Butterflies and Bravery

Send us a textIt's been a busy couple months and a rough couple weeks, to say the least. Join Whisper and Jemima as we catch you up on where we've been and what we've been up to. We also talk about the election results from the perspective of born-in cult survivors, what that means, and dealing with the triggers that come with it. Later we read some fantastic tips for dealing with triggers from Beth Matenaer, a therapist and cult Survivor.  www.bethmatenaer.comSupport the showSupport The Show: https://paypal.me/bnbdonations?country.x=US&locale.x=en_USVisit our WebsiteFollow us:InstagramFacebookTwitter

Send us a Text Message.The first in a series based on our ICSA presentation of some of the barriers faced by born in cult survivors and the struggles unique to us. In this episode we cover the ACE (Adverse Childhood Experiences) questionnaire and some of the ways it may relate to second or multi-generation survivors of cultic or high control groups. Plus some things that we can do to reverse the damage done.Support the Show.Support The Show: https://paypal.me/bnbdonations?country.x=US&locale.x=en_USVisit our WebsiteFollow us:InstagramFacebookTwitter

Send us a Text Message.A little recap of our trip to Barcelona to speak at the International Cultic Studies Association yearly conference. Complete with sideline stories and daisy picking.Support the Show.Support The Show: https://paypal.me/bnbdonations?country.x=US&locale.x=en_USVisit our WebsiteFollow us:InstagramFacebookTwitter

Send us a Text Message.Whisper and Jemima are on their way to present at ICSA 2024. Our panel consisting of a psychologist from Australia and your Butterflies and Bravery crew is speaking at the International Cultic Studies Association yearly conference. Listen as we share a little sneak peek of our presentation.Support the Show.Support The Show: https://paypal.me/bnbdonations?country.x=US&locale.x=en_USVisit our WebsiteFollow us:InstagramFacebookTwitter

Joined by the hosts of Sexvangelicals podcast, Julia Postema and Jeremiah Gibson who are both sex and couples therapists. They both grew up in religious communities with strictly controlled sexual beliefs. Our conversation covers topics like, sexual health and relational health and how much they affect each other, forced vulnerability,  perceived injury, helpful books and so much more.  Support the showSupport The Show: https://paypal.me/bnbdonations?country.x=US&locale.x=en_USVisit our WebsiteFollow us:InstagramFacebookTwitter

It was all about control. What was sexually perverted according to the Children of God cult? Whisper reads some passages from Lauren Hough's New York Times Bestseller, Leaving Isn't the Hardest Thing. Some very candid conversations about sex, bonded choice, and why maybe some of us are just now figuring out our sexuality ensue. Visit our Threadless shop and pick up some swag. All proceeds go to help fund our trip to Spain to speak at the International Cultic Studies Association yearly conference. Thank you for your continued support, we appreciate each and every one of you.https://butterfliesandbravery.threadless.com/Support the showSupport The Show: https://paypal.me/bnbdonations?country.x=US&locale.x=en_USVisit our WebsiteFollow us:InstagramFacebookTwitter

Meet Em Thomas. Dog trainer, cult survivor and conversationalist extraordinaire. Listen as Em talks with Jemima and Whisper about some difficult but relatable topics. We discuss bodily autonomy, how cults used sex to control and so much more. Plus we announce the opening of our Threadless shop and exciting news for this summer.Support the showSupport The Show: https://paypal.me/bnbdonations?country.x=US&locale.x=en_USVisit our WebsiteFollow us:InstagramFacebookTwitter

Butterflies and Bravery first episode of the year with some statistics from 2023 as well as our usual banter, laughter and tears. A talk about the benefits of support groups as well as several other daisies that we pick along the way. Thank you all for listening!Support the showSupport The Show: https://paypal.me/bnbdonations?country.x=US&locale.x=en_USVisit our WebsiteFollow us:InstagramFacebookTwitter

The Burapa swallow is one of the few birds in the world that builds its nest out of its own saliva.  A self designed refuge.  As survivors, we are that refuge for each other. Join us as we catch up with each other, Whisper explains what a ladder puller is and we talk about imposter syndrome.Support the showSupport The Show: https://paypal.me/bnbdonations?country.x=US&locale.x=en_USVisit our WebsiteFollow us:InstagramFacebookTwitter

In spite of being the granddaughter of the infamous cult leader, David Berg, Faith Jones managed to escape the clutches of the sex cult she was born into and found healing and success as a lawyer, activist, entrepreneur, and business advisor. In this episode, Jemima and Whisper speak with Faith Jones, author of the acclaimed memoir, “Sex Cult Nun.” Like the hosts, Faith was born and raised in the Children of God cult, founded by her own grandfather. Against all odds, Faith fought her way out, found healing, success, and a full life. Join us as we discuss how not to fall prey to cults, financial literacy and much more.https://faithjones.com/https://www.sexcultnun.com/https://www.instagram.com/iamfaithjones/https://www.facebook.com/iamfaithjones/Support the showSupport The Show: https://paypal.me/bnbdonations?country.x=US&locale.x=en_USVisit our WebsiteFollow us:InstagramFacebookTwitter

Tabitha Chapman is not only  a survivor of NXIVM and the founder of International Cult Awareness Month, she is a therapist, founder of Freedom Train Project and much more. Raised in Assemblies of God, Tabitha lived in socially acceptable abusive environments as a child. Last year she founded International Cult Awareness Month in August, amidst a great personal loss.  Deep insights into childhood trauma and victim mentality, how children create predictability, enmeshment, what is reslience, why do we fe and so much more. Tabitha explains some incredibly interesting topics and answers questions like, why do we feel empty? What is resilience? Is a victim mentality really a thing? And many more. We hope you enjoy this deep and beautiful conversation, and that you find it as enlightening as we did. Check out some of Tabitha's projects and join us in the journey of raising cult awareness.The Freedom Train Project (helps provide referrals to services to support stabilization to ensure safety as an utmost priority)www.thefreedomtrainproject.orgInternational Cult Awareness Monthwww.internationalcultawareness.orgSupport the showSupport The Show: https://paypal.me/bnbdonations?country.x=US&locale.x=en_USVisit our WebsiteFollow us:InstagramFacebookTwitter

If you've seen the epic films American Psycho,  Chasing Amy or Dogma, you'll probably recognize    our amazing guest, Guinevere Turner. Guinevere has written, starred in, and/or directed 34 films to date! Now Guinevere has written a book, When the World Didn't End. In her book, she details some of her experiences growing up in the Lyman family cult. Join us for a great discussion on Guinevere's life, her book, finding life after  escape,  and various other culty topics.The audio isn't stellar as our usual recording program wasn't operable, but I think you'll find the conversation worth listening to. Buy her book athttps://www.penguinrandomhouse.com/books/651933/when-the-world-didnt-end-by-guinevere-turner/Or help support your local bookstore by asking them to order it for youSupport the showSupport The Show: https://paypal.me/bnbdonations?country.x=US&locale.x=en_USVisit our WebsiteFollow us:InstagramFacebookTwitter

In this episode, Whisper and Jemima recap their tripto Louisville, Kentucky to attend theICSA (International Cultic Studies Association) Conference. Thanks to the generosity of ourlisteners, not only did they learn awhole heckin' lot, but theymade `amazing connections, plans for advocacywork with incredible people, they also had a tonof fun, went on aboat, went underthe troll bridge,and much more!Oh, and they sort of learned how to pronounce Louisville. (Trust, it's a thing.)Support the showSupport The Show: https://paypal.me/bnbdonations?country.x=US&locale.x=en_USVisit our WebsiteFollow us:InstagramFacebookTwitter

The human brain seeks and recognizes patterns in our every day lives. Part of our survival instincts drive our brains to automatically see the negative patterns. Learning to recognize the beauty in every day life is starting to be recognized as a way to stimulate the polyvagal system, and it helps our brains to begin seeking the positive on a regular basis. Whisper and Jemima talk about polyvagal theory and the benefits of looking for the glimmers, the things that make your heart smile. Plus a few side stories and customary silliness. Support the showSupport The Show: https://paypal.me/bnbdonations?country.x=US&locale.x=en_USVisit our WebsiteFollow us:InstagramFacebookTwitter

Jo Lloyd Johnson's daughter changed everything, the moment their eyes met, Jo knew that she would be responsible for introducing the world to her child. What will she do if her world is not the world she wants for her child? “I spent most of my life trying to earn worth. But when I became a mother, I could not look at my child as I looked at myself. She was perfect. She was worthy. Slowly, she changed my black and white world into a world of vibrant colors.  Silenced in Eden is my journey into a new world, my faith deconstruction and journey to healing.” -- Jo Lloyd JohnsonThis Mother's day, we remember and celebrate the strength and bravery of a mother's journey many of us know intimately: escaping a cult and breaking generational abuse, a mother's journey to set herself and her children free. Purchase "Silenced in Eden" here: https://www.amazon.com/Silenced-Eden-Jo-Lloyd-Johnson/dp/B0BV4GMV1M/ref=tmm_pap_swatch_0?_encoding=UTF8&qid=&sr=Support the showSupport The Show: https://paypal.me/bnbdonations?country.x=US&locale.x=en_USVisit our WebsiteFollow us:InstagramFacebookTwitter

Health issues are becoming more common as the born-into-a-cult groups get older, and many of us struggle to know how to approach self care after being raised like robot soldiers with zero regard for our selves. In this episode Whisper and Jemima talk about the importance of listening to our bodies and asking for help before it's too late, and how hiding the trauma in our brains could cause the same effect in our bodies. Support the showSupport The Show: https://paypal.me/bnbdonations?country.x=US&locale.x=en_USVisit our WebsiteFollow us:InstagramFacebookTwitter

We're checking in with the newest member of the bionic knee club and just three days out of knee replacement surgery Jemima brings us hospital stories, inspiration, laughs and a little "slam" poetry. This episode is sure to make you smile. Which is good, because our last episode probably didn't.Support the showSupport The Show: https://paypal.me/bnbdonations?country.x=US&locale.x=en_USVisit our WebsiteFollow us:InstagramFacebookTwitter

TRIGGER WARNING FOR THIS EPISODE: SA, CA, and victim blamingWe're bringing the "Cult Cringe" again..... In this episode Whisper and Jemima read another publication that was required reading for all Children of God cult members, titled "Flirty Little Teens Beware". This publication was directed at us, the children, and places the blame on us preteens and teenagers for those poor Christian men falling into the trap of lusting after a child. We do our best to process and file away the bullshit that we grew up with, continuing our quest for the freedom of our hearts and minds. Support the showSupport The Show: https://paypal.me/bnbdonations?country.x=US&locale.x=en_USVisit our WebsiteFollow us:InstagramFacebookTwitter

In this episode, we hear Sara Durham's story, from being born into a cult and raised under the crushing weight of extreme beliefs, through the cult imploding, beginning her healing journey and the work of “undoing”, to the beautiful place she is today. With encouragement, wit, and profound insights, Sara will cheer you on to believe in your own awesomeness too!   "I'm at a place where I look in the mirror and…I love who stares back at me in the mirror and I don't feel like I'm broken anymore. "  --Sara DurhamHelp us represent at ICSA:https://gofund.me/e9c760d1Support the showVisit our WebsiteFollow us:InstagramFacebookTwitter

"None of us are safe until all of us are safe." -A bold and true statement from this episode's guest, Monique Ana.Creating spaces where Survivors can experience different healing modalities is the mission at Victory Garden Sanctuary.  Born and raised in the same Children of God cult, Monique is now putting everything she has into making a safe space where survivors of human trafficking, labor trafficking and cult trafficking can find needed respite, regain connection with their deeper selves, and experience the healing power of nature all in one place. www.victorygardensanctuary.orgHeal Your Story ~ Find Your Magick by Monique Ana: https://youtu.be/BFXpSuN-bzsSupport the showVisit our WebsiteFollow us:InstagramFacebookTwitter

Did you know that March was chosen as Women's History Month because it's the only month that came with instructions? (No, it's a mom joke.) For our first podcast of the month, we're keeping it on the lighter side of things so that we can continue recovering from last week's podcast.  We chat about AI, diamond art and what's up ahead for this month, including the launch of our first EX-COG second and third generation chat group.Yes, we definitely should have had a few notes on what we were gonna talk about. Support the showVisit our WebsiteFollow us:InstagramFacebookTwitter

In this episode, Whisper and Jemima read one of the most heinous publications the Children of God cult put out. A missive published in November of 1986 that was so despicable, cult members were told to burn it immediately after reading it. Plus, we've got some exciting news! Please listen with caution. This was not by any means easy to read, and we can only imagine that it will be difficult to hear. But one thing for sure, they can't say they didn't know. Reach out if you need support. www.lalichcenter.org (If you want to know why this link is here, listen to the podcast to find out Jemima and Whisper's exciting news!)Support the show

An astounding Polaris Project study on needs of survivors of human trafficking had us asking if adults who were born into cults and those who were trafficked have similar needs. Join Whisper and her trusty sidekick Jemima as they discuss the study, Adverse Childhood Experiences (ACEs) and the stigma surrounding "big stories". You know, the ones that make the room go quiet.Support the show

Hello, February!With jokes and laughs and cries we weave our way through a talk about human trafficking, survivor resources, exciting things going on in the ex-born in a cult arena, “Heaven's girl”, and why it's an accomplishment to stick around for the brighter tomorrows we never thought would come.Plus, a surprise visit from a new pet!Links to the "Heaven's Girl" publications here: https://www.xfamily.org/index.php/Heaven%27s_GirlSupport the show

Our conversation with cult survivor Angela led us down several paths. Angela describes her experience in the Children of God as, "I didn't really have thoughts about did I or did I not believe, it just was." During our chat together we address things that many of us struggle with like body positivity issues, listening to our bodies and knowing when to stop, belonging, etc. Angela's story about finding a therapist, might be one of the most shocking you've ever heard....Support the show:https://paypal.me/butterfliesandbraverSupport the show

Welcome 2023! In our first episode of the year we share some stats from last year, talk about things we've learned and tell some stories too. We hope you enjoy this episode and we're glad you're here to live another day. Support the show

We had the privilege of being guests on another podcast, Critical and Thinking with Ty Barnett and Ian Harris. Join us as we chat more in depth about some of the topics covered, and a few other tangents. Butterflies and Bravery wishes you all a happy Thanksgiving week. This time of year can be difficult for many of us, so we hope you find a way to enjoy your time and create traditions that are meaningful to you and your loved ones. Whether it's your birth family or chosen family, we wish you all peace and joy.Support the show

Sometimes a whisper can be louder than a roar. Join us this week as we chat about what's been going on in our worlds. Jemima talks about a fall at work and what that might mean for her in the near future. Then Whisper tells us how she learned that humility can look very differently than we may think. We close this episode with Jemima's "The Ant Hill", inspired by Dr. Gabor Mate's latest book, The Myth Of Normal. Support the show

Attention Deficit Hacks, Building Back Better and Connections If it's living with CPTSD or living with ADHD, we need our little life hacks. Whisper found an ADHD helpline…tweet. It's a Twitter thread. In a shorter, light-hearted episode, we catch up with each other and talk about what's coming up for the podcast and remind ourselves about the things that are important for us and for the podcast. Support the show

Note to cult leaders: Maybe read the whole Bible verse before starting a new belief system?Jemima and Whisper talk a little about everything (again) in this episode, including the correlation--that Whisper doesn't pronounce correctly (again)--between Human Trafficking, Domestic Violence and cult life. Parenting, The Scarlet Pimpernel, telling our stories and why our parents won't apologize are just a few of the things talked about, all peppered with personal stories, candidness, and humor. If you need someone to talk to, schedule an appointment with us for our no charge listening service. https://calendly.com/butterfliesandbravery/here-to-listenSupport the show

Lisa Kendall, founder of Counter Cult Coalition,  joins us again to talk about the latest news with the federal statute of limitations being lifted on civil lawsuits relating to allegations of child sexual abuse and federal crimes harming children.Raising awareness about cults and the needs of those born into a cult is a mission we have in common. Being born into a cult means we don't have typical roots like most people.Instead, our roots are in each other. Support Counter Cult Coalition:CashApp:  $CounterCultVenmo:  @CounterCulthttps://www.facebook.com/countercultcoalition/ Support Butterflies and Bravery: Support the showSupport the show

SUBJECT WARNING: UNALIVING YOURSELFWhen we sat down together to talk about upcoming plans and new projects, our conversation quickly shifted, because it was the struggles that so many of our ex-cult community have been facing that sat heavy on our minds. We had to talk about what could be done to help our community not feel so alone. We see the needs that are clearly arising in our group to be not just heard, but really listened to and most of all, understood. And we want to listen. We know it's time to reach out to each other. It's time to loan each other our lanterns.  In whatever capacity we can, even if just a small one,  you can count on us to be a part of the solution, and of making spaces for us to heal and find hope. Always,  Whisper and JemimaSupport the show

After last weeks very somber episode, we thought it would be nice to do something a little lighter this week. Whisper and Jemima share stories about THC and other gummies, some funny sex stories and a whole lot more. We hope you laugh your ass off like we did!Support the show

SUBJECT WARNING-UNALIVING YOURSELFHaving been born prisoners of our parents war, an all too familiar tragedy we face in our communities is ongoing and constant suicides. Whisper and Jemima both share some of their personal experiences of having been to the darkest of places, the place where you want to cease to exist. We talk about some of the struggles loved ones face, how we can be more helpful to each other, and hope. Hope can keep you alive. Hope for brighter days ahead. “The bravest thing I ever did was continuing my life when I wanted to die.” – Juliette LewisSupport the show

Janice Selbie was born into fundamentalist Pentecostal Christianity. She was steeped in the church from birth. Eventually her need for authenticity, outweighed her need for acceptance. Today, a trained therapist, she aids others in their escape from the clutches of fundamentalist religion. She also recently hosted a conference on religious trauma available to the public on her youtube channel, In October she is hosting the first ever Shameless Sexuality, Life After Purity Culture conference. You can also hire her for one on one counselling to help with your religious deconstruction. Janice SelbieTwitter: @wisecounselor @divorcingreligionhttps://www.divorcing-religion.comhttps://www.shamelesssexuality.orgSupport the show

Beth Matenaer went from adopted to "a troubled teen" sent off into the mountains of California. Attempting escape, Beth hiked 50 miles to civilization in the middle of the night. Hear the rest of her story as we interview Beth, now a trained trauma therapist working with cult survivors and drug and alcohol addiction. Along with Dr. Janja Lalich, a renowned cult expert, they have constructed classes for those leaving cults and high coercion situations. Take Back Your Life Recovery Courseswww.tbylr.comLantana Recoveryhttps://www.lantanarecovery.comSupport the show

Growing up in a cult or a high control or coercive atmosphere can sometimes leave your inner child needing reparenting. What is reparenting anyhow? Tonight we talk about what that means for both of us, and remind ourselves that it can look different at all the stages of our journey, and how a little change in perspective can make huge differences along the way.  We're giving ourselves another of our strange little pep talks, so grab your inner child and come play with us!Support the show

In this episode, a t-shirt that read, "Life leads you down many paths, but my favorite one leads to the mountains" started off the conversation, and it did lead us down many paths. We start in Jamaica,  plus hear updates from  "Aunt Jemima's" life and some exciting possibilities coming her way.  Other paths included understanding others, living with the devastating  after effects of abuse and colonization, pronouns and parents.   We also talk about the resilience and perseverance that it takes to rebuild your life,  and how proud anyone who has done it should be. So, it did lead us to the mountains in the end. Support the show

We've all faced times in our lives when we get shaken, but sometimes we find ourselves facing times where it feels like nothing's letting up. And just like a soda bottle, that constant shaking is building pressure with each jolt. If we don't let some of that out in a controlled escape, things start to go boom.Whisper gets vulnerable again this week,as she talks about some recent personal shakings and what went boom. We talk about the Born In A Cult classes that we are currently taking with Dr. Janja Lalich and Beth Matenaer.  Whisper asks the question: Why call them coping skills? A lost leg can't be grown back. Let's call them "restructuring skills!"Born In A Cult classes:www.tbylr.comSupport the show

How do you fit a life like ours into a single chapter?  Whisper makes a run at doing just that with her chapter in "Dare to Express", a collaboration book coming out in September. A handful of amazing women were invited to write a chapter about their lives, and Whisper was one of them. Jemima and Whisper read this beautifully woven story of a little girl clinging to a lifeline found in the back seat of a car she should have never had to be in. Support the show

Amanda Moon Ellevis is a survivor of trafficking and sexual exploitation. Her heart for the exploited stems from her unique vulnerabilities as a young musician in the San Francisco Bay Area, as well as her experience being homeless. Now she's helping others through her newly released book, “Rebuild and Thrive” a guide to assist survivors of exploitation in their first steps toward physical, financial, and emotional independence. Join us as Amanda tells her amazing story of rescue, redemption, and reclamation. Book Signing for Rebuild and ThriveFriday, July 22nd at 2:00 PM at Barnes and Noble in Antioch, California.Support the Alabaster Jar Project:https://www.alabasterjarproject.org/Support the show

This week we have a short episode as Whisper and Jemima touch base to talk about their week and what's been happening in their corner of the world.   Whisper's little fur baby is having some health issues, and Jemima and Whisper talk more about taking care of the pets they've loved and lost.Support the show

In our first ever two-guest episode we talk with two of the founders of the COG-TFI Survivors movement. Their mission is to spread awareness and bring justice to the survivors of the extremist cult, the Children of God. To expose their crimes, and appeal to authorities to take action against COG-TFI leaders and abusers. We have a chance to ask some tough questions and talk about what justice means to us.Join us for for this international interview, then visit, follow and like their social media. Please sign the petition!  We are shooting for 7,500 and we're only 2,177 signatures away!https://www.change.org/p/bring-the-family-international-aka-the-children-of-god-and-karen-zerby-to-justicehttps://www.facebook.com/cogtfisurvivorshttps://www.instagram.com/cogtfisurvivorshttps://twitter.com/cogtfisurvivorsBorn Into the Children of God By Natacha Tormeyhttps://www.amazon.com/Born-into-Children-God-religious/dp/000756032XSupport the show

Sometimes we all need a little reminder that we've got this. In this episode, Whisper and Jemima share some affirmations that can give us that reminder. And in their signature fashion, throw in a little bit of everything as they wander around things off topic, catch up on their week and spend time laughing at themselves. So if you need a little break from your day, this episode is for you.1. I am worthy. Worthy of being loved and cared for. Worthy of the good that comes to me. Worthy of being able to express my feelings.2. I deserve to take up space. I don't need permission to exist.3. I am not my trauma. My dysfunctions are not a measurement of my true ability.4. I have the right to acknowledge my feelings without having to justify them.  I have a right to express all my feelings – positive or negative.5 Thinking suicidal thoughts doesn't mean I want to kill myself, it's means I am hurting and in need of care.6. I have a right to ask for what I want and I have the right to be happy.7. I have a right to change my mind.8. I have the right to say “no” to anything. If I am not ready, if it is unsafe, or if it conflicts with my values.9. I am not responsible for the actions, feelings, or behavior of others.10. I have the right to say, “I don't know.”11. I have the right to have my wants and needs respected by others.12. I have the right to be treated with dignity and respect.Support the show

"Grief does not change you. It reveals you.” -- John GreenGrief and loss are things that we all face at some point in our life. But when losses come one after another, we can end up in grief overload. Melissa found herself facing this, having lost her mother and two brothers in a short period of time. But where many might have crumbled, Melissa found the strength to not only hold the many facets of her grief, but to find her joy again as well.  In this episode Melissa joins us to talk about it all and share what she learned on her journey.We have included below something Melissa wrote about grief and some of the things that it has taught her.10 lessons I learned on grief1. Everyone grieves differently.Be authentic in your grief. Some grieve with tears and outward pain. Others don't cry, or quietly grieve or some grief is expressed in the honoring of requests, memories. I could go on with so many ways we grieve but through all grief, may we be authentic in carrying our memories and love, not judging ourselves for either being in tears or not, whether at the appropriate time or not.2. Grief IS physical. Be kind to yourself and take time to care for your body, mind and spirit. During times of grief, find something you love to do and make time for it. Whether it's taking a walk, dancing, a long bath, playing music... make an effort to do at least one thing that makes you smile. 3. Life goes on. This can be a blessing, but sometimes this can be the saddest part of loss. Life is busy and that can help to keep you distracted from falling too deeply into depression during loss, but sometimes the fact that life is happening and your loved one is no longer there to share it with you can be just as painful. 4. Almost every emotion you'll feel in the roller coaster of grief can be traced and connected to love. Even anger, it all stems from love. 5. Grief is lonely. Don't deny yourself though, the solitude. With time, when you're ready to engage again, your true friends will still be there waiting to include you, with no judgment. 6. Initially, focusing on your loved ones death is all consuming. But with time, and maybe with intentionality, your focus will change to their life. It's a beautiful transition that honors, not the fact that they died, but that they lived. 7. Life is precious and living with regrets is bitter. 8. Stop expecting, or hoping the pain to disappear. The moment you accept that you'll walk with grief as a companion for the rest of your life, the more you "settle into it" instead of fight it. It's the fighting it that gets tiring! 9. You will never fully return to being the person you were before your loss. Grief will irrevocably change you! Accept yourself as you are now, you may be more compassionate, maybe less tolerant of selfish or shallow people. You will, without a doubt, see life in a different way. 10. It is possible to have your heart bursting with happiness and gratitude while simultaneously carrying grief and pain. For some reason I had this idea that I'd be full of only sadness from day one until whatever date I finally "got over" my grief. But now I realize that's so far from the truth. The day I accepted my ability to carry both happiness and grief at the same time was a day I finally felt peace. My heart will always carry my grief but it now has space to simply live with happiness and joy at the same time.MelissaBook Recommendation:Motherless Daughters by Hope EdelmanSupport the show

This episode, come join us as we welcome Pride month, and chat about random things, including the definition of PTSD, CPTSD and Moral Injury.  Plus, we have some laughs as we discuss sexuality, jack hammers and carousels, caves, headlamps and rage rooms. We hope you'll enjoy spending the evening with us!  - Whisper & Jemimahttps://linktr.ee/bnbravepodcastSupport the show

Born into a fundamentalist Christian home, Tammie Willis knew coercion and control from a very young age. Kept busy with religious activities, school and church all day, she had little time for anything else. Leaving religion and deconstructing the trauma that she had experienced may have been easier if her life wasn't struck with tragedy in her teen years. Somehow she stumbled upon Dr. Janja Lalich's Take Back Your Life Courses, and now works with Dr. Lalich, Sally Martin and Beth Matenaer who are survivors and trauma informed therapists. Tammie wanted to help spread the word about these incredible classes. Here is the link to Take Back Your Life Recovery where you can find various courses for those who have experienced cults and high coercion and control situations. www.tbylr.comSupport the show

Andrew Pledger was born in a fundamentalist Christian home. He was home schooled and fully immersed in religion from a very young age.  When he began to question things in his teen years, he came to some conclusions that didn't quite line up with what he had been taught. He broke free from his religion and came out to the world as part of the LGBTQ+ community in a very dramatic and public way. Now Andrew is an activist, writer and podcaster helping to bring awareness about spiritual and religious abuse and trauma. He's working on a book about his experiences and also hosts a podcast called....Yep you guessed it, Speaking Up with Andrew Pledger.Follow Andrew on social media:www.liinks.co/4ndrewpledgerListen to Andrew's Podcast:https://anchor.fm/andrew-pledgerSupport the show

Ashlee was only 16 when she met him. What appeared at first to be a fairytale romance, became a web of control growing over her life. The short-lived joy of a fancy car and new clothes came crashing down. Once things turned bloody, she knew she had to escape. Before it was too late. Ashlee's dramatic story became one of transformation and healing from12 years of chronic physical pain caused by emotional trauma. Ashlee found her life purpose and now coaches women who are stuck living in the fear and anxiety from toxic relationships into fully thriving in a life they design.You can access Ashlee's coaching program here:https://timetothriveprogram.mykajabi.com/link-in-bioFollow her on Instagram:https://www.instagram.com/ashlee_hoelck/Support the show

We are officially one year old! And what a year it's been! We have been honored with the presence of so many survivors, heard stories that made us laugh and cry, and we've shared them with the world. Whisper and Jemima talk about some of the things that have surprised them the most about being podcasters, as well as some of the reasons we do this. Support the show

In the second half of our two-part interview with Deb Donner, we learn even more details about daily life for kids in The Wesleyan Community compound, and where it all is today. Plus we pick some daisies about growing up in cults, finding purpose, family relationships, and figuring out life outside the cult.Support the show (https://paypal.me/butterfliesandbraver?locale.x=en_US)