The Timms Take

Matt and Rachel discuss play, what it looks like and whether they're good at it. Together they start working towards a grand theory of play. Plus some mail from the deep end!How do you play? Let us know by emailing us at timmstake@gmail.com.Mentioned in this episode:Rachel's bubbly music: "Feels So Right" and "Everything's Right" by Matt Wertz

Rachel and Matt talk about the things they don't want to forget about this season, both things that Oliver and Julian are doing and things that they are feeling and experiencing themselves.We're always looking for more mail! Email us at timmstake@gmail.com.Mentioned in this episode:Rich Roll Podcast with Jessica Lahey: Innoculating Kids Against Addiction

Matt and Rachel discuss the ways that having a second child has changed them from resignation to patience to introversion and all kinds of things in between. Plus, some things that haven't seemed to change at all! Have you noticed any changes through the podcast? Email us at timmstake@gmail.com!

Rachel and Matt do a snake draft of the services they subscribe to after some brief marital therapy induced by some recent sleepless nights. Do you have a favorite thing you're subscribed to? Email us at timmstake@gmail.com.Mentioned in this episode:Chris Trager, the fine-tuned machineGetting Things Done by David AllenOur subscriptions:Todoist1PasswordSpotifyYNAB; referral linkLeague Pass (Team Pass) Amazon PrimeRefitMicrosoft 365Google OneProsePinboardCleanMyMac X

Matt interviews Rachel about her experience of instinctive decision making as a mom. Where do they come from? How does she discern when to pay attention and when to trust conventional wisdom despite them? And stay to the end to hear about Oliver's own parenting techniques!Have instincts of your own? A story where they worked out perfectly (or not so perfectly)? Email us at timmstake@gmail.com and we'll likely include your note in a future episode!

Matt and Rachel talk about the positive and negative pressures that get applied when they have to parent in public and the way so much of this reflects our own stuff far more than the parenting our kids need! Plus, Oliver on red dye.As always, we welcome your own takes! Email us at timmstake@gmail.com.Mentioned in this episode:Sesame Street's "Good Night, World!"Beth Moore's memoir: All My Knotted-Up Life

Rachel and Matt talk about the value of studying the loves  and passions of others in the family and some examples of ways they have done that for each other and with Oliver. Plus some brief weather talk and the challenge of working out what's going on with a five month old.Have your own example? Or another family/friend philosophy? Email us and let us know at timmstake@gmail.com.Mentioned in this episode:Some Favorite Dude Perfect Videos: Ping Pong Trick Shots, Ultimate Mini Games Battle

Matt and Rachel discuss the surprising lack of rules in their family, how that might be a healthy thing and how children (toddlers especially!) help relativize the importance of ironclad boundaries.Have a favorite family rule? Or a personal hard line you will not cross? Email us and let us know at timmstake@gmail.com.Mentioned in this episode:Raising Boys & Girls PodcastThe Worry-Free Parent Miniseries (from the Raising Boys & Girls Podcast)Dude Perfect YouTube ChannelBlues Clues & You: Storytime with Josh & Blue (Podcast) 

Rachel and Matt hit a couple of quick highlights from recent days, and then dive deep on their love of reading, where it came from, how they've cultivated it and some favorites of this year!Have a book recommendation? Or another favorite hobby you're dying to share with us? Email us and let us know at timmstake@gmail.com.Mentioned in this episode:Wayside School Series by Louis SacharA Series of Unfortunate EventsHardy Boys mysteriesTed DekkerGoodreadsRobin Sloan on the Libby widgetThe Thursday Murder Club Series by Richard OsmanChildren of Dune by Frank HerbertTaylor Jenkins Reid (Daisy Jones and the Six, The Seven Husbands of Evelyn Hugo, Carrie Soto is Back)Delighting in the Trinity by Michael ReevesI Guess I Haven't Learned That Yet by Shauna NiequistFourth Wing by Rebecca Yarros

Matt and Rachel lament their current four month regression with Julian and reflect on what it's like going back through this all a second time.Whose analogy did you like better? It might be the only thing worth commenting on in this episode. Email us and let us know at timmstake@gmail.com.Mentioned in this episode:Previous sleep regression episodes: Episode 20 ("I declared the regression was over..."); Episode 21 ("I was wrong...")"Look for the Light"Bell Sound Effect from Pixabay

Rachel and Matt talk about the guilt around certain areas that they carry with them about their parenting, how they process that individually and together.How do you grapple with guilt, whether parenting-related or in another part of your life? We'd love to hear about it. Email us at timmstake@gmail.com.Mentioned in this episode:Instagram Reel about "Soaking It All In"The Bear on Hulu

Matt and Rachel explore the question "what compelling or interesting things do you bring in your role in our family?" It leads to an interesting and encouraging conversation as they explore their dynamic and how that interacts with early expectations in marriage.Have you had a conversation like this with someone? Inspired by this episode? We'd love to hear about it. Email us at timmstake@gmail.com.Mentioned in this episode:NYT Opinion on athletic groups replacing religion: "The Church of Group Fitness"

Rachel and Matt offer a whole episode of TV recommendations. Now that they can't just use Matt's parents' Netflix, they are watching shows one streaming platform at a time. So, if you only subscribed for a month, what do they think you should watch? Listen to find out. We'd love to hear your recommendations. What are your favorite shows? What should we check out? Why should we subscribe to Paramount+? Let us know at timmstake@gmail.com.Mentioned in this episode:Amazon Prime: Primo and Jury DutyMax (HBO): Newsroom and The West Wing Recap Podcast: The West Wing WeeklyHulu: Survivor and Modern FamilyPodcast: On Fire with Jeff ProbstApple TV: Platonic and TryingNetflix: Madam Secretary and Formula 1: Drive to Survive (bonus mention to The Diplomat)Disney+: Bluey and AndorFavorite Bluey episodes: Baby Race and Sleepytime

We're back! Matt and Rachel talk about the future of the podcast and share a few of the things that have happened recently including Julian's birth, Oliver's third birthday and how they feel about it all. As we broaden the topics of the podcast, we're game for anything - send us a note about something you'd be curious to hear our "take" on! Email us at timmstake@gmail.com.Mentioned in this episode:Zingo, the game Matt and Oliver were playing.

No, it's not an update; just a couple of tired parents trying to not mislead listeners.More to (maybe) come soon (maybe), we think (possibly)...

One month out from baby #2 and how are we feeling? Rachel and Matt reflect on what they are anticipating, how they've been preparing (and not preparing), and what this might mean for their relationship.Plus an announcement of our upcoming plans (or lack thereof).We welcome mail responses to episodes old and new! Email us at timmstake@gmail.com.Mentioned in this episode:Kate Bowler, "A Blessing for the Life You Have"In a fitting Easter story, the Chick-fil-A Side salad died, and then rose again. 

This episode is all (and only) the other stuff featuring a new favorite fantasy series, newsletter, another (rival?) podcast and some of Oliver's recent sayings. Links below!Plus Rachel asks for breakfast suggestions.Breakfast suggestions? Future topic ideas? Send them to  timmstake@gmail.com.Mentioned in this episode:Chris Traegar from Parks and RecThe Legendborn Cycle by Tracy DeonnCraig Mod: Roden, Ridgeline, his websiteBible Project Podcast on the Law

In this episode,  Matt and Rachel talk about their recent summit conversation and the way it created a significant "before and after" moment for Matt.How do you practice contentment? Email us at timmstake@gmail.com.Mentioned in this episode:"From the Summit" by Hannah (aka "Blog Crush Lady")Four Thousand Weeks by Oliver BurkemanSurvivor is back!The Ember mug

In this episode,  Rachel and Matt discuss screen time, how much Oliver gets it, and why it might be helpful for us to just relax a little (or more than a little).Plus a mention of Oliver's first dentist experience.Do you have thoughts on screen time? We know you do! Email us at timmstake@gmail.com.Mentioned in this episode:Emily Oster's Cribsheet"From the Summit" by Hannah (aka "Blog Crush Lady")Station Eleven by Emily St John Mandel

In this episode,  Matt and Rachel rank Oliver's 22 stuffed animals, discussing their rankings in light of affection and emotional reactions, longevity, our personal connections to his animals, places they've been, and their heritage.Disagree with these authoritative rankings? Email us at timmstake@gmail.com.Mentioned in this episode:Photos of Oliver's animals: Almost the Whole Gang; Some of the Top 10A poor substitute for Yaya that we hope we never have to buy.Bluey: Unicorse

In this episode, Rachel and Matt share many of the joys they experience as parents of Oliver including the magic of a toddler's head on your shoulder, seeing your child's sense of humor come alive, the funny things they say and much more.We always love mail! Email us at timmstake@gmail.com.Mentioned in this episode:BlueyEzra Klein Show: "This Is Your Brain on Deep Reading. It's Pretty Magnificent"Drew Holcomb & the Neighbors: "Family" aka "The Shoulder Song"The Mirror Visitor Quartet by Christelle Dabos

In this episode, Matt and Rachel explore some hopes for the new year (beyond getting potty training settled). They talk about enjoying this stage in Oliver's development, hopes for outside fun and Matt continues to revisit his unhealthy obsession with productivity.What are your hopes for the New Year? We'd love to hear them! Email us at timmstake@gmail.com.

In this episode, Rachel and Matt debrief/vent about a tough week and Matt grapples with the difference between parenting in concept and parenting in reality. Want to send some encouragement, any encouragement? We'd welcome it! Email us at timmstake@gmail.com.Mentioned in this episode:Jon McLaughlin: Red & Green

In this episode, Matt and Rachel go back and forth talking about what works and doesn't work for convincing Oliver to do what he's asked from preparing him for what's to come to offering a rational explanation to playing games along the way.Have your own negotiating tactic? Email us at timmstake@gmail.com.Mentioned in this episode:Episode 59 on Gentle ParentingHow to Talk So Little Kids Will Listen by Joanna Faber & Julie KingBig Little FeelingsDune the book (by Frank Herbert); Dune the Movie

In this episode, Rachel and Matt talk about their (ahem, Rachel's) toy philosophy and some toys laying around their house that fit into different categories like "best unexpected toy", "most regretted purchase" and more. Plus, stay to the end for a big announcement.Have advice in light of that announcement? Email us at timmstake@gmail.com.Mentioned in this episode:Little Tikes Basketball HoopOliver's Plastic GuitarMelissa & Doug Cleaning SetTrip a Little Light Fantastic (from Mary Poppins Returns)Andor on Disney+Descript - Matt's podcast editing software (it's magical)

In this episode, Matt and Rachel talk about the mental toll of parenting including challenges at bed time, interrupted dinners, repeated songs, impossible-to-decode instructions and much more. Much, much more. Got ways to help our mental fortitude? Email us at timmstake@gmail.com.Mentioned in this episode:Episode 67: The Physical Toll of ToddlersNowhere To Go But Up & Can You Imagine That (from Mary Poppins Returns)DreamListThe 1904 Olympic Marathon: The Memory Palace Episode, Wikipedia ArticleA Guide to Christmas Feasting by Matt Timms and Sam Gutierrez

In this episode, Rachel and Matt discuss the concept of the "default parent", where they've seen it in their own parenting, whether the term is helpful at all, and how they have (mostly) avoided this type of resentment. Plus, some Other Stuff that includes a cry for help from Rachel about lunch.Seriously, what do you eat for lunch?! Email Rachel at timmstake@gmail.com.Mentioned in this episode:Chromecast with Google TV

In this episode, Rachel and Matt talk about the struggles of short-term family sickness including bad nights of sleep, the "quick kid recovery", germ overload and much more.Have a story? Want to share a comment? Email us at timmstake@gmail.com.Mentioned in this episode:Photo of Oliver as Miguel from CocoABLE Clothing (and their 360 Club)

In this episode, Rachel and Matt talk about what it's like to have time away from Oliver, how normal that feels, and the swirl of feelings and cultural expectations that  around that. They also explore the positive side of "time away" that opens up a part of them that isn't just a parent. Oh, and they bring up some Other Stuff, of course.Want to join the conversation? Email us at timmstake@gmail.com.Mentioned in this episode:Matt references a podcast where three Dads are talking about wanting time with their kids as they want less time with you. Here is that podcast: Dadville with Chris Shiflett"No Guilt Allowed! Why Parents Need Time for Themselves" by Brian GreskoJunior Bake Off

In this episode, Matt and Rachel discuss this quote: "Was this parenthood? That every second of joy would be atomically split with fear?" They talk about their own different experiences of wrestling with fear, anxiety and mortality in the context of parenthood and marvel at just how different two people can be.We would love your feedback. Let us know your experience of joy and fear by emailing us at timmstake@gmail.com.Mentioned in this episode:Ashley Gadd's newsletterSinéad Gleeson's memoir ConstellationsThe Daily (by the New York Times), particularly a recent episode on California's promise to only sell new electric cars by 2035. 

In this episode, Matt and Rachel discuss the experience of Oliver preferring a particular parent, their feelings about this (and the relief of not always being the "chosen one"), how age plays a role and whether this is something to indulge or not.We loved hearing from Marco on parental pride. If you want to chime into the conversation, reach out at timmstake@gmail.com.Mentioned in this episode:From the New York Times: "Why Does My Kid Prefer My Partner?" by Jessica GroseFrom Big Little Feelings: "Managing Parent Preference"Lucy Huber's tweet (@clhubes)

In this episode, Matt and Rachel discuss the fascinating phenomenon of parental pride - where does it come from, what about it is natural, and when does it become unhealthy? They also discuss some postures that can offer a different way of appreciating kids.You might not miss us, but we miss you. If you want to chime into the conversation, reach out at timmstake@gmail.com.Mentioned in this episode:Four Thousand Weeks by Oliver BurkemanTimeless on Hulu"Does My Son Know You?" by Jonathan Tjarks

In this episode, Matt and Rachel discuss the physical toll of toddlers on their parents, both the obvious ("collateral damage of play") and the more subtle. Plus some fun other stuff. Have other physical tolls we didn't mention? Let us know at timmstake@gmail.com.Mentioned in this episode:A study on parental sleep (or lack thereof): "Long-term effects of pregnancy and childbirth on sleep satisfaction and duration of first-time and experienced mothers and fathers" by David Richter, Michael D Krämer, Nicole K Y Tang, Hawley E Montgomery-Downs, and Sakari Lemola  The Address Book by Deirdre Mask 

In this episode, Matt and Rachel come fresh off an argument to talk about the bests and worsts of vacations with a toddler including the extra travel time, afternoon siestas, and just how close Matt's vacation rhythm is to that of a toddler. What are your bests and worsts of vacations? Let us know at timmstake@gmail.com.Mentioned in this episode:"Seventeen Hip Pack" aka Rachel's Re-Branded Fanny Pack

In this episode, Matt and Rachel share about a recent pool incident where neither of them wanted to be there and how we might think about doing things we don't want to for/with our kids. It quickly shifts and expands to a conversation about our expectations.And as always, we welcome your feedback and thoughts - just drop a note to timmstake@gmail.com.Mentioned in this episode:Bluey: Helicopter The Ezra Klein Show: "Relationships Are Hard. This Unusual Parenting Theory Can Help."Dadville with Andrew PetersonMama Bear Video 

In this episode, Matt and Rachel give an update on the state of the pod and take turns sharing defining characteristics of Oliver at the burgeoning age of 2. Enjoy! And as always, we welcome your feedback and thoughts - just drop a note to timmstake@gmail.com.Mentioned in this episode:The Karissa-recommended book: How to Talk So Little Kids Will Listen by Joanna Faber & Julie King"The Pool Song" aka "The World es mi Familia"Oliver performing with backup dancer Balou 

Matt and Rachel are on vacation this week but for a few brief minutes they're joined by the one who makes the podcast possible - Oliver! And then he leaves.Anyway, we'll be back in a week with a normal episode, a recap of some travel, and some reflections on being a parent of a 2-year-old. Plus, we'll talk about the state of the podcast.Want to weigh in about whether we should continue? Email us at timmstake@gmail.com!

In this episode, Matt and Rachel discuss what it means to be happy as a parent (and whether it's possible!).  Prompted by recent ups and downs (including an Oliver/Matt meltdown), it's we enjoyed the conversation! Plus, we end the episode with some favorite books in the segment "Quiet Play Companions."Mentioned in this episode:Paul Bloom, "What Becoming a Parent Really Does to Your Happiness" The New One by Mike Birbiglia The Maid by Nita Prose City of Brass by S. A. Chakraborty 

In this episode, Matt and Rachel share a host of parenting peeves. They've refrained from unburdening themselves to date but it comes tumbling out now! Here them go on (and on) about sippy cups, eating out with toddlers, and more.  Plus, I'm Not Just a Parent.Mentioned in this episode:The Popcast with Knox and Jamie: The More You Know - Fixing Zac Efron and Parenting Snake DraftNotion (Rachel's note-taking app)

For the first time, it's Matt only. If you want to skip this one, we understand. He just tells you that we're delaying our episode a week because we're busy and asks you to send any good parenting resources to timmstake@gmail.com

You can give to the Timms Take GreenHouse Fundraiser here. In this episode, Matt and Rachel share a couple of wonderful letters, explore the topics of hidden and competing goals in parenting and then give an update on Oliver's language in a segment called "Key Plays." It's a packed episode!Mentioned in this episode:Donate to the GreenHouse any time of year hereHow to Talk So Little Kids Will Listen by Joanna Faber & Julie King: 3 Powerful Types Of Parenting Goals That Will Change Your Life 2022 by Pamela Li

Update: Apparently the Big Day of Giving website is only active as of April 21, 2022. After that date you can give to the Timms Take GreenHouse Fundraiser here. Want to give now? Give at the link down below under "Mentioned in this episode." In this special episode, Matt and Rachel talk with Rena Crocker, the Executive Director of the GreenHouse about parenting, introducing and practicing faith with your kids and the wonderful work being done at the GreenHouse. Plus, an invitation to "pay it forward" with a Timms Take fundraiser (see link above).Mentioned in this episode:Donate to the GreenHouse any time of year hereA simple introduction to the Church CalendarHomegoing by Yaa GyasiTranscendent Kingdom by Yaa Gyasi

In this episode Matt and Rachel discuss Matt's war against pollen and heat, the tenets of gentle parenting and what it means to have firm boundaries with a budding toddler! Plus a new segment: Quiet Play Companions.Mentioned in this episode:“The Harsh Realm of 'Gentle Parenting'” by Jessica WinterThe Ezra Klein Show: "Relationships Are Hard. This Unusual Parenting Theory Can Help."Four Thousand Weeks by Oliver BurkemanBeach Read by Emily HenryThe People We Meet on Vacation by Emily HenryBook Lovers by Emily HenryUs by David Nichols

In this episode Matt and Rachel discuss how they've changed in light of becoming parents, plus Rachel brings a groundbreaking entry in the "Field Guide for Parents."Mentioned in this episode:"If You Literally Feel Like a New Person After Having Your Baby, Here's Why" by Ambrosia BradyNo Cure for Being Human by Kate BowlerCoffee & Crumbs Podcast: GamechangersThe Lazy Genius: "The 7 Date Night Mistakes You Didn't Know You Were Making" 

Matt and Rachel talk about a recent study on preschool education and spin off into a conversation about the deep tensions between wanting what's best for your child and wanting to contribute to a more equitable and just world. Plus, the return of Smooch, Marry, Kill.Mentioned in this episode:William Martin's "Do Not Ask Your Children to Strive" "A Top Researcher Says It's Time To Rethink Preschool" by Anya KamenetzHarry Potter: Hogwarts Battle Allbirds Wool Pipers 

Matt and Rachel talk about Oliver as the quintessential toddler and what it looks like to not determine parenting based on future outcomes. Plus a new segment, "What's On After 7?"Mentioned in this episode:Four Thousand Weeks by Oliver BurkemanFormula One: Drive to SurviveS3E9: "Man on Fire"The Rescue

Matt and Rachel talk about narrating the hard things of life as they discuss an essay by Abby Perry (see link below). Plus a mailbag from listener of the show, Andrei. Mentioned in this episode:"Parenting as Narrating" by Abby Perry"When I'm Older" featuring an overly optimistic Olaf

Matt and Rachel talk about uncertainty, the significance of modeling and things in their life they would like to "Smooch, Marry, and Kill."Mentioned in this episode:Bluey: CopycatSmooch, Marry, Kill segment comes with a big tip of the hat to the Popcast with Knox and JamieEddie Bauer Ladies Lounger JoggerThe Gilded Cage by Lynette NoniDoritos Cheesy Gordita Crunch (substitute potatoes easily when ordering via the Taco Bell app)

In this episode, Matt and Rachel give a series of updates: about the podcast, about Matt's retreat, and about Oliver's recent sleep adventures.As we embark on a new season of the podcast, we're looking for new segment ideas. Send some over to us at timmstake@gmail.com!Mentioned in this episode:The Abbey of Our Lady of New Clairvaux (where Matt went for retreat)Instagram: @takingcarababies

In this episode, Matt and Rachel confess that in the Christmas merriment (and chaos) they forgot to podcast. And so here they are saying hi, sorry, and we'll see you in the new year!Want to convince Rachel to keep podcasting? Reach out to timmstake@gmail.com!

In this episode, Matt and Rachel share the results of Timms Take Trivia, discuss the merits of Disney as a vacation destination and recap their recent trip. Plus, stay till the end for a little tension on the podcast about the different ways Matt and Rachel approach post-vacation life.Have your own opinions about Disneyland or DisneyWorld? Let us know at timmstake@gmail.com!Mentioned in this episode:Confessions of a Midlife Travel Blogger: Why I'm Never Taking My Kids to DisneyMamison dishwashing glovesBookshop.orgThe Bentgo Box we used for Oliver's snacks.Matt references his Cannarf experience with the Bentgo box. Learn more about the Cannarf Rating Scale here.