The Meat Cute

The cuties discuss the ins and outs of POWER YOGA and then Jos explains the premises of every TV sitcom she's never seen. Let's just say the 80's would have been better if Jos was a Hollywood exec back then.

The history of African American cinema can be summed up best by two pillars of cinematic excellence: Black Panther and Diary of a Mad Black Woman. Tony C joins the cuties to talk about these two movies and finally figure out who would win in a fight - T'challa, King of Wakanda - AKA Black Panther, or Mabel Simmons - AKA Madea.

Matt and Jos are joined by professional depressionista, Seawitchling, to talk about mental illness. Where does it come from? Do meds really work? Can it REALLY inspire you to write the next Great American Novel? BONUS info: which meds to take to make you feel like you're on MOLLY! :D

Matt and Jos are back! TECHNICAL difficulties (aka THE FCC) have kept them from you, but now they are back and ready to speak figurative truth to power! Find out how their banal lives have been faring and hear about Jos' new comedy show! Plus: a SNEAK PEEK into Matt Shipway's new comedy hour/minute! Enjoy!

Costume Designer Clair Foster joins the cuties this week to talk about all the sweat and tears that go into making people look in-character for stage and film production. It turns out making people look old-timey, chic, or incontinent is a lot of work and budgets aren't always Star Wars level. There's an art to everything - except hosting this podcast. Oh, and dragon dicks are discussed.

After a week off Matt and Jos get reacquainted over discussions about Jewish stuff, comedy shorts, daddy talk, and the first installment of HAUTE TAKES.

Ever been through a bad breakup? The Cuties want to hear all about it! Luckily, SeaWitchling and Trixie Shiksa (Natalie McBride) have a ton of awful stories to share. From breakup songs to most tragic heartbreak, we go over everything you need to fear when approaching the end of the road on your next relationship. 

Another installment of Tyler Perry's masturbatory filmmaking has come out, so you know that the council of nerds needs to convene! Tony C. returns to review the instant fan-favorite "Boo! 2: A Madea Halloween" as well as this month's Marvel movie Thor: Ragnarok. Matt declines to review one of them. (Boo) Two guesses about which one. 

Matt has disappeared, so it's up to Jos to play detective/host and figure out what happened to Matt/what makes a good episode on this weeks Meat Cute. Things don't go well?

Standup comedian Kimberly Rose Wendt joins the cuties this week to talk about standup, not having daddy issues, and having deep life realizations. Jos tries to figure out whether Matt and Kim are her mom/dad, ex-husband/new wife, or some approximation of the two. Matt chain smokes and keeps everyone on track. It's a REAL roller coaster this week, folks.Come to Gin & Comics every 2nd Monday at The Stud in San Francisco!

Welcome "2" the SECOND SEASON of The Meat Cute. Your "2" favorite buds are back "2" talk about what they got up "2" during the "season break" they just had. It may involve "having sex" and "co-starring in the new Reremy Jenner's new 'Bason Journe' film." Welcome back!

Matt had a show where he had to improvise a set and for some reason he came to Jos for help. Things don't go well

Matt and Jos have an opportunity to get a promo onto a very-popular-podcast-which-shall-not-be-named but need to have it by tomorrow. So that means instead of recording a podcast they take an hour to record a promo because they are VERY lazy. Welcome to brainstorming 101 with Professor Meat and Adjunct Professor Cute.

Cuties love company, so we're going to talk about the best company of all - pets! Also, this is a good excuse to have comedian, writer, and actor Ash Fisher on as a guest to talk about the high moments and low moments of having pets. Some of us will shower them with an unending supply of fancy pet food - others will systematically murder every raccoon in the world to protect them.  Check out Ash doing standup all over the bay area and of course hit up her monthly show Man Haters - a woman-centric, queer showcase.

Summer's still raging, so it's time for another MEAT CUTE DOUBLE FEATURE. Tony C. comes back to review both "Spider-Man: Homecoming" and the 2009 smash hit "Madea Goes to Jail."

As actors of note, Jos and Matt decide to take on some of the lowest-rated movies on Rotten Tomatoes and improve them with their Oscar-level acting. Just as a paintbrush is but horse hair on a stick in the hands of a novice painter , these lines were just too advanced for the uncured thesbians attempting to bring these underrated movies to bear. Behold! ACTING!

In order to further combat Jos' bad attitude towards siblinghood, the cuties have two sisters on the podcast to talk about how fucking obnoxious and awesome it is to not be an only child. Seawitchling and Jennifer Thoden talk impalement, throat slitting, sleeping through orgies, and familial fealty in this heart-warming episode. 

Jos is on a diet so the cuties invite Liesl Koehler back on the podcast to share their knowledge of the human body to help figure out how to lost that pesky spare tire. What results is decidedly less than helpful.  Things don't go well.

Jonathan "HOLLYWOOD" Gomez returns to talk about recording audio for TV and movies. Hear him drop names, tell secrets, and spill all the juicy HOLLYWOOD secrets. Is Billy Zane as zany as he thinks? Does Michael Bay have a Diet Cocaine addiction? How firm of a handshake does Turtle have? FIND OUT.

It's Father's Day, so the cuties have artist, burlesque dancer, and daddy-issue-haver Trixie Shiksa (Natalie McBride) on the pod to talk shitty dads, Jean Benet Ramsey, and deep fetishes of the daddy kind. The gang talks about what not having a dad can do to you and how good of a dad Matt actually ends up being. 

Learn everything there is to know about Live Action Role Playing - or LARPing! Our guest is the storyteller-king of Dystopia Rising: Washington, Skyler Woodies! Don't know what LARPing is? Neither does Matt! If you want to know what he sounds like when he is violently vomiting, check out this exciting episode. Things don't go well.

San Francisco playwrite and general dramatic person Kayl Frayr joins the cuties to talk about writing for the stage, dealing with actors, and improving your writing overall. Sci-fi, musicals, and dick jokes are also discussed. But what else is new?

It's time for another MEAT CUTE DOUBLE FEATURE. We're joined again by resident nerd Tony C. to talk "Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2." And, much to Matt's chagrin, the cuties also had to watch the next installment of Tyler Perry's rent check, "Madea's Witness Protection."

The Cuties are joined by 7-year veteran podcaster Rashanii (Single Simulcast) to discuss how white La Croix is, why the musical "Rent" is amazing, and what it was like to meet the cast of "Fresh Prince of Bel-Air." The gang also dusts off fan favorite games like "Meat, Date, or Skate?' and "Golden Empire State." You remember those, right?

Matt and Jos decide to take it easy this week and give you a peek behind the curtains of The Meat Cute. They discuss their future plans for the show and how they will ride their current wave of success all the way to the top. Have any ideas of how they can steal good ideas from other podcasts? Send them a message in the contact area of their website. The assistant will forward your communique over to them forthwith. 

Due to recent events, the co-hosts of the podcast have reached an impasse. The only way to bridge this is to seek professional help. Unfortunately, they're both broke, so they brought in amateur therapist Liesl Koehler (Welcome 2 Sunnydale) to act as a marriage counselor of sorts. Will the cuties get back together? Can the podcast survive the great rift of 2017?  Things don't go well.

We have to release SOMETHING so, we dug up something from the archives. 

Fuck Matt. I hope he fucking enjoys this shit. Big man won the argument. Our big guest got asked to leave and I fucking hope Matt's happy about it. Fuck that guy.

Matt and Jos are prepping for their move into the national stardom by practicing their interviewing chops. Making people like them and staying away from problematic topics are difficult, but that's what practice is for. Will they be ready for their interview with Terry Gross of Fresh Air? Will Ira Glass be requesting their company via email? Either way, the cuties are ready for anything - except honesty.  Things don't go well. 

Matt and Joshua are #millennials. Obviously. As cool people with their fingers on the pulse of #millennial trends they have compiled the ultimate list of best songs of the #millennial generation. They count down the chart to ##1, which will literally make your jaw drop. Things don't go well. #millennials

The cuties bring Shanta Fabulous (Single Simulcast, Bury Me In Red Lipstick) on to talk about the fine art of self-promotion. She discusses how she helped make Single Simulcast a podcast hit and how she's fooled companies into giving her money to shill their wares. Matt and Joshua take notes but probably don't learn anything.  Things don't go well.

MEAT CUTE DOUBLE-FEATURE! A new nerd movie came out, so the cuties have invited Tony Canales back to review the new X-Men movie, "LOGAN." More importantly, we watched "MADEA'S FAMILY REUNION." Are you ready for some top-notch cinema?

Things get sexy when the cuties dive into the dark world of the fetish world! Devan Miller returns to bring his unique perspective on vore, gore, and everything in between(?). Do you dare to hear what lies in the hearts of the internet's vaginas and dicks or are you some kinda vanilla? Things don't go well. 

This week's guest is New Zealand immigrant and American hopeful Dion Whitehead. Matt and Joshua teach Dion how to act so American that even if he fails his nationalization test, the officials will grant him citizenship on the spot. Learn all about New Zealand and finally unlock the question of why those funny-sounding motherfuckers are called kiwis. Oh, and we scope out the dating scene in NZ. Things don't go well. 

As if to prove that they're not scared of anything, Matt and Joshua invite Maya Samuels-Smith and Anthony Calles back to talk about something near and dear to Josh's heart: HORROR. Matt - who isn't scared of anything EVER - insists he doesn't like scary movies or anything in that genre so it's up to Joshua and the guests to discuss horror movies, scary podcasts, and what makes something truly bone-chilling. Matt admits he may be afraid of dinosaurs. Things don't go well. 

Matt's sick. The guest is a no-go. What's a dutiful host to do? Carry on for an hour and change about how unimportant everyone else is, of course. Joshua takes control of the show and creates what can only be the BEST FUCKING EPISODE OF ANY PODCAST EVER. Clips are played, listener questions are answered, and there's even a live phone call. WHAT MORE CAN YOU ASK FOR? Things don't go well. 

Where does comedy and activism converge? The cuties are joined by Roman Rimer (comedian and host of Weekly Review on Mutiny Radio) to jump head-first into the mess that is standup comedy, which isn't always kind to marginalized people. Everyone shares their standup horror stories and digs into the concept of "punching up" when it comes to comedy. Oh, and Joshua talks about pooping in public restrooms.  Things don't go well.

Faced with a possible deal for a web series for ABC, the Cuties have 24 hours to come up with a good concept for a show and turn in a treatment. What follows is a desperate attempt for two comedians to come up with an actual real idea for once in their goddamn lives. Things don't go well.

To commemorate our flagship episode, we've returned to the well that started it all: Taco Bell! This time we're joined by Welcome 2 Sunnydale's Liesl Koehler. However, we quickly learn that going back to the well isn't always a good idea. Mistakes are made.

Joshua attempts to understand the value of cheesy, campy, and otherwise FABulous pop culture icons and brings in Jason Marmor to explain the value of divas, drama, and dedication. Things don't go well.

The cuties take a look back at their old (failed) new year's resolutions and start developing new ones (to fail at) for 2017. Matt and Joshua also catch up on some backlogged advertisements - as per legal requirements. Things don't go well.

Whew! There goes 2016! We've been doing this for about a year so it's time to celebrate! It's an all-star cast this week as Jonathan "Hollywood" Gomez and Tony Canales host this retrospective episode. They invite Matt and Joshua to sunny Los Angeles, California to take a walk down memory lane. Michelle Burton is on hand to do live fact-checking as we go over the best AND WORST of our first year of podcasting. Thanks to everyone for listening and we're going to make 2017 the year of Meat Cute. Fuck off, THIS AMERICAN LIFE! Things go well!

A holiday Meat Cute Double-Feature! The cuties are joined by Tony Canales to put Christ back in holidays with Tyler Perry's A Madea Christmas. Since Joshua's never seen it, the double-down on the holiday theme and review the 1988 classic Die Hard!  Everyone has opinions about which movie is better. Where do you fall on the spectrum? The gang fights it out to see who is the winner. Things don't go well.

Matt has decided to go into business offering his services as a life coach. In order to sell this new venture to you shills out there, Matt needs to coach Joshua into a new life of confidence, success, and crippling chemical dependency. Things don't go well.

Matt and Joshua show off their dating skills so you'll participate in their new MASTER DATER contest! Just share or comment on this to enter for a chance to WIN A DATE WITH THE CUTIES! The chums walk you through some of their best dating memories and then give you a live demonstration of what a date with a cutie is like. Things don't go well.

WE PROVE THAT WRESTLING IS COOL. Ok, so maybe this week's cutie, Lilly Dagdigian, proves that wrestling is cool. How can toned dudes covered in sweat angrily slapping together while wearing potentially offensive costumes not be cool? Dunno, but Matt and Lilly school Joshua on how wrestling is more like improv and how similar it can be to comic books. Oh, and we find out what TNA stands for. Things don't go well.

Trigger Warning: The cuties dive into some of the shitty and terrible parts of the internet that gave us things like neckbeards, incels, the alt right, and Donald Trump. They're joined by expert shitlord Devan Miller (aka Dogpill Peenlord, aka American Apparel Sex Wario, aka Cyka Blyat) joins our heroes as they slush through the mire that is the dark parts of the internet and discuss why it's so bad, how it got that way, why it matters, and how to stop it.

It's another Meat Cute double feature! The cuties watched "BOO! A Madea Halloween" and "Doctor Strange" and we brought Tony C. along for the ride. Marvel as the gang discusses Tyler Perry's overt misogyny, Madea's trans status, and Doctor Strange's not-so-magical attempts at humor. Thrills! Chills! Spells! Things don't go well.

Matt and Joshua are feeling the post-election malaise and really just can't. We ditched our "regular" format to walk you through what we went through on election day, get angry about the shit pile we're living through, and talk about the future. Pretty much nothing is going well right now.

Having siblings sucks - or so Joshua thinks. Matt takes an hour convincing Joshua that having a sibling isn't all that bad. Just kidding. They both agree that siblings suck. But somewhere along the way they find out...maybe it doesn't?

Croix. The debate rages between the two cuties as the fate of the nation hangs in the balance. ....things don't go well.