The Tea Gxrls

It's time * hits that Mariah Carey note!

Spooky season wrapped up but we still have your top 5 stories!

This fortnight we go from an Amish alert to a Stormy Daniel and a goat... how does that work I don't know! Tune in and find out xxxx

We back ...This week we started the show by getting Adam's blood boiling. Jmil realised why she'd never date a person who works a farm.. but what does that have to do with our top 5 stories this week... tune in and found out!

its another fortnightly update of news happening across the globe!

Woodi Mala! Welcome back for another episode of what's happening in the world. Here's our top 5 stories 1. Prince Harry & Megan try for Fast & Furious in New York city... skeptical but understand the PTSD 2. Noosa Nudist association says QLD needs to bare all and make nudist beaches legal 3. Qantas introduces Neighbour Free program - no more neighbours well for a price! 4. Stuck in the Victorian bush for 5 days with nothing but Wine and Allens lollies - Bear Gryles who 5. Angle energy could've been worse....Angle Energy

Top 5 stories: Jmil got caught out on an AI song - Drake & The Weeknd. What does AI mean, a societal gamechanger or negative? Ed Sheeran .. nah we dont care King Charles just got Coronated who was there ? Met Gala happened .. actually Doja "meow meow" Cat happened Top Ultra Marathon Runner Josia Zakazewki disqualified!

Water is the theme but Tea is the outcome. Disney is preparing for the live action remake of Lilo and Stitch .. Barbie Movie is in and despite Jmils hesitation we're keen and rooting for Greta Gerwig The mother of all mothers a part from Onika Tanya Maraj-Petty (obvs Adams fav) and Aubrey Plaza (Jmils fav) Jennifer Coolidge is coming to Sydney for Vivid. Adam shares his top 3 people he'd want to bump into at the all-inclusive private couples resort Nobu! Something about Duct tape and I think we spoke about Kyle Richards and Mauricio calling it quits.. I dont know you'll just have to listen to the show xx

SEASON 3 is a little different! We would just like to say thanks to everyone that rocked with us in the first two seasons where we discussed all things Real Housewives. It was a lot of fun and chaotic drama. But.. we decided lets take our show down another path. Join us each fortnight as Adam and Jmil dive into the latest pop culture TEA and provide some savoury or unsavoury opinion biscuits! On this weeks show: We understood the meaning of white lady shade - "I wish you well" - from none other than Ms Gwyneth Paltrow. Poosh is the poor man's GOOP You can now buy Super Mario's shoes Jmil has a PSA for all the single older ladies wanting her number Our wellbeing tip is writing an Intentions List because we need accountability of ourselves and not a gym membership we got from an outdated New Years Resolution

Well dang it's been a minute. But cheers, here's to a new variation of Tea Gxrls. We've decided to move away from recapping Real hOusewives, because let's be brutally honest those heauxes are exhausttttttiiiiinnnnggg. So stay tuned as we serve you our favourite pop culture stories of the month and Adam basically giving you educated responses! We're here to give the people fun ice breakers for their next date or lunch room conversation ! xx Jmil & Adam

Season 2 of Tea Gxrls is in effect... We're doing RHOA!! Don't come for me because I'm only bring out episode 5, just know I'll be posting every Thursday. Are we just making up stories because, Gene Simmons, Prince and NBA star!!!

Well has it been the Erika show the entire time? yes, yes it has and well honey we are exhausted. 6 long months and we wrap it up for our last four part reunion. Sheesh let me tell you we've learnt a few things over the past half a year! For one we know how to make a promise or was it a threat? ahh we've learnt to understand how money works and how to be responsible for it. We also understand the power of a lengthy ad nauseam article. We also understood critical race theory was never discussed prior to "tell me you're no that girl". OR you can buy 2k Vetements bear slippers. But most of all we learnt Lisa RInna is the epitome of altruism ... hahaha kidding.. her one cut wonder of a hair cut and ability to churn butter into insane gossip and rumours is what keeps her on our screens. 

A lot of box ticking and fluff happened in this episode - but most importantly we had a special guest! Dan gave us the real shady tea and perhaps a glam squad that even Dorito and little miss pretty mess would be jelly of! To be brief, Andy somewhat turned the heat up on EJ, however it's not like she could answer honestly with her pre-rehearsed answers. Kyle and Dorit tried to backpedal in desperation to get back into the good graces of EJ ... again why? Crystal asked why she's not angry enough. EJ glared her teeth like a hyena. Andy asked what do we like most about Crystal? Kathy told us she had more than one coffee filter or lampshade hat in her collection. Garcelle was over it after she had to say Dorito dresses well. and yeah that's the main points, oh yeah we also found out the lady's name = Paula!! As usual LIKE SHARE FOLLOW all the good tings

It was giving unfaithful, nokia 3315, cease and desist, I am not at liberty to say. Honey we were clenching our cheeks too, we thought we were under fire with all the rapid fire questions. Kyle finally had a chance to open her gob but managed to act like the innocent lamb. Dorit managed bore the host but also gave clarity on the prices of her wedding dress collection. [Side bar anyone have a ritzy wedding, particularly anyone of the African diaspora - we would love to attend.. not even joking!] Rinna fidgeted more than a fidget spinner. We learnt Amelia broke it off with the Lord Disick. Kathy and Kyle had a good cry and hopefully closed the chapter on their estranged ways - now lets bring back Kim hehe

Alright we've made it... to the reunion. One of four! So what happened, well firstly the studio has recreated Kathy Hiltons backyard - sweet. Secondly EJ has somewhat tried to use her words carefully but has failed miserably and called the victims alleged. We also learn her lawyers advised her to quit the show. But when you have bills to pay, you can't be a quitter - am I right or am I right! Sutton threw the first shady burn and it was well deserved for Rinna, I mean to not call Sutton's store a business? I mean if it's not, what is it - please define because we'd really love to hear this definition. Also Michael broke up with Sutton on Valentines Day! Fenty-way, we really do hope Sutton's business is growing "EXPONENTIALLY" and not excrementally? Whilst Sutton is building empires she's also burning Bel Air mansions. EJ mentions she's back in the streets looking for a nice fella with a big anaconda (I felt weird typing that haha). Next up on the list we have Garcelle, and let me tell you, she held her own. When two irrelevant heauxes came for her crown, she said kneel and kiss my ring. Dorit and her parrot Rinna shaved some micro-aggressions like it was parmesan cheese. To one point we had another phrase up for debate "passively provocative" and then Dorit yelling for what reason? Garcelle and Rinna's friendship is weird y'all, I should put that in air quotes. EJ pipes up and says should Rinna stop trying to rebuild their friendship? Harry also gets mentioned, for no reason. I mean Lisa used him as way of saying you look unhappy. Nah girl you look unhappy because you got caught in your own lie and now people have the facts and they are going to read you to filth - I'm talking about the fact that you allegedly said you didn't want race to be brought onto the show. So that was Part one.  

Ahhh 5 months hello!! Season 11 has come to an end and what a way to round it out, Celebrating Chinese New Year because we all need to start the new year with the right foot. Let us start with the fact that Dorito's kids be telling her don't mix brands Gucci and Louis only if you in .. well as Travis Scott says "A Place you cannot go". Erika collects herself with a monologue she things will gain her an #EGOT "I'll remember those who were with me & who was against me". All Crystal wanted to know was if she can keep it together at her event. Kathy is designing/building a new mcmansion in #BelAir, Sutton relives that newly married feeling as she's swept off her feet and carried into "not" her new 53 million home. Kathy is giving us lampshade or is she telling us this is her shade hat - at this point, lets not question it! The Awesome foursome get together for a kiki and last dinner. Shocker EJ can't remember her own stories, Dorito has to throw the lifesaver and EJ replies with do you want to get socked. Hold on now no need for the violence we know you live in Surburbia. Garcelle goes on a tailgate date, we'll say it - it was lame, no HUNKY Dory just forgettable Dory! The spirit stick has mended the relationship between Crystal and Sutton and we're happy. But not as happy as seeing Mrs Tina and Marshall turning up to celebrate Chinese Year, so adorable. Kathy brings a guest Elliot Mintz, Lisa's BFF. Also we're with Garcelle, not feeling Rinna's wig. Could Denise be coming back by way of Garcelle?? Sutton arrives and EJ turns the other cheek for some candy - wowww. Kyle missed the memo on the drums, Rob provides a speech and we're like someone listens to their wife attentively. Sutton tries to make amends with EJ, but silence takes over, like bruh #GTFO . In the end, the all knowing Kathy reunites EJ and Sutton. Boom bow that's that folks. Season 11! Lets go 4 part REUNION

Dumped it right in my mouth, spit don't swallow - usually those are the words that are used when on a wine trip, but the #RHOBH ladies had other ideas - like EJ's ALLEGED story. Oh yeah it's bad, Tom's cataracts exploded during the burglary - like what mate? Sutton isn't here for the shenanigans and is putting up her mantle as #FancyDrew and letting the Scooby Gang solve it for once. Kathy decides to dip and go for a massage - I think we now understand why Kathy is the way she is, Barbie commercial + golf ball, you see where I'm going with this! EJ seems to think even though Tom has done good in the world other people should step up and it give an arm and leg too.. Even EJ's son has had enough of her Disaster 43 movie of a life (cause its a parody at this point). Also we see EJ flip a switch at the dinner, and decides to be cordial and pay a compliment to Sutton (Ahhh hello xanax is that you, somebody call security we might have a situation). Kyle thinks a cat has caught Sutton's tongue, but we're all taken back by EJ's switcharoo. Meanwhile all the gals except Sutt and Garcelle are enjoying this dystopian charade. Seems a bit phony - we agree Garcelle! Confessionals proves our suspicions and our statement that in fact EJ is a stone faced liar. Crystal and Lisa decide on yoga in water - dumb - also found out its Crystals birthday. A real friend would know that hey Rinna (just saying). Lawyer tells EJ's she's so courageous, alright blow it up your (redacted). To end the evening a boat ride, a private chef, a game of never have I ever and peace offering between Crystal and Sutton. Also Kathy you a lil nasty freak aint ya!

Look it all went downhill after we heard 'The Lady'. Basically Mrs Hilton decided to plan a girls trip to Hotel Del Mar. Kathy calls Dorit to understand the situationship between her and Garcelle. To which Kathy has no interest in understanding ha ha. Anyway the ladies create a convoy at Kyle's house ready for the road trip - separate cars please because global warming. Kathy can't find her bag with her phone and she also doesn't know how to check her gas - ay dios mio! Ring Ring Kyle can you call the "Lady" to bring my phone and bag to 405 and Sunset Drive. ooohhh chil'. Sutton heads to the ER because her ankle is all Black and Blue, the rest of the ladies enjoy a pop up picnic and a show provided by the local seals. EJ drops another bombshell and uses the word 'ALLEGEDLY" to which we all gasp in horror (its almost Halloween). Sooo you're saying you lied ? Why do you have beef with Sutton then? so confused. Fentyway Garcelle arrives and lil mis Sutton is wheeled up to her room - its Black History month give her a break y'all. We find out that Sutton offered EJ a loan after the "DIVORCE", I mean that seems really small town of her, hey? A dinner is set, and basically EJ DGAF about Sutton! Garcelle is broken down like a horse, to satisfy the emotions and egos of the women around the table - because being the straight shooter with the direct honesty hasn't been heard or seen (I'm praying at this point because Jesus done wept). Just a mess y'all. The next day the ladies enjoy a sound bath, and then ping google alert/ Tom Girardi's brother is named the conservator for his estate and well for Tom. Because of his alleged dementia. EJ calls on Lisa and Kyle to discuss the page 6 article, and wait it for it - yep she's about to have a nervous breakdown!

It's all a little too much. The stories, the timelines the wedding dresses! It must be the vanity and the glamour but Dorit has sent out her invitations for the launch of her new wedding collection collaboration. Let's destress with 24 karat gold masks that have been recharged by the raiki crystal energy - because that's what Kathy Hilton likes to do. EJ retells an unbelievable story, no really its unbelievable, honestly we should bring in Ripley's believe it or not! Garcelle has another session with her dating coach/matchmaker and we see someone that looks like they came straight out of a calvin klein ad. Crystal and Rob are renovating their basement into a High End Game Room?! but maybe a million is too much.. what do i know ! Who do we have here it's the Richards/Umansky and Kemsley couples sharing a dinner, where the salmon is still overcooked. The ladies share the unbelievable story EJ has so kindly shared and the fellas are like you whot mate? PK's logic makes sense and we dislike it with a passion, but when you're right you're right. Dorit showcases 'The Dresses' and then Kyle drags Garcelle to the open ring with "what you been saying in them blogs?"

Ahh sis said what!! Pretty sure Kathy thought there was an extra guest at the dinner party named Sue. Fingers were put in faces, bells were rung it was a mess. Lets also mention the time out and take a breath moment, you know the one where a child has a tantrum and you need them to calm down.... The Ooosaaa did not work here because EJ gave a threatening PROMISE! Sutton was like I'm out, you can keep that promise to yo self and ya mumma! Kyle and Sutton meet up at Bonhams. Basically where dreams go to die for people who have less than 1K in their bank account. Air quotes were pulled out, and rightfully so, because Kyle you were disrespecting a beach and acting like a SIMP! Moving on we're still waiting for Dorit to finish her toast to PK. ummm thanks PK for the crisis management lecture?! Yes raunchy posts of [redacted] lingerie were posted by EJ and yes the captions were off target and yes brand reputation is important. But the heaux needs money to keep the humble abode and Dyson. Sak Passe yess we live for the Haitian Dinner Party! Yess Garcelle give those fakers some real seasoned wholesome food. Dorit needs to learn the difference between a joke and a jab. Also gurrlll you is petty for dropping the Yellow Gucci Pants, mama *Chefs kisses* for that moment.

Dorit has decided wedding dresses are the new thing to stretch her creative muscles, good  luck with that hun. I think you should call one of them 'The Dress'. Sutton and Kyle catch up at the neverending unfinished house. It almost seems like a very transactional friendship. As long as you have the rent money we are good. Anyway Sutton has revealed she's been wearing the kid gloves around Erika and its time to take them off. Oh the bathroom looks lovely. Its the 25th Anniversary for Kyle and Mauricio, cute ok next. Yes for duck pancakes, Crystal is having a muckbang and has only invited Kathy, Garcelle and Erika. Yikes I guess if you know someone from the country club your worth knowing - Sorry Sutton. Looks like Garcelle had a lot to note down if she ever wanted to be verbatim. Kathy is roaming the halls and checking all the bathrooms of the west wing, because the dinner party is about to begin. French butlers, cheese balls, vodka and caviar pie just sounds decadent as heck. But that decadence didn't stay too long once Lisa got the bell. Sutton was thrown under the bus, Dorit started talking and Garcelle tried the human nature clause. Sorry Beyonce but there was another Queen Bee in 1955

Nobody does vintage like Lisa Rinna's garage. I'm not mad at it. It's giving quality over quantity... That's how you keep your money honey. Keeping up with Crystal's booked and busy schedule, looks like she has the Rinna Beauty Launch happening at her abode, smart we like it. But hold up cue drama, Dorit is having a conniption, Garcelle is giving truth and showing the mess yet again and some can't handle it. Talk about mess Erika is cleaning? tramp stamp and all, she's getting all the nooks and crannies. Anyway Kyle's birthday is celebrated with some liberated rosé and faux fur, how darling! It is without remiss to say how small town of Sutton, but also Yolanda's name got dropped? For why? Was this really the point Erika knew of Tom's discretions. Yikes. Rinna's Launch goes off with a bang, but the Sutty Butty Buthole has loosened inhibitions, for which Dorit insists on a messy segue to her vegan beef with Garcelle, and is succinctly cleared as having no substance. Erika snaps a tude with Sutton and the Launch is over. We also see a heartfelt homecoming over a tv snack table between Kathy and Kyle. Ooof what an episode.

Jingle Bell Jingle Bell Jingle Bell, don't rock the boat. Ahh nope we are, because Sutton brought her own receipts. Reputations are on the line, optics are bigger than faux coats I mean friends. Dorit seems to team up with the Sisterhood of the travelling couture and alliances are made. Because things aren't adding up, from three years ago with a head injury to 10 years ago embezzlement was hushed word. The expose lit a fire and the ladies were sure to dial 1 for their lawyer. Garcelle cooked up a Haitian Christmas feast for her family serving all the goods, Kyle take notes!! Meanwhile Teddi Mellencamp was invited to the Christmas dinner at Kyle's. We ask why, but keep it pushing. A bus was thrown and Sutton was under it, questions that need answering ,weren't . But a stern Medusa face is what Erika was giving honey, she said who called their lawyers, was it you? Garcelle held true and made it fact that her sister weren't through something similar, and the only people we should be looking out for is the victims. Erika will be fine! Lisa had a lot to say but.. bye sis you did nothing, your track record gives you no honour. With all that was said, Kathy completed the night with simply "Well that was good practice".

Back from the midseason break, and not a moment too soon. The emotionally draining dinner is over.. but not yet finished Garcelle still needs to provide her two cents worth. The dishes are still dirty and reminiscent of a backyard rager! Erika's ex was in or wasn't in the hospital, either way Dorit is already writing his social scene eulogy. Chia seeds and a straw is all Kathy wanted. Is that Naomi Campbell in her hazmat suit, nope just Garcelle! Lets go shopping or climb a mountain, no a mound of dirt and profess our truth or just interrogate Erika. 5, 4, 3, 2, 1 yep Erika has cracked it!

Just get to the Erika Jayne point, I'm not interested in Lisa and Sutton packing..Oh wait Garcelle, Crystal and Erika are staying at a hotel and not Kyle's, yep thats safe.. We say goodbye to the pretty mess that is the clubhouse, cue and roll the montage. Okay enough of that, not sure if the big heavy candle is what made Kathy's knees hurt or if driving 2 hours to the desert is what did it?? Talk about what did it, Crystal and Sutton are all chummy (don't rock the cheque book - dollar dollar bills y'all). Don't get to chummy ya just might be froze out again like Tom Girardi's assets - and I oop. The narrative is slowing coming together now that the fair Lady Mac.. sorry Erika has arrived. Need we not fawn over her, ahh nope that's exactly what we're doing, we are running, we are consoling, we are getting an EGOT all four of them bih! It's the theatre for me, because now we know the accident wasn't just an accident it was a magic trick full of FX! Kyle even has the nerve to call it a Daddy-Daughter relationship yikes. Trophy wives huh.. but the real story should be Drake aka Champagne Papi is following Lisa Rinna on IG.. did Madonna change your mind Drake

Ahchoo, bless you no bless Sutton for being able to reopen the heavens of unresolved cases. Kyle, Dorit and Kathy test positive for COVID lets quarantine! Hello Mr Big no Mr Blog, ahh yes it's a sham, it couldn't be, not Erika, she couldn't have known, say it aint so! Erika, Crystal and Lisa have a little w(h)ine and discuss financials at Erika's small and cute abode. Lisa has some vintage dresses, to which daughter shall they be bestowed.. okay Delilah with the slide in of the DM's how millennial of you. Kathy just being relatable and howling to the dogs like, Sue you really get me... Kyle questions her title of Mother, Portia is missing school and sleeping too much - yikes. Lets talk, Kyle and Erika share some tears it's a narrative honey. Sutton has a new dog Waylon, he chewed the walls. But also hey Porter you doing okay sugar, we know you're re a Kappa Kappa grown as woman ain't nobody want to do a playdate..

REWIND 3 days earlier... Harry and Lisa venture to wholefoods for some snacks and maybe a few ingredients for a "Bolognese Luncheon". No Lisa that pumpkin is too big for the table. Come on Erika let's play "Baby tennis", points for willingness and skill. Did I mention it's Kathy's tennis court, I mean we'll see her afterwards for snacks. 3,2,1 say quarantine christmas, the Richards-Umansky household prepares the props for the annual holiday card. Aunt Kathy arrives with her portable pooch and mary poppins bag of goodies! Garcelle could you cook any louder we're trying to learn, Konichiwaaaa! Dorit has a whole mini christmas figurine show happening in the foyer. Lunch is served, and majority of the vegetables have been sourced locally, 10 metre from the house. Rinna surprises Garcelle with a cake and presents. Cue Sutton's meltdown, also cue Crystal not giving AF. And we're back to square one Crystal is not apologising, she said what she said even in her Ugly Leather Pants....

Well it's almost Christmas and Lisa has the attire ready to go. I'm feeling hot no cold ah heck let me just soak up the richness that Sutton is providing with a spa day just for two and Erika. Yes let us take a moment for the poor sweet Kyle (goldfish) who has passed ok next Garcelle just wants to be married! Dorit gives into her narcissistic alter ego and gets that self portrait nailed to her wall. Let's carpe diem and have a cocktail party on Kyle but also not move past that moving “violation” Crystal and Sutton. Phewww chil' let's not mention Lisa may have to give LA's top “Momager” a call because the Lord is moving in.

The elephant in the room has been addressed, Erika bought a new Range Rover everyone can be relieved.. jokes. It's official the papers have been served and Sutton gets to serve her best caviar for her Parisian affair. Garcelle enlists the assistance of a dating coaching, Lisa Rinna's lip kit website just launched, Kathy Hilton is somewhat bilingual with her short hand speak, and Crystal not only presses her dumplings but also Sutton's buttons. Lets not forget Kyle has been sharing her special "intimate THC oil" ....

The US election (2021) is too close to call but the embezzlement and shock divorce of Erika Jayne is at our grasps. Adam and I have a few circle of life theories and we may have a new tv show concept for Brittany (aka Lisa Rinna).. is it gauche to say we can't freaking wait for the Sutton's Parisian lunch!

Lake Tahoe is done and dusted, Sutton now has to add projecting to her list of skills, Lisa Rinna once again is telling more than she should, Crystal perfected MIA, and the text message we've all been waiting for has now been sent! Oh how we love the drama. Join us for another recap of Real Housewives of Beverly Hills Season 11 - Episode 4

The answer we were fervently waiting for.. Sutton gave us her truth ! Just like a Shakespeare play this is turning into slow burn tragedy and obviously we are here for it! Episode three is giving us a box of crayola crayons, eureka gold rush exercise routine and a martini glass with water. Also does Paris Hilton have the highest score on Snake - Nokia version?? Follow us here: https://www.instagram.com/thewindre/ https://www.instagram.com/liliuo_kalani/ https://www.instagram.com/stickyboik/

Okay Miss Kathy Hilton has us feeling a way and whether our sleep routine is on point. Also now I know how Jan Brady felt because Garcelle Garcelle Garcelle (not going to lie Garcelle is big Queen Ting so bite me). With that being said lets talk about what else (bearly) happened this episode!

Season 11 of Real Housewives of Beverly Hills has just been released, and we thought well I think the people deserve our version of a recap. It's all about the drama and if it's reality and it has Housewives in the title Jmíl and Adam are there.