The Change Paradox

Dearest friends of the Change Paradox, old and new, As you'll hear in today's Afterthoughts episode, this will be our last episode of the show, at least in its current format. I'm sad to share this news but also very proud of what we have done over the past year and at peace that it's the right thing for now. I have really loved this experience, most of all the wonderful guests I've had the pleasure of talking with and the enthusiastic feedback from so many of you. I suppose this long-deliberated decision came down to a few converging factors. For starters, it turns out podcasts are an incredible amount of work! And all that prep time puts an incredible number of other important things on the back burner, sometimes for too long. It's time to get back to those, including more rest than I have gotten in some time. Whew. Secondly, we succeeded in covering exactly what I'd hoped to: As expected, change indeed has remarkable paradoxical elements in many different fields, and the exploration of that is meaningful and helpful to many. I hope you'll watch for those elements as they turn up in your lives for years to come. I certainly will.  While we could interview hundreds more to make the point, I think we have made it well already. Most important, and most subtle, of all, I have this indescribable sense of feeling both “complete” here for now, and as though there is something really important waiting to fill the space. Perhaps a new adventure will bring me to new things I'd like to share with you. If so, we'll most certainly be back! And we'll be in touch, too, most likely by posting something new in this space. Please keep your subscription active in case we do. Unless and until that time comes, The Change Paradox will remain available but not be added to. So, to all of you who have supported us and the show, our heartfelt and sincerest gratitude. You, most of all, have made these hundreds of hours worth it. All episodes, including the Afterthoughts episodes, will be available publicly so that you can return to them as often and long as you wish. Please reach out if you have questions or concerns, or if you'd like to share some observations of your own about these two seasons. You'll find me at dodge@lotus-center.com. I'd love to hear from you. Before we go, let's all raise a glass to Pete and Andy, the show's very skilled producers and closest friends. I can't thank you both enough for so generously lending your experience to this novice's dream of exploring something so esoteric. You couldn't be more wonderful to work with, and I enthusiastically point our fans here to your many other informative and entertaining shows at TruStory FM. Mahalo. More love, not less, everybody.  

Dodge presents a set of readings from Dr. Greyson's book, "After".

Hey all... This week we try to unpack near-death experiences in the wake of Dodge's conversation with Dr. Bruce Greyson. It leads to jealousy and a review of ‘Defending Your Life' staring Albert Brooks, in addition to some key lessons on adapting to change in our own lives without having to pass through near-death ourselves. Thanks for doing the work, as always, Pete

Hey everybody... it's Pete. I have a distant aunt who used to tell me of all the times she almost died. A sample: she was once bit by a black widow spider. The spider was indeed black but examining it on the heel of her shoe there was no way to determine if it had been married. She swore it nearly did her in. Nearly attacked by a bear while camping. Though the bear was never actually seen, there was some evidence that her cooler had been pilfered. Almost fell into an icy river while rafting and could have drowned, she'd tell us. I think there was an asteroid in the mix at one point. She called these her near-death experiences, and given the frequency of them over her life you'd think some element of the cosmos might have been trying to collect a debt. But no, in fact she passed peacefully in her sleep, surviving the onslaught of perils through which she lived. In fact, none of these were near-death experiences, no matter how close she might have come to dying. I know this now because our guest today is one of the world's leading experts on the science and significance of the Near-Death Experience. Bruce Greyson, M.D., is Professor Emeritus of Psychiatry and Neurobehavioral Sciences at the University of Virginia and joins us to share his work studying these things and the people who have experienced them over nearly five decades. What sets Dr. Greyson's work apart from the rigorous empirical research of my long lost aunt is that his subjects actually died. In some way, shape, or form, they stopped functioning physiologically, had an experience, and came back later. The stories you'll hear in today's show serve as a tour through the incredible similarities in those experiences and the work of Dr. Greyson and his team to understand them. If you'd like to learn more, we encourage you to pick up his book, After: A Doctor Explores What Near-Death Experiences Reveal About Life and Beyond. Links & Notes Bruce Greyson, M.D. After: A Doctor Explores What Near-Death Experiences Reveal about Life and Beyond by Bruce Greyson UVA Division of Professional Studies on Facebook

A journey through the Tao Te Ching with William Martin.

Hey everybody... This week, Dodge and I are unpacking his conversation with William Martin. We try to have a simple conversation on a simple concept and fail terribly. But that's the path of the Tao, right? Thanks to William's guidance, we know not to beat ourselves up about such things, but move through it. We appreciate you moving through the conversation with us. Thanks for showing up. — Pete

Hey everybody... it's Pete. At one point in our conversation today, Dodge will say that he's going to try to explain to you all what the Tao is. Our guest, who has been studying and thinking about the Tao for more than three decades says in response, "Good luck with that." That pretty much says it all for me, too. I've read a bit, thought some, studied my fair share. But the Tao is one of those pesky constructs, an intellectual raccoon trap, and just when I think I have a handle on what it means for me, I get my metaphorical fist stuck in the bottle and can't break free. That's why we're glad to have William Martin on the show with us today. He's written many Tao-inspired books, including The Parent's Tao Te Ching, and his latest, The Activist's Tao Te Ching. A graduate of the University of California, Berkeley, and Western Theological Seminary, he has worked as a research scientist for the Department of the Navy, a clergyman, and a college instructor in counseling, communications, and the humanities—and for many years, conducted workshops and seminars on the application of Taoist and Zen thought to the issues of everyday life. All that is to say, we're in good hands with Bill today. He's not a high mystic — an oracle on the hill — he's a guy who has worked hard to understand this thing in a way that can make it approachable to the rest of us. We deeply enjoyed talking with him and hope you do, too. Links & Notes Freedom, Simplicity, and Joy — William Martin's Home on the Web Buy the Books • William Martin's Amazon Author Page

Jerry Campbell offers a meditation designed to help you find a new connection to your body.

Hey everybody... This week, Dodge and I are unpacking his conversation with Jerry Campbell. There will be wordplay, for sure, but also a review of the story of the lonely amygdala and its journey to find purpose through extreme sports. There's a reason Jerry has developed a reputation for being a therapist's therapist. We appreciate you joining us for a conversation on what that means this week. Thanks for doing the work... — Pete

Hey everybody... it's Pete. Jerry Campbell is a Licensed Clinical Social Worker. He's been doing the work since 1975. In those early years, he worked in an agency, supervising therapists serving as head of therapy, a road that eventually lead to private practice in 1988. Judging by his reviews online, it's no question how Jerry has developed a reputation as a therapist's therapist. He joins Dodge today to talk about his approach. As he says it, it's "an integration of mind, body, and spirit modalities within a family systems framework. I like to say I work with people navigating their own hero's journey, get more of what they want, and have a transformational experience." Around these parts, anyone who trucks out Joseph Campbell is aces from the jump. They take on learning and fear this week, with a provocative dance with our friend the amygdala. Key in on the three F's — Find, Focus, and Follow. It might just turn out that this trio is a powerful set of F-words you can really set your mind by. Thanks for doing the work, Pete

Ted Klontz offers an experiential exercise on financial peace.

Hey everybody, it's Pete... Dodge and I do our best to unpack a triggering conversation for the both of us. Money's tough. Too few of us are doing the things to maintain a healthy relationship with it. We're trying to figure out why. We hope this conversation helps someone out there to move their own ball down the field just a bit. Thanks for all you do, Pete

Hey everybody... it's Pete. Raise your hand if you've never had any challenges with money. Look around. See that? You're all alone. OK, all gimmicks aside, it's money week and that's scary. Jobs won and lost. Health care, insurance, education. Bills coming due. Major, unexpected expenses. It's no understatement to say that how we relate to money defines how we relate to the world around us. Ted Klontz is back on the show with us this week. Last time he came around he was talking about readiness for change. What we didn't cover in that conversation is a non-trivial part of his career: financial behavior. And he doesn't do it alone. Brad Klontz, Ted's son, is a founder of the Financial Psychology Institute and an associate professor in Financial Psychology at Creighton University. He's spent much of his professional career helping people with money and wealth issues and together with his father has written books such as Wired for Wealth, and Mind over Money. Their latest, Money Mammoth, dives deep into the psychological barriers that stand between us and our financial success. Talking about money out loud is terrifying for a lot of us. Together, Brad and Ted help us to approach this subject with a little less trepidation thanks to the knowledge that we're not doing it alone — many of us feel this way, and many of us are looking for change. We hope you find a dose of that change today in their conversation with Dodge Rea. Links & Notes Money Mammoth: Harness The Power of Financial Psychology to Evolve Your Money Mindset, Avoid Extinction, and Crush Your Financial Goals Wired for Wealth: Change the Money Mindsets that Keep You Trapped and Unleash your Wealth Potential Mind over Money: Overcoming the Money Disorders That Threaten our Financial Health Financial Psychology Institute

Hey everybody... This week Dodge and I do our best to unpack this conversation with Lynne. We come at this discussion from very different perspectives so much of this week is devoted not so much to Lynne and her work, but to how we approach those things that run counter to our worldview. I'll be honest, I was a wreck going into this one, but I'm happy with how it turned out. It's challenging, personally, but deeply satisfying as we remember that it's about the journey, not the finish. Thanks for showing up.

Hey everybody... it's Pete. It's April. I hope, after everything we've been through, that you're someplace you can walk outside, fill your lungs with clean air, and breathe deep. If we ever needed a spring full of new life, it is right now. So let us take advantage of it by reveling in it and letting ourselves grow through that nourishment. Journalist and author Lynne McTaggart joins Dodge today to talk about her work. She's written seven best-selling books, and the scope of that work makes it practically interview malpractice to attempt to cover it all in one conversation. They start by approaching her work chronicling the work of scientists and researchers in the field of consciousness and her own observations of the power of intention. Speaking personally here, there's a lot I don't understand in this space and, frankly, hearing much of it causes my walls to come right up. But as I've learned from Dodge time and again, just because I don't understand a thing, just because it doesn't fit into the worldview of my collected experience, doesn't mean I should stop asking questions. There are so, so many questions to be asked. Ultimately, this is a conversation anchored in hope. And here at The Change Paradox, we want to provide a platform for more hopeful conversations. We can't think of a better way to continue a hopeful investigation than with this one with Lynne McTaggart and Dodge Rea. Links & Notes Download The Power of Eight Handbook: A Step-By-Step Guide to Creating Your Own Power of Eight Circle by Lynne McTaggart Lynne McTaggart Find Lynne's Books • Amazon Author Page

Victoria brings an exercise to help us all breathe into abundance.

Victoria Castle with an exercise to help us all break the trance.

Hi everybody, We dish on the Trance of Scarcity and Victoria Castle's perspective on generosity. Thanks to you all for showing up and doing the work right along with us. — Pete

Hey everybody... it's Pete... I just finished editing this week's conversation and I have to tell you it hit me where it hurts... you know, that place in the solar plexus that goes hollow when someone outs you effectively as having been lying to yourself? Yeah. That place. This week, Dodge and Victoria Castle are continuing their conversation on her book, The Trance of Scarcity, with a special focus on the Cycle of Abundance, building a routine of breaking out of the trance and focusing instead on myriad possibility around us. I tend to be wired a bit more conservatively when it comes to these kinds of conversations so it's easy for me to take the critic's perspective and start poking around at them. What this show has demonstrated time and again is that this poking behavior is usually rooted in fear and — to take Victoria's word — arrogance. But that veil of fear and arrogance breaks down when confronted with a few things they discuss this week. You should be on the lookout if you're wired like me: generosity costs you nothing. You don't have to tithe to be generous. Sometimes, an act of generosity is a simple wish of goodwill toward others offered when they least expect it, and that might be enough to spark a practice of grace in yourself. Once more, you can find her book where books are sold, link to the Amazon page in the notes. But please, support your local booksellers if you're able. And, if you haven't done it yet, there are things in the works around the Trance and, while they're not quite ready yet, if you'd like to hear more about what's coming up from Victoria and Dodge in whatever form it may take, please visit trustory.fm/trance and leave your name. I promise, we won't sell your information, but we will let you know as soon as we have something new out there in the world you might be interested in. Thanks for coming back for part two. Our usual Afterthoughts episode is coming next week. We hope you enjoy this continued conversation with Victoria Castle and Dodge Rea. Links & Notes The Trance of Scarcity by Victoria Castle Sign up for Trance news Support The Change Paradox by becoming a member today

Hey everybody... it's Pete... As I write this, Victoria Castle and I just jumped off of a quick FaceTime call to talk about a new project. I say that with the full intention of practicing what it will sound like when I drop her name in conversation with friends in the future. Did it sound OK? Just ... you know, casually telling you that Victoria Castle and I FaceTime? Dodge introduced me to her book, The Trance of Scarcity, a few years after she'd written it. Must have been 2010 or thereabouts. It's not an undersell when I tell you it transformed the way I think about myself. It's a book that drills deeply into the heart of our inner imposter and churns there. It skewers your limiting beliefs and negative self identity in a way that's both real and gentle at the same time. That she agreed to be on this show, to me as a fan, seems like she's the victim of a prank, some ruse, a hornswoggle. What's more, she stuck around to talk to us for an entire two episodes. The first is dedicated to The Trance of Scarcity, that numbed state we find ourselves in when we're convinced that lack, struggle, and separation represents our ultimate fate. Part two, coming next week, is dedicated to the Cycle of Abundance; a salve to scarcity that reminds us what can be when we adjust our mindset accordingly. You can find her book where books are sold, link to the Amazon page in the notes. But please, support your local booksellers if you're able. While we're at it, we've got in the works around the Trance and, while they're not quite ready yet, if you'd like to hear more about what's coming up from Victoria and Dodge in whatever form it may take, please visit trustory.fm/trance and leave your name. I promise, we won't sell your information, but we will let you know as soon as we have something new out there in the world you might be interested in. Thanks for sticking with us. This show is a continued honor to produce and deliver to you. We hope you enjoy this conversation with Victoria Castle and Dodge Rea. Links & Notes The Trance of Scarcity by Victoria Castle Sign up for Trance news Support The Change Paradox by becoming a member today

A grounding exercise with Dodge based on W. Lance Bennett.

Hi everybody, This week we're talking about Lance Bennett, Professor Emeritus and the founding director for the Center for Communication and Civic Engagement at University of Washington. His speciality, political science and civic engagement. He joined us last week to talk about politics, partisanship, and the climate crisis, and today we're going to try and pull that conversation apart. Thanks to you all for showing up and bringing your best selves to an often difficult conversation. — Pete

Hey everybody... it's Pete... Welcome to Season 2. We're still here, me and Dodge, talking about change and the paradox therein. We learned a lot last season and in spite of coming face to face with our own in adequacies as we work to impact change in our lives — I'll go ahead and speak for myself there — we're pretty darned tickled to be back with another slate of guests to keep us pushing forward and learning this season. We start with Lance Bennett. Lance is Professor Emeritus and the founding director for the Center for Communication and Civic Engagement at University of Washington. His speciality, political science and civic engagement, which I hope you could guess, and he's been a valiant contributor to the body of knowledge in the field for decades. He's with us this week to talk about change as it manifests in our current political and media landscapes and along the way, we do our best to unravel some of the things we've done to ourselves as human organisms that get in the way of the change we'd like to see in the world. At least... the change some of us would like to see in the world. It's hard to see an all of us these days, isn't it? Lance's latest book hit the shelves just a few months ago and it's a primer for those of us concerned with the state of our environment and our apparent inability to act aggressively in response. His thesis: "How can we communicate and act more effectively to make the political and economic changes required to survive and even thrive within the life-support capacities of our planet?" The book is called Communicating the Future: Solutions for Environment, Economy and Democracy and it's available now. Thanks for sticking with us. This show is an incredible joy to produce and we're honored to have you. We hope you enjoy this conversation with W. Lance Bennett and Dodge Rea. Links & Notes About W. Lance Bennett Get the book: Communicating the Future: Solutions for Environment, Economy and Democracy by W. Lance Bennett Support The Change Paradox by becoming a member today

Hey everybody... Well, we made it. We hit eighteen. That wraps our first season. And with it, after all the interviews and all the Afterthoughts, we decided it might do us some good to reflect on the season as a whole. To Ben, Ted, Dave, Carleen, Nikki, Sam, Suman, and Linda, your generosity and expertise are boundless. Thank you for sharing your wisdom with us and brightening the world with your courageous teaching. To those who are hearing us for the first time, this whole Afterthoughts thing happens in between every one of our interviews, a chance for Dodge and I to reflect together on how each guest has changed us in some way. If you find it provocative in any way, we invite you to become members of our community. You'll get your own podcast feed where you'll automatically receive both the public interviews and the Afterthoughts episodes alike. To those who have supported us from the beginning this season, we thank you more than you can know. Your support has made it possible for us to invest our time and attention on the show and that has been a powerfully rewarding endeavor. We hope you'll stick around for season two. Speaking of season two, we're going to be recording over the month of February and plan to begin releasing our new episodes in March. Thank you for your patience and grace. Talk to you in a handful of weeks... — Pete

Linda Odom leads us through an exercise targeted at helping us all learn the sacred language of our dreams.

Hi everybody, We go through Linda's exercise and — even as superficially doing it on a podcast — we learn some crazy things about ourselves. Especially yours truly. The dream, now titled “The Little Piano Boy”, is far more than the comedy I'd first thought. It's bananas. Thanks to you all for showing up and doing the work right along with us. — Pete

Hey everybody, Happy New Year. As this episode drops for members, it is New Years Day, and we made it. We made it to 2021. We closed the door on 2020 and are on to something new. But are we, really? What is 2021 more than an arbitrary flip of a calendar page? It is powerful to so many of us because we invest that power in the New Year. I'm not great at resolutions. I don't usually set them myself, but I know more than a few people who live by their resolutions, who are able to make change in their lives in no small part because they believe in the power of change that comes in our collective embrace of transformation at the New Year. Why do I say all that. Because our guest this week is a practitioner in the language of dreams. Now, I know as a reasonably experienced student of self that dreams are powerful. But, like the New Year, our dreams are only as powerful as the investment we make in learning about them... understanding them. Linda Odom is a gatekeeper of sorts. She's a clinical psychologist in Nashville and while much of her work is around healing and recovery, she has a special knack for dreamwork. She teaches classes and workshops in which she teaches people how to access their own inner guidance through the language of dreams. Here's an interesting lesson learned for me, in fact. I tend to be somewhat cavalier about my dreams. I'll talk about them casually as a good source for table humor at dinner, that sort of thing. After just a few minutes with Linda, working through her simple exercise at the end of this episode, she had me. I was a mess. In fact, I think I've turned to realize just how disrespectful I've been in treating my own dreams as superficial comedy when they're working so hard to be my teachers. Our great thanks to Linda for her time to sit down with Dodge and educate us all. And thanks to you, as always, for your commitment to the work. — Pete

A vipassana exploration of silence.

Hi everybody, This week we're talking about Suman Chaudhuri. First, we acknowledge just how charming and handsome he is. Then, at some point, we realize that it's not just skin deep. This is a conversation about how we exist in space and time, how our limbic system gets in the way of our curiosity, and how we can all learn from guides that come from surprising places. Thanks to you all for showing up, and for taking those first steps — actively — to do nothing. — Pete

Hey everybody.... I can't believe I have an opportunity to talk about Seinfeld twice this season. First, “world's collide.” And now, “a show about nothing.” You remember the thing, right? George and Jerry are talking about salsa and seltzer and decide that the TV show they're about to pitch is actually void of any sort of story, but is instead a show about nothing. It's an homage to the “who's on first” classics of vaudeville. “So it's a show about nothing? I think you may have something here.” I'm not going to try to explain vipassana here because our guest does that for us far better. What you need to know is that we spend the next hour and a half or so embracing a meditation practice which calls for nothing as an action. It is a practice which, when illuminated by an expert teacher, is at once a mountain to climb, an ocean to swim, and a soft pillow to rest our heads. Suman Chaudhuri is our healer, educator, and guide today. He is the owner of Karuna Center for Natural Healthcare in Nashville. He was formally trained as a chiropractor and naturopath, and has done extensive training in energy medicine including Reiki and hands-on healing. To us, today, he is a meditation teacher, having spent decades immersed in the study and practice of meditation for healing and spiritual cultivation. Frankly, he's also incredibly chill. As with all these interviews, we performed this one over zoom and I'm not kidding, the moment he appeared on screen, we were moved to relax. He's a bit contagious that way. If the experience of vipassana is new to you, as it was to me, I encourage you to relax into it. This might not be the best episode to listen to while operating heavy machinery, for example, or performing any kind of surgery. Instead, consider sitting in a comfy chair with a cup of tea. If you have a child, instruct them to fan you gently with a giant ornamental rhubarb leaf. Close your eyes, especially for the meditation exercise to come toward the end of the show today, and join us for the most engaged experience of nothing you've ever had. Our deep thanks to Suman for his time to sit down with Dodge and teach us today. And thanks to you, as always, for your commitment to the work. — Pete

Hey everyone… When we started The Change Paradox, we had all sorts of aspirations. We converted most of my house into a sticky note bunker full of ideas! And while we haven't made it to, “Invent practical flying car and do interview with James Taylor while flying it,” we are able to check off a box today. What we didn't want to do was just talk to change “experts.” We wanted to bring a broader view to the discussion of change. This week we offer someone whose very life, rather than their profession, exemplifies extraordinary change. Credo Sinyangwe is the father of previous guest Sam Sinyangwe and our first guest in this respect. This unedited interview traces a full-circle life of synchronicity, generosity, and legacy, arching from a childhood in impoverished Tanzania to an adulthood and perspective half a world away. This is a pretty special conversation for us. Yeah, it's long, but don't let that stop you from listening to this gentleman share his life, recorded, for the first time. Thanks for showing up… — Pete

Inspired by Sam Sinyangwe, Dodge leads us on a journey of observation and introspection.

Hi everybody, This week we're talking about Sam Sinyangwe and his gentle approach to advocacy by collecting and presenting data on police killings in the United States. This data is important, and we — like so many — struggle with the emotions the bubble up behind our efforts to stay rational, and so deeply appreciative of all the wonderful people who dedicate their lives and careers to public service through policing. Thanks to you all for showing up and sharing a bit of your struggle with this stuff, too. We're all in this together. — Pete

Hey everybody, First things first, do a quick check-in with yourselves. I've been watching the news, doing my best to stay informed from trusted sources, keeping safe distance from social media. The pandemic isn't getting better, and you might not be able to smell it yet, but there's hope in the air. It'll be a spell before we get any relief from this thing and we're going to have to endure much on this road, care for ourselves and one another with grace and compassion. And after that, we get the hugs back. So, hold steady. Be a light in the darkness. Acknowledge the hard, and do your best to be the easy for others. We have a light on the show today. And he happens to be a trusted source, too. His area of expertise is the other pandemic, the one that comes in and out of focus in striking competition with the disease state we're living through. For our guest, it started with a big question: how many people have been killed by police? If you visit the ultimate fruit of his labor, MappingPoliceViolence.org, you'll find that in 2020, our police have killed 986 people in our country. It's shocking, then, to hear that prior to Mapping Police Violence and the team's efforts to collect this data, there was no effort on behalf of our national leaders to collect or report it themselves. The man behind the project is Sam Sinyangwe. He's a data scientist and policy analyst and in addition to Mapping Police Violence, he also founded Campaign Zero and the Police Scorecard. He's a PolicyLink vet where, according to his official bio, “he worked to connect 61 federally-funded communities to research-based strategies to build cradle-to-career systems of support for low-income families. He has also helped city leaders, youth activists and community organizations develop citywide agendas to achieve quality education, health, and justice for young black men. Why his pivot to policing, and presenting municipalities with data that serves to change behavior? “If we can't live, we can't learn,” he says. Our deep thanks to Sam for his time to sit down with Dodge and present the data. And thanks to you, as always, for your commitment to the work. — Pete

An exercise that proposes: if it's not your gift, it's not your job.

Hi everybody, This week we're talking a bit about Thanksgiving — for those who celebrate it — and that serves as an ironic distraction giving our primary subject matter this week. We get to the ADHD stuff, however, so stick around! We talk about the paradoxical nature of changing yourself around that which we cannot change, some controversial voices in the field of ADHD, working with a coach versus a therapist, and the gift of recognizing your gifts. Cheers to all of you. We couldn't do this show without you. Well... we could, but it would be horrendously boring. You make it better, brighter, and more fulfilling than we could have imagined. We're so grateful for each and every one of you. Thank you. — Pete

Hey everybody... Do you remember that old Seinfeld episode? World's Collide? George is dating Susan, and Elaine needs a new friend, so Jerry recommends that Elaine call Susan, and thus, according to Kramer and George, worlds collide. That's pretty much today on the show—first, a little background. In addition to The Change Paradox, which I adore, I've served as co-host of Taking Control: The ADHD Podcast with Nikki Kinzer for about ten years. Nikki's an ADHD coach and we've been through a bunch together over the years. Oh... and I have ADHD. ADHD is a funny thing. For those of us who've lived with a diagnosis for a while, especially if diagnosed as adults, it answers many questions about our lives. It certainly did for me. But ADHD is one of those conditions that is never really fixed. It's not cured. Your ability to navigate the world with ADHD successfully is determined by the degree to which you are able to change your behavior to accommodate it. That's hard to swallow. I connected Dodge and Nikki because the three of us, in some combination, have all had this conversation at one point or another. And now, I'm here, introducing two of my favorite people, talking about a subject that is incredibly important to me, and I'm not supposed to speak. Who makes these rules? Anyhow, you can probably guess that I'm a big fan of Nikki. I love working with her, and I love the work she does to support others just as much. You can find out more about her, her coaching for adults and college students, and her groups at takecontroladhd.com. As for the podcast, you can find all the links to subscribe right here if you're interested in checking that out. Thanks to Nikki for taking the time to sit down with Dodge. And thanks to you all for your commitment to the work. — Pete Links & Notes Thinking you'd like to learn more about ADHD? Nikki recommends reviewing the resources provided by CHADD (Children and Adults with Attention-Deficit/Hyperactivity Disorder). The association provides fantastic resources for learning more about ADHD.

A partner exercise in Gestalt exploration for breaking stuck patterns and engaging change.

Hi everybody, This week we're talking a bit about COVID (and healing from it), panic attacks and our evolving self-talk. All of that comes form our conversation with Carleen, and her grace in thinking so deeply about what she shared with us in her conversation last week. This episode hits square in the bull's eye of the paradoxical nature of change. This week we try to lean in. Cheers to all of you, — Pete

Hey everybody, You doing OK? I only ask because, you know, we're in the middle of quite a spell right about now and it's important that we take care of ourselves and each other and... you're all pretty great for showing up and we appreciate you, I guess. So, we hope you're all right today and that the weight of the universe is light upon your shoulders. I had a rough weekend, if you don't mind my saying. Have I told you about the COVID? Well, we had a visit back in July and the recovery process is long. So, this weekend I find myself staring square in the face of my old friend anxiety and his pal panic and ... well... things fall apart. We've all been there, right? As I clawed my way back to daylight, I found myself running through some new language, like, a script I'd heard but never read. They were words of navigation more than bland encouragement and the more I repeated them, the more control I found... Here's the big reveal: I didn't see it coming, but in my exhausted daze, I had somehow managed to internalize the words of this week's guest. Her name is Carleen Britton and she's a clinical social worker in Nashville. She's here to teach us about Gestalt Therapy. Get ready, because Carleen is a superb educator and gives us a clear description of Gestalt practice, how it differs from other interventions, and then caps it off with an exercise that starts as an angry conversation with what might as well have been the robot in my phone, and ends with a gift of self-talk the likes of which I've never quite experienced. Our great thanks to Carleen for her time to sit down with Dodge and educate us all. And thanks to you, as always, for your commitment to the work. — Pete Links & Notes The Gestalt Institute of Cleveland

Ted Klontz brings us an exercise to help us encounter a change you're struggling to create in your life, or a change that is pushing on you that you're finding yourself resisting.

Hi everybody, After talking with Ted for over an hour, Dodge called me and said, “we didn't talk about the three questions.” Turns out, that was kind of an important thing for Dodge so we spend a good part of this week's Afterthoughts talking about Motivational Interviewing and three questions that will help to define readiness for change. Also, we've renamed backsliding and relapse it “backwash” in this episode. We think you'll agree, it's a far better word for the concept. Cheers to all of you, — Pete

Hi all … it's Pete. When I was a kid, I played soccer. I was on the Colorado Springs Youth Soccer league called “Soccsy” at the time, and my team was exceptional. We dominated in every game and sported threatening black t-shirts, and the coaches were pathologically gruff parents, the whole trope-parade. That was the team. Because clearly there is no “I” in team, now I shall tell you about myself. I was in the goal keeping position and I was quite naturally terrible at it. I was in this position only because I was even more naturally terrible at every other position. The only reason we won so much is because we had a terrific defense and offense, capped by a striker by the name of Ron Cook who was so fast on his feet you'd think he was naturally imbued with wheels. If the ball ever made it passed our defensive line, the other team was guaranteed to score, with the exception of the single time I managed to stop the ball by meeting it with my face. Our guest today is Dr. Ted Klontz. Ted has been a mentor and friend to Dodge for 20 years. He's an associate professor of Practice and Financial Psychology at Creighton University, director of the Financial Psychology Institute® in addition to being a sought after international speaker, author, and researcher. Before that, though, he was a coach. That's how Dodge and Ted open their conversation today, with a discussion on Ted's approach to confrontation when it comes to coaching in sports. And that's where I want to ask you all to lean in. Right in the beginning. Because whether you're a coach yourself, or if you're a recovering victim of youth sports like me, Ted's experience is positively redemptive. The real nut of the conversation today is in Motivational Interviewing, a methodology Ted shares that can help probe the roadblocks to personal change rooted in the sort paralyzing ambivalence to change that many of us deal with at some point in our lives. We all… deal with this in our lives, right? That's not just a me thing? Bottom line, Ted's fantastic. You'll get it… listen for a few minutes and you'll discover he's the human manifestation of a warm hug. And we could all use a warm hug right about now, right? Thanks, as always, for your commitment to the work. — Pete Links & Notes Klontz Consulting Executive Circle — An exclusive financial psychology training and networking group for thought leaders and practitioners. P.S. If you're interested in more from us, please check out The Change Paradox member support program. By throwing us a few bucks a month you're helping to offset the costs of production and, more important, you'll get access to your very own personal podcast that includes all our public episodes and interviews with experts in the field of change, but ALSO our Afterthoughts show, in which Dodge and I reflect and integrate the lessons we've learned through the interview the week before. So, if you've ever thought, “Hey! Where can I hear more stories like that great soccerball-to-the-face story from Pete,” then you'll want to join us by becoming a supporting member.

Dave Richo leads us on an exercise of affirmations and aspirations he uses in his own daily practice.

Pete and Dodge try to wrap their heads around what they experienced with Dave including: going soft when facing Internet rage, there are no wars that end wars, and not enough comedy.

Hey everybody, Welcome to our second big interview episode! We made it over the hump of launch and it's time to take the training wheels off this thing to see if it rolls. We appreciate you sticking with us. There's a weight to the world. I complain about how hard it is to get out of bed in the morning. Or get out of the shower. Or walk the fifteen steps into my office. I gather that's not a new thing for many of you thanks in large part to the chaos swirling around us. Our guest today is a welcome knock to the head. His name is Dave Richo and he's a psychotherapist, educator, and writer in California. You can learn more about him on his website, davericho.com. He's written 23 books, the first published in 1991, many addressing “adulting” before it was a meme. His How to Be An Adult books anchor a catalog of incredible resources on love, relationships, and psychological and spiritual integration. But Dodge landed on Dave's 2019 book, Five True Things: A Little Guide to Embracing Life's Big Challenges. It's one of those books that contains wisdom by the barrel and we're deeply grateful that Dave agreed to join us on the show this week, letting us peel away at his five true things with direct guidance. This book is about life's big challenges and as such, it's not always rosy. But what happens when we take a glass of ice water to the face? We wake up. Thanks, as always, for your commitment to the work. — Pete Links & Notes DaveRicho.com How to be Adult in Love

Ben Rea leads us on an exercise designed to tap into — and free yourself — from discomfort and anxiety.

Hi everybody, We're back with our first “Afterthoughts” episode. This whole thing is such a glorious experiment that we hope you'll indulge us as we find our footing. If there is anything that we're targeting broadly in these conversations, it's to highlight where we're still stuck, where our guests have challenged our thinking and are pushing us through the boundaries of change we've put up around us. But, if I'm being honest, I'm one of those people who just can't face hard things without laughing just a bit along the way. Dodge is either just like me in that regard, or he has a hell of a mask and is willing to indulge my childishness. And so, we embark on this part of our journey, too, with our first member's only episode. Thanks again for your patronage and camaraderie along the way. — Pete

Hey members! First and foremost, THANK YOU. Your willingness to support this podcast early has been an incredible sign that maybe, just maybe, we're on the right track with the message of the show. We're working hard on our end to make sure we don't let you down. It's a big day. We're launching this new podcast. If you haven't ever launched a podcast, it takes a mix of audacity, old-fashioned spirit, and a tolerance for no small margin of public speaking terror to get the job done. But who are we kidding… of course you've launched a podcast. Everyone has a podcast now. My name is Pete Wright and I'm your chaperone. As such, I write little letters to you, like this one, as well as introduce episodes, giving you a sense of what you're going to experience on the show. As a subscriber, you'll hear my voice from time to time, and as a patron, a good bit more as I join Dodge in our private Afterthoughts series. But this is Dodge's show. That's Dr. Dodge Rea, Psy.D., Integrative Clinical Psychologist and co-founder of The Lotus Center, an integrative health center in Nashville. He's been one of my best friends for nearly three decades. I believe you'll soon come to see why he's so well loved by clients, colleagues, and old friends alike. In our grand episode one, we're going to introduce you to Ben Rea. Ben is a Licensed Clinical Social worker and co-founder of Healthy Minds, his practice in San Luis Obispo, California. He's a phenomenal psychotherapist in his own right but also Dodge's younger brother, which makes our first episode that much more special for all of us. Ben joins Dodge for a conversation on ACT, Acceptance and Commitment Therapy, plus a round of “where was that picture” and other lessons learned from their childhood home. A few notes on the episode. First, we recorded the thing without the intention of releasing it to the public. It was a test. But in the same way that you can't return all the feathers to a pillow in a windstorm, we just couldn't figure out a way to recreate what Dodge and Ben captured in their first conversation. Call it beginner's luck if you will, but something unexpected happened that demonstrated change far better than anyone could have explained it. I encouraged them both to take a risk and put listeners on notice: This will be be a remarkably brave and authentic podcast. Dodge is in this with you. Second, this episode is chock full of gems that have branded themselves on my psyche in the months since we recorded. On reflection, they all revolve around the fascinating idea that we continue to experience our lives through the entrenched stories we tell ourselves, and only in moving toward the pain we want to run from do we find the freedom to change it. This is something the brothers weave their way through in the course of their conversation and the lessons — at least for me — have been powerful. I hope they are equally so for you. Thanks for joining us on this journey. We're so deeply gratified you're here. — Pete Links & Notes Ben Rea, LCSW About ACT — Contextual Science

If there is a single element of human experience that is both most feared and most longed for, it is change. And on both sides, our relationship with it tends to be defined more by struggle than any other experience. Does it have to be this way? I'm Dr. Dodge Rea. I'm an Integrative Clinical Psychologist, a practitioner of Medical Qigong, and the co-founder of a prominent holistic health center in Nashville. All of this is to say, I've helped people work with change on physical, psychological, and spiritual levels for more than 25 years. Here's the thing, after you've been doing this a bit and watching closely, you start to realize something: deep change — every change that really matters — has surprising elements we're all inclined to overlook. Welcome to the Change Paradox. This is a podcast devoted to helping all of us unpack the mystery of how change really works. Whereas innumerable writers and speakers have taught us the values of superior goals and effort, that's not our focus here. We're more interested in why willpower alone so often falls short. What are we missing? Why is it that lasting change so often succeeds when it involves the realm of paradox — the “union of opposites”, as Carl Jung put it? And how can we use this wisdom to bring healthy change to our lives? In illuminating, often personal conversations, we're going to talk with Change Agents from a broad range of fields as well as laypeople who've experienced huge transformation in their own lives. Guests will also bring with them experiential exercises for you to engage with directly, and we'll have a playful “Afterthoughts” series for subscribers where my producer and lifelong friend, Pete Wright, and I unpack and integrate what we're learning as we go. We're convinced that if we can uncover some deeper principles to the transformation process, we can all get better at it as a planet. Join us! You can subscribe to the show in Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or anywhere else you get your podcasts. For more, visit https://trustory.fm/thechangeparadox. Thank you!