Daily Bible Podcast

Today on the Daily Bible Podcast, we are going to be looking at God requiring Eazy-E to cosplay an exiled Israelite as a way to prophetize that they will all be exiled. God is way too ambiguous with the one-man show he directed so he tells Eazy to be more explicit about how screwed people […]

Today Eazy E, aka Ezekial, is going to stand by and watch God order a death squad to ravage Israel for really mundane things. Like some women were crying over some guy named Tammuz…or Demuzi … or something. Anyways that guy made some thugs mad and he got put down so they were upset over […]

Today we are starting Ezekiel and it goes from 0 to messed up rather quickly. First God gives Ezekiel a vision. In this vision, God assaults Ezekiel in a very weird way. He has 4 mutated creatures bum rush Ezekiel and forces him to watch God in an iron man suit and his pants were […]

Today on the Daily Bible Podcast, God is going to send the White Walkers from the north to invade Babylon because they followed his orders. Wait…what? So now God is punishing Babylon for doing exactly what God wanted them to do? How does that make any kind of sense? Jerry also sends some dopey guy […]

Today on the Daily Bible Podcast, Judah is going to fight a guerilla war against Babylon. This war will only have the best tactics given by none other than God. He has archers stationed around Babylon that will fire their arrows on command. He positions soldiers around the city and has them scream at the […]

Today, the first Q-Anon storm is going to hit Babylon and the Q-Anon Shaman is going to lead the charge. God is going to wreak havoc on the false prophets. That's right he's gonna call them dirty names and lock them in the closet forever. It's like the phantom zone but worse…because there are dirty […]

Today on the Daily Bible Podcast, Jerry had a vision of spoiled fig newtons that represents the dirty liberals in Judah and the good fig newtons are in Babylon. Jerry tells the old guys in Babylon that God is mad at them and they will never return to Judah. God says to build homes and […]

Today on the Daily Bible Podcast, Lord Zedd is chosen by Nebby to rule Judah with a meaty, metal claw. Prior to this, J-Hoy-chin is chosen to rule over Judah but he only lasts 3 months before Nebby deposes him and chooses Lord Zedd for the Job. Nebby also took all the useful people and […]

Today, God is going to send predator drones to destroy Cities that he used to punish Judah. If you don't remember, God contracted a bunch of guys to teach J-Hoy a lesson. After this, God said that they would also get their comeuppance. God Eventually fixes a couple of these places but they are all […]

Today on the Daily Bible Podcast, Daniel is taken by Nebby and he uses his Mega Vegan powers to sap the energy from the Egyptians in order to get a promotion. Daniel is taken by Nebby and is told to eat the best food because he's gonna be a wizard. Daniel refuses and reveals he […]

Today on the Daily Bible Podcast, Jerry employs Babadook to write down his prophecies. This leads up to Jerry and Babadook hiding in the bushes from J-Hoy. J-Hoy is the current king of Judah. Jerry had Babadook write down the prophecies he's been telling for 420 years. Once Babadook does this he then goes and […]

Today on the Daily Bible Podcast, the Sleestaks invade Judah and God pops a cold one and watches the situation play out. First, Babylon is going to kidnap some people. Egypt can't help Judah because Babylon already took care of those simps. Jerry is going to inform the Judeans about their upcoming capture. God reassures […]

Today on the Daily Bible Podcast, we are going to be reading the entirety of Habakkuk. He Questions God on why he's allowing so much suffering and using the Babylonians to cause suffering to his special chosen people. God reassures him by just telling him to wait it out and the situation will resolve itself. […]

Today on the Daily Bible Podcast, God is going to attempt a different kind of communication technologies in order to get through to his chosen people. He's going to have Jerry yell judgemental statements at them. Jerry is gonna tell Judah to watch out for Egypt. He's gonna tell Nacho, aka Egypt, to watch out […]

Today on the Daily Bible Podcast, Nacho Libre sets up a puppet government in Judah / Israel. He kidnaps the king and demands their lunch money. Then he selects a new King that will do what he says and he keeps the old king. Jerry comes back and drunkenly yells in a temple about how […]

Today on the Daily Bible Podcast, Josiah ends up finding the Lost Laws of Moses and begins to tear his clothes off his body like God demands of people. Some Hillbilly preacher found it under a couch in the Temple and let Josiah know they'd been not doing some things. So the Hillbilly preacher goes […]

Today, Jeremiah is getting a message from God about people inappropriately handling loads on the Sabbath. Only God dictates when loads get used and the Sabbath is not the time to blow those loads. God also talks to Jeremiah about pot(ttery). Then Jerry gets picked on by the other prophets who then let him god […]

Today on the Daily Bible Podcast, Jerry is going to tell God that he's a dirty liar. Jerry starts off tapping his foot at God because God isn't exactly moving quickly on the stuff he's telling Jerry to say. Jerry is getting bullied by the other Israelites and Judaeans so naturally, Jerry is a little […]

Today we have more of the same. But this time, God reveals that no amount of prayer is going to help, thus making prayer useless. God tells Jerry to hide a belt in some rocks and then come back and get it because that's how ruined Judah will be. Judaeans call out for help but […]

Today on the Daily Bible Podcast, God is going to get really mad about the Israelites and Judaeans worshiping Pagan idols and stuff. This is totally different from before when he was angry about worshiping pagan gods. This time god is serious and is going to throw a serious tantrum. They came in and destroyed […]

Today God is going to blame Israel for the fake news that prophets have been spreading. They have been buying into random guys going around saying they speak for God. They have to understand that it's only God's real random guys speaking for God that they have to listen to. Twitter: https://twitter.com/godlessengineer YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/godlessengineer Patreon: […]

Today on the Daily Bible Podcast, Jerry (Jeremiah) is going to spit literal fire at Judah and Israel. He gonna drop phat beats like a bad habit y'all. Real gangsta stuff. Amazing hits like “If you don't worship god correctly, he gonna smoke you fool” and “Put on potato sacks and get yourself dirty” followed […]

Today, God is going to set up Indiana Jones and the Ark of the Covenant. Jeremiah is back to his old tricks by saying that both Israel and Judah are going to suffer at the hand of God but they are really to blame. He compares them to cheating spouses again. Jerry ends up questioning […]

Today we are going to get into Jeremiah. Jeremiah was a child Prophet who was a prophet for 50 years. God knew him before his collection of cells started to form in his mother's womb. That says nothing about when he became alive just that God picked him before he existed. Israel is in a […]

Today God is going to have a really bad day full of punishment and pain. We are covering the entire book of Zephaniah. The entire book is a prophecy against Judah and how God is going to seriously mess them up. God introduces some new kinks he's become fond of and the child king Josiah […]

“ Today we get back to the Game of Thrones in the OT. Molasses is going to bite the dust and his son Eyymon is going to take up the throne. Eyymon does bad stuff for 2 years and then gets taken out by the Illuminaughty. Then his son becomes king at 8 years old […]

Today we are going over the entire book of Nahum. Nahum is basically another prophet of God who is going to spread the same message to a different set of people. This time it's Nineveh that has made God mad. Nineveh was one of the people groups that razed the Israelites. Basically, God is going […]

Today on the Daily Bible Podcast, God is going to tell us about the New Heaven and the New Earth. Apparently, babies won't needlessly die and neither will old white guys. No Sacrifices shall be had on the new heaven and new earth. Also, Isaiah dies and is sawed in two. Molasses is captured and […]

Today on the Daily Bible Podcast, God is going to tell Isaiah to let everyone know that he's going to marry the Israelites. Considering that the bulk of the people he's talking to are men that kind of seems a bit weird because of his proclivity to command against that kind of thing. Still, though, […]

Today on the Daily Bible Podcast, we are going to discuss God's qualifications for someone to be restored. God also covers why bad things happen to good people. Those that are worthy of restoration have to meet certain requirements. They definitely place blame on the children for the “”sins”” of their parents. Twitter: https://twitter.com/godlessengineer YouTube: […]

Today on the Daily Bible Podcast, God is going to tell us that he knows better than all of us so we should just trust and follow him. He also admits to a secret marriage with Israel in which he then abandoned his wife for some time. Only to be coming back with promises of […]

Today is Jesus Day on the Daily Bible Podcast. We are going to reveal the entirety of the New Testament laid out in the Old Testament. At least the Gospel and theology of Jesus Christ. This episode has everything. It's got BDSM gone wrong, more suffering than you can imagine, a horribly disfigured messiah, a […]

Today, we find out exactly how weird God's fashion sense is. He demands that the Israelites wear their children as ornaments. I don't understand why he wants that but apparently, that is what Thor-God demands. Also, some more Jesus foretelling with the BS that Isaiah has had to put up with. And God tells the […]

Today on the Daily Bible Podcast, we are still in Isaiah where God is really mad at the Judaeans and Israelites. He even goes as far as to desecrate all 12 astrological signs. Apparently, the Egyptians will be enslaved by Israel and God is going to continue to shame everyone…because he likes to do that. […]

Today God is going to get passive-aggressive with the Israelites and shame them for no reason. Also, Cyrus is going to make an appearance as the “”anointed one”” which is actually Jesus' title so he's gonna get a little jealous. We also have Isaiah who is going to go a little crazy. Twitter: https://twitter.com/godlessengineer YouTube: […]

Today on the Daily Bible Podcast, God becomes toxically bi-polar yet again. He emphasizes that the Israelites have no need to fear but that God is definitely going to mess them up. But don't worry because I'm gonna throw you into a fire… but it won't hurt you so it's ok. Twitter: https://twitter.com/godlessengineer YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/godlessengineer […]

Today on the Daily Bible Podcast, We have Isaiah who prophesizes John the Baptist and Jesus. Isaiah claims someone will come to make way for the Messiah. This is the same quote that John the Baptist later uses in the Gospels. This portion of Isaiah also references the coming of Jesus Christ. He also says […]

Today on the Daily Bible Podcast, Molasses takes over and becomes the Donald Trump of Judah. He wants to Make Judah Great Again by erecting high places for other gods and even stealing from God's own gold stash to make the other “”lesser”” Gods happy. Molasses is going to literally paint the town red in […]

Today on the Daily Bible Podcast, gets an extra 15 years as long as God reverses time. Heezee starts out by getting attacked by Assyria. They want his lunch money so Heezee pays them to step off. Then Heezee got sick and was gonna join his ancestral lineage. Luckily God found a +15 years card […]

Today on the Daily Bible Podcast, Isaiah's milkshake is going to bring all the boys to the yard and they're like…it's better than ya'lls. Darn right…it's better than ya'lls. Isaiah could teach you, but you'll have to praise god. Also, God loves to flip on the tambourine music as he abuses his people for his […]

Today, we find that God is sending Rambo Mufasa and Simba into Israel to take care of all the doppelgangers that have taken over. Also, God is going to have the Israelites and Judeans captured again because they done messed up too much. And the Assyrians beat the crap out of Samwise from the Lord […]

Today God is going to defend his confederate heritage by protecting his vineyard from the “dark ones.” God is also going to clear the way for Jacob to slay a bunch of women and have illegitimate children all over the middle east. Like any good daddy does. Twitter: https://twitter.com/godlessengineer YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/godlessengineer Subscribe to YouTube: http://SubToGE.com […]

Today on the Daily Bible Podcast, we are in Isaiah and we find that the Little Mermaid has made god so mad that he curses them for eternity…or something. Isaiah hands down a lot of judgment from God. He has a lot of analogies that are a little hard to understand. At one point he's […]

Today on the Daily Bible Podcast, Izzy is the hype man for Jesus and God again. Izzy seems to get excited over God's abuse of power. God basically firebombs people's houses but then offers them his place to stay which is confusing in general. Izzy talks about how Jesus will shelter everyone after God destroyed […]

Today on the Daily Bible Podcast, we are celebrating God's come back to Judah and Heezee is droppin some PHAT beats as DJ. He's playing all the hits. Ritualistic animal sacrifice, cleaning of God's temple, a bloody helicopter thing that sprays God's red juice everywhere, 7000 bulls that are not going to have a good […]

Today on the Daily Bible Podcast, God is going to give his wrath to Babylon and the Philistines. He's basically going to turn into Vaas from Far Cry 3 and just go to town on those places. Poor Philistines will be fine but he's going to kill the root of them so that they won't […]

Today on the Daily Bible Podcast, God's bloody “sword” is going to come through the clouds and descend upon Damascus as Isaiah continues his little fit. Apparently, both the morning and the night are going to happen at the same time. God is going to bathe his sword in the blood of his enemies as […]

Today on the Daily Bible Podcast, you need to hide yo kids, yo wife, everybody needs to hide because God is still really mad at everyone. First up on today's crap list is Assyria. They are gonna get messed up by God. God is gonna cause a bunch of stinking gas to fill the streets. […]

Today, Isaiah is going to talk about how J-DizzyDog is decked out and bedazzled in the spirit. He also mentions how much the Judaeans and Israelites have messed up. People attempt to kidnap the Judaens but luckily OH-DED comes in like the Butler from Mr. Deeds and tells them they may not want to do […]

Today we are going to see Isaiah talking about Jesus before he becomes Jesus. He prophesizes the Messiah to AHasAJob. Even talks about a virgin birth which later Jews would interpret to mean a literal virgin birth. We also have Isaiah telling AHasAJob that God is going to get vengeance for the bad stuff he's […]

Today is not a very long Daily Bible Podcast, Pikachu is going to lose his throne in Israel in the worst way. Another guy is gonna think he has a better plan for Israel. Meanwhile, in Judah, Jotham vacates the throne and his son AHasAJob rises up to take his place. AHasAJob does things that […]