Sitting in a Car

The school's version of sex-ed vs what you've been teaching is very different. So, what now? Send him in to learn about sex-ed from this point of view or keep him home so that your point of view remains unchallenged? It can be a tough decision, yet it can also be simple. Are we trying to create clones of ourselves or raise kids that are free to be exactly who they are and can come and talk to us about anything under the sun? The latter, right? So maybe, we can ask him how he feels about it and also weigh up the pros and cons of being part of the lesson so together you and he can make a collaborative decision. This in itself is a great life skill. I'm sharing a few nuggets in today's episode (if I do say so myself) and I look forward to hearing how you get on with them. In today's episode we cover: The two sentence starters you can use to help you have a convo with your kid about how we all have different ways of thinking and/or seeing things. What non-binary thinking is and how to explain it to your kid. How to set a culture of collaboration with your kid so they can be involved in making decisions that affect them. If you'd like to join us in the Evolve School where I teach the whole Evolved Family Method let me know here. Until next episode, x Sarah

Our job is to be there for our kids, no matter what. And their job is to ask for help, no matter what. And so if there is something that they need to talk about, they need to know they must ask for help. As many times as possible, until they get it. People being hurt by sex (this can happen for many reasons) is a difficult topic to speak about. But having these kinds of chats with our kids is important. For their growth and awareness. So have a listen to this week's episode to learn how to have this kind of talk with your kid. Building the courage to speak openly with our kids about all kinds of topics is important for our own connection with them and ourselves. If you need more support with this, feel free to reach out here and leave me your details. I'll get back to you. For now, have a listen to how we use courage to have complex conversations about difficult topics. x Sarah

Speaking to kids in general about sensitive topics is hard. If you have a kid on the spectrum, you may question if this is still appropriate. And it most definitely is. Saying more as early as you can is how you protect them and support them in their uniqueness. I'm giving 3 recommendations in this episode of how to chat with your kid, who's on the spectrum. Recommended Books: Things Tom Likes by Kate E Reynolds Things Ellie Likes by Kate E Reynolds What's happening to Ellie by Kate E Reynolds What's happening to Tom by Kate E Reynolds The growing up book for boys by Davida Hartman The growing up book for girls by Davida Hartman Sensory: Life on the spectrum by Schnumn Divergent Mind: Thriving in a world that wasn't designed for you by Jenara Nerenberg If you would like to learn all the strategies inside the growth, courage and kindness pillars let me know here. Until next episode, Sarah

And is now fixated on the fact that people kiss each other's private parts if they're in a relationship. Now this is not only awkward but it's complex. Where do you start with this? What do you focus on? What do you say? Here's the thing, it's likely that you're both shocked. You: that she knows this information. Her: that anybody would want to put their mouth on another's private area. So in this episode I'm going to show you how to help your kid who's fixated on the fact that people kiss each other's privates, if they're in a relationship. Accept that kids talk (4:34) What is consent (6:38) Have a convo about sex? (8:30) Want to learn the complete evolved family method that helps parents and other caring adults manage feelings of awkwardness while talking about quite complex details about bodies and sexuality? Click here and I'll send you some information. Until next episode, x Sarah

“Family comes first.' ‘Girls don't answer back.' ‘Don't be awkward.' How about, “It's ok not to be hugged or kissed by (insert family member's name)?” Girls should know that they've a right to set boundaries and know what that looks and feels like. That's what being a courageous parent will help you do. It will help you support your little girl in setting healthy boundaries around her body. Today's episode highlights that it doesn't matter what age your kid is, you can speak up for them until they're old enough to speak up for themselves. In today's episode you'll learn: What The Family Cringe Crusher is and how to use it. How to recognise your own boundaries. How to support your kid's body autonomy around extended family members. Knowing what to do is one thing but do you have the ability to sit with the intense emotions of others and stay centred and grounded at the same time? If not, and you would like support, let me know here. Until next episode, x Sarah

Kids are constantly learning how to make choices, without hurting others. They're learning about consent and what that looks like for themselves and others. They're learning about what is enjoyable for them. They're discovering what brings them pleasure. And it's our job as parents to give them lots of chances to discover these things safely and with encouragement and joy. Proteced from the judgment of others, in particular other adults and their secret messages. I understand that this can bring up very complex emotions too so it's vital to have the necessary support so we can be what our kid(s) need. Have a listen to this episode for 3 things you can do when your 5-yr-old likes to wear his cousin's ballerina dress. Also, if you need that extra support remember you can sign up here for The Evolved School. Until next week, x Sarah

Potential responses… Silence, because what do you say? Tell them that's an inappropriate question and they mustn't ask again because what if they say something at school? Ask other parent friends for their advice because what do you say?! All these responses make sense. They're an indication of the tongue-tied parenting effect. And so in this week's episode I'm giving 3 pointers that will help you answer the question, in an age-appropriate way, whilst offering a way for you to look after yourself as well. Have a broader convo about what sex is (2:54) How to talk about pleasure in an age-appropriate way (5:34) Giving your kid context for the consequences of sharing info (10:33) If you feel uncomfortable, tongue-tied and unsure about having sensitive convos with your kid(s), The Evolve School is a great place for you to learn the skills and get tools and resources to support you inside a like-minded community. Connected communication is centred on growth, courage and kindness. If you're Interested in joining let me know here. x Sarah

He says he hates genitals. His and everybody else's. He thinks they're super weird. Did I say too much too soon? What can I do now to help him with these feelings? These might be questions you find yourself asking yourself when your kid tells you they hate something about themselves after giving them much needed info about bodies and life. We need a range of skills to feel like we're doing a good enough job. So what do you do when you've been doing the “right” things and then your kid tells you they hate parts of theirs and others bodies? In today's episode we're learning how to use courage to stay focused and present in the presence of really complex, difficult and even painful emotions. Let your kid(s) know that they get to talk about things: they don't like that make them feel uncomfortable that other people do that piss them off If your nervous system is all over the place and you need support for yourself, consider joining our community of parents who are learning the skills, tools and techniques to take care of their own needs as well as their kid(s). Sign up here to learn more. x Sarah

This is a sign your baby is growing up! Her classmates are throwing the term boyfriend/girlfriend around and now she's asking what that is. This might confuse you as you think about what these terms mean when referring to adults. Which will get you thinking about what is ok for your kid to know. Right? Because clearly, and this is ok, your kid is just catching up with this stage of development. So let me share ways you can explain to your 8-yr-old what boyfriends/girlfriends are in a way that is inclusive, invites open communication and builds a deeper connection. We're pulling from the growth pillar for this one and of course, as usual, if you need more support for your own emotions and needs you are invited to leave your details here. Wanna skip to the good parts? Reasons we may not have already had this convo and why that's ok (1:30) How to be inclusive and less gendered (4:30) Why it's important to talk about all the different types of relationships (5:29) Ways to share your experiences to normalise big feelings (7:38) I'd love to hear your stories on how you got on with starting convos about sensitive topics such as explaining what boyfriends and girlfriends are drop me a DM. x Sarah

Would you stick the words pu$$y or c0ck on the fridge as a fun learning technique? Can you imagine your mum or aunt coming over and them seeing that? No? Ok, so this might not be suitable for your family and that's ok. I'm sharing how this CAN work for some and other ways that it could work for you, if this feels too extreme. So let's dive into how you can have an open convo with your kids about the slang words used for body parts so they're informed and feel able to talk to you about anything. Do you always have to use the correct anatomical word? (4:46) Characteristics of an evolved communicating family (6:23) Build a bridge and make it fun (7:36) How can I be sure my kid won't get confused and use these slang words in everyday life? (11:39) As you know, we use 3 pillars to help you build your evolved communicating family. Growth, Courage & Kindness. Growth is about being able to talk about all and any sensitive topics no matter what age your kid is at. Courage is about being able to start convos about challenging/sensitive topics. The kindness pillar is all about emotional management aka emotional intelligence. If you could use support with any of these pillars let me know you'd like some info by leaving your details here. Until next week, Sarah

Do you have the skills and abilities to sit with really complex emotions? Complex emotions like fear, worry, embarrassment, tension, or anger. Whether they show up in you or others? This is what you can learn if you join my community to learn The Evolved Family Method. Your friend, who you love, is constantly making negative and toxic comments about her body and the body of others, around your kids. You want her to stop but need some help in what to say. In today's episode I'm sharing how you can discuss this with your kids and also how you can best approach your friend. Connection is at the heart of Sitting In a Car and for the relationship you want to build with your kids and the adults in your life. Remember to grab a pen and paper so you can get the suggested wording to use and adapt for your own convos going forward. You can also grab the free resource I mentioned via the link in my bio. (KELI CAN YOU MAKE SURE THIS LINK IS IN THE INSTAGRAM BIO PLEASE - You can edit the bio in searchie - thanks) If you would love more support with your emotions, talking about sensitive things and plucking up the courage to do so, then The Evolved Family Method may be for you. Drop me a DM to have a chat or head to the link in my bio to join The Evolve School waitlist. x Sarah

‘How do you discuss sexual desire with adolescents? And without shame?' This is such a great question – and it's not just a question for parents of adolescents. It's a question that relates to kids of all ages. Because when our young people know what desire is and can talk about it, it's a sign of self-awareness. They are learning to speak up for the things they need and want. And pushing push back against the shame that might keep them quiet or small and not able to speak about what they want. We've lots to say on this wonderful and important topic. And lots of tips for you, for when you have convos about this – including how to chat to your teenagers, and want more privacy, and mightn't want to chat to YOU about any of this at all! This episode is a gentle reminder about this past question on Sitting in a Car and how my answer can support even more connection between you and your growing kid. Because sometimes it's helpful to be reminded of the things you wanted to talk about in your family but you've forgotten about in the swirl of family life x

‘What do you say when your 9-year-old daughter says she doesn't want to have a period?' This is such a good question - and not just for parents of 9-year-olds who are thinking about periods, but for all of us. Cos this question is really about connection. This week on Sitting in a Car, I remember when I got my first period. Because my family didn't talk about periods, I decided I wanted to keep my period a secret. (You can hear how that worked out here.) This episode is a gentle reminder about this past question on Sitting in a Car and how my answer can support even more connection between you and your growing kid. Because sometimes it's helpful to be reminded of the things you wanted to talk about in your family but you've forgotten about in the swirl of family life x

A mum asks, ‘How do you deal with awkward daddies? Ours panics at the word vagina when our girls say it.' This is such a super question, because it allows us to chat about gender, and the expectations around what certain genders get to say and do. In this week's episode, I talk about how to make space for male parents to grow into talking to their kids about puberty, bodies, and sex. This episode is a gentle reminder about this past question on Sitting in a Car and how my answer can support even more connection between you and your growing kid. Because sometimes it's helpful to be reminded of the things you wanted to talk about in your family but you've forgotten about in the swirl of family life x

‘If your 8-year-old child is not asking questions, should you initiate the conversation? How do you know what they're ready to learn?' This is such a great question, because it gets to the heart of what we think about s=e=x=. And the answer to this question applies to children of every age. In our video and podcast this week, there are loads of great ways to get this convo started, even if you're both new at it. Ps. This is a gentle reminder of how to support even more connection between you and your growing kid. Because sometimes it's helpful to be reminded of the things you wanted to talk about in your family but you've forgotten about it in the swirl of family life x

‘How can I chat with my squeamish 8-year-old about periods? I started a conversation with her once about periods, and she was totally squicked out. I'd love some help.' What a great question. I'm sure this parent isn't alone in this. So what do we do when we have info we need to give our kid so that they stay safe and healthy growing up, but which they're too squicked out to hear? My answer this week comes from the Courage pillar of the Evolved Family method. The Courage pillar helps us look at how we can support our child exactly as they are, without pretending, or wishing, they were easier to talk to about sensitive stuff! It teaches us how to start conversations, and which actual words to use. To hear more about how to use the Courage pillar and chat with your squicky kid about periods, watch this week's episode of SItting in a Car here. And here's to doing our best to stay connected to our growing kids. x Sarah This episode is a gentle reminder about this past question on Sitting in a Car and how my answer can support even more connection between you and your growing kid. Because sometimes it's helpful to be reminded of the things you wanted to talk about in your family but you've forgotten about in the swirl of family life x

Let's talk about how to teach your kid about consent – even if you're not sure they're old enough. For a lot of us, consent can feel like a super tricky area. ‘Cause consent is about sex, right? So in order to chat with your kid about consent – to help them know their own boundaries and needs, while respecting the boundaries and needs of others – they need to know about sex. Right? Actually, not at all! We can start helping our kids understand about consent from when they're very small. To hear more about how to teach our kids about consent in everyday ways, no matter their age, watch this week's episode of Sitting in a Car x Sarah If you're finding that teaching consent is becoming increasingly important to you, DM me so I can let you know how The Evolve School could help you do this important part of parenting x This episode is a gentle reminder about this past question on Sitting in a Car and how my answer can support even more connection between you and your growing kid. Because sometimes it's helpful to be reminded of the things you wanted to talk about in your family but you've forgotten about in the swirl of family life x

Let's talk about how to chat with your kid about puberty, in a way that makes them feel supported and able to come to you with any questions or worries they have as they grow up. Here's what A LOT of courageous but tongue-tied parents do, when it comes to chatting about puberty. They wait to chat with their kids about puberty, until they begin to see the signs that their kid might be starting to go through it. And THEN, they have, or try to have, a conversation with their kid about it. That makes sense, right? But here's the problem. if you don't talk about any of this stuff with your kid when they are younger and feeling relaxed in their body, AND THEN suddenly out of the blue start talking about it with your kid while their body is already changing, there's going to be a *lot* of awkwardness. But! Good news. There are ways to prevent this. For lots more about how to dive into the complexities of starting ongoing conversations with your kid about puberty and so much more, watch this week's episode of Sitting in a Car here on Facebook. x Sarah Ps. This is a gentle reminder of how to support even more connection between you and your growing kid. Because sometimes it's helpful to be reminded of the things you wanted to talk about in your family but you've forgotten about it in the swirl of family life x

“Is it ok to tell a 4-year-old they came out of the vagina?” What an awesome question this week. It's important for all adults to think about this, even if your kids are older or younger. I think the answer starts with how we can get comfortable doing the parts of parenting that feel extra difficult. (In this weeks episode, I tell a personal story about how my anxiety stopped me being able to show up for my kids in an everyday situation.) So what can parents and other adults who care for children say to young kids about how babies are born? To hear more about how to chat about birth, have a look at this week's episode. Ps. This is a gentle reminder of how to support even more connection between you and your growing kid. Because sometimes it's helpful to be reminded of the things you wanted to talk about in your family, but you've forgotten about it in the swirl of family life x

‘How can I have conversations about consent with young children?' I love this question. Because yes, it's about consent, my favourite subject – but consent isn't always about sex so that makes it an easy topic to talk about with smaller kids. You see, consent is actually about respecting yourself and others. And we all want to raise kids who respect themselves and the people around them :) So, YES! We certainly can talk about consent with very young kids. And the great thing about it, is, childhood is FULL of ways to chat about consent. I have a story for you this week about something I overheard, during one of my kids' playdates, where a really gross, funny game was happening, and how I intervened, to let everyone know that nobody has to eat anything they don't want to eat (don't ask!). Watch this week's episode below. It's a good one x Sarah Ps. and if you've got pets at home I've got some ideas in this weeks episode that might work really well for your family. Ps. This email is a gentle reminder about this past episode of Sitting in a Car and how it can support even more connection between you and your growing kid. Because sometimes it's helpful to be reminded of the things you wanted to talk about in your family but you've forgotten about in the swirl of family life x

‘How do you teach your kid not to touch their vulva or bum in public without body shaming them?' What a great question! It's so useful for all of us who want to raise a child who is not ashamed of their body. Lots of us know from personal experience that when we feel shame about our body, it disempowers us. It makes it harder to speak up for what we need. It makes it harder to ask for help if something doesn't feel right. It even makes it harder to ask for medical attention when we need it. So there are so many great reasons why we want to avoid body shame for our kids. How can we help our kids understand that there are rules about how and when we touch our own bodies, without body shaming them? To hear more about how to have these conversations about bodies, and about how to raise kids without shame, have a look at Sitting in a Car this week x Sarah Ps. This is a gentle reminder of how to support even more connection between you and your growing kid. Because sometimes it's helpful to be reminded of the things you wanted to talk about in your family, but you've forgotten about it in the swirl of family life x

‘Should you talk to your 6-year-old about pleasure? And if so, how should you do it?' The parent who wrote in with this question also said, ‘I can talk about procreation, but I can't jump to pleasure! What do I do now?' This is such a great conversation to have! Because, if you think about it, we are so careful, and spend so much time, learning how to talk to our kids about sperms and eggs and how we make new humans. But… most sex that humans have, is because sex feels nice! It's not to make new babies. So how on earth do we talk about that? For more thoughts about this fascinating and complex topic, about why we should talk about pleasure with our kids starting from when they're very small, and scripts and ideas for how to do it, have a have a listen to this week's episode. Ps. This is a gentle reminder of how to support even more connection between you and your growing kid. Because sometimes it's helpful to be reminded of the things you wanted to talk about in your family, but you've forgotten about it in the swirl of family life x

‘I'm a trans dad and I want to be able to talk to my girls about sex in all its forms. How can I approach chats about non-traditional relationships?' There are three things to think about, when you're having chats like this with your kids. It's so important to teach our kids that they don't have to fit into a mould, and be who the world tells them they should be! And that they can just be fully themselves. And indeed, doesn't the world tell us quite narrow, quite fixed things sometimes about what s=e=x is, and what gender is, and what relationships are? But of course we know that the options for who we grow up to be is so much wider and wonderful than that. So if we can chat with our kids about how the world teaches us very limiting ideas about relationships, we can help them to grow into whomever they are. And for much more about exactly how to have chats with your kids in ways that leave loads of room for our kids' uniqueness and the amazing diversity of life, listen to this week's episode of Sitting in a Car. Ps. This is a gentle reminder of how to support even more connection between you and your growing kid. Because sometimes it's helpful to be reminded of the things you wanted to talk about in your family, but you've forgotten about it in the swirl of family life x

This week, let's talk about how to avoid passing on shame to our kid(s). And I'm going to show you how the Evolved Family method does exactly that with it's three pillars, Growth, Courage, and Kindness. Because the whole Evolved Family method is about reducing shame. The best way I know to reduce shame, is by building deeper connections with our kids. And the way we do that, is by having conversations with our kids about sensitive things. Connection is about openness. Connection is about feeling seen & heard. When we feel connected w someone else, shame doesn't exist there. So! Press play and watch this week's episode of Sitting in a Car, cos it's a special one. And if you'd like to know more about Growth, Courage and Kindness, and the Evolved Family method, reply to this email and I'll let you know the next time The Evolve School opens its doors. Ps. This is a gentle reminder of how to support even more connection between you and your growing kid. Because sometimes it's helpful to be reminded of the things you wanted to talk about in your family, but you've forgotten about it in the swirl of family life x

Let's chat about boundaries. A parent who wrote in, has an over-enthusiastic kid Who loves to hug and embrace and touch all the time! And this parent's not fully comfortable with this, but of course doesn't want to shame her child. This is a super question. My answer comes from the courage pillar of the Evolved Family method, which looks at the skills we need to step up and speak out about super sensitive topics. A situation like this is a great opportunity to teach our kid about consent. So often, when we think about consent, we think about teaching our kid to speak up for themselves, and how to say no when they need to say no. But another really important part of consent, is learning to listen to other people's needs. If you want to learn more about that, visit www.sarahsproule.com/evolve and put your name down to find out when The Evolve School opens next. In the meantime, to hear much more about how to hold gentle but firm boundaries without shame, and how to help our kids get what they need, spend some time with me on this week's episode of Sitting in a Car x Ps. This is a gentle reminder of how to support even more connection between you and your growing kid. Because sometimes it's helpful to be reminded of the things you wanted to talk about in your family, but you've forgotten about it in the swirl of family life x

This week, a parent asks, ‘How do I respond to things I hear my kid say that I don't agree with?' This is a great question, because on the one hand, we want to raise kids whose values are in line with ours. But on the other hand, we don't want our kid to feel we're constantly telling them that what they believe is wrong! So what can we do? This is a super-juicy topic and this week's episode gives you loads of real-world tips on how to have these conversations. By the way, you may be starting to realise that gaining higher level skills like these is becoming a priority for you. Your kids are growing older and you want your skills to be rock-solid. If that sounds like you, visit www.sarahsproule.com/evolve and leave me your info. That way I can let you know the next time I open The Evolve School – so you'll be able to learn everything you need to know about how to have these sorts of conversations and build more connection with your growing kid. Sarah x This episode is a gentle reminder about this past question on Sitting in a Car and how my answer can support even more connection between you and your growing kid. Because sometimes it's helpful to be reminded of the things you wanted to talk about in your family but you've forgotten about in the swirl of family life x

‘How can I get my 5-year-old daughter to stop touching her little brother's penis, without shaming her? I've said that his penis is private, like her vulva is for her. But she keeps doing it.' What a great question. As parents, it's good to talk about this. Because when stuff like this happens with our kids, we immediately think about horrible news stories of abuse and non-consent, and our minds go to some very scary places. So we really want to get this right. But here's the thing. It's actually NORMAL for kids to be curious about bodies. Their own bodies and other people's. To hear more about this great question, have a look at our video here. x Sarah Ps. This is a gentle reminder of how to support even more connection between you and your growing kid. Because sometimes it's helpful to be reminded of the things you wanted to talk about in your family, but you've forgotten about it in the swirl of family life x

I have a fantastic question for you this week. A parent writes, ‘How can I teach my 15-year-old daughter to say no when she's in highly pressurised situations?' My answer to this week's question comes from the Courage pillar inside the Evolved Family Method – which helps us speak up about complicated things, using everyday situations in a way that builds deeper connection with our child(ren) as we do it. This is a super question because so many parents really don't feel great about this bit of parenting. In the teenage years, we can feel a bit like our kid has drifted apart from us. We might feel our influence waning. We could feel a bit out of control, out of our depth. We might find ourselves saying things like, ‘You know you can always say no, right?' And watching our teenager roll their eyes and say, ‘I KNOW.' And it's not a convo that feels very connected or very good. In fact, it's MOST unhelpful! So what can we do about it? If you feel like you could use some support for this part of your parenting and to hear all about how to teach your teen to say ‘No' more easily, join me on this week's episode of Sitting in a Car. I'll see you there x Sarah Ps. This is a gentle reminder of how to support even more connection between you and your growing kid. Because sometimes it's helpful to be reminded of the things you wanted to talk about in your family, but you've forgotten about it in the swirl of family life x

‘What's a good way to manage nakedness in family situations, both for parents & kids' What a great thing to chat about! But before we get into it, I want to reminisce a bit. We are so influenced by the culture we're raised in. Depending on the country where you are living, there will be different levels of nakedness that seem normal. But we also get to create our own family culture, we can think about this stuff and decide for ourselves how we want to be with our bodies, and how we want our family to be. Isn't that great? To hear more about nakedness, listen to this week's episode of Sitting in a Car. Let's chat about being nude. Ps. This is a gentle reminder of how to support even more connection between you and your growing kid. Because sometimes it's helpful to be reminded of the things you wanted to talk about in your family, but you've forgotten about it in the swirl of family life x

Let's chat about the hidden questions you mightn't even know to ask, that will give you more connected conversations with your kids. These questions come from the Courage pillar of the Evolved Family method, which is all about connection – and empathy. You may be surprised to learn (or not!) that the key to a lot of the questions we parents find the hardest to answer, is empathy. So let's talk about the emotions and thoughts that go unsaid when we're having sensitive conversations with our kids – and how we can use those hidden questions, no matter how scary, to create a more connected family. If you feel like you could use some more support to build deeper connections with your kid(s), join me on this week's episode of Sitting in a Car. x Sarah This episode is a gentle reminder about this past question on Sitting in a Car and how my answer can support even more connection between you and your growing kid. Because sometimes it's helpful to be reminded of the things you wanted to talk about in your family but you've forgotten about in the swirl of family life x

'How can I talk to my kids about porn, in a non-alarming way?' Let's dig deep into three simple ways to make this easier. The answer to this question comes from the Courage pillar of the Evolved Family method. As you might know, if you watch Sitting in a Car quite a lot, the Courage pillar has to do with how we as adults can take responsibility for speaking up, and the tools we can use to do it. We learn how to start conversations, and what sentences and words to use. The Courage pillar is especially helpful here, because a lot of grown-ups feel afraid of this topic! We might try to shield our kids from ever seeing porn in the first place (not possible), or we might worry that if we talk about it… they might go look for it. So how can we chat with our kids about porn, in a way that is non-alarming? For lots of specific tips, watch this week's episode here. And if you'd like to get Sitting in a Car straight to your inbox, Dm me and I'll get that sorted for you. x Sarah This episode is a gentle reminder about this past question on Sitting in a Car and how my answer can support even more connection between you and your growing kid. Because sometimes it's helpful to be reminded of the things you wanted to talk about in your family but you've forgotten about in the swirl of family life x

‘Can I talk to my 7-year-old about her clitoris?' This is such an important episode this week. Because lots of us don't feel comfortable talking about the clitoris. The clitoris is all about pleasure. And pleasure is something we might find difficult to talk about with kids. And you know what? That's perfectly normal. A lot of us have had no modeling for how to have conversations about sensitive stuff with our kid(s. So it makes sense that we might feel a bit uncomfortable, and not at all confident about how to do it. This week I've got three tips to help you have the clitoris talk this week. They are all from the Growth Pillar inside the Evolved Family Method. To hear all about it, come join me in Sitting in a Car. And if you'd like to learn more about the Evolved Family Method, send me a PM and I'll help you with that x Ps. This episode is a gentle reminder about this past question on Sitting in a Car and how my answer can support even more connection between you and your growing kid. Because sometimes it's helpful to be reminded of the things you wanted to talk about in your family but you've forgotten about in the swirl of family life x

‘How can I talk to my 7-year-old about body image?' This parent's young girl has started saying not very nice things about her own body, and has started expressing an interest in extremely skinny body types. (You can hear the whole question & story in this week's podcast.) This courageous but tongue-tied parent is confused, like many of us would be in her situation, because she's done everything right. She's taught her kid about healthy eating, exercise and all the things. She's never criticised her own body, or mentioned weight around her child. So how has this happened? As you can see, this is deep stuff. If you're feeling like you could use more support in this part of your parenting, and to hear much more about how to chat about body image with your kids, have a listen to this week's episode of Sitting in a Car here - And I'll see you there. x Sarah Ps.This episode is a gentle reminder about this past question on Sitting in a Car and how my answer can support even more connection between you and your growing kid. Because sometimes it's helpful to be reminded of the things you wanted to talk about in your family but you've forgotten about in the swirl of family life x

This episode is a gentle reminder about this past question on Sitting in a Car and how my answer can support even more connection between you and your growing kid. Because sometimes it's helpful to be reminded of the things you wanted to talk about in your family but you've forgotten about in the swirl of family life x When it came to awkward conversations, our parents did their best with what they knew. Whether you were dismissed, made to feel uncomfortable or awkward about sensitive subjects, you want to do things differently, and build an Evolved Communicating Family. However, you may experience a level of panic or dread when it comes to having these same conversations with your kid, especially if they are young. If you feel you could use some support and actionable pointers for this part of your parenting, join me on this week's episode of Sitting in a Car. I'll see you there. x Sarah

In this episode you're going to learn how to educate yourself so you can have sensitive convos with your stepson who has come out to you as trans. Firstly, what a privilege it is that your stepson has trusted you with this information about himself. And it's beautiful that you've accepted this and want to learn how best to support him going forwards. In this episode I share 3 things to help you prepare for this change so you can be there for your step kid or any sort of kid, and learn how to talk to a trans kid about sensitive things. Want to skip ahead? Learn to celebrate your different experiences (7:02) An honour and prompt to re-educate self (8:46) Book Resources (10:50) Sex is a funny word by Cory Silverberg & Fiona Smith The ABCs of LGBT+ by Ashley Mardel Trans+ by Kathryn Gonzales & Karen Rayne Gender Explorers by Juno Roche www.genderspectrum.org And it makes sense that if you've never had acceptance and unconditional support modelled to you this situation can be extremely challenging because it is very complex and can bring up various emotions within us. In particular fear and maybe even your own painful experiences of rejection. This is why I have The Evolve School. It not only helps you learn how to talk to your kid(s) about ANYthing sensitive but it also helps you learn how to be kind to yourself as you learn new skills to help you build an evolved communicating family. So if you feel that you could do with further support leave your details here and I'll be in touch when we next open.

Today's question is ‘Should I shower naked in front of my kids? What about my husband?' This parent is asking for help in deciding what is best for her kids. However, as much as I offer my tools and experience, only you can have the final say in what is best for you and your kids. So I'm sharing 3 things to consider when asking what the right thing to do is in a situation like this: Your nervous system. How does it feel? Does it feel safe or dangerous? Again, how does it feel? Is your decision being influenced by society's rules about gender and what is and isn't acceptable? Honest storytelling The Evolved Family Method is a complete method that supports families to have conversations about every sort of sensitive topic in a way that builds deeper connection with growing kids. Nakedness is about how we feel, how we actually feel, not what our kids need. But if we're operating from past experiences, how we feel may not reflect how we want to show up as parents. So using the Kindness pillar of the Method I share tools and techniques with you so you can learn principles on how to nourish your nervous system and how to reprogram how it feels around things to do with sensitive stuff, nakedness, and all that stuff. Because at the end of the day, we're here to do better perhaps than what our natural inclination might be or what we experienced growing up. As at the date of this podcast being released The Evolved School is open. So if you're interested in joining me and other parents like you, get in touch today. Here's to raising your caring and confident young person to respect themselves and those around them. Until next week, x Sarah

You've been trusted with some new information about your tween and you've been over to Google to get help and come up short. What now? In this week's episode we're diving into the courage and growth pillars to learn how we can continue building our evolved communicating family. Connection is such an important piece of the foundation and will support the rest. Have a listen as this episode, although answering a question about how to handle your tween's sexual orientation provides information that can be used time and time again, no matter the topic. Tongue-tied parenting effect (2:37) Is giving the information more important than the connection with your kid? (3:59) How can we apologise? Is it necessary? (6:14) Book resources (10:43) Let's Talk About It by Erika Moen & Matthew Nolan Wait, what? by Heather Corrina Sex Educated by Grace Alice O'Shea & Sexual Health West The Evolve School Doors are open! You can learn how to build deeper connections whilst talking about sensitive stuff, really complex stuff, related to sex, bodies and relationships through The Evolved Family Method. With practical support & skills you'll get the tools to help you raise your confident, caring and respectful young person. Learn more here about what is involved and join us if it calls to you.

This week we're finding out how to talk to your primary school aged kid(s) about an uncle who's transitioning into an aunt. It's totally understandable if strong emotions are present as this is a sensitive topic that can impact more than just your family. Your parenting community may be affected too, and how might they feel if your kid starts telling their kid this new info? The bottom line is you want to do your best for your kid(s), but you're not sure what that looks like or how to even do it? So in this episode we use the growth pillar to cover layering, gender expression, acceptance, and pronouns. How to layer information [5:06] What is Gender Expression [6:33] Practising Pronouns [11:03] Who Are You: The Kid's Guide to Gender Identity - Brook Pessin-Whedbee I hope this helps you but if you find you need more support please do get yourself on the list for The Evolve School. x Sarah Ps. If you'd like to discover how to give your kid the openness about sensitive topics that you didn't have growing up, click the link in my bio

Do you know what you would say to your 7 & 10 yr old if they found intimate photos of you, that you had taken for your partner, on your phone? That's the question I'm answering today. What to do and say as Mum's feeling embarrassed. This is a beautiful opportunity to teach. It's also a great opportunity for you to learn and practice skills that help you notice when your unhelpful unconscious beliefs are impacting your ability to connect with your kid(s). Kindness for yourself is so important when this happens. Have a listen to the episode to find out my 3 tips on what to say and how to handle this situation. x Sarah

Part of parenting is protecting our kid(s) and sometimes this looks like providing them with information that makes us uncomfortable because it's horrible and unpleasant. So how do we give them important information when it's horrible and unpleasant? How do keep their view of the world intact whilst simultaneously alerting them to the horrors that are also present? In today's episode I'm answering a question about child sexual abuse. More specifically, how to tell your young kid about it so you can help protect them. There are a range of skills that you're being called to access here, and if you don't have them please don't beat yourself up. This is not something that is taught. There's no “How to be a parent” guide or a handbook that helps us to ‘get it 100% right'. There are 3 things I'm sharing that I hope will help you in having this convo. I'm also sharing 7 books to support you as well, because let's face it even if we're speaking our kid's language there are so many different ways we can say something so we all want to do our best in this respect. Another key element to consider before having this convo is where you stand. What beliefs do you have about kids who experience sexual abuse? Have you had an experience (directly or indirectly) that you haven't dealt with? This is such a complex and layered topic so go easy on yourself when approaching it. I really hope these resources and this episode helps you in maintaining your kid(s) innocence whilst giving them the info they need to stay safe in this world. Until next episode, x Sarah

Udders (a functional part of cows, lambs, goats) produce milk in the same way that breasts (a functional part of women) produce milk for tiny humans. Do you think cows, lambs, or goats shame other cows, lambs or goats when feeding their young, just because farmers also milk them for dairy milk? Because breasts are also used for sexual pleasure, they should be kept hidden, covered up and not be seen outside of specific environments. Despite their original, natural function of feeding newborn babies. This week's podcast answers a Mum's question of how to answer her 2-year-olds questions around breastfeeding as she is expecting baby no.2 soon. With her first daughter she bottle fed if in public or went to a private room. Let me just say that these options are totally ok, if they are your choice. However, a mother who has been taught that her breasts should remain private and hidden, EVEN, when providing food for her kid, is being shamed and made to feel embarrassed about a natural, everyday thing. So this episode is made to help the Mama's with inquisitive 2-year-olds that want to know why Mummy is putting a boobie/breast/(insert word used) in their sibling's mouth. I share how you can satisfy any questions they have whilst building a foundational connection. My answers, also potentially, bring you some comfort if you're facing your own feelings (maybe shame/embarrassment/discomfort) around breasts and breastfeeding. A lot of the work we do around building connections with our kid(s) involves us taking a look at what we believe and what we were taught. This can be very uncomfortable. So remember to be kind to yourself and get ready for some surefire ways to support you in a situation like this. As always if you're needing some extra support do reach out via https://www.instagram.com/iamsarahsproule/ or join the The Evolve School waitlist. Until next time. x Sarah Shownotes Book: Milky by Agnes Saccani & Maria Betsworth - www.milkmakingmamas.co.uk IG: @MilkMakingMama

My 4 yr old is asking about my pills and I don't know what to tell them!” The thing that scientists and our kids have in common is their curiosity devoid of judgment. They seek information to give them an understanding. Whereas most of us are conditioned to attach our preconceived ideas to information. Minimal information in a situation like this is similar to stonewalling and the opposite of building connection. So what can we do instead? Practicing layering is a good place to start. Our kid is constantly gathering info and so we can give this info to them in small bite sizes, often. It's also beneficial to remember that we're also learning info about ourselves and that can sometimes be just as shocking as the questions we get asked. So we get to choose to be kind to ourselves and show compassion for where we are as we move towards where we want to be as parents. Let's also introduce some fun. How can we move from this being an awkward convo to it being informative and interesting for us and our kid(s). We can offer our kid info in a way that builds connection, soothes our nervous system and gives them age-appropriate information. You can find me over on https://www.instagram.com/iamsarahsproule/ to let me know how you get on and if these pointers were helpful. x Sarah

There can be a lot of conflicting advice around raising kids.  So who do we listen to when our kid, along with his friends, has been asking other kids to pull down their pants to see their genitals?  Immediately we might think: Omg, my kid is pressuring other kids to do things they don't want to do!  Will he not ask for consent when he's older?  What kind of kid have I raised? I've failed! What will other parents say? [insert your own immediate reaction] And anything that comes up is valid. Because we know what the world outside of our homes is like. However, it's also important to remember that behaviour is communication.  So, no you haven't failed!  Our kid is just letting us know, through his actions, that he needs more information. So, how do we get him the information he needs to understand consent and respecting other people's bodies? This episode gives you 3 options you can use with your 6yo to give him the information that he needs. Of course, first ruling out that there is nothing untoward happening to him or his friends, such as an adult having asked them to pull down their pants, and then we can practice consent and respect in a safe and loving space.  You're encouraged to remember that raising confident and caring kids is not always easy.  So please do be kind to yourself.  Especially if you didn't have many role models for this style of parenting. If that's the case for you my diary is open to have a chat about the specific needs of you and your family.  Visit www.sarahsproule.com/bio to book a chat with me here. Until next week's episode of Sitting in a Car, x Sarah

There can be a lot of conflicting advice around raising kids.  So who do we listen to when our kid, along with his friends, has been asking other kids to pull down their pants to see their genitals?  Immediately we might think: Omg, my kid is pressuring other kids to do things they don't want to do!  Will he not ask for consent when he's older?  What kind of kid have I raised? I've failed! What will other parents say? [insert your own immediate reaction] And anything that comes up is valid. Because we know what the world outside of our homes is like. However, it's also important to remember that behaviour is communication.  So, no you haven't failed!  Our kid is just letting us know, through his actions, that he needs more information. So, how do we get him the information he needs to understand consent and respecting other people's bodies? This episode gives you 3 options you can use with your 6yo to give him the information that he needs. Of course, first ruling out that there is nothing untoward happening to him or his friends, such as an adult having asked them to pull down their pants, and then we can practice consent and respect in a safe and loving space.  You're encouraged to remember that raising confident and caring kids is not always easy.  So please do be kind to yourself.  Especially if you didn't have many role models for this style of parenting. If that's the case for you my diary is open to have a chat about the specific needs of you and your family.  Visit www.sarahsproule.com/bio to book a chat with me here. Until next week's episode of Sitting in a Car, x Sarah

No you weren't wrong.  We do need to have sensitive convos with our kids that provide them with information that they will need as they grow. But what a lot of experts miss is that to have these kinds of convos  we need to establish and have nurtured a connection with our kid. The same connection we had with them as babies isn't the exact same one they need now.  So in learning new skills & strategies,  we can grow with them and maintain our connections. Have a listen to this week's podcast and let me know if you found it helpful.  As always, if you need more support in any part of your parenting The Evolve School would love to help you care for your kid. Join the waitlist here, www.sarahsproule.com/evolve  and I'll be in touch before the next enrollment.  x Sarah

No you weren't wrong.  We do need to have sensitive convos with our kids that provide them with information that they will need as they grow. But what a lot of experts miss is that to have these kinds of convos  we need to establish and have nurtured a connection with our kid. The same connection we had with them as babies isn't the exact same one they need now.  So in learning new skills & strategies,  we can grow with them and maintain our connections. Have a listen to this week's podcast and let me know if you found it helpful.  As always, if you need more support in any part of your parenting The Evolve School would love to help you care for your kid. Join the waitlist here, www.sarahsproule.com/evolve  and I'll be in touch before the next enrollment.  x Sarah

Firstly, what a win that your kid could come to you and share this discovery with you! How many of us hid our identities because we didn't feel safe enough to express what they might be or were?  I'm bisexual and I came to this identity late.  When I read this question I was delighted for this kid.  He's 12 and has realised this about himself and it made me realise, in retrospect, how much I would have loved to have had this conversation about my bisexuality sooner.  The thing to consider here is that your kid is learning about themselves.  And in learning who we are, what we do and don't like, we have to have experiences. Being able to encourage our kid through their experiences is major.  It will be something they remember for life.  Because, you know, they may get to a point where this identity no longer fits.  And how you supported them through this experience will make all the difference.  So join me for this week's episode where I help you to support your kid when they discover something new about themselves.  As always, if it feels right for you, I'd love to welcome you into The Evolve School.  It's currently closed but if you head over to www.sarahsproule.com/evolve  you can join our waitlist and I'll reach out nearer the next enrollment date.  Please share this podcast with anyone you know who is building an evolved, communicating family and let's have more conversations that support us in caring for our kids.  x Sarah

Firstly, what a win that your kid could come to you and share this discovery with you! How many of us hid our identities because we didn't feel safe enough to express what they might be or were?  I'm bisexual and I came to this identity late.  When I read this question I was delighted for this kid.  He's 12 and has realised this about himself and it made me realise, in retrospect, how much I would have loved to have had this conversation about my bisexuality sooner.  The thing to consider here is that your kid is learning about themselves.  And in learning who we are, what we do and don't like, we have to have experiences. Being able to encourage our kid through their experiences is major.  It will be something they remember for life.  Because, you know, they may get to a point where this identity no longer fits.  And how you supported them through this experience will make all the difference.  So join me for this week's episode where I help you to support your kid when they discover something new about themselves.  As always, if it feels right for you, I'd love to welcome you into The Evolve School.  It's currently closed but if you head over to www.sarahsproule.com/evolve  you can join our waitlist and I'll reach out nearer the next enrollment date.  Please share this podcast with anyone you know who is building an evolved, communicating family and let's have more conversations that support us in caring for our kids.  x Sarah

Behaviour is logical. It doesn't come out of nowhere.  Our kid's words, actions, body language, and tone of voice are communicating something to us.   What is she thinking and feeling yet not unable to say?  We need to find a way to allow her to SAY it.  To connect with our kid we need to meet her where she's at. This isn't the time to justify or explain why logically what we've been doing is ‘right'. So how do we connect with our kid so that whenever we talk to her about sex it doesn't bring about disgust and anger?  That's what we're diving into in this week's episode.  Are you willing to say 2 words, 7 letters?  Are you willing to take full responsibility for your actions, no matter your intention?  Are you willing to prioritise the connection with your kid over anything else?  Join me for this episode and learn how to turn this scenario around.  Now, I know this can be quite a challenging journey for most of us, so if you'd like to learn more strategies that can help you connect with your kid(s) alongside the skills required to implement them then join the waitlist for the Evolve School.  We're currently closed (we only open twice a year), but as soon as we reopen for enrollment I'll be sure to let you know.  If it's a good time for you then you can join us.  www.sarahsproule.com/evolve.  Remember these strategies can be used time and time again, so be prepared to take notes.  I look forward to hearing your thoughts and stories in my comments and DMs.  x Sarah