Sam Malone Show Marriage Talk with Sam Malone and Honor The Vow's Robert Cossick

The U.S. spends approximately $2 Billion a year on road markings, the most prevalent being lane markings. While you can't really quantify the safety benefits of these markings, it's generally safe to say that lane markings play a critical role in helping drivers safely operate their vehicle by identifying the boundaries of each lane. ‘Lane' markings can play a critical role in you marriage as well with regards to boundaries you should respect for a great marriage.

#398: Marketing refers to ways companies promote a product or service and there are four main elements to a good marketing strategy known as the 4 P's: Product, Price, Place, and Promotion. Every spouse has a need for certain products, so we want to help you learn how to market those products at home.

#397: Setting aside the debate about the cost of her getting her hair and nails done, not noticing that she got them done can be pretty bad. Why is that bad? Because it's likely that when you were dating you noticed a lot of things about her including when she changed her hair, or had her nails done. If she's mad that you didn't notice those things now, it's usually because she feels you don't notice anything about her.

#396: For Rocktober we started with classic rock songs that offered ways to have an even greater marriage. Then last week we went a different direction and had some fun identifying songs you wouldn't want to dedicate to your spouse. For the last Friday of Rocktober, we want to inspire the best part of marriage and bring in a few songs that will rock you all the way to a romantic evening.

#395: The Rock n Roll era produced some great love songs that are often incorporated into weddings and anniversary celebrations. We've covered a couple of them already this month. However, we thought it would be a bit more fun to talk about songs you may ‘not' want to dedicate to your loved one.

#394: Released as a single in 1976, 10cc's song, ‘The Things We Do For Love' made it all the way to No. 5 in the US, and became the band's best-selling single. This song is about the ups and downs spouses face in their marriage. With that said, lets look at a couple of the song's lyrics…

#393: This week's song is Sweet Child O' Mine by Guns N' Roses. It was originally released in 1988, and is the band's only U.S. #1 single. While the song's lyrics contain a traditional love message of his feelings for his girlfriend, it's the ending of the song we want to focus on today where Axl asks the question, “Where do we go from here?”

#392: When the student becomes the teacher the learning goes through the roof. In this segment we are going to create a marriage tip together. Many different resources are available to help with developing marriage tips and in this segment we tend to use all of them such as case studies, polls, and personal experiences. There are also more lighthearted approaches including analogies, and play on words, all of which are wrapped up in a blanket of creativity.

#391: Two great quotes: “A goal without a plan is just a wish” and “Never confuse effort with results” These statements are critical in all aspects of life because without a goal and a clear plan to achieve that goal, our efforts will be inefficient and likely to fail. Your efforts will also have no basis for learning how to do things better next time. Goals and plans are not needed for everything, but when it comes to the bigger things, such as turning around a marriage or making a great marriage even greater, clear goals and plans are essential.

#390: Carrots are definitely healthier for you but eating cake is more fun. However, a diet of just carrots or just cake will not be healthy or fun in the long-term. The same is true of marriage, an always serious marriage or a marriage of nothing but silliness will not be beneficial to the health of your marriage long-term. Remember: A positive action or habit taken to an extreme becomes a negative.

#389: I this segment we discuss How to Live in the Moment. Looking back and remembering times past is not a bad thing unless you find yourself often wondering what life woulda, coulda, shoulda been like if you had made different choices. That's referred to as ‘living in the past' and it will do virtually nothing positive for your marriage. Rather than living in the past, we suggest you live in the moment instead. Why? Because now is all you have control of.

#388: We believe God, who created marriage, should be included in every marriage. With that said, there are the traditional verses about loving and respecting each other, encouraging each other, and speaking kindly to each. But, there are also a few more lighthearted verses as well. Here are just a couple of historical laws and definitions to hopefully bring a little laughter to you today.

#387: “A simpler, less stressful, less complex life is something everyone desperately wants to believe is, one day, going to become a reality. It's the hope and anticipation of some future event that keeps that dream alive…The problem is, those events come and go and life never seems to get simpler. In fact, life gets more complicated as time passes.” In this segment we discuss: How to Simplify Your Life.

#386: When you experience emotional sadness, it's because you actually care about the other person and what they think about you. In this segment we discuss situations which ‘can' cause emotional sadness and how to address them.

#385: How to Grow Through the Breaking Point. Your breaking point is the point at which you decide enough is enough and something has to give. By ‘give' we mean something has to change, the status quo is no longer acceptable. At the breaking point there's really only two options. You can choose to fight for your marriage and commit to fixing it, or you can choose to give up and walk away, the choice is yours.

#384: When you're married, there's nothing ‘innocent' about flirting with others. When you do that, you're seeking the attention of and emotional connection to someone other than your spouse. That's referred to as having an ‘emotional' affair. The best way to avoid being drawn into an emotional affair with someone else, is to redirect that desire by flirting with your spouse instead.

#383: Contrary to Hollywood and the mainstream media's attacks on marriage, most people are genuinely pro marriage. In fact, most of the marriage controversy has nothing to do with the institution of marriage but rather what constitutes a marriage. Nonetheless, people want to be married. That prompts the question, “Why?” Reminding yourself why you wanted to be married will help get you back on tract to a great marriage.

#382: It's been a long day, the kids are finally in bed, the evening chores are complete, and you and your spouse head to the bedroom for some ‘us' time. But then the attacks begin, a knock at the door from your child who is scared, the dog that wants to sleep on the bed between you, or the beep of your phone that will drive you nuts until you look at it. These are known as invaders of your 'spouse only' space and without intending it, they will tear at the bonds holding your marriage together.

#381: The institution of marriage was designed by God with the union of Adam and Eve, Genesis chapter 2 verse 24, “Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh.” Marriage in and of itself is fairly simple: love, respect, and honor each other. When we confuse choices with feelings the simplicity becomes complex and that can turn a marriage upside down.

#380: Neuroplasticity is the capacity of neurons and neural networks in the brain to change their connections and behavior in response to new information, sensory stimulation, new developments, or damage to the brain. For us non scientific nerds, Neuroplasticity is the ability to teach an old dog new tricks.

#379: We will all fail our spouse to some degree or another and, unfortunately, we'll experience that emotion more than a few times during our marriage. And even though we know it will happen, it doesn't change the fact that failing still stinks, especially when we fail someone we care deeply about. Failure gets even more complicated when we confuse Guilt and Shame.

#378: Nobody likes getting sick and no one likes to be inconvenienced, but unfortunately, everyone gets sick and being sick creates all kinds of inconveniences for those who are sick and those taking care of them. So, how do you deal with being inconvenienced by a loved one who is sick?

#377: Concrete makes a great foundation for all kinds of structures. It's strong, resistant to wear, and holds up well under stress. 4 Components in a Concrete Foundation applied to a great marriage foundation.

#375: “You're All I Need” is a great cliché and sounds good on a card, but what does it really mean when your spouse says it to you? That question gets even more complicated when you factor in figurative meanings. With that said, we simply want to incite you to think about what you really need and want from your spouse. Needs and Wants to Consider…

#374: The Biblical book of Proverbs chapter 13, verse 20 provides the following guidance, “Whoever walks with the wise becomes wise, but the companion of fools will suffer harm.” Who's in your Circle of Influence? Are they people who will help you have a great marriage, or will they point out the worst of your marriage?

#373: Introverts can be fun too, but only if you understand their personality and how they best interact with others. Dispelling Myths About Introverts

#372: Everyone has a dream. Maybe it's of the perfect vacation, or a home on a lake, or to bring that fire back in your marriage again. So, what do you dream about? While dreaming is generally a good thing it can actually have a positive or a negative impact on your marriage. The difference is in how the dream impacts you today.

#371: Like their names suggest, primary emotions are the emotions you feel first (immediately after encountering a trigger) and secondary emotions are the emotions you feel after your primary emotions. In this segment, how to distinguish and respond to both.

#370: We all want to avoid being hurt emotionally, it's why some topics are packed tightly away, never to be discussed. Unfortunately, that option doesn't actually avoid pain, it merely shifts the underlying issue to other areas of your marriage, such as lack of trust. Alternatively, each time you address a pain point you have an opportunity to heal it.

#369: Most couples connect their spouse's current actions with their historical actions as an indicator of, ‘Here we go again.' However, that approach may be setting your marriage up for a guaranteed failure because the intention behind the past and current actions may be completely unrelated. Jumping to conclusions can destroy your marriage.

#368: Blaming someone is an attack against them, while understanding what happened is an opportunity to improve your relationship. So, how do you tell the difference? It all depends on whether we're talking about You or Me. Not about who is at fault, but rather who is the focus of the discussion.

Valentine's Day is Monday and it's a day when we're ‘commanded' to express our love, especially for our spouse. However, it's also a day that's often filled with disappointment when our expressions come up short of our spouse's expectations. While we shouldn't need a card company to tell us when to express our love for our spouse, Valentine's Day should be a day when we express our love for each other in a more meaningful way. In this segment we discuss, How to ‘Honor Your Valentine' on Valentine's Day.

#365: Even a great marriage can become greater, therefore, every marriage can get better. Why is that? Because it's impossible for two ‘imperfect' people to be perfect, so there's always room for improvement, even if it's only minor tweaks. So, whether your marriage is on the brink of divorce or you're just interested in seeing how much more marital bliss you can achieve, the starting point is the same, you set a baseline.

#364: couples who ‘actively participate' in church and ‘actually exhibit' faith based principles in their everyday life, the divorce rate is substantially lower, around 3%. In this segment we discuss, Why Active Faith Protects a Marriage.

#363: Honor is a non-negotiable in a great marriage, you must honor your spouse. But what does that really mean? Honor in its simplest terms means to have high respect and great esteem for someone. In this segment we discuss, How to Show Respect and Esteem for Your Spouse

#362: Last week we noted that Love is key to a great marriage but friendship is the fuel that sustains your love for each other. This week we'd like to circle back around to Love and discuss what Loving Someone really means. To do that we need understand the different types of Love.

#361: Yes, love is important for a successful marriage and so are those warm fuzzy feelings for each other. However, a really strong friendship will be the fuel that drives and sustains both of those. In this segment we discuss how to build a great friendship with your spouse.

#360: In this segment we discuss great communication. A survey of divorcing couples indicated 73% say a lack of commitment is the reason, while 45% also blamed unrealistic expectations. I think we can conclude from those statistics that communication is the real culprit. Maybe they just don't know how to express their commitment and expectations in a way their spouse will understand.

#359: How to Fix a Boring Marriage. We are strong advocates of continuing to date your spouse, but what do you do when your date nights become mundane? You should date other people. Not seek a different physical person, but rather look for a different emotional connections to your spouse.

#358: In 1971 on his first studio album, Billy Joel introduced the song, She's Got A Way. In the song, Billy sings about her presence. In this segment we discuss how to be emotionally attractive to your spouse.

#357: Overthinking is when you dwell on something or replay a situation over and over in your head. That process typically leads to a distorted view of motives. An example could be, your spouse says something that offended you. You then replay the conversation over and over in your head. This leads to a fabrication of their intent for saying what they said. This in turn generates unwarranted anger and/or resentment towards them and from there it only gets worse.

#356: Believe it or not, the dishwasher is a major stumbling block for couples. According to a survey by a major appliance manufacturer of its customers, couples most frequently argue about whether or not to rinse the dishes before putting them in the dishwasher.

#355: How to deal with literalists who constantly correct you. You know who we're talking about, that person who has to be sure every detail of ‘your' story is accurate enough to be used as a deposition. Example: You: “Then a blue car zipped in and took my parking spot” … Literalist interrupts: “Actually, it was more like a powder blue car.

#354: In the Invisible Gorilla experiment, observers were asked to watch a basketball game and count the number of times the ball was passed between members of the same team. In the middle of the game, a person in a gorilla suit walked across the court. When questioned about the gorilla after the game, only half of the observers said they saw the gorilla. The gorilla study illustrated that when we are hyper focused we can be blind to the obvious.

Back on Segment 222 we asked you to give your spouse another chance if they were willing to fix the marriage. But, what if you're already divorced, would you ever consider remarrying your Ex? Most everyone would say, “Absolutely not.” However, Mr. Cossick would encourage the complete opposite response. In this segment we discuss why you should remarry your Ex and how to date your Ex.

#352: The 'Marriage Talk' segment actually began in May 2011 and was brought to this station in 2013 when Sam joined the Salem radio platform. When the segment began, it focused mainly on current events related to marriage. By tip #104 the segment had become much more structured and we introduced the Hot & Heavy tip. We are now on segment #352 and running fairly smoothly. Why are we strolling down memory lane? Because the segment's beginning, its journey since then, and its current status can be a great example for the marriage lifecycle as well.

#351: With most things in life, there comes a point where things either begin to get easier or conversely, things are only going to get worse from that point forward. In either case, you'll likely hear the phrase, “It's all downhill from here.” Two questions come to mind: When do you reach that point in your marriage, and at that point does marriage get easier or more difficult?

#350: We give unsolicited marriage advice every week on this show but that's different than unsolicited advice given directly to a spouse or a couple. So the question becomes, when is it appropriate to offer unsolicited marriage advice, to whom should you offer it, and what should you do if they reject your offer to help? We discuss all three on this segment.

#349: Who doesn't love enjoying a great meal. Food fuels the body, soul, and mind and affords us the opportunity to build great relationships. If all you do is eat together, you'll feed your bodies but probably not much more benefit than that. But if you interact with each other you will fuel your relationships and strengthen your family which brings us to our marriage tip, are you feeding or fueling your marriage.

#348: “You don't know my marriage, so how can you say my marriage can be fixed?” More often than not a marriage can be fixed, especially if both couples are willing to put in the work to make it work, but also even if only one starts the process. To that extent, there is a very simply formula to follow once you commit to save the marriage. We discuss the gist of how to do just that.

#347: In 2016 while Manager of the Chicago Cubs, Joe Maddon coined the phrase, “Try Not to Suck.” What was his point? Maddon explained, "Take it with a light heart...I want them to just go out there and play like they're in Little League. Like a bunch of kids having a good time. Don't worry about making mistakes.” In this segment we apply a paraphrase of this explanation to creating a championship marriage.