode we dive into 5 common ways that we drain our own energy as parents and inspire fear, limiting beliefs and insecurity in our children. We also look at our obsessive focus on the British weather and using our child's difficult moment as a teachable situation - rarely feels effective. Finish the year a little clearer on what you might unintentionally pass on - so that you can show up more intentional. I can't wait to connect with you again in 2024Thank you so much for listening To get weekly tips and parenting inspiration sent straight to your inbox - head over to www.louise-brooks.com to sign up for my weekly newsletter You can follow me on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/parentingsuccesscoaching/And onFacebook: https://www.facebook.com/

    24. Here's what your tween / teen wish you knew

    Play Episode Play 60 sec Highlight Listen Later Dec 6, 2023 71:42


    What is it actually like to be a teen? Of course we can ask ourselves what it felt like. But then again - it's a while ago AND we didn't live in the age of social media, mobile phones and a global pandemic. I have had the privilege of sitting down with three young women, - 19, 20 and 22 - to explore What it FELT like being that ageHow their change in mood, hormones and interests impacted on their relationships to their parentsWhat they felt about their parents boundaries What they wish their parents had trusted about themWhat parents can do to stay connected during the tween/ teen phase. This is SUCH a brilliant listen because these three girls are so good at reflecting and communicating their experiences. If you are a parent in this season of life - this one is for you To get weekly tips and parenting inspiration sent straight to your inbox - head over to www.louise-brooks.com to sign up for my weekly newsletter You can follow me on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/parentingsuccesscoaching/And onFacebook: https://www.facebook.com/

    23. Help - we have tweens and teens in the house! - with Oscar van Rooij

    Play Episode Listen Later Nov 14, 2023 53:12


    Adolescence doesn't have a good rep. When your children approach this age, well-meaning parents who've been through this period themselves, will 'wish you luck' - and your parents might have jokingly prophesied that your karmic lesson will be taught during this time. Rather than softening our critical gaze, and embracing the word 'grace' these ways of talking about raising teens and tweens - make us want to amour up - ready for battle. Oscar van Rooij is back, this time talking about a topic that is close to home for the both of us. The gear that we are having to change in our parenting, when raising tweens and teens. We talk about: need for privacyrude and sassy attitudeembarrassment laziness And.. perhaps most importantly - what we can do to support our children AND our own future - during this time. To get weekly tips and parenting inspiration sent straight to your inbox - head over to www.louise-brooks.com to sign up for my weekly newsletter You can follow me on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/parentingsuccesscoaching/And onFacebook: https://www.facebook.com/

    22. Who's wearing the trousers at home?

    Play Episode Listen Later Oct 27, 2023 54:11


    As if parenting wasn't hard enough. The way we show up in relation to our partner and the role we inhabit in our family's dynamic - can be really tricky. Oscar Van Rooij is back - and we are exploring how the feminine and masculine energy that exists inside all of us, often take on new forms when we become parents and the to-do lists pile up and the mental load increases. This episode is for all mums and dads who sometimes feel stuck in roles that they didn't feel they signed up for in the family, and who wish to understand better the differences between the male and female mind. Oscar Van Rooij is a Dutch motivational speaker and coach, residing in the UK. Oscar runs online courses, offers free master classes and shares his brilliant work through 1:1 sessions online. You can get in touch with him here: https://oscarvanrooij.com/SHOW NOTES: The YouTube clip referred to in this episode can be found here:https://youtu.be/29JPnJSmDs0?si=GO-SAT5n1r_N2hFNTo get weekly tips and parenting inspiration sent straight to your inbox - head over to www.louise-brooks.com to sign up for my weekly newsletter You can follow me on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/parentingsuccesscoaching/And onFacebook: https://www.facebook.com/

    21. 3 surprising things that reassure me as a mum

    Play Episode Listen Later Oct 18, 2023 26:56


    What does it mean to be a good parent? In most other areas of life we are able to rate our progress, score ourselves and determine whether we are good, below average or whether we are acing it. And then there's parenting. If we look at our children's behaviours to tell us whether we're good parents - we're most likely going to get a different score every day. No - we need to often look at other things that BEHAVIOUR. I share, in this episode, 3 things that might surprise you - that reassure me as a mum and maybe after listening to this, you feel a little better about yourself as a parent.To get weekly tips and parenting inspiration sent straight to your inbox - head over to www.louise-brooks.com to sign up for my weekly newsletter You can follow me on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/parentingsuccesscoaching/And onFacebook: https://www.facebook.com/

    20. The number one parenting skill you need

    Play Episode Listen Later Oct 10, 2023 28:21


    Before I became a parent I looked at other parents and thought; Parenting is all about getting good at the practical stuff; CookingPlanningOrganisingAnd of course, setting boundaries so that the children can be tolerable for other people. Some of us become so well versed at the practical sides of parenting, never missing an appointment, never sending our children out into the world with dirty hands, unkempt hair or creased clothes - that we overlook - possibly THE most important parenting skill of all. In this episode I share what I see as the most important parenting quality - and ways that we can begin to grow that muscle WHILE taking care of the million practical things that relate to being a mum or dad. To learn more about the wonderful WALK AND TALK - parenting program - please visit: www.louise-brooks.com or contact me on; Mail@louise-brooks.com to book your free 20 minute discovery callTo get weekly tips and parenting inspiration sent straight to your inbox - head over to www.louise-brooks.com to sign up for my weekly newsletter You can follow me on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/parentingsuccesscoaching/And onFacebook: https://www.facebook.com/

    19. 'Change the meaning - change your life' with Oscar van Rooij

    Play Episode Listen Later Oct 2, 2023 46:59


    Why do we feel so hard done by when our children don't comply or when our partner fails to meet our needs? In this episode, Oscar van Rooij shares: The reason we feel life or other people are against usWhat meeting our own needs has to do with our ability to feel differentlyHow we can become more okay with 'what is' - even if it is not what we prefer.Oscar van Rooij is a passionate coach, speaker and facilitator and committed to sharing the brilliant work of Tony Robbins. Oscar is Dutch, a dad of 2 and lives in the UK where he coaches in person and remotely. And if you'd like to get in touch with him, you can find him on: www.oscarvanrooij.comInstagram: https://www.instagram.com/oscarvanrooy/To get weekly tips and parenting inspiration sent straight to your inbox - head over to www.louise-brooks.com to sign up for my weekly newsletter You can follow me on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/parentingsuccesscoaching/And onFacebook: https://www.facebook.com/

    18. Red flags to look for in the sibling dynamic

    Play Episode Listen Later Sep 14, 2023 25:57


    We continue looking at the unique dynamic that exists between siblings. Now that we have established that we can safely take a step back in a lot of our children's daily squabbles - there is something that we DO need to pay attention to as parents. The red flags that warrant our interference are important to know about so that our children feel that it is safe to take off their armour when they return home from being in the world with a brave face. This episode talks about boundaries, values and shame.To get weekly tips and parenting inspiration sent straight to your inbox - head over to www.louise-brooks.com to sign up for my weekly newsletter You can follow me on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/parentingsuccesscoaching/And onFacebook: https://www.facebook.com/

    17. 3 tips to less sibling rivalry

    Play Episode Play 56 sec Highlight Listen Later Sep 5, 2023 35:37


    One minute they laugh and share and you feel like you've succeeded as a parent. The next moment they are at each other's throat and you despair; "What's causing all this fighting"?Love and hate, peace and war, tears and laughter - are all part of the sibling relationship dynamic and we have got to hold on tight to not get swept up in the daily storms. There are 3 things that can massively help us and our children to get on better and I have shared these top 3 tips in this episode, available for you whether you are currently at your wits end or simply wish to understand what might help you in moments of need. To get weekly tips and parenting inspiration sent straight to your inbox - head over to www.louise-brooks.com to sign up for my weekly newsletter You can follow me on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/parentingsuccesscoaching/And onFacebook: https://www.facebook.com/

    16. Say sorry!

    Play Episode Play 29 sec Highlight Listen Later Jul 18, 2023 25:19


    We can always insist that our child says 'sorry' but we can never control whether our child's apology is sincere. How do we ensure that our children learn to apologise when in the wrong? And how come it feels so difficult for one of our children to admit to any wrong doings, while for another child they rush to reconnect and rebuild relationship? In this episode we look at the 'GOOD APOLOGY' and the 4 ways that we so easily mess up an apology with an excuse. As parents, we are going to have to be willing to lead the way .. and be patient. The road to this ability is through a commitment to the act of 'repair'. To get weekly tips and parenting inspiration sent straight to your inbox - head over to www.louise-brooks.com to sign up for my weekly newsletter You can follow me on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/parentingsuccesscoaching/And onFacebook: https://www.facebook.com/

    15. When other's have opinions about your parenting

    Play Episode Listen Later Jul 12, 2023 25:56


    Few things can feel as confronting as when the people closest to you share their thoughts on your parenting or on your child's behaviour. Our survival strategies come out: - Push back and defend - Shrink and hide- Increase perfectionism We all have a preferred strategy that helps us when we feel overcome by shame. In this episode, we continue to look at the resilience skills that we can hone in order to be able to cope with more heat - without tapping out. To get weekly tips and parenting inspiration sent straight to your inbox - head over to www.louise-brooks.com to sign up for my weekly newsletter You can follow me on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/parentingsuccesscoaching/And onFacebook: https://www.facebook.com/

    14. Doing things that require courage

    Play Episode Listen Later Jul 6, 2023 31:37


    When was the last time you played offence in your own life? - Said yes to something that made you feel nervous? - Followed your gut instinct around care of your child, although it veered from what -   your friends were doing? - Dared disappoint someone else so as to not disappoint yourself? The more we can work up the capacity to tolerate the uncomfortable feelings that follow when we lean into courage or choose to live from our values rather than what is expected from us - the better we can show our children to do the same. In this episode I share how this is playing out for me at the moment and delve into the 7 behaviours that make up resilience - and that I lean on at the moment to avoid running back to safety. To get weekly tips and parenting inspiration sent straight to your inbox - head over to www.louise-brooks.com to sign up for my weekly newsletter You can follow me on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/parentingsuccesscoaching/And onFacebook: https://www.facebook.com/

    13. Are you also guilty of this?

    Play Episode Listen Later May 18, 2023 16:45


    Ever wondered why other people are so annoying or inconsiderate - and why your children take you for granted? There's more to other people's unwanted behaviours than meets the eye - and I do a quick dive into the human phenomenon that we all fall prey to in relationships. The fundamental attribution error!Let me share with you my top tip to improving your relationships instantly. To get weekly tips and parenting inspiration sent straight to your inbox - head over to www.louise-brooks.com to sign up for my weekly newsletter You can follow me on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/parentingsuccesscoaching/And onFacebook: https://www.facebook.com/

    12. Finding your own 'stop button' (part 2/2 'what I really need)

    Play Episode Listen Later Apr 23, 2023 31:23


    How do we actually stop ourselves from melting down WITH our child? In this episode I share my top tips on regulating yourself when your child pushes your buttons. Self-care is best practiced OUTSIDE of those 'alarm moments' because it allows us a buffer in moments of stress. But self-care is so much more than 'a massage and a trip to the nail salon'. You want to catch this episode if you are finding self-care difficult and constantly feel time challenged. Or if you find it hard to lower the bar a little for yourself without seeing it as a failure. To get weekly tips and parenting inspiration sent straight to your inbox - head over to www.louise-brooks.com to sign up for my weekly newsletter You can follow me on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/parentingsuccesscoaching/And onFacebook: https://www.facebook.com/

    11. What do I actually NEED? (part 1 / 2)

    Play Episode Listen Later Apr 16, 2023 21:05


    As parents, we expertly try to respond to our children's wants and needs from the moment of birth. We soothe, we hold, we nurture and we give. Also, when we have nothing more in the tank. And while we may have a faint idea of just how disconnected we have become from ourselves and how divorced we are from our own needs, it can be hard to notice when life is lived 100mph. That's why slowing down can feel so confronting. In this first of two episodes on self-care for parents - we address the difference between: Hard and difficultandWhat I want and what I need While we all want to scroll incessantly or eat a bar of chocolate when we've had a row with our partner - it might not be what we actually need. So what DO you need? And why is it so difficult to be with the messiness? To get weekly tips and parenting inspiration sent straight to your inbox - head over to www.louise-brooks.com to sign up for my weekly newsletter You can follow me on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/parentingsuccesscoaching/And onFacebook: https://www.facebook.com/

    10. Bonus episode; Boundary setting - next level

    Play Episode Listen Later Mar 9, 2023 19:19


    You've said no. You've held the boundary - allowed your child to feel upset - and now what? Are you so upset at all the emotional turmoil that your child has caused that you are finding it hard to re-connect and hold the door open on connection? This can be a very hard to pivot to make, minutes after our child has had a meltdown. In this episode I share my top tip for preventing more unwanted behaviours for occurring - and how you will be able to tell that your child is ready to connect with you again. To get weekly tips and parenting inspiration sent straight to your inbox - head over to www.louise-brooks.com to sign up for my weekly newsletter You can follow me on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/parentingsuccesscoaching/And onFacebook: https://www.facebook.com/

    9. Help. My child doesn't listen!

    Play Episode Listen Later Mar 3, 2023 30:02


    A five minute break is not too much to ask. Why is it that children appear to not listen when we say no? How come it isn't till I've lost my temper, gotten more cross than I want to get or threatened to take something away, that my child respects my 'no'? This is what we explore in today's episode. The art of a 'good no' is a vital parenting skill. And don't worry if you don't feel you're mastering it yet. You'll have plenty time to learn. To get weekly tips and parenting inspiration sent straight to your inbox - head over to www.louise-brooks.com to sign up for my weekly newsletter You can follow me on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/parentingsuccesscoaching/And onFacebook: https://www.facebook.com/

    8. Moan moan moan

    Play Episode Listen Later Feb 24, 2023 25:42


    I've found myself doing something I don't usually allow myself. I've been moaning. About a particular part of my life - and one that you likely can relate to as well.  While my complaining allowed me to get rid of some steam - I suddenly awoke to the realisation that I had given my power away. I was reminded of two fundamental things can change the way you relate to your problems - and which I share with you in this episode. If you, your partner or your child likes a good moan - this is a helpful listen To get weekly tips and parenting inspiration sent straight to your inbox - head over to www.louise-brooks.com to sign up for my weekly newsletter You can follow me on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/parentingsuccesscoaching/And onFacebook: https://www.facebook.com/

    7. Rethinking independence

    Play Episode Listen Later Feb 6, 2023 21:53


    My child gave up on cooking with me the other day... and gave me excellent feedback: "Mum, this is not nice. You're too bossy"I was. And I know why. In this episode I share with you what not to do - if you wish to raise helpful children - and why it is never too late to start this process. To get weekly tips and parenting inspiration sent straight to your inbox - head over to www.louise-brooks.com to sign up for my weekly newsletter You can follow me on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/parentingsuccesscoaching/And onFacebook: https://www.facebook.com/

    6. Help, my child is regressing

    Play Episode Play 46 sec Highlight Listen Later Jan 30, 2023 24:29


    What is going on - When your 8 year old suddenly insists you dress her or you find yourself locked into a power struggle with your 10year old because you refuse to comply with his demands that you help him put on his shoes? In this episode we explore independence and get clearer on what might see our children sometimes take a step back in order to be able to take a brave step forward. To get weekly tips and parenting inspiration sent straight to your inbox - head over to www.louise-brooks.com to sign up for my weekly newsletter You can follow me on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/parentingsuccesscoaching/And onFacebook: https://www.facebook.com/

    5. How do I know when to pick my battles?

    Play Episode Listen Later Jan 18, 2023 24:20


    People not in the trenches of parenting often offer the sage advice: Pick your battles.Have you ever wondered WHEN to actually pick your battles and HOW to do so in a way that doesn't give your child the impression that you're scared of their big feelings? In this episode I offer you a road map to picking your battles. Because when we know what we can rightly ignore and what prompts us to let go of a conflict - we are so much more effective as parents and we protect our relationship with our child To get weekly tips and parenting inspiration sent straight to your inbox - head over to www.louise-brooks.com to sign up for my weekly newsletter You can follow me on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/parentingsuccesscoaching/And onFacebook: https://www.facebook.com/

    4. Do you pendulum parent?

    Play Episode Play 44 sec Highlight Listen Later Jan 13, 2023 19:10


    Do others often say to you: "He's playing you?""She's so ruling the roost""You would have never been getting away with doing that"in response to how you approach your children when they're having a difficult emotion that's causing them to behave in ways that aren't ideal? Then you might be engaged in 'Pendulum parenting' - an never ending cycle of responding to the parenting of our past - or how we parented yesterday. In this episode I give you a tool for spotting whether you pendulum parent. Why we do - and how we can begin the journey of a more balanced approach. To get weekly tips and parenting inspiration sent straight to your inbox - head over to www.louise-brooks.com to sign up for my weekly newsletter You can follow me on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/parentingsuccesscoaching/And onFacebook: https://www.facebook.com/

    3. Thriving in difficult times

    Play Episode Play 60 sec Highlight Listen Later Jan 3, 2023 30:13


    2023 is here! And whatever your personal circumstance, we are facing a year of inflation, austerity, war in Europe and climate crisis. A sobering cocktail for all of us, and especially for us parents. Because how do we keep attend to our own feelings and concerns without living in fear and taking our worries and concerns out on the people we love the most? In this episode I share 4 things I turn to to manage my own overwhelm and worry and what NOT to cut back on  during challenging times. I offer all listeners of this podcast a 20% discount on all of my coaching packages until 5th of January. Simply write my: mail@louise-brooks.com and quote: Curious not FuriousYou can also book in for a free discovery call if you would like to find out how parenting coaching can help you and your family. For details on my upcoming Retreat Evening for Mums with the wonderful Charlie Leigh - please check out this link: https://www.eventbrite.co.uk/e/468286536637To get weekly tips and parenting inspiration sent straight to your inbox - head over to www.louise-brooks.com to sign up for my weekly newsletter You can follow me on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/parentingsuccesscoaching/And onFacebook: https://www.facebook.com/

    2. Three things that fuel cooperation

    Play Episode Listen Later Dec 21, 2022 32:04


    When your instructions seem to fall on deaf ears, it is tempting to repeat ourselves only to find ourselves getting more frustrated and feeling increasingly disrespected. This is when it becomes tempting to threaten to take things away and give ultimatums. Following on from the last episode on 'rethinking threats' - in this episode I offer 3 tips that are sure to fuel cooperation. Cooperation is a collaboration between parent and child. And when we get clear on what aids cooperation, we will find that many situations that usually lead to power struggles and everyone losing their temper, can become moments of connection, growth and mutual respect. To get weekly tips and parenting inspiration sent straight to your inbox - head over to www.louise-brooks.com to sign up for my weekly newsletter You can follow me on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/parentingsuccesscoaching/And onFacebook: https://www.facebook.com/

    1. Rethinking threats

    Play Episode Listen Later Dec 8, 2022 17:28


    Parenting without the constant use of threats to get our child to listen, can feel like giving up the one motivation tool we have at our disposal when our child says no to us or replies with a 'not now'. So if it works, why would we even want to reconsider the use of threats in our parenting? In this podcast episode I explore 3 ways that threats give us what we want in the here and now, but won't give you what you want in the long run. To get weekly tips and parenting inspiration sent straight to your inbox - head over to www.louise-brooks.com to sign up for my weekly newsletter You can follow me on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/parentingsuccesscoaching/And onFacebook: https://www.facebook.com/

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