The Scarlet Virgins Podcast

I brought my husband Thomas back on to roast some sacred cow steaks on the hot coals of our passion for truth. We discuss the double-headed red-herring of feminism and toxic masculinity (caught off the coast of Chernobyl, if reports are to be believed), the need for a revival of a Christian approach to marriage (alternative: a post-Chernobyl society), and why the courtship solution to the sexual revolution failed miserably (hint: it's about economics). Join us for a take-no-prisoners conversation where we earn our "Tell It Like It Is" merit badges. To the easily triggered: turn back now. Find Thomas at thechifiles.com and on Twitter @ThomasJLemke Get The Scarlet Virgins:  https://www.amazon.com/dp/B072M67WCL Check out the bonus content: http://scarletvirgins.com/  

In this episode, Rebecca and her husband Thomas Lemke discuss the Overton Window. What is it? How does it relate to the sexual revolution, purity culture, and counter purity culture? And why should we, as Christians, be aware of it?  You can find Thomas' work (mostly on the intersection of theology and biology) over at thechifiles.com!

Josh and I sat down to have a conversation about the documentary I Survived I Kissed Dating Goodbye and topics surrounding his journey reevaluating his book. Here are some of the things we discussed: The influence Adam and Eve after the Pill by Mary Eberstadt had on our journeys. The context of the world for sexual norms and Christian values, both when his book was written and now. I Survived I Kissed Dating Goodbye and Director Jessica, who was the driving force behind the project.  Societal relationships between men and women and how/why Josh views women the way he does now.  Suppression of reality and how that impacts sexuality and spirituality and the ability to deal with our own issues as a Church and community.  The realities of how tribalism and fame influence public figures. Our plans for the future with projects and business.  Links mentioned: Josh's website where you can see his statement about I Kissed Dating Goodbye: https://joshharris.com/ The free link to the documentary I Survived I Kissed Dating Goodbye: http://explorationfilms.com/survived/index2.php Josh's Instagram where you can keep up with some of what he is doing with his new business: https://www.instagram.com/harrisjosh/ His new business, Clear and Loud: https://joshharris.com/#clearandloud  

In this interview with J Parker from Hot, Holy & Humorous, Rebecca and J discuss Gnosticism, Christianity and sex, the concept of sexual incompatibility, how children impact marriage, Christian content creation, and much more.   J's wisdom is edifying in so many ways, I hope that you will find it as enriching as I did and do. - Rebecca   Articles/books mentioned:   http://hotholyhumorous.com/2014/05/3-things-you-can-learn-from-love-scenes/   http://hotholyhumorous.com/hot-holy-and-humorous/   http://hotholyhumorous.com/intimacy-revealed/   http://hotholyhumorous.com/behind-closed-doors/   http://forchristianwives.com/   You can find J at her website hotholyhumorous.com, @HotHolyHumorous, and https://www.facebook.com/hotholyandhumorous/ 

In this solo episode, recorded via phone, Rebecca discusses some of the issues that come about from social media fallout of sexual assault. They include: Projection Healthy Boundaries Bullying from other survivors What to do if you have been assaulted How the political aspects of the discussion mirror issues from purity culture After that, Rebecca gives a personal update and a sneak peak at her other projects. Sign up for her email list and see all the latest projects at rebeccalemke.com  If you sign up for Audible as a new member, you can get The Scarlet Virgins audiobook (with exclusive content) for free! If you are already an Audible member but have purchased the digital ebook of The Scarlet Virgins, you can get the audio version with Whispersync for a reduced price! Sign up here:  Audible link for the US: https://www.audible.com/pd/B07HXWXLF9/?source_code=AUDFPWS0223189MWT-BK-ACX0-129343&ref=acx_bty_BK_ACX0_129343_rh_us Audible link for the UK: https://www.audible.co.uk/pd/B07HXX41NR/?source_code=AUKFrDlWS02231890H6-BK-ACX0-129343&ref=acx_bty_BK_ACX0_129343_rh_uk Audible link for FR: https://www.audible.fr/pd/B07HY1MJ16/?source_code=FRAORWS022318903B-BK-ACX0-129343&ref=acx_bty_BK_ACX0_129343_rh_fr Audible link for DE: https://www.audible.de/pd/B07HXRQMX4/?source_code=EKAORWS0223189009-BK-ACX0-129343&ref=acx_bty_BK_ACX0_129343_rh_de 

In this episode, Rebecca discussing the second most important part of a woman's identity in purity culture: fertility. If you would like to find more of Rebecca's content like media appearances, more podcast episodes, and her book The Scarlet Virgins, you can go to www.scarletvirgins.com! If you would like to support Rebecca in her journey and help her fund more books and other content, please consider becoming a patron over at https://www.patreon.com/RebeccaLemke

In this episode, Rebecca discusses Christians searching for earthly authority figures. She talks about why we shouldn't try to replace God or add to his word and that we should have a discerning mind when it comes to the people we listen to.  If you would like to find more of Rebecca's content like media appearances, more podcast episodes, and her book The Scarlet Virgins, you can go to www.scarletvirgins.com! If you would like to support Rebecca in her journey and help her fund more books and other content, please consider becoming a patron over at https://www.patreon.com/RebeccaLemke

In this episode, Rebecca discusses the ways in which promiscuity and purity culture both lead us away from God, sometimes in very similar ways. If you would like to find more of Rebecca's content like media appearances, more podcast episodes, and her book The Scarlet Virgins, you can go to www.scarletvirgins.com! If you would like to support Rebecca in her journey and help her fund more books and other content, please consider becoming a patron over at https://www.patreon.com/RebeccaLemke

In this episode, Rebecca discusses how our pain and anger from our experiences can actually be a blessing. If you would like to find more of Rebecca's content like media appearances, more podcast episodes, and her book The Scarlet Virgins, you can go to www.scarletvirgins.com! If you would like to support Rebecca in her journey and help her fund more books and other content, please consider becoming a patron over at https://www.patreon.com/RebeccaLemke

In this episode Rebecca interviews Kenny Lyons, a young man who has experienced the ramifications of the courtship movement firsthand. If you would like to find more of Rebecca's content like media appearances, more podcast episodes, and her book The Scarlet Virgins, you can go to www.scarletvirgins.com!   If you would like to support Rebecca in her journey and help her fund more books and other content, please consider becoming a patron over at https://www.patreon.com/RebeccaLemke

In this episode, Rebecca considers a different angle on why legalism can be appealing.  If you would like to find more of Rebecca's content like media appearances, more podcast episodes, and her book The Scarlet Virgins, you can go to www.scarletvirgins.com! If you would like to support Rebecca in her journey and help her fund more books and other content, please consider becoming a patron over at https://www.patreon.com/RebeccaLemke

In this episode, Rebecca discusses purity and innocence after marriage and throughout life.  If you would like to find more of Rebecca's content like media appearances, more podcast episodes, and her book The Scarlet Virgins, you can go to www.scarletvirgins.com! If you would like to support Rebecca in her journey and help her fund more books and other content, please consider becoming a patron over at https://www.patreon.com/RebeccaLemke P.S. My apologies, I am still getting used to recording on my phone and during this episode my husband texted me not once, not twice, but three times! I didn't realize it would ring while I had a recorder app on. 

In this episode, Rebecca discusses understanding and bridging the generational gap in thinking about purity culture and courtship. If you would like to find more of Rebecca's content like media appearances, more podcast episodes, and her book The Scarlet Virgins, you can go to www.scarletvirgins.com! If you would like to support Rebecca in her journey and help her fund more books and other content, please consider becoming a patron over at https://www.patreon.com/RebeccaLemke

In this episode, Rebecca interviews Dr. Corey Carlisle on Eros, what to expect from Christian marriage counseling, and about general sexual/relational health.   You can find Dr. Carlisle on Twitter at @drcoreycarlisle, his personal website: http://coreycarlisle.org/ and his counseling website: https://intimatemarriage.org/

In this episode, Rebecca discusses the dynamics of sex within purity culture and the focus on destruction rather than creation.  If you would like to find more of Rebecca's content like media appearances, more podcast episodes, and her book The Scarlet Virgins, you can go to www.scarletvirgins.com! If you would like to support Rebecca in her journey and help her fund more books and other content, please consider becoming a patron over at https://www.patreon.com/RebeccaLemke

In this episode, Rebecca discusses the things in purity culture that led to her development of anorexia. If you would like to find more of Rebecca's content like media appearances, more podcast episodes, and her book The Scarlet Virgins, you can go to www.scarletvirgins.com!

In this episode, Rebecca interviews Thomas Umstattd Jr., author of Courtship in Crisis. They discuss a variety of topics pertaining to courtship including the varying definitions it has, trying to find relationships after having been immersed in the courtship model, the differences between generations and how they view relationships and Christianity, facing criticism for critiquing courtship, and God's faithfulness.  You can buy Courtship in Crisis here: http://www.thomasumstattd.com/books/courtship-in-crisis/ You can listen to it by going to audibletrial.com/novelmarketing and selecting it for your free audiobook.  You can find Thomas on Twitter here @ThomasUmstattd Or on his website http://www.thomasumstattd.com/ Thomas currently has two podcasts related to content creation which you can find below.  For novel marketing: https://www.novelmarketing.com/ For creative funding: https://creativefunding.show/

In this episode, Rebecca interviews Nick Peters on what it is like to be married with Aspergers, his journey of waiting until marriage to have sex, and his insights and advice on men, sexuality, and marriage. Nick runs a Facebook group to support men who are about to get married, it is called As Christ Loved the Church. You can find Nick at Deeper Water Apologetics and on Twitter at @ApologiaNick

In this episode, Rebecca interviews her childhood Pastor from the small town LCMS congregation she attended for 18 years. The discussion includes: Defining Law and Gospel, the three functions of the Law, balancing Law and Gospel, and answering the questions below. What is a young person to do in the face of their friend's promiscuity? Do you, as a pastor, regret any of your earlier teachings? Have they stayed consisted throughout your ministry? The book of Revelation being abused (think #raptureanxiety) What does a congregant do if their church is going down a bad, perhaps legalist, road? What did you think of the application of Law and Gospel in Rachael Denhollander's case? How do you determine how a person needs to hear more Law or Gospel? Is there a process or is it mostly just a feeling and experience? How do you ensure the Gospel predominates, as Walther says it must? Some words for those who are spiritually homeless (those who do not have a church) Did you ever notice I was being exposed and slipping into legalism? Do you have any funny stories of me as a child? (Featuring what happens when you forget your Latin book in Pastor's class.) Articles of Pastor Brown's to read: What does sin boldly mean? Be Slow To Define Sin for Your Neighbor Pastor's Blog: Confessional Gadfly Pastor's Podcasts: Count it All Joy Show Podcast (earlier episodes can be found here) Higher Things Gospeled Boldly Podcast Amazing coffee that we mentioned: Coffee by Gillespie

In this episode, Rebecca interviews the director of I Survived I Kissed Dating Goodbye, Jessica Wyngaard. They chat about how Jessica met Joshua Harris, how she deal with her emotions towards his book, her upcoming documentary, and women's vocations. The documentary website: Isurvivedikdg.com  Jessica's email: Jessica@Isurvivedikdg.com

Self-care is extremely important for anyone working to support someone through their mental health journey. I'm quite fond of the analogy of a plane crash where, in order to help others, you must first put on your own oxygen mask. This concept underlies all of my self-care tips for those who find themselves on the end of working diligently to prevent a suicide attempt. You can read a version of this content here: http://wp.me/p6ZIkM-vW The Suicide Prevention Lifeline, there is a chat and a number to call: https://suicidepreventionlifeline.org/ The wonderful woman I mentioned in the video, I think you all would like her book, "Beyond the Darkness" - here is an interview she has done so you can see what she is about: http://horizonselfdiscovery.com/interview-angie-fenimore/ Her website can be found here: http://www.angiefenimore.com/ SafeTALK Training: https://www.livingworks.net/training-and-trainers/find-a-training-workshop/ Dear listener, Please be advised this podcast episode is adapted from a YouTube video I put out in September of 2017. As such, it does not have my normal verbal opening or close and there is reference to the fact that it is a video. I don't know why, but I felt a pull to use this audio from the YouTube channel this week. I hope it is helpful.  Rebecca Lemke 

In this groundbreaking episode, Rebecca Lemke interviews Justin Megna about a topic no one else has touched: the "Counter Purity Movement." The Counter Purity Movement is a phrase they have coined for the scorched-earth social landscape some trod following purity culture, which includes outright hedonism, abuse within recovery communities, and versions of Christianity manipulated to be more sexually permissive. Justin and Rebecca discuss purity culture, the Counter Purity Movement, and some of the ways in which these cultures are two sides of the same coin. They talk about their own - sometimes painful - journeys in finding their way to a healthy, holistic approach to life, love, and Christianity. They are in complete agreement that Jesus Christ should our all-in-all and any path that leads away from him, whether hyper-legalistic or licentious, should be rejected.  Justin Megna is the creator of thatcrazychristianromance.com, a blog dedicated to sharing biblical wisdom for romantic relationships. Justin teaches a discipleship-based approach to romantic relationships that defies both legalism and licentiousness in romance. He completed a BA in Pastoral Ministry at University of Valley Forge. Follow Justin on Twitter at @JustinMegna.

In this episode, Rebecca Lemke interviews Rebecca Lindenbach on her recently released book "Why I Didn't Rebel." They discuss the definition of rebellion, spanking, mental health, etc. Lindenbach's book is a wonderful resource for both evaluating your childhood and starting a conversation on how you would like to parent. Extra note: Due to the sensitive nature of topics like spanking and single parenthood addressed in this podcast episode, please be advised that it is not our intent to be inflammatory or derogatory in the conversation, but to approach it from our separate backgrounds and experiences and to offer a cross-cultural perspective.

If you've been raised in purity culture, sex can be incredibly frustrating and you may be tempted to fake an orgasm to make your spouse happy...but don't! In this episode of The Scarlet Virgins Podcast, Rebecca discusses why it isn't a good idea to "fake it" in your sexual relationship with your spouse.

Purity culture often reinforces frigid behaviors that already are impressed upon women when it comes to sex. This leads many spouses to confusion and sexual frustration. In this podcast episode of The Scarlet Virgins, Rebecca offers 10 Tips for Dealing with a Sexually Frigid Spouse. 

For folks who are recovering from childhood abuses (legalism, physical abuse, cults, etc), recovery groups seem like a good resource for recovery. But are some recovery groups worse for you than the thing you were originally recovering from (or at least compounding the trauma)? Kicking wounded people while they are down? In this podcast episode of The Scarlet Virgins, Rebecca shares her thoughts on why we need to use discernment when it comes to these kinds of communities.

In this episode, recorded live in California at Professor Mallinson's home, Rebecca interviews the author of the book "Sexy" about finding erotic virtue in perplexing times. Among the things discussed: the "sin of Onan," Prostitution, Sexual Assault, Victim Blaming, Hollywood, and Christian Sexual Ethics. I think you guys are really going to love this interview with Jeff! If you'd like to hear more from him check out his work on virtueinthewasteland.com, and look up his book "Sexy" on Amazon.

No-Touch courtship is a concept that is very popular in Conservative homeschooling circles. It has been made popular by famous families like the Duggars and glamorized to a certain degree that it may not deserve. In this podcast episode of The Scarlet Virgins, Rebecca discusses the pros and cons of no-touch courtship. If you like this content, you may enjoy The Scarlet Virgins book, available on Amazon!

I mentioned this in another video, but I got my hair fixed up for the first time recently! I'd never colored it or had anything done besides a simple hair cut. What I wasn't anticipating is how I was impacted by getting this done. I grew up in modesty and purity culture and they got in my noggin a bit here. Have you ever had this happen? Please share with me! If you like this content, you may enjoy The Scarlet Virgins book: https://www.amazon.com/Scarlet-Virgin... Do you benefit from the content I put out? Please consider supporting me on Patreon (it is like giving a tip to your favorite artist): https://www.patreon.com/RebeccaLemke Subscribe to my channel: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCr3v... Subscribe to my blog: http://rebeccalemke.com Follow me on Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/thatnewcrunch... Tweet me on Twitter: http:///www.twitter.com/newcrunchymom Check out my Pinterest: http://www.pinterest.com/newcrunchymom Email me: Rebecca@newcrunchymom.com

I talked about this a little in my book which is linked below, but I have observed a significant amount of people impacted by purity culture being drawn towards BDSM, Rape Fantasy, and other things that I would classify as sexual band-aids given the circumstances. ________________________________ If you like this content, you may enjoy The Scarlet Virgins book: https://www.amazon.com/Scarlet-Virgin... Do you benefit from the content I put out? Please consider supporting me on Patreon (it is like giving a tip to your favorite artist): https://www.patreon.com/RebeccaLemke Subscribe to my channel: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCr3v... Subscribe to my blog: http://rebeccalemke.com Follow me on Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/thatnewcrunchymom Tweet me on Twitter: http:///www.twitter.com/newcrunchymom Check out my Pinterest: http://www.pinterest.com/newcrunchymom Email me: Rebecca@newcrunchymom.com

If you were raised in purity culture like me, you may have run into some different sexual dysfunctions. Hopefully this video (an extra to my Scarlet Virgins podcast) will give you some things to think about and comfort in knowing you aren't alone and your worth is not found in your sexuality. ________________________________ If you like this content, you may enjoy The Scarlet Virgins book: https://www.amazon.com/Scarlet-Virgin... Do you benefit from the content I put out? Please consider supporting me on Patreon (it is like giving a tip to your favorite artist): https://www.patreon.com/RebeccaLemke Subscribe to my channel: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCr3v... Subscribe to my blog: http://rebeccalemke.com Follow me on Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/thatnewcrunch... Tweet me on Twitter: http:///www.twitter.com/newcrunchymom Check out my Pinterest: http://www.pinterest.com/newcrunchymom Email me: Rebecca@newcrunchymom.com

Hey guys! This is a podcast episode that has been adapted from my article "How To Get Used To Sex When You've Been Raised To Be Ashamed" which you can find here: http://rebeccalemke.com/2017/08/18/ho... If you've been raised in purity culture and have trouble owning your own sexuality, this is the video for you. ________________________________ Get the book: https://www.amazon.com/Scarlet-Virgin... Do you benefit from the content I put out? Please consider supporting me on Patreon (it is like giving a tip to your favorite artist): https://www.patreon.com/RebeccaLemke Subscribe to my YouTube channel: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCr3v... Subscribe to my blog: http://rebeccalemke.com Follow me on Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/thatnewcrunchymom Tweet me on Twitter: http:///www.twitter.com/newcrunchymom Check out my Pinterest: http://www.pinterest.com/newcrunchymom Email me: Rebecca@newcrunchymom.com

This is the second episode of The Scarlet Virgins Podcast that has been recorded for Youtube. This episode is on sexual suppression after growing up in purity culture and how it has had an impact on myself and my peers. ________________________________ If you enjoyed this topic, you can find more content on the same subjects by getting The Scarlet Virgins book: https://www.amazon.com/Scarlet-Virgin... Do you benefit from the content I put out? Please consider supporting me on Patreon (it is like giving a tip to your favorite artist): https://www.patreon.com/RebeccaLemke Subscribe to my YouTube channel: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCr3v... Subscribe to my blog: http://rebeccalemke.com Follow me on Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/thatnewcrunchymom Tweet me on Twitter: http:///www.twitter.com/newcrunchymom Check out my Pinterest: http://www.pinterest.com/newcrunchymom Email me: Rebecca@newcrunchymom.com

This is the first of my podcast episodes to be recorded for my YouTube audience. We hope you enjoy it! Sorry about the clapping at the end, that was to tell my audio recorder to split to the next episode! ;) Dysfunctional childhoods often go hand in hand with purity culture. This can cause compounded issues later on it relationships like issues with vulnerability, trust, etc. ________________________________ Get the book: https://www.amazon.com/Scarlet-Virgin... Do you benefit from the content I put out? Please consider supporting me on Patreon (it is like giving a tip to your favorite artist): https://www.patreon.com/RebeccaLemke Subscribe to my channel: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCr3v... Subscribe to my blog: http://rebeccalemke.com Follow me on Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/thatnewcrunch... Tweet me on Twitter: http:///www.twitter.com/newcrunchymom Check out my Pinterest: http://www.pinterest.com/newcrunchymom Email me: Rebecca@newcrunchymom.com

"Men can't be sexually assaulted," "men are emotionless," "men are inherently bad because they are sexual," etc. These are all things Rebecca learned about men through purity culture. In this episode, she addresses these assumptions and calls out purity culture's failed promises by pointing out how the side effects of the movement are not unlike the ramifications of a pornography addiction. For more bonus content and to get your copy of Rebecca Lemke's "The Scarlet Virgins" - visit scarletvirgins.com. 

Is it okay to cut your hair, wear makeup, wear spaghetti straps, and get your ears pierced? It depends on who you ask! As a child, Rebecca had many friends who were not allowed or afforded even the most basic of grooming and cosmetic choices. In this episode, she discusses coming out of this unique part of modesty and purity culture and the things that have helped her in this journey. For more bonus content and to get your copy of Rebecca Lemke's "The Scarlet Virgins" - visit scarletvirgins.com. 

On 6/23/2017 Rebecca was interviewed by Thomas Umstattd Jr on The Bridge in Austin, TX. Listen here to the audio of there exchange, where they discuss the way legalistic Purity Culture elevates sex and a false idea of “purity,” and buries the Gospel.  For more bonus content and to get your copy of Rebecca Lemke's "The Scarlet Virgins" - visit scarletvirgins.com. 

Masturbation is a taboo subject, sometimes even in secular culture. But if we never talk about it, we inadvertently add unnecessary shame to the topic. Most of us have learned that the Bible says it is wrong, but what does the Bible actually say about it?  In this episode, Rebecca talks about relevant Scripture on the topic, practical things to consider, and he own thoughts on the matter.    For more bonus content and to get your copy of Rebecca Lemke's "The Scarlet Virgins" - visit scarletvirgins.com. 

When you break off a dating relationship, it hurts. But what happens when you get dumped (by a Dad or otherwise) in courtship? The stakes are the equivalent of a broken engagement, and some would even say a marriage. The pain is excruciating, but if you've had a failed courtship, you aren't alone! In this episode, Rebecca talks about her own experience with a failed courtship (and her husband's) and what you can do to heal afterwards. For more bonus content and to get your copy of Rebecca Lemke's "The Scarlet Virgins" - visit scarletvirgins.com. 

Legalism in purity culture produces shame, which in turn can cause internalized self-hatred. Addiction, mental health issues, and self-harm are all a result of this internalized self-hatred. In this episode, Rebecca talks about the scars we carry, whether they are physical or mental, and introduces a new way of thinking about our permanent marks. Jesus has scars just like us, and ours serve as a perfect way to point us to Him.  For more bonus content and to get your copy of Rebecca Lemke's "The Scarlet Virgins" - visit scarletvirgins.com.   

Growing up in purity culture, Rebecca and her female friends always heard phrases like "men are visual", "boys will be boys", etc. These phrases taught that men were perverted sex beasts due to their interest in sex and that women were more prim and proper, and naturally disinterested in sex. In this episode, Rebecca talks about ladies who struggle with lust to let them know they aren't alone and assures all who struggle that our identity is not found in our failings, but in Christ's sacrifice!  For more bonus content and to get your copy of Rebecca Lemke's "The Scarlet Virgins" - visit scarletvirgins.com. 

After being raised in legalistic purity culture, Rebecca experienced the loss of many friends walking away from the Christian faith.  In this episode, she details her journey in dealing with friends apostatizing and what she has learned to do (and what not to do) when this happens. For more bonus content and to get your copy of Rebecca Lemke's "The Scarlet Virgins" - visit scarletvirgins.com. 

Many purity culture "graduates" experience hangups when they get married when it comes to their sexual lives and relationship with their spouse. The fear and shame learned from purity culture often leads them to stay silent about their private thought lives and other intimate details that should be freely shared with their spouse. In this episode, Rebecca addresses a few of these hangups and encourages spouses to love one another fully by working together to overcome these hangups.  For more bonus content and to get your copy of Rebecca Lemke's "The Scarlet Virgins" - visit scarletvirgins.com. 

When Rebecca talks about taboo topics that come up in purity culture like mental health and sex, she often hears something along the lines of, "Aren't you worried what people will think?" In this episode, she challenges the assumption that speaking about something means you are being irreverent and shares the lack of fear she has in talking about brokenness in Jesus.  For more bonus content and to get your copy of Rebecca Lemke's "The Scarlet Virgins" - visit scarletvirgins.com. 

Secular culture and Christian purity culture both push certain narratives about pornography, but are they correct? In this episode, Rebecca discusses the social scripts on both sides of the spectrum and identifies issues she finds with both. Her belief is that we need a new approach to pornography, one that is truly empowering.  For more bonus content and to get your copy of Rebecca Lemke's "The Scarlet Virgins" - visit scarletvirgins.com. 

Growing up, Rebecca Lemke was taught that modesty was a woman's issue. She was told that men were visual and didn't possess self-control, so it was the duty of her and her female friends to keep their male companions on the straight and narrow.  After leaving legalism and purity culture, Rebecca was introduced to the idea that women play no part in loving their male neighbors through their wardrobe. This rhetoric left her thinking: Am I my brother's keeper? In this episode, she recounts her experiences with both of these schools of thought and offers her Christ-focused approach as an alternative.  For more bonus content and to get your copy of Rebecca Lemke's "The Scarlet Virgins" - visit scarletvirgins.com. 

Secular culture tells us that, before we enter into marriage, we need to "try" each other out sexually. This culture has a large focus on love in connection with sex and attraction. On the flip-side, legalistic purity culture often dictates that marriage is more about obligation, and some facets even claim that love is only a choice as opposed to a feeling. In this episode, Rebecca seeks to unite what each culture gets right about sex and love while dispelling the incorrect and faulty assumptions found on both sides.  For more bonus content and to get your copy of "The Scarlet Virgins" by Rebecca Lemke - visit scarletvirgins.com. 

Both purity culture and secular culture set our expectations of sex (or "sexpectations"). While it may be tempting to reduce one view to being right and the other view to being wrong, we must examine both through the truth of scripture and our own consciences. In this episode, Rebecca talks about what both cultures get wrong when it comes to setting sexual expectations, and encourages listeners to nix what they think they know about sex.  For more bonus content and to get your copy of "The Scarlet Virgins" by Rebecca Lemke - visit scarletvirgins.com. 

Our assumptions and internalized beliefs about sex can have a negative impact on the intimacy that takes place in marriage, especially when you've been raised in legalism or purity culture. In this episode, Rebecca challenges some of the common mindset problems that disrupt healthy sexuality such as the nasty rumor that women aren't sexual. She also addresses some of the insecurities that crop up for both sexes, like body imagine issues and previous sexual encounters or assaults. For more bonus content and to get your copy of "The Scarlet Virgins" by Rebecca Lemke - visit scarletvirgins.com. 

The vocations of singleness and marriage are ones that can be mishandled by the modern Christian church. Imbalance has come about in thinking about and discussing both vocations, often due to misrepresentation, twisting of scripture, and a lack of empathy. In this episode, Rebecca discusses the importance  of viewing the vocations of this life through a holistic mindset and not being caught up in counting the quantity of people in any given vocation.   For more bonus content and to get your copy of "The Scarlet Virgins" by Rebecca Lemke - visit scarletvirgins.com. 

Joshua Harris' famous (or infamous) book, I Kissed Dating Goodbye is a major piece of purity culture's history. The content of this book is so controversial that many parents and children who grew up in the era this book influenced are still sorting out their thoughts about it! In this episode, Rebecca discusses her current attitude towards the author and respectfully challenges many of his assertions. For more bonus content and to get your copy of "The Scarlet Virgins" by Rebecca Lemke - visit scarletvirgins.com.