Footprints On Our Hearts

In the final episode of this season, I talk to Sheri Johnson about how she found joy in life after loss. Sheri suffered three miscarriages and infertility before deciding not to undergo further fertility treatment. She now helps others find healing and joy after pregnancy loss. In the interview, we talk about: Sheri's first miscarriage and delivering her baby on the toilet (13:37) Struggling to get pregnant again, miscarrying and a suspect ectopic pregnancy (19:42) Hearing a heartbeat for the first time, only to then miscarry a third child (23:38) Exploring spiritual healing to come to terms with her grief (35:54) Discussing donor conception and deciding not to continue with fertility treatment (39:50) Accepting life without kids and finding healing and joy after loss (45:52) Self-love and the power of meditation (57:15) You can connect with Sheri on Instagram @miscarriageloveandloss or join her Facebook group at Miscarriage Love and Loss. She has a free roadmap – From Grief to Joy After a Miscarriage – which you can download at sherijohnson.ca/roadmap. I'm taking a break from the podcast, so this will be the final episode for a while. If you're a new listener, please do check out the backlist – there are 60 episodes to listen to, covering a range of experiences. This is the club that none of us wanted to join, but I hope listening to other people's stories helps you on your journey through grief. Thanks to Izzy Syme for editing and producing the show. If you enjoy the podcast, please leave a rating or review on your podcast app.

In episode 59 of Footprints on our Hearts, I chat to Rachael and Hannah about their experience of baby loss and pregnancy after loss. Rachael is Hannah’s mother and grandmother to Grace who died shortly after she was born in 2018. In the interview we talk about: Hannah’s pregnancy with Grace and going into premature labour when she was 21 weeks pregnant (5:44) Having Grace whisked away and not being told that she had been born alive (15:24) Hannah’s experience of grief and how Rachael felt trying to support her daughter through her dark days (23:32) Receiving support from Tommy’s following Grace’s death and when pregnant with her son, Jude (30:39) How Rachael felt when she found out Hannah was pregnant again (35:14) Hannah’s experience of pregnancy after loss and going into premature labour for the second time (38:39) Jude’s birth, NICU journey and how nearly losing him triggered Hannah’s grief over Grace (43:04) Why fundraising for Tommy’s is so important to Rachael (53:29) You can connect with Rachael on Instagram @cyclingthighs and find out more about her latest endurance challenge to raise money for Tommys @run.swim.bike.hike. Thanks to Izzy Syme for editing and producing the show. If you have any feedback on the show, suggestions for guests or would like to share your story, you can connect with me on Instagram (https://www.instagram.com/footprintsonourhearts/), Twitter (https://twitter.com/skyesfootprints) or email alison@footprintsonourhearts.com. If you enjoy the podcast, please leave a rating or review on your podcast app! You can support the show on Patreon - https://www.patreon.com/footprintsonourhearts

In Episode 58 of Footprints on our Hearts, I talk to Ali Ande, whose first son, DJ was sadly stillborn in 2016. Her second son Grayson and her third son, Gavin were both born prematurely, Gavin at the height of the covid-19 pandemic last year. In the interview, we talk about: Ali’s journey to getting pregnant and the naivety of pregnancy before loss (09:13) Going into hospital to give birth to DJ and spending time with him after he was born (20:44) How a nurse’s wise words helped prepare Ali for grief (27:08) Experiencing anxiety while pregnant with her second son, Grayson, and how she felt when he was in NICU (31:10) Her third pregnancy with Gavin and giving birth during a global pandemic (38:41) Why she created a platform to support other bereaved parents (44:04) How she feels raising black kids in America today (50:48) You can connect with Ali on Instagram @aliandeenterprise and find out more about her on her website: https://www.aliandeenterprise.com/. Thanks to Izzy Syme for editing and producing the show. If you enjoy the podcast, please leave a rating or review on your podcast app! You can support the show on Patreon - https://www.patreon.com/footprintsonourhearts

In Episode 57 of Footprints on our Hearts, I welcome Ruth Hopkins back to the podcast! Ruth was my guest in Episode 4, when we talked about her ectopic pregnancy, her son, Dexter, who was stillborn, and her subsequent miscarriage. Last year, Ruth and Dave decided to apply to become adoptive parents and Ruth kindly agreed to come back onto the podcast to talk about the process their went through and the emotional aspect of deciding to grow their family in a different way. In the interview, we talk about: Ruth’s experience of baby loss and unexplained secondary infertility (05:05) Why they decided to explore adoption (17.33) The process Ruth and Dave went through to become prospective adoptive parents (21:55) How counselling has helped her process her grief and put her in a position to empathise with children who have been through traumatic experiences (31:45) Finding out they’d been approved as p (38:23) De-Dextering Dexter’s room and preparing their home for a new child (47:25) Coming to terms with not being able to involve Dexter in their child’s life in the same way as they would have done had he had a biological sibling (53.05) You can connect with Ruth on Instagram @ruth_and_her_bear and @born_from_the_heart. Thanks to Izzy Syme for editing and producing the show.  If you enjoy the podcast, please leave a rating or review on your podcast app! You can connect with me on Instagram (https://www.instagram.com/footprintsonourhearts/), Twitter (https://twitter.com/skyesfootprints) or email alison@footprintsonourhearts.com. You can support the show on Patreon - https://www.patreon.com/footprintsonourhearts

This week, I talk with Laura Gallagher, the author of Robo-Babies a children’s book that explains the many varied ways in which families can form. We discuss Laura’s experience of IVF, parenting after infertility, birth trauma and loss, and the two ectopic pregnancies she sadly experienced after her son’s birth. In the interview, we talk about: Feeling embarrassed and alone having been told they would need to go through IVF to conceive (15:02) The pressure of only having one viable embryo and Rafe’s birth (19:46) The challenges of bonding with your baby after infertility, birth trauma or loss (26:56) Getting pregnant naturally and finding out it was ectopic (35:04) Experiencing a second ectopic pregnancy and why this was so much harder (42:14) Laura’s experience of grief after loss (48:45) Why she decided to write Robo-Babies (58:00) You can connect with Laura on Instagram @robomummy and get a copy of Robo-Babies from Owlet Press or all good bookstores! In the introduction, I talk about the Channel 4 documentary, The Black Maternity Scandal, and Chine McDonald’s article in the Independent on why she used her husband’s whiteness to keep her safe. Thanks to Izzy Syme for editing and producing the show. If you have any feedback on the show, suggestions for guests or would like to share your story, you can connect with me on Instagram (https://www.instagram.com/footprintsonourhearts/), Twitter (https://twitter.com/skyesfootprints) or email alison@footprintsonourhearts.com. If you enjoy the podcast, please leave a rating or review on your podcast app! You can support the show on Patreon - https://www.patreon.com/footprintsonourhearts

This week, I talk to Claire Cassidy about her son, Finn, who lost his fight for life after 34 days. Finn was diagnosed with three congenital heart defects and underwent multiple surgeries before he sadly passed away. We chat about Finn, Claire’s grief and the impact on her older son, Lucas, who wasn’t allowed into the hospital to see his brother due to Covid-19 regulations. In the interview, we talk about: Realising Finn wasn’t well, being rushed to the NICU then transferred to Glasgow Children’s Hospital (6:56) Receiving a diagnosis of three heart conditions and watching Finn undergo two open-heart surgeries (14:26) Finding out there had been catastrophic complications during further surgery and holding Finn while he passed away (20:13) Why Lucas wasn’t able to see his baby brother in hospital and how that impacted his grief (29:27) Claire’s experience of grief and a bereaved mother’s guilt (34:45) What Finn has taught her about life and celebrating his memory (37:56) You can connect with Claire on Instagram @clairecassidy96. Claire and Mark received support from two charities who they’re now fundraising for: Brightest Star and The Zak Braveheart Foundation. If you have any feedback on the show, suggestions for guests or would like to share your story, you can connect with me on Instagram (https://www.instagram.com/footprintsonourhearts/), Twitter (https://twitter.com/skyesfootprints) or email alison@footprintsonourhearts.com. If you enjoy the podcast, please leave a rating or review on your podcast app! You can support the show on Patreon - https://www.patreon.com/footprintsonourhearts Thanks to Izzy Syme for editing and producing this episode.

In Episode 54, I chat with Sarah Chapman about her daughter Eliza, who was stillborn in 2018, and her rainbow baby, Liberty. We discuss grief, secondary infertility, IVF and parenting after loss, plus how they include Eliza in their day-to-day family life. In the interview, we talk about: Sarah’s pregnancy with Eliza, going into labour and finding out her baby had died (7:38) How Sarah felt about meeting Eliza after she was born (16:31) How having her parents live in the States and suffering a further family bereavement shortly after Eliza’s death impacted on Sarah and her husband’s grief (26:57) Sharing Eliza’s story and fundraising in her memory (33:24) Deciding to try again and having to go through IVF to get pregnant with their second daughter (37:07) How covid 19 had a positive impact on Sarah’s experience of pregnancy after loss (43:04) Parenting after loss and how they include Eliza in their family (44:56) You can connect with Sarah on Instagram @ourlittlesnowdrop and on Facebook at https://www.facebook.com/elizasmummy. Sarah mentions a couple of her favourite books for talking to children about baby loss and IVF. These are These Precious Little People by Frankie Brunker (@thesepreciouslittlepeople) and Robo-Babies by Laura Gallagher (@robomummy). If you have any feedback on the show, suggestions for guests or would like to share your story, you can connect with me on Instagram (https://www.instagram.com/footprintsonourhearts/), Twitter (https://twitter.com/skyesfootprints) or email alison@footprintsonourhearts.com. If you enjoy the podcast, please leave a rating or review on your podcast app! You can support the show on Patreon - https://www.patreon.com/footprintsonourhearts Thanks to Izzy Syme for editing and producing this episode.

In Episode 53 of Footprints on our Hearts, I chat to Clint Watkins who lost two sons at different stages of pregnancy. We discuss Clint and his wife’s dilemma over whether to continue with her pregnancy after having been told their son would not survive and what plans they made to honour their son both during pregnancy and after he was born. We also chat about Clint’s faith and the role of grief and lamentation in faith. In the interview, we talk about: Getting pregnant and finding out that their baby had anencephaly (2:18) Facing an impossible decision and deciding to continue with the pregnancy (8:53) Preparing for Eli’s birth and death and making memories during pregnancy (15:33) Meeting Eli after his birth and planning his funeral (24:48) The role of lamentation in faith (31:09) Losing their second son, Rowe to miscarriage (35:40) Why he decided to speak out about baby loss (41:27) You can connect with Clint on Instagram @clintdwatkins and read his blog - www.frailfather.com. If you have any feedback on the show, suggestions for guests or would like to share your story, you can connect with me on Instagram (https://www.instagram.com/footprintsonourhearts/), Twitter (https://twitter.com/skyesfootprints) or email alison@footprintsonourhearts.com. If you enjoy the podcast, please leave a rating or review on your podcast app! You can support the show on Patreon - https://www.patreon.com/footprintsonourhearts

This week, I have a special bonus episode to celebrate one year of the podcast! I’ve been catching up with a few of my past guests, reflecting on what I’ve learned from talking to so many parents about their experiences of baby loss and sharing my own reflections on the past year.In Part One, I share seven things I’ve learned from the stories that I’ve shared on Footprints on our Hearts. (3:10)In Part Two (18:00), I share some reflections on the past year.In my mini interview with Karl, we talk about the healing that his third child has brought to their lives, the motivation behind his sporting challenges, how training helps him reflect and his upcoming endurance challenge raising money for Tommy’s. (19:27)You can listen to Karl’s story in Episode 20 of the podcast and connect with him on Instagram @the_ambitious_endurance. You can also support him and the team completing the West Highland Way challenge @run.swim.bike.hike.In my mini interview with Lucy, we talk about the meaning of balance, how to prioritise self-care when you’re juggling too many plates and why asking for help isn’t a failure. (30:18)You can listen to Lucy’s story in Episode 20 and connect with her on Instagram @_mother_of_one_. You can find out more about the Rainbow Running and Yoga Club and all the events Lucy and her team organise at https://www.rainbowrunningclub.co.uk/.In my reflections on the past year, I talk about passing key grief milestones, pregnancy after loss and searching for balance in my life. (44:05)I wrap up the episode by reflecting on the seasons of life we find ourselves in and accepting that there is a time for everything.If you have any feedback on the show, suggestions for guests or would like to share your story, you can connect with me on Instagram (https://www.instagram.com/footprintsonourhearts/), Twitter (https://twitter.com/skyesfootprints) or email alison@footprintsonourhearts.com. If you enjoy the podcast, please leave a rating or review on your podcast app! You can support the show on Patreon - https://www.patreon.com/footprintsonourhearts

In Episode 51 of Footprints on our Hearts, I chat with Claire and Andrew about their daughter Alexandra who died shortly after she was born. Claire describes Alexandra as having the dubious accolade of being “the biggest and the sickest baby on the NICU”.We discuss why they chose to explore organ donation, grief, counselling, and pregnancy and parenting after loss. Following the arrival of the couple’s second daughter, Ophelia, they experienced two years of unexplained infertility. At the time of recording the interview, Claire was pregnant with their third child and they have since welcomed baby Daphne into the world.In the interview, we talk about:Claire’s pregnancy with Alexandra and being rushed for an emergency c-section the day before her planned induction (10:27)Alexandra’s birth (14:11)Trying to keep Alexandra alive (25:40)Deciding to donate her organs and how this affected their search for answers (32:22)Grief, going back to work and receiving counselling (34:55)Getting pregnant again and pregnancy after loss (39:59)Parenting after loss while grieving Alexandra (46:36)Experiencing unexplained secondary infertility (51:46)You can connect with Claire on Instagram @afteralexandra36 and find out more about Alexandra on her blog www.afteralexandra.co.uk.In the introduction, I mention my husband’s latest endurance challenge to raise money for Tommy’s. He’s part of the @run.swim.bike.hike team planning a triathlon version of the West Highland Way this summer. Please do check out their Instagram page to support them!If you have any feedback on the show, suggestions for guests or would like to share your story, you can connect with me on Instagram (https://www.instagram.com/footprintsonourhearts/), Twitter (https://twitter.com/skyesfootprints) or email alison@footprintsonourhearts.com. If you enjoy the podcast, please leave a rating or review on your podcast app! You can support the show on Patreon - https://www.patreon.com/footprintsonourheartsThanks to Izzy Syme for editing and producing this episode.

In this week’s episode, I chat with Asma Bi about her daughter, Sujdah, who was stillborn in 2018, her Islamic faith and how this helped her grieve. In the same year that Sujdah passed, Asma suffered an extreme allergic reaction to medication which she barely survived. We discuss how this terrible experience helped her accept and be at peace with Sujdah’s death.In the interview, we talk about:Asma’s pregnancy with her daughter, Sujdah, and the events leading up to finding out she had passed away. (6:12)Meeting Sujdah after she was born. (17:07)How her family supported her and Asma’s belief that her daughter is with God. (21:32)Asma’s experience of grief in the early weeks (23:27)Travelling to Pakistan to be with her husband and suffering an extreme allergic reaction to medication (25:52)Being diagnosed with toxic epidermal necrolysis, returning to the UK and being close to death (31:41)Why Asma decided to write a book about her experiences (39:07)You can connect with Asma on Instagram @angelmommy17022018 and buy her book, My Stillbirth Yet Still Here, on Amazon.If you have any feedback on the show, suggestions for guests or would like to share your story, you can connect with me on Instagram (https://www.instagram.com/footprintsonourhearts/), Twitter (https://twitter.com/skyesfootprints) or email alison@footprintsonourhearts.com. If you enjoy the podcast, please leave a rating or review on your podcast app! You can support the show on Patreon - https://www.patreon.com/footprintsonourhearts

In Episode 49 of Footprints on our Hearts, I talk to Christina Rothwell about her experience of losing her baby daughter during the Covid-19 pandemic and the impact the changes to maternity care had on her pregnancy.In the interview, we talk about:Getting pregnant and finding out she had a fibroid on the outside of her uterus and low PAPP-A (6:27)Going in for a repeat scan at 21-weeks and finding out her baby had died. (24:53)Being given a tablet to prepare her body for labour and going in to give birth (31:38)Deciding not to meet her baby, then changing her mind after she was born (39:44)Meeting Peanut and feeling scared about what she’d look like (49:11)Getting the post-mortem results but still not getting certainty over why she had died (53:49)Christina’s experience of PTSD and how therapy has helped her overcome her trauma (56:14)You can connect with Christina on Instagram @christinarothwell.**I’ll be moving to fortnightly interview episodes for the next few months with additional solo shows or special episodes slotted in between. If you’d like to support the podcast and help me keep putting out episodes, please consider becoming a patron of the show - https://www.patreon.com/footprintsonourhearts **If you have any feedback on the show, suggestions for guests or would like to share your story, you can connect with me on Instagram (https://www.instagram.com/footprintsonourhearts/), Twitter (https://twitter.com/skyesfootprints) or email alison@footprintsonourhearts.com. If you enjoy the podcast, please leave a rating or review on your podcast app!

Episode 48 of Footprints on our Hearts is a special solo show on living with loss in 2021. I think we can all agree that 2020 for most people was a really tough year, and I very much hope that 2021 sees a return to a normality that involves hugging, human interaction and not being trapped inside our homes!I’ve spent the past couple of weeks reflecting on my grief journey over the past year and on how we can balance living our best life while allowing ourselves space to grieve. It’s something I’ve talked about with some of my podcast guests and I wanted to share my thoughts and theirs with you.How can we choose happiness while living with loss? How do we build a life that meets our needs and includes the babies we hold in our hearts?In the episode, I talk about:Choosing a word of the year to help you focus on the person you want to be and take control of your life (9:15)Creating time and space for grief (15:00)Habits and daily practices (18:10)Dealing with overwhelm (25:02)I mention the following books:Atomic Habits by James ClearRising Strong by Brené BrownUntamed by Glennon DoyleThe Artist’s Way by Julia CameronIf you have any feedback on the show, suggestions for guests or would like to share your story, you can connect with me on Instagram (https://www.instagram.com/footprintsonourhearts/), Twitter (https://twitter.com/skyesfootprints) or email alison@footprintsonourhearts.com. If you enjoy the podcast, please leave a rating or review on your podcast app! You can support the show on Patreon - https://www.patreon.com/footprintsonourhearts

This week, I talk with Robyn whose daughter, Mackenzie, passed away when she was just two months old as a result of an undiagnosed heart defect. We also talk a lot about Austin, Mackenzie’s younger brother, his fight for life and why Robyn has never thought of him as her “rainbow baby”.In the interview, we talk about:Robyn’s pregnancy with Mackenzie and what she was like as a baby (6:24)The events that led up to Mackenzie’s passing (9:47)Being questioned after her death and the botched autopsy (18:52)Falling pregnant with her son after struggling to conceive and finding out he had problems with his heart (31:34)Moving city to give birth to her son who had open heart surgery when he was just 36 hours old (41:12)Robyn’s pregnancy with her youngest daughter (52:48)How they remember Mackenzie (54:05)I’ll be taking a break from the podcast over Christmas and the New Year, but will be back with the next episode on January 8th. If you’re wanting to listen to more baby loss stories over the festive period, please check out the backlist of 46 episodes!Thank you for your support over the past year and special thanks to my patrons who help me keep the podcast going. I wish you all a gentle Christmas.If you have any feedback on the show, suggestions for guests or would like to share your story, you can connect with me on Instagram (https://www.instagram.com/footprintsonourhearts/), Twitter (https://twitter.com/skyesfootprints) or email alison@footprintsonourhearts.com. If you enjoy the podcast, please leave a rating or review on your podcast app! You can support the show on Patreon - https://www.patreon.com/footprintsonourhearts

In Episode 46 of Footprints on our Hearts, guest host, Chainie Jackson talks to Emily about her son Sawyer, who was diagnosed with hydrops during the second trimester of her pregnancy and sadly passed away shortly after his birth.In the interview, they talk about:Being told at their first scan that Sawyer had fluid around the back of his neck (4:02)Finding out Sawyer had hydrops fetalis and having various tests to determine the severity of his condition (10:22)Meeting with a panel of doctors and making plans to give Sawyer the best possible chance (24:15)Being admitted to hospital with severe swelling, finding out she had mirror syndrome and having to have an emergency caesarean section (29:02)Being told that Sawyer had passed away and meeting him for the first time (43:56)Spending time with Sawyer in the hospital (48:50)Emily’s favourite memories of her son (53:40)You can connect with Emily on Instagram @sowingseedsofsawyer.If you have any feedback on the show, suggestions for guests or would like to share your story, you can connect with me on Instagram (https://www.instagram.com/footprintsonourhearts/), Twitter (https://twitter.com/skyesfootprints) or email alison@footprintsonourhearts.com. If you enjoy the podcast, please leave a rating or review on your podcast app! You can support the show on Patreon - https://www.patreon.com/footprintsonourhearts

This week, I talk to Jenna Johnson about her daughter, Poppy Hope, who died just 26 hours after birth in May 2020. Jenna was told Poppy was likely to die shortly after a premature rupture of membranes at 12 weeks, but Poppy proved to be a fighter and made it all the way to 33 weeks before arriving into the world.In the interview, we talk about:Jenna’s bicornuate uterus and her pregnancy with her first child, Daisy (5:40)The early weeks of her pregnancy with Poppy and discovering she had premature rupturing of her membranes at 12 weeks (16:37)The impact of PPROM and being given a choice between miscarrying naturally or terminating her pregnancy (26:20)Research, second opinions and clinging to hope (30:22)Going into lockdown and the impact of Covid-19 on her antenatal care (40:50)Going into labour at 33 weeks, being left in triage alone and Jenna’s emergency c section (48:52)Poppy’s 26 hours of life (1:03:10)Making memories as a family at Claire House Hospice (1:13:14)You can connect with Jenna on Instagram @Jenno01.This week, I’ve put out a request for a volunteer editor! If you’re interested in helping me deliver the podcast and can commit to editing at least two episodes a month for three months, please get in touch. Full training will be provided.If you have any feedback on the show, suggestions for guests or would like to share your story, you can connect with me on Instagram (https://www.instagram.com/footprintsonourhearts/), Twitter (https://twitter.com/skyesfootprints) or email alison@footprintsonourhearts.com. If you enjoy the podcast, please leave a rating or review on your podcast app! You can support the show on Patreon - https://www.patreon.com/footprintsonourhearts

In Episode 44 of Footprints on our Hearts, guest host, Chainie Jackson talks to Jessica about her son Hector who was diagnosed with Edwards’ syndrome. As well as talking about Hector, they discuss the language used to deliver bad news and how this can affect parent’s perception of what their options are particularly around medical terminations.In the interview, they talk about:Jessica’s pregnancy with Hector and finding out he was high risk for Edwards or Patau syndrome (7:13)Why the label “incompatible with life” doesn’t always give parents the full picture (9:32)Finding out Hector had a high probability of Edwards’ syndrome (17:04)Deciding not to terminate her pregnancy and battling with medical professionals who had written him off (28:42)Finally getting support for Hector from a consultant who treated him like a baby (37:50)Finding out that his placenta was failing and having to change his care plan (40:24)Having an emergency delivery and spending three hours and four minutes with Hector before he passed away (44:24)In the intro I talk about Meghan, Duchess of Sussex opening up about her pregnancy. I mention that this is the first time I’ve heard of a member of the royal family talking about baby loss, however I need to correct that – both Sophie, Countess of Wessex and Zara Tindall, the Queen’s granddaughter have spoken out about their own experiences.If you have any feedback on the show, suggestions for guests or would like to share your story, you can connect with me on Instagram (https://www.instagram.com/footprintsonourhearts/), Twitter (https://twitter.com/skyesfootprints) or email alison@footprintsonourhearts.com. If you enjoy the podcast, please leave a rating or review on your podcast app! You can support the show on Patreon - https://www.patreon.com/footprintsonourhearts

This week, I have a special episode with thoughts and suggestions for how you can survive the festive season, involve your children in your celebrations and find happiness at this difficult time of year.Although this episode is centred around Christmas, many of the ideas and suggestions are applicable to any festival or special occasion that you celebrate. These times of the year have so many hopes and dreams wound up in them that they can be really tough whether your loss is recent or many years ago.I talk about:Letting go of expectationsCoping with the build up to Christmas and 24 ideas for Advent to RememberHow you might want to include your baby in your family’s Christmas celebrationsHow family and friends can support bereaved parents at this time of yearYou can find out more about Advent to Remember on Instagram @thelegacyofleo or on The Legacy of Leo website: https://thelegacyofleo.com/adventtoremember/Most importantly, please do be kind to yourself this Christmas. I hope this episode gives you some ideas and support for getting through the festive season and you can find some joy amongst the sadness and loss.If you have any feedback on the show, suggestions for guests or would like to share your story, you can connect with me on Instagram (https://www.instagram.com/footprintsonourhearts/), Twitter (https://twitter.com/skyesfootprints) or email alison@footprintsonourhearts.com. If you enjoy the podcast, please leave a rating or review on your podcast app! You can support the show on Patreon - https://www.patreon.com/footprintsonourhearts

In Episode 42 of Footprints on our Hearts, guest host, Karl, talks to Jenedy Paige about grief, her Christian faith, creativity and sport. Jenedy is a professional oil painter, a runner, weightlifter and Ninja Warrior. Her eldest son passed away in 2011 following a tragic accident when he was just three and a half years old.Jenedy is really open and honest about how her faith was challenged in the aftermath of her son’s death and how she worked through this. Whether you are a person of faith or not, Jenedy has some great advice and practical tips on what helped her move through her grief and how she was able to let go of her broken heart. I found the interview both inspiring and full of hope that there can be life after loss.In the interview, we talk about:The death of Jenedy’s eldest son and how she struggled with her faith in the months afterwards (7:08)How journaling, art and running helped her through her grief (12:35)How Jenedy and her husband kept their relationship together and the importance of date nights (29:50)Battling PTSD and how faith helped her let go of her broken heart (37:55)How they keep her son’s memory alive (43:25)Competing in Ninja Warrior in memory of him. (46:10)You can connect with Jenedy on Instagram @jenedypaige and find her artwork on her website: jenedypaige.com.If you have any feedback on the show, suggestions for guests or would like to share your story, you can connect with me on Instagram (https://www.instagram.com/footprintsonourhearts/), Twitter (https://twitter.com/skyesfootprints) or email alison@footprintsonourhearts.com. If you enjoy the podcast, please leave a rating or review on your podcast app! You can support the show on Patreon - https://www.patreon.com/footprintsonourhearts

In Episode 41 of Footprints on our Hearts, I talk to Julie Beicken about her son, Wallace, who was stillborn at 37 weeks in 2019. Most mothers are induced to give birth to their stillborn child, but Julie chose an abdominal birth (caesarean section) for reasons she explains in the interview. We also talk about grief, endometriosis and exploring adoption.In the interview, we talk about:Julie’s pregnancy with her daughter, Suzy, and coming to terms with having an emergency caesarean section (10:40)Getting pregnant with Wallace and how her pregnancy went (15:22)Finding out that Wallace had died and deciding to change her birth plan to have an abdominal birth (18:00)Meeting Wallace after his birth (37:08)How Julie’s grief has evolved over the past year and how it was different to her grief after her mother’s death in 2011 (42:30)Struggling to get pregnant again and deciding to look into adoption (51:30)Scattering Wallace’s ashes and having places to go to remember him (58:24)You can connect with Julie on Instagram @rememberingwallace.In the intro, I talk about National Fertility Awareness Week, a return to lockdown and making sure you feel safe at work if you’re currently pregnant. The template letter you can use to write to your employer and other advice on your legal rights can be found here: https://pregnantthenscrewed.com/covid-19/write-to-your-employer-risks-for-pregnant-women/If you have any feedback on the show, suggestions for guests or would like to share your story, you can connect with me on Instagram (https://www.instagram.com/footprintsonourhearts/), Twitter (https://twitter.com/skyesfootprints) or email alison@footprintsonourhearts.com. If you enjoy the podcast, please leave a rating or review on your podcast app! You can support the show on Patreon - https://www.patreon.com/footprintsonourhearts

In this week’s episode, guest host, Lucie Burns, talks to Cat Hardwick about her son Benjamin. Benjamin was an identical twin and after finding out he had died at 32 weeks, Cat carried him for a further two weeks before Benjamin and his living brother, Nathaneal, were delivered.In the interview, they talk about:Finding out she was pregnant with identical twins and discovering at a routine scan that one of the twins had died (6:29)Discovering at a routine scan at 32 weeks that one of their twins had died (16:06)How the support of their friend and bereavement midwife helped Cat during the two weeks before the twins were delivered (26:24)Choosing to spend time with Benjamin after they were born (41:44)Nathaneal’s awareness of his twin brother and talking about Ben in day to day life (1:00:25)The importance of normalising death with children 1:06:07)Read more about Cat’s story on her blog: https://navigatingthewhirlwind.blogspot.com/You can hear Lucie’s story of her son, Benedict, in Episode 9 of the podcast.In the intro, I mention Chrissy Teigen’s blog post about sharing her story and photos of her baby loss experience. You can read it here: https://chrissyteigen.medium.com/hi-2e45e6faf764  If you have any feedback on the show, suggestions for guests or would like to share your story, you can connect with me on Instagram (https://www.instagram.com/footprintsonourhearts/), Twitter (https://twitter.com/skyesfootprints) or email alison@footprintsonourhearts.com. If you enjoy the podcast, please leave a rating or review on your podcast app! You can support the podcast on Patreon: https://patreon.com/footprintsonourhearts.

In Episode 39 of Footprints on our Hearts, I talk to Josie Woods about her son, Oliver, who was stillborn after being diagnosed with a heart condition during pregnancy. We chat about the complex emotions associated with grief and why losing Oliver caused Josie and her partner to sell the home they’d so recently moved into.In the interview, we talk about:Josie’s pregnancy with Oliver (3:58)Finding out that Oliver had a problem with his heart and coming to terms with the fact that he probably wouldn’t survive (8:38)Oliver’s death and giving birth to her son (14:16)The early weeks of grief and grieving during lockdown (23:22)Getting pregnant again and losing her rainbow baby (32:23)Struggling with feelings of jealousy around pregnancy announcements (41:02)Learning to remember Oliver in a happy way and speaking out about baby loss (44:12)You can connect with Josie on Instagram @precious_little_footprints and read more about Oliver on her blog: https://preciouslittlefootprints.wordpress.com/If you have any feedback on the show, suggestions for guests or would like to share your story, you can connect with me on Instagram (https://www.instagram.com/footprintsonourhearts/), Twitter (https://twitter.com/skyesfootprints) or email alison@footprintsonourhearts.com. If you enjoy the podcast, please leave a rating or review on your podcast app and consider supporting the podcast on Patreon (https://www.patreon.com/footprintsonourhearts).

This week’s episode of Footprints on our Hearts is the concluding segment of my mini-series on pregnancy after loss. A few weeks ago, we welcomed our rainbow baby, Rowan, into the world. In this solo show, I talk about the final (and hardest) weeks of my pregnancy, Rowan’s birth and the emotional rollercoaster that is parenting after loss.I’d like to give a big shout out to all the people who support the podcast on Patreon and in particular, to this week’s new patron, Julie, mum to Wallace who was stillborn in August last year. I am so grateful to all my patrons for helping me continue producing this podcast and sharing stories of baby loss. If you’d like to become a patron of the show you can by going to www.patreon.com/footprintsonourhearts.You can also support the podcast by sharing it and leaving a rating or review on your podcast app.

It’s the start of baby loss awareness week and I have a very special guest on the podcast – my husband, Sam. He has been my rock throughout our marriage and particularly over the last year and a half after losing Skye and during my pregnancy with our rainbow baby.Sam is very much a lurker on the edge of the baby loss community, and unlike some of my previous guests who’ve chosen to speak out about their experiences, is quite a private person. For this reason, I think this episode might be particularly helpful for those dads and partners who perhaps don’t talk about their children as much, and for mums who maybe get frustrated that their partners don’t express their grief so openly.In the interview we talk about:How Sam felt when I showed him the positive pregnancy test and his awareness of baby loss (12:37)Finding out that Skye had died and the in-between days (15:53)Going into hospital for Skye’s birth and seeing her for the first time (21:51)Feeling sidelined by staff as the birth partner and father (29:48)Sam’s grief journey, unpicking emotions and unexpected triggers (36:03)How we remember Skye in our day to day lives and talking to other people about her (42:05)His experience of pregnancy after loss (46:16)In the intro, I talk about Baby Loss Awareness Week and the Wave of Light which will take place at 7pm on Thursday 15th October.While this is a special time to remember our babies, it can also mean that feelings of grief, loss and anger can bubble up or overwhelm us, so do be gentle with yourselves, take time for self-care and to let yourself grieve if that’s what you need to do.If you enjoy the podcast, I’d really appreciate it if you could leave a review on your podcast app. You can connect with me on Instagram (https://www.instagram.com/footprintsonourhearts/) and Twitter (https://twitter.com/skyesfootprints) or email alison@footprintsonourhearts.com.

In Episode 36 of Footprints on our Hearts, I chat with Abi Bradley about her son, Lucas, who died aged 12 days old in 2014. We discuss the traumatic circumstances of Lucas’s death as well as Abi’s experience of pregnancy and parenting after loss. We also talk about PTSD, which Abi experienced most strongly some years after Lucas’s death.In the interview, we cover:Abi’s pregnancy with Lucas and his birth and first 11 daysWhat happened when Lucas fell suddenly sick and was rushed to hospital (10:20)The police arriving to question them only a few hours after Lucas died (17:49)Having to return to their house without him (23:17)Finding support through the Sands forum in the first weeks and months of grief (30:42)Abi’s experience of pregnancy after loss and bringing her daughters home (32:29)Parenting after loss and how EMDR therapy helped with PTSD (42:48)Why Abi decided to set up When You Wish Upon a Star (50:50)You can connect with Abi on Instagram @abibradley.x. She also has an Instagram page and Facebook page for her business, When You Wish Upon a Star, selling beautiful cards and keepsakes with the baby loss community in mind.Find our more on Abi’s website (https://whenyouwish-uponastar.co.uk/) and Etsy shop (https://www.etsy.com/uk/shop/wishuponastarbyabi).If you’d like to support the show, the beginning of the month is the best time to do it! Find out more at https://www.patreon.com/footprintsonourhearts. You can also support the show by spreading the word and leaving a review or rating on your podcast app!

This week, I’m delighted to welcome Cat Strawbridge, host of the Finally Pregnant podcast onto the show for a special episode on pregnancy and parenting after infertility and loss. We talk about our own experiences and have some tips for you if you’re currently pregnant.As part of our conversation we talk about:Feelings on finding out you’re pregnant and when to tell people (10:28)Managing anxiety (and excitement) during pregnancy after loss (24:00)The loss of a "normal" pregnancy (43:46)How infertility and loss can affect your birth choices and when things don’t go to plan (54:00)Struggling to think about parenting and the ups and downs of parenting after loss (1:04:23)If you’re pregnant after infertility or loss, I highly recommend listening to the Finally Pregnant podcast. Cat also created the Finally Pregnant Hang Out, a membership community for men and women who are finally pregnant and parenting.You can connect with Cat on Instagram @tryingyears and find out more about the podcast and Hang Out on her website: https://www.catstrawbridge.com/. Cat is also one half of the dynamic duo @itscatandalice.You can support the podcast and help me keep putting out weekly episodes on Patreon at https://www.patreon.com/footprintsonourhearts.If you have any feedback on the show, suggestions for guests or would like to share your story, you can connect with me on Instagram (https://www.instagram.com/footprintsonourhearts/), Twitter (https://twitter.com/skyesfootprints) or email alison@footprintsonourhearts.com. If you enjoy the podcast, please leave a rating or review on your podcast app!

In Episode 34 of Footprints on our Hearts, I welcome my first Canadian guest! Leigh Niwa’s daughter, Winry, was stillborn just a few months ago at the height of the covid-19 lockdown in Canada. Leigh’s experience of pregnancy, loss and grief has been overshadowed by the global pandemic that left them isolated and alone.In the interview, we talk about:Leigh’s complicated journey to deciding to start a family later in life (8:30)The pandemic hitting, how this affected Leigh’s antenatal care and the lost opportunities to enjoy the final weeks of pregnancy (25:10)Going into labour and finding out Winry had died (37:58)Making memories after Winry was born (50:05)The impact of covid-19 and lockdown on Leigh’s grief and loneliness (57:04)Remembering Winry – lions, setting her free and terrible cakes (1:03:58)You can connect with Leigh on Instagram at @elldot.niwa.You can support the podcast and help me keep putting out weekly episodes on Patreon at https://www.patreon.com/footprintsonourhearts.If you have any feedback on the show, suggestions for guests or would like to share your story, you can connect with me on Instagram (https://www.instagram.com/footprintsonourhearts/), Twitter (https://twitter.com/skyesfootprints) or email alison@footprintsonourhearts.com. If you enjoy the podcast, please leave a rating or review on your podcast app!

This is a special extra episode of Footprints on our Hearts! I wanted to give you an update on my experience of pregnancy after loss as I start thinking about birth planning and also talk about the current impact of coronavirus on maternity care.In this mini episode, I talk about:Getting through the final few weeks of pregnancy and how I’ve been trying to prepare for a positive birth experience.The key to getting a good night’s sleep (for me at least!).My anxieties around going in for induction without my husband and what I’ve been doing about it.The latest guidance from NHS England on getting maternity services back to normal and variations in restrictions across the country.How and why you might want to advocate for your rights around pregnancy and birth.You can read the NHS England guidance here.The Birthrights website has lots of information on your rights in pregnancy and birth and may be able to help you if you feel you’re not being supported appropriately.

In Episode 33 of Footprints on our Hearts, I chat with Priya Shah about her triplets, Adhiya, Ariya and Adhira. Priya’s pregnancy was a rollercoaster of hope, heartbreak and difficult decisions, and sadly she only got to bring Adhiya home.In the interview, we talk about:Priya’s journey to getting pregnant and finding out they were expecting tripletsFacing the terrible decision over whether to reduce the pregnancy (14:43)Struggling to prepare for the birth of her babies (27:29)Baby loss being a taboo subject in her culture (32:35)Going into labour at 34 weeks and giving birth to Adhiya and Ariya (34:19)Being told Ariya wouldn’t survive and spending time with her (41:38)Grieving while dealing with the demands of being a parent to Adhiya (50:40)Involving all three of her children in family life and Indian culture (58:26)You can connect with Priya on Instagram @our_one_of_three and read more about her story on her blog: https://ouroneofthree.com/I have good news! Thanks to my wonderful volunteer guest hosts and editors, I should be able to continue putting out weekly episodes for at least the next few months.If you’d like to support the podcast and help it remain viable for the long term, then please do consider becoming a Patreon support. You can support the podcast from just a few pounds a month with all the money going towards hosting, production and editing costs. Find out more at https://patreon.com/footprintsonourhearts.

Today, I have a solo show for you! I talk about my experience of pregnancy after loss during the Covid-19 pandemic, including scanxiety, hanging onto hope through bad news, the third trimester we’re-bringing-a-baby-home panic and fears about what lies ahead in the fourth trimester.I want to give a special shout out to the Tommy’s Rainbow Clinic in Manchester and especially to the amazing rainbow clinic team at Leeds General Infirmary for their incredible support during my pregnancy.I’d love to know what you think of the solo shows, if you’d like to see more general discussion episodes in future and what topics you’d like me to cover. You can message me on Instagram or email me at alison@footprintsonourhearts.com.

This week, I have a special episode with Karen Burgess, the Chief Executive and Founder of Petals, the baby loss counselling charity. We talk about grief, counselling and therapy after pregnancy or infant loss, some of the dark emotions that go alongside this and how the support Petals offer is different from more general counselling that may be available in your local area.Karen is truly passionate about bereaved parents getting the support they need after losing a baby. Whether you’ve recently lost a baby, are still struggling years down the line or want to know more about the support that’s available, I think you’ll find this podcast episode really valuable.As part of our conversation we talk about:Why Karen founded Petals and the importance of specialist support after baby loss (5:53)The difference between counselling and other forms of therapy (16:08)How the support Petals offer is different from general counselling and why it’s not as simple as “just grief” (20:50)The dark emotions that go alongside baby loss – guilt and shame (31:40)Anxieties around official records of mental health support and when the best time to seek counselling support is (42:16)How to go about finding counselling or other mental health support (49:56)How family and friends can support bereaved parents through their grief journey (55:05)You can find out more about Petals, including how to access support and how to donate and support their work on their website: https://petalscharity.org/I wanted to particularly mention the Petals Pioneers fundraising campaign that Petals are currently running to provide free online counselling services to people across the UK. This will make their specialist bespoke support available to more people who need it. Find out more: https://www.crowdfunder.co.uk/help-petals-pioneer-online-baby-loss-counsellingA huge thank you to my new patron this week, Hayley, and big thanks to all my patrons who help me keep the podcast running. Find out more at https://www.patreon.com/footprintsonourhearts

In Episode 30 of Footprints on our Hearts, I talk with Amy Watson, a life coach who specialises in supporting women who’ve experienced baby loss. We talk about the two children Amy didn’t get to bring home – Lauren and River – and how their deaths affected her older children. She also has some very wise words on allowing ourselves to feel a full range of emotions.In the interview, we discuss:Amy’s pregnancy with her fifth child, Lauren, and finding out her heart had stopped beating (14:35)Giving birth to Lauren and bringing their children in to meet their sister (20:33)Grieving Lauren while supporting her family and being pregnant with her rainbow baby (26:05)Her pregnancy with River, missed miscarriage and difficult recovery from a D&C (36:07)Remembering Lauren and River as part of their family (46:10)Learning to find joy and happiness again (50:25)Setting up her life coaching business to support baby loss moms (53:18)You can connect with Amy on Instagram @amy.smoothstonescoaching and find out more about her coaching and podcast on her website https://smoothstonescoaching.com.In the introduction, I talk about the indirect effects of Covid-19 and lockdown on occurrences of stillbirth and give a big shoutout to my wonderful new patrons!To support the show and access exclusive patron benefits visit https://www.patreon.com/footprintsonourhearts.If you have any feedback on the show, suggestions for guests or would like to share your story, you can connect with me on Instagram (https://www.instagram.com/footprintsonourhearts/), Twitter (https://twitter.com/skyesfootprints) or email alison@footprintsonourhearts.com.

This week, I chat to Ariel about her son, Onyx, who died shortly after he was born due to premature labour. After several previous experiences of pregnancy loss, Ariel chose to be intentional in her grief after Onyx’s death and she’s done a lot to honour his memory.We also talk a bit about pregnancy and parenting after loss and how Ariel included Onyx in her daughter’s birth.In the interview, we talk about:Ariel’s first two experiences of pregnancy loss – a missed miscarriage followed by a second miscarriage (12:10)Falling pregnant with Onyx and going into labour at 20 weeks and 3 days (19:30)Experiencing a placental abruption and giving birth to Onyx (25:24)The first few weeks of grief and choosing to grieve intentionally (33:25)Taking part in the Fourth Trimester Body Project just a few weeks after Onyx’s birth (35:13)Honouring Onyx’s memory as part of the Day of the Dead / Day of the Little Angels celebrations (40:36) – read more in her blog postAriel’s experience of pregnancy after loss and how she included Onyx in her daughter’s birth (46:40)The challenges of parenting after loss (52:32)You can connect with Ariel on Instagram and Facebook and find out more about Onyx’s story and parenting after loss on her blog, A Rainbow From Onyx and her YouTube channel.In the introduction to the podcast, I have a sensitive announcement to make, plus I’m asking for your help to keep the podcast running.You can now support the podcast on Patreon! https://www.patreon.com/footprintsonourheartsIf you have any feedback on the show, suggestions for guests or would like to share your story, you can connect with me on Instagram (https://www.instagram.com/footprintsonourhearts/), Twitter (https://twitter.com/skyesfootprints) or email alison@footprintsonourhearts.com. If you enjoy the podcast, please leave a rating or review on your podcast app!

In this week’s episode, I talk with Alexa Mosberger about the stillbirth of her daughter, Beatrice, at the height of the Covid-19 pandemic in the UK.I am so grateful to Alexa for coming on to the podcast so soon after Beatrice’s death to share her experiences. Losing a baby at any time is a traumatic experience, but the added complexity of lockdown restrictions and loss of face-to-face support from both family and professional organisations makes navigating loss and grief even more difficult.In the interview, we talk about:Alexa’s pregnancy with Beatrice and going into lockdown a week before the rest of the UK (16:10)Worries about how the pandemic would affect their maternity care and birth, trying to juggle home schooling and working from home while heavily pregnant (20:10)Waking up in the night, realising Beatrice wasn’t moving and going in for a check up (30:36)Finding out that Beatrice had died and being diagnosed with pre-eclampsia (34:23)Being induced and giving birth to Beatrice (47:20)The impact of lockdown and not being able to see her parents (59:47)How being in a lockdown bubble delayed the impact of grief and affected her judgement of risk (1:03:48)In the intro, I talk about the new Consensus Guidelines on the Communication of Unexpected News Via Ultrasound which were released this week. It includes advice for sonographers on how to approach communicating uncertainties and bad news to parents and examples of phrases they could use. If you’d like to read the document, you can find it on the Sands website: https://sands.org.uk/about-sands/media-centre/news/2020/08/explaining-unexpected-baby-scan-news-expectant-parentsIf you have any feedback on the show, suggestions for guests or would like to share your story, you can connect with me on Instagram (https://www.instagram.com/footprintsonourhearts/), Twitter (https://twitter.com/skyesfootprints) or email alison@footprintsonourhearts.com. If you enjoy the podcast, please leave a rating or review on your podcast app!

This week, I have a long-distance interview with my first Australian guest! Jaimie-Lee Roy’s daughter, River died just 32 hours after being born prematurely in 2019. Jaimie-Lee’s wife’s pregnancy with River was far from straightforward and we discuss the challenges of being the non-birth mother during pregnancy, River’s birth and after she died.In the interview we talk about:Their decision to start a family and finding out they were pregnant (05:00)Pregnancy complications and being told their baby was going to die at 13 weeks after premature rupture of membrane (11:25)Continuing with the pregnancy, knowing River would be born prematurely (27:33)Being admitted to hospital at 25 weeks (37:17)Her wife being rushed into theatre and being left in a room not knowing whether either Lisa or their baby would live (49:13)Meeting River and then having to say goodbye to her 32 hours later (56:25)Going home and struggling with loss of support, in particular for what Jaimie-Lee had been through as the mother who didn’t carry River (1:17:17)Going travelling in a converted bus, coming home and having to learn to live again (1:24:25)You can find out more about River’s story and connect with Jaimie-Lee on Instagram @jaimieleeroy. If you want to know more about the route to lesbian parenting and the legalities of donor conception and same-sex parenting in the UK, I recommend this blog post on The Legacy of Leo website. In the introduction, I talk about the Jonah Bichotte Cowan law which was recently passed in the New York State Assembly and Senate. You can find out more here.

Today, I’m joined on the podcast by Katie Ingram for a special episode on talking about baby loss and how to support grieving parents. If you know someone whose child has died and you’re not sure what to say or how to support them, this episode may help. Katie has recently launched the No Words campaign to help create a public dialogue around baby loss. We talk about the things people say or don’t say when your baby dies and the impact that can have when you’re grieving. As part of our conversation we talk about:Our own experiences of baby lossWhat the No Words campaign is all aboutWhy everyone will know someone who has experienced pregnancy or infant lossTalking about baby loss and why it’s so importantThe uniqueness of baby loss grief compared to other types of griefHow to support grieving parents – what to do and sayHow to support grieving parents – what not to do and sayYou can find out more about Katie’s No Words campaign by following the hashtag #NoWords on Instagram or visiting her website (where you can also get your own No Words t-shirt!): https://withoutottilie.com/nowords/. Katie’s Instagram account is @withoutottilie. Please do share this episode to help us break the silence and help family and friends support loved ones who have lost a baby.

This week, I chat with Will Rivera II about his five-year journey through recurrent, unexplained pregnancy loss, male factor infertility and why he and his wife decided to start Fertility in Colour – a platform for women and men of colour who are battling recurrent pregnancy loss.In the interview we talk about:Deciding to start a family and Will’s response to their first loss – a missed miscarriage at 8 weeks – and their four further losses (7:48)In the limbo of undiagnosed pregnancy loss and medical testing and struggling to get support from doctors (17:30)The challenges black and brown people face relating to infertility and pregnancy loss and learning to advocate for yourself (26:05)Male factor infertility and why it’s so hard for men to speak out about this (36:15)His experience of grief and why the support men need can differ from the support women need (45:40)Why Will and his wife decided to set up their platform, Fertility in Colour (53:35)You can connect with Will on Instagram @fertilityincolourmen. You can also read his letter to his wife and other mothers on the blog: https://www.fertilityincolour.com/blog.You can find out more about Fertility in Colour on their website (https://www.fertilityincolour.com/), Instagram (@fertilityincolour), YouTube and Facebook.  In the introduction, I talk about a special project close to my heart and how you can help! More details are on the podcast website footprintsonourhearts.com.If you enjoy the podcast and find it helpful, please do leave a rating or review on iTunes or your podcast app.You can connect with me via email alison@footprintsonourhearts.com or get in touch with me on Instagram (https://www.instagram.com/footprintsonourhearts/) or Twitter (https://twitter.com/skyesfootprints).

In Episode 24 of Footprints on our Hearts, I talk to Lucie Thompson whose daughter, Morwenna, was stillborn in September last year at 37 weeks.Many parents worry about the impact of their baby’s death on siblings and we talk a lot in this episode about how Morwenna’s death affected her older sister, Illiya. We also chat about how Lucie has worked through her grief over the past seven months.In the interview, we talk about:Lucie’s previous experience of pregnancy and birth and her pregnancy with Morwenna (4:05)Finding out Morwenna had died and giving birth to her (13:25)The impact of Morwenna’s death on their daughter, Illiya (35:40)Why they chose to have Morwenna cremated (42:47)Channelling her grief into gardening and jewellery making (46:38)You can connect with Lucie on Instagram @luciesheppard and find her jewellery, including the necklace she designed for the baby loss community, on Etsy at My Little Bea Jewellery. Her shop is also on Instagram @mylittlebeajewellery.If you have any feedback on the show, suggestions for guests or would like to share your story, you can connect with me on Instagram (https://www.instagram.com/footprintsonourhearts/), Twitter (https://twitter.com/skyesfootprints) or email alison@footprintsonourhearts.com. If you enjoy the podcast, please leave a rating or review on your podcast app!

In this week’s episode of Footprints on our Hearts, I talk to Crystal-Gayle Williams about her son, Damani and creating a baby loss community in Jamaica.Damani was delivered very prematurely after Crystal-Gayle developed sudden, severe pre-eclampsia and HELLP syndrome and sadly passed away two days after birth. After Damani’s death, Crystal-Gayle searched for a baby loss community in Jamaica and found nothing. So she set one up!In the interview, we talk about:Getting pregnant and her pregnancy (9:35)Developing severe pre-eclampsia and HELLP syndrome and being told she’d have to have an emergency c-section (12:51)Preparing for her surgery, waking up and being unable to see her son (22:55)Finally seeing Damani on the day he died, two days after his birth (26:30)What support she received from the hospital after Damani died and why baby loss is a taboo subject in Jamaica (34:40)Her experience of grief in the early weeks and months and creating 4Damani (40:25)When she first started to speak out about her experience, creating a baby loss community and campaigning to get Jamaica to recognise pregnancy and infant loss awareness month (48:06)You can connect with Crystal-Gayle and learn more about 4Damani on Instagram, Facebook and Twitter or on her website https://4damani.wordpress.com/.I found this conversation with Crystal-Gayle hugely inspiring and I hope that wherever you are in the world and whatever you experience of baby loss, it helps you feel a bit less alone in your grief.If you enjoy the podcast, please leave a rating or review! I do read them, and it helps inspire me to keep putting out these weekly episodes. You can get in touch with me on Instagram (https://www.instagram.com/footprintsonourhearts/) or Twitter (https://twitter.com/skyesfootprints) or email alison@footprintsonourhearts.com.

In Episode 22 of Footprints on our Hearts, I talk to Nick Lang about his daughter Evalyn who was stillborn in November 2016. We talk about grief, connecting with other bereaved fathers and Nick’s experience of pregnancy after loss.In the interview, we discuss:Finding out that their second daughter, Evalyn, had died and Evalyn’s birth (6:24)Breaking the news of Evalyn’s death to their son (19:31)Grieving and struggling with being back at work after Evalyn’s death (27:32)Setting up Sands United Solent and how it’s helped bring grieving dads together (35:37)Running the Great South Run with an empty pushchair with Evalyn’s name in it (41:05)Nick’s experience of pregnancy after loss (50:43)You can find Nick on Instagram @diaryofalossdad and Facebook.If you have any suggestions for guests for the podcast or you’d like to come on to talk about your experience of baby loss and legacy, I’d love to hear from you. As well as talking to parents, I’d love to talk to grandparents, other relatives or friends who’ve been affected by the loss of a child about their experiences. You can email alison@footprintsonourhearts.com or get in touch with me on Instagram (https://www.instagram.com/footprintsonourhearts/) or Twitter (https://twitter.com/skyesfootprints).

This week, I talk to Elle Howe about her daughter, Giorgia, who was stillborn in August 2019. We talk about making memories, support through grief and what her son said to her when they told him his little sister wouldn’t be coming home.In the interview, we talk about:Elle’s pregnancy with Giorgia and finding out her heart had stopped beating (11:15)Breaking the news to her son, Benedict (18:53)Going into hospital to give birth to Giorgia (23:50)Making memories and bringing Benedict to meet his baby sister (29:04)The support they got from friends and family in the weeks following Giorgia’s death and at her funeral (38:32)Milestones during the first year of grief (44:22)Benedict’s awareness of his sister and parenting after loss (50:21)You can connect with Elle on Instagram @elle_howe. In the podcast, we talk about Remember My Baby, a charity who offers a gift of baby remembrance photography to UK parents who lose their baby, and Charlies Angel Centre, a baby loss bereavement support charity in Leeds.In the introduction, I talk about some of the latest research published by Tommy’s into improving pre-eclampsia diagnosis and understanding premature birth. Find out more on their website.If you have any feedback on the show, suggestions for guests or would like to share your story, you can connect with me on Instagram (https://www.instagram.com/footprintsonourhearts/), Twitter (https://twitter.com/skyesfootprints) or email alison@footprintsonourhearts.com. If you enjoy the podcast, please leave a rating or review on your podcast app!

In Episode 20 of Footprints on our Hearts, I talk to Karl, a husband, father and obstetrician about his experience of recurrent miscarriage.Karl is incredibly open and honest about how it took him many years and five miscarriages to accept the emotional aspect of the journey he and his wife have gone through, and be able to grieve the six babies they didn’t get to bring home.In the interview we talk about:Karl’s first experience of miscarriage and his scientific, rational approach to baby loss. (6:30)Recurrent miscarriage following Elijah’s birth and breaking down his ivory tower. (18:30)The impact of recurrent loss and a busy career on his marriage. (34:38)How his experience of loss has fuelled his passion for helping others bring their children into the world. (40:50)Karl’s worries during Emma’s pregnancy with their daughter Ariella. (45:40)Why he chose to raise money for Tommy’s and how cycling helped him address his grief and learn more about himself. (1:04:05)You can find Karl on Instagram @the_ambitious_endurance and Twitter @ambition2endure. He blogs on endurance sports, facing your fears and baby loss on his blog (https://ambitionendurance.wordpress.com/) and is currently fundraising for Tommy’s at https://uk.virginmoneygiving.com/Karl.If you enjoy this episode, please leave a review of the podcast on your podcast app and share it with your friends!

This week’s episode is the second half of my interview with Frankie Brunker, author of the book, These Precious Little People. You can listen to the first part of her story in Episode 17.Frankie’s first child, her daughter, Esme, was stillborn in 2013. Years later, after having two further children, she decided to write the book, These Precious Little People, to help parents talk to children of all ages about baby loss.In the interview, we talk about:Her experience of grief in the early days and weeks. (13:20)How attending her local Sands group helped and searching for answers. (15.47)Battling with self-doubt, shame and guilt (25:26)How her sister incorporated Esme in her children’s lives and the impact of Esme’s death on her nephew. (30:22)Pregnancy after loss, bringing her son home and reminders of Esme (37:40)Talking about Esme with her children. (50:48)Why she decided to write These Precious Little People (1:01:15)You can connect with Frankie on Instagram @thesepreciouslittlepeople and find out more about her book on her website: https://preciouslittlepeople.wixsite.com/preciouslittlepeople/pre-order-a-copy.The best place to buy a copy of These Precious Little People is on the website of Joel The Complete Package, as proceeds go to help support families through pregnancy and parenting after baby loss.In the introduction, I talk about Skye’s first birthday and announce the giveaway winner. I also talk about some of the shocking statistics relating to pregnancy and infant loss and maternal death of black women in the UK.This week, I wanted to give a special shout out to the Sisters in Loss podcast. The podcast has been going for almost 3 years with over 150 black women and men sharing their stories of pregnancy and infant loss and infertility. You can listen to the podcast on your usual podcast app or via the website: https://sistersinloss.com/

In Episode 18 Part 2, I talk about my experiences of grief and depression, the loneliness of baby loss, searching for hope and how we’ve chosen to remember Skye. I also read out the letter I wish I had been able to give myself a year ago, in the weeks following Skye’s death. A letter of reassurance from my future self.This part of the episode is split into four segments:Grief, depression and searching for happiness. (1:48)The impact of loss on friendships and relationships and how the Covid-19 pandemic brought feelings back to the surface. (29:56)Podcasting, fundraising and Skye’s legacy. (49:00)One year on – a letter to my past self. (1:00:55)There's still time to enter Skye's birthday giveaway! Visit my Instagram page or the show notes at www.footprintsonourhearts.com for more information.If you have any feedback on the show, suggestions for guests or would like to share your story, you can connect with me on Instagram (https://www.instagram.com/footprintsonourhearts/), Twitter (https://twitter.com/skyesfootprints) or email alison@footprintsonourhearts.com. If you enjoy the podcast, please leave a rating or review on your podcast app!

No guest this week! Episode 18 is a two-part solo show in which I talk about my daughter, Skye, who was stillborn in 2019 and what I’ve learned during my first year of life after loss.Part 1 of the episode is split into three segments:My pregnancy with Skye, feeling reduced movements and finding out she’d died. (5:43)The “in between time” between finding out she’d died and going into hospital to give birth. (22:35)Skye’s birth. Having to give birth on the main labour ward, feeling numb and not knowing what to do. (32:13)The second part of the podcast deals with grief, loneliness and Skye’s legacy.There's still time to enter Skye's birthday giveaway! Visit my Instagram page or the show notes at www.footprintsonourhearts.com for more information.If you have any feedback on the show, suggestions for guests or would like to share your story, you can connect with me on Instagram (https://www.instagram.com/footprintsonourhearts/), Twitter (https://twitter.com/skyesfootprints) or email alison@footprintsonourhearts.com. If you enjoy the podcast, please leave a rating or review on your podcast app!

This week is the first of a two-part interview with Frankie Brunker, author of the book, These Precious Little People. You can listen to the second half of her story in Episode 19 (airing June 5th).Frankie’s first child, her daughter, Esme, was stillborn in 2013. Years later, after having two further children, she decided to write the book, These Precious Little People, to help parents talk to children of all ages about baby loss.In the interview, we talk about:Their decision to have children and finding out she was pregnant with Esme. (9:27)An early pregnancy scare and memories of her pregnancy. (17:33)Realising that she hadn’t felt Esme move and what she’d been told about reporting reduced movements. (37:55)Finding out her baby had died. (46:46)Struggling with the thought of having to wait to give birth to Esme. (55:40)Other people’s response to Frankie’s pregnancy after losing Esme. (59:40)You can connect with Frankie on Instagram @thesepreciouslittlepeople and find out more about her book on her website: https://preciouslittlepeople.wixsite.com/preciouslittlepeople/pre-order-a-copy.The best place to buy a copy of These Precious Little People is on the website of Joel The Complete Package, as proceeds go to help support families through pregnancy and parenting after baby loss.Frankie has very kindly donated a copy of her book which you can win as part of Skye’s birthday giveaway! Also included in the prize is a gorgeous eco-friendly candle personalised with your baby’s name and a beautiful bookmark.The giveaway is open until midnight (UK time) on June 3rd and you can find details of how to enter by looking for the giveaway post on my Instagram wall - @footprintsonourhearts.If you’re not on Instagram, you can still enter by sharing a link to the podcast with your friends on Facebook (or in a Facebook group) and emailing a screenshot of your post to alison@footprintsonourhearts.com.You can find more details in the full show notes for this episode at https://www.footprintsonourhearts.com. 

In this week’s episode, I chat to Chainie Jackson about her son, Tobias, who was born prematurely in October 2019 and lived for fifty-one days.Talking with Chainie really opened my eyes to what life is like as a parent of a baby in the neonatal intensive care unit (NICU). I’m so grateful she was able to share the story of the highs and lows of Tobias’s short life. It is a heartbreaking story but a beautiful one.In the interview, we talk about:Her pregnancy with Tobias and when they realized something was wrong. (5:16)Life in the NICU during the 51 days of his life. (17:30)What the “Beads of Courage” are and how they gave Chainie hope. (27:16)The first five months of grief – why things get harder, not easier. (35:57)How her Christian faith helped her and brought her peace at the end of Tobias’s life. (44:50)Why she’s chosen to share Tobias’s story. (50:30)You can connect with Chainie on Instagram @puzzlepiecesofmyhe.art and read more about Tobias on her blog: https://puzzlepiecesofmyhe.art.blog/.You can see a photo of Tobias’s Beads of Courage here, and find out more about charity that runs the scheme on the Beads of Courage website.If you enjoy this episode, I would love it if you could share it with a friend or on social media. Please subscribe to get future episodes of the podcast direct to your favourite podcast app and follow me on Instagram for latest news and updates.

In Episode 15, I talk to Georgia Keogh-Horgan whose son, Henry, died of SIDS just two hours after his birth. Because Henry’s death was sudden and unexplained, this triggered a set of legal proceedings including an inquest.In the interview, we talk about:Georgia’s son, Henry, who died hours after birth in October 2017Spending time in a hospice making memories with Henry following his post-mortemPlanning his funeral and why they decided on a woodland burial siteWhy Georgia chose to donate her wedding dress to Cherished GownsHow Henry’s death impacted her experience of giving birth to and looking after, her daughter, Merryn, and the difficulties of balancing parenting a living child and a dead childGeorgia donated her wedding dress to Cherished Gowns, a charity that provides the families of babies who are stillborn, miscarried or pass away shortly after birth with items of clothing that they are able to be dressed in for their funeral.After Merryn’s birth, they were loaned an apnoea monitor by the Lullaby Trust to monitor Merryn’s breathing as part of the charity's support to bereaved parents when they have another baby.You can connect with Georgia on Instagram @_abcdefgeorg and read more about Henry on her blog: https://heyworlditshenry.com/.Please help me raise awareness of all forms of baby loss by recommending the podcast to friends and family or sharing on social media. Together, we can break the silence.

In Episode 14 of Footprints on our Hearts, I talk to Lucy about her experiences of miscarriage and infertility and why she set up the Rainbow Running Club and Rainbow Yoga Club.As this episode goes out, Lucy is currently hosting online midweek mindfulness sessions and has just launched the Rainbow Reading Club.In the interview, we talk about:Lucy’s experience of miscarriage and infertility, including the impact on her life and friendships and the challenges of IVF (11:39)Being pregnant and grieving a “normal” pregnancy (34:38)The emotional impact of further loss (39:42)Discovering running and how the Rainbow Running Club was born (47:05)How she’s expanded the Rainbow Running Club and taken events online (54:10)And I ask Lucy the most important question of all – what her favourite cake is!You can connect with Lucy and find out more about the Rainbow Running and Yoga Club on Instagram @_mother_of_one_ and on the website https://www.rainbowrunningclub.co.uk/. All information on the online events can be found on Lucy’s Instagram account.If you have any suggestions for guests for the podcast or you’d like to come on to talk about your experience of baby loss and legacy, I’d love to hear from you. As well as talking to parents, I’d love to talk to grandparents, other relatives or friends who’ve been affected by the loss of a child about their experiences. You can email alison@footprintsonourhearts.com or get in touch on me on Instagram (https://www.instagram.com/footprintsonourhearts/) or Twitter (https://twitter.com/skyesfootprints).

My guest this week is Kate Breen, mother to Isobel, who was stillborn in 2016, and Bruce. I met Kate at our local Sands group where she’s leading a project to create a new memorial garden as a space for parents to go to remember their children.In the interview, we talk about:Finding out her first child, her daughter Isobel, had died at full term (9:38)Isobel’s birth and Kate’s decision to donate her breast milk (16:16)Kate and her husband’s decision to organise a large funeral (34:44)The impact of Isobel’s death on her parents who live in Texas (40:15)Why she chose to stay in touch with the NCT friends she’d made when pregnant with Isobel (44:55)How gardening helped her through maternity leave and the spaces she’s helped create for others to remember their babies (50:11)During the interview, Kate mentions the leaflet Sands produced for grandparents, which her parents found useful. This is part of their online support pack which you can download here: https://www.sands.org.uk/support/bereavement-supportIn the podcast intro, I mention National Infertility Awareness week and the midweek mindfulness session run by Lucy @_mother_of_one that I found really useful as a mental reset this week. Lots of small charities including baby loss charities are struggling right now, so if you want to do something positive this week, please give them a shout out, donation or other form of support.You can email alison@footprintsonourhearts.com or get in touch on me on Instagram (https://www.instagram.com/footprintsonourhearts/) or Twitter (https://twitter.com/skyesfootprints). If you enjoy the podcast, please leave a rating or review!

This week, I chat to Hayley Bennett Stanley about her son, Ike, the rollercoaster of grief and why she chose to run a marathon in his memory.Ike was born in August 2019 and I’m really grateful to Hayley for coming on the podcast to share his story and her experiences just eight months after his death.In the interview, we talk about:Getting pregnant and relaxing into her pregnancy (6:55)Experiencing bleeding and finding out Ike had died at 26 weeks (15:00)The waiting time and giving birth to Ike (23:09)The ups and downs of grief and what Hayley and her husband decided to do on Ike’s due date (38:14)How she feels grief prepared her for dealing with the current coronavirus pandemic (48:47)Running a marathon solo when her event was cancelled (54:53)If you find the podcast useful, I’d really appreciate reviews on iTunes or other podcast apps and please help me spread the word by sharing the episode on your favourite social media channels.If you’d like to get in touch with me, you can message me on Instagram (https://www.instagram.com/footprintsonourhearts/) or Twitter (https://twitter.com/skyesfootprints) or email alison@footprintsonourhearts.com.