Weekend At Crombie's

How can all those canals and bridges and cobbled streets and those churches, all that beautiful fairytale stuff, how can that not be somebody's thing? 

Why is there always someone who brings eggs and tomatoes to a speech?

The real Santa was totally different. The Coca-Cola Santa is just a hoax. 

I'm old enough to know when life is coming at me with its pants down. 

Show me the 'Elf Face'.

I wished for a purple elephant, but now I want a pink elephant! 

Just when you think it can't get any worse, you run out of cigarettes. 

It'll take me at least a week to dig up all my dolls in the cemetery.

It's 1986, and the way you can tell is because it produced this college comedy about a white law student who pretends to be black in order to qualify for a scholarship. Starring C. Thomas Howell and Rae Dawn Chong, who appeared to crash their careers on this one, but at least met each other and got married.

It's 1993 and Steven Zaillian directs the tale of a young prodigy in a brave attempt to make chess cinematic. With a line-up that includes Ben Kingsley, Laurence Fishburne, Joan Allen, Joe Mantegna, Robert Stephens, William H. Macy, Dan Hedaya, Laura Linney and Tony Shalhoub, this cast goes deeper than a Sicilian Defense.

It's 1977, and Larisa Shepitko directs her final film about two partisans struggling for both life and soul in World War II Belarus. Naturally, hilarity ensues. A profoundly moving and beautiful film, it would nonetheless take a stronger spirit than either of our hosts possess to watch it more than once.

It's 1983, and this rotoscoped animation unites director Ralph Bakshi with legendary sword n' sorcery artist Frank Frazetta. The 80s were a prime time for low budget dark fantasy, and this reads like a Choose Your Own Adventure book. Although, in this case, none of the protagonists ever chose to wear more clothes.

We close the series with the tale of another futuristic city in the form of Francis Ford Coppola's Megalopolis. The city of New Rome is torn between feuding oligarchs, and only one visionary can save us all. Coppola self-financed this film when the studios turned it down. So there's that. The Legend of Crombie‘s Gold examines a series of thematically-linked films - this time, we've chosen films that looked to the days ahead: the Future Is Now!

Alfonso Cuarón's 2006 near-future dystopia tells of societal collapse and widespread intolerance following population crash. Breathtakingly shot and performed, just try not to think on how prescient it's become. The Legend of Crombie‘s Gold examines a series of thematically-linked films - this time, we've chosen films that looked to the days ahead: the Future Is Now!

This 1988 behemoth of Japanese animation looked at a future metropolis in the wake of a devasting war, covering themes of youth, power, friendship, rebirth and some pretty impressive motorbike skills. The Legend of Crombie‘s Gold examines a series of thematically-linked films - this time, we've chosen films that looked to the days ahead: the Future Is Now!

The future in 1976 was about post-apocalyptic population control, where the age of 30 was terminal and Michael York was its ruthless enforcer.  The Legend of Crombie‘s Gold examines a series of thematically-linked films - this time, we've chosen films that looked to the days ahead: the Future Is Now!

Another masterpiece of futurism, this time from Stanley Kubrick as his 1968 film explores human evolution, destiny, exploration, artificial intelligence and just how far a primate can throw a bone. The Legend of Crombie‘s Gold examines a series of thematically-linked films - this time, we've chosen films that looked to the days ahead: the Future Is Now!

We start at the very beginning: Fritz Lang's 1927 expressionist masterpiece of a futuristic urban dystopia. They don't make 'em like this any more. The Legend of Crombie‘s Gold examines a series of thematically-linked films - this time, we've chosen films that looked to the days ahead: the Future Is Now!

It's 2001 and this character piece of science fiction and mystery brings together Kevin Spacey and Jeff Bridges, along with Bono's sunglasses. With a big shout out to our listeners in the Lyra constellation, 1000 light years away.

It's 1981 and Everett McGill, Ron Perlman and Nameer El-Kadi play three cavemen (Ron Perlman was an easy casting, to be fair) who are searching the wilderness for that most precious resource: love (and also fire). A remarkable prehistoric fantasy adventure from director Jean-Jacques Annaud, and a mere 80,000 years later, we have the technology to podcast about it.

We return to our Very Special catalogue to look at arguably the best Tim Key folk music comedy set on a Pembrokeshire island.

It's 1988, and Sidney Poitier has returned from a decade-long absence to team up with Tom Berenger in an odd-couple, buddy-cop hunt through the mountains. Also featuring Kirstie Alley, Clancy Brown and a scene that was surely in contention for Best Supporting Duvet.

It's 2005 and before taking the lead in a modest superhero franchise, Robert Downey Jr. stars with Val Kilmer and Michelle Monaghan in this neo-noir romp by writer-director Shane Black. Our hosts don't always agree on the film of choice, and let's just hope it doesn't end badly. Or possibly bad. Adverbs are tricky.

It's 1965 and, from behind the Iron Curtain, a Czechoslovakian New Wave film stars Jozef Kroner and Ida Kamińska as they depict the Aryanization program in the Slovak Republic during World War II. Academy winner of Best Foreign Language Film, with Ida Kamińska also nominated for Best Actress, there's some powerful stuff here. And also a goose.

It's 1957 and this Stanley Baker vehicle tells the story of gravel haulage on the mean streets of Buckinghamshire. An absolute galaxy of supporting cast, including Patrick McGoohan, Sean Connery, Herbert Lom, Peggy Cummins, William Hartnell, Sid James, Jill Ireland, Gordon Jackson and David McCallum.

Phoebe Cates stars in this Regency-era true story of the mysterious Princess Caraboo. Supporting cast includes Jim Broadbent, Wendy Hughes, Kevin Kline, John Lithgow and Stephen Rea, so the real mystery is: how did this disappear without a trace?

Tim Curry leads a murderers' row of comedic talent in this 1985 mystery comedy based on the family board game. Spoiler: it was Dr Evans. In the kitchen. With the temperamental headset.

James has the numbers, and he's not afraid to use them. We look back on the films of the past year, the whole series, and how the scales of public perception may have rebalanced our previous picks. It's the review of the reviews show!

Are we starting to connect the dots?

We don't fly about throwing lead-painted toys down chimneys anymore.

Santa's gonna eat through these guys like a plate full of cookies.

Be sure to drink your Ovaltine.

Christ on a crutch. What kind of a fascist hash foundry are you running here?

Got about as much use for this as I do a chastity belt.

How much is "wow"? It's right in between, uh, between "ouch" and "boing".

I think what I've got is something slightly resembling, gumption.

Don't play no reindeer games with me.

The wrong guy in the wrong place at the wrong time.

Where do you think you're going? Nobody's leaving. Nobody's walking out on this fun, old-fashioned family Christmas. No, no. We're all in this together.

It ain't cool being no jive turkey so close to Thanksgiving.

Ginger Rogers and James Stewart star in this romantic comedy film from 1938, featuring wisecracks, slapstick and a murphy bed with a mind of its own. Settle yourself in with an oversized ham sandwich and enjoy.

Peter Weller stars in this old familiar tale of a physicist / neurosurgeon / rock star / martial artist, battling inter-dimensional aliens. Also starring Ellen Barkin, John Lithgow, Jeff Goldblum, Christopher Lloyd and Clancy Brown, who must have had some interesting conversations with their agents afterwards.

Hot on the heels of Psycho II, Richard Franklin directs a very young Elisabeth Shue and a very bored Terence Stamp in this chimpanzee-based horror film. Microwave yourself a nice cup of tea and get comfortable, and do mind where your step in the hall.

Alright team, listen up! We're breaking down the playbook on Friday Night Lights. James and Huw struggle manfully to comprehend American football with the same grit and tenacity as a fullback with a dislocated shoulder. There's some difference of opinion in this one, and the movie may not make it to the ten-yard line.

It's 1973 and Sean Connery reunites with director Sidney Lumet to star in a very dark tale of a police officer who suffers a breakdown and kills a suspect. It's a powerful performance from Big Tam and the supporting cast, but we'll pop a content warning in here: there is some pretty disturbing stuff in this one.

It's 1960 and Burt Lancaster plays a smooth-talking chancer who becomes part of a religious revivalist movement in the prohibition-era. Acting alongside other notables like Jean Simmons, Arthur Kennedy and Shirley Jones, this was the role that won Lancaster his only Academy Award for Best Actor. The Legend of Crombie‘s Gold examines a series of thematically-linked films - this time, we're taking a look at the films of Burt Lancaster, as we go From Here To Lancaster!

It's 1968 and, clad in nothing but a pair of swimming shorts, Burt Lancaster plays Neddy Merill, a man who undertakes a suburban odyssey to swim his way home. This doesn't take long to get into the deep end, and Lancaster gives this film everything he's got. The Legend of Crombie‘s Gold examines a series of thematically-linked films - this time, we're taking a look at the films of Burt Lancaster, as we go From Here To Lancaster!

It's 1964 and Burt Lancaster takes the lead in an epic of the French Resistance trying to stop a train packed with art treasures from reaching the Third Reich. Massive action sequences in a age of practical effects and some challenging questions raised. Never have railway timetables been so exciting. The Legend of Crombie‘s Gold examines a series of thematically-linked films - this time, we're taking a look at the films of Burt Lancaster, as we go From Here To Lancaster!

It's 1957 and this film noir looks at the vice-ridden underworld of New York's society gossip columnists (yes, really). Tony Curtis plays against type as the amoral press agent, but it's the terrifying menace of J.J. Hunsecker, played by Burt Lancaster, that makes it the opening film in our series. The Legend of Crombie‘s Gold examines a series of thematically-linked films - this time, we're taking a look at the films of Burt Lancaster, as we go From Here To Lancaster!

It's 1964 (or is it?) and James Garner stars in a World War II thriller about a captured American officer, Major Pike, and a very unusual method of interrogation to learn of the D-Day landings. A high-concept movie from the start, based on a Roald Dahl short story. It won't be long before you're shouting 'Don't tell him, Pike!'

With the speed of a V8 Interceptor Pursuit Special, we return for another Very Special Crombies. This time, we take a look at Furiosa, the latest instalment in George Miller's Mad Max 'Wasteland' oeuvre, starring Anya Taylor-Joy and Chris Hemsworth.