It's All My Fault

More recording myself on multiple hits of acid. As expected, this one turns out for the unexpected. And not in a good way.Not in a baaad way either.Just in its own way.The way I can turn an attempt to apologize for regularly derailing my thought trains so much that circuitous tail chasing of non-sequitor conclusions is what most listeners suffer - I turn that moment of self-reflection into another derailment that so completely wrecks the train you'll feel pain from the incident. Especially for any GenZeez among us.Ha!As if!As for the Boomers, the X-ers and even any Millennials... proceed only if disappointment is your goal. Otherwise you have to be able to find something better to do with your time than spend any of it messing around with this episode. Right?Yes. Right.Again, you've been warned.AGAIN.It's you I'm talking to here...TensHUnsRye.ziNgEpisode 31 of 53

Over 70 minutes of me diatribing in this one and it's only now, as I craft my description, that I realized I never even discussed the topic on which I planned to focus. It was to be the bulk of the episode and I forgot all about it. I wish I could say I'm in a state of disbelief that such a disconnect could even happen... but we all know better. Even you, new face that you are around here. You should know that 65.126% of the 506 episodes recorded prior to today's suffered the same fate. Am I surprised? Nope. Not at all. These stumblenbumblen efforts of mediocre thought tangenting get so snarled and disjointed by WtF distraction after WtF distraction that any conclusions I reach rarely apply to the point of interest I raised originally. So much so that you might think never finishing a thought is in fact a feature. Not a bug. Which should be enough for you to abandon this ship asap. Forget you let it get this far. It's the best decision you can make for yourself given your overall frailty as a homo sapien sapien. You know I'm right... right? Yet here you are, still reading this useless, unrelated-to-the-episode description hoping to figure out if a listen is in order... right? Nope. Not at all. Less than 15 minutes into it you won't be able to deny you're wasting your time. Get to the half-hour mark and you'll be forced to admit that I still haven't made a point of any value or framed an issue in a way that resonated with you.. Trust me.Or don't. I'm not one to tell you how to live your life. Listen to all of it on repeat, forever, if your superior constitution wants a challenge. I'm not your mother. You owe me zero respect whatsoever. Your respect is not why I'm here.Nope. Not at all. For this particular lifetime, I'm only here to help. Simple. While being as kind and understanding as I can possibly be in every action I initiate, whether meticulously planned or completely spontaneous. Still simple. Outcomes on Earth v867.5309 are chaotic and random by design, so forgiving myself, as well as you, the CIA, Catholic priests, whoever turned in Luigi Mangione, Jeffrey Epstein, the YouTube censors, Wall Street bankers, the Royal Family, dirty cops, Anthony Fauci and any other homo sapien sapien whose results were so heinous they threatened to permanently stain humanity's soul... that is also part of the deal. Still simple. Whether done purposefully, magnanimously, unthinkingly, maliciously, naively, faithfully, recklessly, legally, passively, underhandedly, disrespectfully, repeatedly, valiantly, responsively, defensively, ineptly, unawaredly or even accidentally - matters not at all to me - my response is the same: find a path to forgiveness in all situations. No exceptions. Have I killed your momentum to proceed here? ...? ...???!! You did say yes didn't you?!?? ?!?!?!!??! TensHUnsRye.ziNgEpisode 30 of 53

This weekend has been on my radar since the beginning of November. In December it grew even more ominous with my father's passing.Then, over the past 3 weeks, this weekend's disruptive potential escalated into the mythical.For me.And just for me.Not for you.I shouldn't think.Other people, you for instance, are getting through this weekend without a second thought about humanity's destiny and the meaning derived from overcoming the obstacles suddenly thrust into our collective lives this century. In fact the angst I work through in this recording is uniquely mine. Mostly because I'm the only knucklehead capable of tripping into this particular mud puddle of misinterpretation... but for other reasons too.As such, it's time you found something better to do with your life than listening to this episode don't ya think?If you, mistakenly, decide to proceed, well... your opinion of me will surely diminish.And likely of yourself as well. Do you really want to take that chance? TensHUnsRye.ziNgEpisode 29 of 53

Yeah, I'm back. And yeah I'm pissed. And yeah life has dipsy-doodled my flighty ass all over the place... and yeah that doesn't feel so good. But that's nothing compared to the bad behavior the boys are up to... oy vey! TensHUnsRye.ziNg Episode 28 of 53

Let's get one thing straight here... this recording is mediocre. Undeniably. Totally my fault. But there it is.Got it?Okay.Of course, if that's your thing, and if you're an American I expect it likely is... feel free to proceed.For anyone else - you've been warned.TensHUnsRye.ziNgEpisode 27 of 53

I'm back in solo form here. Reluctantly. All thanks to... my stupid Android phone. I hate to admit this publicly, but I don't know if this droid is the droid I'm looking for. I know society thinks we're perfect together. Building forever's foundation hand in hand 60/60/24/7/365/9.2. I hear the encouragement from all you happily connected phoners.I hear how well it's working out for everyone around me, Well, mostly when you decide to look up and talk to me. So yeah... I'll be over there waiting...Still... I've got serious doubts. I'm sure now that this is not the partner I want in life. In fact, I may be done with wireless phones entirely. I know I'm close. And yes.I'm being serious. For once. The "reach out and touch someone" relationship just ain't what it used to be. Amirite AT&T? Hell yeah I am. AT&T knows I'm rightAnd you know it too. So quit pretending you don't! TensHUnsRye.ziNg Episode 26 of 53

Finally! AMiRite? OhYesiAm.Not that things didn't happen exactly when they were supposed to - I get all that and don't want to seem unclear about how life's meandering meanings are built from within.But, to say I've been hotly anticipating this one is truly the understatement of the year. And it's been one surreal year. AMiRite? OhYesiAm.So it is with the untethered zest of someone who should watch out for all the overtalking they did in this recording that I welcome you to hear from the only person I know on this planet willing to call me her friend.As allies go, this one's a rising sun.AMiRite? OhYesiAm. Oh. Yes. I. Am.TensHUnsRye.ziNgEpisode 25 of 53

All right, awl right, all write. (No coypright infringement intended, even if implied). Hello universe! How are we doing? Outstandingly? Booyah. It must be the weather. Fall is so awesome. I all but forget about October's grandeur, its spectacle of transitions through the pallette of Earth tones we're all treated to once a year... until it's here. Like right now. Again. Booyah. And let's not forget to wish everyone a happy 501! Me included!! In celebration of starting a new half-millenium here at It's All My Fault, I'm going to go find a pair of old Levi's 501 jeans that, even though I still love enough to wear, should have been turned into shorts a long time ago. And go agead and just get that done. Because 85 degrees on October 5 is about as good as life gets! And OBVIOUSLY that kind of harmony demands a new pair of shorts! Boo. Yah. TensHUnsRye.ziNg Episode 24 of 53

I must admit the persistence of my absence was a bit disconcerting ...toward the end.For I was convinced that a recording would emerge as the "by default" choice to rise to the lofty perch of episode 500 of this project I've dubbed It's All My Fault. At least mostly convinced... mostly.And obviously that took a while. Seriously. A while...At least a helluva lot longer than I would have guessed. But I've never been good with the time. As everyone Every One Who knows me will attest. That my faith paid off here helps explain all my failed attempts at forcing episode 500. Waaay too much to get into now, but don't worry... do not you worry... worrynotyoudo.... k?Because, as it turns out, it was going to take as long as it took to arrive at this point of the simulation. Can't rush destiny amirite? Fukcyesiam.So so so much more to say, but I'll save it for episode 501 while avoiding the onslaught of Levi's puns my brain keeps cycling through. As always, I appreciate you all.But in this one, I have an extra scoop of appreciation for:Emmo the Bemmo My one and only little sister. TensHUnsRye.ziNg Episode 23 of 53

Chop suey again? Is this really the new routine?Um... maybe? I mean it has been a while.Not that you care. We're both aware that you have innumerable better things you could be doing with your life instead of listening to me butcher the english language while losing my train of thought in a conversation I'm having only with myself.Repeatedly. Don't you? Of course you do.Which has me curiousWhat are you doing finishing this????TensHUnsRye.ziNgEpisode 22 of 53

Hello universe. Happy day-after-Bastille-day. I hope this finds you well. In fact I hope this finds you exuberant about the upside of manifesting into the human experience. Because if you're not already in that space, I cannot see this recording moving you into that space. I feel like I should let you know that before we get too far into things and I start sleeping with your sister. Ya know? TensHUnsRye.ziNg Episode 21 of 53

I'm still so spent from my birthday fortnight, not to mention the 6-pack that just ended yesterday... wow what a life I'm having.Anyhow, given how blown away living in the moment has been, I hope you can forgive me for not being composed enough to attach something useful here. What else is new? Amirite?As always, you have much better things to be doing with your life than listening to me.So get on with it. Right?TensHUnsRye.ziNg Episode 20 of 53

This one felt a lot like the lull before the episode 500 storm. Just call me Edmonton - not quite up to the challenge but more than willing to make it look closer than it really was. Or... or call me Florida. No wait. Never call me Florida. Ever. Please. I beg of you. Edmonton sure. But Florida? Never. TensHUnsRye.ziNg Episode 19 of 53

Blah blah blah. Enough already about the comic book universe am I write Wolvie? Okay. Yeah you are. But at the same time. A little framing to help make that stupidity sensible wouldn't be the worst thing you've done lately so... let's just say if that's what you're up to here, we might just have to give it a listen. Or not. I mean not, as always, NOT remains the better option. TenHUnsRye.ziNgEpisode 18 of 53

Happy Birthday Happy Birthday Happy Birthday Emily! Tis the day ye came to life herea all those years back in history! If I wered to take this one more verse I'd for surely say. That this day is one I hope meets all your dreams in every way. Happy Birthday Little Sis! TensHUnsRye.ziNg Episode 17 of 53

Alright alright right on. I agree. After all the time I took away from corporate american life, I owe you the story of what roped me back in. So, here you go. TensHUnsRye.ziNg Episode 16 of 53

Being out of weed, officially, makes the recent gaps in my recording output more understandable. I hope. Plus I've been out getting to know my neighbors and enjoying the hell out of the process. Even so...that doesn't keep me from taking the stupid people to task in this one... over and over again. As I'm known to do, I bring a solution to the table that might help remove some of that fog of stupidity currently descending on the United States of America. But of course...that would require my fellow Americans actually doing something... and the chances of that are slim my friend. Very slim indeed.TensHUnsRye.ziNg Episode 15 of 53

I admit, in a life lived as stress free as the one I'm currently layin' down, I often have the self-realization just how damn lucky I am. Especially as an American. Who is totally broke. And currently jobless. And yet... when it comes to saving the soul of humanity... well there, at least, I'm making progress. However finding a job would still be sweet. SUPERSWEET even. Wait. Whoa whoa waitup. Nah... I didn't mean that. It's only gonna be sweet. Sorry for getting overly enthusiastic about working in America. Totally my bad on that one. Totally my bad. TenHUnsRye.ziNg Episode 14 of 53

At times I find myself wandering without purpose on these recordings. I'm certain you agree. Unexpectedly, this one felt rather on point.For the most part. Having not listened to it I feel rather "out-on-a-limby" here, but toot my own horn I will... if only to suffer the consequences later. If that's the game we're playing, I'm in. Where do I sign? TenHUnsRye.ziNg Episode 13 of 53

If you and I were just sittin' around chit-chattin' about not much and the direction of our dialogue detoured into considerations like what are some of the least respectful ways you can imagine closing out a recording... well I think the top of my list might land squarely where the end of this recording finds itself. I really wish I'd have been paying attention in real time on this point of sharing too much...But nope. Not even a little bit. Not even a little bit. TenHUnsRye.ziNg Episode 12 of 53

You say hiatus, I say who ate this? Whichever trip through time you're currently flowing within, I beg you to maintain course. Full steam ahead, as it were. Forward march. Myopia preferred. Because any diversion into this realm, the absurd cartoon universe that I reside within - well, you'll be disappointed. Yep. Dis.sed. You've been warned. At least now you have. I thinkAt least. If warning you was trying to convince you that whatever you were doing before you ended up here should just maintain. It would be a much better use of your time than engaging with the gnome infested gray matter coagulating this elongated skull. Capisce? Si. Carrie Onn Thien.TenHUnsRye.ziNg Episode 11 of 53

If ever there were an episode that exposed just how unnecessary this intro blurb is... TenHUnsRye.ziNg Episode 10 of 53

Once again, I offer proof that nobody can derail their own train better than I can... ... and that proof is this recording. In fact, so honed are my skills in this regard that I can even do so from within my dream state. On another planet. Entirely from another life lived. One filled with bliss and harmony and self-love and grace... So definitely not this one. Amirite Israel? And exactly like the Chad incident a few recordings previously, in this context, I am addressing Israel the nation, not Israel the dude. Always good to communicate clearly what our intentions toward another are rather than what they might be misinterpreted as representing if not clearly stated... Amirite Israel? TensHUnsRye.ziNg Episode 9 of 53

Hey Hey Hey Universe. You've caught me a bit offguard here. Excuse my mess. I'm celebrating mother's day this year the only way available - by making it all about me.And a little tiny bit about my mom. To be fair, my mom up and ran to the Caribbean with my sister at 430 MST this morning so making today all about her seems a little out of place. How would that even work? Zoom call drinks & dinner? Well if you're thinking... "yeah... that probably wouldn't be worth doing after traveling all day like they did..." well...You're in exactly the mindset I want you in. You will "by default" skip out on this recording. Like you were hypnotized. And became a chicken. Because let me tell you something mister buddy boy and miss goodie girl, this recording, this one right here now, this is the worst one yet. So low is the bar set by this performance that I could even see it breaking us up. Forever. Or at least put us on a long overdue break from each other - so that we can think about why we even need a Mother's Day holiday to celebrate. Having already taken 100+ minutes to meander through that thistle patch I can relay to you that excursion got me nowhere. Nada. Zippo. Clue. Less. Even now, after bulleting out that list I still have no clue why Mother's Day got invented - it doesn't make sense. We all love mom every day. It's a given. It's never a token gesture. Okay... it's rarely a token gesture. We all have our days.Unless, you unpause and consider the 113 million greeting cards we Americans exchange in recognition of this cockamamie non-holiday made up event occasion that comes around every second Sunday in May. May. Be. That had something to do with it. Amirite Hallmark? Hell Yes I Am. Hell yes I am.TensHUnsRye.ziNgEpisode 8 of 53

This frankenstein monster ends my threepeat - my most recent episodic trilogy - the George Lucas way, with more regret than one knows what to do with.To which I say:Whatevz. Already forgotten about. As if anywhere at all I have limited regrets in life? Come on. Seriously - come on! Let's get going here. We're only living with regrets because collectively we've decided we're okay with it. Well I say to that: No more. No more of this mediocrity among us.Or at least I say that applies after this one. Because if mediocrity ever wanted a 21st century definition update? I believe this recording might sit as exhibit A. Now, is that enough to convince you to go watch Anatomy of a Fall? I certainly hope so. I really do. TensHUnsRye.ziNg Episode 7 of 53

Finally! After many attempts to drill down on money and its emergence as a crucial component of civilized society - here, in this recording, I finally stay on point. Come to any conclusions??? Well, yes. Sort of. Oh I don't really know. Maybe you should decide. MAYBE. Probably not though. Again, it is very much up to you. As it always has been. As it always will be. TensHUnsRye.ziNg Episode 6 of 53

This recording is work. It was work for me. And it will be work for you. Not physical labor mind you - no no no - that would be easy. No the work involved here is mental and not the fun gymnastics kind of mental - nope this one is dissociative schizophrenia all the way. So. Basically. It's my usual... As it were. Now. As you were. Or make the mistake of listening to this one, and then the next one... and then the one after that. ... And then, for the good of yourself, go smile at a dog or something else that's soulful. It's all up to you. TensHUnsRye.ziNg Episode 5 of 53

So yeah... I've been AWOL for a bit. If I can be so generous in decribing the gap in recording time I've allowed to pile up like laundry I'm ignoring here in April. Will you grant me the latitude? I knew I liked you... so easy to get along with when I give you no voice. Now how do you feel about folding boxer shorts? Oh that's the line is it? Okay. I can live with that. Hopefully as easily as you can live with my elevating concern for humanity's soul - as revealed throughout today's recording. To say I'm peaking would not be unfair. Not unfair at all. Since nobody's reading this far into my description I'll pony up a little housekeeping... does anyone by chance know where I put my right sports earbud? It's been missing for a few days now. I do wish those things weren't so easy to misplace! Also, I really need to get a job. And this time I mean it! I hope. TensHUnsRye.ziNg Episode 4 of 53

I know, I know... I heard you okay... ??.I've been going a bit long lately. I get it.So... I thought I'd take it easy like a hotel in California by preparing something a bit more Tik-Tok. In this recording I spend 10:33 of the 12:46 talking about ticks. The rest of the recording is a public service message from some foundation with a ridiculously long name. Then, unexpectedly, we hear from Benji Netanhayu. Do you think he'll be cool if I call him Benji? No? Benny? BenBen? BJ? BJ BennyBenBen? Anyone got a Tic-Tac? TensHUnsRye.ziNg Episode 3 of 53

My failure to launch yesterday, March 29th, was not intentional. In fact It would have been my guardian angel's 35th birthday were she still with us. It's an event I've been eyeing since Thanksgiving if not earlier. Given her recent passing, I wanted yesterday's recording to express how much I valued her while she was here. I simply could not find the proper tone to match the moment. It just wasn't meant to be. But today's recording? This one was very much meant to be. Meant to be interesting. Meant to be respectful. Meant to be insightful. Meant to be contemplative. Meant to be connective. Meant to be many things... TensHUnsRye.ziNg Episode 2 of 53

Making it tremble on command? I'm not sure I like the sound of that. But I'm a guy so of course I find that intimidating. However we are not here to get bogged down in a discussion about men and their uncertainties when another season opener for the recording project "It's All My Fault" has just dropped: Season 10 - TensHUnsRye.ziNg Epsiode 1 - But it's March 29th. There's your clue. Of course that's as far as our promotional efforts will go. Ten seasons into this thing we still know there are 923 things you could be doing right now that are better life experiences than listening to this. But if you were going to queue up the Garner/Affleck Daredevil movie for the 5th time then go ahead and listen to this. Only if you're tempted. I know it isn't any worse than enduring "blind" Bennifer for over an hour. TensHUnsRye.ziNg Episode 1 of 53

Recording the season finale of NëiNsensiCaL felt like a tragedy that lost its comedy for all but 13-ish of the minutes. If I had to guess the other 94 minutes aren't all tragedy but the funny parts will be hard to find. It feels like I did a lot of wandering down alleys of immediate regret. How life does. Listen to me. How life does. The truth is that I really have no idea how bad it got in there since I'm posting the recording without reviewing any of it. Putting the QED on my 9th season of the recording project I call "It's All My Fault" feels too good to ruin it in a review session. Who cares what I said in there... at this point? After all... I just dropped my 477th installment of me many selves talking to my otherself about me, myself, Irene and any other selves with nothing better to do... ... so ... wow. Just. Wow. That's over 300 hours now of my "borderline personality" on display with all the accompanying antisocial behavior it invites. With all that available for the universe to judge me by, well, I'm starting to think I might just be a little overexposed here... C'est la vie! In fact... ... get your motor revvin'! Amirite? Of course I am. Now where did I put the car keys... ?? NëiNsensiCaL Episode 53 of 53

This recording is NëiNsensiCaL's 52nd installment. You now have the full deck of cards. Which means the next episode, #53, adds the joker to the deck while officially closing down the 9th season of my personal vanity project/confession/podcast project: "It's All My Fault". As such, I want to point out that if ever there were an episode to avoid entirely it's this one. It's almost 82 minutes long so there's that. But even more than the amount of vacuous time this recording is perched to inject into your current reality, I say the actual reason to stay away from this recording is obvious. Human nature. This episode is simply "set up to fail". Think about it. If I had anything "supersweet" or maybe even something "superdupersweet" in the pipeline of creativity would I pull that out now in the penultimate episode known as #52? Why would I? Why wouldn't I save that superdupersweetness for the actual season finale? Prematurely exacerbating all over you now? When I can still pull off an explosive finish? That leaves everyone reaching for kleenex and a smoke? I wouldn't. Ergo, don't expect any kleenex clean up moments out of this one. I barely drag my ass across the finish line if I'm being honest. But as always don't wait for me to get my isht together. Smoke 'em if you got'em. As always... NëiNsensiCaL Episode 52 of 53

It certainly took a while to get my point across in this one. Like 27 hours if you work it all out. I think. Maybe that's just how distracted my efforts have been since my melancholy manhole mishap threw me for a "clean burps" loop. Or maybe it's indicative of how little substantive contribution I'm making now. Without 27 hours to percolate... my cup very much not runneth over. Or. It could be I'm just as full of it as always. Yeah. I'm guessing it's a lot like that! Now how you gonna be? NëiNsensiCaL Episode 51 of 53

So getting a bit "crunchy" with my time means I kind of cut this one off short. I know I know I know - there's no time for that with the 8 days of VACA I'm just now rolling in from - I agree this is a bush-league maneuver. But still - timecrunches in this linear sh!tstorm are real. Can't live with that much denial. So if you want to know what can cause me, the chronic-talker-to-myselfer-of-epic-proportions to StFU for a little over a week - well here's your chance. Otherwise go watch some NCAA basketball or something - ya know? There's gotta be something better you could be doing with your time than this.Right? NëiNsensiCaL Episode 50 of 53

I used most of the last recording to complain about the human condition we're collectively accepting here on Earth867-5309. The one that has our humanity so unfulfilled right now. And then, like a jerk, I offered nothing in the way of solutions that might help offset this situation. So today, I try and make up for my faux pas with {drumroll please} - Government By Lottery! Seriously! Now how you gonna be?Madam President? NëiNsensiCaL Episode 49 of 53

In the version of english I use to attempt communication with others, the one that today is spoken in the nation currently labeled the United States of America in the spacetime moment that is the "year after the year" Love Was Left on the Cutting Room Floor - in that specific version of reality - I really think the collective nailed it on one word: flaw(s)(ed)and maybe one phrase: "run-on sentences".I'll even go so far as to include FLAW as an example of onomatopoeia but completely understand if you feel less "buzz" in your assessment. But, You know me. Pushing the boundaries of language possibilities to the point of blundering right through agreed upon structural norms is kind of my thing to do... right Ms. Palin? Or is that Governor Palin? I get confused when people quit their civic duties what we call them subsequently. SarSar? CareBear? Ex-Governor SarBear? Tina Fey?Flaws. We all got 'em. Don't we? Okay, maybe not Lara Logan. But the rest of us... ??? NëiNsensiCaL Episode 48 of 53

It's "Saturday Date Night" universe so should we pick up Thai or go out for Italian? Or did you want to grab something to cook together? I'm sorry I didn't hear you... come again. You're what now? You have a what now? You say you have a headache? Really... ? A headache? That's almost believable given the insanity I'm putting myself through lately... But come on universe - you don't even have a head. Do you? NëiNsensiCaL Episode 47 of 53

My content delivery method can, correctly I might add, be criticized as long-winded and distracted. As well as desperately in need of an editor. These are AMONG the many other criticisms that might legitimately be expressed of me, my presentation, my technical challenges and my general purpose communicating herein. I know any audience willing to engage with me - the unplugged, unfilitered, uncouth me - has to put up with more than their fair share of letting "me be me". I do ask a lot sometimes. I'm aware. It's why I might even agree with the identified disappointment you're expressing. Even if I'm unlikely to do anything about it. Many 21st century content sources would never put you through the insufferable experiences that I demand of you constantly. I do ask a lot sometimes. I'm aware. In a way, this episode's topic d'jour attempts to address several of these potential criticisms that might be levied against me at some point. I even discuss why I'm open to admitting your critique's validity while simultaneously doing nothing about it. Nothing whatsoever? Yeah. Mostly. I do ask a lot sometimes. I'm aware. Unless explaining my actions in detail - the kind of detail that is longer than most movies - counts as doing something about it.I do ask a lot sometimes. I'm aware. And do not think the "almost 2 hours of metalkytalkytime " is going to settle anything. It is very much not going to do that. NëiNsensiCaL Episode 45 of 53

I would qualify this recording as a "sidebar" effort, if such a category existed, in this project. And given that all parameters contained herein are totally mine to arbitrarily design, well... - Welcome to the Sidebar Part of the Show - Where topic matter is more reactive than proactive... as sidebars are known to be!If you enjoy yourself a USA Today in locations other than airports... well this may very well be the episode you have been waiting for!NëiNsensiCaL Episode 45 of 53

This one is the very definition of "all over the place". And it ends in a flood of emotional distress... so there's that to look forward to. I don't really know where to go with this addendum to an experience that is an hour of me in all of my exposed self thinking hard thoughts about the here and now. Is that your kind of thing? Then sure. Give it a shot. Otherwise? Pass. Pass all the way babay! NëiNsensiCaL Episode 44 of 53

Getting through my long overdue apologies to you, my listener, should have been enough for this episode on its own. But like I'm prone to do, I pile on with 11 beliefs that stretch the imagination to a point I won't blame you for never listening again. Hold it against you, maybe... But blame you? Never!NëiNsensiCaL Episode 43 of 53

It seems as if I'm still on amicable terms with YouTube©®™. Shocking.I agree. It's been 8.75 days since we got back together As I type this... 2.27.24 at 4:53 MST.after I panicked 2 years ago and ranknowing how much you'd changed and anything between us wasn't sustainable. There's that. You'd think those uploads from 2022 (allegedly) would have been enough for YouTube©®™ to hand me my walking papers... Yet here I am. Still. Well at least on this day... at this moment, if you're reading this. And in fact a human being. Not a bot. Because... once this one is heard by the AI overlords... well ... Amirite YouTube©®™? NëiNsensiCaL Episode 42 of 53

Hello YouTubeiverse.©™®As "reasons to never listen to me again... ever!!!" go... this recording might have just skyrocketed to number one on that list. I have never felt the need to interject a message intentionally warning tender young ears to stay away from...the disturbing nature of my next thoughts. ...!!!???At least I don't remember any such instance. Until now. And you know as well as I do who is to blame here. ... YouTube!!!The tube of you. No longer my tube. Not even MySpace if you ask me!!! !!! You were asking weren't you??? ??? ... ©©© !?.NëiNsensiCaL Episode 41 of 53

I believe getting lost is a fair assessment of the journey this one offers but the deep thoughts part - that part I'm not so sold on. Not because I'm doing that thing where I'm underselling the depth of my existence to trigger reactions like "dude quit soliciting compliments that way - it's annoying".Nope. At least not this time.Instead, this is a long overdue reconciliation conversation between me and the Tube of You. As well as addressing some hooks that got sandier than I probably should have permitted. But I wouldn't be me if I wasn't apologizing for the disconnects I unintentionally create and then intentionally exacerbate in an attempt to clarify our shared reality. Would I?I never mean it personally. Ever. Well other than those hooks that got so sandy. That part is proving hard to let go of. As clearly shown in the recording. Okay maybe not shown, but... Demonstrated? Revealed? Heard? Documented as evidence to later be used against me? Voiced?Clearly audible?...? Okay you're right. Leave "shown" as is. It was good enough already. NëiNsensiCaL Episode 40 of 53

First, what if you were thrust into a circumstance that demanded of you a decision be made in the next 30 seconds that could never be undone. With that absurd reality engaged, the choice at hand is this: which, of the many options available currently, would you declare as the one and only fruit option that the simulation will be offering from now going forward until you perish. Meaning there will be only one fruit now available, but it's up to you to decide which one... and you're to do so in the next 30 seconds. 29. 28. Would you be available in that moment to make the right choice? What if #2 - pencils? What if #3 - asks what, if any, moral obligations did you "acquire/sign up for" when you manifested here on 867-5309.Earth in that fetching meatsuit of yours? That What If? #3 is a bit of a "Rick-pickle-of-a-What-If?" to chew on... I agree with you there. Ergo the #2 pencils... amirite? But take a bite out of this monkey's digit we must since I'm now all out of oranges.NëiNsensiCaL Episode 39 of 53

This one includes... moments that I will have to stand by. As do they all. This one also has some moments that I will choose to stand by. As do most.Any "aspire to stand astride" moments to be had in this one you naturally inquire??? Soooooo unlikely given my past data points that have assembled to create the very inquiry you're presenting in its current manifestation. With all that working as if it were meant to be... I will simply let the future tell us all what it came here to reveal in the first place. Proceed as per the usual here...as it always does. Now what, if any of that, does this recording get into? All of it. At least I think so. However, I'm feeling my carry-on baggage suddenly here... is that zipper unzipped? Okay. How about this. Most of it, arguably, is my final answer. An answer we hold the right to revise as necessary at any time in the future up to and including a full denial that this answer ever existed. All with no accountability whatsoever, etc... etc. etc. cool? NëiNsensiCaL Episode 38 of 53

As if from a dream, yesterday, combustible "pops-his-mouth-off-when-he-should't" John woke up to an issue with AT&T that led to an immediate divorce. Less than two hours of consicous time and BAM! No phone. No internet. No meaning as a white male American in the 21st century. BAM! BAM! BAM! Thank you Sir! May we never have another? BAM! And then the day got interesting... NëiNsensiCaL Episode 37 of 53

Does looking into the past prevent one from taking full advantage of the future that's right in front of them? As with most of life's ponderings, this one is a little column A and even more column B, but knowing which column is which takes the wisdom gained in pursuit of both. With that much to sort out you'd think I'd have gotten around to the core argument I wanted to make when I started this recording... you'd think. But nope. At least not really. Mostly it's just me being me, getting nowhere specific until eventually winding it up as if we arrived right where I wanted to take you all along. So very much... business as usual. NëiNsensiCaL Episode 36 of 53

Two steps forward, one step back, one slip sideways before you trip on your ass... and then you turn yourself around to find out:"that's what it's all about"! Doing the hokey-pokey is about as apt a metaphor for the life I've got going on lately as is anything else pin-the-tail-in-the-donkey-ish. At least I'm no longer the pinata at a pinata party eh Juanito? Si. Si si si si mucho si senor.Okay. I mean bueno.Well there you are. Like my bullet points, this one is a whole lot of trying to not slip and fall. Some of it worked out. Other parts... not so much. Whichever way you slice it, it's at a very minimum, the real me being as real as I know how to be.NëiNsensiCaLEpisode 35 of 53

Are you ready for some football?Presuming, of course, that we're speaking in American 21st century cultural sport slang... the one where football is played with a prolate spheroid and pits steroid-fueled madmen against each other in a gladiator-like setting as drunken Las Vegas visitors morph into rabid observers salivating over the violent action as well as their jalapeno poppers who join living room parties throughout the homeland all tuned to CBS Sports' broadcast of SUPERBOWL 58.On this day of unity, we become a nation filled with willing devotees who, at least for one day, dedicate their lives' purpose to the "unknown" outcome that eventually bounces out of that chaotic, silly, little prolate spheroid thing-a-ma-jig-ball-imposter and whether or not it matches the squares they purchased in their office gambling pool,After all, this is the spectacle that pins together American culture. And superhero movies. And cheese.Otherwise we're talking about soccer amirite?Hell yeah.'Muricuh. Phukc Yeah!Ossaykan UC? By d'Don's Earl eLight?Bet on the Chiefs. to win outright.Actually, check that...Do NOT bet ON sPortS.However, the Chiefs are the lock of the century.As are disappointing commercials.Which, unfortunately, is another sign of our creative dearth as a nation.The Taco Bell commercial controversy will be tomorrow's most read news story.Unless Ms. Swift (Kelce-Swift??? Swift-Kelce??? Hiddleston-Kelce-Swift-Mayer???) dodges the game entirely to, instead, jettison her way down to Lima, Peru for the sole purpose of determining whether or not they have limes.If that's what today invokes, well... that might just break the internet.Or at a minimum, provoke the Swifties into taking defensive posture #696 in her defense.NëiNsensiCaLEpisode 34 of 53