The Suzanne Venker Show

Do you want to increase your kids' chances of marital success? If so, this is the episode for you! Ana Samuel, a research scholar at the Witherspoon Institute in Princeton, NJ, joins Suzanne to discuss the unfortunate 2023 Pew finding that most parents today "do not consider it important” whether or not their kids marry and have children.    https://www.pewresearch.org/social-trends/2023/01/24/parenting-in-america-today/   https://ifstudies.org/blog/why-we-are-doing-all-we-can-to-increase-our-kids-chances-of-marital-success   https://www.wsj.com/arts-culture/books/three-books-on-what-being-a-parent-really-means-1a83bb23

Suzanne answers an email about whether or not a family, after finally getting settled in the Midwests, should move to a big city for a higher paying job.

Suzanne reads several letters from women who've been shamed for prioritizing marriage and motherhood over career and juxtaposes this message with the reality of Barbara Walters' life, who did just that. https://www.washingtonpost.com/books/2024/04/22/susan-page-rulebreaker-barbara-walters/

Suzanne talks about her follow-up conversation with Alex Clark of The Spillover and the shocking reality women experience in becoming new mothers. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1zuLwSOLjZs&list=PLxx4kcMvHrwLrizrjHljVIsFqv7iLkbQa&index=4

Is eight hours per week of work away from my two children too much? How do my husband and I maintain intimacy? Our relationship has taken a hit since I became a breastfeeding/co-sleeping mother.

The culture insists men and women would be happier if they pretended they're interchangeable and moved through life accordingly.  But study after study after study after study proves otherwise. LINKS:https://news.illinois.edu/view/6367/542579https://www.pewresearch.org/short-reads/2017/09/20/americans-see-men-as-the-financial-providers-even-as-womens-contributions-grow/https://slate.com/news-and-politics/2006/03/why-feminist-wives-are-unhappy.htmlhttps://thelibertarianrepublic.com/nyt-traditional-gender-roles-may-mean-better-marriages/

Suzanne responds to folks who suggested a new way to keep The Suzanne Venker Show going...

Suzanne makes an announcement about The Suzanne Venker Show and discusses her new book, How to Build a Better Life: A New Roadmap for Women Who Want to Prioritize Love & Family, which is now on sale at Amazon. LINK: https://www.suzannevenker.com/books/how-to-build-a-better-life/

Why should women (or men, for that matter) feel obligated to "change the world" when everyday life can be just as much, if not more, fulfilling? What if staying focused on life in your own backyard brings more joy and satisfaction than trying to "disrupt the status quo"? In this episode, Suzanne explains why women shouldn't feel pressure to live a big life when a smaller one is just as noble and gratifying.  https://www.artofmanliness.com/character/advice/podcast-962-the-case-for-minding-your-own-business/ https://www.nytimes.com/2019/04/15/opinion/cultural-revolution-meritocracy.html

Are you a single woman (or the parent of a single woman) who wants to take her foot off the gas pedal and settle down with a husband and kids? Are you a married mother who wants to quit her job and stay home with the littles, but your family and friends—even your own husband!—want you to continue to work full-time?  If so, you will NOT want to miss this episode! Suzanne has written a book just for you. It's called How to Build a Better Life: A New Roadmap for Women Who Want to Prioritize Love and Family, and you'll hear all about it in this episode. https://www.suzannevenker.com/books/how-to-build-a-better-life/

Dating in America has become an absolute mess. Men and women have no compass for how to proceed and no idea what the roles and the rules are anymore. In this episode, Suzanne lists 7 dating rules for marriage-minded women since they have the power to get to what they ultimately want: marriage.

Don't marry the first person you fall in love with. The more relationship experience you have before getting married, the better. That way you'll really “know” yourself when you say, ‘I do.' For decades this has been the relationship narrative passed on to the young and unattached. But my experience as a relationship coach suggests the opposite is true. So does the data. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LQ6WXvBvwWE https://themattwalshblog.wordpress.com/2013/09/05/heres-some-honest-dating-advice/comment-page-1/

Overachieving is defined as the unrelenting drive for high performance, and women are drowning in this phenomenon. Suzanne reads from an article in the Wall Street Journal that explains how overachieving is a form of self-protection that is harmful to our physical and mental health and outlines three strategies to help women stop overachieving.  LINK: https://www.wsj.com/health/wellness/for-happiness-in-the-new-year-stop-overdoing-everything-6b9a4b99 MARRIAGE OR RELATIONSHIP TROUBLES? Sign up here for coaching with Suzanne: https://www.suzannevenker.com/coaching/

Boomers are out enjoying retirement, and some millennials are feeling abandoned by their parents who are too busy to help raise their kids. Suzanne offers her take on this topic. MARRIAGE OR RELATIONSHIP TROUBLES? Sign up here for coaching with Suzanne: https://www.suzannevenker.com/coaching/

Suzanne discusses the lies women have been fed and unearths the hard truths they need to know in order to help them construct happier lives. IN THIS EPISODE: What happens to women around the age of 30 Why marriage is more important than career Why women are not emboldened by providing but men are LINK: https://www.foxnews.com/media/woman-30s-cries-describing-finally-wanting-kids-after-swearing-off-marriage-betrayed-feminism MARRIAGE OR RELATIONSHIP TROUBLES? Sign up here for coaching with Suzanne: https://www.suzannevenker.com/coaching/

Merry Xmas, Everyone! I'm working on lots of things for the new year and may need to skip a week or two. But I'll be back with a bang!

Dr. Scott Gordon is a relationship coach and author affiliated with the Dad Starting Over organization. He focuses on masculine polarity and maintaining a balance of the lover/provider roles in marriage. He also specializes in repairing dead or dull bedrooms. Today he and I talk about raising countercultural kids so they can become independent minded, self-sustaining adults. We discuss: Leading by example Raising boys and girls differently How to avoid being helicopter parents How to create a family that functions as a team How to slow down MARRIAGE OR RELATIONSHIP TROUBLES? Sign up here for coaching with Suzanne: https://www.suzannevenker.com/coaching/

Suzanne reads emails from new mothers who feel like they're not doing enough by being at home with their babies. MARRIAGE OR RELATIONSHIP TROUBLES? Sign up here for coaching with Suzanne: https://www.suzannevenker.com/coaching/

Suzanne talks with family law attorney Bernadette Barbee about financial infidelity in marriage and what money conflicts in marriage are really about.They both then describe what financial FIDELITY looks like in a strong marriage.IN THIS EPISODE: the damage of having "his" and "her" accounts "girl math" vs. real math hiding money vs. transparency out-of-control spending MARRIAGE OR RELATIONSHIP TROUBLES? Sign up here for coaching with Suzanne: https://www.suzannevenker.com/coaching/

Babies need constant nurturing in the early years. They are completely helpless and utterly dependent on their mothers—and not just to feed them and change their diapers. So many people think this is all that goes on during this stage, and they could not be more wrong.  Suzanne takes listeners on a journey to see what's really going on behind the scenes when Mom is home with her baby.

Have you (or has someone you know) had to convince your husband to live on less so you can stay home with the baby? If so, you're in good company. LINKS: https://www.facebook.com/groups/2354917591429890https://www.suzannevenker.com/coaching/

More and more women are choosing to have children and remain single. When these women are asked why, most say it's not that they don't want to get married but that there are no longer any marriageable men from which to choose.  The so-called "rise" of women and lack of marriageable (read: gainfully employed) men is the #1 reason marriage in America has tanked. In this week's episode, Suzanne discusses 4 things Americans MUST begin to do if we ever expect to turn this mess around. Links: https://www.suzannevenker.com/the-war-on-men-ebook/ https://www.npr.org/2023/10/22/1207322878/single-parent-married-good-for-children-inequality https://www.foxnews.com/media/economist-makes-data-driven-case-stable-two-parent-households-clear-kids-benefit.amp

Is it possible to combine raising a family with the pursuit of a career? Does it have to be all or nothing? Suzanne reads an email from a woman who wants to know how to stay home with her baby but also be able to work part time and utilize her creative energy professionally.

Suzanne explains about some goings-on behind the scenes that are causing a bit of a gap in production.

Suzanne reads a letter from one of her coaching clients.

Suzanne reads a letter from a woman whose parents don't support her staying home with her babies and offers tips on how to live on less for those who are trying to save more money or move from two incomes to one.

Q&A: Suzanne reads listener emails and answers questions

Suzanne goes into greater detail to debunk the arguments Ellen Lamont made in the debate Suzanne did with her several weeks ago. https://munkdebates.com/podcasts/traditional-gender-role-in-marriage/ https://www.pewresearch.org/social-trends/2013/05/29/breadwinner-moms/ https://ifstudies.org/blog/husbands-with-much-higher-incomes-than-their-wives-have-a-lower-chance-of-divorce-https://www.npr.org/2015/02/08/384695833/what-happens-when-wives-earn-more-than-husbands https://www.washington.edu/news/2013/01/29/more-sex-for-married-couples-with-traditional-divisions-of-housework/ https://blogs.scientificamerican.com/voices/countries-with-less-gender-equity-have-more-women-in-stem-huh/

Suzanne reads a letter from one of her listeners.

Suzanne discusses 9 topics couples should address before they get engaged. They are: 1. View of marriage as an institution 2. View on God/religion 3. Geography 4. Work/family plan 5. Money 6. Willingness to address conflict 7. Ability to set boundaries 8. Relationship history 9. Vacations

Suzanne highlights a new survey that shows smartphones are undermining marriages and suggests ways in which couples can keep this from being their fate. https://ifstudies.org/ifs-admin/resources/research/final-2ifstechmarriageresearchbrief.pdf

Suzanne talks with Liz Durham of Being Different about the position employers are in when it comes to investing in young women who have not had children yet, and the likelihood that they will leave once that happens.

"My soon-to-be-husband is a software engineer and works from home. I can forsee potential challenges. What are your thoughts on both spouses working from home together?" "I have a one-year-old and a two-year-old, and they are going to daycare two days a week from 7 to 4. Home with mom or dad the rest of the days. We have no family or friends to help. Can this arrangement flourish for healthy marriage and children?" "Help! I want to stay home with her children, but my husband doesn't agree." "What are your thoughts about the cry it out method?" "Is it possible for some men to have a lower sex drive than women? My husband rarely wants sex."

Suzanne is back and talks about the response to her recent interview and video on daycare—and shares the politically incorrect data on this subject that she unearthed twenty years ago when she wrote her first book. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iDPFu9-SqFk https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qhJFfU2OxPg

I'll be back soon.

Suzanne is taking the month of July off and will be back in August.

If you're struggling with modern motherhood, you do not want to miss this episode. I brought back Liz Durham (host of the podcast Being Different), who has transitioned from being a full-time working mom to a full-time SAHM. She and I offer a countercultural guide for younger women who've been raised at a time in which motherhood has been sidelined or even rejected altogether. We discuss (among other things): How dumping the 50-50 mindset will make the experience lighter. How it takes a family, not a "village," to raise healthy kids. That motherhood isn't about you. The significance of the first three years How to embrace the discomfort and the unknown How to deal with isolation Why daycare can't provide discipline

Money remains the #1 cause of marital conflict and divorce. But money conflict is never about money itself. It's about power and control vs. trust, and often it's about mismatched values. In this episode, Suzanne discusses three major money mistakes modern couples make and the conversations married couples need to have about money if they want a less roommate-like and more intimate relationship with their spouse.

In this episode, Suzanne offers six powerful ways to divorce proof your marriage. They include: Take divorce off the table. Lower your expectations. Dump the concept of equality. Learn each other's love language. Keep dating. Don't let resentment settle in.

How can couples deal with the changing sexual dynamic that's happening all over the Western world as we speak? Suzanne is joined by former coaching client, Lauren Taylor, to discuss this very timely and culturally charged subject. IN THIS EPISODE: Lauren's story The share of women out-earning their husbands has tripled over the last 50 years, from 5% to 16% (Pew Research Center) Married women think about breadwinning differently than the way married men do How to manage the money How sex is affected Parents' concern that their daughters are outperforming their boyfriends Solutions for those in a role reversal, or how to make the relationship more balanced

There's not a married couple on the planet who doesn't know that life gets in the way of having an ideal sex life. Many events that occur are out of our control and often derail our desire. Babies come along. Family members die. Careers shift or stall or in some cases become too all-consuming to where couples rarely see each other. But if you and your spouse both want a better sex life, you can absolutely have it. IN THIS EPISODE: The things that turn men on and off The things that turn women on and off The role of resentment in your sex life

Have economic and social obstacles become deterrents to having children? According to a recent article in the WSJ, yes. And there are three reasons.

Suzanne explains why multitasking undermines our relationships and offers tips for developing our monotasking muscles.

Suzanne's husband Bill joins her to talk about their respective backgrounds as it pertains to money and what they believe is mandatory for having a healthy marital relationship with money.

Suzanne brings relationship coach Andre Paradis back on the show to help couples better understand sexual dynamics as they are designed to be, versus the role reversal couples are contending with today. Men are made to be providers and protectors and are not cut out for emotional warfare with women. Thus, when women behave in a way that feels combative, men often back down. But this is the wrong response.

Suzanne brings relationship coach Andre Paradis back on the show to help couples better understand sexual dynamics as they are designed to be, versus the role reversal couples are contending with today. Men are made to be providers and protectors and are not cut out for emotional warfare with women. Thus, when women behave in a way that feels combative, men often back down. But this is the wrong response.

Suzanne answers questions from listeners, email subscribers, and even former coaching clients about their biggest relationship concerns.

Suzanne addresses the greatest problem with the younger generation's lack of success with love and money. IN THIS EPISODE: the real reason millennials are depressed and broke why millennials and GenZers are mapping out their lives backward why avoidance is toxic for your relationship ARTICLE REFERENCED: https://www.wsj.com/articles/young-people-avoid-facing-their-finances-more-than-ever-e853910e

Suzanne explains why social media and FOMO (fear of missing out) is so harmful and offers tips on how to deal with this new world we live in.

Suzanne laments the recent poll which shows that family and religion (and other classic values) have receded in importance to Americans, while the one value that has risen in importance is money. https://www.wsj.com/articles/americans-pull-back-from-values-that-once-defined-u-s-wsj-norc-poll-finds-df8534cd

Suzanne reads a letter from a married millennial mom who has chosen to stay home with her children despite living in a high cost of living area and despite having a Ph.D. from Harvard.