MILKLESS

Max and Matt dig into a conversation sparked by an article Matt's dad (aka Skip) sent their way: “Stop Trying to Raise Successful Kids.” What unfolds is a vulnerable, hilarious, and deeply practical look at what we're actually teaching our kids through our words, our reactions, and our silence. They explore how achievement culture subtly hijacks parenting, why kindness needs louder applause, and the power of modelling empathy over outcome. Along the way, they unpack wild studies (like why helpful kindergarteners earn more as adults), personal stories of parenting wins and misses, and why standing up to a bully might be more valuable than acing the SATs. It's about raising good humans, not just high performers. And yeah, there's some goldfish, lost letters, a tip jar moment, and a healthy side of dad-cry goosebumps. Let's gooo!Buy Violet Archer on Amazon HereMilkless on InstagramMilkless on TikTok

Max and Matt sit down with their longtime friend Amanda Brinkman for an honest, hilarious, and eye-opening conversation about perimenopause—what it is, why it matters, and why so few people are actually talking about it. Amanda shares her personal experience navigating brain fog, rage surges, sleep disturbances, and the emotional chaos of midlife… all while raising a daughter who's hitting puberty herself. They unpack the medical blind spots, cultural silence, and outdated advice still lingering around women's health, and how this stage of life can be both deeply disorienting and wildly empowering. With help from some actual science (and a lot of jokes), they explore how to better support your partner, your friends, and yourself through this phase—and why knowing what's going on might be the most powerful tool of all. Let's gooo!You like that Amanda Brinkman lady? So do we! And when she's not talking about perimenopause, she spends much of her time travelling the country talking to big ol' crowds about finding Purpose. She's even got a course on it, y'all. Check out the links below.Amanda Brinkman: https://amandakbrinkman.comThe Purpose Pursuit Course: amandakbrinkman.com/purposepursuitInstagram: https://www.instagram.com/amandakbrinkman/Buy Violet Archer on Amazon HereMilkless on InstagramMilkless on TikTok

Max and Matt get deep into what our emotions really are—and what we can do about them. They explore the mind-blowing science of how emotions aren't just reactions but predictions, shaped by past experience and cultural cues. Drawing from the work of Dr. Lisa Feldman Barrett, they unpack why your anxiety, stress, or anger might not mean what you think it means, and how we actually have way more agency than we give ourselves credit for. From parenting triggers to intrusive thoughts, from yelling at your kids to feeling stuck in shame, they talk about how to hit pause, reset your emotional reactions, and stop being a passenger to your own feelings. Oh, and yes, they manage to fit in the Buddha, Gabor Maté, and why a toddler yelling “I tooted” might be the wisdom we all need. Let's gooo!Buy Violet Archer on Amazon HereMilkless on InstagramMilkless on TikTok

Max and Matt get honest about parenting on autopilot—when you're technically doing everything right but feel totally disconnected from your kids. They unpack the invisible exhaustion that builds up from work, stress, and just keeping the family machine running—and how easy it is to slip into a mode where you're reacting, not connecting. They talk about how small moments of presence (like a 15-second eye gaze!) can rewire your entire day, why we confuse doing "enough" with actually showing up, and how a toddler's sheep-scented toot became the emotional reset one dad didn't know he needed. They also get into parenting guilt, meditation, sibling rivalry, and how sometimes the biggest shift is the smallest gesture. Let's gooo!Buy Violet Archer on Amazon HereMilkless on InstagramMilkless on TikTok

Max and Matt are back with Bettina Schultz-Jobe to dive deeper into the messy, emotional world of education choices. They unpack the tension between protecting kids and preparing them for the real world, the guilt around nontraditional schooling, and why no one path—public, private, homeschool, or micro-school—is a magic bullet. They get into how important it is for kids to build resilience without being bulldozed, why "fit" matters way more than prestige, and how parents have way more power (and responsibility) than they think when it comes to raising curious, lifelong learners. From playground politics to project-based learning to why the right school is like the right bike helmet (you just have to want to wear it), they break down how to make education work for your unique kid. Let's gooo!Buy Violet Archer on Amazon HereMilkless on InstagramMilkless on TikTok

Max and Matt sit down with guest Bettina Schultz-Jobe to explore one of the hottest parenting questions out there: What should school actually look like? They dive into homeschooling, hybrid models, micro-schools, and the wild world of education alternatives beyond the standard public school path. Bettina shares her journey from therapist to school founder, what she's learned about how kids learn best, and why some traditional school settings might be killing our kids' natural love for learning. From balancing structure with freedom to the challenge of building real social-emotional skills, they talk about how different environments shape kids—not just academically, but as full humans. They also tackle hard questions about socialization, bullying, screen time, and the myth that there's one “right” way to educate your kid. Let's gooo!Buy Violet Archer on Amazon HereMilkless on InstagramMilkless on TikTok

Max and Matt get raw and real about every parent's worst nightmare — when playtime goes sideways and lands you in urgent care. Matt recounts the heart-wrenching experience of holding down his two-year-old daughter while she got stitches, and the emotional aftermath that rocked the whole family. They unpack the guilt, the helplessness, the fear, and the surprisingly powerful role of storytelling in helping kids (and parents) make sense of scary stuff. From traumatic dreams that seem to echo real-life events, to the quiet confidence kids lose and regain after getting hurt, they dive deep into what it means to be present, supportive, and human through it all. And yes, there's plenty of love, reflection, and even a few laughs along the way (dead dogs in swimming pools? Don't ask). This episode is about parenting through pain, building resilience, and rewriting hard memories with empathy and connection. Buckle up — this one hits hard and heals a little, too.Buy Violet Archer on Amazon HereMilkless on InstagramMilkless on TikTok

Max and Matt dive headfirst into the mental mush that is modern life and ask the big question: are we all getting dumber… or does it just feel that way? They unpack the "reverse Flynn effect" (yes, it's a thing), why IQ scores might be slipping, and how tech, social media, and even GPS might be slowly draining our brains. But instead of panicking, they explore what we can actually do about it—especially as parents. From building friction into our kids' lives to rediscovering slow learning as adults (yes, even number theory), they talk about reclaiming our attention, our curiosity, and our time. They also get real about AI, addiction to distraction, and why being intentional might be the only way out of the algorithm trap. Let's gooo!The essence of calculushttps://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WUvTyaaNkzM&t=5sBuy Violet Archer on Amazon HereMilkless on InstagramMilkless on TikTok

Max and Matt open up about the weird limbo of life after college — when you've checked all the boxes but still feel totally unmoored. They talk about that creeping feeling of “Is this it?” even when things look fine on paper, the identity crisis that hits when your career path doesn't match who you really are, and the invisible pressure to keep pushing forward even when you're not sure where you're going. From chasing purpose to confronting the emotional hangover of growing up, they break down why so many people feel lost after doing everything “right.” They also talk about friendships in adulthood, the struggle to stay curious, and how slowing down might actually be the way forward. Let's gooo!Buy Violet Archer on Amazon HereMilkless on InstagramMilkless on TikTok

Max and Matt dive into the messy, hilarious, and sometimes frustrating world of bedtime battles. From the never-ending requests for “just one more story” to the mysterious ways kids find infinite energy when it's time to sleep, they break down the emotional toll (and occasional victories) of getting their little ones down for the night. They share their own bedtime struggles, the tactics that sometimes work (and mostly don't), and how sleep—or lack thereof—impacts the whole family dynamic. The guys get real about the tension between partners when one person is always “the bedtime enforcer,” the guilt of losing patience, and the little moments of magic hidden in the chaos. And of course, they tackle the age-old question: is bedtime really about the kids, or is it a battle of wills between exhausted parents and tiny, relentless negotiators? Let's gooo!Free 30 days to the Waking Up app!https://dynamic.wakingup.com/guestpass/SC2E71BB8dynamic.wakingup.comGuest Pass | Waking UpDiscover a new operating system for your mind—with step-by-step guidance from Sam Harris, practical wisdom from renowned experts, and courses focused on life's most important questions.Buy Violet Archer on Amazon HereMilkless on InstagramMilkless on TikTok

Max and Matt take on the surprisingly tricky topic of self-image and how much parents shape the way their kids feel about how they look. They unpack the fine line between building confidence and accidentally creating little narcissists, why telling your kids they're beautiful might actually be a good thing, and how much of this is just about helping them avoid a future existential crisis in front of the mirror. They also wrestle with questions like: Is making your kid do their hair just basic hygiene or enforcing pointless social norms? How much should parents step in when their kid looks like a complete mess? And is there really any harm in letting your kid wear the same shirt two days in a row? From the dad mirror effect to the chaos of parenting in a world obsessed with appearance, they break it all down—while probably overthinking it. Let's gooo!Buy Violet Archer on Amazon HereMilkless on InstagramMilkless on TikTok

Max and Matt wrestle with the awkward tension of self-care, gratitude practices, and what it really means to put yourself first as a dad. They dive into the discomfort of talking about feelings, why terms like "self-care" and "gratitude practice" feel off-putting, and whether the resistance to these ideas is generational, cultural, or just straight-up nonsense. From the pressure to be a "good dad" while also keeping a piece of yourself intact to the absurdity of ranking your priorities in life, they explore why taking care of yourself isn't just important—it's essential. They also get into dad martyrdom, the social dynamics of making time for friends, and how a simple recurring event on the calendar might just be the key to happiness. Let's gooo!Buy Violet Archer on Amazon HereMilkless on InstagramMilkless on TikTok

Do parents really have a favorite child? The research says… maybe. This week, Max and Matt discuss a fascinating new study exploring favoritism among siblings, why it happens, who it happens to, and how it affects kids long-term. They break down what makes one child the "favorite", why firstborns often get special treatment, and how parents can unintentionally send signals that stick with kids for life.They also share their experiences as dads, from managing sibling rivalries to checking their own biases, and tackle the big question: If favoritism is natural, how do you make sure your kids don't feel like they're getting the short end of the stick? Plus, it's a hilarious look at birth order stereotypes, bedtime confessions, and how kids remember praise vs. rejection.If you've ever wondered whether your kids think you play favorites (or you still swear your parents had a favorite), you won't want to miss this honest and slightly chaotic conversation!#Parenting #Siblings #MomLife #DadLife #FamilyDynamics #RaisingKids #ParentingTips #BirthOrder #Fatherhood #MotherhoodBuy Violet Archer on Amazon HereMilkless on InstagramMilkless on TikTok

Max and Matt dive into the wild world of sick kids: the endless fluids, missed days at daycare, and the looming question of how much sickness is too much. They talk about everything from preventing illness to navigating the tricky moments when it strikes, including handling fevers, the viral load theory, and whether it's okay to send your kid back to daycare with a little Tylenol. Max shares his unconventional (and controversial) approach to keeping his family from getting sick, and the guys explore how the balance between taking care of your kids and taking care of your work responsibilities can lead to some seriously complicated decisions. Plus, they discuss the fine line between being a concerned parent and overthinking it. You won't want to miss this honest, funny, and a little bit gross conversation about sickness, health, and parenting in the trenches.Buy Violet Archer on Amazon HereMilkless on InstagramMilkless on TikTok

Max and Matt dive deep into the emotional complexities of work trips — how they feel before, during, and after leaving their families behind. The lead-up is filled with guilt and anxiety, and while the trip itself might offer a bit of relief, there's no escaping the emotional rollercoaster of being away from the kids and the tension with partners. From the chaotic reentry period to the guilt of missing milestones, they talk through how to manage these feelings of guilt while balancing their roles as dads and professionals. They also discuss the dynamics with their partners and kids, the expectations that come with travel, and why sometimes, the family routine takes a little detour when dad's away. Max and Matt explore the mixed emotions of being away — the pangs of leaving your partner with the kids, the inevitable "tantrums" when you come back, and how these trips impact family life and the overall family dynamic. Let's gooo!Buy Violet Archer on Amazon HereMilkless on InstagramMilkless on TikTok

In this episode, Max and Matt tackle one of the trickiest challenges of parenting—striking the balance between giving your kids a great life and ensuring they develop gratitude. On the one hand, you want to give them everything you can; on the other, being deprived of something can be a powerful teacher of gratitude. But when you have the means to give your kids what they want, how do you navigate that tension without sounding like a broken record about how good they have it? Max and Matt dive into the complexities of overindulgence and entitlement, discussing the natural ways kids learn and how to avoid pushing them too far into materialism or a lack of work ethic. It's not as simple as just saying, “Be grateful,” and they share their own struggles with finding that delicate balance. Let's go!Buy Violet Archer on Amazon HereMilkless on InstagramMilkless on TikTok

In this episode, Max and Matt dive into the complexities of self-criticism and why we're so hard on ourselves. From feeling like we're not doing enough to the constant nagging voice that says we're failing, they break down the science behind those inner thoughts and how they can both push us to succeed and drive us crazy. The dads explore the brain's Default Mode Network, the fine line between anxiety and excitement, and the paradox of wanting high emotional highs while battling self-doubt. Plus, they share practical strategies to deal with that voice in your head—from framing stress as information to simply cutting yourself some slack. It's a raw, honest look at how we can stop letting our inner critics sabotage our peace and embrace who we are.Buy Violet Archer on Amazon HereMilkless on InstagramMilkless on TikTok

In this episode, Max and Matt tackle the chaos of sibling rivalry with a side of humor and some eye-opening research. As Max navigates the constant tug-of-war between his three kids, from stolen toys to full-on brawls over forgotten objects, the dads dive deep into the survival instincts driving sibling conflict. They share insights on how to deal with the constant squabbles, why fairness is an illusion, and how empathy can help bridge the emotional gap between kids (and parents). From understanding the neurological reasons behind possessiveness to practical strategies for keeping your cool, this episode is all about surviving the madness and coming out with a little more peace of mind. Plus, Max shares how he's learning to manage the chaos by embracing the reality that, sometimes, they'll just have to "dev out" of it. Tune in for a mix of science, parenting hacks, and a ton of laughs.Buy Violet Archer on Amazon HereMilkless on InstagramMilkless on TikTok

In this episode, Max and Matt sit down with Dr. Tina Payne Bryson, renowned therapist and author of The Way of Play, to dive into the transformative power of play for kids (and parents!). With her new book launching today, Dr. Bryson shares how play can be a powerful tool for emotional growth, resilience, and connection. From teaching kids emotional skills through action figures to using play as a strategy for tackling tough moments, Tina breaks down the why and how of incorporating play into everyday life. Whether you're the “fun parent” or you struggle to get down on the floor for playtime, this episode offers relatable tips and deep insights into how play can build brains, relationships, and make parenting a little more magical. If you've ever wondered how to make your time with your kids more meaningful or how to make the most of those fleeting moments of connection, this one's for you.Buy Violet Archer on Amazon HereMilkless on InstagramMilkless on TikTok

Ok, so Santa is obviously real. Everyone knows that. This episode is for the parents who are navigating the tricky world of holiday magic. Max and Matt are joined by Kristen Kelly and Jen Sarbach, the dynamic duo behind The Wall Street Skinny, to dive into the ever-complex world of Christmas traditions, myths, and how we handle them as our kids grow older. We're talking about rituals, the North Pole resident who keeps an eye on your little ones, and the age-old question: how do we keep the magic alive when the questions start piling up? It's a deep dive into belief, family traditions, and even the existential questions that come with growing up—plus a few laughs along the way. Whether you're struggling to balance magic with honesty or looking for new ways to make the holidays special, this episode has something for you. So, sit back, relax, and listen in to this festive discussion on how we keep the wonder alive during the holidays. (Oh, and a heads up—there's a bit of holiday truth-bombing in this one, so adult ears only!)Also check out Wall Street Skinny's episode #125 where Matt and Max talk about angel investing and how to analyze early stage companies and whether it's worth investing in it or not.Buy Violet Archer on Amazon HereMilkless on InstagramMilkless on TikTok

As we close out Season 3 and the year, Max and Matt reflect on the journey they've been on with Milkless. They share lessons learned, funny moments, and the parenting tools that have helped them survive (and thrive) through all the chaos. From big emotional moments to sleepless nights, this episode dives into what it really means to be a dad—and how to not totally lose it. Whether it's gaining perspective on tough parenting days or just trying to make it to the holidays without totally breaking down, this is a fun, reflective look back at everything they've tackled so far.Buy Violet Archer on Amazon HereMilkless on InstagramMilkless on TikTok

Max breaks down his recent experience with his 4-year-old daughter's sleep regression, and Matt's got his back as they dive into the exhaustion, the tough choices, and the real moments that come with kids and their changing sleep patterns. From bedtime battles to unexpected sleep snuggles, this episode is packed with all the struggles (and laughs) that come when the sleep routine goes off-track. If you've been there, or you're about to, hit play and join the chaos—because this episode proves that no matter how tough things get, you're not alone in this sleep-deprived adventure.Buy Violet Archer on Amazon HereMilkless on InstagramMilkless on TikTok

This is Part Two of a two part episode. If you haven't heard part one, go back and start with Episode #84! Thanks!One of the main reasons Matt and Max started this podcast was to become better parents themselves, and both of them think this might be the most helpful episode they've ever been a part of. Tina Payne Bryson, PhD - the renowned co-author of Best Sellers like Whole Brained Child, No Drama Discipline, The Yes Brain, The Power of Showing up, and the upcoming The Way of Play - joins the pod for a wide-ranging conversation on everything from discipline, to regulation, to the things we broadly misunderstand about "gentle parenting."Dr. Bryson's work has preceded her in both of our households, with her and Dr. Dan Siegel's science-backed Whole Brain Parenting approach having informed the way we parent for years. This was the rare and wonderful occasion when the person herself totally lives up to the power of her work. Brilliant, honest, practical, relatable, and genuinely funny - Dr. Bryson is literally spitting wisdom out here. We hope you enjoy the conversation as much as we did.Buy Violet Archer on Amazon HereMilkless on InstagramMilkless on TikTok

One of the main reasons Matt and Max started this podcast was to become better parents themselves, and both of them think this might be the most helpful episode they've ever been a part of. Tina Payne Bryson, PHD - the renowned co-author of Best Sellers like Whole Brained Child, No Drama Discipline, The Yes Brain, The Power of Showing up, and the upcoming The Way of Play - joins the pod for a wide-ranging conversation on everything from discipline, to regulation, to the things we broadly misunderstand about "gentle parenting."Dr. Bryson's work has preceded her in both of our households, with her and Dr. Dan Siegel's science-backed Whole Brain Parenting approach having informed the way we parent for years. This was the rare and wonderful occasion when the person herself totally lives up to the power of her work. Brilliant, honest, practical, relatable, and genuinely funny - Dr. Bryson is literally spitting wisdom out here. We hope you enjoy the conversation as much as we did.Buy Violet Archer on Amazon HereMilkless on InstagramMilkless on TikTok

We're diving into the sticky topic of boys today. We tackle the often-overlooked struggles boys face in today's world, inspired partly by Richard Reeves from the Brookings Institution (youtube link below). While we wholeheartedly celebrate the progress made for girls and women—a movement that is crucial and long overdue—we also need to shine a light on the alarming new statistics regarding boys: declining college graduation rates, slipping school performance, and the fact that 4 out of 5 suicides are male. What does modern masculinity look like? Is there still a place for masculinity in our modern society? And how do we define it when so much of historical masculinity needs to evolve or be left behind?This topic is undeniably sticky. It can feel like supporting boys somehow detracts from empowering our daughters, but we're here to set the record straight: lifting up one group doesn't mean leaving another behind. We can—and must—do both!As we explore these complex issues, we're excited to announce that today, November 1, coincides with the kickoff of Movember! Max is diving into the spirit of the month by growing his first mustache to raise funds for men's health issues. Join us in making a difference: you can donate to Max's Movember campaign below or be a part of the inaugural Milkless Mo team to help raise awareness and funds.Join Movember Yourself on Team Milkless MoDonate to Max's Movember PageRichard Reeve's Youtube Video we ReferencedBuy Violet Archer on Amazon HereMilkless on InstagramMilkless on TikTok

In the second episode with Dr. Morgan Cutlip, we dive deeper into the complexities of attachment styles and the mental load that accompanies parenting. Dr. Cutlip shares her insights on the invisible burdens we carry and how they impact our relationships.From balancing emotional well-being to the logistics of daily life, we explore the fine line between nurturing and overextending ourselves. As Max and Matt navigate the challenges of parenting, they discuss the often-unseen pressures that lead to burnout and resentment. Dr. Cutlip offers practical advice on how to foster healthier communication with partners, emphasizing the importance of mutual support and understanding.Whether you're knee-deep in laundry or juggling sports schedules, this episode is packed with valuable strategies to help you lighten your mental load and strengthen your family dynamic.And here's the link to the guide Dr. Cutlip mentions in the episode about how to talk about the mental load. And a link to her book, Love Your Kids Without Losing YourselfAnd a link to her new book, A Better ShareAnd a link to her InstagramBuy Violet Archer on Amazon HereMilkless on InstagramMilkless on TikTok

Dive in with the brilliant Dr. Morgan Cutlip, a psychologist and mother of two. Together, we tackle the often invisible mental load that comes with raising kids - and Max finds out who has been refilling the liquid soap dispensers in his house.Morgan helps us navigate the fine art of sharing the parenting load without turning it into a wrestling match. We discuss the surprising ways the mental load creeps into our daily lives and how it affects everything from dinner plans to bedtime routines.Whether you're juggling laundry, school projects, or just trying to get out of the house, this episode is packed with insights to help you lighten your load and keep the family ship sailing smoothly. So grab your favorite snack (even if it's gummy worms) and tune in!And here's the link to the guide Dr. Cutlip mentions in the episode about how to talk about the mental load. And a link to her book, Love Your Kids Without Losing YourselfAnd a link to her new book, A Better ShareAnd a link to her InstagramBuy Violet Archer on Amazon HereMilkless on InstagramMilkless on TikTok

We're talking about misinformation with a recent study to round us out as we dive in by soon-to-be doctor of Psychology, Evan Orticio. Matt and Max tackle the crucial topic of equipping our kids with the skills to navigate the chaotic seas of falsehoods and dubious claims. Is shielding them from misinformation doing more harm than good? Spoiler alert: it might be time to lean in instead of shielding!Join us as we explore a cool study that shows how engaging with misinformation can actually boost kids' critical thinking skills. We'll discuss the fine balance between trust and skepticism, how to help our kids to question everything (including... what we say?), and the art of navigating the digital minefield of today's media landscape. Cheers to Evan!Link to an article about the studyBuy Violet Archer on Amazon HereMilkless on InstagramMilkless on TikTok

Part Deux of a two-parter! In this half of the episode, Matt opens up about the looming threat of losing his cool as the kids grow and their needs evolve, while Max reflects on the challenges of balancing individual attention with collective chaos. Whether it's mastering the art of co-parenting during the newborn phase or navigating the inevitable sibling rivalry, Matt and Max are once again joined by Sam to explore that wild moment when your family goes from only child to man-on-man defense—and possibly even to zone defense.Buy Violet Archer on Amazon HereMilkless on InstagramMilkless on TikTok

This episode dives deep into the emotional rollercoaster of expanding one's family. Max and Matt are joined by returning guest, Samuel "Iceman" Stolper, who's days away from welcoming baby number two. Together, they unpack the highs, lows, and unexpected gut punches of bringing a second (or third) child into the mix. From sibling dynamics to parental sanity checks, they explore everything—from how much your first kid might lose in the attention department to the importance of celebrating the magic of a growing family. Let's go!Buy Violet Archer on Amazon HereMilkless on InstagramMilkless on TikTok

Matt and Max unpack the unexpected magic of a one-on-one hotel stay with only one of your kids. During a soccer tournament in Boise, Max finds himself bonding with his son over card games, Coldplay, and a healthy dose of nostalgia. But as they reminisce about their mini-adventure, the boys dive deep into the bittersweet nature of those one-on-one moments that make parenting so rich—while also grappling with the guilt of missing the whole family dynamic. Tune in as they brainstorm ways to carve out special time with each kid, explore the art of spontaneous hangouts, and ultimately remind us why sometimes, it's the “wasting time” that creates the best memories.Buy Violet Archer on Amazon HereMilkless on InstagramMilkless on TikTok

There really is nothing better than those hours that pass with your kids when nobody is trying to get anything done, nobody is multitasking, and everybody is totally present. We spend so much time thinking about how to "parent right," yet some of our best interactions with our families come when nobody is really thinking too hard about anything at all. But man, can that vibe be elusive! Finding a moment when nothing needs to get done and everybody is in the right place to truly sink into the moment... pick your metaphor for finding a thing that's hard as hell to find. It's worth aiming for, though, because the sense of connection that comes from those experiences is palpable - for us AND our kids. Max recounts having recently found one of those moments with his kids, and The Boys try to break it down - figure out how to get to that place and stay there as long as they can.Buy Violet Archer on Amazon HereMilkless on InstagramMilkless on TikTok

We've all been there. We're innocently driving the kids to school, and from the backseat you hear: "Daddy, what's that?" You look out the window and calmly respond, "Honey, that's four bloody skeletons hanging from a tree with their skin peeling off." Mysteriously, bedtime is suddenly incredibly hard. Don't get us wrong, Halloween is fun as hell, and it can be a time for kids to dip a healthy toe into the world of fears, and death, and monsters... and all that other stuff we wish we could shelter our kids from completely but obviously can't. Max and Matt kick around ideas for how to get into the Halloween spirit without traumatizing the small, partially developed humans that live at their house. Let's Go! Buy Violet Archer on Amazon Here

Max reveals a game-changing parenting strategy: losing it on his kids… in a good way. When his kids do something overly kind, he doesn't just give a pat on the back—he matches the intensity of a negative dad-freak-out, but flips it to pure joy. The result? Kids who get a huge reaction and a ton of attention when they least expect it. Matt chimes in with his own stories of dialing up the energy and why it's important to notice the little victories. Expect plenty of laughs, a shirtless moment, and a real look at how turning the volume up on the good stuff can make parenting more fun—and effective.Buy Violet Archer on Amazon Here

The Boys tackle the struggle of giving kids independence without losing the emotional connection. Matt shares a recent bedtime standoff with his 6-year-old that led to a breakthrough in how he handles her growing need for autonomy (spoiler: there's a silent ‘f*** you' involved). Meanwhile, Max reflects on the pressure to always be the "good dad" and how that sometimes leads to over-parenting—even when all the kid really needs is space. Expect hard truths, a lot of laughs, and a reminder that as long as you love them and don't hit them, you're probably doing just fine.Buy Violet Archer on Amazon Here

Matt and Max talk about when Matt had to break some news to his daughter about the reality of some of the magic in the world. Warning: Matt cries a little bit.Love, MaxWhen=Now Episodes are a second bonus episode we drop some weeks. The topic is something that's going on in our life right now. Less research, more gritty, no editing, and more free flowing.  Enjoy!Buy Violet Archer on Amazon Here

Matt and Max talk about why they took a random week off. Spoiler Alert: Max's dad was med flighted for an emergency surgery. They talk about aging parents and how they look at their own health.When=Now Episodes are a second bonus episode we drop some weeks. The topic is something that's going on in our life right now. Less research, more gritty, no editing, and more free flowing.  Enjoy!Buy Violet Archer on Amazon Here

As parents, we're often told how important it is to guide, nurture, and protect, but what about just being silly? Humor plays a critical role in child development, and in this episode, Max and Matt get rounded out as they dive into a study highlighting the importance of being a parent who embraces humor. Whether it's being the silly parent, encouraging kids to crack jokes, or just watching funny stuff on TV, The Boys break down the different types of humor kids develop at various stages and how it can affect their development. Plus, they'll share their own funny, tried-and-true methods of getting their little ones rolling on the floor. This is a fun one, so get ready to chuckle your way through parenting. LET'S GO!Buy Violet Archer on Amazon Here

This is part 2 of a two parter. So if you haven't listened to episode #67, maybe hit that one first. This is a continuation of a wide-ranging conversation with Caitlin Murray of Big Time Adulting (@bigtimeadulting). We started off talking about how social media sometimes makes us feel like lousy parents, but in part two we wander into everything from the heartache of getting ready for school, to nasty hangovers, to learning to forgive ourselves for our inevitable failures. You don't have to listen to part one before diving in, but it won't hurt... and it'll make a lot more sense why we keep using the phrase sh*t d*ck. So crank up the volume, and get yourself a snack!Buy Violet Archer on Amazon Here

Matt and Max talk about how Max has been tired for the past four days and how his kids have been annoying him to no end.When=Now Episodes are a second bonus episode we drop some weeks. The topic is something that's going on in our life right now. Less research, more gritty, no editing, and more free flowing.  Enjoy!Buy Violet Archer on Amazon Here

One of the toughest parts about parenting is all the other examples we see of it around us every day. Whether it's a parenting influencer telling you how to handle tantrums better, or your high school friends posting pictures of the amazing arts & crafts they've done with their kids, it's easy to feel like you're not stacking up. Max and Matt have their good friend Caitlin Murray of Big Time Adulting on to explore why sometimes getting parenting advice from experts makes their blood boil. Is it that we didn't use the right words during our attempt to diffuse a tantrum? Or was it that we didn't have our own sh*t together? Caitlin is absolutely hilarious and if you haven't checked out her instagram, @bigtimeadulting, do it now. You'll laugh your ass of and feel truly seen as a parent in today's world. And it'll also give you some insight into why this episode had us laughing so much. This is part one of a two parter. Enjoy!Buy Violet Archer on Amazon Here

Matt and Max talk about how Matt broke his headphones in an angry moment yesterday and how that might have some parallels with parenting.When=Now Episodes are a second bonus episode we drop some weeks. The topic is something that's going on in our life right now. Less research, more gritty, no editing, and more free flowing.  Enjoy!Buy Violet Archer on Amazon Here

This is part two of a two-parter (Part 1 is Episode #63). We don't really love the whole concept of "Parenting Hacks," because any trick that promises to make this sh*t-show easy is typically a load of hooey, and one-size-fits-all solutions don't work nearly as often as they claim to. But there are a handful of things Max and Matt have figured out over the years - mostly through trial and a comedy of errors - that have made certain aspects of the grind a little bit easier. On this Hot Takes episode, The Boys are sharing those hopefully helpful strategies with each other. We worked backward from common hangups. Max sent a bunch of his daily annoyances over to Matt, who tried to offer any useful solves he's worked out over the years... and vice versa. These bad boys run the gamut from how to avoid "sheepdogging" your kid from one room to the next at bedtime, to finding fun summer activities that don't cost an arm and a leg, to dealing with your kids' inevitable desire to look at your phone. Here we go!Buy Violet Archer on Amazon Here

Matt and Max talk about a very recent moment when Max screamed at his kids.When=Now Episodes are a second bonus episode we drop some weeks. The topic is something that's going on in our life right now. Less research, more gritty, no editing, and more free flowing.  Enjoy!Buy Violet Archer on Amazon Here

We don't really love the whole concept of "Parenting Hacks," because any trick that promises to make this sh*t-show easy is typically a load of hooey, and one-size-fits-all solutions don't work nearly as often as they claim to. But there are a handful of things Max and Matt have figured out over the years - mostly through trial and a comedy of errors - that have made certain aspects of the grind a little bit easier. On this Hot Takes episode, The Boys are sharing those hopefully helpful strategies with each other. We worked backward from common hangups. Max sent a bunch of his daily annoyances over to Matt, who tried to offer any useful solves he's worked out over the years... and vice versa. These bad boys run the gamut from how to avoid "sheepdogging" your kid from one room to the next at bedtime, to finding fun summer activities that don't cost an arm and a leg, to dealing with your kids' inevitable desire to look at your phone. This is part one of a two-parter, y'all. Here we go!Buy Violet Archer on Amazon Here

Matt and Max talk about how friendship is so important in today's world and how sometimes we can get different things from different people in our life.When=Now Episodes are a second bonus episode we drop some weeks. The topic is something that's going on in our life right now. Less research, more gritty, no editing, and more free flowing.  Enjoy!Buy Violet Archer on Amazon Here

Trying something new here folks - it's our first ever Milkless Mailbag! Listeners sent in questions, and Max and Matt did their best to say useful things - with the help of good friend and returning guest Sam "Ice Man" Stolper. We cover topics ranging from overbearing grandparents, to sharing the load within a marriage, to the challenges of maintaining a clean home (and the value of recognizing that not everyone shares the same definition of "clean"). This is the hardest we've laughed making an episode in quite some time, so sit back and crank it.Buy Violet Archer on Amazon Here

Max and Matt are joined by the famous Bez, as the three Dads dive into the often tricky balance between firm boundaries and gentle parenting. What does it look like to put your foot down kindly with a kid who's truly ready to test your limits? What can we do before that meeting of the wills that will hopefully make it go better? How do we calm our own worries that those necessary limit-setting clashes will create long term ripples in the relationship? We also talk a lot about how different this can look from one kid to the next, or even with the same kid at different points in their life. This is one of the many balance beams that we're always walking as parents: respecting our kids' feelings and who they are and creating an environment that doesn't feel like a dictatorship but does acknowledge the many ways in which our kids need us to say, "no" when they can't do it for themselves. We ain't got it figured out yet, but we're working on it. Here we go! Buy Violet Archer on Amazon Here

Matt and Max talk about how one of the great mistakes of humankind is how we are more apt to follow consensus over what might yield the best outcomes.When=Now Episodes are a second bonus episode we're dropping each week. The topic is something that's going on in our life right now. Less research, more gritty, no editing, and more free flowing.  Enjoy!Buy Violet Archer on Amazon Here

The data is overwhelming: adults who commit themselves to acts of service and make volunteering a part of their life are just way happier. And, like everything else, that's a muscle you start building when you're a kid. But unless you belong to a religious community, you've kind of got to bring your own beer in terms of incorporating service into your family's life. And with young kids, your options can feel a little limited, because... well, no offense, but five year olds suck at a lot of stuff. So how do you find opportunities that start to instill an instinct for service in your kids? How do we balance boots on the ground volunteerism with making thoughtful decisions about monetary donations? How do we create a healthy connection between privilege and responsibility without dipping into the shame zone. Max and Matt are joined by longtime friend Simon Salgado, who has put a lot of thought into all of these questions and helps make it a funny episode with a lot of laughs. He also shames Max and Matt by making the most disgusting joke of the episode. You win this round, Salgado. Buy Violet Archer on Amazon Here

Matt and Max talk about how important it is to have adult time away from kids and then meander into how strange the parenting social media universe can be.When =Now Episodes are a second bonus episode we're dropping each week. The topic is something that's going on in our life right now. Less research, more gritty, no editing, and more free flowing.  Enjoy!Buy Violet Archer on Amazon Here