Style and Soul Reformed Bite-sized Podcast

What does your emotional home look like?  What are the thoughts you think regularly and the emotions that you create as a result?  Is it clean and pristine?  Is it messy and chaotic?  In this episode I am talking a bit about my journey.  My story, what has been in and on my heart. You can hear in the episode, my struggle in real time as well as my outlook on how to move forward in the best way that I know how.   It's pretty raw and vulnerable which is all a part of my healing journey. My hope is that anyone listening can connect to thier own truth from my story.  

In the past I could've called myself the queen of beating myself up.  Negativity and self doubt were definitely a big issue for me.  I'm in the process, obviously not perfect, but I am catching myself as my thoughts pass through and I'm correcting them. Treating those thoughts lightly and gently pushing them past and replacing those thoughts w/ a funny inside joke or simply telling myself 'Remember who the F you are'....haha. Do you experience fear and self doubt?  What do you do to combat it? Have a listen to my process of un-doing the past and redesigning my future.    

About 4 years ago I decided I wanted to be happy.  I decided to figure out the root of why I wasn't happy & I decided to start making some major changes in myself. Now that I have some perspective I can see that it stemmed from the fact that I didn't like myself, I didn't love myself and I didn't even know how to start this process.  In this episode I'm talking about the process that I went through and continue going through to free myself from myself in terms of self loathing, judgement, self doubt and liberate myself on a whole new level.  Life is a process and I'm not waiting to find happieness I'm learning to be the happiness.  

I'm not gonna lie, this past month has been one of the more challenging times in my life.  I've had to revisit a lot of my childhood trauma and it's been really really painful for me.  What I'm realizing is that you can heal from the pain by doing the work of having deep empathy for your past self and your current self, through journaling and through forgiveness.  It takes a lot of courage to do what you need to do to heal but with time and practice I'm seeing that it can be a very freeing experience.   Growth is painful but it is worth it. 

It was my birthday this week and I'm reflecting.  I'm thinking about my life and just life in general.  I truly believe that everything in your life stems from a place of how you see yourself.  I've been on an emersive journey of doing only the things that align with my mission of being the best version of myself.  I've opened up my perspective on myself, my beliefs, my intentions.  How do you view life and yourself?

I am completely obsessed with getting to the next best version of myself in all ways.  As a result, I like to reflect to asses how I've improved every now and again and I smile when I do.  Things that once put me over the edge no longer does, my relationship w/ myself is easier.  I look at myself in the mirror differently, less judgemental. It's all a process but I'm glad im on this journey.  What do you do to make improvements on yourself?  How do you look at yourself in the mirror?  

I'm getting into the idea of how much control you feel you have over your life.  I've gone through a good majority of my life feeling like didn't have the majority of control over my life.  That way brought me to a place of feeling lost, helpless and victimized.  I was really not happy and feeling pretty defeated.  Since learning how to command control of my focus, my thoughts and my emotions, I've become more empowered.  I'm shedding the 'victimized' part of my personality and emerging with so much faith, love and hope for my beautiful future.  It's a journey and a process and I'm just feeling grateful that I get to live from this different perspective moving forward in my life.  

My mission in life is to evolve into the best version of myself possible.  I'm talking about the process of how I'm inching my way into the unfolding of that woman.  Rehersal is a part of what I'm doing to walk into the energy of who and what she is.  The empathy, the creativity, the love, the abundance, the health and the energy that I want to be.  Life is not static.  We need to be intentional on what we want and move in that direction daily.   

I'm getting into all of the things I'm realizing do not serve me anymore.  I'm catching all of the repeated things I have on a loop in my train of thought, things that I find myself making excuses on repeatedly and just stop to think for a moment to see if these are things that are helping make my way toward my goals or hurting my process.  It's also a matter of stopping patterns to re create new more empowering patterns.  Things that allow me to move my life forwad to more joy, more peace, more abundance and being a bigger version of myself.   

I've been on a journey of doing a lot of undoing to get to the core of who I am and what I want for my life.  Part of that is defining new beliefs.  Beliefs in myself, my capabilities, what I can learn, what I can do and who I can become.  Do you put focused energy on bettering yourself?  It's become my mission in my life to be the best person I can be and I see improvements which spill over into all aspects of my life.  I'm so grateful.

I've met so many awesome entreprenurial women during my year of discovery (2022 is the year of new connections for me) and I was so excited to disucss all things with Jessica AKA Honest Cravings.  She's a mom, she's a marketing expert and she is an influencer....She's also in the midst of a move with 2 little kids and a husband.  The juggle is totally REAL and we are having real girl talk on how she handles it all.    

After studying and learning about the happiest and most successful people in the world, I've noticed there is a common thread between them all.  They practice gratitude.  Gratitude is something that I practice every single day. I ackowledge that I am blessed for so many small and big reasons and I literally stop to say 'Thank you' for them regularly. It helps me to create what I call little spontaneous bursts of happiness throughout my day.  It makes me a happier and better person and it enhances my life.  Learn to be happy through gratitude and it will change your life.   

This week I'm interviewing Emily Samuel of Emilyy_fitness on IG, and owner of Travel Well.  I've known Emily for several years now and I've seen her grow and evolve on her entreprenuerial journey.  We talk about her struggles, her lessons and her over all resilience as she continues to make her way to becoming her best and strongest self. She's such an inspiration.  Have a listen!

In moments of life....being triggered, feeling annoyed, being impatient, feeling disappointed I've realized that my default mode is to freeze. I know that about myself now and I've been observing it as it happens.  It's really become an amazing tool I can use to move through situations in a way that makes me feel in control.  Feeling like a victim of my circumstances is no longer an option for me in my life.  I feel empowered and it feels awesome. 

As I make my way through this journey called life, I realize that everything that I have been through and experienced has been FOR me and not happened TO me.  This is a big shift in thinking for me.  It's made me feel empowered to make the changes in my life that I have needed to make.  It's uncomfortable to take responsibility for the aftermath of what has happened in life, espeically when things are painful.  It is necessary to move on and this is the key to freedom.   

In this epsode I'm chatting with Lisa on the question that many moms ask after their kids start to grow up...'Now what?' After devoting many years to pregnancies, breast feeding and raising babies, what do we do after they start to grow up?  Lisa gets into her journey of making the decision to start her own business, the growing pains, learning new things in a new industry and how it has grown in just a few short years and opened new doors of opportunity within her small community.   

In my journey of growth...growing myself/growing my business I've leared that in order for me to have more, I have to become more.  Become bigger, stronger, emotionally, mentally, resilient, courageous and move through life despite my fears and insecurities.  It takes me a long time to learn, but when I do, I do not forget and it becomes a part of me.  I have known this and never truly given myself credit for this. I feel like we all have this super power.  It's just a matter of how many of us are willing to wade through the redundancy of making it part of who and what we are when building our charachters.    

I'm wading through a tough season and I'm not going to lie, it's not easy.  I have noticed that I'm less of a wreck than I would've been even a few years ago.  Doing the 'work'..meditation, daily exercise, healthy eating, catching the negative self talk, etc and etc has helped me level up.  Dealing with life, circumstances disappointments and tragedies will happen.  You need to be prepared to handle life as it happens and my practices have reinforced my belief that I can get through anything. I like myself, I love myself and I will get though and be stronger, wiser and better for all of it. 

Being small (personality, emotionally and professionally)is how I played most of my childhood into my teen years and also into my adult life.  It made it easier for me to feel invisible and play into that small space. I didn't have to try very hard or accept responsibility for myself or my outcomes as long as things looked OK on the surface. Not facing fears was my M.O. I think over the past 3 years I've started unpeeling those layers that have held me back.  It has allowed me to open and experience an authentic freedom from the mental and emotional 'prison' I had built up.  My evolution still unfolds on a daily basis but the fact that I've started this process makes me feel very grateful and proud.  

I'm reflecting a lot this wk.  On a lot of things...my progress as I'm on this mission to take total control of myself, the reactions to my feelings, my goals and making all of my dreams come alive.  It's an inside job.  It is a full time gig to catch myself, my limiting beliefs and my judgement of myself and course correct it.  I'm not going to quit doing it but it is not easy.  Just talking through some tacticle things that is helping me.  What do you do to take charge of yourself and your life?

As I continue to evolve and grow, I'm trying to figure out a lot about myself from what I listen to.  Staying neutral in both high and low situations is currently what I've been pondering.  How do you feel when you get upset...I mean physically.  Can you catch yourself before reacting?  How do you feel when you are ecstatic?  Can you control yourself then?  I'm talkign through the ideas on being neutral to be able to empower myself and control my life through controlign my thoughts and emotions.   

What I'm realizing more now than ever is that I and we are all interconnected from a spiritual standpoint.   We all have a heart, a soul and our own personal purpose in life.  We all want to be seen, heard, feel like we belong and that we are loved.  As I navigate my own journey of self discovery I'm just chatting about my own shifts in the puzzle of life to make things come together to make clearer sense to me.   

I think I went quite a while avoiding all of the things I wasn't comfortable with.  It was easier for me than facing the facts of all of the unknowns.  In this episode I'm talking about being ashamed of things, facing them head on and moving past them in productive ways.  What are the things you know you aviod in your life that you know you need to deal with?  

Taking responsibility for my own pain is something that has really enhanced my life in a way that I never knew possible. Feeling empowerd to own my own life, my own circumstances and my own reactions to things has allowed me to take ownership over myself.  It's allowed me to free myself of being the victim of my life and it's relieved me of a lot of pain I've held onto from the past.  It's been quite a process, I'm still processing it but what I do know is that until you are able to own your life you will never be totally free. 

The unfolding of my development over the past years has been quite the journey.  Certain days have been slow and felt painful and other days are liberating and freeing.  It is what we call doing 'the work'.  As much as certain times has brought me to my knees, I am grateful for all of the things I have learned about myself, the things I have let go of and the things I have been able to forgive. 

I have a lot of trauma from my past regarding money being tied to my self worth, my freedom and my value as a wife and mother. I have had to heal a great deal of all of these falsehoods and am still in the process of doing so.  I remind myself of who and what I am daily in my meditation and prayer.  I have come to the realization that money is only a piece of paper, it's an exchange of energy for a service or a product and it is not tied to someone's heart or soul.  It gets wrapped in a lot of emotional baggage but that is just us as humans putting labels and judgements on the exterior things in life.  Just talking through my process of understanding the difference between me and my bank account.

I absolutely love speaking with people that align with me on a spiritual/heart set level and Amanda is one of those special connections that I have made.  Amanda is an amazing model/actress in LA and she delves into her path navigating Hollywood and working on making her dreams into realities.  Her story involves incredible reslience, faith and good old fashioned hard work.  She's a strong, beautiful and inspirational force with so much more good ahead of her in her journey.

Throughout my journey of unpeeling the layers and knowing myself on a deeper level, I have come to learn that faith along with doing the work and having a knowing ness is the recipie for success.  I have heard stories that include the same principles over and over again.  I am in the process, I am working on myself and my company and I am working as if...as if I have already achieved my goals, working as if I already have the money, planning as if I have the headcount.  This is me betting on myself.  

This week's female business owner is Holistic KV.   She's an amazing Tik Tok'er that started her wellness and lifestyle account a few years ago and also a former NYC Fashion industry buyer.  We are talking about her journey in NYC over 10 years of the fashion hustle as well as her decision to jump off of that train and into the world of being her own business owner. 

My question is this...Do you let your emotions take control over you?  Do you identify AS your emotions?  There have been times in my life that I have literally felt posessed by my emotions...my anger, my resentment, my jealousy & my fears.   I have recently declared that I am working on never being 'shook' by the outside world again.  By things that happen in life...stresses, disappointments, losses, etc.  This is a lifetime of work ahead of me but I will get better and better with everything I overcome.   What do you do to strengthen yourself?

If anyone has ever tried to build something out of nothing, they know that it takes some trial and error.  In building her businesses over the past 17 years, Sidra Rubin takes us through her highs and her lows and how her ability to pivot and go with the flow is what has allowed her to come out on top.   

The idea of suffering was singular for me for many years.  I thought of it as the physical idea of suffering.  What I now realize is that we as human beings live a life of suffering.  We suffer emotionally ie: anxiety, worry, self hatred, stress, self doubt, etc.  It's endless really.  The only prision we have is the prison of living in our own heads, our own misery.  What I realize is that there is a way out.  It's a practice of not letting your feelings control you.  Empowering yourself to think and feel and be the way that you choose.  Take care of your body, exercise and eat well.  Take care of your mind...meditate, breathe slow down your racing thoughts and take care of your soul by reaching inward to tap into what brings you alive.    

Feed your faith and face your fears.  Do you know how real that feels to me right now?  Part of the evolution process is being more of who you are and in the direction of your goals.  Without faith you don't move without courage you won't grow.   Working on overcoming myself every single day. What do you do to improve yourself?

Building a business is definitely not for the faint of heart.  Jenelle Hamilton, owner and CEO of Jenelle Hamilton PR shares her story of resilience, grit and good old fashioned pure faith.  Starting her business from her laptop at home she nurtured and grew the business into a leading Bi-Coastal PR Agency with multiple employees and locations across the US.   

I got to thinking this morning about myself and how I let things into my mind....and then I go run with them.  I have done this for the better part of my life where I take something some one said or did or I took a rejection or a comment and I turned it into a whole story.  I let my mind run w/ the thought which turned into an emotion and then I let it stop.... Stop me from moving forward most of the time.   This episode is about starting the practice of building a mental armor.  Not letting things into my frame of thinking that does not serve me or move me towards my dreams and goals.   Do you let people affect how you feel and react to your life?

It has been quite a journey of discovery to go from self loathing to self loving.  The first step in the process is realizing that the feelings that I had about myself were very negative.  Once I realized this I was able to start taking steps to change it.  As you start the process to loving yourself I believe the tools and the insights come to you if you are looking for them.  Once you start the practices the momentum builds and the pieces of what you like about yourself start to build you up.  It's a beautiful process that doens't quite get to an end.  You just need to keep on going. 

Are you holding onto things that have hurt you in the past?  Do you know why you are doing this?  Does it feel familiar? Are you open and willing to free it so it can free up your mind, heart and soul for better things that can serve you?  Just a conversation about how I've been able to let that grip of resentment loosen up to allow me for a better, happier and more expansive life.  

Understanding how true confidence is built and what truly being confident means has proven to serve me well in becoming the best version of myself.  Wearing the mask of being cocky, impatient and mean has been my way of showing my fears & insecurities in the past.  I now know that confidence is all about what you think and feel about yourself from a cellular level.  

Thinking deeply about a profound quote that I heard this past week.  'An undisciplined mind is a dangerous mind'. When I think about this it really amazes me how soft I have been most of my life.   It's also very crazy and beautiful for me to see how much pushing myself has allowed me to grow emotionally, spiritually, metally and physically.  This is what our life, fulfillment and happiness are all about.   How far are you willing to push yourself to achieve great things?  

I've realized that there is a lot of 'undoing' I need to do within myself to have the life that I want to live.  Negative thinking, self doubts, fears, etc.  In realizing this, I see that the advice and converstaions that I have with my kids is the life advice I need to impliment myself.  I find myself parenting myself as I guide my kids on their own paths.  It's a really beautiful realization to see how far I've come and how much I can teach my kids from an early age.  Grateful!

By the adult phase, most of us have been beaten and bruised a bit in life.  It's the times in my life when I've fallen off of my path that made me realize I needed to go in another direction.  The universe has a way of guiding us and it's only our job to have faith that it's the right way to go. How many times have you tried to resist redirection?

Growing up as one of the only Asians in an all white world, I wanted to fade away and not stick out in the way I always felt I did.   Just reflecting on my journey of finding myself, growing up, healing and discovering what the truly pretty part of myself is.

On my journey of self awareness I reallized that I care about what other people think.  More than I was even fully aware of.  When I noticed this, it allowed me to free some of the weight I carried around with me regarding people's opinions and judgement of myself.  Life can be tough and our thoughts and opinions can be very crippling if we don't take charge of what we allow ourselves to think about.  Be good to yourself!

I remember when I graduated from college and wondering how I was supposed to 'learn' after my formal school training.  This was pre YouTube and the internet was not what it is today.  I realize now that I spent many years coasting and working my way up the corporate ladder but not exploring my mind, my heart and my soul. This left me feeling very empty and purposeless until I began doing the work on knowing myself, my heart, my desires and my passions again. 

In my 45 years of life I've seen some painful experiences, set backs and disappointments, for sure.  What I now realize as I'm able to reflect is that live serves us experiences, painful, joyful, exciting and so on.  What we do with these experiences is what shapes our future.  Are you going to take those lessons and use them or are you going to let them use you? I'm taking charge on my own terms.

It's taken me a lot of mental digging and healing to figure out that I'm not going to wait around for my whole life to figure out how to be happy!  Talking about my process, touching on my past and looking at my systems in place to live my happiest best life.

The discipline and reward of meditation has been a real emergence of a new way of life for me.  Starting my practice 3 years ago was not easy and it felt very difficult.  It was something that i wanted to learn and would force myself to do every single morning.   Fast forward to today, I still meditate but my brain, my body and my soul feel aligned when I sit to do my 15 min practice in the morning.  I literally trained myself (almost like an animal) to be deliberate about how I wanted to set my day up for success.   Who out there practices meditation?  I can honestly say it's changed my life.

I can honestly tell you that learning to like and to love myself has been a long and painful process.  Coming from a home where children were to be seen and not heard was one of the obstacles I needed to grow from as well as societal pressures of being a girl.  Taking you through my process of building up my self esteem, confidence and trust within myself which has brought me to a place of self respect and in turn, love.  

When we think of disease we typically think of diseases of our body but I want to talk about diseases of the personality.  There are 3 that I specifically acknowledge: Pessimism, Excuseitis and Procrastination.  I have struggled my way through living with them and then being aware of them. I can now recognize these 'diseases' as they crop up in my life to redirect myself to a more empowering thought/belief/action.  

I don't know about you, but I've always found the word GRIT annoying.  Over the past few years I've been tested and have a full and personal understanding of the word.  It has a whole new meaning for me in my life in terms of discomfort, fear and turning those negative emotions into resilience.  Just talking about my journey of getting tougher and less soft.

After reflecting this morning and thinking about my past, I realized something....I have spent a majority of my life not realizing that I can be deliberate about my day, which leads to weeks, months and ultimately my life.  Being intentional about how you want to move in the world is your responsibility.  It is our choice and is what creates a life.  Do you move through your life being deliberate about what you want to achieve?