Modern Aged Middle Life

Emily and Graham explore all things royal for this Platinum Jubilee episode. Who'd have thought that the royal carpets are swept? Whether it's the Queen's first email, or borrowing her elephant, no stone is unturned.  Are you  a shuffler? Do you like the same cake as HM? Find out in this episode!

How do! How do you fancy a sugar sandwich? Or perhaps you're more a chip sandwich instead? Do people have dripping anymore? All those things you had as a child and the things your parents had that you thought was elegant, that in hindsight may not have been. Pimm's on the lawn fabulous, Pimm's in a back alley, not so glam. Come on a flavour trip down memory lane. 

Exotic pets. Fancy a liger or an emu running round your house? Why do we want exotic pets and why in America do they keep losing them? Join us to discuss this hot topic and yes we do mention the Tiger King. 

Does retirement exist? Will we ever retire? Why is there so much sex in retirement villages? Graham explores why he receives so many invitations to care homes and what the future holds. As always the MAML's come up with the best care home ever and lets just say there is a human Scalextric for hospital beds. 

Is today a doings day? Do it yourself! Do you? How about a tinker in the garage? Whether your boarding the loft or fixing up a bike - some are more capable than others. You don't want to feel incapable, but then you don't want to call a builder in just to put up a shelf. You too could be DIY man. 

Exercise fads - Jane Fonda, weighted hula hoops or shoes with springs on. Keep fit crazes.Is it that we just want a quick fix to fitness? Why can't I lose weight watching tv and eating Maltesers? In this episode we come up with a better way to keep fit whilst enjoying a Victoria sponge. 

Are there jobs such as wedding guest? Whose dream job is rodding drains? First jobs are always a bit ropey, so let's explore the job market today and see if there are other career options. 

You know when you find suddenly your window sill is filled with pigs, or your cupboards have Care Bears in them? I know it happens to us all. This episode we realise how much rubbish we collect and have no idea if we are collecting rubbish or childhood trauma. Enjoy middle aged collectibles or just the rubbish you bring on the ride of life. 

How would you run your country? As a world leader would you take your own bins out? Do world leaders pick up after their dogs? Welcome to the world of Incontinentia where you get free chips on Tuesday and we have secret service bin men. Join us in our madness.

Wonders of the world. What are they? Do they change? Are there any original wonders left? Or have they been turned into an aaah rather than an oooh? In this episode we explore what a middle aged wonder would be, such as reading a menu in a restaurant. 

How do we know if the news is actually telling us the truth? With technology and social media you can start a rumour and do some genuine damage before people find out. Covid has accelerated the rumours - I know I have grown a third arm after my jab - honest. Is it true? Is it rubbish? Is it Covid or Cooooovid?

Who was up on your teenage bedroom wall? Did you have someone you aspired to be or fantasised about? Pamela Anderson, Roger Moore, Keanu Reeves, Maggie Thatcher. What ever floats your boat. In this episode we explore our crushes and how different they can be.

Valentines day. The day when if your with someone you dig out a plastic rose and serenade your loved one over candle light, or if your single you eat a family size dairy milk. Do you feel pressure over Valentines? Is it a cunning plan to sell cards or is their a genuine opportunity to make someone feel special? You'll always be special to us.

Are you the parent you thought you would be? Parenting is a big step, and what we thought it would be like and the reality involves a lot more vomit. What makes a good childhood and as we get older do we have idealised versions?

Don't you love glittery dusticals? Or you may know it as snow. Snow is magical as well as wet and cold. Do you still get excited by snow? or are you happy to spectate from inside? Adults and snow is a mix of fun and fear. Who owns snow and what are your legal rights if someone steals your snow from your car?

Can you pull off an accent? The UK is such a small country but has some of the most amazing regional accents that are loved across the world. In this episode we explore the regions - not well I hasten to add. Apologise to any regions offended - which is all.

Resolutions for 2021 - go out perhaps! Grahams resolutions for 2021 will help you feel - well, better about yourself. Let us give you some options that will open your eyes (blinking properly), and freshen your perspective. Close your eyes and you could be on that holiday you've rescheduled twice with a couple of mates. Escape the kids.

Merry Covid Christmas! Let's look at the positives of a Covid Christmas. No unwanted relatives, no hoovering and you don't have to share the quality street. Whatever happened to Round Robin's and glitter cards? You know the ones that cover your carpet with mounds of glitter. Slightly extended Christmas edition - oh er Mrs. Originally played on Brooklands Radio on the 25th of December 2020.

As hope is in sight and we may eventually be able to meet up again in 2021, we want to remind ourselves of good dinner party etiquette. Are you prepared for a direct social interaction in the future? Let's remind ourselves of what it's like to chat to people face to face, and the do's and don'ts of dinner table chat.

In the second part of our gender discovery session - code for just being nosey, we find out what it is like to be a woman? What is voting like? Why don't more women do Formula One? Is hair and make up essential? Sit back, put your lady feet up, and enjoy.

As a woman Emily has never wanted to be a man, but there are questions about men that need to be answered. In this episode we dig into the depths of being a man from growing a beard, to Mens Bits. A must listen for any trainee men or inquisitive females.

Thank you. A phrase not used as often as it should be. Gratitude. Are you good at showing it? Can you be too grateful? Can you hug a tradesperson that has gone above and beyond or would that be sexual harassment? Oh and a huge thank you to all our wonderful listeners for sticking with us and laughing along to our silliness. We are grateful to you, for being you!

Are you losing it stuck at home with nothing to do but scooter round the living room? Do you find that simple tasks like walking the dog become a challenge? This Covid thing is making us all go a bit odd in the head - which is exactly what happened in this weeks episode. Emily and Graham lost it. No squids were harmed in the making of this nonsense.

Do you believe in Magic? Have you been sawn in half? Or can you make items disappear?If you want time to disappear, then join us to discuss the true spirit of Magic and the essence of illusion. Disappearing beliefs and disappearing wine bottles with a hint of optimism.

What does it mean to be British? Do you consider yourself to be British? Is it English traditions of tea on the lawn, the royal family or is the different cultures that make up the melting pot of the UK? This week we investigate further and find out that Grahams mother would get rid of hawkers by saying "There's no one in" as she opened the door.

Time. Some days we have lots of it and other times it slips through our fingers. Surely time is the most precious thing we have, yet we are forever giving it away. In this episode we discuss wasting time, and how Auntie Sheila wished time had gone faster the day she spent with Emily. Or how Graham's grand parents took pity on him and gave him butterfly cards to collect to fill his time - and make sure he never got a friend again.

What is our obsession with murder and serial killers? The most popular shows on Netflix are about serial killers so in this episode Emily and Graham explore the world of serial killers and the difficulties in getting rid of a corpse, subtly. We even get some statistics in order to avoid being murdered by a generically profiled murderer.

We all love a good birthday, but do you prefer giving or receiving? Are you frightened to get gifts from your friends in case they are gardening sets? As you get older birthdays become different, gone is the excitement of opening a My Little Pony stable (Graham's) and here comes hand cream. How can we get that childish fun back again - by drinking and pretending it's not happening.

Don't you hate it when people brag about things? Is it intentional or just annoying? Don't miss this episode as Graham tells a story about "leggy the cockroach hunter" and Emily comes up with a unique way to save money by burying yourself in your expensive speakers. Don't forget to subscribe so you don't miss an episode.

In this special live episode the MAML team drive super cars at Dunsfold Aerodrome. Well Emily does, Graham mainly has a cup of coffee in a lay-by. Aston Martins, Mclarens and the Top Gear Test Track - what could possibly be more middle aged.

Can you remember what you're doing here? You're going to listen to the latest episode of Modern Aged Middle Life - so you can laugh at the fact you forget things from time to time. Have you ever taken a memory walk or use tricks to remember things? Modern life encourages you not to remember as we have tools that do directions and facts for us, so we can be excused for missing your husbands birthday.

What is the difference between a surprise and a shock? Are surprises still exciting as you get older? Or do you associate surprises with something horrible? Good, bad or indifferent surprises are something we think we look forward to and actually don't really enjoy. Perhaps we just enjoy watching others receive them, from a safe distance. We will be launching World leader Wrestling on gaming systems soon. Copyright pending.

The human body is so clever in so many ways, but does do things that are rather annoying and unpleasant. In this episode we explore the parts of the body that upset us. Sweating, earwax, hair everywhere - and bodily functions.

Why do we need male and female pronouns? Anyone else confused by why we need different words for the male and female versions of things? Surely we should all be the same. In this episode we concatenate elements together and show we know words like concatenate. Doctor or Doctoress, Mam, Mrs or Mr. You decide.

What type of drunk are you? Happy drunk, sleepy drunk, techie drunk, or a gremlin drunk. Do you come alive when you've had a drink or pass out? In this episode we investigate what type of drunks Graham and Emily are - including the student years! Warning - some of this is quite disgusting and rather embarrassing.

Lockdown is starting to get to us and making us fed up - so in this episode we try and cheer up the nation. Out of desperation Emily Googled "Cheer me up!" only to be faced with a list of nonsense. Enjoy the nonsense and embrace the madness of lock down with our cheer you up facts.

As the world economy falls to pieces we discuss the origins of money and whether or not you can still trade your wife. From swapping carrots to the invention of paper money, in this whistle stop tour we ask if we can return to the tally stick and trust system? Or perhaps using your card might be slightly less bulky.

Do you become a keen gardener because you become middle aged? Do you know your clematis from your chrysanthemums? Lockdown has given us more time to get into the garden, so what do we do when we are there? In this episode we investigate our gardening prowess and whether or not you should sweep your lawn.

Food! It is our lifeblood, we over eat it and we enjoy it, especially during lockdown! What would your last meal on earth be? In this episode Emily and Graham explore their own personal last suppers and what would be their final meal on earth. All episodes are also available on Brooklands Radio.

Bad haircuts, competitive eating and generally letting standards slip - welcome to lockdown. Graham and Emily discuss the challenges of keeping busy during lockdown including taking up swing ball and breaking fingers. Have you been entertaining yourself with Joe Wicks and Gary Barlow? Oooh Gary Barlow.

What was the last product you were lured in to buy? Where does our need for useless tech come from? Emily and Graham explore the desire for novelty from the age of the Speak and Spell and Wind up Radio to the more modern domestic assistance and lights for the back of TV's. Grab your thermal coffee mug and dig in.

Please note this was recorded when life was normal and we could go out!http://thewinemakersclub.co.ukGraham and Emily escaped the studio to find out more about wine. Why do more people get into wine as they get middle aged? Do you know a chablis from a chardonnay? How drunk did these two get?

If you thought your first date was bad, listen to these two clowns. Grahams date ate the centre piece on the table and Emily was on a date with Mr Right, who couldn't be more wrong. Listen to the dating disasters that our two comics faced and how they overcame dating awkwardness. Please note this episode was recorded before Covid.

All middle aged people want to drive sports cars and go to garden centres. In this episode we look at stereotypes and why we are not quite ready for a bath with a door in it yet. We address the bits that hurt about being middle aged, but also the fun bits - like the option of becoming a coffin tester. Please note this episode was recorded before Covid.

Welcome to the world of Covid 19. In every crisis you need to try to see the funny side, it's one of the best parts of being British. Tune in and give yourself a break. You are not alone - even if you are in isolation. Put aside the toilet roll, stop making pasta shapes and relax with some hand soap to discuss this changing world.

Is Cleanliness next to godliness? Are you someone who allows smells not to interfere with their day, or do you create them? From the laid back cleaner to searching hotel rooms with a UV light - in the first episode of the Second Season - MAMLs look at cleanliness in all its glory.

What's the best and worst gift you've ever received? Graham's last minute shopping might be a bad idea, especially when the Fire Brigade get involved. Was Emily traumatised with the childhood musical cake slicer? In this episode we explore all things Christmas.

Have you ever bumped into someone and can't remember where you know them from? Yes, we've all done that - but I bet you didn't invite them to your house! Social media means we can keep in touch with people from school years after the event, but in this episode we look at the perils of what can happen if you're as trusting as Emily is. Listen for Graham's disbelieve.

Do you believe in Aliens? Do you think there is life on other planets? Are robots trying to take our jobs? In this episode we discuss whether or not an indoor water slide would attract aliens to invade.

Do you love or hate a board game? Are you a Cluedo conspirator? Do board games fill you with dread? Emily hates bored games - a lot. Graham still thinks a game involves conkers. In this episode we explore why we love some games and hate others. The games of our youth versus those we have to dust off over Christmas.

Have you ever thought about how personal a cup of tea is? Or bought a treat that disappointed you? This week we look at the personal nature of drinks and emptying the dishwasher.