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Send us a textWhat if the key to meaningful connections isn't trying harder to fit in, but learning how to authentically stand out? Coach Lee Hopkins transforms this question into life-changing guidance for late-diagnosed autistic adults struggling with social connections.Growing up watching sitcoms where problems resolved neatly in 30 minutes, Coach Lee assumed real relationships would follow the same pattern. Instead, he spent decades "destroying relationships" without understanding why. Through therapy, he discovered the foundation of connection—acknowledging that both he and others had feelings—but something was still missing. As an undiagnosed autistic person, his direct communication style clashed with neurotypical expectations, leaving him perpetually disconnected despite being surrounded by people.Sarah Brafford shares similar experiences of feeling "like a unicorn in the horse and cow pasture," visible but fundamentally different. Both describe the exhaustion of masking—that survival strategy of nodding, smiling, and suppressing authentic responses to appear "normal." When they finally attempted to unmask, rejection often followed, creating a painful cycle that kept them isolated.The conversation takes a powerful turn as Coach Lee reveals his transformative insight: "Rejection is redirection." Through his coaching practice, Patterns of Possibility, he guides clients to identify their values and seek connections in aligned environments. Rather than forcing yourself into spaces that require masking, he suggests finding communities where your authentic self naturally fits. The path requires vulnerability—something he teaches through practical, actionable steps rather than vague encouragements to "just be yourself."Whether you're autistic, neurodivergent, or simply feeling disconnected, this episode offers hope through personal stories of finding genuine connection. Learn how small acts of recognition—like thanking the often-overlooked workers in our daily lives—can create ripples of positive change while building your connection muscles.Ready to move from merely being invited to truly belonging? Visit PatternsOfPossibility.com for free resources, including a 7-minute guide on "How to be vulnerable without being overexposed" and information about joining the Trust and Thrive Tribe community.Support the show
Tired of pretending to be someone you're not just to keep the peace? In this solo episode, Coach Lee Hopkins breaks down the emotional cost of shrinking, masking, and people-pleasing especially for neurodivergent adults and those healing from rejection sensitivity. You'll learn how to recognize when it's time to let go of draining relationships, how to unmask without guilt, and how to connect in ways that actually feel real.Are your boundaries protecting you or just hiding you?➜ Take the Boundaries & Masking Quiz at www.patternsofpossibility.com to discover your personal style and learn how to unmask with confidence.
Hey friends!
How do you learn to be your authentic self? In this chat with Coach Lee Hopkins, he talks about how he got in his own way in the past by contorting himself to fit into relationships so that people would like him. But he never asked himself if he liked those people in his life that he was trying so hard to please. He talks about being your authentic self in relationships and how to actually do that. How might learning to be your authentic self in relationships change the way you show up and the caliber of your relationships? Watch April and Coach Lee livestream here.
In this episode, we are joined by Coach Lee Hopkins, a social connections coach dedicated to helping people build meaningful relationships in all areas of life. Together, we delve into the challenges of forging deeper connections, navigating vulnerability, and fostering lasting friendships—whether with colleagues, business partners, or in personal relationships. Coach Lee shares his own journey of struggling to form friendships and provides practical advice on how to open up authentically. He introduces the concept of “strategic vulnerability,” where sharing joyful and important aspects of yourself can help you connect with others on a more meaningful level. The discussion also explores the role of curiosity, trust, and boundary-setting in building strong relationships, and how to overcome the fear of rejection. Tune in for actionable insights and tools to help you create the relationships you've always wanted, and learn how vulnerability can become your greatest strength in connecting with others. Coach Lee Hopkins is a Social Connections Coach who helps introspective and ambitious individuals build more fulfilling relationships in both their personal and professional lives. Whether you want to expand your social circle to invite others in or build deeper connections with your current connections, he believes you must be your authentic self. In his social connections coaching company, Patterns of Possibility, he teaches Strategic Vulnerability to help his clients find and maintain closeness in their friendships and with their families as well as with coworkers and business partners. Find out more about Coach Lee online: Website: https://www.patternsofpossibility.com/ TikTok: https://tiktok.com/@patternsofpossibility YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCk_sXvnjqwhFlpI-NYV845g LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/coachleehopkins/ Meaningful Connections Workbook: https://mailchi.mp/828362bafa9d/meaningfulconnectionsworkbook Events & More: https://linktr.ee/patternsofpossibility
Hey guys, welcome to Adulting with Autism, the podcast where we dive into the rollercoaster of adulthood through a neurodiverse lens. I'm April Ratchford, your friendly occupational therapist mom, proudly on the spectrum and raising an amazing young adult son with autism. Join us as we share stories, tips, and laughs, offering a supportive space for anyone navigating life's twists and turns. Grab your drink of choice, no judgment, and let's embark on this journey together. This is Adulting with Autism. Hey guys, hey, happy Wednesday. So glad you can make this podcast a song for you. It's called Friends. How many of us have them? Friends, ones we can depend on. Friends. Listen, you better be loving this song because it took me ages to get it right. And I used to sing that song all the time. If you don't know it, shame on your parents. And my cat, Peter, he's agreeing with me. He has all the opinions. Beats me into my next step. So I have Coach Lee Hopkins here, who is an expert on friendships. Let's be real. You guys are out of high school. And making friends outside of high school is rather difficult because if you're not going to college and you're not working yet, how else are you guys making friends? And don't say the internet. That doesn't help. Because really, human beings are social creatures and you need to learn to do it face to face. We are not made to be looking at a little screen. That's a great beginning, don't get me wrong. And that's how a lot of you guys interact in the beginning. And I'm not faulting you for that. Not faulting you at all. But you have to get used to interacting with other people. And it's a healthy thing. And Coach Lee here can help you. So he actually struggled with making friends himself because he was trying to find that perfect friend group. And we all struggled at one point of trying to find that perfect friend group. And he often felt isolated and alone. And it wasn't until he discovered the power of vulnerability that he began to break through the barriers that had held him back for so long. He learned that by speaking from the heart and being true to himself, he could have meaningful conversations that led to lasting friendships with other people. And now he's passionate about helping other people do the same. So he helps people struggling to connect with co-workers, colleagues, friends, and family members to communicate in a way that feels authentic and true to who they are. So it's not just you guys. It can be anybody who wants an authentic friendship, even your parents or your caregivers. Because think about it. They've been helping you so much that they've lost friends along the way. And you guys have to learn that your parents just aren't your parents. Your parents were people prior to being your parents or caregivers. They had things, and I'm guilty of it too, that I generally forgot who my parents were prior to having me. We all do. We all forget who our parents were before they had us. And it's a thing. It's all a kid thing. We all forget at one point that they all had lives before we entered the picture. It's no big deal. You got to remember, your parents solely made you their focus to help you become the best version of you they could be. And along the way, they gave up things they wanted to do. Having friend groups and, and don't feel bad about it. They did this voluntarily and sometimes, you know, friends sometimes grow apart and sometimes that's okay. And sometimes they come back in your life. I had a best friend in elementary school. Oh, she, Deborah, my best friend. We were like lit. And she went to another school in third grade. And just because life just happened, she went to a traditional Jewish Orthodox school. I continued on with traditional school because my parents were like, absolutely not. You're not going to Jewish. They weren't having it because I tried. And we reconnected during COVID. Friendships ebb and flow. People come in your life and they go out of your life. And that's just how friendships are. They're fluid. So give a listen to Coach Lee and he's got some great ideas that can help you, especially if you guys are now entering the workforce for the first time. And those of you that are prepping for college, also think about it. He has some great ideas. So welcome my guest, Coach Lee. As we wrap up another awesome episode of Adulting with Autism, just remember, we're all in this together. Keep being your amazing selves, celebrating wins big and small, and facing whatever life throws your way with a smile. Thanks for tuning in. And until next time, stay awesome and keep shining bright. Oh, and if you want to help our podcast grow, don't forget to share it with your friends. Leave us a review and hit that subscribe button. This is April Ratchford signing off from Adulting with Autism. https://www.patternsofpossibility.com/ https://www.instagram.com/patternsofpossibility/ https://x.com/PatternsPossi https://www.tiktok.com/@patternsofpossibility https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCk_sXvnjqwhFlpI-NYV845g?view_as=subscriber
Loneliness and feeling disconnected are common experiences today, affecting how we feel about life. The longing for real connection is stronger than ever. But it's not just about having lots of friends; it's about having meaningful connections that make us feel understood and valued. How do we close this gap and build relationships that truly matter? In this episode, I have the pleasure to chat with Coach Lee Hopkins, the founder of Patterns of Possibility. Coach Lee Hopkins is an expert in helping people build more meaningful connections in both their personal and professional lives. Throughout the episode, Coach Lee guides us through understanding the nuances of genuine connections, both online and offline. He talks about the complexities of modern-day interactions, offering actionable strategies to enhance the depth and authenticity of our relationships. Learn how small, intentional steps can lead to profound shifts in our relationships, bringing us closer to a life filled with genuine connection and fulfillment. --- Listen to the podcast here: Building Real and Meaningful Connections with Coach Lee Hopkins Welcome to Action's Antidotes, your antidote to the mindset that keeps you selling for less. Today, I want to talk to you a little bit about loneliness, lack of connection. Now, you probably heard a lot of talk about the loneliness epidemic. One of the decisions I often cite in some of my presentations is that a survey was conducted around how many close friends people have, because loneliness is not just about how many people you're around, it's not just about isolation, it's also about the meaningfulness, the depth of the connection. A survey conducted in 1990 showed that over 60 percent of all people said they had five or more close friends, how they would define as close friends. That same survey conducted in 2021 put 48 percent of all people in the one to four category for how many close friends they had and an alarming 12 percent actually reported having zero close friends and this is impacting just our quality of life in general so it's good for us to kind of regroup and think a bit more about how we actually form meaningful relationships with other human beings. And to that topic, I bring you my guest today, Coach Lee Hopkins. Coach Lee Hopkins is a social connections coach, founder of a company called Patterns of Possibility. With this company, he uses a simple three-step process to help his clients find and maintain closeness in their friendships. --- Coach Lee Hopkins, welcome to the program. Thank you so much for having me here. I'm so glad to talk about this topic because it affects so many people. Let's start with what's affecting people. What are you observing in the world today, like right now, regarding the quality of our connections we're making between human beings? The quality of our connections. What I observe is there's all kinds of statistics out there. As you pointed out, there's some statistics about the relationships that my own observations is searching through TikTok and being on social media, listening to what other people are experiencing as well as watching and seeing my own experiences is that we're not as connected as we were before and I would love to just tackle that and look at it from a different angle because what I define as connection is a little bit different than what most people do. They think simply because we are focused on being online so much that we're disconnected.Click To Tweet Of course, that keeps us separated but even when we're in person, we're also not making the intentional kind of connections there too. We're just like in spaces with people and not being connected. The phenomenon that I've noticed is we're disconnected online and then we're so unattached to people that when we get into spaces with people, we don't know how to be either. And so disconnection is just pretty rampant.
Many people blame themselves that they can't make friends or find people to nurture their spirit, yet they don't realize that making quality connections is a skill that is not often taught. Coach Lee Hopkins joins us on Happenstance to talk about building authentic friends, the importances of vulnerability in close friendships, the different tiers of friendships and how our history, habits and hobbies impacts the connections that we have. Coach Lee Hopkins who is a Social Connections & Business Culture Coach. He helps self-reflective individuals create more meaningful relationships and supportive social circles of people who care about their well-being.Connect with Coach Lee:www.patternsofpossibility.com TikTokLet's Connect:@HappenstanceThePodcast@CareerCoachCassieHappenstance the Playlist
Cracking the Code of Authentic Friendships with Coach Lee Hopkins
Even before the COVID-19 pandemic gave us our first experience of health-related lock-downs in the US in current times, isolation and loneliness have been a growing problem for many people. It's gotten to the point that the U.S. surgeon general published an advisory outlining his concerns about the public health crisis of loneliness, isolation, and lack of connection in our country earlier this year. Disconnection fundamentally affects our mental, physical & societal health. Fortunately, Coach Lee Hopkins is working diligently to help others create new relationships to bring joy and connection into their lives.Coach Lee Hopkins has been a guest on this podcast a few times in the past. He joined us in Episode #77 when he told us about a very powerful boundaries framework that he has created, which he calls 3N Boundaries. Then in Episodes #80 & #81 Coach Lee shared some important insights & tools to help us understand more about our grudges & how to constructively work with them. Coach Lee joins us again today to share some great insights & tools about ways that we can build strong, mutually beneficial connections with others.Welcome to “Building Meaningful Connections in an Era of Loneliness”, Episode #121 of Co-creating Peace.Some highlights are:The Importance of sharing your truthMindful sharing and contextual TMI How to initiate making meaningful connections when others seem reservedThe J.I.S.T. storytelling method as a way to begin to create a meaningful connection with someoneMake sure you go to the Patterns of Possibility website & register for the Annual Social Connections Summit (Aug. 5 & 6) by clicking on the Annual Summit 2023 link. When you click on the “For Individuals” link on the homepage, in addition to the other great information there, you will find a Free Resources link with some really great free tools to help you build stronger connections with yourself, as well as others. The “For Organizations” link on the home page takes you to some excellent information & tools which can be tailored to almost any group, even an informal one.Please support Co-creating Peace:Subscribe to Co-creating Peace on your favorite podcast providerSend me your ideas for topics & guests or be a guest to talk about your communication or conflict resolution challenges & receive free communication coachingShare on social media & tell the world about Co-creating Peace! Become a patron at www.patreon.com/CocreatingPeace Contact Kathleen Oweegon at: oweegon@bridgesofpeace.com to share your ideas and feedback for this show. You can receive a free 30-minute communication coaching session by being a guest on Co-creating Peace to talk about your communication challenges and receive Kathleen's suggestions on the air. Visit BridgesofPeace.com to learn more about Kathleen and her work.
Shameless Plug Episode: Annual Social Connections Summit 2023Coach Lee Hopkins is a transgender man who helps people create lasting friendships. After struggling with loneliness most of his life, he's developed various ways to discover himself in it.Coach Lee returns to Self Talk to update us on the virtual Annual Socal Connections Summit, coming up on August 5 & 6, 2023. Spoiler: I will be a presenter on August 5 at 3:30 p.m. ET, talking about connecting women in midlife through mentorship.Have a listen as Coach Lee shares the importance of social connection with a vital caveat: We do our best work in community when we are at peace with our true selves. Coach Lee has also offered Self Talk listeners 25% off the ticket price of the summit.Click here to register.Full video: http://bit.ly/selftalkcoachleeASCSMore from Coach Lee:Website: https://www.patternsofpossibility.com/ Reddit: https://www.reddit.com/user/BrilliantNResilientTikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@patternsofpossibility IG: https://www.instagram.com/patternsofpossibility YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCk_sXvnjqwhFlpI-NYV845g Facebook: https://fb.me/Patternsofpossibility Podcast: https://anchor.fm/patternsofpossibility Twitter: https://twitter.com/PatternsPossiEmail: patternsofpossibility@gmail.comGot a question about your self? Send it to me at rachel@selftalkpodcast.com and it may be featured on a future episode. Support the show• Subscribe here, at youtube.com/@selftalkpodcast, or wherever you get podcasts. •Music:"Ave Marimba"Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com)Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 3.0
Hello & Welcome to season four of the Fearless Fridays with Maryann podcast! In today's episode, we meet Coach Lee Hopkins. He is passionate about helping adults create a strong and supportive social circle full of people who are genuinely interested in them. As a transgender man, he knows firsthand the difficulties that come with trying to make meaningful friendships in today's world. To connect with our guest, be sure to visit https://www.patternsofpossibility.com/. I look forward to connecting with you, and I can be found... Website: https://www.maryannriveradannert.com IG: https://www.instagram.com/maryannriveradannert FB: https://www.facebook.com/TheFearlessLivingExpert Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCS5Edcfs9t_j2zlP6r6Y2Dw Libsyn website: http://fearlessfridayswithmaryann.libsyn.com
Patterns Of Possibility Website: https://www.patternsofpossibility.com/Annual Social Connections Virtual Summit 2023: https://www.patternsofpossibility.com/annual-social-connections-summitJoin our Facebook group for business owners to get help or help other business owners!The Business Ownership Group - Secrets to Scaling: https://www.facebook.com/groups/businessownershipsecretstoscalingLooking to scale your business? Get free gifts here to help you on your way: https://www.awarenessstrategies.com/
Coach Lee Hopkins helps people take their social connections to the next level. Whether you want to feel more included at work, meet an activity buddy, or make a close friend to share your deepest thoughts with, he can help. He owns a social connections coaching company called Patterns of Possibility where he helps his clients find fulfilling social connections and meaningful relationships with a simple 3-step process. Have you ever wondered why students say they're friends, but don't act like they're friends with each other in middle school and potentially high school? Have you also seen students struggle with how to engage, and how to be friends with each other? I learned so much from Coach Lee about friendships and if you're like me as a parent and or teacher, you see a lot of friendship challenges in schools with teenagers. Coach Lee presents different perspectives on friendship. We talk a little bit about consent. We talk about why it's important to release control in our classrooms, to draw kids in, not push them away. Coach Lee is the owner of Patterns of Possibilities and a Friendship Coach. I loved how he shares that it seemed like everybody else knew what they were doing in making friends, and I was the only one who didn't. You're not the only one who doesn't know. We're all just trying to figure it out. Coach Lee helps me understand how some friends can be so mean to each other. He gives advice on how as an educator you might be able to mediate for a teen who doesn't understand why people don't want to be friends with them, from his personal experience. As a young teen Coach Lee did not know college was a possibility for him, and we explore why he felt that way, and how college allowed him to redefine the rules he felt constricted him from being himself. He shares a couple of terms with me as a parent and educator to understand rules and boundaries. Your needs, negotiables, and never. Giving students the understanding of how these terms can help them navigate consent and how to bring that into the home and classroom to give the tools to young teens and young adults to use as needed. You can find Coach Lee at Website: https://www.patternsofpossibility.com/ Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/patternsofpossibility TikTok:https://www.tiktok.com/@patternsofpossibility LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/patternsofpossibility/
In this episode, Spencer Bishins, a former Social Security employee and author of 'Social Security Field', reveals the truth about the agency's financial incentive to deny claims and explains the steps to successfully navigate the complex process to access disability benefits. "Once you understand the process and the barriers Social Security has in place, you can navigate the system and access the benefits you deserve." Spencer Bishins is a disability expert with a Master's degree from the London School of Economics, a law degree from Florida State University, and over 10 years of experience working for the Social Security Administration. He has written the book Social Security Disability Revealed to demystify the complicated disability system. Spencer Bishins sold a lot of books about Social Security, and then noticed a financial incentive for Social Security to deny applications. Through his experience rating and reviewing thousands of decisions, he saw that no one was providing a comprehensive guide to the process. He wrote a book to help people figure out the process, to understand that Social Security has a financial incentive to deny as many claims as possible, and to recognize that Congress has the power to adjust the system's financial situation. With this knowledge, Spencer believes that people can navigate the system and access the benefits they need. In this episode, you will learn the following: 1. What are the financial incentives behind Social Security's disability program? 2. How can Immigration affect the Social Security trust fund? 3. What should people know about the Social Security disability application process before applying? Resources: Official Website: www.bishinspublishing.com Facebook: @bishinspublishing Other episodes you'll enjoy: 1. Kevin McShan's Story of Success Despite Having Cerebral Palsy 2. Coach Lee Hopkins and The 30 Day Friendship Challenge 3. Kintsugi Talks with Saroya Brown Connect with me: Website: https://www.nickyasherbowling.com Loved this episode? Leave us a review and rating here: https://open.spotify.com/show/4Hz9jKQuSro2uKXAtwJmLt How to rate a podcast on Spotify? Navigate to the podcast on Spotify (not to a specific episode) and tap the star icon underneath the podcast description. On Spotify, you need to listen to at least one episode before you can rate the podcast. You can currently only rate a podcast in the Spotify mobile app. --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/itsgoingtobeokay/message
If you are struggling to find your "authentic self" then you are going to struggle in finding authentic relationships. Whatever those relationships are, they are not going to be all they can possibly be if you're not comfortable in your own skin. Coach Lee Hopkins knows this himself. He is a transgender man that felt the loneliness within and struggled with how everyone else told him he should feel. It wasn't until he discovered how to lean into himself and become comfortable with who he was that he truly began to reap the benefits of a more empowering life. Today, Coach Lee helps has dedicated his life to helping others overcome the loneliness that comes from not making close friends. He believes that life feels more complete when you have people to share it with. And I'm sure you'd all agree. Coach Lee is here to help others create the fulfilling friendships and relationships that they truly deserve. Coach Lee's contact info: Patternsofpossibility.com Love Yourself First 3 day event: Patternsofpossibility.com/loveyourselffirst Podcast: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/patterns-of-possibility/id1522917309 My website: https://ungraduated.com Ungraduated Book: https://www.amazon.com/Ungraduated-Finding-dropping-outdated-systems-ebook/dp/B09SXCBY6R/ref=sr_1_1?crid=28QTYUU7T5BN4&keywords=ungraduated+book&qid=1655499090&sprefix=ungraduate%2Caps%2C122&sr=8-1 Join the Ungraduated Living Community: https://www.facebook.com/groups/454790476338234
Coach Lee Hopkins is a transgender man who helps people create lasting friendships. After struggling with loneliness most of his life, he's developed various ways to discover himself in it. In this episode, we talk about being a friend to yourself, specifically moving from loneliness to connectedness without sacrificing your sense of self.Full video: http://bit.ly/selftalkhopkins• Subscribe on YouTube or wherever you get podcasts •More from Coach Lee:Website: https://www.patternsofpossibility.com/ Reddit: https://www.reddit.com/user/BrilliantNResilientTikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@patternsofpossibility IG: https://www.instagram.com/patternsofpossibility YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCk_sXvnjqwhFlpI-NYV845g Facebook: https://fb.me/Patternsofpossibility Podcast: https://anchor.fm/patternsofpossibility Twitter: https://twitter.com/PatternsPossiEmail: patternsofpossibility@gmail.comGot a question about your self? Send it to me at rachel@selftalkpodcast.com and it may be featured on a future episode. Support the showMusic:"Ave Marimba"Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com)Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 3.0
Tune in with us and discuss how to overcome loneliness, how to make friends and finding tribe. He also gave ya girl a personal session as well! Coach Lee Hopkins handles: Website: www.patternsofpossibility.com Instagram: @patternsofpossibiilty Facebook, Twitter, Youtube and Apple Podcast: @Patterns Of Possibility Schedule A Free Close Connections Assessment, scroll down below and you find the booking information to connect with Coach Lee. Handles you can find me at: Anchor: Can I Talk A Lil Ish Spotify: Can I Talk A Lil Ish Castbox: Can I Talk A Lil Ish Apple Podcast: Can I Talk A Lil Ish and where ever else you find podcast Facebook(group): Hey, Hey Y'all Instagram: can_i_talk_alil_ish Twitter: SheShe Beau Email: sheshebeaupod@gmail.com Voice Message Link: https://anchor.fm/sheshebeau18/message --- This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/sheshebeau18/message
Join special guest co-host Rosanne Neiboer, of The Chakra Way Podcast, and our guest, Coach Lee Hopkins. Coach Lee helps people create lasting friendships. He's also transgender. For several years, he didn't have supportive people who knew the real him in his life and found himself very lonely. Since then, he has dedicated his life to helping others overcome the loneliness that comes from not making close friends.Learn more about Lee here: https://www.patternsofpossibility.com/morepossibilitySign up to his email list to get your free copy of 10 TIPS TO MAKING MEMORABLE CONVERSATIONS. This powerful list of 10 Tips will have you making meaningful conversation in no time.Plus, you can sign up for his free course: Understanding Connections. This essential course is packed full of 19 powerful lessons that will provide you with all the basics you need to get what you REALLY want from your friendships, relationships and other connections.Prefer to watch us on YouTube? Watch this episode on our Spirit Cafe Channel! Learn more about your host, Tamara Zoner, at www.tamarazoner.com or on YouTube Please "like" & subscribe to help us grow!#spirituality #podcast #money #relationships #wealth #authenticconversations #happiness #wellbeing #selflove #selfcare #transformational @podpro #podmatch The views of Spirit Cafe guests do not reflect the views of Tamara Zoner or A Life You Love Now, LLC. Learn more about Tamara Zoner at her website and take the ASEA journey with her! Watch her on YouTube or Find her on FB, IG, or LI. Tamara Zoner is an Award-Winning Keynote Speaker & Happiness Trainer who helps people struggling in transition to cultivate deeper connections to themselves & others so that they can create a life they love, now! She teaches the skills and habits of happiness to individuals, groups, and organizations virtually and in-person all over the world. The views expressed by Spirit Cafe guests do not reflect the views of Tamara or A Life You Love Now, LLC. #podcast #podmatch #spirituality #happiness #wellbeing #authenticconversations #authenticity #realtalk #deepconversations #feelgoodpodcast #coaching #lifecoach #coachtam #keynotespeaker #positivity #personaldevelopment #overcominghardship #divorce #intuition #psychic #channeling #intuitive #fun
Ninety-nine percent of the problem with developing lasting friendships and meaningful relationships is that don't put ourselves in the "right" place to meet the right people to make the friendships we want. We end up in the wrong place so often because we're afraid, to be honest with ourselves about what we really want. Coach Lee Hopkins is here to help you to learn how to create meaningful relationships. He is also a transman. While being trans is not the crux of my message, by sharing it as part of his journey he is able to demonstrate vulnerability which helps build the intimacy needed to develop deeper relationships. To learn more
Ninety-nine percent of the problem with developing lasting friendships and meaningful relationships is that don't put ourselves in the "right" place to meet the right people to make the friendships we want. We end up in the wrong place so often because we're afraid, to be honest with ourselves about what we really want. Coach Lee Hopkins is here to help you to learn how to create meaningful relationships. He is also a transman. While being trans is not the crux of my message, by sharing it as part of his journey he is able to demonstrate vulnerability which helps build the intimacy needed to develop deeper relationships. To learn more
This is a Season 3 Pre-Season Bonus: I am happy to have my first Transgender Guest and fellow traveler on the "Is That SOO?" podcast, Coach Lee Hopkins. Coach Lee says this episode isn't just for members of the LGBTQ community. It is one for everyone. Coach Lee brings an authentic perspective and testimony of his journey, physically, mentally, and spiritually, to finding his authentic tribe. "Coach Lee Hopkins (he/him/his) is a transgender man who helps people create lasting friendships. After struggling with loneliness most of his life, he's tried various ways to resolve it without success. However, on his journey to make friends, he discovered that the more he learned about himself, the better he was able to connect with others. He'll show us how this is possible for everyone." Outline 0:09 - The theme for this episode is “Shadow Work”. 2:24 - First transgender guest on the podcast . . . 6:59 - Finding a tribe in Chicago. 14:38 - Rejection is the cosmic response to the type of protection we need. 17:56 - If he had said anything else to me, I would have been so desperate to feel less lonely to feel accepted by people. 22:13 - How do you create an environment that's affirming enough to assist a trans person? 28:27 - What's so threatening about women and black men? 32:03 - How do you feel safe? 36:50 - The fear is a fear of the unknown. 41:02 - How to operate in love without sacrificing love. To Contact Coach Lee: https://www.patternsofpossibility.com/guestinformation Social Media Links: Website: https://www.patternsofpossibility.com/ Reddit: https://www.reddit.com/user/BrilliantNResilient TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@patternsofpossibility IG: https://www.instagram.com/patternsofpossibility YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCk_sXvnjqwhFlpI-NYV845g Facebook: https://fb.me/Patternsofpossibility Podcast: https://anchor.fm/patternsofpossibility Twitter: https://twitter.com/PatternsPossi Email: patternsofpossibility@gmail.com Connect with Harry: LinkedIn | Facebook | Instagram "Is That SOO?" Podcast Platforms: Apple Podcast Audible Spotify Podbay TuneIn Website ListenNotes PlayerFM Google Podcast Start your Journey: becomeanoutlier.com/links If you enjoyed the show, be sure to share this episode and leave us a review wherever you listen to podcasts! Agape Copyright 2022 @ School of Outliers, LLC. All rights reserved. Any illegal reproduction of this content in any form will result in immediate action against the person concerned. Adult Language and Content may, or may not, be used in videos on this channel and/or other platforms. Please Read Disclaimer Info: https://www.becomeanoutlier.com/terms-conditions Disclaimer: No statement on this website/livestreams/podcasts/any other presentation of intellectual property is intended to imply that any person should seek services or treatment or used in place of treatment recommended by an accredited health care provider. Any questions you may have concerning topics addressed in this website should be directed to your healthcare professional. The videos on this platform are for entertainment/information only. The views and opinions expressed by The “Is That SOO?” Show Guests are the views of the Guest and theirs alone. They do not necessarily reflect the position of The Nocturnal Therapist/School of Outliers, LLC. Any content provided by our Guests or authors are of their opinion, and are not intended to malign any religion, ethnic group, club, organization, company, individual or anyone or anything.
Coach Lee Hopkins, the founder of Patterns of Possibility and the podcast host of The Patterns of Possibility, joins Chelsea for a powerful conversation about coming out of hiding once and for all, vocalizing and embodying your truth, the origins of loneliness and the catalysts for joy, the boundaries framework of needs, negotiables, and nevers, the relationship between love and understanding, what it actually takes to choose someone confidently, how following your intuition will support you in not rejecting yourself in the next stage of your life, and so much more.Lee HopkinsWebsite: PatternsOfPossibility.comPodcast: The Patterns of PossibilityeBook: Flourishing Friendships: How To Make Friendships FastInstagram: www.instagram.com/patternsofpossibilityPlus: Courses, Coaching, Friendship ChallengeChelsea Leigh TrescottWebsite: https://breakupward.comAdvice Column: https://www.huffpost.comWriting: https://thoughtcatalog.com/chelsea-leigh-trescottInstagram: https://www.instagram.com/thankyouheartbreakFacebook: https://www.facebook.com/musingsEmail: chelsea@breakupward.com
Coach Lee Hopkins is a transgender man who spent the majority of his life feeling alone and misunderstood. Thinking he just hadn't found his tribe yet, he made a couple of major moves across the country, only to find that he still wasn't making friends easily wherever he went. He recognized that the problem was stemming from within him, and he bravely did the inner work to recognize and resolve the issues that were blocking him from connecting with others. Now he is passionate about helping others through their own self-imposed, hidden blockages which are keeping them from forging meaningful relationships. This is an important episode not only because of Coach Lee's story and experience, but for the wisdom he brings forth toward the end about allowing grace for everyone through our communication with each other. What small steps did Coach Lee do to draw more connections and friendships into his life? How did his experiencing his greatest fear (rejection) actually help him enormously? What benefits have been experienced through transitioning to being male, and what things didn't work out the way he expected? Coach Lee beautifully highlights the importance of asking questions so we can better know and learn from each other, rather than being offended that someone doesn't already have the answers or being too scared to ask questions. www.patternsofpossibility.com IG: @patternsofpossibility Other episodes you'll enjoy: 196. Wisdom Hidden in Trauma - Stacia Aashna 187. Ancient Practice of Non-Duality - James Beshara 192. Multidimensionality Through Plants - Michael Thornhill Connect with me: themeditationconversation@gmail.com www.karagoodwin.com IG: @kara_goodwin_meditation FB: @karagoodwinmeditation Loved this episode? Leave us a review and rating here: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-meditation-conversation-podcast/id1442136034
Welcome to Linda's corner. In this episode, Coach Lee Hopkins explains how to overcome loneliness by creating better friendships. Coach Lee is a friendship and transformational coach, and also the founder of Patterns of Possibility. You can reach Coach Lee at his website https://www.patternsofpossibility.com. Some of the highlights Coach Lee shares:The 3 social myths that may be preventing you from making lasting friendshipsWhy "trying to be what you think they want you to be" doesn't work"Chameleon" behavior vs. "authentic" behavior and what kind of friendships they createHow to create "value based" discussions to find common interestsHow to clarify our needs by categorizing experiences. Do I want this to occur always, never, or is it negotiable? Why setting boundaries is all about learning how to say "yes" to ourselvesBEAT coaching: Beliefs, Emotions, Actions, ThoughtsAnd morePlease share, subscribe, leave a rating and review, visit the Linda's Corner website at lindascornerpodcast.com and/or follow on youtube, facebook, instagram, and pinterest @lindascornerpodcast. Thanks!Also please visit the Hope for Healing website at hopeforhealingfoundation.org for free resources to increase happiness, build confidence and self esteem, improve relationships, manage stress, and calm feelings of depression and anxiety.
Coach Lee Hopkins, a transgender man, tells the story of his transformational journey from hiding his true self to becoming a coach and teaching others how to make friends. He shares solutions to find the connection, friendship, and community you desire. " The most important thing is to be yourself and to know that that's enough."—Coach LeeCoach Lee Hopkins is a transformational coach who helps people make friends and connect with others. He transitioned from female to male at age 32 and thought that would make him feel comfortable enough to make friends-being his authentic self. But he felt even more alone after transitioning. He eventually learned that he first had to own who he was-his authentic self before he could make intimate connections with other people. This is Coach Lee Hopkins's story—Coach Lee Hopkins has had a transformational journey, from being disconnected from people to coaching others on how to make friends. He realized that he was hiding from others, preventing him from making connections. He has since learned to accept himself and share his story with others to create meaningful relationships. He offers a free 5-Day Challenge that helps you how to make meaningful connections by identifying your history, hobbies, and habits In this episode, you will learn: How Coach Lee Hopkins transitioned from female to male later in life and the challenges he faced in doing so How Coach Lee dealt with rejection after coming out as transgender to friends and family, and what he learned from the experiences The steps to take to find the connection, friendships, and community you desire. Links for Coach Lee:Website: https://www.patternsofpossibility.com/guestinformation (PatternsofPossibility.com) TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@patternsofpossibility (@PatternsofPossibility) Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/patternsofpossibility/ (@PatternsofPossibilty) Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCk_sXvnjqwhFlpI-NYV845g?view_as=subscriber (@PatternsofPossibility) Twitter: https://twitter.com/PatternsPossi (@PatternsofPossi) Podcast: Patterns of Possibility Free Course: https://patternsofpossibility.thinkific.com/courses/understandingconnections (Understanding Connections) Other Butterfly Kisses Episodes you'll enjoy:Eps. 7. https://player.captivate.fm/episode/e0d246b9-b1e6-45f9-9b2e-0a7dfb0c50cf (Life Is For the Living) Eps. 28. https://player.captivate.fm/episode/f9c60e0f-538e-4c64-8c57-4dd8cef0fb71 (Everyone Can Communicate With The Spirit World) Eps. 31. https://player.captivate.fm/episode/7bcaec76-19db-4541-8d54-9aa2dbd8730e (A Pathway to Insight with Ann Hince) Beginner's Meditation WorkshopHave you tried to meditate, but the noise in your head won't cooperate? Or you've heard about meditation but don't understand all the hype and are not sure it's for you? Then is workshop is for you! You will learn: What meditation is and the physical, mental, and spiritual benefits. My mind won't quiet down. How can I meditate with all the chatter in my head? The many different forms of meditation and how to do each. Which form of meditation works best for you? Date: Saturday, October 15, 2022 Time: 1:00pm- 3:00pm Location: Sanctuary Imports, 822 Lamar Ave., Charlotte, 28205 Investment: $25 https://my.captivate.fm/bit.ly/ABeginnerMediationWorkshop (Reserve Your Seat Now!) Loved this episode? Leave us a review and rating here: https://podcasts.apple.com/ca/podcast/butterfly-kisses/id1561256027 (Apple Podcast Reviews) and https://www.podchaser.com/podcasts/butterfly-kisses-1841572 (PodChaser ) Connect with Amy:Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/amygraycunningham/ (AmyGrayCunningham) Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/amygraycunningham (AmyGrayCunningham) YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCnvTs4Vmm7FJFkbPmqG9Hzg (AmyGrayCunningham) Twitter: https://twitter.com/AmyCunnningham1 (AmyCunningham1) LinkedIn:...
Think Unbroken with Michael Unbroken | CPTSD, TRAUMA and Mental Health Healing Podcast
Join our FREE COMMUNITY as a member of the Unbroken Nation: https://www.thinkunbrokenacademy.com/share/AEGok414shubQSzq?utm_source=manual Join us for our FREE trauma Transformation conference this November at: MYUNBROKENLIFE.COM Authenticity is a huge part of someone's journey, and for myself and many of you, as I'm sure you would probably guess, being able to step into authenticity is the truest sense of ownership, healing, to live life on your terms. And that's very much the experience and journey for Coach Lee Hopkins, a transgender man who helps people create lasting friendships. After a massive struggle of identity and trying to figure out who they were, there was an amazing turning of events of finding self-love, compassion, empathy, help, support, community, growth, and ultimately the willingness to step into just radical authenticity and the willingness to stand strong in who they are that became the precedent for this beautiful change and the empowerment that they've been able to give other people to create change in their life as well. I was very much looking forward to this conversation and excited to share with you today Unbroken Nation. ************* LINKS & RESOURCES ************* Learn how to heal and overcome childhood trauma, narcissistic abuse, ptsd, cptsd, higher ACE scores, anxiety, depression, and mental health issues and illness. Learn tools that therapists, trauma coaches, mindset leaders, neuroscientists, and researchers use to help people heal and recover from mental health problems. Discover real and practical advice and guidance for how to understand and overcome childhood trauma, abuse, and narc abuse mental trauma. Heal your body and mind, stop limiting beliefs, end self-sabotage, and become the HERO of your own story. Download the first three chapters of the Award-Winning Book Think Unbroken: Understanding and Overcoming Childhood Trauma: https://book.thinkunbroken.com/ Join the Think Unbroken Trauma Transformation Course: https://coaching.thinkunbroken.com/ @Michael Unbroken: https://www.instagram.com/michaelunbroken/ Follow us on TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@michaelunbroken Learn more at https://www.thinkunbrokenpodcast.com Learn more about Lee Hopkins at: https://www.patternsofpossibility.com/
Join our FREE COMMUNITY as a member of the Unbroken Nation: Join us for our FREE trauma Transformation conference this November at: Authenticity is a huge part of someone's journey, and for myself and many of you, as I'm sure you would probably guess, being able to step into authenticity is the truest sense of ownership, healing, to live life on your terms. And that's very much the experience and journey for Coach Lee Hopkins, a transgender man who helps people create lasting friendships. After a massive struggle of identity and trying to figure out who they were, there was an amazing turning of events of finding self-love, compassion, empathy, help, support, community, growth, and ultimately the willingness to step into just radical authenticity and the willingness to stand strong in who they are that became the precedent for this beautiful change and the empowerment that they've been able to give other people to create change in their life as well. I was very much looking forward to this conversation and excited to share with you today Unbroken Nation. ************* LINKS & RESOURCES ************* Learn how to heal and overcome childhood trauma, narcissistic abuse, ptsd, cptsd, higher ACE scores, anxiety, depression, and mental health issues and illness. Learn tools that therapists, trauma coaches, mindset leaders, neuroscientists, and researchers use to help people heal and recover from mental health problems. Discover real and practical advice and guidance for how to understand and overcome childhood trauma, abuse, and narc abuse mental trauma. Heal your body and mind, stop limiting beliefs, end self-sabotage, and become the HERO of your own story. Download the first three chapters of the Award-Winning Book Think Unbroken: Understanding and Overcoming Childhood Trauma: Join the Think Unbroken Trauma Transformation Course: @Michael Unbroken: Follow us on TikTok: Learn more at Learn more about Lee Hopkins at:
The band is back! Kristine makes her return to the podcast and asks Kris why he decided to try and replace her on last week's episode. Kris has decided to branch out with Podtastic Audio. He is going to try his hand at "coaching" others on how to podcast. This week we were joined by Coach Lee Hopkins of Patterns of Possibility. https://www.patternsofpossibility.com My name is Coach Lee. I help people create lasting friendships and... I'm also transgender. For several years, l didn't have supportive people who knew the real me in my life. I always thought that I knew what to do when it comes to making friends BUT many times, even though I had friends, I found myself very lonely. That's because when it comes to making friends – I mean really building meaningful friendships and relationships, I was doing more damage than I realized. Since then, I have dedicated my life to helping others overcome the loneliness that comes from not making close friends. I believe that life feels more complete when you have people to share it with. Don't you agree? I'm here to help others create the fulfilling friendships and relationships that they deserve. Website: https://www.patternsofpossibility.com/ Reddit: https://www.reddit.com/user/BrilliantNResilient TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@patternsofpossibility IG: https://www.instagram.com/patternsofpossibility YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCk_sXvnjqwhFlpI-NYV845g Facebook: https://fb.me/Patternsofpossibility Podcast: https://anchor.fm/patternsofpossibility Twitter: https://twitter.com/PatternsPossi Email: patternsofpossibility@gmail.com ***** The Kris and Kristine Show ***** http://www.krisandkristineshow.com https://www.kristinesmithdesigns.com K2 RADIO: https://live365.com/station/K2-RADIO-a04551 Email: krisandkristinepodcast@gmail.com Voice Mail: https://www.speakpipe.com/KrisandKristineShow Twitter: https://twitter.com/k2showsandiego Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/thek2showsandiego/?hl=en Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/k2showsandiego Patreon: www.patreon.com/thekrisandkristineshow
This episode Murph is joined by Coach Lee Hopkins a transman who speaks about his journey in life as an entrepreneur, making connections while sharing when its time to love yourself before anything else! Tune In! Is It ok to have more than one barber? Did Murph bring out the Kleenex? Follow Coach Lee: Instagram: @PatternsofPossibility www.pattersofpossibility.com Follow Murph: Twitter: @ItsDMurph Instagram: @ItsDMurph Follow Flagrant 2: Instagram: @Flagrant2pod_ www.dmurphspeaks.com
Check it out on Spotify: https://spoti.fi/33Z4VsE Check it out on Apple: https://apple.co/3AHc2DT My name is Coach Lee. I help people create lasting friendships and... I'm also transgender. For several years, l didn't have supportive people who knew the real me in my life. I always thought that I knew what to do when it comes to making friends BUT many times, even though I had friends, I found myself very lonely. That's because when it comes to making friends – I mean really building meaningful friendships and relationships, I was doing more damage than I realized. Since then, I have dedicated my life to helping others overcome the loneliness that comes from not making close friends. I believe that life feels more complete when you have people to share it with. Don't you agree? I'm here to help others create the fulfilling friendships and relationships that they deserve. Dreams: Push the narrative that boundaries are about saying yes to yourself and not no to others. Making the idea of self-discovery a paramount concept in the world. How you can Help: Thich Nhat Hanh - See Coach Lee's blindspots and tell him. Sit down and Relax Favorite Book, Movie, or Podcast: Everything, Everywhere, all at once. (Movie) Contact them at: https://www.patternsofpossibility.com/morepossibility
Check it out on Spotify: https://spoti.fi/33Z4VsE Check it out on Apple: https://apple.co/3AHc2DT My name is Coach Lee. I help people create lasting friendships and... I'm also transgender. For several years, l didn't have supportive people who knew the real me in my life. I always thought that I knew what to do when it comes to making friends BUT many times, even though I had friends, I found myself very lonely. That's because when it comes to making friends – I mean really building meaningful friendships and relationships, I was doing more damage than I realized. Since then, I have dedicated my life to helping others overcome the loneliness that comes from not making close friends. I believe that life feels more complete when you have people to share it with. Don't you agree? I'm here to help others create the fulfilling friendships and relationships that they deserve. Dreams: Push the narrative that boundaries are about saying yes to yourself and not no to others. Making the idea of self-discovery a paramount concept in the world. How you can Help: Thich Nhat Hanh - See Coach Lee's blindspots and tell him. Sit down and Relax Favorite Book, Movie, or Podcast: Everything, Everywhere, all at once. (Movie) Contact them at: https://www.patternsofpossibility.com/morepossibility
Coach Lee Hopkins (he/him/his) is a transgender man who helps people create lasting friendships. After struggling with loneliness most of his life, he's tried various ways to resolve it— including moving across the US to find his tribe and fit in. He's learned that the key to creating meaningful relationships is not “fitting in” or “finding your tribe”, it's about attracting your vibe. He'll show us how this is possible for everyone. Website: https://www.patternsofpossibility.com/ Reddit: https://www.reddit.com/user/BrilliantNResilient TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@patternsofpossibility IG: https://www.instagram.com/patternsofpossibility
Welcome to Part #2 of “Releasing Grudges,” Episode #81 of Co-creating Peace, a series about conscious communication and conflict transformation. Today, Coach Lee Hopkins and I continue our conversation about grudges. Last week, we talked about what we might do to help others release their grudge against us. Now we'll discuss how each of us might work through the grudges we have against others.Coach Lee Hopkins (he/him/his) is a transgender man who helps people create lasting friendships. You can learn more about Lee and his work by visiting his website, patternsofpossibility.com, where you will find on the More Possibility page a free course called "Understanding Connections" and a free resource titled "10 Tips to Making Memorable Conversations" as well as many other insights, tools and resources. Just go to: patternsofpossibility.com/morepossibility
We all have our own struggles and different ways of dealing with them. Some of us choose to expose our vulnerability by connecting with others and drawing strength from our relationships. Others face the challenges head-on and without reservations, while the rest of us deal with them on our own. Either way, we will have different experiences with people and may not share the same opinion about them. At some point, we choose not to express our views and show who we are for fear of being judged and labeled as problematic. In this episode, Coach Lee Hopkins shares insights on how problematic is being perceived and how self-discovery, staying authentic to ourselves and respecting our differences can help us resolve our conflicting impressions or ideas so we can agree to disagree. He also talks about board game meetups, developing vulnerability and intimacy with yourself and others, and why we need to defeat shame, build self-esteem, and set boundaries. After all, everyone is entitled to their own opinion. Love the show? Subscribe, rate, review, and share!Here's How »Join the This Might Get Uncomfortable community today:wellevatr.comWellevatr FacebookWellevatr TwitterWellevatr Instagram
Have you thought about how your past history, hobbies, and habits make you who you are. They could be good things or they might be soemthing to work on. Knowing who you are is so essential to stepping into your purpose here and the key to finding lasting relationships. Tune in to Lesley and Brad's conversation recaping the importance of uncovering yourself to find your people and change your life. If you have any questions about this episode or want to get some of the resources we mentioned, head over to LesleyLogan.co/podcast. If you have any comments or questions about the Be It pod shoot us a message at beit@lesleylogan.co . And as always, if you're enjoying the show please share it with someone who you think would enjoy it as well. It is your continued support that will help us continue to help others. Thank you so much! Never miss another show by subscribing at LesleyLogan.co/subscribe.In this episode you will learn about:The value in a scheduling tool How do you get to Cambodia and tips for international travel How to allow rejection to grow youHow hiding your truth is keeping you stagnant and from genuine relationshipsTo be yourself, you have to learn about yourselfEpisode References/Links:Replay of Profitable Pilates Free WebinarBe It Pod Survey!Cambodia Retreat If you enjoyed this episode, make sure and give us a five star rating and leave us a review on iTunes, Podcast Addict, Podchaser or Castbox.Be It Till You See It Podcast SurveyResourcesWatch the Be It Till You See It podcast on YouTube!Lesley Logan websiteBe It Till You See It PodcastOnline Pilates Classes by Lesley LoganOnline Pilates Classes by Lesley Logan on YouTubeProfitable PilatesSocial MediaInstagramFacebookLinkedInEpisode Transcript:Lesley Logan And I'm having headphone problems. That's fine. We're good now. How are they twisted? How does that happen? How does that happen? They literally just set them down and then they tangle that. It's like, it's like a like it's like the same thing with your like headphones with Apple. It's like you just put them down and then they're like a ball of yarn. Anyways my virtual problems over here.Welcome to the Be It Till You See It podcast where we talk about taking messy action, knowing that perfect is boring. I'm Lesley Logan, Pilates instructor and fitness business coach. I've trained thousands of people around the world and the number one thing I see stopping people from achieving anything is self doubt. My friends, action brings clarity and it's the antidote to fear. Each week, my guests will bring Bold, Executable, Intrinsic and Targeted steps that you can use to put yourself first and Be It Till You See It. It's a practice, not a perfect. Let's get started.Welcome back to the Be It Till You See It interview recap for my co host in life, Brad Crowell and I are going to have a meet where we're going, we're gonna dig in. we're gonna dig into the meaningful convo I had with Coach Lee Hopkins in our last episode. If you haven't yet listened that interview, go back, listen to it. There's full surprises, full of like, just some really amazing vulnerable moments, I think we all can relate to, no matter who you are, or (Brad: Yeah) what you do in this world. And I've been we traveled a course of their life. And I am just, I could have kept going. It was a little hard. Like, I think we had to stop now. It ... (Lesley laughs)Brad Crowell It was it was a really well, meaningful convo. But I loved the all the different, actual, like, specifics of action items that Coach Lee had to share. I really enjoyed the conversation. (Lesley: Yeah) It was it was amazing.Lesley Logan So yesterday, we had this amazing free webinar over at Profitable Pilates. I get a lot of questions. I have, first of all, a lot of people either overpaying for scheduling tools, so yeah, at least you have something. But there is too much. It's not working for them. And so you know, and most of them don't even know how to get their clients to use it. And they're afraid of losing their clients or making them use it. And then a ton of people don't think they're tech savvy enough, or don't think their business is in air quotes "big enough" to have a scheduling tool. (Brad: Sure) And so I just had a really fun time, like, explaining to people all the reasons why you need to have a scheduling tool, what you need to do to search for one, to make sure you pick one that works for you. And then also why mine is amazing. (Lesley laughs) So you can get all of that for free. If you go to profitablepilates.com/answer. And whether or not use my scheduling tool is fine. Like, look, we can't be all things to all people. Mine is friggin awesome. It has contracts, by the way to save you time and money. But I really am, I'm on a mission to help more bodies doing Pilates. And if you don't have all the clients that you want to teach on this planet, you're you're not helping me with my mission. So I got to help you teach other people you want to teach. And it's not enough for your scheduling to be full. I also want you to have a frickin life. I want you to have balance. I want you to time away from your business. And I want you to have clients that respect you. So you need to school, you need a tool. So go to profitablepilates.com/answer because that's what I did yesterday and you can watch the replay.Brad Crowell Yeah, yeah, definitely. I love digging into this topic because I think the the we've been coaching people for years. And we've coached literally more than 1000 business owners now. And two things come up consistently. One is people are afraid to pay for tools ...Lesley Logan Of any kind, just any kind.Brad Crowell I mean, literally fucking credit card transactions, that one blows my mind. It is normal cost of doing business period, there's no question you will pay a credit card transaction fee somewhere.Lesley Logan And also, that's not new. This is decades old. (Brad: Yeah) It's a write off, pay the transaction fee, build it into your cost.Brad Crowell It's literally as you can give. So if you charge $1, but you only get 97 cents, which is the way it works. That 3% that three cents, you actually still charged. So on your your taxes, that is considered a banking fee that you had to pay. And it's a write off. (Lesley: Yeah) So don't be afraid of credit card transactions. Okay ... I didn't even take the time to go on a rant. The second thing is people don't look at themselves as if they are quote enough, a big enough business or a legitimate business enough to warrant a tool like this and these two myths, one that you aren't big enough to pay for a tool and two, that you're not big enough to even use a tool. They're myths, they're myths, because you can make your life easier and have a more a smoother functioning business experience when you have tools that will support you doing those things. Imagine being a graphic designer who never bought Photoshop. That's the dumbest thing, right? Of course, you have Photoshop, if you're a graphic designer, it is a given. Imagine being a musician, but you didn't buy a keyboard. How are you going to do that? You have to buy the tools, you have to have the tools to be able to function in the art that you're doing. Right? In the same way you are running a business as a fitness business owner. And so you there's no reason you shouldn't also have the tools.Lesley Logan And by the way, you can have the tools and people can pay cash, and it's the same price, you can charge them the same price. And so they go, "What if I pay cash?" Yeah, that's the price, I still have to run it through the government, the government still has to know how many dollars I took in. (Brad: Yeah) So you need a scheduling tool. (Brad: Yeah) You need one. I don't care if you teach five hours a week, you deserve to teach five hours week, but not spend five hours additional a week to do the thinking and the scheduling and the rescheduling and the (Brad: the rescheduling) admin and the ...Brad Crowell and the texting of your clients. And then oh, but one client likes to email you instead. You know, I mean ... (Lesley laughs) Right. It's so there's, there's all of that admin time, it actually, it's not even that it takes a lot of time, because that's the that's another story we tell ourselves. It's like, "Oh, it's not that big a deal. I can deal with it." Right. But it's not even about the fact that you sit down and have to text them back or the fact that you have to email them back. It's about that mental checklist that you are building in your head that I have to do these things, and that actually wears on you, it creates stress over time that you don't even realize it's happening. Imagine if all that stuff was consolidated into one spot, and you didn't have to, in your mind, remember, "Oh, I got a text sounds over here. I got an email. So it's over there. I gotta call this person." Like ...Lesley Logan And they're like ... (Brad: You don't have to do that.) And also like, "Oh, a time opened up. I had to tell this person that time opened up." No, (Brad: Right) they can put themselves on a waitlist (Brad: Yeah) for the time that they want if you have a scheduling tool (Brad: Yeah) like ours that lets you do it. I'm just saying. I almost went down to like, I was about to give an example. I'm gonna give it to you anyways, we use a project management tool. And they're expensive when you find when to use like, you can use them for free when you're a loner. But when you start to add people to your team, they always charge you. (Brad: Yeah) So and it's like, you can justify like, "Oh, I don't want to spend this X amount of dollars, because I could just tell my assistant to do the thing." Yeah, but if every single week you do something, and then your assistant does something. The amount of time you spent, times that by 52 weeks. (Brad: Yeah) You know, you're talking hours and then ...And what if you have more than one person on your team? (Lesley: Yeah) Right. Like, you know, it becomes this compounding effect and it's the same thing ...And also you're gonna forget because you're not perfect. And that's okay because perfect is fucking boring. (Brad: Yeah) Anyways, we'll talk about scheduling tools in another day.Brad Crowell Okay. Where did they find that webinar?Oh, you go to profitablepilates.com, profitablepilates.com/answerprofitablepilates.com/answer. And you can watch that replay. It was a great time. One other super quick announcement, and we'll get going here is we really need your input for this podcast. So we really value you sharing with us how your experience, if you've loved the episodes, you know, and if you think that there's other things we can be doing that make it even more valuable for us. We're really interested in your feedback. So go to beitpod.com/tellme, beitpod.com/tellme and share with us your feedback about this podcast so far. This is episode 126. And we, you know, we can make we can make completely sweeping changes. But before we do anything like that, we would love to have you share your thoughts.Lesley Logan Yeah. So, I can't wait to hear what you're saying. Okay, our audience question this week is ... It's like a little Cardi B version.Brad Crowell I never traveled internationally. How hard is it to get to Cambodia?Lesley Logan So this is really fun because this is the response I got to us going to Cambodia and I first of all, I'm so loving that someone is like, "I've never traveled internationally like how do I get there?" I love that for you because everyone should do this. Everyone should travel internationally and ladies, every single one of you need to do a trip alone. And that trip alone could be with me. Because at least you're doing the like like you're traveling you're not like relying on waiting for a partner to go with you or something like that. Like you're like, take your signing yourself up for an adventure. You learn so much about yourself when you do that. (Brad: Yeah) So how hard is it to get there? Well, first of all, I don't know where you live. So that's a little tricky, but it's not that hard.Brad Crowell Yeah, it's not even I think that the thing that's daunting about it is the idea that you'll be on a plane for, you know, 11 hours or something. And I think that in, I remember, I'm thinking back to the very first time we drove, we drove, we drove across the Pacific, (Lesley laughs) we flew to Asia from Los Angeles, and I remember thinking like, "Holy cow, I don't know what it's gonna be like. I'm not sure that I'm, I'm like, ready to be on a plane for you know, 12 hours at a shot." And what, what, in my head I was telling myself, I'm in the backseat of my parent's mini van, you know, and I'm 13 years old and my sister and my brother are there and we have nowhere to go there's one bucket seat and like we're banging elbows with each other for the entire ride. That's like the that's like what was going through my mind, right? But in reality if you've never flown internationally before the planes are bigger than domestic planes.Lesley Logan Oh, my God. It's so amazing. I hate flying domestic like I hate it. I, even in Europe when you go from one country to another country that sorta, technically international when you're in the EU, those flights suck too. International flight (Brad: Yeah. They are small.) are better. Anytime the flight has to cross the ocean. It is the best, you will love it and also they get movies that are in the theater. They like like they get movies that are still in the theater, they get the best movies and they serve you too much food. So how difficult is it to get you in Cambodia? Look you will need a visa that is one of the hardest things if you've never done something like that you'll need a visa and a passport. So if you need a passport. But the ...Brad Crowell Visa, I don't know, if the visa is the hardest part, then traveling to Asia is so easy. (Lesley: It's so easy because ...) Because it was just an application form, it was like 36 bucks, they get back to you in three days. You could even get a visa when you land in Cambodia.Lesley Logan It's also like, you just go here's a picture of me for my passport and here's the dates I'm coming in. And here's the address, which is my house that you're staying at. Like, you know, the reason why we do the retreat the way we do it is because I want you leave, like take a flight after work on Friday. You'll get there with the time difference on Sunday. And then when you leave our house on Friday, if you decide to go other places I hope you do. We had this one mom who like never traveled internationally before by herself and she did and she like extended her trip with like four other places. But you can leave there on a Friday and be home on a Saturday see the whole day to get back and get used to like your current, your timezone at home. (Brad: Yeah) The the flights are ...Brad Crowell We try to be conscious of that so that you can like take one week off of work (Lesley: Yeah) if that's what you need to do. But if you want to stay, you're already over in Asia, you can.Lesley Logan And then hit real quick on this. My trick for traveling internationally is a suit whatever we get on the plane, I assume the timezone of where I'm going so that I don't actually have jetlag. And so like, if where are we, when we get on the plane, it's 11pm at night, our time and but it is like eight in the morning. Y'all if you hear dog stuff going on, these are not our dogs. And so just we're gonna leave it in because I gotta keep going. But the the I assume the timezone of where we're going so it's 8am there, I literally won't go to bed, Brad does. I like I stay up on like, it's the breakfast time I'm gonna have, I'll have coffee right now.Brad Crowell No. What I do is I sleep on the plane. Like if it's I'll try to assume the timezone on the plane still. So that way I can sleep for six hours before we get off the plane to 8am. (Lesley: Yeah.) And then I'm not like dead tired.Lesley Logan But my point is on that first leg, I assume it from that point on and so yes, that might mean that I'm like a little like bleary eyed and like watching a lot of movies. But then when it's like nighttime there I sleep on the plane on that time so that when we wait, we land, it's like, "Hey, I've been in this time for this whole time." And so I think you're, I think the, I think we put too much pressure like be build up the international travel be more than it is. It is like dealing. It's mostly like sitting on a long bus with great movies, and then standing in line ...Brad Crowell Yeah, great movies and they serve you food and their are drinks, come on. Lesley Logan And then you stand in a weird line and people stamp a couple things and then you're there and then you're there. So come it's not that hard to get to Cambodia. It's not that hard to do international travel. It just feels weird the first time and then you get really used to it and then any flight under 12 hours feels like a breeze.Brad Crowell Yeah, if you actually want to join us, you can just go to lesleylogan.co/retreat.Lesley Logan Okay, let's talk about Coach Lee.Brad Crowell Okay, now let's talk about Coach Lee Hopkins. As a man who spent his entire life seeking connection and friendships Coach Lee has made, has made it his life's mission, to help people feel more in tune with themselves so that they can connect easier with others. He leans in his experience as a trans man to help people change past patterns to live their truth and form meaningful relationships.Lesley Logan Yeah, I really, I really had a lot of fun as we said earlier in this episode. I had so much fun. I, Coach Lee, I hope that like we get to meet in real life. I hope we get to be friends. (Brad: Yeah) I hope that's not our last time having a conversation. It was just so fun to hear their journey. So one thing I love that they said was, how you allow rejection to grow you. So basically like, there was a lot of rejection in Coach Lee's life like, (Brad: Yeah) abundance amount of rejection. But instead of letting that like just live a lonely life of rejection, they actually figured out, he figured out like, what is this saying, and where am I going and what am I learning from this and it actually helped him grow and now he's doing this whole thing as a coach where he's really using that rejection to to change the trajectory of their path, and it's really, really cool. And it was a ... if you didn't listen to that part, you must listen to that part because it's so good. It's like it's just the best. So we've talked about the book before about rejection read ... I've talked about, we've talked about this before. So we've talked about Rejection Proof the book before, whose, by the way, the update on that author being on the pod, I got rejected. But it's not, it's not, it's not it never. It's just not right now. Anyways, I really, if you have a fear of rejection, I want you to do a rejection challenge. Brad actually has a course on 200 Noes if you need help with that. But it is, the more we can, you're going to be rejected more than you're not period. (Brad: Yeah) So the more you can actually excuse rejection to help you grow towards who you want to become in this world, the better. And I think Coach Lee is an example of that. So, I love that part.Brad Crowell Yeah, really. It's very much a part of life. Right. Rejection, we all know this. And his story was not just that he was being rejected. But he figured out why he was being rejected, which leads to... What I really liked to what he said, is that hiding your truth will keep you stagnant. And he was very much being rejected, because he was hiding his identity, hiding who he was, and, you know, as a trans man. And I think that was, I really connected with that, because I remember when I was going through my divorce, for the better part of a year, I didn't tell anyone, I didn't tell anybody. Like, it took me a long time to even tell my closest friends who knew something was clearly wrong. They're like, "What the hell man? Like, you're not you right now what's going on?" You know, and I was I was unwilling to share. I was hiding this and after I shared with them, they were very supportive and encouraging. But I still hid it from anyone else. I didn't tell my colleagues, I didn't, you know, I certainly wouldn't talk about it to, you know, random people, when I was walking around doing whatever, I would just avoid that. And the reality is, it was helping, sorry, it was exacerbating this guilt that I had, hiding. When I was hiding this, you know, what was happening to me? I was actually, like, in my mind, that was making it more of a monster than actually even was. And I think that we, we do that to ourselves without realizing it, (Lesley: Yeah) you know, as you begin to embrace the, the reality of these, you know, of who you are and what's happening in your life. Whether that is, you know, you actually being becoming yourself, your true self. Like, like Coach Lee has, or, in my case, hiding, you know hiding something that was so profound in my life, like getting a divorce from, from someone who was part of everything that I was doing in life, it will affect you, when you hide that stuff. By then you when you start to embrace it, and work through that in your own head, it changes the story that you're telling yourself, it changes the story that you're telling others, it changes the way others perceive you. Instead of going, something's wrong with Brad, they, they can instead go like because even if they don't know me, and they don't know that they're gonna pick up on something, (Lesley: Yeah) something's weird.Lesley Logan People are gonna, people people and also they people want to help you. Coach Lee ...Brad Crowell I'm not being genuine either.Lesley Logan No. But ... (Brad: You know when I'm hiding ...) Exactly. And that's and gonna people go, what's going on there. But also Coach Lee's friend is like, trying to give actual advice to make them feel better about their situation, but because they don't know the full story, the advice for that like, he probably was fucking great advice. But because Coach Lee is like you don't actually know the whole story. Coach Lee isn't even accepting the advice. So even if people (Brad: Right) are trying to be there for you, you're like, you don't know everything. So like it's it actually is keeping you from having real genuine relationships and also being exactly who you are. Like you're, it's affecting too many more compartments in your life rather than like, just you think it's all about you hiding something from other people, but protecting yourself but really, it's it's causing you to be protected from any experience of genuine around you.Brad Crowell Yeah, I mean, specifically, building relationships, which is what he focuses on. You know, when when it became clear that by being honest and open about who he is, then he had a much different experience, building relationships with people. And I think the same thing was like that for me too, with with when I started to openly, when I stopped hiding the fact that I was getting a divorce, I felt immeasurably better as a person because it didn't have this, you know, dark thing in the closet, that was like eating me from the inside. You know, instead, I didn't need to talk about it. I wasn't trying to air my dirty laundry that's not what I mean. But the fact that I was always hiding and strategically maneuvering a conversation to avoid that specific topic, you know, like, I didn't have to do that anymore. (Lesley: Yeah) And that was like, such a relief. And I think that it came across so much in my personality, and my, you know, again, being genuine and, and it allowed things to be easier. And, you know, (Lesley: Yeah, I hear you.) Yeah, she's better.Lesley Logan And, by the way, that's your, your version of hiding truth that's keeping you stagnant. If we're not relating, you're hiding your truth to anything that Coach Lee's hiding was. So just in case anyone's like, divorce is not the same as coming out as trans. We understand. (Brad: Yeah, yeah.) But I really think it's important that we share ...Brad Crowell I don't even think. Yeah, I'm not trying to compare apples to apples there. My point is, if you're hiding something, you know, and that, and that, I think is you... it could be anything. And you know, it could could be anything. So ...Lesley Logan Yeah. I agree. I concur.Brad Crowell I concur. All right. Finally, let's talk about those BE IT action items. What bold, executable, intrinsic or targeted action items, can we take away from your convo with Coach Lee Hopkins?Lesley Logan You want to jump in?Brad Crowell I would love to jump in. How do you know I was gonna jump in? (Lesley: I know.) All right, so I kind of was just talking about not not hiding things. But I also think that on the flip side of that is, be you. Be yourself. Right. But in order for you to be yourself, which I think is like a nice thing to say. I always, I never asked that before in this pod. How the hell do you do that? What does that even mean? (Lesley: I know.) Like, you know, so somebody who actually (Lesley: ... yourself and it's like, okay.) Be yourself, whoo, go you, you know, and it's like, okay, I don't know how to do that. I don't even I don't even know who I am. And (Lesley: Yeah) that I think is the root of it. And so in order for you to be yourself, you have to learn about you.Lesley Logan And that goes into my like, what I freaking loved. Because like some, I've we've had the beginning of the pod people go, learn by yourself, get to know yourself. It's like, "How the fuck do you do that?" Like, "What do you do?" And I couldn't believe how Coach Lee put this this together with a nice little bow. It is called history, hobbies and habits. So you've got to know your history, you got to know your history, you have to understand what your hobbies are, and what your habits are, because then you know who you are. And then when you can, when you go out to meet other people, you can recognize similar history, similar hobbies, similar habits, or you can go, "Ooh, actually, that habit and my habit, they don't go together. They're like oil and water." So it's like you can actually connect with people on a much better level. When you know your history, your hobbies, your habits, and that might take some time of you actually going, "What do I do all day? What do I like to do?" And you know, if you've listened this podcast, I'm on a hobby hunt. I'm still on it. I'm still still on this hobby hunt.Brad Crowell Well, one of the things that I wanted to, just take it back to learning about yourself, and the history, hobbies and habits is a great thing to just write all that stuff out, but so that you can see it and it will allow you. Obviously, Lesley and I talked about our dating story where we, we took a test called Strengths Finders. And that was incredibly revealing, as I've previously shared, but it actually helped me define me. And that was like, that was the first time I really ever done that other than me saying, "I'm a musician," because that was how I personally defined myself. But I didn't know, I didn't know me very well. And what Strengths Finders did was it gave me the tools. It gave me the language to describe myself in a way that I connected with finally and went, "Oh, yeah, I'm really good at these things." You know, and then another thing that I've been thinking about a lot and I was talking about this the other day is, we live in the attention economy. (Lesley: Yeah) Okay. You know, we think that dollars is where the that's the economy. Well, online, it's all about attention, eyeballs, ear balls, you know, like listening, watching, typing, participating is all about attention. And what I've noticed about myself is that I've been so infatuated with the idea of consuming information and learning. And you know, like, whether it's a podcast or an audio book or watching TV or you know, missing another Netflix show of which there's eight gazillion, how are you ever going to watch them all? What I'm, what I realized is that I actually, I never leave time for me to be alone with me. And I've been thinking about this, because I remember back in, maybe not in middle school, in middle school I was like a dark brooding teenager, and, you know, the world hates me. But in high school, I actually used to revel in being peculiar, it was very much part of my, the way I saw myself, but part of what I would do is I would disappear. I would just like, I would be unavailable to anyone for like an hour, and what I would do is I would go on a walk, and I would just sit down, like under a tree somewhere, and I would just be under the tree. And I, I remember that I used to do this all the time. You know, and I used to write in a journal, and I used to think, and reflect, sometimes I'd pull out my homework or read a book, but I would, I would set aside time for me. And I don't do that anymore. You know, and because I'm always listening to a podcast, or, you know, the news, or, or whatever. So, when you're looking back at yourself, and you're learning about yourself, you actually have to dedicate time to get to know you and to identify who you are.Lesley Logan And it might take more than an afternoon of writing down your history, hobbies and habits. And it might take a couple of weeks reflecting on the history you wrote down, and why you wrote those parts down and the hobbies and like, why do you like these hobbies? Like, do you still do these hobbies and the habits and like, which of those habits do you love? And which of those habits do you want to change? Which habits do you aspire to have? And so, you know, it's like, you get to, it's gonna take, (Brad: It's a journey.) it's gonna take you longer than after this episode, like, you're just just and it's ... (Brad: Which is okay.) And that's okay and in fact, like being it till you see it isn't like, you turn a light switch on and like, boom, you're it, you did it. It's like, it's like, you just, you just keep going. You just keep going. So how are you going to use these tips in your life? Tag the be_it_pod, tag Coach Lee, let us know. I know it'll make his day to see what your takeaways were from his podcast. Actually, Michael Unbroken sent me a DM that one of you listeners sent to him, because you listened to this podcast and how this podcast affected somebody in your life. And so yeah, share it with someone, it could change their life. And it's important that we do that for people because maybe they don't come across these things and they need them in their life to go over how to get to know themselves. So tag us at the @be_it_pod and Coach Lee and let us know. And until next time, Be It Till You See It.Brad Crowell Bye for now.Lesley Logan That's all I got for this episode of the Be It Till You See It podcast. One thing that would help both myself and future listeners is for you to rate the show and leave a review. And follow or subscribe for free wherever you listen to your podcasts. Also, make sure to introduce yourself over at the @be_it_pod on Instagram. I would love to know more about you. Share this episode with whoever you think needs to hear it. Help us and others BE IT TILL YOU SEE IT. Have an awesome day! 'Be It Till You See It' is a production of 'As The Crows Fly Media'.Brad Crowell It's written produced, filmed and recorded by your host Lesley Logan and me, Brad Crowell. Our Associate Producer is Amanda Frattarelli.Lesley Logan Kevin Perez at Disenyo handles all of our audio editing. Brad Crowell Our theme music is by Ali at APEX Production Music. And our branding by designer and artist, Gianranco Cioffi. Lesley Logan Special thanks to our designer Jaira Mandal for creating all of our visuals (which you can't see because this is a podcast) and our digital producer, Jay Pedroso for editing all videos each week so you can. Brad Crowell And to Angelina Herico for transcribing each of our episodes so you can find them on our website. And, finally to Meridith Crowell for keeping us all on point and on time.Transcribed by https://otter.aiSupport this podcast at — https://redcircle.com/be-it-till-you-see-it/donationsAdvertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brandsPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy
Selfish isn't a bad word, selfish could be taking time to discover who you are so that you can show up in other areas of your life, including your friendships. Today's guest joins the conversation to help individuals recognize and change past patterns that are keeping them from forming meaningful connections. Coach Lee Hopkins finally has an answer to help you feel seen and create long-lasting friendships. If you have any questions about this episode or want to get some of the resources we mentioned, head over to LesleyLogan.co/podcast. If you have any comments or questions about the Be It pod shoot us a message at beit@lesleylogan.co . And as always, if you're enjoying the show please share it with someone who you think would enjoy it as well. It is your continued support that will help us continue to help others. Thank you so much! Never miss another show by subscribing at LesleyLogan.co/subscribe.In this episode you will learn about:Hiding your truth that keeps you stagnant How you allow rejection to grow you The difficulty of finding support if you're hiding 3 steps to be truly seen Law of AttractionLearn & reflect on your history, hobbies, habitsEpisode References/Links:E-Squared bookPATTERNS OF POSSIBILITY WebsiteFollow @patternsofpossibility on IG If you enjoyed this episode, make sure and give us a five star rating and leave us a review on iTunes, Podcast Addict, Podchaser or Castbox.Be It Till You See It Podcast SurveyResourcesWatch the Be It Till You See It podcast on YouTube!Lesley Logan websiteBe It Till You See It PodcastOnline Pilates Classes by Lesley LoganOnline Pilates Classes by Lesley Logan on YouTubeProfitable PilatesSocial MediaInstagramFacebookLinkedInEpisode Transcript:Lesley Logan Hey Be It babe, what's up? Okay, I am on a freakin high, this interview I just got off up with Coach Lee Hopkins is going to change your life. And if you are like saying, yes, yes, yes. If you are talking with us, if you're answering the questions with us, if you feel like you're having a conversation with us, yes, we want to know, because I could have had that whole interview could have lasted hours. It was is way too much fun. So I'm going to tell you right now, you can you can see yourself in the story. And if you can't see yourself in the story, I want you to try. Because I, I think a lot of us think that the things that we are frustrated with in our lives or in our in our experience, what's going on with us that they like the mess that is going on in our lives. We get frustrated. We want it to go away. We want it to be over. We don't want to deal with it. Why are we going through this? Why is this happening to me? And it's happening for you. I, pause on purpose, it is happening for you. I know it sucks. When you're going through it, it blows in fact, and it stings, and it hurts. And as you hear my guest Coach Lee's story, you're gonna be like, "What?" And then you'll be excited like, "What?" Like, that's your life, too. Okay? We have to stop trying to push away the things that are that feel like pain. And we have to really start to see like, how, how is this going? Like, what can I glean from this? What is this trying to teach me? Why, why do I keep having this experience? What can I get from this? And then pay attention to how you want to feel in your life. Because what is going on that you're like, "Oh, this keeps happening." It's happening for you. And then you will use that thing. All those lessons you learn from that and put it together with how you want to feel and be in this world. And you can then manifest, you can take the next steps to it, you can really truly be it till you see it. And so I'm just going to stop because we're going a little long on this interview and you won't even notice time will fly because it flew for us. I really enjoy this person so much. I really can't wait to have them back. And if you have any any questions for us or anything, please tag the @be_it_pod, send it in. Make sure you're following Coach Lee. I think that you're really going to enjoy their energy and have an amazing day. Here's the interview.Welcome to the Be It Till You See It podcast, where we talk about taking messy action, knowing that perfect is boring. I'm Lesley Logan, Pilates instructor and fitness business coach. I've trained thousands of people around the world and the number one thing I see stopping people from achieving anything is self doubt. My friends, action brings clarity and it's the antidote to fear. Each week, my guests will bring Bold, Executable, Intrinsic and Targeted steps that you can use to put yourself first and Be It Till You See It. It's a practice, not a perfect. Let's get started.All right, Be It babe. I have someone super special for you. Like, I read about this person. And I was like, "Yes, yes." All the things 'yes' have to have this person on because, well, well you'll hear, he just emulates what Be It Till You See It is. And I am really excited for you to hear, not only his story of how he got started, but also some other tips he has to help you be it till you see it. So Coach Lee Hopkins, thank you for being here. Can you tell everyone who you are, what you're rockin at? And let's go also go with how you got started?Coach Lee Hopkins Wow, I love that energy. Thank you so much, Lesley. That's wonderful. Yeah, my name is Coach Lee Hopkins, and I help people create lasting friendships and meaningful relationships. And I got started by, I feel like there was another question in there. But I'm so excited to share, (Lesley: Go into it.) without me getting started. So I just ...Lesley Logan No. (Coach Lee: I'm sure we'll get back to it.) You're perfectly on point.Coach Lee Hopkins We'll get back to that. (Lesley: Yeah) But but yeah, so I'm really excited to be here. And I share with you that I am a coach that helps people make lasting friendships. And I got into that, because I had zero friendships. I suffered from loneliness when a very long time. And I've been chasing that truth or chasing that feeling of connection for years upon years. And I started because I thought that making connections was about being in the right place, you know, finding your tribe. And when I grew up, I was disconnected from people. I saw a lot of people making friends, but I just thought, "Well, I have to find my tribe." So I had an opportunity to move to to college when I turned 18. And I could connect with people who were from different countries, different walks of life and everything, but I still felt lonely. So then again, I thought, "Well, geez, man, I just hadn't found my tribe." That's what it was. And so I moved from Ohio, to California, where ...Lesley Logan Where everyone finds their tribe. Everyone just saying and I'm kidding ... (Lesley and Coach Lee laughs) California goal, it's the friendships. (Coach Lee: Yes) Sorry, I was ...Coach Lee Hopkins And it was around the time Katy Perry came out with the, 'California girls were so incredible', you know. So ...Lesley Logan Yeah, I'm born and raised California girl. So I'm, sorry, I interrupted, but I just had a shout out that's probably not where everyone find the tribe. But you can. (Lesley and Coach Lee laughs)Coach Lee Hopkins You can, you can, but I did learn a whole lot of things there. So I started to connect with more people and I felt more like I was in the karaoke scene. A lot of people were like high fived me it was like a little mini celebrity but this was in the Central Valley, okay. So it wasn't like in ...Lesley Logan Where in the Central Valley? Hold on. Where in the Central Valley? (Coach Lee: in the Central Valley.) I'm from Central Valley. (Coach Lee: Modesto) Stop. Okay, I used to cruise McHenry. (Coach Lee: What?) We're just having a little pause moment. (Coach Lee: Oh, get out of here.) Yes. When I the only couple of years in high school where I had like a friend not a tribe, but a friend. (Coach Lee laughs) Like my bestie we had the same name. We had the same middle name, our dads have the same name, our brothers that we like we like (Coach Lee: What?) we met on the cross country chain because hello I was also trying to find a friend. And then I met her and we became besties and we would tell our parents we were gonna go get some Carl's Jr. and we would somehow no one noticed that we drove 30 minutes to Modesto for Krispy Kreme doughnuts when the hot light was on. (Coach Lee and Lesley laughs) (Coach Lee: Oh my God. Wow, it was a small world.) Yeah, I'm from Lodi not Modesto. But anyways ...Coach Lee Hopkins Lodi? Okay. Okay. Yeah, I know where ...Lesley Logan So anyway, so back to you. Mini celebrities doing karaoke (Coach Lee: karaoke) in Modesto. No one knows where that is. It's okay everyone's Central Valley is broad enough. (Lesley and Coach Lee laughs)Coach Lee Hopkins Absolutely. So oh man, so I was like trying to connect with people. But I wasn't able to really make the kind of connection that I wanted. So I thought, well, California is messed up. And I had an opportunity to move to Chicago where I am now. And that's where I transitioned. So as you hear me now, I'm a trans man. I didn't say that in the introduction. But I'm a trans man. And I moved to Chicago and just about as soon as I hit the ground running, I transitioned from female to male, that and I connected with the queer community that helped me through this process. And I thought that we were going to be best friends. And we're gonna be really well connected because we had this shared experience. But that wasn't true. And I still felt disconnected from the people. And it just happened to be because I was hiding something. I was hiding my truth. And I didn't know that I was doing that until I got a new perspective on it. And so when I learned that I was hiding my truth, I learned how to figure that out and fix it up. Then I wanted to share that with everybody because it feels good to make friends. It feels good to share an experience with them. And so I want to help everybody do that.Lesley Logan This is so ... there's so many things to talk about. Coach Lee there's just so many. (Lesley and Coach Lee laughs) So first of all, what I what I really find interesting is that like, I think you're not alone in this. You kept moving thinking that's going to be the answer. And I and whether or not you're moving and looking for friends, y'all listen to this, like see yourself in the story. How often are you like, "Oh, when I get there that I will have. When this happens, and I will have." And like, that's why the show is Be It Till You See It because like, we have to stop waiting, waiting for or thinking that the thing we the thing that's gonna change our life or make us who we are want to be is over there. It's actually where we are right now. (Coach Lee: Yeah) And it's you said it, it's like you are hiding something. And you are hiding something from you.Coach Lee Hopkins Yeah. You're the first person to say it like that. That rocks my world.That rocks my world. Yeah.Lesley Logan This is on recorded, you'll get ... you can re listen. (Lesley and Coach Lee laughs) This is so good. Coach Lee, okay, so, so I think like, what you were looking for, is something that everybody is whether it has it, whether it whatever you subscribe to, or whatever how you identify, we are all looking for connection. We are all looking for friends. And my husband and I moved to Vegas in 2020, during the pandemic, so I moved from California. So we're like, everything should be locked down. And so we were, we stayed inside for a year. And then we went out to make friends. And we were like, "When did you move here? Like a year ago?" Oh, who do you know, no one. We know zero people.(Coach Lee laughs) Because we've been in lockdown. (Coach Lee: Yes) And so so we had to like as adult, find a tri... find a tribe and air quotes or like find our community here. And you know what, I had never had had to do that for 14 years, like, I lived in LA for so long. But like you keep making new friends. But like, you always have like someone or like a group of people or community you could go to and ever had to like start fresh, like fresh, fresh. And so so I resonate with your story when I was reading about what you do, because I think so many people are wanting lasting relationships and friendships and genuine ones and like, so how did you do that? So then you figure this you like, there's all these realizations came, you are stepping into who you are, you're owning what your truth is. And then how did you make the lasting relationships and make that a job?Coach Lee Hopkins Well, definitely, I had to figure out what I was hiding from myself. And I really liked how you put it. So I'm gonna keep that and share that with people just like that from now on, because I didn't realize I was hiding something for myself. So in order to figure that out, I had someone helped me with therapy. With therapy, I had a little bit of self reflection from another point of view, because it all it is, is that someone else is sharing the perspective on how you are behaving. And you get to consume that perspective, you get to see it as your own. And sure enough, it was like, "Wow, is that how other people are seeing me? I trust this person who's telling me that I'm acting this way. So maybe that's how other people were seeing me? What if I adjust it up and see what happens? And so that's what I did." They essentially talked about a mindset change and going out to meet friends because I was just down the dumps. I was like, maybe two years into being in Chicago. I was like, "Oh, I can't make any friends. I don't know what's going on. It's it's definitely not me." So, I go out, and I learned about this mindset, and I get an idea that I'm going to connect with somebody and I'm going to make a friend, this was me manifesting this whole thing. I'm just like thinking about it. So I go to this club. No, comedy club. This comedy club, it had an opportunity to talk. So I met a cool person, because I said, I'm gonna make a friend. We're having a conversation, having a drink and everything. And I steer the conversation towards LGBT stuff, because I want to see how they're feeling about this. And they mentioned to me that they have never seen a trans person before, don't understand the process. And why anyone would ever want to do that. And so ...Lesley Logan Oh, my God. Like, that's the first friend that you're trying to make. And it's like, all the opposites of what you're probably hoping they would say.Coach Lee Hopkins But I didn't even think about that. Actually, this is interesting, because I'd love to hear your take on this because I was thinking that, wow, I'm gonna fill in this knowledge gap for you. And we're gonna be best friends. I'm going to reveal my truth that I had been terrified to share with people, and we're going to be best of friends. And sure enough, I reveal myself. I'm like, "I'm a trans person, trans man," and they just freeze and they stop talking. And they leave. They don't say anything else to me. They're just gone. They're just gone ...Lesley Logan How brave are you? Cuz like, I love how you handled it way more mature than what I just said. (Coach Lee: Oh, no ...) But like, you know what I mean, but like, because you could have you could have just been like, oh my God, there's like everything I don't want and you could have just been like, oh, and just like move the conversation and like found a way to leave like walk away from this ...Coach Lee Hopkins ... the thing is that Lesley, I didn't understand that. That wasn't what I wanted until years later. Because if they had said anything else to me, my desperate self would have latched on to that and try to explain why trans people are amazing and why I'm also amazing, and why you should like me and we should be friends. I read ...Lesley Logan Right you would have put everything in this person, and this person may be your only friend like, like, like ...Coach Lee Hopkins Yes. (Lesley: Yeah, I speak. Yeah) And the universe will give me what, gives you what you need. All right, gives you what you need.Lesley Logan Oh they just did. The universe just gave you what you need at that moment. Woo!Coach Lee Hopkins Boom! And I didn't understand that at that time. But when I reflect back on it, I'm like, "Oh, okay, great." So you get it. Lesley it's like, I didn't need that friendship with him. And they didn't want to be friends with me it was wasted energy and time to go be with people who are interested in who you are and what you really want. And I had to learn that I'm hiding my truth and running around the world, hiding who I am afraid of rejection. But as soon as I show myself, what's going to happen, isn't that I'll die. I will learn from it, I will be okay. And that's what the universe was setting me up for. It felt like very painful in the moment. But man now at this point, I can understand that. This is why I help people go through this process because you are going to get rejected. But what you're going to do is you're going to learn from that, we will learn that this isn't the kind of person that you're going to be connected with. That's how you're going to learn. And you, luckily, are going to learn sooner. Because in the past, I would just grab onto them and be like, "For years hiding who I am. Be my friend, be my friend, my friend." And they don't really know me or they will like me.Lesley Logan Right. Because your hiding, your hiding. (Coach Lee: Yeah) Yeah, so they can only go so deep in the relationship with you. You know, it's interesting, you said that because um, my husband when I met him, a friend introduced us to like, "You need to date this guy. He's great friend." I'm like, "Oh, his jeans are skinnier than mine." (Coach Lee laughs) But I'm dating, I'm trying on new gene styles. So that was a blog I wrote. I had a dating blog back when I was single. And I like was like dating, you need to date like, you need to go to a jeans bar. And you need to turn all the jeans because you think you look good in high waisted but maybe you look good and boyfriend and like let's and maybe high waisted look good on you then but it doesn't go on you now like that kind of thing, right? So I was like, "Well, I'm trying on different jeans. Let's go try on some skinny ones." And so she like it's a super loose for a long story. This fast story is she thinks he's great for me. He I think I'm on a date with him. He doesn't that he doesn't know he's on. But like we're together. And I'm like, it was like a range thing. It was a little bit of manipulation in his words, but not mine. Anyways, it was a range. We're sitting there on this couch at a bar. And I'm like, "Yes, we're on this date. It's gonna be amazing. He's gonna ask me out for real." And then he goes, "... I'm married." And I was like, (Coach Lee: What?) "What? What? Does our mutual friend know that you're married, because she just set me up on a date with you." And like, my brain is go on other things. He's like, "We'll actually I'm getting divorced." And he had hid that he was going through divorce for over a year from everybody. No one knew what he was going through. I'm telling his story for him and he's gonna listen to us and go, "I can tell the story." But anyway, he did this, because he didn't want people to know, he didn't want people to have a judgment or reject him. Because like, here he is 30 like, he grew up, like, you get married, and you're married to the person forever. And here he is like going through a divorce. And he was embarrassed and all these things. And so he thought by not telling people that no one would reject them. But then, but now he's in a different situation. And (Coach Lee: Yeah) it's just so interesting, because so many people are hiding. What makes what makes them them, right? (Coach Lee: Right) Like, divorce is like his title. But like, it'll it once he shared with me. And then like, all this weight came off, we could connect on a different level, because I was going through my own breakup. And we could actually, like, be real humans having a conversation going through something. And so instead of like, and what do you do? And what do you do? You know, like when we have a meaningful relationship. Like what ...Coach Lee Hopkins Right, exactly, exactly. And I resonate with that story so much, I'm so glad that you shared it just like that, because I made a friend with a person who I didn't share that I was trans. And so when I was dating people, I was getting rejected, but I couldn't share with them why it was getting rejected. And so they couldn't support me, they didn't even know that there was a problem. And the the advice or information that they would share with me would, just keep trying, it's but you don't understand. That's because I'm not telling you. You don't understand because I'm not telling you and I can't have support and you can't support me because if you want to, and so that just didn't make anything lasting or it doesn't make you feel like you're any less lonely than just being alone.Lesley Logan Oh, my God. It makes you feel more lonely. I felt lonely for you. I also like this question that came up to those who are listening like what are you not telling like somebody will consider your best friend that like, you know, like, what are we not talking about. I don't know but (Coach Lee: Exactly) anyways, that's for the person listening not for you. Okay, so Coach Lee, so, you you're discovering this and you're going on this journey and like first of all the fact that what you coach on is like the struggle that was the most the beginning majority of your years on this earth so far. I love because like, I find it interesting when like, if somebody has like, so easy at making friends growing up and they're like, "I'm gonna help you make relationships" and they never I had to struggle like I find like, you know, they say 'your mess your message'. And so, so I love that this is your thing. How did you decide like, "Okay, I'm going to coach people on this though." Like, where where was that trans... like, what was that switch thought like?Coach Lee Hopkins Wow, well the thought process was that it feels so good for me to do it that I want to help other people connected. But if I would be absolutely honest with you, Lesley, I believe in doing things for the very selfish reasons of just being me and everybody who is connected to me operate in the selfish mode of they're doing what's best for them. And what's best for them just happens to also be good for me, because we're friends and we we share a similar vibe. So ...Lesley Logan How we, how are we just now meeting? You and I like (Lesley and Coach Lee laughs) I feel like I feel like we're best friends. And that be like, you're a stalker.Coach Lee Hopkins Because you get it, you get it. I'm so glad. But you understand. It's like well, the reason why I want to do this coaching is because I had such a terrible time making friendships and stuff. And I want to go big on this. So I figured if I live my truth, then I can make friends with people. But if I keep running into people who are hiding the truth from themselves, or hiding the truth from other people, and aren't comfortable with it, I'm going to run into those people. And with those people, I'm not going to be able to be friends with them, we're gonna have to work through it with them. And I don't have time for that on a on an Lee level, as far as me being selfish about myself and trying to build intimate connections for me. So I'm just like, instead of trying to just coach people that I meet randomly, why not tell as many people as possible, because this feels good. The more people who feel in tune with themselves, the more people who feel connected to themselves can be easier to connect easier to me, if they so desire. They have the knowledge of themselves to say, "Lee, I'm great hanging out with you." Or "Lee, no, I'm not interested in you." And I appreciate it either way, what I hope not to happen. And what I want to not happen is people to say, "I don't know. I don't know." You know?Lesley Logan Okay. Also, I know everyone's listening to this. And this is like, oh, super, super self help right now, everyone, but there's a little business thing in here that he's pointing out, I have to just say. You don't want lukewarm fans. You want people who love you or don't love you. You don't want these lukewarm people. It's like a wet blanket. You don't want them. They don't buy from you. They don't support you. And they're just like, "Yeah, that's cool." But you want people who are like, "Yeah, I'm into it. I'm into being a friend with you. And like, let's share on this level." I love it so much anyways, so sorry. I keep interrupting.Coach Lee Hopkins Absolutely, absolutely well, I feel like I must be doing something here. I must be doing something that's excitable, because hey, I'm feeling it too. I'm feeling it. So, yeah, it's like that. So I started to being the coach, I wanted to coach but on the very, very selfish level reason is that man, it feels good to be connected, it feels good to know yourself to be grounded and connected with yourself. And the more people who can do that for themselves and see themselves as and live their truth. They can decide whether they want to connect with me or not. And I can find my friendships and intimacy quicker than I would if I just kind of be myself work a regular five, nine to five. And that's like a bigger selfish kind of reason. But also, man, it just feels really good to know yourself ...Lesley Logan I want another word for selfish. I want, I want there to be this a selfish that's a negative. And then a word for selfish, as a positive. Do you know what I mean? Because like, I actually think that selfish, has gotten needs a rebrand.Coach Lee Hopkins I agree with you there because it's hard to say it too. Because I think that when people hear selfish, they're like, "Lee, you're bad." Like don't qualify it that way. (Lesley: Yeah) I don't know. Yeah.Lesley Logan Like people who are like selfish negatively, probably qualify, sometimes in the narcissist category. So I don't know, like, I'm just there. I don't know who Webster is or where they were who makes words up, but I felt like I feel like we need another word. That's a positive selfish. (Coach Lee: Yes, absolutely.) Anyways, we'll work on that together. I'm on a mission.Coach Lee Hopkins I think that's a great idea. We should do that for sure. But that's that's where it came from is to connect with people and to feel more connected. And overall, I think that, I believe that that's all we want to do is to be understood, and to be connected with each other.Lesley Logan Everybody wants to feel seen and not seen, like I looked at you like seeing like, inside you see me, you get me like that's what everybody wants. And it's and it's and so few people know how to actually make lasting friendships that like, I think a lot of people are surrounded with a lot of friends or a tribe. And they still feel really lonely.Coach Lee Hopkins Yeah. And to your point, I want to say that being seen, I can give you actionable steps. I guess the way I look at being seen and the way we connect with what I connect to people is that when we're talking, we I search for three things or I make sure to validate to look at three things. Okay. There's the data. There's the information that you're telling me, there's facts of the situation. And then there's the feeling behind what you're saying to me. And then finally, the thing that really makes us feel seen is the validation. And the validation is what you are based on what you were saying to me. So based on the data, and the feeling that you have you are absolutely justified and righteous in feeling the way you do based on everything you've said to me, reflecting that back to them, letting you know that I understand what you just said, how you feel about what you just said, and why you're right about that. It's not my personal belief, but is a reflection of how you feel. And when I do that for people, it lights them up, because we will do it for me. It lights me up too, because I'm like, "Oh, get me. You understand."Lesley Logan Right. So you're saying because that third part, I think is where people miss it. (Coach Lee: Yeah) You're saying instead of me going, "Oh, Lee, that's not what they meant." You're, you're instead the being seen part is like, "Oh, Lee, I'm, like, you felt like this," like, I'm restating or re affirming (Coach Lee: Yeah) your feelings around the thing, as opposed to like denying your feelings around the thing.Coach Lee Hopkins Yeah, exactly. So like saying, for example, I had a bad day at work. And I'm angry about that. And I go on and on until you get bad. I had a bad day at work. I'm so angry. And that's what I say. And then if you were reflecting, and you really wanted me to be seen and heard and understood, you would say something like, and yeah, I hear your boss was terrible today. You spill, you spilled coffee on your shirt. And your coworkers are talking about you all the time. Of course you feel angry about that, because that's just a frustrating situation to be in. And you've told me several times that you don't even like your job. So that makes you feel seen, like I understand exactly how you feel in that situation. Just saying something back to you like, "Oh, I hear you had a bad day." Of course, I know what bad days feel like because (Lesley: Yeah) I've had the too ... (Lesley: I had a bad day today, too.) Doesn't make me feel seen. Yeah.Lesley Logan Yeah. Oh, this is good. Everyone can use that. That's so good. Okay. (Coach Lee: Absolutely) Okay, we can, obviously, you're coming back because I could talk for hours on this, but I want to go to a couple of things. (Coach Lee: Okay) While we have you on this amazing day. Um, so I know that you're pretty, like, I know that you're a pretty good manifester. And I find that a lot of people either think manifestation is like a double woo. It's a woowoo thing. Or they, they have their vision, but they don't know how to take the next steps. And like they're not they're not actually thinking about it. And manifestation to me, like, visualizing over again, there's all these things. But can you tell people maybe a couple or one or two of your favorite manifestation stories from yourself? And then can we get some tips on like, how we can be better manifesters?Coach Lee Hopkins All right. Sure, absolutely. So the story that I like to tell most is about The Secret. Watching The Secret. When I was in Modesto. I had a girlfriend and she sat me down. And she was like, "Hey, let's watch The Secret together." And that was like, "Okay, blah, blah, blah." And then we broke up. And I was absolutely devastated and I'm so sad. But I remember that The Secret said, "just to try something, just anything, I just just put what it is what you imagine it's going to be." And so at this time was working in the warehouse, and I decided that I would use the Law of Attraction, which is, you know, what I understand the Law of Attraction is visualizing it and then telling everybody about it. Because when you tell people about it, you either get it to come to you or people who is going to help you, come in your life and people who (Lesley: Yeah) aren't going to help you they move out of your life. And so ...Lesley Logan It's why I kept telling everyone on almost every episode that I can't wait to have a G Wagon. Because I'm every listener is like a compounding, like getting my direction ...Coach Lee Hopkins We're making that consciously happen for you.Lesley Logan We are. I believe it. Yeah.Coach Lee Hopkins But yeah, so I was working in a warehouse. And I decided that I was bored. And I wanted to change and people around me wasn't enough and all this and I thought, well, the Law of Attraction is what's going to do it for me. I found a business card on the ground, and scratched some their name out, scratched their name out, put my name on it. I scratched out their title. And I put a title that I thought I could have on it a specialist/analyst. And then I scratched out some other details and wrote my own and put it on my door, my door for work from. So every day I left and I would see it, I would see it as I leave. And I was looking at it. (Lesley: That's so cool.) Yeah. And I would see it every day. And then I start hearing things about getting better with it like, so I wanted to. I was working in the warehouse, and I wanted to have some kind of corporate job using computers. And that was all the idea that I had. But I had this really specific card, though I had that really specific card. And so I looked at it every day and then things just I started to hear about things I started to talk about things and I got I did some work with Excel. I learned about Excel and I learned about Microsoft Access Programs. And then I learned that I can get a certificate for it. I heard these things on the radio, and I feel like I've never heard them before. But I learned that you could do that on the radio then do it start researching and I started putting more hours into it. And I started asking people, would they give me a mock interview? Because in my company, they were like, sure, we believe in you growing. So I asked supervisors getting mock interview and one day I sat down with the head of HR at the company. And she had looked through it, and by then I'd had some certificates. So it's been about a year, but it has some certificates. And I didn't notice time fla, flew, and she flipped through, and she was like, "Oh, that's interesting. Do you think you would move to Chicago?" And I was like, "Yeah, I guess I have nothing else going on here." And she said, "Yeah, cuz we got a brand new position opening up." And it was, this is what blew me away, I didn't realize that it was Law of Attraction. But when I got there, it's a reporting analyst position. And it was a logistics specialist, situation, logistics specialists, team. And I was like, "Wow," because on my card, my job that I had wrote was analysts/specialists. (Lesley: Yeah) And slash logistics. And I have a picture of that on my website, because I was like, blown away by that. I'm like, "ahhh." It was ...Lesley Logan You made that happen.Coach Lee Hopkins I made that happen. I believe that I made that happen because it was a brand new team that they were reorgani... reorganizing.Lesley Logan Yeah. You didn't even know you, you didn't even know this job could be anything or (Coach: Did even know.) even within the company you're already working for. This is I hope everyone's listening to this because I'm currently in a situation and not manifesting it. But it is like thing dropped in my lap. And it's like, doesn't fit the way it is packaged. And I'm like, the universe doesn't bring you things that like just to like taunt you like there's like it's here to help. There's something about this thing, right that like, it's neither be part of the story or it's gonna teach me something and I want to reject the package the way it is, but it also might well, why are you rejecting it hasn't even like arrived yet. So let's just like, hang on, and to see what we learned from it. But I love your story so much, because I think like, so many people are stopping themselves from because like, oh, my job doesn't have that, that thing, or, or I'd have to move to get that job, or I'd have to like do this, they started to get caught up in all the half twos that are around the logistics that are around it. And instead you're like, "Nope, I'm gonna put this job, I'm gonna look at it." And then because you were like, had it there, you had this Law of Attraction style of manifesting around it, you're hearing things on the radio that were already there. But now your brains like, "Oh, that's the thing that I need for this thing. Go get that thing." (Coach Lee: Yeah) Right. And so and then it just so I think all of us are stopping ourselves too soon or rejecting the thing before it's like, like, we're rejecting things before they even happen, and they're gonna happen where you're supposed to this is really fun. I love it. I love stories like this.Coach Lee Hopkins Yeah, absolutely. Yeah, it's so amazing. I like the way you package it like that, too. It's like, that's exactly what happened. I feel so proud of that. And if I could tell a super, super, super quick story (Lesley: Yeah, tell them.) about another one, another one (Lesley: Yeah) about how I became a coach now. So I'm in corporate, and I decided that I'm still not making the kind of friendships and connections that I want. And that was like, I guess that was the thing. That was the calling. That was the purpose of my existence. Now, that's what I believe. Because I because the next kind of manifestation happened. It's like, I was at this job. And I tried to do with a record to succeed and be successful, but it ended up leaving the company, hoping to make better connections with people. So I worked downtown, and I was trying to make more connections with people like friendships and stuff like that. But that wasn't working out either. And when the pandemic hit, I wanted to lean into coaching a little more. And somewhere I had wrote that I'm going to start coaching full time in 2022. Somewhere, I had wrote that and I was connecting with people. And I didn't realize that things are going on in the background of the universe, right? I'm, I'm connecting with people, I'm talking to other coaches, thinking that I need their help and support to get me to the next level, because they are certified in some way. And I could learn something from them. But no, I couldn't really learn too much from them. I just kept moving on and trying new things and connecting with other people trying new things. And I have this written down, they used to have a giant board and have it written down coaching and 2022. And sure enough, I had this overwhelming feeling of anxiety at the end of 2021. It was overwhelming that I felt like well, the universe was showing me that my job wasn't as important to me as the idea that I wanted to make connections with people. Because essentially, in my job, I was an analyst and I was pretty siloed. I wasn't really able to talk to people on a day to day basis. And I was like, "I'm lonely." And the universe is like, "Hey, hey, coaching, remember coaching."Lesley Logan The thing you want to do over here. We got you to Chicago so you can have this thing over here.Coach Lee Hopkins Yeah, exactly. And so one day I got, I was so siloed that essentially I could work all day and nobody would message me or anything. So one day I got a message from someone saying that it's an emergency, I need you to hurry up and go make this change. And I go to this thing and I'm looking at a ticket and it's supposed to be a high priority ticket and I look at it and it's old stated, and there's no priority on it. So I'm like, "Isn't that the universe telling me that, nobody, I'm not making any kind of difference or impacts here, that I'm doing the thing that's not impactful." And so I ended up quitting my job, ended up quitting my job. And this was a couple of weeks later, but I actually ... (Lesley: You just quit, you just quit.) You know what? That's that's not fair to say. (Lesley: Okay.) Okay, so a couple of weeks, a couple of weeks had gone by, and I thought, well, this is a time for an experiment. Does anybody really care about the work that I do? I was able to automate a lot of my work. I'm just going to move away from my computer and not do anything for a week. Nobody noticed I was gone. (Lesley and Coach Lee laughs)Lesley Logan That sucks so much. I also, it's, it's also the best gift probably as well. But ...Coach Lee Hopkins It was like, "hey, hey, hey." And yeah and now I'm all lonely. And so ...Lesley Logan Isn't it so interesting, like you want to leave? And yet it's like, no, one noticed your gone. Coach Lee Hopkins Yeah. But I ended up quitting, though, I ended up quitting, because I realized that well, this is was super clear to me that what I'm doing doesn't really sit right with my soul, sit right with my spirit. And so I need to make connections with people, because that's what I said I wanted from the beginning of time, I've been searching for that all this time. They didn't set me up to sit be in Chicago, to sit at home in front of a computer where I'm not talking to anybody, and no one cares if I do the work or not. That's not what I'm here for. (Lesley: Right) So that really was like, "Oh, well, then now I'm going to put all my energy into coaching, because they basically said that this is a distraction for you. (Lesley: Yeah) And we've cleared the way for you." And when I quit my job, I was able to I wasn't actually like super prepared for it either. I liquidated some things. And they were just it was just like, This is what you need to do. Essentially, that's what I felt what was right for me. And it has always been, that always feels right for me. And I keep going, I keep going. And I keep creating, and I keep connecting with people. And that's how I got to talk to you. Otherwise, I'd be at work right now. (Lesley: Yeah, you've be ...) Yeah.Lesley Logan doing some tickets and you know. I never read The Secret but I read a book called E-Squared. And it it's Pam, something. Anyways, y'all can Google it. It's, I got to get the author on because I love her so much. And I also attribute her to my husband actually texting me, because it was one of the one of the assignments was to write down two people's names, who have your information. You don't have like you haven't seen them where they're like, "Oh, I'll give you a call," like, you're not expecting a call, they have no reason to contact you. But you want them to contact you, it's very specific. So I wrote down my now husband, we hadn't seen each other in three months. And so I wrote his name down. And I wrote down this woman at work, who actually I worked in, in West Hollywood, she actually was out of the New York office at the company I was working for, and I really I worked with her on a shoot and I wanted to be on another shoot with her. But I there's no there's no ... there's nothing to do. There's but I just wanted, I just wanted to have a talk with her. So she wouldn't remember me. So I could be another commercial shoot. And so I wrote those names down. And I like it said like, "In 48 hours or whatever, it's gonna, one of those two names is going to contact you." And I was like, "Okay." So I am at work and I'm about to leave for the day. And my phone has a text message from Brad. And I'm like ... (Coach Lee: Wow) And he's like, he's like, "Dang these back bends. I like I can't get them." He's he was into yoga. And he knows that he knew I taught Pilates but so that was his like, "Hi. How it's going?" Right. And I was like, "Oh my God." And I'm walking down the stairs out what this West Hollywood club. And by the way, when I knew this woman when we actually met it was at a different location. And she lived in New York, and I was in a different location in LA. So she didn't know that I was transferred. So I'm walking down the stairs and who's walking up the stairs, this woman (Coach Lee: Wow.) on the other piece of paper, and she's like, "Oh my God, I've been I was so hoping I'd find it find you when I was in town this week. Do you have time to talk?" And I was like, (Coach Lee: Wow!) Yes. Yes. In fact, I just think I'm gonna reread this book because it was so good. Anyway ... (Coach Lee: E-Squared) E-Squared. You know, if you're if you're someone who is like, like unsure of how to manifest, it really teaches you different ways you can bring in the Law of Attraction. I don't think she uses those words. But like, basically bring in what you're asking for and bring it and let the universe bring you what you're wanting. So anyway, Coach Lee, I could talk to you forever. (Coach Lee: Yes, we could. We have to be careful about that.) There's so many things we need to like dive into it. Maybe we'll start a book club for E-Squared. I don't know. We're gonna take a brief moment and we're gonna come back and find out how people can find you, coach with you and get to know you.All right, Coach Lee, where do you hang out? Where, what socials can people find you, follow you? And how can people work with you if they're like, "Please help me have lasting meaningful relationships."?Coach Lee Hopkins Or you can find me at patternsofpossibility.com and you can find me on all social media on Patterns of Possibility. Right now, I have a five day challenge to help you make lasting friendships. It's free to sign up for it. So you can find that at patternsofpossibility.com.Lesley Logan That's so cool. That's so great. I also love alliteration like that. So good job. (Lesley and Coach Lee laughs) It just rolls off the tongue Patterns of Possibility. Okay, we ask everybody and I can't wait to hear yours because you're just awesome. BE IT action items - bold, executable, targeted, intrinsic steps people can take to be it till they see it.Coach Lee Hopkins Well, definitely, if you're looking for friendships, the best thing you can do is learn about yourself. And so I have three things that I want you to learn to think about when learning about yourself, learning more about your history, your hobbies, and your habits, that alliteration, I love it myself. The day your history, your hobbies and your habits, and rank the top three of each that you have, and make sure that you're able to know what those are. Put yourself in places, see yourself in places with your history and hobbies and habits so you can connect with the right people.Lesley Logan Oh, I like that. That's so awesome. I've had so many people go, "Oh, yeah, get to know yourself." And like, "How do I do that?" What if someone like recovering perfectionist overachiever over here is really wanting to know the how to do that. And you just explain that. History, habit ...Coach Lee Hopkins Hobby and ... Yeah, history, hobbies and habits.Lesley Logan History, hobbies and habits. And then you write those things down. And then now you've got things either talk about or to, like, (Coach Lee: Yes, what ...) ... this person is on my same level with this thing over here.Coach Lee Hopkins Yes. And you have to the key to this, though, is that you have to have those prioritize like what is most important to you. Don't go and look at, don't go to a thing that's not really a great hobby and expect to find someone you're going to make a genuine connection with over that hobby. Because if you really don't like the run, and they're gung ho about running every day, you're not going to feel better connected with them.Lesley Logan Yeah, it's like getting on a, it's like a lying about something that you'd like to do with on a beginning of a relationship. And then yeah, like you said, you like hiking, I liked it for the first date ... (Coach Lee laughs) (Coach Lee: Exactly) Yeah okay, I actually, thank you for that extra tip. Because I think, like, if you think about your history, I can think of like a bunch of things that I could resonate with someone on, but I don't actually want to talk about those things all the time, or I want that to be like the thing that we like, connect on. So I would probably want to focus on things in my history that like, I'm like, yeah, this is like, I want to attract more of this more of this kind of understand. Yeah, that kind of thing. Okay. And (Coach Lee: Absolutey) that's hobbies. Yeah, hobbies are things you actually like to do. Which is (Coach Lee: Yes) and then habits. I, you're ...Coach Lee Hopkins Yeah because habits or I mean habits, we will tell you a whole lot about a person. I know we're not going to talk that much longer. But if you're getting up at 5am, you probably have a different life than somebody who's getting up at noon. And so there's your habits are different. And you are going to find a little bit of disconnect if you try and connect on that.Lesley Logan Yeah. Oh, that's so good. That's also very helpful for the person going, "Okay, my habit is like, I brush my teeth twice a day." And it's like, no, like, what are your, like, habitual things. Like, again, the morning thing, it's very strange. I wake up at five and my husband does go to bed at two in the morning. And so we really see each other in the middle of the day. (Coach Lee: Wow) It's like, "Oh, hey, you want to have lunch?"Coach Lee Hopkins But you didn't start out that way? Did you?Lesley Logan You know, what? We here's this because this is like an anomaly, right? So we those aren't the things that connected us together. So those are like the things that don't matter. Like why we connected was because we're both very entrepreneurial. And and, and we there's like the history like of heartbreak ups was very similar. And it wasn't the negative part. But it was like how we left and how, who we wanted to be when we're outside of that. Dogs, music, a couple other things like so the things that we stayed on, we kind of ignored the fact that he went to bed at two. And I woke up at five, those didn't really matter, because it was like the at the time in between. And then you know, and then yeah ...Coach Lee Hopkins Yeah, this is kind of validates my point. It's like, if it's not really that important to you, then don't put it on there. Because that's not going to be a thing that connects you but if it's detrimental, that you have to spend all the time together in the world and you're working on different schedules should not gonna be ....Lesley Logan You, you are 100% correct. Like I don't need in fact, I prefer that he is not up in the morning with me and he's listening, he's gonna listen to this because we do a recap episode. So I do like when he walks the dogs with me in the morning, Brad. But I, but I liked even when he did that for a brief moment I really liked I would get up still earlier than that. Then the dog would always get up before I walked the dog to do my morning pages and my red light therapy. And so I still did that part and then he would join me on the walk. So I actually it wasn't a priority for me to have a person having coffee with me and breakfast with me. It was more like no I actually like the middle the day dinnertime like those are the important meals. Those are, now I've had my time to charge up and now (Coach Lee: Yeah) I actually show up for any conversation.Coach Lee Hopkins Oh yeah, you were like you were like definitely an anomaly because you're like, "I want my self care. And this is important to me and no matter what it is, I'm gonna get it and make sure that happens." Did you can be that kind of person. (Lesley: Yeah, I'm...) That you want to be.Lesley Logan I am trying 100% for this podcast to get people to understand that like, you have to take prioritize your self care, otherwise you cannot. This is why selfish needs a different word, because (Coach Lee: Exactly) because you cannot be anybody. I cannot be a best friend and a wife to my husband. I cannot take care of these dogs without yelling at them. I cannot coach people or do this podcast if I didn't take care of me first.Coach Lee Hopkins That's so true. That's true. That's the truth. Yeah.Lesley Logan Okay. All right. Well, y'all, I obviously found my new best friend and Coach Lee, I hope you enjoyed this episode. How are you going to use these tips in your life? Let us know, tag at the @be_it_pod, tag Coach Lee @patternsofpossibilities, all the things are in the show notes below if I got any of that wrong. And let us know how you are going to use these. And until next time, Be It Till You See It.That's all I got for this episode of the Be It Till You See It podcast. One thing that would help both myself and future listeners is for you to rate the show and leave a review. And follow or subscribe for free wherever you listen to your podcasts. Also, make sure to introduce yourself over at the @be_it_pod on Instagram. I would love to know more about you. Share this episode with whoever you think needs to hear it. Help us and others Be It Till You See It. Have an awesome day! 'Be It Till You See It' is a production of 'As The Crows Fly Media'. Brad Crowell It's written, produced, filmed and recorded by your host Lesley Logan and me, Brad Crowell. Our Associate Producer is Amanda Frattarelli. Lesley Logan Kevin Perez at Disenyo handles all of our audio editing. Brad Crowell Our theme music is by Ali at APEX Production Music. And our branding by designer and artist, Gianfranco Cioffi. Lesley Logan Special thanks to our designer Jaira Mandal for creating all of our visuals (which you can't see because this is a podcast) and our digital producer, Jay Pedroso for editing all video each week so you can. Brad Crowell And to Angelina Herico for transcribing each of our episodes so you can find them on our website. And, finally to Meridith Crowell for keeping us all on point and on time.Transcribed by https://otter.aiSupport this podcast at — https://redcircle.com/be-it-till-you-see-it/donationsAdvertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brandsPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy
Welcome to Part 1 of “Releasing Grudges", Episode #80 of Co-creating Peace, a series about conscious communication and conflict transformation. A few weeks ago, in Episode #77 of this podcast, Lee Hopkins and I had a great conversation about boundaries. I felt such alignment with so many of his ideas that I subscribed to his blog. A recent article in his blog was about grudges, which – of course, can be both the cause and the result of conflict. I've invited Lee back to share his perspective on grudges and what we might do to help others release their grudge against us or work through the grudges we have against others.Today, we'll explore approaches we might take when someone has a grudge against us. Next week, in Part 2, we'll look at what we can do about the grudges we hold against others.Coach Lee Hopkins (he/him/his) is a transgender man who helps people create lasting friendships. On his journey of discovery about how to connect more deeply with others, he discovered that the more he learned about himself, the better able he was to build strong, long-lasting relationships with others. To learn more about Lee Hopkins and his work, visit his website: https://www.patternsofpossibility.com, where you'll find on the More Possibility page a free course called "Understanding Connections" and a free resource titled "10 Tips to Making Memorable Conversations" as well as many other insights, tools and resources. Just go to: https://www.patternsofpossibility.com/morepossibility
Coach Lee Hopkins (he/him/his) is a transgender man who helps people create lasting friendships. After struggling with loneliness most of his life, he discovered that the more he learned about himself, the better he was able to connect with others. For more info:https://www.patternsofpossibility.com/Welcome to See Beneath Your Beautiful, where guests share stories of adversity and perseverance which inspire, encourage and challenge us. Host Hara Allison embraces these tough conversations, intimately exploring our loves, fears and hopes with a delicious combination of depth and lightness.https://seebeneathyourbeautiful.com or listen wherever pods are cast.Apple Podcasts: https://tinyurl.com/z6ceeh7uSpotify: https://tinyurl.com/k8783km4____To get in touch with Hara Allison:Podcast: https://seebeneathyourbeautiful.com/Photography: https://hara.photography/Design: https://studioh-creative.com/
Staying true to your decided heart, even when life throws all kinds of obstacles in your way can leave us feeling pretty isolated. Our guest, Coach Lee Hopkins struggled with loneliness most of his life trying to build friendships as a transgender man. Through endurance, patience and grace, while trying various ways to find his people without success, he found something else. Coach Lee discovered that the more he learned about himself, the better he was able to connect with others. Contact Coach Lee: Website: https://www.patternsofpossibility.com TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@patternsofpossibility IG: https://www.instagram.com/patternsofpossibility YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCk_sXvnjqwhFlpI-NYV845g Facebook: https://fb.me/Patternsofpossibility Podcast: https://anchor.fm/patternsofpossibility Email: patternsofpossibility@gmail.com ENGAGE WITH US! https://www.thedheffect.com Email: thedheffect@gmail.com
The 34Questions podcast challenges it's guests to answer introspective questions. We intend to leave a memento for the future, revealing our personalities to our descendants.Reaching out, to show them from whom they are coming from. The podcast also serves as a journal entry, a glimpse of the person you are. The past, to the person you will become. Guests participate in a series of games which lead to facing the Wheel of Fate. Whichever number the wheel lands on, is the question that will be asked. No two interviews are exactly alike, as no two people are. Reach out, reach forward. As always, much love. Looking forward to catching you on 34Questions. -------------- Background Music by: Homage Beats -------------- 34Questions.comThe 34Questions podcast challenges it's guests to answer introspective questions. We intend to leave a memento for the future, revealing our personalities to our descendants.Reaching out, to show them from whom they are coming from. The podcast also serves as a journal entry, a glimpse of the person you are. The past, to the person you will become. Guests participate in a series of games which lead to facing the Wheel of Fate. Whichever number the wheel lands on, is the question that will be asked. No two interviews are exactly alike, as no two people are. Reach out, reach forward. As always, much love. Looking forward to catching you on 34Questions.
Coach Lee talks to us about meaningful and lasting friendships. He talks about his journey from loneliness to living a fulfilled life! Get more information about coach Lee @ www.patternsofpossibility.com Get your free copy of 10 TIPS TO MAKING MEMORABLE CONVERSATIONS Email: patternsofpossibility@gmail.com
Hello all you beautiful people, Welcome back to another box to break out of! Today's topic of overcoming: Loneliness. Today's guest comes to us from Chicago, Illinois. His mission in life is helping people create lasting and fulfilling friendships and relationships in the hopes of tackling the loneliness epidemic in the world. Growing up, he thought he knew what to do when it came to making friends, and even though he had friends, he still found himself feeling very lonely. Since then, he has dedicated his life to learning how to overcome this obstacle in order to help others overcome their loneliness that comes from not making close friends, because life feels more complete when you have people to share it with. Wouldn't you agree? He is also a transman, and though being trans is not the crux of his message, he shares it as part of the journey to demonstrate vulnerability which helps build the intimacy needed to develop deeper relationships. Please join me in giving a nice, warm welcome to Coach Lee Hopkins! You can find him on: His website https://www.patternsofpossibility.com/ Instagram https://www.instagram.com/patternsofpossibility/ Youtube https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCk_sXvnjqwhFlpI-NYV845g/about Tiktok https://www.tiktok.com/@patternsofpossibility?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc Twitter https://twitter.com/PatternsPossi ANNOUNCEMENT: The It's Deadly in the Box instagram is up and running! Go follow to stay further connected https://www.instagram.com/itsdeadlyinthebox/
Ditch the tribe and attract your vibe with Coach Lee Hopkins and Susan Jane. Coach Lee Hopkins (he/him/his) is a transgender man who helps people create lasting friendships. After struggling with loneliness most of his life, he's tried various ways to resolve it — including moving across the US to find his tribe and fit in. He's learned that the key to creating meaningful relationships is not “fitting in” or “finding your tribe”, it's about attracting your vibe. In this episode, he'll show us how this is possible for everyone. 00:00 The Voice of Intuition 00:46 Susan Jane The Intuitist 01:40 Coach Lee Hopkins 07:18 Not feeling right inside 13:33 The feeling of being rejected 22:56 Tips for making memorable conversations 36:27 What are deal breakers How to connect with David: www.davidredwards.com
Welcome to “Boundaries Create the Shape of You”, Episode #77 of Co-creating Peace, a podcast series about conscious communication and conflict transformation. In Episode #20 of this podcast, I spoke about the power of defining, articulating, and enforcing our boundaries as an important tool in conflict prevention. Last week, in Episode #76, "Honor Your Boundaries", I shared the story of one of my listeners and her struggles with her boundaries.Today, I have the pleasure of having Coach Lee Hopkins join me to share a very powerful boundaries framework that he has created, which he calls 3N Boundaries.Coach Lee Hopkins (he/him/his) is a transgender man who helps people create lasting friendships. After struggling with loneliness most of his life, he's tried various ways to resolve it— including moving across the US to find his tribe and fit in. He's learned that the key to creating meaningful relationships is not “fitting in” or “finding your tribe”, it's about attracting your vibe. When you go to Lee's website, you will find on the More Possibility page a free course called "Understanding Connections" and a free resource titled "10 Tips to Making Memorable Conversations" as well as many other insights, tools and resources. Just go to: https://www.patternsofpossibility.com/morepossibility
Bringing Intimacy Back has guest speaker Coach Lee Hopkins guiding us to having more meaningful connections with others. Let's not forget the most important connection out there, creating a healthier one with OURSELVES!! Are you ready to live a happier, more meaningful, and more connected life? This is always the place Where Intimacy is Real and you will laugh, learn and love alongside our hosts every Thursday at 3:30pm EST Live! If you like what you hear, rate our content and leave us a review on any social media platform you listen to us. Coach Lee Hopkins (he/him/his) is a transgender man who helps people create lasting friendships. After struggling with loneliness most of his life, he's tried various ways to resolve it— including moving across the US to find his tribe and fit in. He's learned that the key to creating meaningful relationships is not “fitting in” or “finding your tribe”, it's about attracting your vibe. He'll show us how this is possible for everyone. The Bringing Intimacy Back Podcast is dedicated to inspire, enlighten, and encourage intimate connections. This podcast provides an engaging atmosphere to discuss ways to enhance intimacy in one's personal relationships with significant others, families, friends, Spirit, and oneself. Bringing Intimacy Back is a non-profit organization committed to inspire, enlighten and encourage intimate connections. We provide an engaging atmosphere to discuss and demonstrate ways to enhance intimacy in one's personal relationships with significant others, families, friends, spirit and self. Dr. April and Coach Kay discuss exciting topics including emotional and physical health, dating, spirituality, romance, communication and, of course, intimacy. Dr. April Brown is a Licensed Mental Health Christian Counselor in Florida, Wisconsin, New York and New Jersey. In addition, she is Certified Relationship and Sex Therapist, Board Certified TeleMental Health Counselor, National Certified Counselor, and a Qualified Clinical Supervisor. holds a Masters and a Specialist degree in Counseling and Human Systems and a Doctoral degree in Counseling Psychology. Kanya Ford, best known as Coach Kay, is the owner of Love & Intimacy 101, a life, love, and intimacy coaching practice based out of Richmond, VA. She is a life coach and certified sexologist.
Coach Lee is transgender and helps people create fulfilling friendships and relationships that they deserve. For several years, he didn't have supportive people who knew who he was. Lee always thought that he knew what to do when it came to making friends BUT many times, even though he had friends, Lee found himself very lonely. That's because when it comes to making friends, as in really building meaningful friendships and relationships, Lee was doing more damage than I realised... During this episode, Lee and I have an open and transparent conversation about the following topics and more: What it means to be a friend to yourself and the importance of sharing your truth Lee's experience of when he shared that he was transgender to a person Taking time out to get to know who you are and create boundaries The power of pronouns - Lee's breaks this down beautifully Why society gives people who don't follow gender norms a hard time Head over to the show notes to connect with Lee. Here's to owning our inner power, making bold moves and living a life that feels good. Explore the Website Connect on Instagram
This Special Pride Month Inspired Episode Features a session with Coach Lee Hopkins. Discussing friendships, healing relationships, self acceptance and much more! https://www.patternsofpossibility.com/morepossibility
Do you feel marginalized, rejected, or afraid to be authentic? Do you crave connection but fear the necessary vulnerability? This episode may help! https://patternsofpossibility.com/morepossibilities
Coach Lee Hopkins (he/him/his) is a True Trailblazer! He's a transgender man who is podcaster, life coach, blogger who helps people create lasting friendships. After struggling with loneliness most of his life, Lee tried various ways to resolve it— including moving across the country to find his voice. He learned that the key to creating meaningful relationships is not about “fitting in” or “finding your tribe.” It's about attracting your vibe. Our guest has since dedicated his life to helping others overcome the loneliness and fear of rejection that comes from not being able to connect authentically to others. Lee offers several free tools for you to start your journey. PDF - 10 Tips To Making Memorable Conversations & Free Course - Understanding Connections. I encourage our audience to follow him and gain insights from his personal story and life experience. Social Media Links:Website: https://www.patternsofpossibility.com/Reddit: https://www.reddit.com/user/BrilliantNResilientTikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@patternsofpossibilityIG: https://www.instagram.com/patternsofpossibilityYouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCk_sXvnjqwhFlpI-NYV845gFacebook: https://fb.me/PatternsofpossibilityPodcast: https://anchor.fm/patternsofpossibilityEmail: patternsofpossibility@gmail.com
When we were kids, it was easy to make friends. Often all you had to do was go up to a person and ask, “Will you be my friend?” and the two of you would romp off hand in hand to the playground. Making friends as an adult is more difficult, especially when you move to new surroundings or discover your beliefs are no longer compatible with people you were close to once. The result can be loneliness and the effects can be devastating. This week's focus is on how to combat loneliness and create lasting friendships. My guest, Lee Hopkins, knows the pangs of what it means to be lonely all too well. Growing up as a transgender teen, he felt he had to hide his true identity, which made it difficult to maintain quality friendships. Then, when he revealed himself as trans, he was surprised to find that making good friends was equally hard. It was only when he confronted his own limitations that he was able to overcome loneliness and forge the friendships he craved, and he shares his tips with us, including:•when a positive mindset isn't enough•the first step in establishing a new friendship•the three social myths to be aware of•why rejection is not always a bad thing•how to create a memorable conversation•the actions that will keep you from lasting friendships If you find yourself missing the closeness of good friendships, you won't want to miss this frank discussion on this episode of Dream Power Radio. Lee's biography in his own words: My name is Coach Lee Hopkins. I help people create lasting friendships and... I'm also a transman. For several years, l didn't have supportive people who knew the real me in my life. I always thought that I knew what to do when it comes to making friends BUT many times, even though I wasn't always alone, I was very lonely. That's because when it comes to making friends – I mean really building meaningful friendships and relationships —I was doing more damage than I realized. I didn't notice how I was contributing because my past patterns had made the dysfunction all feel so normal. I spent years uncovering these patterns and turning them into new possibilities of friendship and meaningful relationships with others. I believe that life feels more complete when you have people to share it with. Don't you agree? I'm here to help you create the fulfilling friendships and relationships that you deserve. With my help, you can change patterns of behaviors that keep you stuck. Website: https://patternsofpossibility.com/ Find out about Lee's upcoming workshop at https://www.patternsofpossibility.com/morepossibility
Biography:My name is Coach Lee. I help people create lasting friendships and... I'm also transgender. For several years, l didn't have supportive people who knew the real me in my life. I always thought that I knew what to do when it comes to making friends BUT many times, even though I had friends, I found myself very lonely. That's because when it comes to making friends – I mean really building meaningful friendships and relationships, I was doing more damage than I realized. Since then, I have dedicated my life to helping others overcome the loneliness that comes from not making close friends.I believe that life feels more complete when you have people to share it with. Don't you agree?I'm here to help others create the fulfilling friendships and relationships that they deserve.Get Your FREE 10 Tips, Course & Presentation!https://www.patternsofpossibility.com/morepossibility
What does it mean to be a friend to yourself? How can it contribute to making lasting friendships?What steps can one take to become a friend to themselves? What keeps us from being connected with others, even though we may want to be?What benefits are there to developing intimacy with yourself?What are some attributes of a lasting friendship?What can one do to deepen their connections with acquaintances?...All answers that Coach Lee Hopkins has in store for us!
Join this conversation with Coach Lee Hopkins to learn how to use memorable conversations to connect with people and build friendships. Click this link to easily rate the podcast. Find the shownotes at https://changesbigandsmall.com If you enjoy the episode, please share it with a friend. I would also appreciate it if you would leave a review in iTunes or Spotify. You can reach me at contact@changesbigandsmall.com if you have any questions or feedback. If you'd like to appear on the podcast, reach out to me for more information. I'm currently interviewing for the next season, which is focused on relationships. Join the Changes Big and Small Facebook group - https://www.facebook.com/groups/changesbigandsmall1/ The post How to Use Memorable Conversations to Create Friendship appeared first on Changes BIG and small. Related posts: How to Make and Manage Friendships as an Adult How to Uncover Limiting Beliefs and Overcome Them How to Build and Manage Effective Relationships in Person and Remotely at Work with Emily Lamia
You ever feel lonely? Like it's you against the world? Like nobody feel what you feel? Or nobody understands you? Sometimes it's a cold world and you don't know where to turn and feel as if there's no help.One thing to remember though is self love! Self love is important because even when you feel down you always have yourself! Yourself is the most important person to take care of and to love! When you love yourself you shine a light that's bright and shows people that you are filled with love and you shed light on others that have that same lonely feeling that you were once feeling! Self love helps you grow from lonely to knowing that there's always love and that there's so much love that you can shine a light on other individuals that feel lonely and let them know that they are not alone. Guest Info:Coach Lee HopkinsWebsite & All socialshttps://www.patternsofpossibility.com/morepossibilityhttps://www.reddit.com/user/BrilliantNResilient/https://instagram.com/patternsofpossibility?utm_medium=copy_linkhttps://youtube.com/channel/UCk_sXvnjqwhFlpI-NYV845ghttps://anchor.fm/patternsofpossibilitySupport this podcast at — https://redcircle.com/rios-corner/donations
In this week's episode I speak with Coach Lee Hopkins, a relationship specialist in the field of building lasting and meaningful friendships and personal development. Coach Lee's website: https://www.patternsofpossibility.com/. Follow the Ernest Thoughts Podcast on IG @ErnestThoughtsPod. Ernest Thoughts Podcast Merch: https://www.bonfire.com/ernest-thoughts-podcast-tote-bag/?productType=6c8bdf76-412f-4607-b944-505de2f9099c https://www.bonfire.com/ernest-thoughts-podcast/?productType=bacf6cd6-b53d-469c-ab96-02afe5b15f71 https://es-tease.creator-spring.com/listing/ernest-thoughts-podcast-brande?product=1637 https://es-tease.creator-spring.com/listing/ernest-thoughts-podcast-brande?product=1565 My book: https://www.amazon.com/Late-Nights-Broadway-Ernest-Sandefer-ebook/dp/B08QDVN1SF/ref=sr_1_2?dchild=1&keywords=late+nights+on+broadway&qid=1619087498&sr=8-2#detailBullets_feature_div My blog: https://medium.com/@ernestsandefer --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/ernestthoughtspodcast/message Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/ernestthoughtspodcast/support
Coach Lee Hopkins is a communication coach who helps his clients build lasting and meaningful relationships. Lee is a transgender man who leverages his personal journey with clients and emphasizes the importance of vulnerability with oneself and others as essential to building meaningful relationships. Lee and Thomas discuss a variety of topics, including how there is no silver bullet to our problems, how to draw boundaries with empathy, and how the sharing the mundane aspects of our lives are essential for deep and durable relationships. Coach Lee's WebsiteTimestamps:1:00 - Lee's introduction - transgender identity and work as a coach 4:15 - There is no silver bullet 11:00 - Lee's life pre transition and what motivated him to transition?21:30 - Boundaries in relationships: Needs, Negotiables and Nevers 24:30 - Don't Ignore the things that you are angry about 33:00 - Lessons on true friendship and maintaining friendship - sharing the mundane 37:30 - How can someone make better relationships?47:30 - How to draw boundaries with empathy 49:30 - 3 Things Game Lee's Question: what are three things you have learned about wealth? Thomas' Questions - what are three things you would like to tell your younger self Our GDPR privacy policy was updated on August 8, 2022. Visit acast.com/privacy for more information.
On this episode we delve into the root causes of insecurity and low self esteem, why some of us have difficulty cultivating friendships, and much more with our special guest Lee Hopkins of Patterns of Possibility. --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/emmanuel-moulton-big-dawg079/message Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/emmanuel-moulton-big-dawg079/support