Little Detours

Miracles sometimes wear disguises. They're tucked in the ordinary and mundane parts of life that we might want to skip. Or they come right when you're ready to give up on you or someone else. Don't quit before the miracle happens.Years ago, I was asked to help a boy who had all sorts of disabilities. I volunteered to help him. It turns out he helped me more. He taught me not to quit. He was my miracle.

It doesn't matter what has happened to you, it matters what you do with what has happened to you. Life is like a poker game, you don't get to choose the cards dealt to you, but it's entirely up to you how you play them.You get to decide what you're worth, how you matter and how you make meaning in this world. No one else has your gifts, You are an original. A masterpiece. Act like it. Live like it.

When was the last time you got angry at God? Most of us are too afraid to.God wants an authentic, honest relationship with us. It's human to experience anger and frustration, even at God. At some point in life, we all struggle with life, with the deaths of those we love, with misfortunes and confusion and heartaches that sometimes seem endless.There's no wrong way to pray. Just speak from the heart. You don't have to understand God to pray. God understands you.

You don't have to take a giant leap or complete a five-year plan or an Excel spreadsheet. Just take the next right step.What it is? It's beneath all those 19 other steps that have you paralyzed into procrastination.If you're feeling overwhelmed and don't know where to start, pause, pray for clarity and proceed with the next right step. The next step is usually clear, but we look too far down the road at all the other steps we don't want to take or don't know how to take and end up doing nothing.Once you take the next right step, the small one that IS clear, then the step after that becomes clear, and the next and so on.

Our job as survivors of cancer and other big detours in life is to bear witness, to share our experience to lighten the load for others, to carry the torch of hope to all who need a light in their darkness. Once you've had cancer, you never know if you're cured forever, so you live the hell out of the day you are in, this big, beautiful, glorious day, and give thanks for being alive to see it unfold.

Make your life a prayer. Not a quest for more money, awards, popularity, achievements, praise or fame. A Jesuit priest used to offer this simple statement to everyone he counseled: “God is the answer. Now what was your question?” The solution to every problem is more God. More love. More joy. More peace.

Saints aren't perfect super-human beings who wear halos. Saints are people who know how much God loves them.To know that fully means you live without demands on others for time, attention, gifts and constant reminders that you are loved. You are loved by the Source of all Love. It's a radical, extravagant love that completely fills you up. Saints can see God hidden in the rest of us.

Give birth to the person you want to be right now. Go look in the mirror and fall in love with that beautiful child of God looking back at you.Every day you have a chance to be reborn, to give birth to yourself, to choose joy.

We all have an inner critic. They key is, do you let it run — and ruin — your life?You, the soul, spiritual You, have the power to change your thoughts. You also have the power to ignore them, replace them or release them.

Real faith isn't praying without ceasing. It's believing that God heard you the first time.When you pray like you mean it, you believe God heard you the first time. You ask, then you pause and receive your answer, without any proof. You trust that your prayer was heard, that once you hit the Send button, it arrived and you don't have to keep pounding on the keyboard to deliver it.The next time you pray, pause and acknowledge that you have complete confidence in a God who loves you. That God will give you “this, or something better.”

You have all the answers you will ever need. They're inside of you. How do you access them? Consult your own soul.Too many of us run around interviewing friends and family and strangers for the answers we need.To really hear the wisdom within, you have to take time away from the noise and stay silent and listen. When you consult your soul, it will say “Yes” or “No” loud and clear.

How do you put the oxygen mask on yourself?First, you give yourself permission to do so. The care and feeding of you is up to you and no one else.Take back the remote control of your life. Own it. Your time is your time. Don't give yourself away so there's nothing left of you for you. Before you give any of your time away, ask what you're trading in for it. Is it worth the trade?Put the oxygen mask on yourself first, and everyone around you will breathe a little easier, too.

The secret of life is no secret. It's sprinkled all over your life.The secret of life is to find God in the present moment. If you do that, you'll discover the secret of life is no secret.It's a baggy pair of overalls. Poems by Mary Oliver. Music by Louis Armstrong. Chocolate by Godiva. And so, so much more.It's celebrating what already is, right here, right now.

There's an old saying: If you're five minutes early, you're on time. If you're on time, you're late and if you're late, you're fired.Being late causes stress for you and everyone else.After being late most of my life, now I'm almost always early. I add a little extra time to drive anywhere so I don't risk getting a speeding ticket or fueling anyone's road rage. Arrive early and you've scheduled in room to breathe.Instead of being predictably late, arrive early and be the one everyone can count on.

Whatever you put your personal magnifying glass on grows. So why not put it on the good?A beautiful soul named Larry Petrus taught me that. He saw and magnified the good in every stranger he met.Whatever you focus on grows, so train yourself to magnify the good in the marriage you have, the house you have, the job you have, the family you have, the body you have. When you practice seeing the good and the God in everyone, and you'll see it more often than you ever imagined.

We all judge ourselves too harshly when it comes to doing our best. We raise the bar too high, setting it at perfection, and give ourselves a failing grade for anything that falls short of that.A beautiful teacher named JoAnn Hollis taught me that even at our worst, our work can still be a great gift to others. It's not ours to judge, just to complete.

No one should climb a career ladder alone. Carry someone else up as you make the ascent. Empower others to be their best selves and you make the world better for everyone. Whatever career ladder you're headed up, take someone with you.

The most quoted rule for Book Clubs is this: You do not talk about Book Club. Okay, so a Book Club shouldn't feel like Fight Club, but there are rules to follow. You read just one book at a time. Conversations go on as long as they need to. If it's your first night at Book Club, you have to talk.Find out how to create the best book club and read the best books. And remember, What happens in book club, stays in book club.

How many pages do you give a book before you stop reading? I give a book 40 pages. If it doesn't make my Wow Meter go wild, I stop reading.No boring books. I don't read anything that feels like homework. That's one of Regina's Rules for Reading. Listen to the rest of them, like: Agree to disagree: Just because everyone else likes a book doesn't mean you will. Take “Ulysses.” Please, take it!

A library card is a passport to the world. It will take you anywhere in the world. With a library, you don't need a passport to go to Peru. You don't need airfare to tour the Mediterranean. You don't need reservations to travel the Riviera.If you can't afford a vacation, the library is your vacation. If you need a job, the library offers limitless opportunities to craft your resume, learn new skills or build your confidence.A library isn't a luxury, it's a lifeline.

When you become a first-time dog owner, it helps to adopt the motto: Overprepare and go with the flow.And yes, that might mean the flow of dog pee all over your living room floor.

Naming a dog isn't easy. Who actually decides? Me? My husband? Our three grandkids? Their parents? This was going to be a family dog, so all 7 of us were in on the choosing.There are so many things to consider when naming a dog, especially when you've never had a dog and you're 64 and it's probably the only dog you're ever going to have in your life. A dog's name can't be one that's embarrassing to scream at the top of your lungs when it runs away, so Poopsy Pie, Sprinkles and Mister Snuggles were out. Find out what we chose and how, and steal from our list of the great names we didn't choose.

I’m not a dog person. So why is there a giant dog crate in the corner of my living room?Blame the grandkids. All three of them. Grandkids have a way of cracking open your heart. And that’s what happened. My heart cracked open.During the pandemic, the grandkids were begging for pet and settled on a gerbil. Then one day our 9-year-old granddaughter announced, “I don’t know why we’re talking gerbils when we should be talking puppies.”That was the moment. Our hearts opened wide to a pandemic puppy.Listen to Part 1 of our journey to create a generation of dog lovers. It’s the story of how two non-dog lovers became pet people to transform their family forever into dog people.It all started with the decision to love one puppy for life. And oh, what a life changer it has been.

Elton John was right. “Sorry” seems to be the hardest word. Why is it so hard to give an apology?Most people don’t know how to apologize. We’re all pretty clumsy at it. We say, “If I offended you, I’m sorry.” Or, “Sorry you feel that way.” Or, say “I owe you an apology” yet never give one.An apology includes the words, “I’m sorry.” Those two words can repair and right a relationship forever. No one likes to admit they’re wrong, but we’re all wrong some of the time. And sometimes our wrongs hurt others.

Albert Einstein said if he had an hour to solve a problem and his entire life depended upon the solution, he’d spend the first 55 minutes asking the right questions.Do you believe the Universe is a friendly place? What is the kindest thing to do right now? If today were the last day of my life, would I want to do what I am about to do today? Apple founder Steve Jobs urged people to ask themselves that question, and if the answer was “No,” then change your life.Discover the power of asking the right questions.

What’s on your Bucket List? It’s a list of all the things you want to experience before you “kick the bucket.” Things to try before you die. It’s the opposite of homework. Instead of focusing on your life’s work, you focus on your life’s play and make sure you live your big adventure here.When you turn your Bucket List into a Bucket Life, everyone benefits from what’s on your list.

People say “get out of your comfort zone.” Sometimes you actually need to climb into it, get cozy and savor it.You can create a Comfort Zone out of your favorite chair, a nightstand or a corner of a room. You just need a spot that is all yours that brings you a measure of peace where you can reboot and restore your life.

We could all benefit from professional help. Getting counseling might be the best thing you ever do for yourself.If you were broken and bruised from childhood abuse or neglect, or sexually abused as a teenager or young adult, you don’t have to keep tiptoeing around the minefield of your past to avoid explosions of shame, anger and rage. You don’t have to feel desperate and hungry and lost your whole life.There is joy on the other side of all that pain. Find it.

You are beautiful. When was the last time you looked in the mirror and believed it?Too often we are our own worst enemies. Some of the meanest things said about us are said by us. We need to honor our bodies, no matter what size or shape or age we are, and believe this truth about ourselves: we are beautiful, as is, right now.

With one daily act of kindness, you could change the world. So why don’t you?Imagine if we all said, did, posted, shared, clicked and liked only content that was kind. We could start a revolution. Let’s do it!

True surrender is to love it all. Everything.The mosquito. The ex-husband. The barking dog. The traffic. The weather. Even growing old. Especially growing old.Plan a birthday extravaganza to celebrate every age you are. Release all your hostages. Be free of all you have built to protect you from the world. The secret isn’t to build a wider moat or to be a fiercer dragon or to build thicker walls or tougher skin. The secret is to believe at the deepest core of your being that your soul is unhurtable.Because it is.

A first class life requires first first class relationships. Is it time for an upgrade?Your life can and should be full of vibrant, conscious people who love and support you and are a joy to be around.Learn to tame the takers. Bless them, release them and change you.

Are you living the life your soul wants you to have?Most of us waste a lot of energy and squander our joy minding other people’s business and neglecting our own. How do you mind your own soul? Meditate daily. Pause through the day to center. Release drama addicts from your life. Remind yourself often, Not my circus, not my monkeys.

You might be too old to crawl into a lap to hear a good story, but you’re never too old to read yourself a great children’s book. Artist and illustrator Karen Sandstrom talks about her favorite children’s books. The former book editor for the Cleveland Plain Dealer owns hundreds of children’s books. On her Facebook page she spotlights a weekly favorite.You know the kind, where you know every line by heart because the books leave an imprint on your heart, one that lasts forever.

The bombing in Bali turned Sophie Sureau into her own superhero. She was burned and buried under the rubble in two explosions that killed 202 and wounded 300 during the terrorist attack of Oct. 12, 2002.She regained consciousness when she felt people walking on her back to escape the carnage. Her choice was to burn to death or get up. Sophie turned herself into the Incredible Hulk to survive, fleeing the scene with skin hanging from her body.

We’ve all experienced someone say, “Shame on you!” Well, shame OFF you. Shame off everybody.That shame isn’t yours, so don’t carry it for the parents or nuns or teachers or siblings or strangers who dumped it on you.

Cleveland Criminal Defense lawyer Ian N. Friedman got a new grip on life after he lost his arm in a motorcycle accident.That moment he hit the guardrail and flew 100 feet has been with him every day since June 17, 2011. The metal tore through his neck and severed the nerves to his arm. He calls it the best thing that happened to him.

If you’ve ever felt too bruised to love, you’re not alone. Some of us were born bruised. But the truth is we were born whole and worthy of love.We often look for the love our life everywhere but in the mirror. Once you can look in the mirror, say to yourself, “I love you,” and truly believe it, you are better able to love others and to heal the world.

“No” is such a tiny word, but it’s the gateway to saying “yes!” to you and your life. The word “no” is your guardian and a gift you give yourself. When you say “yes” you are giving away not just your time, but your life, because your time IS your life.

Hal Becker was diagnosed with terminal cancer when he was 28. Instead of killing him, it made him eternally grateful — for the next 38 years.Hal made a vow to have fun back in 1982, and he has kept it every day since.

“We” just might be the most powerful word in the dictionary. “We” can topple a government. “We” can conquer cancer. “We” can fly to the moon and back. Find out how to become a Guardian of the Galaxy and grow your ‘we.’

The survivors of Apartheid taught the Rev. Mark Simone to choose goodness over happiness, to elevate others and to remember that joy is the heart of the human soul.Mark talks about white privilege and how to validate others and about the liver transplant that saved his life.

Foster child. Alcoholic. Marine. Vietnam War vet. Cancer survivor. Glenn Proctor survived it all with grace, gratitude and grit. He offers tips on how to carry your own water, get your life out of first gear and believe and love the person you see in the mirror every day.

One word. That’s all it takes to change your life. But which word?Instead of making resolutions to change everything in your life, just choose one word. It could be Hope, Faith, Savor, Bask, Dance or Be. Find out how to choose one word to be your compass point, your North Star, your X on the target of life.

During this pandemic, we could all use a little more hope. Where do you find hope? In the kindness of strangers. In Psalm 43. In Van Gogh blue skies. In nature, which never loses hope. Tips for finding hope and hanging on to it.

If you want to give a child sweet dreams, give a child a bed.As Exec. Dir. of Cleveland Furniture Bank, Tom Gaghan has given beds to 8, 500 children who once slept on the floor or a couch.He was downsized after 31 years with C.E.I. Then he lost half of his I.R.A. in a stock market slide. Tom found a new career and helped launch the Cleveland Furniture Bank,

So many books, so little time. The pandemic has given us the gift of time. Suzanne DeGaetano can help you choose the right book for you and for those you love.

Grief needs an exit ramp.Grief comes in waves, some gentle, some with the force of a tsunami. The deeper you loved, the larger the grief.Give grief an exit ramp through tears, talking, writing and sharing stories with others.

As a music therapist, Sarah Maxwell comforts the sick and dying. She shares what the dying have taught her about how to live, love and comfort yourself.

Katie O’Toole Smith and Regina share their tips on how to make gratitude a daily practice so that what you already have is always more than enough.

How do you write a book? Write one clear sentence, then another, then another. But first, find your why, and the words will flow.