Rachel & Sam Read a Story

Joined once again by our guest Bridget Renshaw (@BridgetRenshaw), we read a story about a child who ASCENDS past the mere limits of his own fragile child-self and becomes a GOD!! At least, that's my theory. See, this kid discovers the Word. The true Word. The Magic Word. And by the power of Grayskull, he uses it. He uses it to the MAX. And just getting an amazing supply of sneakers isn't enough. He also commands an unholy army of walruses. FEAR AND WORSHIP PEYTON FOR HE IS YOUR NEW LORD AND MASTER!!   Rachel & Sam Read a Story is about the fun of reading children's books new and old, and also about how little sense these books make when you read them 20 years later. We read the books aloud and make fun of them as we go. Enjoy! Follow Sam (@SamGasch) or follow Rachel (@Sknowite). Either way, please subscribe!

There are monsters EVERYWHERE!! Well, not really, just one specific monster, but he IS on every page of this book! And sure, he's a monster, but he hates being called that. Floyd doesn't like labels. And we here at the podcast don't really like labels either. So here's out "friend" back again to join us for an episode, Bridget Renshaw (@BridgetRenshaw). We talk about books. We talk about food. We talk about all of those classic Rachel & Sam Read a Story classic topics, like Malka the dog! And being tired! And more food! And then we talk about this kidney bean shaped guy named Floyd Peterson. He seems like a chill dude for someone who is so classically designed to be scary. Makes ya think. Rachel & Sam Read a Story is about the fun of reading children's books new and old, and also about how little sense these books make when you read them 20 years later. We read the books aloud and make fun of them as we go. Enjoy! Follow Sam (@SamGasch) or follow Rachel (@Sknowite). Either way, please subscribe!

Rachel, if you did not already know this, is a fan of yarn. Like, a pretty big fan. The number 1 fan? Maybe not, but she's up there. So when she saw on the shelves a book about someone who just wanted to be left alone so that they could knit. SOLD. Easy. So we sat down today and chatted about movies we've been watching/being made to watch and then got into the main event. This old lady just HAD to get some knitting done and she moved HEAVEN AND EARTH to do it! I mean, I'm pretty sure she's a time-lord, but... well you just listen and figure it out for yourselves! Rachel & Sam Read a Story is about the fun of reading children's books new and old, and also about how little sense these books make when you read them 20 years later. We read the books aloud and make fun of them as we go. Enjoy! Follow Sam (@SamGasch) or follow Rachel (@Sknowite). Either way, please subscribe!

If listeners of this podcast know one thing, it's that we LOVE Josh Funk (@joshfunkbooks). Also his books are pretty fun. This is the 4th Josh Funk installment and Rachel and I were DELIGHTED to sink our teeth into it. (GET IT?? BECAUSE FOOD!) Inspector Croissant is a food after my own heart. And not just because I love croissants. Especially chocolate ones. But ALSO because I, too, have no idea when/where to properly use a magnifying glass. Is now the time? WHO KNOWS?? But this book is great. We really enjoyed it. So why not listen? WHY NOT LISTEN??? Rachel & Sam Read a Story is about the fun of reading children's books new and old, and also about how little sense these books make when you read them 20 years later. We read the books aloud and make fun of them as we go. Enjoy! Follow Sam (@SamGasch) or follow Rachel (@Sknowite). Either way, please subscribe!

We all have our favorite animals. Mine happens to be the Peregrine Falcon because it is AWESOME. Well not all animals get chosen. Some of those animals are the Blobfish. But Blobfish needs love and friendship too! So Blobfish is going to throw a party! Using his INCREDIBLE SUPERPOWERS Blobfish saves the day and brings about the greatest party known to all of humanity and mermaid-ity and bird-anity and farmer-anity. This book is super fun and adorable and I can personally attest that it brought our very own Rachel out of a deep funk. Thank you so much to Miranda Paul (@Miranda_Paul) for writing it and thanks to Little Bee Books (@littlebeebooks) for sending us a copy! Rachel & Sam Read a Story is about the fun of reading children's books new and old, and also about how little sense these books make when you read them 20 years later. We read the books aloud and make fun of them as we go. Enjoy! Follow Sam (@SamGasch) or follow Rachel (@Sknowite). Either way, please subscribe!

It's a Nerdist School Network cross-promotion! Amanda Barnes (@BarnesWrites and @ComicBookNovice) co-hosts the super wonderful and fun podcast The Novice and Frank! It's all about the world of comic books and superheroes, but did we have the perfect book for her! Superheroes taught us a valuable lesson about controlling our emotions and not being a dick. And we had a wonderfully fun time trying to figure out what they're names/super powers are! Isn't it great when a lesson also turns out to be fun? Seriously though, don't be a dick. And listen to Amanda's podcast. Rachel & Sam Read a Story is about the fun of reading children's books new and old, and also about how little sense these books make when you read them 20 years later. We read the books aloud and make fun of them as we go. Enjoy! Follow Sam (@SamGasch) or follow Rachel (@Sknowite). Either way, please subscribe!

We are joined this week by the incredibly talented and wonderful person, Harry Valentine (@hairyvalentine). And together we read a book that took three years to complete and won an ACADEMY AWARD. So I think THAT means that it should be good enough for you! The Fantastic Flying Books of Mr. Morris Lessmore is a wonderful journey into fantasy and an exploration of the love of a really good book. That is, assuming it isn't just the story Morris's brain concocts as he lies dying in the streets. Ummm..... ENJOY!!!!! Rachel & Sam Read a Story is about the fun of reading children's books new and old, and also about how little sense these books make when you read them 20 years later. We read the books aloud and make fun of them as we go. Enjoy! Follow Sam (@SamGasch) or follow Rachel (@Sknowite). Either way, please subscribe!

It's that time again. Passover! That time of year when we give up the sweet, sweet carbs we love and settle down to a nice, underwhelming book. This year's entry is Sesame Street themed! And boy, was it.... fine. Grover and Big Bird are visiting their friends in Israel, for some reason, because they don't know any Jews that live near them. For some reason. But WHATEVER! It's Passover! They don't need to explain anything! Just shovel out a new book so that they can cover that small part of the population that wasn't already covered. Also, I can't do Grover's voice. Like, at ALL. But in all seriousness, Sesame Street only exists because of the wonderful people at PBS. PBS provides a wonderful service to families and children all over the country. It's important and should be protected. Please, Support PBS. And support other services like it. Rachel & Sam Read a Story is about the fun of reading children's books new and old, and also about how little sense these books make when you read them 20 years later. We read the books aloud and make fun of them as we go. Enjoy! Follow Sam (@SamGasch) or follow Rachel (@Sknowite). Either way, please subscribe!

It's the Three Pigs! (editor's note: Not Little Pigs) One builds a house out of straw, another out of sticks, and a third out of bricks! But they build their houses out of THE VERY FABRIC THAT KNITS THEIR WORLD TOGETHER. AND NOW THAT FABRIC HAS BEEN TORN ASUNDER AND THEY MUST JOURNEY THROUGH THE VOID!! But anyway, it's fun! Listen now! Rachel & Sam Read a Story is about the fun of reading children's books new and old, and also about how little sense these books make when you read them 20 years later. We read the books aloud and make fun of them as we go. Enjoy! Follow Sam (@SamGasch) or follow Rachel (@Sknowite). Either way, please subscribe!

Ladies and gentlemen, this is a fine example of children's literature. As you can tell from the careful brushstrokes, to the-HEY EVERYONE!! YOU SHOULD LISTEN TO INTERRUPTING CHICKEN!! IT'S AN ADORABLE STORY ABOUT A LITTLE CHICKEN (note: Not Chicken Little) WHO ALWAYS FEELS THE NEED TO SAVE EVERYONE IN THE FAIRY TALES HIS DAD IS TRYING TO TELL HER! IT'S SUPER ADORABLE! LISTEN NOW! -is why we recommend it. Thank you for your time. Rachel & Sam Read a Story is about the fun of reading children's books new and old, and also about how little sense these books make when you read them 20 years later. We read the books aloud and make fun of them as we go. Enjoy! Follow Sam (@SamGasch) or follow Rachel (@Sknowite). Either way, please subscribe!

Did you know that they sold bicycles from catalogs? And di you know that they are, like, RIDICULOUSLY cheap? Neither did we. But Clyde knows. And Clyde took full advantage! With the help of his trusty dog, Dawg, Clyde gives riding a bike a try! Rachel and I already know how to ride bikes. Completely. No training wheels for us anymore. No sir. Um.... WELL EITHER WAY WE DEFINITELY KNOW HOW TO PODCAST, YES WE ARE PODCASTING NOW HOORAY!! Rachel & Sam Read a Story is about the fun of reading children's books new and old, and also about how little sense these books make when you read them 20 years later. We read the books aloud and make fun of them as we go. Enjoy! Follow Sam (@SamGasch) or follow Rachel (@Sknowite). Either way, please subscribe!

  Rachel and I are back to our old tricks! And by tricks, we mean reading awesomely adorable children's books! This week's picture book is NOT a picture book. Except that it is. And isn't? It's confusing. The important thing is that Rachel know about baking and watching TV, and Sam actually listened to an episode of this very podcast. NO WAY!! And this little book was just a strange journey into what the joy of reading can really be. It was great. Rachel & Sam Read a Story is about the fun of reading children's books new and old, and also about how little sense these books make when you read them 20 years later. We read the books aloud and make fun of them as we go. Enjoy! Follow Sam (@SamGasch) or follow Rachel (@Sknowite). Either way, please subscribe!

Episode #150 It's our SESQUICENTENNIAL!! That means it's our 150th episode. And sure, with lost episodes, and bonus episodes, we may have hit this a couple weeks ago, but this is the podcast with the NUMBER 150!!! So we had to do something special! We were joined by special guests from across the Nerdist School Network: Mike Sellari (no twitter), Chris Lord (@Lordopher), and Ryan Mogge (@rmogge)!! And we had a BLAST!! Super fun hanging out with all these cool people talking about a kinda adorable book. We learned a valuable lesson about whether or not to let birds operate heavy machinery, and had a great time while doing it. So if you enjoy this episode, you should give each of THEIR podcasts a listen! We promise that they are all amazing! Mike has the This on That podcast, Chris does the Timm Talk Podcast (which I was just a guest on), and Ryan has the Nerdist School classic HELLMOUTHY!! So check that out and we'll see you at number 200! Rachel & Sam Read a Story is about the fun of reading children's books new and old, and also about how little sense these books make when you read them 20 years later. We read the books aloud and make fun of them as we go. Enjoy! Follow Sam (@SamGasch) or follow Rachel (@Sknowite). Either way, please subscribe!

Iiiiit's SATURDAY! Or it was when we recorded (and I uploaded) this episode! And who better to appreciate a Saturday then a wonderful child. Or an absolutely HORRIBLE child, in this case. Man, if I was this kid's parent, there is no WAY I would put with this level of shenanigans. But these parents do. Because they are saints. Like all parents are, RIGHT MOM?? Rachel & Sam Read a Story is about the fun of reading children's books new and old, and also about how little sense these books make when you read them 20 years later. We read the books aloud and make fun of them as we go. Enjoy! Follow Sam (@SamGasch) or follow Rachel (@Sknowite). Either way, please subscribe!

It ain't easy bein' a ninja. Especially when your family is, like, SUPER busy. But sometimes you have the best family. Ninja! is a fun little story about Maxwell, who is a self-made ninja which is REALLY hard to do, must take on the greatest foe he's ever faced.... a 5-year-old girl. NOOOooOOoOOOoOOooooO!! But luckily, Maxwell has what it takes. And aside from the waste of what looked like a really delicious meal, this little book is sweet and adorable. So check it out! Rachel & Sam Read a Story is about the fun of reading children's books new and old, and also about how little sense these books make when you read them 20 years later. We read the books aloud and make fun of them as we go. Enjoy! Follow Sam (@SamGasch) or follow Rachel (@Sknowite). Either way, please subscribe!

Man, having a nice family is great. This week and next's podcast are all about just... the BEST families! Thunder Boy Jr., in particular, talks about a son living in the shadows of his Dad and wanting to find a way to find his own identity. It is adorable and beautiful! But I think that we can all agree that the absolute BEST part of this book is when they compliment the name Sam. Mr. Alexie was correct to compliment the greatest of names. We Sam's are humbled to have been gifted with such a good name. And we thank Mr. Alexie for bringing the world's attention to its MAJESTY! So take a listen to Thunder Boy Jr. (by - Sherman Alexie & Yuyi Morales) and revel in being in the presence of a SAM! (and also a Rachel we guess.) Rachel & Sam Read a Story is about the fun of reading children's books new and old, and also about how little sense these books make when you read them 20 years later. We read the books aloud and make fun of them as we go. Enjoy! Follow Sam (@SamGasch) or follow Rachel (@Sknowite). Either way, please subscribe!

Hoo boy, this book... The full title for this book is "Dante's Journey: An Infernal Adventure." And it... it is NOT good. I mean, if you're the sort of parent who wants to TERRIFY YOUR CHILD, then yeah sure, this book is for you. But if you're an parent who is in ANY WAY SENSIBLE, then DAMN. And if you're a millennial like us who takes delight in pointing out the hubris and foibles of hypocritical, then HOORAY! We're gonna have some fun! Because in this podcast.... YOU... will go... to HELL!!!!!! We also had a guest, but he doesn't want to be discovered on the internet, so... Rachel & Sam Read a Story is about the fun of reading children's books new and old, and also about how little sense these books make when you read them 20 years later. We read the books aloud and make fun of them as we go. Enjoy! Follow Sam (@SamGasch) or follow Rachel (@Sknowite). Either way, please subscribe!

Now, I don't know about you, but I play D&D. (I mean, I actually prefer the Savage Worlds play style, since it relies more on creativity and less on dice rolls, but since all I can get is D&D at the moment, it's fine.) And like anyone else who's played D&D, I have raided my share of dungeons and killed my share of Goblins. But what about those Goblins? What about those Dungeons? Don't they have feelings too? Yes. And also they are adorable. Rachel & Sam Read a Story is about the fun of reading children's books new and old, and also about how little sense these books make when you read them 20 years later. We read the books aloud and make fun of them as we go. Enjoy! Follow Sam (@SamGasch) or follow Rachel (@Sknowite). Either way, please subscribe!

After almost two and a half YEARS, Rachel and I finally returned to Rachel's author crush Jon Klassen (@burstofbeaden)! He wrote the books I Want My Hat Back and This is Not My Hat which are absolutely PHENOMENAL children's books. And now there is a third in the Klass-Hat-Based-Books! Hooray! This is the story about two turtles who find a hat. And all the WACKY hijinks that ensue! HAHAHAHAHA!!! What fun! Also, this book is great. Listen now! Rachel & Sam Read a Story is about the fun of reading children's books new and old, and also about how little sense these books make when you read them 20 years later. We read the books aloud and make fun of them as we go. Enjoy! Follow Sam (@SamGasch) or follow Rachel (@Sknowite). Either way, please subscribe!

So last month I took a little trip to something in Pasadena called DesignerCon! While there, I found a little booth where a nice gentleman named Dane Ault (@monkeyminion) was selling children's cooks that he had illustrated himself! And he even had a parody of the Rachel & Sam classic: Are you my Mother? I had to buy it. And I had to surprise/give it to Rachel. It's a cute little book, but you can hear it for yourself! Because that's our final book for 2016! Rachel & Sam Read a Story is about the fun of reading children's books new and old, and also about how little sense these books make when you read them 20 years later. We read the books aloud and make fun of them as we go. Enjoy! Follow Sam (@SamGasch) or follow Rachel (@Sknowite). Either way, please subscribe!

We've all seen the movie. No, seriously, we've ALL seen the movie. But did you know that Tim Burton also made The Nightmare Before Christmas into a children's book? It's similar but different! Jack is way, WAY more of a narcissist. And, frankly, he wasn't doing too well on that score in the movie. But it's nice every once in a while to remind yourself that Tim Burton has been doing this a long time and is damn fine artist! Rachel & Sam Read a Story is about the fun of reading children's books new and old, and also about how little sense these books make when you read them 20 years later. We read the books aloud and make fun of them as we go. Enjoy! Follow Sam (@SamGasch) or follow Rachel (@Sknowite). Either way, please subscribe!

Monsters are TERRIFYING. If they aren't stomping around wreaking havoc and destruction, then they are trying to EAT you! Oh, these monsters are asleep. And this Little Monster is just telling us about them and making a little recording. That's okay, we guess! Maybe monsters aren't so bad after all! Rachel & Sam Read a Story is about the fun of reading children's books new and old, and also about how little sense these books make when you read them 20 years later. We read the books aloud and make fun of them as we go. Enjoy! Follow Sam (@SamGasch) or follow Rachel (@Sknowite). Either way, please subscribe!

  THERE CAN BE ONLY ONE! Or... EIGHT! Four? Um... Hello! This little guy's name is Octicorn and he is the result of a Unicorn Daddy and and Octopus Mommy! I think there's the potential for a lewd joke there, but this is a podcast about childish kid things so I won't make it! See, the thing about Octicorn is that he knows he's a little weird, but he just wants a friend. Weill you be his friend? I mean, I would, but... y'know. I've been busy... And stuff. Rachel & Sam Read a Story is about the fun of reading children's books new and old, and also about how little sense these books make when you read them 20 years later. We read the books aloud and make fun of them as we go. Enjoy! Follow Sam (@SamGasch) or follow Rachel (@Sknowite). Either way, please subscribe!

Thanksgiving was a lot of fun, but you know what's MORE fun that Thanksgiving? Well, with my family, really anything, but in the context of this podcast... DINOSAURS WRESTLING!! Joined by Paul Laier (@PaulBrawl) we take a real close look at the world of wrestling when it's done by dinosaurs. And rhymes. And is awesome. Ever wonder who'd win between an T. Rex and a Stegosaurus, but in a Greco-Roman Style Match?? WELL LOOK NO FURTHER!! Rachel & Sam Read a Story is about the fun of reading children's books new and old, and also about how little sense these books make when you read them 20 years later. We read the books aloud and make fun of them as we go. Enjoy! Follow Sam (@SamGasch) or follow Rachel (@Sknowite). Either way, please subscribe!

  This week is Thanksgiving in the United States! A wonderful holiday where we all go home and argue with our families! No wait, it's the holiday where express joy over our annihilation of the native populace! OOOO absolutely not that, no. We are... thankful? Yeah! And this week we are VERY thankful for a Pirate Ship full of dinosaurs. Because there is no part of that sentence that I don't like! What a time to be alive! Rachel & Sam Read a Story is about the fun of reading children's books new and old, and also about how little sense these books make when you read them 20 years later. We read the books aloud and make fun of them as we go. Enjoy! Follow Sam (@SamGasch) or follow Rachel (@Sknowite). Either way, please subscribe!

And now it's time to get silly. And nothing is sillier than a duck on a tractor! Well, maybe not as silly as a duck and cow on a tractor. And even THAT isn't quite as silly as a duck and a cow and a goat on a tractor. And beyond THAT- Okay, some silliness is occurring and I don't want to get in its way. I'm just going to say, give this episode a listen, and make sure you're ready to speak your mind. Rachel & Sam Read a Story is about the fun of reading children's books new and old, and also about how little sense these books make when you read them 20 years later. We read the books aloud and make fun of them as we go. Enjoy! Follow Sam (@SamGasch) or follow Rachel (@Sknowite). Either way, please subscribe!

Tomorrow is Super Tuesday. In the United States that means that we are VOTING tomorrow. And in this particular year, it is INCREDIBLY important that we all vote. I mean, it's important every year, but I mean, 2016 is just sort of a, wow, QUITE an outlier. Rachel suggested, and I agreed, that this would be a good week to read a kid's book about voting, to make sure everyone has a sense of the importance of voting tomorrow. Because it IS really important. So vote! Because not every always could. Even now, so many people can't. So it's important. Rachel & Sam Read a Story is about the fun of reading children's books new and old, and also about how little sense these books make when you read them 20 years later. We read the books aloud and make fun of them as we go. Enjoy! Follow Sam (@SamGasch) or follow Rachel (@Sknowite). Either way, please subscribe!

Space. The final... book-tier. (That's a thing right? "Book-tier?" ... NO?? Fine. Whatever.) These are the stories of a young man, his dog, and robot co-pilot as they face off against Space's scariest nemesis. The....... SPACE PIRATE!! OOOoooooOOOOoooOOOOO!!! Rachel & Sam Read a Story is about the fun of reading children's books new and old, and also about how little sense these books make when you read them 20 years later. We read the books aloud and make fun of them as we go. Enjoy! Follow Sam (@SamGasch) or follow Rachel (@Sknowite). Either way, please subscribe!

You guys, Rachel did it! She found this book from my childhood! It's is the tale of a magical world populated only by a WONDERFUL selection of capybaras. Can you think of a more ideal planet? No. And neither can I. Especially if that planet also has internet. But no really, you know how some books just stay with you from childhood, no matter what and you still think about them from time to time? The Wump World is that book for me. I hope you like it because I sure do! Rachel & Sam Read a Story is about the fun of reading children's books new and old, and also about how little sense these books make when you read them 20 years later. We read the books aloud and make fun of them as we go. Enjoy! Follow Sam (@SamGasch) or follow Rachel (@Sknowite). Either way, please subscribe!

Because crying "wolf" is SO last millenium. Ben is a little boy who likes to tell stories. Or as we, adults, like to call them: LIES. Horrible, Horrible lies. Made up by communists. Unless those lies are true. And ESPECIALLY if those lies lead to the creation of a completely ridiculous reality show. But I digress. Here's a podcast: Rachel & Sam Read a Story is about the fun of reading children's books new and old, and also about how little sense these books make when you read them 20 years later. We read the books aloud and make fun of them as we go. Enjoy! Follow Sam (@SamGasch) or follow Rachel (@Sknowite). Either way, please subscribe!

The Bear ate it. We saw, or rather read about, the whole thing! And man, that bear sure had an amazing day! Just picture this bear on his FIRST day in the big city! Oh boy! He's gonna get an ice cream cone, take a picture at the top of the Empire State Building, through his lovely hat into the air while spinning around and arou- Hmmm... I might be thinking of something different. Anyway, this book is great! Rachel & Sam Read a Story is about the fun of reading children's books new and old, and also about how little sense these books make when you read them 20 years later. We read the books aloud and make fun of them as we go. Enjoy! Follow Sam (@SamGasch) or follow Rachel (@Sknowite). Either way, please subscribe!

Quackers is a duck. Oh sure, Quackers may look like a cat, and SOUND like a cat. But I tell you true! Quackers is a duck. Mittens, on the other hand (Ha HA! Puns!), is the weirdest duck that Quackers has ever met and Quackers is excited to find out more. And also, at the end, an argument about Vegan life-choices. (Sam is definitely right!) Rachel & Sam Read a Story is about the fun of reading children's books new and old, and also about how little sense these books make when you read them 20 years later. We read the books aloud and make fun of them as we go. Enjoy! Follow Sam (@SamGasch) or follow Rachel (@Sknowite). Either way, please subscribe!

Rachel and Sam may be tired, but Bear is not. No sir. Bear will be hanging out ALL winter with his little ducky friends. But friends, Winter is Coming. And Bear must prepare. For the Night is dark and full of terrors. And Ducks. The night is dark and full of terror and ducks. I think that's about right. Rachel & Sam Read a Story is about the fun of reading children's books new and old, and also about how little sense these books make when you read them 20 years later. We read the books aloud and make fun of them as we go. Enjoy! Follow Sam (@SamGasch) or follow Rachel (@Sknowite). Either way, please subscribe!

Be warned! The contents of this book have been known to be volatile and try to escape! Be secondarily warned! Sam's is having to skype in this episode and it's a little fuzzy. But most importantly, no matter WHAT you do, DO. NOT. OPEN. THIS. BOOK. But I mean... now we kinda gotta! Right? Rachel & Sam Read a Story is about the fun of reading children's books new and old, and also about how little sense these books make when you read them 20 years later. We read the books aloud and make fun of them as we go. Enjoy! Follow Sam (@SamGasch) or follow Rachel (@Sknowite). Either way, please subscribe!

  I've never had a pen pal before. It always seemed like a cool thing to have. When my friend Payim moved away when I was a kid, I suggested we be pen pals, but it never happened. Now this kid, George, he DOES get to have a pen pal. And it's a DRAGON! How AWESOME is that?? And this guy, Blaise, gets to have a pen pal and it's a HUMAN?? WHOA!! So basically, George gets to have the childhood I wished I had. Rachel & Sam Read a Story is about the fun of reading children's books new and old, and also about how little sense these books make when you read them 20 years later. We read the books aloud and make fun of them as we go. Enjoy! Follow Sam (@SamGasch) or follow Rachel (@Sknowite). Either way, please subscribe!

How many haircuts does a person need at a time? ONE! Ah-ah-ah! Alright, you may now commence boo-ing. Y'know, like a ghost! Oh man, I can't stop myself. Anyway, this is a cute little book about a little girl who's afraid of getting haircuts, and what better what to get over one fear than having it presented to you by a BLOOD-SUCKING VAMPIRE????? I honestly can't think of a better way. Rachel & Sam Read a Story is about the fun of reading children's books new and old, and also about how little sense these books make when you read them 20 years later. We read the books aloud and make fun of them as we go. Enjoy! Follow Sam (@SamGasch) or follow Rachel (@Sknowite). Either way, please subscribe!

You have to admire a bear that knows what he wants. And Bruce wants eggs, so he goes out and GETS them. Of course, eggs always have a different maturation time and if Bruce get's the timing SLIGHTY wrong, then- Well now we've got ourselves a Mother Goose Bruce. Rachel thought this book was absolutely adorable and I have to agree. Poor Bruce. It's not easy being a bear. Who's hungry. Grrrrrrrrrr Rachel & Sam Read a Story is about the fun of reading children's books new and old, and also about how little sense these books make when you read them 20 years later. We read the books aloud and make fun of them as we go. Enjoy! Follow Sam (@SamGasch) or follow Rachel (@Sknowite). Either way, please subscribe!

  We are just on a 4th wall breaking kick! Frankencrayon promised to be an amazing book. Unfortunately though, it was CANCELLED. So what's a cast of crayons to do? Well I mean they HAVE to explain what happened. A book doesn't just get cancelled for no reason... right?? Frankencrayon is a fun little book and it's interesting to step inside the thought process of a crayon. Rachel & Sam Read a Story is about the fun of reading children's books new and old, and also about how little sense these books make when you read them 20 years later. We read the books aloud and make fun of them as we go. Enjoy! Follow Sam (@SamGasch) or follow Rachel (@Sknowite). Either way, please subscribe!

Times when you would be surprised to find the library open: Midnight. Times when THIS library IS open: Midnight (until Dawn). Patrons of previously mentioned Midnight Library: Aminals. All SORTS of aminals! We gots squirrels. A lady wolf. And a TURTLE! I like turtles. And you will like this book! Plus, it's art is made from Prints. And that is just crazy! Rachel & Sam Read a Story is about the fun of reading children's books new and old, and also about how little sense these books make when you read them 20 years later. We read the books aloud and make fun of them as we go. Enjoy! Follow Sam (@SamGasch) or follow Rachel (@Sknowite). Either way, please subscribe!

You guys. Did you know that there is a skeleton INSIDE YOUR BODY, like, ALL the time?? Because I sure didn't know. Neither did Samira. It's sure weird and gross. Who'd even WANT a skeleton in your body? It would go wherever you go and see whatever you do! How weird is that?? All the weird. So this book is fun little exploration in how we're all the same inside. It's the outside of is that's about to get murdered by mothers. Particularly THIS mother. But I don't want to spoil anything, give this episode a listen! Rachel & Sam Read a Story is about the fun of reading children's books new and old, and also about how little sense these books make when you read them 20 years later. We read the books aloud and make fun of them as we go. Enjoy! Follow Sam (@SamGasch) or follow Rachel (@Sknowite). Either way, please subscribe!

It's simple. If you stop listening, we slowly fade away. The attentive ears of a grateful audience are all that breathed life into us in the first place, and now, you're thinking about NOT listening? .....oh no! This book, Please Open this Book, is similar. These poor adorable animals only exist within the pages of this book. But you MONSTERS callously insist on closing the cover. Why? WHY? WHYYYYYYYY?? Would a banana make it better? Good. Rachel & Sam Read a Story is about the fun of reading children's books new and old, and also about how little sense these books make when you read them 20 years later. We read the books aloud and make fun of them as we go. Enjoy! Follow Sam (@SamGasch) or follow Rachel (@Sknowite). Either way, please subscribe!

Poor Mr. Pip. If only people understood him more! Or if he were named after one of the less... thrown-away-y parts of a fruit! But I guess it's not all bad. He is owned by THE famous actor. So that's nice. Then he gets put on loan to what has to be the most well-funded science institute OF ALL TIME. Seriously, robots, rockets to the moon, and MORE robots. It's crazy! And all just to make Mr. Pip happy! Hmmm... I guess like isn't so bad for this monkey! Rachel & Sam Read a Story is about the fun of reading children's books new and old, and also about how little sense these books make when you read them 20 years later. We read the books aloud and make fun of them as we go. Enjoy! Follow Sam (@SamGasch) or follow Rachel (@Sknowite). Either way, please subscribe!

I have been requesting this book for some time. It is good book. Or rather, I should say it is a good part of an otherwise ALSO good book! The Stinky Cheese Man is one of those play-on fairy tales that so accurately captures the spirit of the original while simultaneously parodying it, that I just think we should just have this and move on with our lives. Rachel was convinced. And I will just say, for the record, that Blue Cheese is delicious. Rachel & Sam Read a Story is about the fun of reading children's books new and old, and also about how little sense these books make when you read them 20 years later. We read the books aloud and make fun of them as we go. Enjoy! Follow Sam (@SamGasch) or follow Rachel (@Sknowite). Either way, please subscribe!

We did not see this book coming. Seriously, out of left field it was. Anyway, there's this kid that comes to town. Mighty fine sheriff this youngin' turns out to be. Now, sure, you might be athinkin' that ain't no kid should be policin' the streets of such a rough a tumble town. Well, you'd be wrong. Addendum: WHO kisses a COW? Since when is that a THING?? Rachel & Sam Read a Story is about the fun of reading children's books new and old, and also about how little sense these books make when you read them 20 years later. We read the books aloud and make fun of them as we go. Enjoy! Follow Sam (@SamGasch) or follow Rachel (@Sknowite). Either way, please subscribe!

I mean, sure, a lot of kids would want a puppy. Or a cat of some variety. They're quite popular after all. But, if your world is populated by baby monsters, then wouldn't you just want one of those adorable little fuzzballs for your very own? I dunno, probably! I Want a MONSTER! Is a super fun look at a kid who just wants a pet, but sometimes the pet you want is a little more than you can handle. The important thing is we all learned a valuable lesson about... wait... what was that? ... We DIDN'T learn a lesson? ... We didn't learn ANYTHING? ... Well, at least we had fun! Rachel & Sam Read a Story is about the fun of reading children's books new and old, and also about how little sense these books make when you read them 20 years later. We read the books aloud and make fun of them as we go. Enjoy! Follow Sam (@SamGasch) or follow Rachel (@Sknowite). Either way, please subscribe!

Man, if there's one thing I've always hated... it's bedtime. Sure, there all fun during the day. And it's so cute when they try and get there work done or ask for help, but the end of the day... UGG. I really don't like having to put my parents to bed. Luckily there's a book with some helpful suggestions about how to make the process a whole lot smoother. Because let me tell ya, I'm never upset to get those "putting parents to bed life hacks" on my facebook page. Give it a listen and maybe you'll learn a trick or two, um, too. Rachel & Sam Read a Story is about the fun of reading children's books new and old, and also about how little sense these books make when you read them 20 years later. We read the books aloud and make fun of them as we go. Enjoy! Follow Sam (@SamGasch) or follow Rachel (@Sknowite). Either way, please subscribe!

MuAHAHAHAHAHAHAAA!! Oh, ahem, excuse me! I didn't see you sitting there. I was practicing my evil laugh. The teacher says that if I don't get it just right by next Tuesday, then I may have to stay back a grade. I wish I were a natural super-villain. Man, if this stuff came more easily, this'd be great! Like that Dylan kid. Now THERE is a kids who's going places in villainy. I can only dream of being that good. Now, if you'll excuse me. Erhmm. Ah ha ha ha! BAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAA!!!! Rachel & Sam Read a Story is about the fun of reading children's books new and old, and also about how little sense these books make when you read them 20 years later. We read the books aloud and make fun of them as we go. Enjoy! Follow Sam (@SamGasch) or follow Rachel (@Sknowite). Either way, please subscribe!

You ever wonder what your food does as soon as you close the refrigerator door? Well, worry no more because Lady Pancake & Sir French Toast is here to answer that question using delightful rhyme-scheme. So sit back and enjoy this world full of horrible mutilations and presumed cannibalism! At least, that was out take. But the real issue here, is one that I just thought of. If this is the world on the other side of the refrigerator door... how are any of the characters able to see? I'm pretty sure the light in the fridge turns off when I close the door, but... hmmmm... I better go check. Rachel & Sam Read a Story is about the fun of reading children's books new and old, and also about how little sense these books make when you read them 20 years later. We read the books aloud and make fun of them as we go. Enjoy! Follow Sam (@SamGasch) or follow Rachel (@Sknowite). Either way, please subscribe!

Jungle Book is all sorts of popular right now. And it should be. It's great! But what if the kid raised by wolves actually lived with the rest of humanity? How endearing would it be then? Still quite endearing, it turns out! Steve, Raised by Wolves is about alternate universe Calvin, or rather what Calvin WISHES his life were like, but I might just be projecting. Or maybe I'm not. WHO KNOWS?? It's a book about a kid with odd parents, but at the end of the day, isn't every book about that? Rachel & Sam Read a Story is about the fun of reading children's books new and old, and also about how little sense these books make when you read them 20 years later. We read the books aloud and make fun of them as we go. Enjoy! Follow Sam (@SamGasch) or follow Rachel (@Sknowite). Either way, please subscribe!

Jimmy Fallon, you scoundrel you, how are you gonna convince your kids to say "Dada" before "Mama"? Ah, I see, you chose to write  book where EVERY OTHER WORD IS DADA. *sigh* Look, I can understand the desperate need to defeat your wife. I really do. (Believe me) But I can't help but feel as though this is cheating. We get to learn about aminals (spelled correctly) and... emotions I guess? But the real question, Jimmy, is this: Did it work? No? Ah. Well... that's too bad. Rachel & Sam Read a Story is about the fun of reading children's books new and old, and also about how little sense these books make when you read them 20 years later. We read the books aloud and make fun of them as we go. Enjoy! Follow Sam (@SamGasch) or follow Rachel (@Sknowite). Either way, please subscribe!

  And we're back! Sam finally has his voice back so we are deLIGHTED to return to recording fun episodes of a fun show! And we're super excited that the first of those episodes is this one. 10,000 Dresses is an amazing book that stars a young trans girl. She dreams of all the different beautiful dresses she'd like to wear someday, but her family isn't willing to accept her for who she is. But in the end, she finds a friend who does and together they make the dresses together! There are very few books that focus on trans issues, even LESS that are designed to help build an understanding in children, and even FEWER that are truly this good. 10,000 Dresses is an important book, but most importantly, it is a good one too. Give it a listen and let us know what you think! Rachel & Sam Read a Story is about the fun of reading children's books new and old, and also about how little sense these books make when you read them 20 years later. We read the books aloud and make fun of them as we go. Enjoy! Follow Sam (@SamGasch) or follow Rachel (@Sknowite). Either way, please subscribe!