Patterns of Possibility

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Lee (he/him/his) spent several years searching for connection and community by any means. After years of disappointing drama and spectacular failures, he discovered how understanding his own patterns of behavior would help him create his own community. Lee engages in conversations with thought leaders, coaches and other spectacular people, he answers your friendship and relationship questions and shares his experiences and life lessons with an energetic blend of storytelling and music. Interviews released every Tuesday. Stories and Q&A episodes are released on alternating Fridays.

Lee Hopkins


    • May 27, 2025 LATEST EPISODE
    • weekly NEW EPISODES
    • 24m AVG DURATION
    • 215 EPISODES


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    Latest episodes from Patterns of Possibility

    Stop Shrinking. Stop Pleasing. Start Releasing

    Play Episode Listen Later May 27, 2025 24:59


    Tired of pretending to be someone you're not just to keep the peace? In this solo episode, Coach Lee Hopkins breaks down the emotional cost of shrinking, masking, and people-pleasing especially for neurodivergent adults and those healing from rejection sensitivity. You'll learn how to recognize when it's time to let go of draining relationships, how to unmask without guilt, and how to connect in ways that actually feel real.Are your boundaries protecting you or just hiding you?➜ Take the Boundaries & Masking Quiz at www.patternsofpossibility.com to discover your personal style and learn how to unmask with confidence.

    When Your Friends Know The Mask, Not You

    Play Episode Listen Later May 20, 2025 23:47


    Are you being loved for who you are or for who you've trained others to see?In this episode, we talk about the harmful effects of being surrounded by people who don't actually know you.➜ Want to build authentic relationships + grow your social connections?➜ Visit www.patternsofpossibility.com to take the Boundaries & Masking Quiz. You'll uncover your personal boundary style as well as tips to unmask safely and build more authentic connections.

    7 Phrases Toxic People Use to Destroy Your Confidence

    Play Episode Listen Later May 13, 2025 21:09


    In this episode, we break down seven subtle but damaging phrases that toxic people often use to make you doubt yourself. If you've spent a lifetime masking or second-guessing your instincts, this one's for you.➜ Want to build authentic relationships + grow your social connections?➜ Visit https://linktr.ee/patternsofpossibility for free course, quizzes and more.

    When AI feels like a friend but leaves you lonely

    Play Episode Listen Later May 6, 2025 21:59


    AI is not your friend.➜ Want to build authentic relationships + grow your social connections?➜ Visit https://linktr.ee/patternsofpossibility for free course, quizzes and more.

    Self Diagnosed Autism: Harmful or Healing?

    Play Episode Listen Later Apr 29, 2025 27:44


    There's this idea that a diagnosis from a doctor somehow makes everything clearer, right? That if it's formal, it's “official,” and somehow it'll make the struggles feel more validated. But here's the truth: you are not less valid if you self-diagnose.➜ Want to build authentic relationships + grow your social connections?➜ Visit https://linktr.ee/patternsofpossibility for free course, quizzes and more.

    Talking to Strangers When You're Wired Differently

    Play Episode Listen Later Apr 22, 2025 26:02


    We all start as strangers but for some of us, it feels like we're meant to stay that way.Being autistic means that connection doesn't always come easily.Listen to this episode to learn the 3 common reasons I've felt it happen and what I've done to overcome and connect.➜ Want to build authentic relationships + grow your social connections?➜ Visit https://linktr.ee/patternsofpossibility for free course, quizzes and more.

    3 Social Cues to Master (And what to do to connect)

    Play Episode Listen Later Apr 15, 2025 26:41


    Are you confused about which social cues to look for?As a late diagnosed autistic adult, it's likely you've never been taught what to pay attention to.Fortunately, you can start to learn these 3 to make a solid connection.Listen to discover what they are and how to respond.➜ Want to build authentic relationships + grow your social connections?➜ Visit https://linktr.ee/patternsofpossibility for free course, quizzes and more.

    Real Friends Talk To You, Fake Friends Talk About You

    Play Episode Listen Later Apr 8, 2025 21:33


    Can you tell the difference between genuine connection and surface-level social games?Being autistic you're likely to miss important cues.Listen to this episode to learn how to determine who is your friend and who is fake.➜ Want to build authentic relationships + grow your social connections?➜ Visit https://linktr.ee/patternsofpossibility for free course, quizzes and more.

    How To Build a Community Instead of Just Wishing for It

    Play Episode Listen Later Apr 1, 2025 22:02


    You want people to show up for you, but do you know how to show up?Listen to this episode to learn what to do to build the community you always wished for.➜ Want to build authentic relationships + grow your social connections?➜ Visit https://linktr.ee/patternsofpossibility for free course, quizzes and more.

    The Mask, the Unmasking, and Finding the Balance

    Play Episode Listen Later Mar 25, 2025 21:33


    You reached a point where you DGAF about what other's think. You're ready to rip that mask off.But hold on there.You might make things a lot worse.Listen to this episode to learn how showing up raw and unfiltered isn't always the best idea and what to do instead.➜ Want to build authentic relationships + grow your social connections?➜ Visit https://linktr.ee/patternsofpossibility for free course, quizzes and more.➜EVENT: No More Boring Conversations [March 26, 2025]Register Now. Space is limited to 15 attendees.https://www.patternsofpossibility.com/events/boringconversations

    5 Overused Phrases That Hold Back Real Friendships

    Play Episode Listen Later Mar 18, 2025 20:32


    How do you know if they really want a genuine friendship? Look out for these 5 overused phrases. It's a dead giveaway.Listen to this episode to learn what people who want real connection will and won't say.➜ Want to build authentic relationships + grow your social connections?➜ Visit https://linktr.ee/patternsofpossibility for free course, quizzes and more.➜EVENT: No More Boring Conversations [March 26, 2025]Register Now. Space is limited to 15 attendees.https://www.patternsofpossibility.com/events/boringconversations

    How To Quickly Identify Friends and Associates

    Play Episode Listen Later Mar 11, 2025 20:05


    Your all or nothing outlook on relationships is limiting your social circle and growth potential.Building relationships isn't about choosing between friendships and associates.It's about understanding their specific purposes.Listen to this episode to become more discerning in your friendships and with associates.➜ Want to build authentic relationships + grow your social connections?➜ Visit https://linktr.ee/patternsofpossibility for free course, quizzes and more.➜EVENT: No More Boring Conversations [March 26, 2025]Register Now. Space is limited to 15 attendees.https://www.patternsofpossibility.com/events/boringconversations

    Dismissed & Discarded

    Play Episode Listen Later Feb 18, 2025 27:25


    Your friendship is over.It hurts.What do you do with those feelings of being dismissed and discarded?➜ Want to build authentic relationships + grow your social connections?➜ Visit https://linktr.ee/patternsofpossibility for free course, quizzes and more.➜EVENT: No More Boring Conversationshttps://www.patternsofpossibility.com/events/boringconversations

    Ep 2024 12.17.2024 - REPLAY One Sides Friendships

    Play Episode Listen Later Feb 11, 2025 27:15


    Do you feel like you're in a one-sided friendship?Find out what you to do if you don't want to leave but you're not sure if you should stay?➜ Want to build authentic relationships + grow your social connections?➜ Visit https://linktr.ee/patternsofpossibility for free course, quizzes and more.➜EVENT: No More Boring Conversationshttps://www.patternsofpossibility.com/events/boringconversations

    3 Overhyped Friendship Tips

    Play Episode Listen Later Feb 4, 2025 20:24


    If you're looking to make deeper connections, stop employing these overhyped 3 tips. They only create surface level relationships. ➜ Want to build authentic relationships + grow your social connections? ➜ Visit https://linktr.ee/patternsofpossibility for free course, quizzes and more.

    5 Key Lessons for Social Confidence

    Play Episode Listen Later Jan 28, 2025 25:44


    If I had learned these when I was growing up, I'd have a much stronger social circle today. ➜ Want to build authentic relationships + grow your social connections? ➜ Visit https://linktr.ee/patternsofpossibility for free course, quizzes and more.

    Why do I push people away before they reject me?

    Play Episode Listen Later Jan 21, 2025 25:36


    If you've felt rejected in the past, your brain wants to avoid that pain. So, you reject others first. But here's the thing: rejecting people prematurely robs you of meaningful connections. Rejecting early blocks meaningful connections. ➜ Want to build authentic relationships + grow your social connections? ➜ Access Coaching & Courses: https://linktr.ee/patternsofpossibility.

    I Just Realized I'm Autistic...

    Play Episode Listen Later Jan 14, 2025 15:06


    In this episode, I share how I discover that I'm autistic. It really explains a lot about honestly.

    Breaking No Contact With Family

    Play Episode Listen Later Jan 7, 2025 27:31


    In this episode, I share what to look out for if you're going to break no contact with your family.

    Your Guard Is Up, and It's Keeping You Lonely

    Play Episode Listen Later Dec 3, 2024 28:26


    In this episode, I share how to stop your past experiences from making genuine connections today.

    Let's Fight!

    Play Episode Listen Later Nov 26, 2024 27:50


    In this episode, I share how I handle grudges.

    Be Grateful I'd Even Show Up

    Play Episode Listen Later Nov 19, 2024 18:50


    In this episode, I share how to deal with those friends who show up whenever they want instead of when they're needed.

    It's Better to Be Lonely

    Play Episode Listen Later Nov 12, 2024 22:36


    In this episode, I share why making friends can feel like a waste of time.

    How To Fix Your Toxic Friend

    Play Episode Listen Later Nov 5, 2024 19:00


    In this episode, I share how to fix your toxic friend.

    When You're The Toxic Friend

    Play Episode Listen Later Oct 29, 2024 22:13


    In this episode, I share how to the realization that you're the toxic friend. ***************** Are you an empathetic person who wants more depth in your conversations? Join the Trust & Thrive Tribe: https://www.patternsofpossibility.com/trustandthrive Get 1 on 1 support: Whether you want to feel more included at work or make a close personal friend, I can help you: Repair current relationships.  Reconnect with past relationships. Create new quality personal and professional relationships. Book a 1 on 1 to discuss how I can help you. ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://calendly.com/patternsofpossibility/friendly-conversation⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

    My Friends Don't Care About Me

    Play Episode Listen Later Oct 22, 2024 22:09


    In this episode, I share how to handle friends who aren't interested in the real you. ***************** Are you an empathetic person who wants more depth in your conversations? Join the Trust & Thrive Tribe: https://www.patternsofpossibility.com/trustandthrive Get 1 on 1 support: Whether you want to feel more included at work or make a close personal friend, I can help you: Repair current relationships.  Reconnect with past relationships. Create new quality personal and professional relationships. Book a 1 on 1 to discuss how I can help you. ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://calendly.com/patternsofpossibility/friendly-conversation⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

    When Your Friend Is Upset with You

    Play Episode Listen Later Oct 15, 2024 21:40


    In this episode, I share how to handle fights with your friends. ***************** Are you an empathetic person who wants more depth in your conversations? Join the Trust & Thrive Tribe: https://www.patternsofpossibility.com/trustandthrive Get 1 on 1 support: Whether you want to feel more included at work or make a close personal friend, I can help you: Repair current relationships.  Reconnect with past relationships. Create new quality personal and professional relationships. Book a 1 on 1 to discuss how I can help you. ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://calendly.com/patternsofpossibility/friendly-conversation⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

    Shame On You

    Play Episode Listen Later Oct 8, 2024 21:16


    In this episode, I share how to handle shame in your relationships. ***************** Are you an empathetic person who wants more depth in your conversations? Whether you want to feel more included at work or make a close personal friend, I can help you: Repair current relationships.  Reconnect with past relationships. Create new quality personal and professional relationships. Let's have a friendly conversation to discuss how I can help you! ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://calendly.com/patternsofpossibility/friendly-conversation⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

    3 Strikes and You're Out

    Play Episode Listen Later Oct 1, 2024 24:04


    In this episode, I share why I only give 3 strikes before I make changes in a relationship. ***************** Are you an empathetic person who wants more depth in your conversations? Whether you want to feel more included at work or make a close personal friend, I can help you: Repair current relationships.  Reconnect with past relationships. Create new quality personal and professional relationships. Let's have a friendly conversation to discuss how I can help you! ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://calendly.com/patternsofpossibility/friendly-conversation⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

    What you say

    Play Episode Listen Later Sep 24, 2024 21:41


    In this episode, I share what to do if you're dealing with a friend who misinterprets what you say. ***************** Are you an empathetic person who wants more depth in your conversations? Whether you want to feel more included at work or make a close personal friend, I can help you: Repair current relationships.  Reconnect with past relationships. Create new quality personal and professional relationships. Let's have a friendly conversation to discuss how I can help you! ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://calendly.com/patternsofpossibility/friendly-conversation⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

    The Grandstander Friend

    Play Episode Listen Later Sep 14, 2024 25:22


    In this episode, I share what to do if you're dealing with a friend who always gets angry on your behalf. ***************** Are you an empathetic person who wants more depth in your conversations? Whether you want to feel more included at work or make a close personal friend, I can help you: Repair current relationships.  Reconnect with past relationships. Create new quality personal and professional relationships. Let's have a friendly conversation to discuss how I can help you! ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://calendly.com/patternsofpossibility/friendly-conversation⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

    Don't Find Your Tribe, Attract Your Vibe

    Play Episode Listen Later Sep 10, 2024 25:19


    In this episode, I share what to do with friends that are holding you back. ***************** Are you an empathetic person who wants more depth in your conversations? Whether you want to feel more included at work or make a close personal friend, I can help you: Repair current relationships.  Reconnect with past relationships. Create new quality personal and professional relationships. Let's have a friendly conversation to discuss how I can help you! ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://calendly.com/patternsofpossibility/friendly-conversation⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

    Holding You Back or Helping You Up?

    Play Episode Listen Later Sep 3, 2024 22:52


    In this episode, I share what to do with friends that are holding you back. ***************** Are you an empathetic person who wants more depth in your conversations? Whether you want to feel more included at work or make a close personal friend, I can help you: Repair current relationships.  Reconnect with past relationships. Create new quality personal and professional relationships. Let's have a friendly conversation to discuss how I can help you! ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://calendly.com/patternsofpossibility/friendly-conversation⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

    Drifting From Friends

    Play Episode Listen Later Aug 27, 2024 26:02


    In this episode, I share what to do if you're drifting from your friends. ***************** Are you an empathetic person who wants more depth in your conversations? Whether you want to feel more included at work or make a close personal friend, I can help you: Repair current relationships.  Reconnect with past relationships. Create new quality personal and professional relationships. Let's have a friendly conversation to discuss how I can help you! ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://calendly.com/patternsofpossibility/friendly-conversation⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

    Is your friend using you?

    Play Episode Listen Later Aug 20, 2024 25:03


    In this episode, I share what to do if you think your friend is using you. ***************** Are you an empathetic person who wants more depth in your conversations? Whether you want to feel more included at work or make a close personal friend, I can help you: Repair current relationships.  Reconnect with past relationships. Create new quality personal and professional relationships. Let's have a friendly conversation to discuss how I can help you! ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://calendly.com/patternsofpossibility/friendly-conversation⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

    Second Guessing Yourself

    Play Episode Listen Later Aug 13, 2024 25:44


    In this episode, I share why constant second guessing erodes your sense of self and trust in others. ***************** Are you an empathetic person who wants more depth in your conversations? Whether you want to feel more included at work or make a close personal friend, I can help you: Repair current relationships.  Reconnect with past relationships. Create new quality personal and professional relationships. Let's have a friendly conversation to discuss how I can help you! ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://calendly.com/patternsofpossibility/friendly-conversation⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

    3 Skills to Make Friends

    Play Episode Listen Later Aug 6, 2024 31:15


    In this episode, I share 3 skills you need to make friends. ***************** Are you an empathetic person who wants more depth in your conversations?Whether you want to feel more included at work or make a close personal friend, I can help you: Repair current relationships.  Reconnect with past relationships Create new quality personal and professional relationships. Let's have a friendly conversation to discuss how I can help you! ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://calendly.com/patternsofpossibility/friendly-conversation⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

    The Devil's Advocate Is No Friend

    Play Episode Listen Later Jul 30, 2024 28:01


    In this episode, I share why the Devil's Advocate friend is a menace to friendships everywhere! ***************** Are you an extremely intelligent person stuck making small talk because your current relationships lack the depth and appreciation for what's important to you? Are you experiencing a life change that is creating a rift between you and your current relationships? Let's have a friendly conversation to discuss how I can help you! ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://calendly.com/patternsofpossibility/friendly-conversation⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ The Art of Connection Workshop WebinarJuly 30 at 7pm CST⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.eventbrite.com/e/938502555407?aff=oddtdtcreator⁠⁠⁠⁠

    Toxic people have so many friends

    Play Episode Listen Later Jul 23, 2024 28:09


    In this episode, I share why toxic people have so many friends! Are you an extremely intelligent person stuck making small talk because your current relationships lack the depth and appreciation for what's important to you? Are you experiencing a life change that is creating a rift between you and your current relationships? Let's have a friendly conversation to discuss how I can help you! ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://calendly.com/patternsofpossibility/friendly-conversation⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ The Art of Connection Workshop Webinar July 30 at 7pm CST ⁠⁠⁠https://www.eventbrite.com/e/938502555407?aff=oddtdtcreator⁠⁠⁠

    Did you hear me?

    Play Episode Listen Later Jul 16, 2024 22:32


    In this episode, I share what to do when people misunderstand you. Are you an extremely intelligent person stuck making small talk because your current relationships lack the depth and appreciation for what's important to you? Are you experiencing a life change that is creating a rift between you and your current relationships? Let's have a friendly conversation to discuss how I can help you! ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://calendly.com/patternsofpossibility/friendly-conversation⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ The Art of Connection Workshop Webinar July 30 at 7pm CST ⁠⁠https://www.eventbrite.com/e/938502555407?aff=oddtdtcreator⁠⁠

    You'll Take What I Give You

    Play Episode Listen Later Jul 9, 2024 24:14


    In this episode, I share why befriending those who only want to give you want they want you to have can hurt your friendships. Are you an extremely intelligent person stuck making small talk because your current relationships lack the depth and appreciation for what's important to you? Are you experiencing a life change that is creating a rift between you and your current relationships? Let's have a friendly conversation to discuss how I can help you! ⁠⁠⁠⁠https://calendly.com/patternsofpossibility/friendly-conversation⁠⁠⁠⁠ The Art of Connection Workshop Webinar July 30 at 7pm CST ⁠https://www.eventbrite.com/e/938502555407?aff=oddtdtcreator⁠

    The Friend That Mocks You

    Play Episode Listen Later Jul 2, 2024 25:03


    In this episode, I explore why that friend who jokes about you, really doesn't like you. Are you an extremely intelligent person stuck making small talk because your current relationships lack the depth and appreciation for what's important to you? Are you experiencing a life change that is creating a rift between you and your current relationships? Let's have a friendly conversation to discuss how I can help you! ⁠⁠⁠https://calendly.com/patternsofpossibility/friendly-conversation⁠⁠⁠ The Art of Connection Workshop Webinar July 30 at 7pm CST https://www.eventbrite.com/e/938502555407?aff=oddtdtcreator

    Introverts, Don't Envy Extroverts

    Play Episode Listen Later Jun 25, 2024 25:09


    In this episode, I share how introverts and extroverts want the same in relationships. Are you an extremely intelligent person stuck making small talk because your current relationships lack the depth and appreciation for what's important to you? Are you experiencing a life change that is creating a rift between you and your current relationships? Let's have a friendly conversation to discuss how I can help you! ⁠⁠https://calendly.com/patternsofpossibility/friendly-conversation⁠⁠

    Friendship Is A Sacred Word

    Play Episode Listen Later Jun 20, 2024 21:20


    In this episode, I share why it's important not to call just anyone a friend. Are you an extremely intelligent person stuck making small talk because your current relationships lack the depth and appreciation for what's important to you? Are you experiencing a life change that is creating a rift between you and your current relationships? Let's have a friendly conversation to discuss how I can help you! ⁠⁠⁠https://calendly.com/patternsofpossibility/friendly-conversation⁠⁠⁠

    Friend That Ignores You

    Play Episode Listen Later Jun 11, 2024 25:17


    In this episode, I share how to handle when your friend ignores you and you don't know why. Let's have a friendly conversation to discuss how I can help you! ⁠https://calendly.com/patternsofpossibility/friendly-conversation⁠

    Superficial Relationships

    Play Episode Listen Later Jun 4, 2024 24:05


    In this episode, I share how to deepen conversations with others. Let's have a friendly conversation to discuss how I can help you! https://calendly.com/patternsofpossibility/friendly-conversation

    Three Types of Boundaries

    Play Episode Listen Later May 28, 2024 26:09


    In this episode, I share 3 types of boundaries that you need to set to foster respect and understanding.

    Why Black Sheeps Struggle To Make Friends

    Play Episode Listen Later May 21, 2024 24:16


    In this episode, I share why you might struggle to make friends as a black sheep of your family.

    You're Being Breadcrumbed

    Play Episode Listen Later May 21, 2024 24:22


    In this episode, I share how people waste your time and how you can get it back.

    Are You Seeking Outside Validation?

    Play Episode Listen Later May 7, 2024 24:54


    In this episode, I share how seeking outside validation leaves you lonely.

    No Future in Past Friendships

    Play Episode Listen Later Apr 30, 2024 22:53


    In this episode, I share why won't have a future with some of our past friendships.

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