Friend Crush with Amber Akilla

WELCOME TO SEASON SIX OF FRIEND CRUSHHHHH WOOO Join us as we delve into the transformative concept of emotional accountability/responsibility. Ever experienced a moment where a term perfectly encapsulates a significant aspect of your life? That's precisely how I felt when I began reflecting on emotional accountability. It goes beyond mere empathy; it's about recognising the role each of us plays in our own emotional experiences without expecting others to bear our burdens in unhealthy ways, you know what I mean? Often, it's this very aspect that hinders us from either maintaining or rekindling relationships with those who have let us down or disrespected us. Let's unravel the layers of emotional accountability and its profound implications on our interpersonal connections. LET ME KNOW YOUR THOUGHTS! article referenced: https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/peaceful-parenting/202007/the-emotionally-irresponsible-0 if you have a personal question you can send it to the @friend.crush IG page and it can be chosen to be answered in voice memo format. if you want a personalised answer via text please use this link ⁠https://direct.me/l/67j6⁠ subscribe for exclusive episodes & perks! ♡ ⁠https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/friend-crush/subscribe⁠ follow me ☆ https://instagram.com/amberakilla/ https://instagram.com/friend.crush/ https://www.tiktok.com/@amberakilla https://www.youtube.com/@amberakilla https://twitter.com/amberakilla https://soundcloud.com/amberakilla https://open.spotify.com/user/amberakilla --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/friend-crush/message

happy valentine's day bbs! here is a special DJ mix and Q&A episode of Friend Crush with Amber Akilla. i've pulled questions from various Tiktok lives and answered them in between tracks that embody the 'love, lust & loathing' theme. i had so much fun making this, i hope you enjoy!!! previous mixes are on soundcloud~ https://on.soundcloud.com/uCwPM soundcloud upload~ https://on.soundcloud.com/DMYKx lana del rey - in my feelings are my standards too high is there even such a thing? brent faiyaz - make luv my icks newjeans - hurt how can you tell the difference between love bombing and genuine love? alicia keys - girlfriend why do people compare themselves to their ex's new partner sza - blind dealing with someone who is confused about what they want sugababes - hole in the head yung lean - bliss ft. fka twigs any advice on how to stop gaslighting yourself, only to realize you were right? handsome boy modeling school - the truth ft. roisin murphy ft. j-live what do you think of men that romanticize hyper-independent women? kali uchis - ¿Cómo Así? whats the difference between forgiveness and settling? swv - use your heart  if you have a personal question you can send it to the @friend.crush IG page and it can be chosen to be answered in voice memo format. if you want a personalised answer via text please use this link ⁠https://direct.me/l/67j6⁠ subscribe for exclusive episodes & perks! ♡ ⁠https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/friend-crush/subscribe⁠ follow me ☆ https://instagram.com/amberakilla/ https://instagram.com/friend.crush/ https://www.tiktok.com/@amberakilla https://www.youtube.com/@amberakilla https://twitter.com/amberakilla https://soundcloud.com/amberakilla https://open.spotify.com/user/amberakilla --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/friend-crush/message

special treat for friend crush listeners ~ i've received a few messages like this one so i felt the wheels turning in my brain and generated this response. i definitely missed out a few things but i hope that this provides helpful perspective for anyone that relates to the situation described.  if you have a personal question you can send it to the @friend.crush IG page and it can be chosen to be answered in voice memo format. if you want a personalised answer via text please use this link ⁠https://direct.me/l/67j6⁠ subscribe for exclusive episodes & perks! ♡ ⁠https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/friend-crush/subscribe⁠ follow me ☆ https://instagram.com/amberakilla/ https://instagram.com/friend.crush/ https://www.tiktok.com/@amberakilla https://www.youtube.com/@amberakilla https://twitter.com/amberakilla https://soundcloud.com/amberakilla https://open.spotify.com/user/amberakilla --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/friend-crush/message

this episode might be triggering for anyone that's convinced themselves that they like being in a situationship so listen at your own risk :) subscribe for exclusive episodes & perks! ♡ ⁠https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/friend-crush/subscribe⁠ follow me ☆ https://instagram.com/amberakilla/ https://instagram.com/friend.crush/ https://www.tiktok.com/@amberakilla https://www.youtube.com/@amberakilla https://twitter.com/amberakilla https://soundcloud.com/amberakilla https://open.spotify.com/user/amberakilla --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/friend-crush/message

jealousyyyy is a disease fr - its a human experience, but one that when unmanaged can create more harm than good, mostly to yourself!!! how can we better understand and differentiate jealousy and envy we experience towards others and also when its directed towards us? articles referenced: https://kazmobrain.com/jealousy-definition-causes-treatment/ https://www.dictionary.com/e/jealousy-vs-envy/ subscribe for exclusive episodes & perks! ♡ ⁠https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/friend-crush/subscribe⁠ follow me ☆ https://instagram.com/amberakilla/ https://instagram.com/friend.crush/ https://www.tiktok.com/@amberakilla https://www.youtube.com/@amberakilla https://twitter.com/amberakilla https://soundcloud.com/amberakilla https://open.spotify.com/user/amberakilla --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/friend-crush/message

answering a listener message i received recently that prompted me to reflect on what it means to be a "high value woman" and my thoughts on this conversation that's been happening online, growth, trauma, grief and why people cheat. subscribe for exclusive episodes & perks! ♡ ⁠https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/friend-crush/subscribe⁠ follow me ☆ https://instagram.com/amberakilla/ https://instagram.com/friend.crush/ https://www.tiktok.com/@amberakilla https://www.youtube.com/@amberakilla https://twitter.com/amberakilla https://soundcloud.com/amberakilla https://open.spotify.com/user/amberakilla --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/friend-crush/message

i've done an episode on this before but i feel like its recently come up a lot in conversations with people in their early-mid 20s. my quarter life crisis was so intense but i feel like i've come out the other end better than i entered it so hopefully this gives you something to look forward to if you're going through this rn!! you are not alone

i think one of the best ways to develop healthier boundaries is to find activities that you care about that feel beneficial to you (keep you hot and having fun) and allow you to orient your schedule around them. it can't just be work because that's not always just for you, it needs to be a hobby! the dedication to investing time and or money to connecting with yourself is not only beneficial for you but also for how you show up in your relationships. on top of that it also provides an easy filter to see whether others are respectful of this hobby and by extension you and your time. subscribe for exclusive episodes & perks! ♡ ⁠https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/friend-crush/subscribe⁠ follow me ☆ https://instagram.com/amberakilla/ https://instagram.com/friend.crush/ https://www.tiktok.com/@amberakilla https://www.youtube.com/@amberakilla https://twitter.com/amberakilla https://soundcloud.com/amberakilla https://open.spotify.com/user/amberakilla --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/friend-crush/message

we previously talked about 'what do you get out of it' and recently i've been thinking about 'what do you have to offer' two sides of the same coin kinda. when we better understand who we are and what we contribute to relationships and situations, coupled with an awareness of how we want to live (hot & having fun philosophy), this also assists in how we can make more intentional decisions, better understand and assert boundaries and distance ourselves from connections and experiences that we're not compatible with. subscribe for exclusive episodes & perks! ♡ ⁠https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/friend-crush/subscribe⁠ follow me ☆ https://instagram.com/amberakilla/ https://instagram.com/friend.crush/ https://www.tiktok.com/@amberakilla https://www.youtube.com/@amberakilla https://twitter.com/amberakilla https://soundcloud.com/amberakilla https://open.spotify.com/user/amberakilla --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/friend-crush/message

self-deprecation can seem harmless at times but i feel like when taken to far it can really get in the way of your ability to grow and expand how you see yourself. wild the ways that we can be our own worst enemy! in this episode i discuss how i've come to better understand how to manage self-deprecation in ways that aren't self-destructive. subscribe for exclusive episodes & perks! ♡ ⁠https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/friend-crush/subscribe⁠ follow me ☆ https://instagram.com/amberakilla/ https://instagram.com/friend.crush/ https://www.tiktok.com/@amberakilla https://www.youtube.com/@amberakilla https://twitter.com/amberakilla https://soundcloud.com/amberakilla https://open.spotify.com/user/amberakilla --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/friend-crush/message

so often in life and in love we are bamboozled by other people's validation and desire and forget to ask 'what am i getting out of this', 'how do i feel' ?? this doesn't mean we have to be entirely self-serving but it also doesn't mean we have to be entirely self-sacrificial. i implore you to take a pause and consider this if you find yourself in a mental or emotional spiral over a person or situation. oftentimes we need to recognise the ways we have allowed for clownery in order to be hot and have fun!!! subscribe for exclusive episodes & perks! ♡ ⁠https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/friend-crush/subscribe⁠ follow me ☆ https://instagram.com/amberakilla/ https://instagram.com/friend.crush/ https://www.tiktok.com/@amberakilla https://www.youtube.com/@amberakilla https://twitter.com/amberakilla https://soundcloud.com/amberakilla https://open.spotify.com/user/amberakilla --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/friend-crush/message

i think its quite common for listeners of the podcast to be the 'friend group therapist' - the person that everyone goes to for advice when they're going through it. its not that you need to swing to the opposite end of the spectrum and cut people off at the slightest request for your attention but sometimes we need to consider the capacity to which you plug into other people's problems. i feel like i could talk about this topic forever but, here's a start! let me know what you think hehe --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/friend-crush/message

i've been thinking about the subtle difference between being offended and being disrespected - maybe in a general sense the difference doesn't matter to that many people but i think having an understanding for myself has allowed me to determine what is worth my energy, who is worth my time and what opportunities being offended or disrespected can actually provide in having more self-awareness. in other words - don't let haters stop you from being hot and having fun hehe subscribe for exclusive episodes & perks! ♡ ⁠https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/friend-crush/subscribe⁠ follow me ☆ https://instagram.com/amberakilla/ https://instagram.com/friend.crush/ https://www.tiktok.com/@amberakilla https://www.youtube.com/@amberakilla https://twitter.com/amberakilla https://soundcloud.com/amberakilla https://open.spotify.com/user/amberakilla --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/friend-crush/message

GIRL CONFESSIONSSS this episode was so fun to record, "Sarah" and I have been internet friends for some time now and we barely scratched the surface in this conversation. we cover her experiences on hinge, one of her icks, age gaps in dating, who is expected to pay on the first date, friends to lovers, growing up and dating as a woman of colour in australia and more!!! i hope you enjoyed this episode, let me know what you thought and if you want more episodes with Sarah and/or more girl confessions epsiodes in general !!! subscribe for exclusive episodes & perks! ♡ ⁠https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/friend-crush/subscribe⁠ follow me ☆ https://instagram.com/amberakilla/ https://instagram.com/friend.crush/ https://www.tiktok.com/@amberakilla https://www.youtube.com/@amberakilla https://twitter.com/amberakilla https://soundcloud.com/amberakilla https://open.spotify.com/user/amberakilla --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/friend-crush/message

our first boy confessions episode for the season!! 'christopher' just turned 30 and is currently taking some time off from his tech job to rest and reflect. we discuss his dating expectations, how his views on dating and relationships have changed, whether "the spark" is a real thing, dating as a scapegoat from big life changes... and more, i hope you enjoy! let me know what you thought of this episode! subscribe for exclusive episodes & perks! ♡ ⁠https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/friend-crush/subscribe⁠ follow me ☆ https://instagram.com/amberakilla/ https://instagram.com/friend.crush/ https://www.tiktok.com/@amberakilla https://www.youtube.com/@amberakilla https://twitter.com/amberakilla https://soundcloud.com/amberakilla https://open.spotify.com/user/amberakilla --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/friend-crush/message

my current thoughts, feelings and understandings around boundaries, how they differ from standards, expectations, preferences and conditions. 'boundaries' is a term that is thrown around the same way 'authentic' is but just because people throw a word around doesn't really mean they understand, let alone practice what they preach hehe subscribe for exclusive episodes & perks! ♡ ⁠https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/friend-crush/subscribe⁠ follow me ☆ https://instagram.com/amberakilla/ https://instagram.com/friend.crush/ https://www.tiktok.com/@amberakilla https://www.youtube.com/@amberakilla https://twitter.com/amberakilla https://soundcloud.com/amberakilla https://open.spotify.com/user/amberakilla --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/friend-crush/message

you know i feel like so much of my 20s has been about 'what' am i doing with my life, but in the last few years i've focused more on 'how' i am experiencing life, 'am i enjoying myself?' aka am i being hot and having fun and if not, how does a life well lived feel and look like to me and how can i take intentional action towards it? how can i balance portfolio interests with personal interests at different stages and eras rather than thinking that personal fulfilment is dependent on portfolio and professional success? subscribe for exclusive episodes & perks! ♡ ⁠https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/friend-crush/subscribe⁠ follow me ☆ https://instagram.com/amberakilla/ https://instagram.com/friend.crush/ https://www.tiktok.com/@amberakilla https://www.youtube.com/@amberakilla https://twitter.com/amberakilla https://soundcloud.com/amberakilla https://open.spotify.com/user/amberakilla --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/friend-crush/message

tale as old as time... you know "what's best" for someone and for some reason they're not doing what needs to be done to be better???? WHYYYYYYY subscribe for exclusive episodes & perks! ♡ ⁠https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/friend-crush/subscribe⁠ follow me ☆ https://instagram.com/amberakilla/ https://instagram.com/friend.crush/ https://www.tiktok.com/@amberakilla https://www.youtube.com/@amberakilla https://twitter.com/amberakilla https://soundcloud.com/amberakilla https://open.spotify.com/user/amberakilla --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/friend-crush/message

welcome welcome back to friend crush!!! can't believe its season five! i started this podcast during the pandemic as a creative outlet after having my original plans for 2020 cancelled, it became a way for me to process and organise my thoughts in the most cute, chaotic and critical way that i can manage. i made it back to shanghai last year and released season four after a few months of being back. its been almost a year since i've been back and i'm so excited to be sharing the next season with you! this episode is just a general welcome and thought dump on things i've been reflecting on recently after having recorded about half of the season before i work on the next episodes. hope everyone has been well !! missed you !!! lots of love, amber xoxo subscribe for exclusive episodes & perks! ♡ https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/friend-crush/subscribe follow me ☆ https://instagram.com/amberakilla/ https://instagram.com/friend.crush/ https://www.tiktok.com/@amberakilla https://www.youtube.com/@amberakilla https://twitter.com/amberakilla https://soundcloud.com/amberakilla https://open.spotify.com/user/amberakilla --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/friend-crush/message

wow i can't believe we're up to the 70th episode of friend crush!!! thank you so much for tuning in, sending your feedback, sending questions and topic suggestions and sharing with your friends! i'm actually so shook and can't that you enough! we're going to go on a lil breaky break over the northern hemisphere summer so i can focus on other projects and prepare for the next season. wishing everyone a slay time in the meantime!!! this week's episode i also answer a listener question about transitioning career at age 24, tune in to hear my thoughts n feelings. lots of love!!!! ♡ amber ask me a question~ receive a written pep talk from me! https://direct.me/l/67j6 follow me ☆ https://instagram.com/amberakilla/ https://www.tiktok.com/@amberakilla https://www.youtube.com/@amberakilla https://twitter.com/amberakilla https://soundcloud.com/amberakilla https://open.spotify.com/user/amberak... listen to my podcast ♡  https://anchor.fm/friend-crush https://instagram.com/friend.crush/ --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/friend-crush/message

there's a difference between a broken heart and a bruised ego when it comes to breakups - friendship, work, romantic or otherwise. how we process and move on from different ailments requires different treatments! ask me a question~ receive a written pep talk from me! https://direct.me/l/67j6 follow me ☆ https://instagram.com/amberakilla/ https://www.tiktok.com/@amberakilla https://www.youtube.com/@amberakilla https://twitter.com/amberakilla https://soundcloud.com/amberakilla https://open.spotify.com/user/amberak... listen to my podcast ♡  https://anchor.fm/friend-crush https://instagram.com/friend.crush/ --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/friend-crush/message Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/friend-crush/support

they broke your trust? you DO NOT break no contact. STAND UP! SUBSCRIBE N COMMENT ON YOUTUBE PLS xoxo ask me a question~ receive a written pep talk from me! https://direct.me/l/67j6 follow me ☆ https://instagram.com/amberakilla/ https://www.tiktok.com/@amberakilla https://www.youtube.com/@amberakilla https://twitter.com/amberakilla https://soundcloud.com/amberakilla https://open.spotify.com/user/amberak... listen to my podcast ♡  https://anchor.fm/friend-crush https://instagram.com/friend.crush/ --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/friend-crush/message Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/friend-crush/support

what are my thoughts on long distance relationships? is it worth the mental, emotional and financial investment? i discuss using my personal experience with long distance relationships and also reflect on where i'm at now when it comes to what i would want from a romantic commitment. let me know what you thought of this episode and don't forget you can also watch, like, comment and subscribe to friend crush on youtube! ⁠https://www.youtube.com/@amberakilla⁠ ask me a question~ receive a written pep talk from me! https://direct.me/l/67j6 follow me ☆ https://instagram.com/amberakilla/ https://www.tiktok.com/@amberakilla https://www.youtube.com/@amberakilla https://twitter.com/amberakilla https://soundcloud.com/amberakilla https://open.spotify.com/user/amberak... listen to my podcast ♡  https://anchor.fm/friend-crush https://instagram.com/friend.crush/ --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/friend-crush/message Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/friend-crush/support

this week's episode i attempted to answer multiple questions but only managed to answer two lol first we discuss how to start developing discipline and creating habits, how i personally managed to start being more consistent with grounding practices. secondly we talk about whether there is a binary choice between living with family and saving money or moving out and working full time. i also want to add to this section that working full time while living at home and being able to save money is a privilege in this economy and it's not something to be ashamed of. the world we were promised growing up is not the reality we are living in anymore. as always, let me know what you think of the episode!! also sub and comment on the youtube episode please hehe ⁠https://www.youtube.com/@amberakilla⁠ ask me a question~ receive a written pep talk from me! https://direct.me/l/67j6 follow me ☆ https://instagram.com/amberakilla/ https://www.tiktok.com/@amberakilla https://www.youtube.com/@amberakilla https://twitter.com/amberakilla https://soundcloud.com/amberakilla https://open.spotify.com/user/amberak... listen to my podcast ♡  https://anchor.fm/friend-crush https://instagram.com/friend.crush/ --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/friend-crush/message Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/friend-crush/support

too often we're made to feel like love and career are incompatible but i think that's an illusion. love can come from so many sources not just romance and different chapters and relationships in your life will facilitate different kinds of love and fulfilment. there's more to life than settling down, there's more to live for than romantic love and your journey will be unique to you! stay hot and having fun!!! ask me a question~ receive a written pep talk from me! https://direct.me/l/67j6 follow me ☆ https://instagram.com/amberakilla/ https://www.tiktok.com/@amberakilla https://www.youtube.com/@amberakilla https://twitter.com/amberakilla https://soundcloud.com/amberakilla https://open.spotify.com/user/amberak... listen to my podcast ♡  https://anchor.fm/friend-crush https://instagram.com/friend.crush/ --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/friend-crush/message Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/friend-crush/support

exploring an actually quite complex topic in today's episode which i will continue to turn over in my mind. what do you do when your political values with a friend start to diverge into almost incompatible territories? on the one hand i think that its important to detach from the direction relationships can take and do your best to have empathy for others, while i also recognize that certain political views can be especially harmful to society when they go unchecked, then on top of that - to what degree are we responsible and can we control what ideas people attach to? i don't really have an answer but i do my best to scratch at least the surface of this dynamic, prompted by messages from a listener. let me know what you thought of this episode! i think there will be a lot more to discuss and expand on in future episodes~ ask me a question~ receive a written pep talk from me! https://direct.me/l/67j6 follow me ☆ https://instagram.com/amberakilla/ https://www.tiktok.com/@amberakilla https://www.youtube.com/@amberakilla https://twitter.com/amberakilla https://soundcloud.com/amberakilla https://open.spotify.com/user/amberak... listen to my podcast ♡ https://anchor.fm/friend-crush https://instagram.com/friend.crush/ --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/friend-crush/message Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/friend-crush/support

look, i go on a few tangents in this one but we're discussing betrayal trauma, sinophobia and then answering a question from a listener about how to manage expectations when working on personal creative projects versus client/ commercial projects. let me know what you thought of this episode!!! ask me a question~ receive a written pep talk from me! https://direct.me/l/67j6 follow me ☆ https://instagram.com/amberakilla/ https://www.tiktok.com/@amberakilla https://www.youtube.com/@amberakilla https://twitter.com/amberakilla https://soundcloud.com/amberakilla https://open.spotify.com/user/amberak... listen to my podcast ♡ https://anchor.fm/friend-crush https://instagram.com/friend.crush/ --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/friend-crush/message Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/friend-crush/support

you know what... its ok to not have the answer sometimes!!! quick thoughts on being patient with yourself, managing anxiety and letting time to pass so that things can fall into place. believe that what you want is already yours! if you're taking action and doing your best, trust that there are forces beyond your comprehension that will bring you in contact with people and opportunities that can make it happen. easier said than done of course, but worth a reminder every now and then. ask me a question~ receive a written pep talk from me! https://direct.me/l/67j6 follow me ☆ https://instagram.com/amberakilla/ https://www.tiktok.com/@amberakilla https://www.youtube.com/@amberakilla https://twitter.com/amberakilla https://soundcloud.com/amberakilla https://open.spotify.com/user/amberak... listen to my podcast ♡ https://anchor.fm/friend-crush https://instagram.com/friend.crush/ --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/friend-crush/message Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/friend-crush/support

sharing my thoughts and reflections on messages i've received about how to navigate the post-break up period and virtual/digital relationships that don't eventuate with in-person meetings. with some expected tangents and rambles hehe ask me a question~ receive a written pep talk from me! https://direct.me/l/67j6 follow me ☆ https://instagram.com/amberakilla/ https://www.tiktok.com/@amberakilla https://www.youtube.com/@amberakilla https://twitter.com/amberakilla https://soundcloud.com/amberakilla https://open.spotify.com/user/amberak... listen to my podcast ♡ https://anchor.fm/friend-crush https://instagram.com/friend.crush/ --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/friend-crush/message Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/friend-crush/support

sharing my thoughts on "de-influencing" which i refer to as "mindful consumption" ~ if you've listened to previous episodes of the podcast on skincare and self-care, i've always found that knowing i can do something that's good for me at a low cost is weirdly empowering in this capitalist hellscape that we live in lol not that i think making or spending money is "bad" but i think there's a balance to be struck with everything and more empowering/sustainable perspectives to have when it comes to anything, especially our consumption. you don't need to pressure yourself to be perfect, being aware and intentional is better than being mindless and ignorant! buy everything on sale finish existing products before purchasing new products lifestyle first, products second break the trend cycle know what you're working with do what you enjoy not what you feel you have to do manage the accounts your follow/ content you consume invest in hobbies and experiences instead of just things get a handle on vices/addictions --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/friend-crush/message Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/friend-crush/support

hello angels!! i'm sharing my thoughts around video titles and subjects where people think they've wasted their life. although i understand the sentiment of these videos i think that sometimes they can be disempowering and there are other ways we can frame and understand our experience of life! sliving requires slearning - some lessons take us longer to learn than others and although there is a time and place to be competitive, its not a competition with others, its a journey and a story that we are writing for ourselves and hopefully with the people we love and care about!!! video version on youtube! https://www.youtube.com/@amberakilla ask me a question~receive a written pep talk from me! https://direct.me/l/67j6 follow me ☆ https://instagram.com/amberakilla/ https://www.tiktok.com/@amberakilla https://www.youtube.com/@amberakilla https://twitter.com/amberakilla https://soundcloud.com/amberakilla https://open.spotify.com/user/amberak... https://instagram.com/friend.crush/ --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/friend-crush/message Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/friend-crush/support

let's talk about how i've changed my understanding of people pleasing and what it means as well as how you building awareness around how you are treated vs how you want to be treated is important in taking action to living a slay life!!! also i'm going to continue to try and update audio podcast bc i don't want to gatekeep and i don't want ppl to drive and get distracted with video!!! takes forever to upload video podcasts so i'll just upload audio versions and then you have option of videos on youtube too hehe subscribe to my youtubeeee https://www.youtube.com/@amberakilla ask me a question~recieve a written pep talk from me! https://direct.me/l/67j6 follow me ☆ https://instagram.com/amberakilla/ https://www.tiktok.com/@amberakilla https://twitter.com/amberakilla https://soundcloud.com/amberakilla https://open.spotify.com/user/amberak... listen to my podcast ♡ https://anchor.fm/friend-crush https://instagram.com/friend.crush/ --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/friend-crush/message

let's talk about HEART BREAKKKK and the period between a break up and actually moving on - does your ex come back? does it matter if they do? sharing my own thoughts and feelings along with some comments i received on tiktok videos i've made on this topic. SUBSCRIBE ON YOUTUBE PLS https://www.youtube.com/@amberakilla i said i wouldn't update podcast audio but ppl have said they still like listening on audio platforms so i'll try my best to update here too xx ask me a question~recieve a written pep talk from me! https://direct.me/l/67j6 follow me ☆ https://instagram.com/amberakilla/ https://www.tiktok.com/@amberakilla https://twitter.com/amberakilla https://soundcloud.com/amberakilla https://open.spotify.com/user/amberak... 13:45 when they come back/ what you realize when they come back 18:21 importance of journalling in healing 20:33 minimum a year for someone to change 21:21 why do you wanna be w someone that needs to lose you 23:00 dating for association 26:45 they come back 27:00 you want to meet as new people 28:53 rebuilding your sense of self 30:25 when they're dating someone new and still slide in the dms lol 38:21 being on the same team 41:38 comments from tiktok 44:45 being intentionally single 1:00:00 take how people treat others into consideration love and heartbreak embracing good and bad running from your emotions love and heartbreak are inextricably linked how do you really know someone grieving potential processing your grief building a new sense of self when they come back while dating someone new being vulnerable and learning to trust yourself lingering pain after breakups bad apologies being intentionally single and alone why do people change --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/friend-crush/message

welcome backkkkk - a lil q&a for y'all ! maybe i do this once a month?? let me know what you think ! ask me a question~receive a written pep talk from me! https://direct.me/l/67j6 the podcast is moving to video format!! make sure to subscribe *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧ https://www.youtube.com/@amberakilla follow me ☆ https://instagram.com/amberakilla/ https://www.tiktok.com/@amberakilla https://twitter.com/amberakilla https://soundcloud.com/amberakilla https://open.spotify.com/user/amberak... https://instagram.com/friend.crush/ 3:35 dating your best friend's brother? 4:32 - releasing fear around people pleasing 10:02 - experience being a content creator 13:14 - incels vs temporary celibacy 21:34 - dating someone that's still close friends with an ex 24:41 - making new friends in a new city 28:37 - trying to be friends with someone you were previously involved with 32:22 my thoughts on law school and tertiary education --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/friend-crush/message

ranting about gaps in communication hehehe sometimes i think we overlook how important it is to become aware of the ways we share our reality and how we connect with others and build relationships. i discuss a framework/formula that i think helps to structure communication for any relationship context - friendship, romance, work - and then go on a bunch of tangents as usual. maybe social media has us living in our heads and creates the illusion that people are privy to what's going on in our noggin... when they don't lmk what u think ! subscribe to my youtube ☆ all future long form content will be here! https://www.youtube.com/@amberakilla follow me ☆ https://instagram.com/amberakilla/ https://www.tiktok.com/@amberakilla https://twitter.com/amberakilla https://soundcloud.com/amberakilla https://open.spotify.com/user/amberak... --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/friend-crush/message

welcome to the second boy confessions episode!!! this episode provides a perspective that is so different to the previous episode, i hope you enjoy! "Ash" is in his early mid-30s living in LA - we cover his thoughts on the notorious pick up artist bible "The Game", authenticity in dating, dating apps, how his first love has affected his expectations in dating, how he has become aware of his people pleasing tendencies, understanding communication issues in relationships, deciding what kind of commitment - if at all he is looking for. SO MANY THINGS!! let me know what you think of this episode ♡ follow me ☆ https://instagram.com/amberakilla/ https://instagram.com/friend.crush/ https://www.tiktok.com/@amberakilla https://www.youtube.com/@amberakilla https://twitter.com/amberakilla https://soundcloud.com/amberakilla https://open.spotify.com/user/amberakilla --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/friend-crush/message

i loved this conversation i had with actress, writer and content creator Nadine Milad - grab a snack and get comfy because we cover soo much in this episode from ghosting, authenticity online, friend break-ups, being recovering people pleasers and so much more. let me know what you thought of this episode and if Nadine and I should do more episodes together! i'm gonna be on youtube moreeee make sure to subscribe please *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧ https://www.youtube.com/@amberakilla follow nadine ☆ https://www.tiktok.com/@nadinemilad https://www.instagram.com/nadinemilad_/ https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC2s6ip6nmO_IYnN22CSbkiA https://open.spotify.com/show/0l4RZ0080MpPY1PETgeHd1?si=c3127e4f799246b1 follow me ☆ https://instagram.com/amberakilla/ https://instagram.com/friend.crush/ https://www.tiktok.com/@amberakilla https://www.youtube.com/@amberakilla https://twitter.com/amberakilla https://soundcloud.com/amberakilla https://open.spotify.com/user/amberakilla --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/friend-crush/message

part two of the quarter life crisis discussion ~ i read some submissions from listeners on the topic and provide my perspective and thoughts. i actually think in the months since recording these episodes i care even less about age and more about being hot and having fun!!! it's natural to feel external pressures on the timeline of your life, but your life is for you to define! would love to hear your thoughts on this topic please feel free to write to meeee! xx i'm gonna be on youtube moreeee make sure to subscribe please *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧ https://www.youtube.com/@amberakilla follow me ☆ https://instagram.com/amberakilla/ https://instagram.com/friend.crush/ https://www.tiktok.com/@amberakilla https://www.youtube.com/@amberakilla https://twitter.com/amberakilla --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/friend-crush/message

part one in a series of episodes where i discuss the quarter life crisis and pre-30 panic. i've thought about this a lot as i get to the tail end of my 20s so i'm sharing my thoughts here with you! books mentioned: six pillars of self esteem https://amzn.to/3xAzl3r follow me ☆ https://instagram.com/amberakilla/ https://instagram.com/friend.crush/ https://www.tiktok.com/@amberakilla https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCqq8YNQ2GXEC9hSvQpiGiqQ/featured https://twitter.com/amberakilla --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/friend-crush/message

keep your expectations low, your standards high.... & don't feel like you need to reward the bare minimum!!! slightly modifying a saying that i've carried with me through the years. how could i have held myself back like this!!?? anyways, we slive and slearn and level tf up. books mentioned six pillars of self esteem https://amzn.to/3xAzl3r follow me ☆ https://instagram.com/amberakilla/ https://instagram.com/friend.crush/ https://www.tiktok.com/@amberakilla https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCqq8YNQ2GXEC9hSvQpiGiqQ/featured https://twitter.com/amberakilla --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/friend-crush/message

so excited to share the first boy confessions episode!!! anonymously interviewing men so they can share honest reflections, opinions and experiences on masculinity, life, love, friendship, work and more. “Timothee” - 33 is Asian-American, born and raised in Los Angeles and currently living in Shanghai working as a creative director for an international brand. in this episode we discuss the influence of women on his life, being single for five years before his current relationship as well as his advice for men and women on what to do when a guy withdraws from a relationship or connection. i ask him questions he's never been asked about infidelity and cheating and we explore how his views around traditional long term commitment have changed over time. thank you to my guest for coming on the show, we had so much fun recording this episode and hope you enjoy it too! apologies in advance for the noise in the recording :') follow me ☆ https://instagram.com/amberakilla/ https://instagram.com/friend.crush/ https://www.tiktok.com/@amberakilla https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCqq8YNQ2GXEC9hSvQpiGiqQ/featured https://twitter.com/amberakilla --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/friend-crush/message

what's the difference between a friend with benefits and a booty call? is it worth risking a friendship? do they even make sense??? lets discuss lol follow me ☆ https://instagram.com/amberakilla/ https://instagram.com/friend.crush/ https://www.tiktok.com/@amberakilla https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCqq8YNQ2GXEC9hSvQpiGiqQ/featured https://twitter.com/amberakilla --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/friend-crush/message

discussing the ways my understanding of friendship has changed as i've gotten older. what's the difference between an inner and outer circle? how to allow space in relationships rather than taking incompatibilities personally and how to deal with friend breakups. follow me ☆ https://instagram.com/amberakilla/ https://instagram.com/friend.crush/ https://www.tiktok.com/@amberakilla https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCqq8YNQ2GXEC9hSvQpiGiqQ/featured https://twitter.com/amberakilla --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/friend-crush/message

every now and then i post something random/unhinged and someone asks me 'how do you get over being cringe?' HAHAH anyways here are some of my thoughts and reflections on how i process my insecurities and try to develop a stronger sense of self. how awareness of our insecurities can be seen as a blessing, grounding practices, exposure therapy, holding space for our contradictions and why cringing at your former self is important for self growth! there's still so much to say but i hope that this helps provide perspective! follow me ☆ https://instagram.com/amberakilla/ https://instagram.com/friend.crush/ https://www.tiktok.com/@amberakilla https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCqq8YNQ2GXEC9hSvQpiGiqQ/featured https://twitter.com/amberakilla --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/friend-crush/message

thank you for asking questions! this is part two of my answers ~ in this episode we cover: how much of yourself to give in dating, people pleasing being friends with an ex that hasn't told their new partner about you what i've learnt this summer books i've read the road less travelled https://amzn.to/3UibDCS six pillars of self esteem https://amzn.to/3xAzl3r mind f*ck https://amzn.to/3LpOSsD stolen focus https://amzn.to/3eYsHxs what do i think about pop culture rn dating in this economy catering to yourself after catering to others goals in life and therapy culture shock moving to and returning to shanghai relationship status anxiety episodes mentioned: 32 - training for a breakup 41 - therapy follow me ☆ https://instagram.com/amberakilla/ https://instagram.com/friend.crush/ https://www.tiktok.com/@amberakilla https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCqq8YNQ2GXEC9hSvQpiGiqQ/featured https://twitter.com/amberakilla --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/friend-crush/message

bonus episode to celebrate the first week of friend crush season four! answering questions that were submitted to me in the last few weeks. in this episode we cover how to discern between your thoughts and beliefs, how to discern between what you need and what you think you need against other people's expectations, dating after a first love and what to do when you realise someone you were into was future faking. episodes mentioned: 32 - training for a breakup follow me ☆ https://instagram.com/amberakilla/ https://instagram.com/friend.crush/ https://www.tiktok.com/@amberakilla https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCqq8YNQ2GXEC9hSvQpiGiqQ/featured https://twitter.com/amberakilla --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/friend-crush/message

hello my sweet angels!!! i'm so happy to be back for season four of friend crush!!! the last few months have been such a wild ride and this episode is a life update/vibe check ~ sliving, sloving, slaughing and slearning ~ thank you so much for your patience, encouragement and support! lots of love xoxoxox --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/friend-crush/message

thank you for supporting friend crush so far! i'm eternally grateful!! answering some questions asked on IG in honor of this final episode for the season. i talk about how to recognize your own toxicity, what to do when you don't approve of a friend's relationship, what to do when your parents don't approve of your decisions, how to deal with confrontation and more! if you've gotten anything out of friend crush you can support the next season of the podcast here! https://www.paypal.com/donate/?hosted_button_id=Q24CZ2E2HZPBW follow me ☆ https://instagram.com/amberakilla/ https://instagram.com/friend.crush/ https://www.tiktok.com/@amberakilla https://twitter.com/amberakilla music & mixes ☼ latest mix: https://soundcloud.com/amberakilla/love-lust-loathing-2022 https://soundcloud.com/amberakilla https://open.spotify.com/user/amberakilla --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/friend-crush/message

sharing my personal experiences with therapy and the approach i've taken. not diagnostic by any means but hopefully this can assist you in your own approach or journey! The Six Pillars of Self Esteem by Nathaniel Branden https://amzn.to/3D7Dmgx The Road Less Travelled by M. Scott Peck https://amzn.to/3DbJdkU How To Do the Work by Dr. Nicole LePera https://www.amazon.com/How-Do-Work-Recognize-Patterns/dp/006301209X follow me ☆ https://instagram.com/amberakilla/ https://instagram.com/friend.crush/ https://www.tiktok.com/@amberakilla https://twitter.com/amberakilla music & mixes ☼ latest mix: https://soundcloud.com/amberakilla/love-lust-loathing-2022 https://soundcloud.com/amberakilla https://open.spotify.com/user/amberakilla --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/friend-crush/message

kicki is a chinese born artist and influencer based in berlin. we talk about her experience growing up in germany, working as an artist and influencer, how her creative hobbies have become her career, how she balances creativity with client needs and how she met her boyfriend ♡ follow kicki ✧ https://www.instagram.com/kickiyangz/ https://www.tiktok.com/@kickiyangz follow me ☆ https://instagram.com/amberakilla/ https://instagram.com/friend.crush/ https://www.tiktok.com/@amberakilla https://twitter.com/amberakilla music & mixes ☼ latest mix: https://soundcloud.com/amberakilla/love-lust-loathing-2022 https://soundcloud.com/amberakilla https://open.spotify.com/user/amberakilla --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/friend-crush/message

first episode in what i hope can be a lil sub-series! sharing bite-sized thoughts and reflections on breakups, boundaries, i give advice for a question regarding replying on hinge and my newly coined term - the digital restraining order. please leave a question, comment or voice message for me to share in future episodes! they don't have to be directly related to this episode and will be referred to anonymously. episodes referenced: 32 - training for a breakup 23 - not having standards is bad for society 38 - w/ derrick gee 28 - digital distancing 36 - breadcrumbing & orbiting 35 - you are hot and having fun !!! follow me ☆ https://instagram.com/amberakilla/ https://instagram.com/friend.crush/ https://www.tiktok.com/@amberakilla https://twitter.com/amberakilla music & mixes ☼ latest mix: https://soundcloud.com/amberakilla/love-lust-loathing-2022 https://soundcloud.com/amberakilla https://open.spotify.com/user/amberakilla --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/friend-crush/message