Archers of Horror

We return with our most shocking episode EVER! News will be revealed, bank accounts will be destroyed, Sam Raimi's SPIDER-MAN 2 will be occasionally mentioned! If you've been listening all along you won't wanna miss this episode! 

We're back with the cult favorite 1987 fight film THREE O'CLOCK HIGH. Director Phil Joanou, all but forgotten today, was the hottest name of the mid-80s, he was supposed to be the next Spielberg! We talk about how that all went wrong when he defied Spielberg with the (great!) direction he took this film. We also talk about classic topics like Ed's humiliating interactions with contractors, Rusty's baby bribery, and embarrassing high school experiences.

We're doing a deep dive into this obscure 80s comedy, recently restored by Vinegar Syndrome. Can a film with Eddie Deezen getting top billing ever disappoint?! Is this the secret classic Rusty's been looking for? Has Ed pissed his pants since our last recording, whenever that was?! As always please rate and review and follow @80stimeportal on instagram

School's out for the weekend, and for summer, and FOREVER! We disagree heartily on the greatness of the Carl Reiner cable classic SUMMER SCHOOL. How does Rusty's 27 pages of notes stack up against Ed's similarly volumnious research?! Why did they spend so much time researching this dreck?! Is there any details about the actors' lives they DIDN'T mention!? We go deep this week in our desperate quest for 100 episodes...we'll get there someday...

We return with a discussion of the 1985 Kiwi sci-fi classic, THE QUIET EARTH. What would you do in this situation? How quickly until you devolved into complete madness? How many stories about plumbers will Rusty tell this week? All this and more on episode 62 of Viewmasters!

Wow! Do you remember this podcast? Well, it's back, and we are talking about NEW YORK NINJA (1984/2021). What did we think of Vinegar Syndrome's unique experiment? Why are the streets so full of rage? Do we still remember how to podcast?! All this and more as Rusty returns to tell us where he's been and what's happened to us so far in 2022. 

RUSTY IS MISSING! We are joined by our childhood friend and author Daniel Maunz (Questions of Perspective) to ponder the mystery of where Rusty has been. The long delay in episodes is due to the very, very real and not a joke disappearance of Rusty (who is feared DEAD!) Speaking of death, it's time to delve into the only Mortal Kombat movie that matters, the 1995 masterpiece by not THAT Paul Anderson. We discuss the arcade game, our own MK films, and the enduring legacy of this very confusing series. If anyone has seen or heard from Rusty please contact the authorities. 

Do you remember when Megatron boarded that shuttle and wasted all that autobot slime? Or when Unicron ate that planet of annoying looking robots? Today we are talking about the only Transformers movie that matters -- the animated film from 1986! Featuring a cast with more stars than in the skies above Cybertron and more deaths than we have here on Earth, this film served as the dividing line of the first Transformers era. We discuss it all today so please rate and review. 

Film writer/historian Lee Gambin returns to tell us all about the history of the very special sitcom episode! We count down 5 of the wildest episodes as Lee explains the social and historical history behind these educational, wild, and controversial departures from the typical television sitcom plot. His new two volume book "Tonight, on a Very Special Episode" features essays from Lee and a group of super-talented writers on the most notable examples of this genre from 1956 - 1998. Pick it up wherever! It's GREAT! (And I have a lot of film/tv books)

For our first episode of the new year, we talk for over 3 hours about the classic film THE KARATE KID. Not only is this our longest episode ever-- it is also our cleanest! This episode was requested by Ed's nieces, who recently discovered the film and loved it. As a result, all curses have been bleeped. Yep this is fun for the whole family. Yet it somehow ends up much weirder than any other episode? Perhaps we were driven mad by trying to be clean? Unfortunately our next episode is on VOYAGE OF THE ROCK ALIENS.

It's Christmas at the Playhouse and Pee Wee's newest friends, Ed and Rusty, drop by and share their thoughts on all things Chairry, Conky, Pterri and the Del Rubio Triplets?  On this episode, we share our own Christmas memories, Ed tells the story of when his dad went toe-to-toe with the New York Jets in a game of no holds barred charity basketball and we get a very special visit from our old pal Skeletor. Please make our Christmas wish come true by filling our stockings with some ratings and reviews.      

Ed had an ALLIGATOR poster as a child, but does he still love the film? Join us in our 56th episode for an exploration of the Lewis Teague-John Sayles classic, as well as a lot of xmas talk (even though this couldn't be less of a xmas movie). We talk the animal attacks genre and speculate a lot about if our friend Lee Gambin likes this film. We also weigh the plusses and minuses of having an alligator as a pet. And in a film with a ton of balding jokes you know we find a lot to talk about!

Why travel this Thanksgiving, endangering yourself and others, when you could instead safely implant the memories of dry turkey, tense political conversations, and struggling to turn off the motion flow setting on your relative's TV?! On this epic episode we revisit one of our favorite films, the peak of peak Arnold: TOTAL RECALL! Do we have 5 kids to feed?! Will we get our ass to Mars?! Find out all this and more on what we realize is our first episode of November but look-- it's jumbo sized. Which is what I'll be after I eat this full thanksgiving dinner by myself!

The box art for DEMON WIND (1990) is iconic. We have fond memories of admiring it in the video stores of our youth. But is the movie any good? We wanted to choose a less obvious title for right before Halloween, and we wanted something sort of corny, like HELLGATE or DOOM ASYLUM. Did we choose correctly, or will we regret this film for the rest of our lives? Also, Ed says a lot of insane stuff on the podcast lately-- how does this impact his dating life? Strap in for another classic episode about a less than classic film. 

Could a movie as recent as 2015 be considered iconic? We argue that IT FOLLOWS can, as we break down the sex follower masterpiece during our October horror month. We ask all the annoying logistical questions everyone does, while Ed comes up with the ultimate loophole. David Robert Mitchell is just one of the many people who should never listen to this episode. But YOU should! Please rate and review, and join us next week (ish) for DEMON WIND (1990)! 

After a summer spent watching Buffy/Angel and frequently mentioning it on this podcast, it's time to revisit the film that started it all: the movie version with actress turned political scientist Kristy Swanson! This early 90s gem plunges us into all kinds of despair about getting older as we contemplate why Joss Whedon hates this likable film so much and gush about Luke Perry's charm (RIP) and Rutger Hauer's unfortunately boring character (Also RIP!!) Please RATE AND REVIEW! Next time: IT FOLLOWS

Let's do time warp again -- for the first time! Once again Ed is seeing a classic for the first time, as we dive into the 1975 cult classic that's one of Rusty's favorite films. He'll guide Ed through Transylvania, discussing along the way his strange confidence in facing athletes of the past, Ed's horrible dating life and impending misadventure of adopting 5 kittens, QAnon, California fires, raising a baby, and childhood sexual confusion. So basically a normal episode. Tune in next time for BUFFY THE VAMPIRE SLAYER (1992)

For our historic 50th episode, what could we choose except the film which cleaved our lives in half? On one side, we were young. We were Star Wars fanatics, excited for whatever George cooked up. On the other side, we were the bitter, doomed individuals we are today. Of course Phantom Menace reviews have been done to death, so this isn't that at all-- it's an autobiographical journey through the hype before this film and the despair afterward. I mean basically like every other episode! We know this one took a while and we will get the next one out sooner (do I say that every time?)

Well, it's finally here. Ed has seen Pee Wee for the first time in his life and he's here to explain all of the references he finally gets. We talk quarantine life, the production history behind this film, and of course so many far too revealing digressions about our life. Please rate and review the show and we'll get episode 50 in July we promise!! As always the cover of the BLOOD RAGE theme is by Matt Akers. He is amazing check out all of his work! 

When we recorded this two weeks ago, the world was a much different place. This seems frivolous to post now, but maybe it can bring you some entertainment in a horrible time. In this epic episode, with a length I don't think we've hit since VAMP, we tackle the cursed film GHOULIES, which is NOT a GREMLINS rip-off! We talk about the making of the film, Rusty's new baby, Ed's imaginary entourage, apples thrown out windows, and much more. This is probably our best episode in a long time, even if I never want to watch this film ever again!

Lee Gambin is the author of many great books about horror and cinema in general, including Nope, Nothing Wrong Here: The Making of Cujo, Studies in the Horror Film: The Howling, Hell Hath No Fury Like Her: The Making of Christine, We Can Be Who We Are: Movie Musicals from the '70s and Massacred By Mother Nature: Exploring the Natural Horror Film. He's also just a great guy that I met in Australia last summer, and in this interview he demonstrates his encyclopedic knowledge of film. Seriously-- Lee is UNREAL! I've read his books about Cujo, The Howling, and Christine and they are the definitive making of books of those films. Just so good to talk to him. This isn't a normal episode but I hope you all enjoy it! 

Continuing to put up some old episodes as Rusty contends with a newborn, I came across this episode about Diff'rent Strokes - The Peacemaker and I really like it! Never has a gun at school been treated so casually! Featuring the screen debut of Andrew Dice Clay, this episode is filled with amazing moments and plunges us into a discussion about 80s standup and how much we hated Sam Kinison (plz rate and review anyway, sam). We'll be back with normal episodes or guest episodes soon.

On this episode we visit one of the most classic episodes of The Wonder Years -- "Goodbye"! Yep, this is the one where Kevin's teacher DIES! Lessons will be learned, math will be taught, and Kevin will have at least 3 audience alienating freakouts. We're going to be back with regular Viewmasters soon once Rusty recovers from giving birth. 

I'd been sitting on this episode for a minute when I heard it was Charlotte Rae's birthday. Wow! You should have seen me scramble out of my seat to honor this amazing day! On this episode Mrs. Garrett teaches the girls about a topic all too relevant today-- fanaticism. Tootie is determined to go to the Jermaine Jackson concert -- by any means necessary! This was a great time by all. Well, by Ed. No one else enjoyed this episode. 

“This is the future.  The world as we know it is gone.”  Harrowing words from the opening sequence in this week’s episode TURBO KID.  We recorded this episode a couple weeks ago and the world has changed a lot since then.  What has remained the same is our love for Apple...and Ed’s hopeless quest to someday building a similar companion to travel the wastelands of L.A with.  On this episode, we attempt to discuss  Zeus, the weird Mola Ram character, the Aussie Indiana Jones and of course, Skeletron but manage to get sidetracked with more of Ed’s antics.  Also, we our joined by a new Ed creation -- Turtle Kid.  Let’s hope he’s here to stay. As always, please rate and review.  Stay safe everyone!

We are coming back at you with the great 2nd season Alf episode "Night Train". Finally one of our sitcom adventures results in a good viewing experience! What makes this visitor from Melmac stand out from the rest of the dreck? Join Ed, Rusty, and Po to find out! And please rate and review or we will eat a cat.

Yes, WE return with BATMAN RETURNS! Very sorry for our uneven schedule but this is an EPIC episode! We examine not just Batman Returns but also every Batman movie with noted Batman expert Larry Schultz. This is the interview you've been waiting for, with rankings guaranteed to shock the world and divide DC Universe fans. We also delve into Ed's many similarities to the penguin, Rusty's 1989 Batmania, and our history with comic books. Matt Akers Blood Rage theme back again! Check out his great work! 

The tree is trimmed, the presents are all wrapped and the eggnog is ready to be served. That’s right, it’s another holiday installment and we’re delivering an episode longer that our JC Penney catalog wish list. This year we’ll be discussing one of our “top five” holiday films --  JINGLE ALL THE WAY.  Santa’s sleigh is packed and ready to deliver more tales from Ed’s karate dojo, our worst Christmas gifts ever and many other ridiculous stories that would even make Yukon Cornelius blush. Ed also lays a holiday smackdown on one of our childhood friends. This episode should actually be titled JINGLE ALL THE WAY OFF TOPIC.  Please remember to rate and review...it’s the holiday season, you filthy animals!

We've returned to deliver an epic episode about one of the most formative films of Ed's life-- Ralph Bakshi's much-hated adaptation of THE LORD OF THE RINGS. If he thinks it's pretty horrible, why does Ed love it so much? Why is so much crammed into so little? Why is Boromir a viking? What exactly did Peter Jackson borrow from this? How many of these questions will I ask? Tune in for one of our longest episodes in quite some time. But don't worry-- we've improved since we used to do episodes this long about VAMP!

It's Halloween and what better way to celebrate than to conjure up some 300 year-old Salem witches. The cauldron is bubbling and our spell book is opened to our favorite page because we're discussing the 1993 children's Halloween classic -- HOCUS POCUS.  We desecrated hallowed ground on this one as Ed shares a tale of his first time coming into contact with the vhs tape, we give our thoughts on Max, the yabbo-loving anti hero and theorize about if Binx would've lived on as a cat in the Dennison household. Truly scary stuff! Please be sure to rate and review...or even just tell a friend.  Follow us on Instagram @Viewmasterspod. 

We're going way back, further into the past than we ever have before, all the way to 1966 to talk the animated classic IT'S THE GREAT PUMPKIN, CHARLIE BROWN! Just in time for Halloween comes the tale of a deranged boy named Linus trying to inflict his fringe views on his loved ones. Do we even like this kid? Why does Charlie Brown get so many rocks? What did Ed do to his Charlie Brown underoos? Find out all this and more on the new episode, and please rate and review, ya blockhead! 

Submitted for the approval of the Midnight Society, we call this tale The Endless Banter of the "30 Minutes or Less" Crew.  Come join us around the campfire to discuss one of the most beloved episodes of ARE YOU AFRAID OF THE DARK? -- The Tale of the Dead's Man's Float.  Also, one of the few episodes to actually feature a malicious spirit. On today's episode, we discuss what this Canadian Snick classic meant to us, what it takes to be a member of the Midnight Society and EddieD shares his own ghastly tale.  Does he have what it takes to be a Midnight Society member?  Tune in to find out.  As always, please rate and review.  

We are returning from underground by going spelunking with Neil Marshall's classic tale of a caving expedition gone wrong. Who are the crawlers? What's that pool of blood for? Is this one of the few films where the fan theories are actually plausible and cool? Find out all this and more as we gear up for our all horror October. Please rate and review the show and tell a friend about it. Follow us on instagram  @Viewmasterspod. 

We're officially back from our hiatus and what better way to return than to discuss the 1980s teen comedy classic --JUST ONE OF THE GUYS! Ed was in Australia for this one fulfilling his dream of reenacting Crocodile Dundee. You should see his knife.  On this episode, Ed shares some stories from 'down under' and we also discuss having crushes on ALVIN AND THE CHIPMUNKS, Warren Beatty's sex life and how great it must've been to be bullied by William Zabka. We promise to be back on a regular schedule. Please rate and review the show and tell a friend about it. Follow us on instagram  @Viewmasterspod.

After watching the GROWING PAINS episode titled "Second Chance" we have to ask ourselves if Matthew Perry would've gotten a second chance on the show had the writers known that he would go on to become a huge star.  This episode was a rollercoaster ride of emotions and what better way to approach it than to make jokes about Tracey Gold's thick Long Island accent and Po's childhood imaginary friendship with Kirk Cameron. We also discuss the classic GROWING PAINS theme song and try to figure out if Alan Thicke was somehow involved with creating it.  As always, rate and review this show. 

On our epic 40th episode we revisit the Ron Howard/George Lucas classic -- WILLOW! We talk about what it was like to be kids when this came out, the horrible toys (but great NES game) it produced, the origins of how it all came together, why the Brownies are so annoying and how many people in the cast are wearing wigs. We also explore pressing issues like what exactly is the life cycle of trolls? And how pissed was Kenny Baker when he didn't get the lead role? Please rate and review the show and tell a friend about it. Follow us on instagram  @Viewmasterspod. 

It's time to tackle "Cherie Lifesaver", the most famous episode of Punky Brewster-- the one where Cherie gets locked in the fridge! Join us as we discuss the realities of dying inside a refrigerator, why Punky's dog had such an odd name and how the Punky theme song stacks up compared to the rest of the 80s classics. This is probably the best sitcom episode yet so please brace yourselves. Oh and rate and review the show. 

We shouldn’t have buried him because Freddy Mania is not dead. This episode we’re sharpening our finger knives, popping on the Ray Bans and hitting the beach to discuss A NIGHTMARE ON ELM STREET 4: THE DREAM MASTER.  Is this movie the best of the series?  With a writer’s strike and absent script, Renny Harlin manages to deliver a charismatic, lovable Freddy Krueger with a No Pain No Gain attitude.  We’re riding those waterbed waves high, eating a Rick meatball or two and hopefully becoming one of the souls of his children.  Even if you’re not a Fred Head, this episode guarantees to deliver with tales of Ed’s pet dolphin, sauna shenanigans and a new direction for TOY STORY 5. We’ll see you in hell...and yes, Freddy will be sending us.

Welcome back to the second episode of 30 Minutes or Less where we are facing an absolute classic of our childhood, unfortunately at the beginning of its final season. Does Evie and her motley assortment of friends and family have any time-stopping miracles for us in store or are they all out of tricks? Find out as Rusty, Ed and Po watch the season 4 premiere "New Kid on the Block" guest-starring Mr. T. Yes you read that right, Mr. T was in an episode of "Out of This World"! And don't worry, we play the opening theme quite a bit (which I didn't discover until now is a classic song which Sinatra also recorded?)

Now you're playing with power. T-U-R-T-L-E POWER! We're joined this week by BEYOND THE GATES director Jackson Stewart to talk one of the best comic book movies ever made: TEENAGE MUTANT NINJA TURTLES (1990). I'm not sure that we've ever been as united in our praise for a film as we are with this one, although I'm not sure what that says about us. Along the way we talk about a wide range of turtle topics, like the comics, the cartoon, video games, and all other matters reptilian (yet for some reason always referred to as amphibians?) If you are a TMNT fan, you MUST check this episode out. And if you aren't a TMNT fan, you are no friend of ours, Shred Head! 

Welcome to the first episode of our oft-mentioned sitcom show! Every other week we'll be joined by Po to dissect the television shows of our youth and burn our nostalgia to the ground. We're starting off with an infamous heavy hitter, the Small Wonder episode "Woodward and Bernstein". I think this one is a little more famous than some of our episodes to come because of its shockingly dark plotline. Experience it with us! Next week we'll be talking TEENAGE MUTANT NINJA TURTLES (1990) with Jackson Stewart (BEYOND THE GATES) and the week after that we'll be back with an "Out of this World" episode.

The show is now officially called VIEWMASTERS (formerly known as Archers of Horror) and with our first episode we’re going big by venturing into the netherworld and discussing the 1991 horror comedy film HIGHWAY TO HELL. Hell Cop’s “hand” cuffs won’t be able to restrain us as we attempt to get Kristy Swanson to fav our tweet, try to figure out how exactly to pronounce “DAGOBAH” and if Torrential Snowfall is an acceptable term. Don’t miss this one or BEEZLE claims our souls! Blood Rage Theme cover by Matt Akers as always. Check out his Bandcamp! Our new show about Sitcoms will be debuting on Monday, June 10th. Look for it!

ALERT: Starting with the next episode this podcast will start appearing in your feed as VIEWMASTERS! If you are already subscribed then you don't need to do anything except remember we've moved. With that out of the way, it's time to discuss LADY SNOWBLOOD, Toshiya Fujita's stylish adaptation of Kazuo Koike's classic manga with an unforgettable central performance by Meiko Kaji. Blood Rage Theme cover by Matt Akers as always. It rules. Check out his bandcamp! Our new show about sitcoms will be appearing on off weeks and starts next week. 

It was the Summer of 1987, Alf was coming into prominence, Michael Jackson showed us who’s “Bad” and PREDATOR was all the rage.  It was every kids dream to be Arnold Schwarzenegger or at least do a spot-on impression.  This episode promises to deliver on one of those.  We also tackle all the important questions: Did the Predator have advanced language? Does the Predator have a bidet attachment on his Sat-com? and Can Ed go 20 seconds with Mike Tyson in his prime? Ed also reveals the harrowing details of his most recent date.  How did it go, you ask? Let’s just say he has Nazareth’s “Love Hurts” on heavy rotation.  Opening theme song by Matt Akers. Seriously, check out his Bandcamp! Someone please rate and review this show already -- Yes, we’re still asking.  And be sure to follow us on Instagram @archersofhorrorpodcast   

People always ask us: which episode of Archers of Horror should I listen to first? Well, here is our new answer, because this episode truly has it all: irrelevant stories, catholic guilt, childhood humiliations and oh yeah we also discuss the best horror film ever made, ROSEMARY'S BABY. And hey it's us talking here so of course we are going to say this, but this is truly a classic episode. Much closer to THE MUTILATOR than to LIFEFORCE (new listeners please know we don't consider that episode canon). Please rate and review, or at least rate, or are you going to make us give away our firstborn child before you do that? Theme song as always by Matt Akers. If you don't follow us on Instagram @archersofhorrorpodcast I cannot imagine why you are reading this far into the description but check it out. 

On this episode, we’re celebrating the holiday of practical jokes and hoaxes by watching the eponymous 1986 Fred Walton horror-comedy classic APRIL FOOL’S DAY -- and what better way for Muffy/Buffy to celebrate her birthday than to scare the crap out of her closest friends. Will Muffy’s friends forgive her? Are the fortuitous events of this film highly improbable? Does a person really react that way to having their throat slashed by a phony knife? We don’t answer any these questions but we do share some of our own hilarious April Fool’s Day anecdotes.  As always the great BLOOD RAGE theme cover is by Matt Akers. Check out his Bandcamp. Someone rate and review the show. At this point, Ed is really looking for any excuse to shave his head.  Follow us on Instagram @archersofhorrorpodcast. Pretty much the only social media we still care about.

For our belated St. Patricks Day episode, we are going on a very bleak journey to the cosmos. It's LEPRECHAUN 4: IN SPACE, a movie we never thought we would do and we're still not sure why. Why is he even in space? Is he an alien, or a leprechaun? Why do they blend the already blended DNA in that one scene? As always the great BLOOD RAGE theme cover is by Matt Akers. Check out his bandcamp. We need 5 ratings for Ed to shave his head by next episode. Someone please help. Follow us on Instagram @archersofhorrorpodcast. 

Why has it taken Archers of Horror 31 episodes to discuss the horror-comedy classic THE RETURN OF THE LIVING DEAD? There are many answers to that but the most convincing one is that Ed’s a bit self-conscious having the same haircut as TARMAN. On this episode we’ll be discussing everyone’s favorite undead characters -- Tarman, the Reanimated Cadaver and of course, Party-Time Skeleton. We also discuss our crush on Trash, how we would want to die and how Ed once stepped in a deceased person’s ashes and so much more. As always the great BLOOD RAGE theme cover is by Matt Akers. Check out his bandcamp. Someone rate and review the show. Just one of you. Follow us on Instagram @archersofhorrorpodcast. Pretty much the only social media we still care about.

For our 30th episode, we take a look at Rospo Pallenberg’s CUTTING CLASS which would be his only directorial feature. But more importantly, is this the episode where Rusty finally breaks Ed? How many more bad movies can Ed endure?  We also talk cutting actual class, Valentine’s Day binge eating and climbing the rope in gym class.  As always the great BLOOD RAGE theme cover is by Matt Akers. Check out his bandcamp. Someone rate and review the show. Just one of you. Follow us on Instagram @archersofhorrorpodcast. Pretty much the only social media we still care about.