Self Care and Soul Care for the Caregiver with Sandra Peoples

This is episode 89, and today we're catching up and talking about what's ahead!

In today's episode, Lauren shares a life update about her one word for 2022 accompanied by an announcement. May this be an encouragement to you about refocusing, surrendering, and receiving unexpected, new beginnings.

In this week's episode, Lauren is joined by her husband, Brock, for a conversation about marriage and disability parenting. They discuss intimacy, grief, and the challenges that continual exhaustion and stress tend to have on a marriage. Brock and Lauren open up about their struggles and share the hope they have found in Jesus through all the ups and downs.

In this episode, Lauren and Sandra talk about the caregiving community they have found through social media. It seems harder and harder to connect with other special needs moms in real life but easier and easier to connect online. These internet friendships provide real support and encouragement in our hardest seasons. We can celebrate that while keeping social media boundaries that make our time on social media worth it!

Especially in light of the changes so many of us are experiencing through the pandemic. How do we live at the intersection of what we enjoy doing as a vocation and what we have to do to make a certain amount of money or keep a flexible schedule? And if we don't love the jobs we do, how can we still feel fulfilled?

In this episode, Lauren shares her experience with Caregiver Burnout and how she is currently recovering from it. This episode is not about how to prevent burnout or a guide on recovering from it. Rather, the purpose of this episode is to encourage you and give you hope that you are not alone in managing the stress, anxiety, and exhaustion of caregiving. Lauren shares what God did that she could not throughout her journey and gives hope for your heart to hold onto.

In order to make room for all God has planned for us in 2022, we need to say no to some things we've been holding on to. Listen as Lauren and Sandra share what they won't do in 2022 and pray about what God is leading you to say no to as well!

This week I (Sandra) had an appointment with my therapist. It was the first appointment I've had since November, so we had a lot to talk about. I thought it would be helpful to share the kinds of things I talk to her about to help take a little of the mystery out of it if you've been thinking about whether visiting a therapist would be helpful for you. Shownotes: http://www.abidingcaregiver.com

As they are working with our kids, doctors and therapists often help us as parents as well! In today's episode, Sandra and Lauren share lessons they have learned from their kids' therapists that they are applying to their own goal setting in the new year. If you're feeling overwhelmed about setting goals this year, listen in and be encouraged.

As we wrap up 2021, it's time to look ahead to 2022! One way we do this is picking "one word" for the new year. In this episode, Sandra and Lauren walk through their processes for picking one word, including reflecting on what God has done this year and talking about what we hope He will do in the new year. There's also an invitation to join Sandra, Lauren, and their friends at the One Word for 2022 online conference! Listen to the episode to learn more and get a code for $5 off the conference ticket price!

Advent began last Sunday, November 28th. In today's show, Lauren shares how Advent integrates into our special stewardship journey and why it is actually the solution we need for this season. Listen in as she shares what her son really wanted, but she could not give him and what happened next.

This is episode 78, and today our Lauren and Sandra are talking about hosting the holidays as a caregiving family. Together they share genuine challenges they have faced in the past and tips for not only surviving the holidays but enjoying them.

This is episode 77, and today we're talking about putting everything on auto pilot. We talk a lot about decision fatigue on the podcast and in our Facebook group. So we know that eliminating the number of decisions we make is helpful in making life go smoother for our families. But there are seasons when you need to take that up a notch—when you need as many decisions and routines as possible to be on auto pilot. There are lots of reasons when just doing the next thing is all you have the energy to do. So let's talk about how to set ourselves up for that kind of season so we can still care for our families and abide in Christ.

In episode 76, Sandra and Lauren share gift ideas they think you will love as much as they do! Whether you're making a list of ideas for someone else to buy for you or looking for gift ideas for others, they have you covered. In the episode you'll hear ten gift ideas they love for abiding caregivers. And in the show notes at abidingcaregiver.com, they also share ideas for husbands and kids. Sandra and Lauren have you and your family members covered when it's time to start making those gift lists!

This is episode 75 and in today's episode, Lauren holds space for those carrying spiritual pain with them throughout the holiday season. Caring for our souls includes acknowledging and processing the spiritual pain that accompanies the caregiving journey and is elevated during this time of year. Listen in as Lauren offers honesty, compassion, truth, and hope for your heart this holiday season.

This is episode 074, and today we're talking about rest during the busy holiday season. Three big holidays are coming, jammed into an already busy work-ministry-family schedule. The dots on my Google calendar are multiplying like a mogwai when he gets wet (pre-gremlin stage). But this year I want to remember one big lesson from last year about the most important thing that usually gets left off the to do list—rest! Find the shownotes here: abidingcaregiver.com

October kicks off three months of big holidays—Halloween, Thanksgiving, and Christmas. But for caregiving families, these holidays can also kick off a season of unmet expectations and unfulfilled goals. In today's episode, Sandra and Lauren talk through how they have learned to create holiday traditions that work for their unique families. Their advice will help you celebrate the holidays with more grace for yourself, your kids, and your extended family.

This is episode 72 and in today's episode, Lauren shares 3 ways we can care for our souls! With the new routines and various commitments the fall season ushers in, it is easy to forget to care for our souls which leads to feeling overwhelmed and discouraged. However, there are some simple ways we can prioritize our spiritual health that will help us flourish! 

In today's episode, Sandra and Lauren talk about the struggles they are having adjusting to a new and very full fall routine! Lauren is juggling therapy appointments, Sandra is juggling work and ministry commitments, and it all feels like too much some days! They share practical ideas that help, but their big focus is on how God sustains us through changing seasons as we abide in Him.

Sandra shares five self care routines for fall!

After a break for the summer, host Sandra Peoples is back and has big changes to share, including introducing Lauren D. Crow at the new cohost. Get to know Lauren in this episode!

This is episode 68, and today I'm talking about our summer plans! I'll share what each one of us has planned and how we're making decisions on what our priorities need to be. With the world opening up, we have to be careful not to overextend ourselves in a rush to do all the things again! But we also want to enjoy summer as much as possible. Hopefully we can do both! On June 25 & 26, I'll be speaking at By the Brook, a refreshing weekend just for moms, grandmothers, and female caregivers of individuals with special needs & chronic illness. This event includes encouragement, inspiration, dynamic worship, and powerful teaching—all while spending quality time with other moms who “get it.” Visit https://www.risingaboveministries.org/bythebrook for more info and to register!

I am a special needs sibling raising a special needs sibling. Encouraging other parents to love and support the typical kids in their families is a passion of mine! So today I'm talking through seven phrases every special needs sibling needs to hear. They apply to every age and stage of development. And I share an opportunity to join me in prayer for our typical kids for fourteen days through daily devotions. Listen to the end of the episode for details! Unexpected Blessing: The Joys and Possibilities of Life in a Special Needs Family (affiliate link) All of Sandra's resources on siblings Abiding Caregiver Facebook group Master list of prayers and devotions Sandra on Instagram

This is episode 66, and today we're talking about making decisions. We talk about that a lot here, partly because it's such a huge part of our lives. And as I've talked with my husband Lee and other friends about the decisions they make and how they make those decisions, I've noticed we all take those steps at different speeds. So today let's talk through what personality factors go into our decision making speeds, what can really be at the heart of slow or fast decision making, and four questions to ask when making a decision. Link to transcript and show notes: http://www.sandrapeoples.com/thepodcast/

There are extra barriers for caregivers in friendship. But to have the kinds of friendships you want, you have to be the kind of friend you want. And that may mean you go first. We're going to talk about going first in three ways that will strengthen your friendships! Links mentioned: Our Facebook group, Abiding Caregiver Show notes and transcript for this episode: sandrapeoples.com/thepodcast

Today I'm joined by my pastor/husband to discuss being hurt by the church. We talk through three situations we've experienced from one side or the other: having a conflict with another church member, being hurt by the staff or leaders in a church, and leaving a church in a healthy way. We have been hurt by church people, but we've also been healed by church people. And we're praying the same will happen for you and your family.

This is episode 63, and we're talking about why hobbies are fun. I know that as an abiding caregiver, lots of things in your life probably feel hard. That's why it may be even more important for you to have a hobby, something that feels fun. In this episode, I'm not going to tell you what hobby you should do. We're going to focus on the reasons to have hobbies—the why behind them. Of course I'll talk about the hobbies my family and I have because they are fun to talk about, but don't think you have to do exactly what we do. I just want to get you thinking about what would be fun for you and why it's important to do something fun! Join our Abiding Caregiver Facebook group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/selfcarespneedsmoms Check out the show notes: http://www.sandrapeoples.com/thepodcast/

This is episode 62, and I'm actually super excited to talk about spring cleaning! I thought it would be fun to do a little spring-cleaning challenge that you can join me for this week or save it for a week when you're feeling springy! We're going to set up a few little things that will make it easier before we get started, then I'll share 10, 30, and 60-minute challenges you can do each day of the week to get your house ready for a new season! Full Shownotes: http://www.sandrapeoples.com/spring-cleaning-challenge-ep-62/ Quick Links: Go Clean Co barkeepers friend (affiliate link) post at Desiring God: The Hidden Ministry of Homemaking: What I Learned from Elisabeth Elliot Every Moment Holy (affiliate link) Abiding Caregivers Facebook Group

This is episode 61, and I'm sharing my read, watch, and listen recommendations from the winter! Can you believe spring starts next week? I'm so excited for it. I feel so much hope for the new season and what's to come. I thought it would be fun to share my favorites from the last few months so you could put them on your list of things to read, watch, and listen to! Shownotes: http://www.sandrapeoples.com/read-watch-listen-recommendations-ep-061/    

My day job is serving my state convention as their special needs ministry consultant. Every day I'm talking to churches about how to start or strengthen their disability ministries so every family has access to the gospel and a church home. In that role and at my own church where I serve as the Inclusion Coordinator for Special Needs Families, I think there are big changes coming to churches that will affect special needs families. There are also three opportunities that I'm excited about! Let's talk through those today so we can better understand what's happening in our churches and how our calling as missionaries to other caregivers has never been more important! Links mentioned: All Access Disability Ministry Conference 99 Balloons Nathaniel's Hope Rising Above Ministries "For People with Special Needs, Every Church Is ‘Accessible’ Now" Abiding Caregiver Facebook group

Today we're talking about how we can care for ourselves as we manage the emotional needs of those around us. As the mom, wife, and caregiver in your family, you are likely the one who is in tune with the feelings around you and the one who knows how to manage those feelings—but sometimes it's just too much. So today we're going to talk about how to be emotionally healthy while being emotionally available for those we love. This week's sponsor, the TwoGether marriage conference from Rising Above! My husband and I are speaking at this virtual conference on Feb. 26th, and we'd love for you to join us.

Even if you aren't a football fan, you probably saw that 43-year-old quarterback Tom Brady won the Super Bowl last night. If he can do that, we can get our bodies moving, right? Today I'm sharing 6 ways to increase your step count each day! We can set reasonable movement goals for ourselves and meet them. It helps us stay strong and healthy for the people who need us! This week's sponsor: the TWOgether Marriage Conference from Rising Above Ministries. Join us on Feb. 26th for this event that will encourage you to keep your marriage strong! Quick Links: habit tracker printable Jessica Smith TV YouTube videos TWOgether Marriage Conference from Rising Above Ministries

This is episode 57, and today we're talking about how an abiding caregiver picks a Bible study or Bible reading plan. We know reading Scripture and spending time with God are important, but sometimes we get so busy we don't make it a priority in our day. Thankfully there are lots of resources and studies available that help us spend time in the Word and enjoy it! Quick Links: YouVersion Bible reading plan BibleProject The Bible Recap book and podcast She Reads Truth The Daily Grace Co., Rising Above Ministries groups Abiding Caregiver Facebook group This week's sponsor: The Rising Above Ministries App Whether you are a beginner special needs parent with a new diagnosis, or you’ve been a caregiver to someone with special needs for years, we would love for you to download the app—available in the App Store or Google Play—and join with our community as we walk this road TOGETHER.

This is episode 56, and today I'm sharing my updated meal planning routine! It's been almost a year since my first episode about meal planning, and I've made some changes since then! Why? Well, because what works for us keeps evolving. Maybe like me you want to think about what is working and what isn't working about your meal planning routine and make some adjustments! Big thanks to this week's sponsor, the Rising Above Ministries App! Links mentioned in this episode: 011: Menu Planning: The Key to Making Every Week Go Smoother 055: Celebrating the Sabbath as Abiding Caregivers Weekly Meal Plan Printable PDF Abiding Caregivers Facebook group

This is episode 55, and today we're talking about how abiding caregivers celebrate the Sabbath. Instead of feeling guilty that we can't spend the Sabbath like others who don't have the same responsibilities we have, we can focus on celebrating the rhythms of the Sabbath and not be bound by the rules. What's at the heart of our discussion today is the reminder that Jesus offers rest every day, not just once a week.

This is episode 054, and we're talking about where we get stuck in completing our goals. Sometimes I get stuck setting a goal. Sometimes I get stuck in the middle. And sometimes I get stuck right before the end of a project. Let's talk about the reasons we stuck and how we can push through to get things done.

This is episode 53, and the first one of 2021! Today we're talking about one of my favorite practices at the beginning of a new year. It's the idea of "beginning as you mean to go on." It's based on a quote from Spurgeon that says, “Begin as you mean to go on, and go on as you began, and let the Lord be all in all to you.” We're going to talk about how we want this year to go, what we can do this week to set ourselves up for beginning as we mean to go on, and of course, invite the Lord to be all in all to us in 2021.

As I reflect on 2020, I thought it would be fun to share the best books I read! If you've listened to many episodes, you know reading is my favorite hobby. And this year I read over 100 books! So narrowing down my favorites was tough but fun! In this episode I'll share my twelve favorite books, my favorite cookbook, and four I'm excited about that will release in 2021!

As we get closer to Christmas, I wanted to invite Katie M. Reid on to talk about her new book, A Very Bavarian Christmas. It’s the fictional account of Holly Noel, a 30-something single woman who moves back home after a professional disappointment. Her dad had suffered an aneurysm when she was seven, and their family’s life had revolved around his care after that event. When she moves back home, she has to work through her feelings of disappointment in so many areas of her life. Today we’re going to talk about the book with Katie (staying spoiler free!), how she related to Holly as a special-needs sibling who understands family life revolving around one member, and we’re going to talk about why this is the perfect time of year for feel-good books like this one and share a couple of our other favorite comfort books and movies. This episode is sponsored by One Word for 2021: An Online Conference for Special-Needs Moms. Click here to learn more and get your discount code: http://www.sandrapeoples.com/one-word-for-2021/

I invited my husband Lee to talk through five reflection questions as we wrap up 2020 and look ahead to 2021! We cover: What was the biggest challenge you faced this year? How did you change in 2020? Who/what influenced that change? What are you most proud of in 2020? (personally, workwise, as a family) What unexpected blessing do you want to remember? What hope are you carrying into the new year? At sandrapeoples.com/thepodcast, I have a PDF download with these five questions plus five more to journal or talk through with someone else. Let's end the year "remembering and telling" what God has done in our lives!

In episode 49, I've invited my friend Diane Dokko Kim to talk about navigating complicated family relationships. We know family relationships aren't always easy, especially with the extra challenges of being a special-needs family. Diane has so many personal stories to share of how she and her loved ones have overcome hurt feelings, miscommunication, and more. She shares from those experiences and what she's learned from Scripture to heal complicated family relationships. Take time this week to listen and prepare your heart to lead the way toward love, patience, and forgiveness this holiday season. Connect with Diane Dokko Kim: dianedokkokim.com This episode is sponsored by Extraordinary Legacy, a One-Night Virtual Conference for Special-Needs Dads from Rising Above Ministries! Click over to register the special-needs dad in your life for this event happening Friday, Nov. 20th!

As we get closer to the end of 2020, I like to reflect on what worked and didn't work for me this year. Obviously, in a year this unique, there's a lot that didn't work for me, but most of that was outside of my control. In today's episode, I'm focusing on what did work for me and my family in such a chaotic year. I've come up with 10 things to share with you! I'm excited to go through the list and hear what worked for you in 2020 when we talk about it in our Abiding Caregiver Facebook group this week! Make sure you're a member so you can join me. Find the link in the show notes at sandrapeoples.com/thepodcast

Becoming a caregiver isn't something most of us prepared for or could have anticipated. It becomes part of our identity when we hear a diagnosis for our child or spouse. Hearing the words, "We believe your son has autism" in November of 2010 changed everything for us. And I know hearing your child or spouse's diagnosis changed so much for you. But we can get so focused on the day-to-day care, we don't take time to look at the big picture of what God is doing in our lives as caregivers. That's why it's important to reflect on these big milestones like the ten-year anniversary. So today as I look back on the last ten years, I'll share what his diagnosis process was like for us, the highs and lows since then, and some of our dreams for the future.

I'll admit to you today that in the last decade, since my son’s autism diagnosis, my prayer life has changed. After so many nights of asking for sleep and not getting it, after praying for help and not getting it, I started only asking for safe requests. I didn't want to demand what God wasn’t willing to give. I didn’t want to be disappointed. But the Holy Spirit led me to Mark 10 and Jesus's encounter with Bartimaeus. The question Jesus asked him is the same question He asked me. And the answer continues to draw me closer to Him in prayer.

Meg Apperson—author, blogger, military wife, and homeschooling mom—knew God her entire life and truly believed she trusted Him with everything. But when her daughter Avery was born with an extremely rare and serious birth defect that could take her away at any moment, Meg realized that Jesus was her everything. In her book, Sky Full of Stars: Learning to Surrender to God’s Perfect Plans, Meg beautifully shares how God sustained her through the hardest time of her life. In our chat today, Meg shares not only how true, faithful, and loving God is, but how He has a purpose for our pain and suffering.

2020 has been a year we'll never forget. It's amazing what got packed into one year. And we are really feeling it as 2020 ends. But as we enter the last three months of the year, I want to slow down a little and make a plan for what I want to do before it speeds past. Maybe you do too? Maybe you want to take back a little control over the year and set goals you can meet—goals that are less about what you will accomplish and more about what you will enjoy. Let's do that together today as we create a bucket list for the rest of 2020! This week, I'll be in our Facebook group talking more about my bucket list and asking you to share what's on yours! if you haven't joined us, click here: Abiding Caregiver Facebook group.

This is episode 43, and we're talking about how to abide in Christ during the election season. What do I mean by abide in Christ? I mean we focus on His power, His purpose, and His peace. There are some practical steps we can take to help us focus on His power, purpose, and peace, and we're going to walk through them together today. I'll also share why my Patreon supporters are so important and what you get if you sign up to support me in that way. Visit patreon.com/sandrapeoples to learn more.

Today we're talking about benevolent detachment, a practice I read about in John Eldredge's book Get Your Life Back. It's the idea of turning over to God what weighs heavy on us and leaving it in His hands. We'll talk about how Jesus practiced this during His life and how we can follow His example. I'll share how I realized it was the solution to something that has been causing me a lot of stress lately. I hope this concept is as helpful to you as it has been to me! 

During this pandemic time, caregivers have been stretched like never before. And if your family is like mine, you're finding your spouse and typical children are getting less time and attention because the family member you're a caregiver for requires so much more. That's why I'm excited to have Jolene Philo join me on the podcast today to talk about her book, Sharing Love Abundantly in Special-Needs Families based on the 5 love languages. Knowing and speaking each other's love languages is the easiest and best way to make everyone in our families feel as loved as possible. This chat will Jolene will help you figure out the love languages of your family members and give creative ways to speak their language.

As we adjust to new routines and the days grow shorter, it's a good time to talk about getting more sleep. I know for caregivers this isn't an easy, three-step process. There are factors out of our control that determine how much sleep we get most nights. But that's why it's even more important to sleep when we can and evaluate and eliminate anything we need to so we can rest better. Today I'll share how we're getting more sleep, including the process my husband Lee went through to get diagnosed with sleep apnea and the small decisions I make throughout the day to set me up for better sleep at night. In this episode you'll also hear more about my new book, Everyday Prayers for the Special-Needs Mom, and join me in celebrating our 10,000th download!

As I look at my life as a caregiver, I can see the temptation I have toward sinning in four specific ways: discontentment, pride, envy, and ungodliness. We're going to look at each one today and remind ourselves of the hope we have in Christ as we grow in godliness!