The Horrorists

Special note I did what I could with the audio, there are a few bits where it's weird. This is what happens when I let my large sons record without me. Walter returns with special fill-in host Schuyler with a double feature of films that offer the polar opposites of ambiguity. First the boys delve into the unpleasant but fascinating world of 2011's The Skin I Live In. Walter is oblivious, Schuyler has an intervention coming up, and they're reminded of a modern classic of direct-to-DVD cinema. Then your hosts try to keep it together as they discuss 2024's The Watchers and wonder when a movie explains too much. Does the Shyamalan apple fall far from the tree and is it even a good tree to begin with? What episode of Doctor Who still sends Walter into a rage? All that, plus some recent movie recommendations and elaborate murder plots. The movie that Walter was trying to remember is 2019's The Hole in the Ground.

Kevin and Walter get to cleaning as they talk about the Argentine film When Evil Lurks. Kevin fears possession and Walter is a parent, so this one wreaks havoc. The movie may shock and scare, but is it worth your time? Kevin's goat rankings certainly are. Walter is too snooty to discuss Spy x Family Code: White, but makes some time for Suitable Flesh. Plus, the first ever reader mail gets nowhere near the attention it deserves.

Kevin and Walter get dragged out of bed to discuss the low budget sensation of 2007, Paranormal Activity. This movie spooked the boys when it first came out but does it still have teeth today? Is Micah the worst because he is a day trader, or does it run deeper than that? Does the demon just want to see them toes? After the hosts roast an ancient demon and discuss which member of the friend group they would sacrifice, Kevin talks about some recent movies including his thoughts on Dune: Part 2. Walter had fun with X-Men ‘97 and thinks it's important that everyone knows Cyclops has always been cool, actually.

Kevin and Walter take a break from their road trip murder spree to review Where the Devil Roams. Do the boys appreciate independent filmmaking enough to overlook some flaws? Which one of the hosts do you think is a My Chemical Romance fan? But which one loves Ladyhawke? After all of that horror nonsense is out of the way, Love is Blind gets its due with piping hot takes. Then, watch out for some spoiler talk for Dune: Part 2 and the book series on which it is based. Plus, Kevin talks about Neuromancer while Walter remembers how William Gibson has wronged him in the past.

Kevin and Walter get refracted with special guest Schuyler to discuss the 2018 kind of Netflix film Annihilation. After a brief tour through the director's career, the boys discuss the highs and lows of this sci-fi thriller. Which monster is the scariest? What does the ending mean? And can you still nitpick no one wearing gloves while accepting the premise of the movie? Then, Kevin solves True Detective and pneumonia provides Walter with the perfect conditions to watch Killers of the Flower Moon. Your hosts discuss books and the best way to read them and the disappointment of picking up stories you skipped in your childhood.

Kevin and Walter crawl out of their rotten walls to discuss 2020's Relic. This somber movie is a meditation on the inevitability of aging and the burden placed on three generations of women. But first the boys talk a lot about masturbation. Plus, the horrors of home ownership, Kevin is a Wonka boy, and the great debate of Hamilton vs. Baby Shark. Your hosts have been busy without much time to watch anything else, but there is some spoiler free talk of The Boy and the Heron and Eli Roth's Thanksgiving.

How strong can Chucky be, really? Kevin and Walter get to the bottom of it while watching 1988's Child's Play. The boys have a lot of critiques for the killer doll's methods and wonder if he can strangle with those stubby little fingers. Plus, how far will their integrity last when those ad dollars start rolling in? Walter watched Oppenheimer and The Killer and Kevin revisited Ghost in the Shell. Then, book club is back in session as Cormac McCarthy's Blood Meridian gets assessed and your hosts reminisce about the books they liked in high school.

This episode was recorded in 2015 before either of us had any audio equipment, or how to edit. I did what I could to improve the audio, but this is about the limit of how much I can polish this one up. Hope you enjoy this from the vault episode and we will be back next week with our episode covering Relic!

The boys are back for the spookiest day of the year to chat away about Speak No Evil. Find out just how much guff your hosts are willing to take and the best ways to lie to your kid for everyone's safety. Kevin's hatred of the Dutch runs deep, Walter tests the bounds of human experience, and they both reminisce about the shady houses they've lived in. There is some rapid fire discussion of what's been watched this season, including talk of recent releases The Exorcist: Believer  and Brooklyn 45. Plus, is The Purge any good? Listen and find out, but no.

Kevin and Walter wonder if anyone still needs to be told to watch A Nightmare on Elm Street. Does this franchise spawning classic still hold up or are some outdated effects going to pull the hosts out of dreamland? The innate thermostat sense of dads, Freddy Krueger's nipple, and men who wear too many rings are all the hot topics that get covered this week. Then, don't worry, the new season of Love is Blind gets its due. Walter makes up for lost time with a bevy of horror movie recommendations including recents streamers No One Will Save You and Totally Killer. Kevin does a David Fincher double feature and tops it off with a skit. Have you been drinking?

Walter bounces back from Covid to talk to Kevin about Talk to Me. This questionably recent horror sensation gets the boys discussing bad decisions that they buy into, the worst kind of theater goers, and whether heroin is worth it (No, the answer is no). Let us know if Kevin does a good Australian accent. And yes, Kevin does nail the Australian accent. It's the spookiest time of the year and Kevin is drowning in cinema choices while Walter struggles to find the right horror movie to show his small children. Some chat about The Nun II and It Lives Inside ensues.

Follow your hosts into the woods as they break into 2007's Hansel & Gretel and decide if it should be cast into the oven. The boys discuss the proper way to deal with roadkill, the coolest coyotes, and the most humane and awesome way to euthanize a chicken. It's not all dead animal talk though, as Walter reveals his distaste for an American dinner time staple and Kevin balks at the prospect of sweets for breakfast.  Some more chatter about Barbie follows, now that Walter has seen it and then the boys start to gear up for the spookiest time of the year.

Your deadbeat podcast dads are back to discuss 2021's Candyman. Candyman has no time to nap in this one as the scares and the social commentary get ratcheted up. The most horrific thing of all is the body horror that tarnishes the lead's beautiful face. Kevin and Walter curse the tall and handsome, discuss non-threatening prosthetics, and what a Candyman movie at the turn of the millennium would have looked like. Walter got around to watching the new Indiana Jones and gets all fancy when he drops some thoughts on Wuthering Heights. Kevin is looking to corner the leech market and throws a real curveball for his next pick. 

The boys try to figure out what blood is for if not for shedding with 1992's Candyman. Does this movie hold up thirty years after it came out and how does Candyman work, exactly? Walter questions Candyman's child rearing, Kevin has no trouble believing that Walter's wife could be a murderer, and it is obvious that Ted Raimi is not a handsome teen. Walter watched TMNT: Mutant Mayhem and Kevin wonders if he should ditch his computer. Then, Walter tests the bonds of their friendship with his next pick…

Kevin and Walter finally escape from the pit they've been held in to review 2002's Red Dragon and bring a close to the Hannibal Lecter trilogy. The boys ponder why people find these killers charming, why creeps direct X-Men movies, and whether their wives' hair colors will keep them alive. Walter is too into a tiger and Kevin knows who in this world holds no fear. Prayers for Biscuit. Kevin has been to the cinema with some thoughts on Barbie, Oppenheimer, and the new Mission Impossible. Walter talks about The Blackening and then the hosts discuss a bunch of shitty doctors.

Is 2001's Hannibal a satisfying feast or can the boys not stomach this ten years later sequel? Kevin and Walter have a lot of thoughts, but first they have to break down Ridley Scott's career and Harriet Tubman's vitamin side business. The resurgence of tapes, the history of poppers, and Hannibal's foot fetish all get covered. Years of customer service will keep the hosts alive this time. Kevin winces at the Sound of Freedom and delivers his thoughts on the new Indiana Jones movie, all while fundamentally misunderstanding what Walter's life is like these days.

Your hosts throw around more than ideas as they discuss 1991's The Silence of the Lambs. Has the movie been surpassed by imitators in the 30+ years since its release? Find out what scene terrifies Walter and how Kevin would overcome it, which killer is more quotable, and the red flags to look out for in therapy. Then the boys talk about 2022's Vengeance and the state of modern music. Plus, hear the story that improbably led to Kevin and Walter almost being brothers-in-law.

Kevin and Walter overcome obstacles to return and discuss the 1988 animated film Demon City Shinjuku. Kevin fears that Walter's historic distaste for anime will drag the whole thing down, but they share some common ground while discussing incredible lighting, character design, and animation. Will some tired tropes ruin their experience? Plus, some wild digressions about action movies and the evolving physiques of pro wrestlers lead the boys to dredge up an old argument. Then, Walter watched a bunch of movies with some spoiler light talk of John Wick: Chapter 4. Kevin can't remember why he chose some particular media and delves into some stories about claustrophobia. Walter still feels bad about picking Willy's Wonderland.

Kevin here, I'm sick with Covid, Walter is traveling, and I didn't want to have noting uploaded this week so I dug around and found an old episode I enjoyed. This episode was originally recorded in 2015 and we had to share 1 mic between the two of us. Sorry for the scuffed audio. The boys cover the 1981 horror comedy classic American Werewolf in London. In this episode you'll find out their *shocking* views on circumcision, get asked important questions about porno theaters, and learn some rizz. Enjoy this classic episode from 2015!

Get ready to squirm as Kevin and Walter discuss this year's Evil Dead Rise. The boys stay oddly on topic today as they discuss whether this movie lives up to the cult legacy of its predecessors. Walter is ready to give up and Kevin loves his mom, but wouldn't hesitate to put her down. The pick for the best character might surprise you, but the pick for the worst probably won't. Kevin chats a little bit about The Covenant and the boys talk about some books that they have been reading. Then Kevin smashes Walter's hopes and dreams with his next pick…

The latest chapter of the Scream series gets cut up by the boys this week. Find out if there are enough tweaks to the formula for this one to stand on its own two feet. Walter is proud of himself for making some predictions, Kevin finds out that these movies aren't that niche, and both of them fall in love with a character. Some even more recent releases get discussed, including Renfield, Sisu, and Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 3.

The boys revisit the Cronenberg house with this year's Infinity Pool. There's lots of heady discussion on clones, doubles, and doppelgangers and the logistics of making love to yourself. Kevin has better uses for the movie's technology, Walter wants to protect his neck, and both of them could use a vacation. The hosts are pretty confident they could survive this one, unless a certain character offers them up some sausages. Not much new horror talk, but there is some chatter about South Korea's classic Vengeance trilogy and about just how rad Bloodsport is.

On this week's episode, David Cronenberg's latest with 2022's Crimes of the Future. The boys are pretty sure they enjoyed this movie and are positive that they hate Funko Pops. While discussing this grimy, gory film, the boys touch on changing attitudes in horror, analyze a certain famous pundit to death, and theorize what Christmas looks like in the Cronenberg home. Kevin gives his impressions of The Pope's Exorcist and then it's what you all came for: thoughts on the Love is Blind finale.

Apologies for Walter's bad audio. He had the wrong audio device set as default since he had to move his recording setup. I'll scream at him to fix it before we record next time. Walter returns to the podcast to discuss 1975's giallo classic Deep Red. The boys get right back into the swing of things, discussing the two cuts of the movie, whether or not the mystery holds up in the modern era, and the best defense against an accusation of a small penis. Flesh Walter talks about Robo Walter's opinion of Seoul Station and Kevin dishes on some recent releases. Don't worry folks, there's still plenty of time to discuss season 4 of Love is Blind.

This week I have a special guest on the pod, Lexie host of Cool Normal Girl to talk about girl horror instant classics Pearl and X as well as the niche little podcast community we are a part of. I had a lot of fun talking to her about these movies, and you get to learn about how unhinged I used to be as a teenage boy. Finally we get some A24 movies I didn't bitch about the whole time.

The boys are back, but something isn't quite right with Walter. Kevin returns to cover the 2016 movie Seoul Station and this might be the driest least funny episode to date, but I dare you to try to monologue and be funny. Kevin announces the guest host that will make her appearance in a week, and announces that Pearl and X are going to be the next movies that get covered on the podcast.

Kevin and Walter usher in the new year with another stop motion feature that's too creepy for kids when they discuss Wendell & Wild. The boys agree on some comedy for once and reveal hidden secrets from behind the hospitality desk. Private prisons may be the real villain, but Kevin is still keeping his eye on that little goat. Then the boys look back on 2022 and discuss some of their favorite movies of the year. One movie gets gushed about a whole lot while another sparks a conversation about military propaganda. It all gets wrapped up with some important podcast news.

Christmas arrives a little late this year, but there is plenty of good cheer to go around when Kevin and Walter discuss the 1974 proto-slasher Black Christmas. This genre bending classic often gets overlooked compared to Halloween and the boys dig in to what might hold it back. There are plenty of things in the movie that still feel relevant almost fifty years later, but not locking your doors just feels weird. Then our hosts find time to discuss holiday traditions including what movies to watch on the big day and what holiday music they can't stand before slipping in some love for The Thing while they're at it. Plus, learn the secret origin of how the boys first met.

Irregular release schedules cut both ways when the boys drop another episode in time for the holidays. This time, Walter becomes a man filled with regret when he picks the 2007 French extreme film Inside. The movie is filled with brutal violence, but does it still shock 15 years later? Is pregnancy the scariest thing of all? Way too much smoking around a pregnant woman in this movie. After too much talk about how new technology bothers them, Kevin and Walter delve deep into the dangerous French lifestyle, whether poor character decisions can be justified, and how medical advice has aged terribly. Plus, the unexpected ire Kevin received while working in radio.

Snow and blood abound as Kevin and Walter discuss the modern Swedish classic Let the RIght One In. All kids are murderous creeps, it turns out. Regrettable hairstyles, what shoes demand ridicule or respect, and when is it ethical to feed a vampire are all covered. The American remake and the original novel are touched on, but the boys fail to bring up the TV show airing right now. Fingers on the pulse, these two. Kevin can't resist taking some more shots at Breaking Bad and the boys talk about movies that made them realize movies could be bad.

The boys are late to Thanksgiving when they watch 1987's Blood Rage. Did Walter ruin Kevin's holiday with this pick? Lots of 80's fashion and horniness in this one. There's plenty of digression to talk about the spectrum of enjoyable horror, recent meltdowns from certain celebrities, and sorting through the various Elektras. In the wrap up, Kevin has some wrong things to say about Breaking Bad, then leads us back to his anime corner to discuss Chainsaw Man. Walter saw Bones and All and not much else

A quick note from Kevin. A bit of a late upload for this episode, but I had to battle the demons at Adobe to keep my student pricing. Kevin and Walter run for their lives from 2004's Dawn of the Dead! Kevin had a good time, but is Walter too much of a grump to enjoy the movie? Musings on fast zombies, the allure of the apocalypse, and the careers of Zack Snyder and James Gunn are abound. Listen for some half-baked survival plans and the ghost Walter fears most. Then, at long last, the boys delve deep into the most recent season of Love is Blind. The podcast is pivoting, folks.

The boys peer into the depths of Walter's psyche as they discuss Tales from the Crypt: Bordello of Blood. Does lightning strike twice or is this one better left in the past? Your hosts bemoan 90's fashion and its imminent comeback, reminisce about the most disgusting candy of their childhood, and determine who the target market for this movie must have been. Plus: Kevin gives his thoughts on Terrifier 2 and its predecessor, Walter looks better than he sounds, and Kevin gets along with everyone's parents.

Kevin and Walter discuss the first spin-off film of Tales from the Crypt with 1995's Demon Knight. This may be the perfect Walter movie, but will Kevin enjoy it too? The boys reminisce about the inappropriate content they got away with watching when they were kids as they digress wildly. There's some more in depth, and slightly spoiler filled, talk on Barbarian plus some discussion of the new Hellraiser and a few other odds and ends as the spooky season comes to a close. Walter reports back on his Lance Henriksen vs. Sasquatch movie fest and Kevin sets out on his own ill-advised journey.

This episode is a long one, folks. Kevin and Walter are joined by returning guest Schuyler to discuss Halloween Ends and determine if it is a fitting finale to this trilogy and series as a whole. The boys pick the movie apart and touch on its place in the greater Halloween saga. Kevin reveals a shocking admission about his media literacy. Lance Henriksen keeps coming up, prompting Walter to make a bold promise. A psychological game of cat-and-mouse unfolds between the hosts over the presence of a flashlight. After talking about the movie for nearly the length of its runtime, there is some rapid fire chat about what spooky horror and video games the guys have been enjoying in this special time of year. Tell us your favorite creepy picks @TheHorrorists. For the link to the horror games Kevin talks about click here.

The spookiest time of year continues as Kevin and Walter discuss the 2011 remake of Fright Night! Is it better than the original? Is Charley bearable this time? The boys discuss vampire lore and whether or not they are sexy, Kevin tries to incept Walter with another classic 80's vampire pick, and the mystery of what is just out of camera frame in Walter's home grows ever deeper. Then, Walter comes to the lukewarm defense of a movie that Kevin has been railing against for weeks. Will their friendship survive? Yeah, they're fine.

This week the boys discuss the 1985 cult classic Fright Night! Fun characters, surprising special effects, and the best cinematic mom are some highlights from this horror comedy, but does a certain skeevy subplot hold the whole thing back? Also, is everyone in this movie too good to be around Charley? Stay tuned for some ramblings about Halloween candy and the movies we've been watching, including some light new horror talk of Smile and Werewolf by Night. Kevin reveals his soft spot for a certain horror film from 2007 and Walter tries desperately to not cough on mic. It's not COVID.

Since I couldn't find the old version of Wolves I looked around and found an older recording of Halloween. It's a short episode so you can compare and contrast it with our more modern recording.

Kevin and Walter are back to discuss the 1997 Japanese psychological thriller/horror film Cure. They peel back the layers of the movie's meanings as well as Japanese pop culture. Kevin remembers his past as a big weeb and Walter really lays into Death Note. Will the boys find their way back to the topic of the film? Are they cut out to be homicide detectives? It's the spookiest month of the year and the boys are doing some extracurricular movie watching and ramble about a few of their recent picks. If you're interested in the challenge mentioned at the end of the episode, look up The 2022 Scarecrow Psychotronic Challenge.

We've all had enough slow-paced mysteries and enough George C. Scott. The boys are back to talk about 1986 schlock classic Chopping Mall. Can this campy romp live up to the awesome poster/video cover? Was the 80's just a hornier time and is Walter a prude? Lots of digressions in this one. Stick around for some new horror chat about Pearl. Then the boys enter the Thunderdome when they politely disagree about The Invitation.

The boys accidentally continue their retrospective on the horror career of George C. Scott with 1980's The Changeling. Find out if they think this haunted house classic is worth a watch in the modern day. Stay tuned to the end for a fascinating George C. Scott fact that will definitely be worth the wait! There's also some spoiler free chatter about recent releases Barbarian and Beast. The season of horror releases is upon us!

The Exorcist trilogy is capped off by the 1990 mystery-horror The Exorcist III. Did Kevin waste everyone's time with another third installment, or do we have a hidden gem on our hands? The boys each watched a different cut and get to the bottom of whether or not this movie works. One thing they can agree on: Brad Dourif is fantastic. Plus, a long thought dead segment returns from the grave. This is the last week of Kevin having full goblin mode audio.

Quick note from Kevin: Sorry for the poor audio quality. I broke down my pc and recording stuff thinking I was moving to a different city for work. Turns out I didn't have to move, and we should be back to our regular mid quality audio in after Exorcist 3. Kevin and Walter do everything they can to not talk about Willy's Wonderland. When they do get around to it, they break down what works and what doesn't work about this 2021 Nicolas Cage vehicle. They talk a lot more about the latter.

Kevin and Walter take a look at the 1977 sequel The Exorcist II: The Heretic. Is this really one of the worst movies ever made or is it due for a reassessment? Kevin tries to drive Walter mad with modern day slang throughout and the boys discuss the worst point for their wives to walk in on the movie. If you have any leads on where we can pick up that awesome locust costume, let us know. Then the boys discuss the new Alex Garland feature Men. The discussion is light on spoilers as we try to unravel the message and style of this recent release.

What better follow up could there be to The Exorcist than the largely forgotten animated kids movie ParaNorman? This movie is ahead of its time in a few ways, but is it a cult classic waiting in the wings? Walter wrote this blurb, so the answer is yes. Then the boys talk about some fresh horror with spoiler filled talk of the Predator prequel Prey, and spoiler light talk of Jordan Peele's new offering, Nope. Would it be an episode of The Horrorists if Kevin didn't find some time to put down A24 and Marvel?

Kevin and Walter are back to talk about the 1973 classic The Exorcist with the extended director's cut. After an argument about rock, paper, scissors etiquette the boys get right into. Can Kevin endure the horror trope that scares him the most? Does Walter have a deep seeded fear of stairs? Will Kevin trick Walter into committing to another trilogy under the pretense that the third one is worth watching? Then, Walter talks about some movies that everyone else saw months ago, so get ready for some ramblings on The Matrix: Resurrections and The Batman!

Apologizes for the late upload. Walter has been taking care of his sick wife and kid, and Kevin has been furiously applying for jobs so we didn't have a chance to record this week, but that doesn't mean they didn't have something for you to listen to. The boys dip into the Vault of Lost Episodes (tm) to get a previously unreleased episode covering Don't Breathe. Warning there will be some references to earlier episodes at the start, but the boys move out of in joke territory quickly. Enjoy.

Kevin and Walter are back to talk about the current meme movie of the moment, Morbius. After a long break in recording they also are back to cover Scream (2022) and give a loose ranking of the Scream franchise. Next week we'll be covering The Exorcist so make sure to watch the movie so you can enjoy the conversation.

We couldn't put it off any longer. We finally watched Don't Breathe 2 and couldn't help but wonder who asked for this movie?

We get around to talking to the Oscar darling Nightmare Alley.

Sorry for the long break, but we are back! This week we check out the classic Japanese horror film Kairo.