Unfiltered

I recently got back from some trips with college friends, and now that I'm officially working and living alone, I can say that this week has marked the start of my "adulting" and "post-grad" life. As always, I have a lot of reflections, so listen as I share a glimpse into what my past week in this new chapter of my life has been like.

Hi friends, welcome back to my solo episodes! The past couple months have been hectic; from graduating college and applying to medical school, to saying my goodbyes and beginning my gap year living alone, I have experienced lots and lots of change and emotions. So, join me today as I share a slice of my life and close out my last four years in college

This week, I am joined by the one and only Max Schermer. He was on Unfiltered 2 years ago during our freshman spring, and today, he is back to reflect on the challenges, growth, and realizations he has had since then. Max has been such a special part of my college experience, and I am beyond excited to share this reflective space with him.

This week, I am joined by the amazing Janice Nam. Listen as we discuss her upbringing in Georgia, relationship with cooking and food, involvement with the Harvard Korean Association, and important lessons learned in college. Janice is a wonderful and beautiful soul, and I am so lucky to bring her words to Unfiltered

On this week's episode of Unfiltered, I am joined by my good friend, Ka'eo Kekumano. Not only is Ka'eo my suitemate, he is also an aspiring physician, an avid meditator, and a proud native Hawaiian filled with a desire to learn about native healing practices and target disparities among this local population. Listen as we discuss how his upbringing, path to Harvard, and journey of self-discovery/identity has brought him to to these interests. Ka'eo is a wonderful human, and I am so proud to share his story with all of you!

On this episode, I am joined by my suitemate and good friend, Ray Sakamoto

Today, I am joined by my good friend, the iconic Nic Pantelick. In the second episode of my suitemate series, listen as we discuss how his upbringing in San Francisco and journey to Harvard has influenced his inner and outer sense of self. We touch on his love for fashion, his emotional growth in conjunction with his masculinity, and his experiences with trying therapy for the first time. Nic is truly one of the most unique and artistic people I have ever met, and I am so excited to be featuring him as a guest!

Welcome to my suitemate series! Today, I am joined by the one and only Jessie Liu. We discuss her passion for reproductive/gender justice, as well as her advocacy work in policymaking, sex education, and campus-wide wellness. Towards the end, we touch on how her work has informed her relationships, identity, and views on love and care

Today, I am joined by a very special guest, my dear friend Brian. On this episode, listen as they speak on their experiences with psychedelics, relationship with nature, and changing views on love, care, and wonder. After diving into these topics, we ultimately open up to a broader conversation on existentialism, the work industry, and the world. Brian is a constant source of curiosity, inspiration, and artistry to those around them, and I am beyond proud and excited to finally bring their story to Unfiltered.

Today, I am joined by my friend Jasmine, who shares her story on being born in Taiwan, growing up in Hawaii, experiencing loss and grief, and adjusting to post-grad life. We delve into how her upbringing shaped her character, how she grappled with great life changes, and how she feels about transitioning to medical school. Jasmine is a pillar of inspiration and vulnerability, and I am more than excited to bring her words to this platform

On the first episode of my 2024 guest series, I am joined by my friend Afiya, who shares how her relationship with religion and spirituality has evolved from her childhood to now. We talk about everything from growing up religious and questioning one's faith, to creating space for religion in college and its role within medicine. Everyone's journey to spirituality looks, manifests, and sounds different...and Afiya's is definitely one worth listening to.

2023 has brought a lot to the table--old and new love, solitude, travel, burnout, gain and loss, tearful endings, and joyful beginnings. On today's episode, and for the fourth straight year in a row, listen as I share (and expose) all that I've experienced and learned. Happy new year to all

As a socially conditioned forward-thinker, I focus on the future quite a bit. Though this is somewhat helpful in the academic/career context, it's not as healthy when applied to my personal life. On today's episode, I'm sharing all of my thoughts on my relationship with the future. The older I get, the less motivated I am by “success,” and the more motivated I am by my health and internal happiness. The journey is one to be enjoyed, not understood. Healing isn't about being upset about the parts of me that aren't healed. And though the future can be overwhelming, there is a time and place for everything.

It's been a heavy year. And for the past month or so, I've been clouded in a mental fog, hitting lots of walls, feelings lot of feelings, having lots of identity crises, experiencing what I refer to as "life burnout," and losing myself along the way. So what have I done in response? What have I done to "find myself"? From learning to not fear my emotions, to prioritizing my health over my pride, to deconstructing labels of "okay" versus "not okay" and "good" versus "bad," I have tried to slow down and take care of myself. I'm certainly not 100% better, but I firmly believe that the process of losing myself, finding myself, and everything in between, has been such a beautiful and powerful lesson for me at the age of 22.

I have experienced a lot of failure and rejection in college in the context of classes, clubs, personal goals, and people. I grew up thinking that failure is inherently negative because I believe it to be a reflection of my self-worth and character, causing me to bottle up emotions such as shame and embarrassment and learn how to cover up my mistakes. However, I have come to learn that failure is a complicated topic, and that it is actually a very important experience that makes us human. On today's episode, I share my many thoughts on rejection, failure, and disappointment -- we avoid hard things out of fear of failure, rejection therapy helps normalize disappointment, and failure can force us to reflect on the standards we are setting for ourselves.

My beliefs and experiences of friendship have changed dramatically over the past few years. A lot has changed since my freshman year, and I've recently spent a lot of time reflecting on the people who have been in my life since then. What does it mean for each friendship to fill a different niche? How are friendships like seasons? How and why do I tie specific people to specific places, objects, and songs? And finally...looking ahead to next year, what will it mean for me to leave college, a place that has an inherent social infrastructure and carries so many of my past memories, conversations, and emotions?

Being comfortable and having routine in life is good -- it can mean stability, and I want that one day. But I think that comfortability can also be complacency. And right now, as a young college student, I don't ever want to slip into this state. On today's episode, I talk about how I know when I'm too comfortable (the thought of changing my routine makes me unusually anxious or upset, I avoid my problems, I romanticize another life), and what I do to fix it (I try new things, set new goals, and physically put myself in situations where I cannot be comfortable).

I'm entering my last year in college, and I have an overwhelming amount of thoughts and feelings leading up to it. I hope you all enjoy!

As a college student, I have at times subscribed to the phrase "rise and grind," which has made me think about the notion of productivity that it carries. The conversation surrounding hustle culture has two extreme opinions. On the one hand, there is the glorification and praise of those who dedicate their lives to their craft, and on the other, there is the rejection of this culture entirely. On today's episode, listen as I discuss the pros and cons of hustle culture -- one that has taken on a spiritual dimension, redefined buzz words such as "ambition, visionary, and grit," and set up the expectation that we must be overly dedicated and constantly passionate about what we do.

I've recently been struggling with the question of whether or not everything happens for a reason, and I think this ties to a broader debate surrounding spirituality and religion. On today's episode, I present both sides and discuss the benefits and pitfalls of each. While believing "yes" makes life more interesting, highlights major turning points, and functions as a driving force in life, it can also become a disempowering crutch, reinforce our self-centeredness, and dismiss the grieving process when devastating events happen. I hope this episode sparks some questions in you, because asking questions is one of the most important things in life.

I've noticed this trend where people try to play it cool and act mysterious and unbothered. Mystery is definitely intriguing, but I think it could also be weaponized. I don't know if it's a good or bad thing, but I have a lot of thoughts and questions. Is "playing it cool" a defense mechanism? Do we do it to attract attention? Why do we glamorize poor communication skills? How has "playing it cool" created a toxic modern culture of dating? And is it better to share too much or share nothing at all...?

As a kid, I came to dislike a lot of my characteristically Asian features because I was in an environment that saw white and Eurocentric features as the beauty standard, and I was teased a lot for the shape of my eyes, face, etc. I also had a complicated relationship with my body image, one that influenced my journey with health and fitness. Nowadays, I've definitely healed and grown stronger through these experiences, but I still find myself grappling with major insecurities over my physical appearance from time to time. On today's episode, listen as I share my many half-formed thoughts about beauty standards, body image, pretty privilege, etc.

Recently, my life has been filled with peaceful and simple moments of joy, such as reconnecting with old friends, experiencing random acts of kindness, and witnessing beautiful moments between strangers. I don't know where they came from, and I don't know why I had the urge to write them all down, but I'm cherishing and relishing in these moments as they come.

We naturally seek and gain approval from external sources. Whether it's the size of our friend group, the prestigiousness of an internship, or the amount of romantic interest we receive, we can't help but feel validated by these factors and invalidated by the lack thereof. Beginning in middle school, I always felt the need to excel in school, have a ton of friends, and mold my physical appearance for the male gaze. On today's episode, I analyze how these experiences affected who I am today, and I discuss my growing desire to break free from these sources of validation.

Life is essentially designed for extroverted people, for those who know how to network, socialize, and devote their lives to maintaining friendships and relationships. But I've been reflecting recently, and I realized I don't know many people who are 100% true extroverts...so does this mean that we are all adhering to a pressure and expectation to be extremely outgoing and social while simultaneously draining ourselves and building false images for others to see? On today's episode, I discuss the power of choosing solitude. Being alone means many things -- being your own best friend, not waiting around for others, and abandoning the guilt that comes with saying no. It is an art form, as it requires patience, practice, and an appreciation for beautiful change. And for as long as I am alive, it's an art that I am aiming to perfect.

I've always been really fascinated by the topics of healing a broken heart and making the decision to put oneself first. Because...what does this truly mean? What does taking back one's life entail? I think it looks different for everyone, but in my experiences, healing and and achieving wholeness only happen once its done from the inside out. And so, after a few months of taking a break from the mic, I am so excited to announce and launch my new series on all things heartbreak, self-love, and healing.

Almost everyone I've met has experienced some sort of unhealthy relationship with a person, situation, behavior, or object. When we don't feel whole or complete in ourselves, we tend to develop attachments to things even if we know that that they aren't good for us. On today's episode, I am going to be talking about what it means to detach, let go, and move on, because life is too short to waste our time and energy on people or circumstances that are ultimately negatively impacting us. For me, detachment means removing things from pedestals, reframing connections, and proactively setting up boundaries in a way that allows us to put ourselves first. But this is a process I know we are all still figuring out, so I hope this episode inspires some of you.

If there's anything I've learned in the past few years, it's that real, authentic people are hard to come by. Today, I'm talking about the traits I've noticed among the most genuine people in my life. Here's a reminder to cherish genuine and authentic people...because they sure are rare.

In light of heavy emotions and stress, I always find refuge in the gym, yoga studio, or cycle class. But about two months ago, I sustained my first ever injury...and in the blink of an eye, my life went from one full of activity to one in which I was extremely limited in movement and forced to rest. I could not release my emotions and energy into exercise, and I felt uneasy and frustrated with my lack of control. Now that I'm finally recovered, I can reflect on all that this injury has taught me: how to seek help, how to be patient and resilient, how to transform my goals with health and fitness, and how to listen to my body.

Emotions are such a complicated topic of discussion. College has made me experience a lot of new emotions, and learning how to handle and respond to them has helped me grow a lot over the past few years. On today's episode, I am talking about the major lessons I have learned about emotions. They cannot be forced or controlled. Being honest and upfront about your emotions is one of the bravest and most inspiring things you can do. Emotions must be respected. And finally, there is a delicate balance between feeling and suppressing.

Before every semester, I have a mini-crisis about everything (school, friends, time, etc.) Luckily, this crisis usually only lasts a few minutes to an hour, but it got me wondering why I have this crisis in the first place...why does the start of a new college semester bring on such intense emotions and thoughts? Is there anything I can do to make my transitions to new semesters much calmer and smoother? On today's episode, listen to me discuss my theories for why I have these crises, my solutions for overcoming them, and my goals for my upcoming junior spring. Cheers to a new semester!

2022 was a year full of change, challenging yet beautiful. On the final episode of season 5, I am recapping my year while sharing the major life lessons I have learned while grappling constant change. Change doesn't happen to you, it happens for you. It is not your job to change others. You are never really in control. Do as much as necessary, but as little as possible. And most importantly, always, always, respect your intuition.

Ever since I became a college student, my relationship with home has changed entirely. It has now become a space for reflection, peace, and redirection. Amidst the changes (good and bad) that come with college, returning home has truly opened the doors for personal healing and growth, serving as a reminder that everything will truly be okay

It's the classic story: you go from a bubbly, extroverted, excited freshman to a tired, antisocial, jaded upperclassman. It happens to all of us. Though a little realism is good, I think that becoming too jaded can become super dangerous to our mental, emotional, and physical health and sense of self. It causes us to lose intentionality, passions, and joy. On today's episode, I'm sharing nine ways in order to resist this natural tendency toward jadedness, including remembering WHY you're here, leaving campus every now and then, and recognizing when you are stuck in a cycle of self-doubt. I hope these are helpful and encouraging to those of us who sometimes feel like we're simply going through the motions.

Hey guys, on today's episode I want to be super real and honest by talking about how tiring, stressful, and overwhelming college is at times. One thing I've learned is that responsibilities and assignments don't stop in the face of personal or mental struggles, making it difficult to keep up with everything. If you're reading this and are feeling similar things, just know that we're all in the same boat and that we will get through this

There is so much pressure to be in a giant friend group. This pressure causes us to force friendships, drain our time and energy reserves, and put up a front on social media for the sake of being in a group. We feel insecure and less validated when we don't find big friend groups, and we tend to prioritize quantity over quality. On today's episode, I am talking about why this pressure is damaging and how to actively combat it, because it is so much better to do your own thing and naturally find your close friends than to force yourself to be a part of a larger group. And as a reminder: at the end of the day, you are valuable no matter what.

For the last 20 years of my life, I've wanted to grow older. I always wanted to become more mature and experience all the things that happen with adulthood. I constantly asked myself, "what's next?" after I hit a milestone in my youth. However, now that I'm halfway through college, almost 21, and approaching the prospect of having a career, I've been finding myself wanting time to slow down. On today's episode, I am sharing all the random and little thoughts on my mind about growing up as of now...from my love for watching home videos, to my desire to maintain a childlike view of the world.

The idea of "work" and "life" being perfectly balanced and separate is an illusion that I have fallen for many times. This concept implies that a) balance is possible and desirable, b) work and life are the only two components of existence, c) work and life are entirely separate (that is, the investment in one equals a lack of the other), and d) our lives are static. Because of this, it creates a tug of war between "work" and "life," generating internal conflict that actually makes us less successful in investing in both elements. On today's episode, I am talking about why work-life integration is a much more sustainable and enjoyable way of living. You've probably heard the phrase, "choose a job you love, and you will never have to work a day in your life..." but the opposite is also true..."make play productive, and you will never have to work a day in your life."

Burnout happens to everyone. Last semester, I experienced extreme burnout (academic, social, mental, physical), which was very debilitating and limiting. I felt very disconnected from my reality, and I found that the small, easy things, such as going to class, cleaning my room, and getting lunch with a friend, were suddenly not so easy anymore. Thankfully, after taking this summer to rest and recover, I can now say that I am feeling super excited and energized for my junior fall, one full of responsibilities, new beginnings, and exciting events. However, though I am feeling ready to take it all on, there is still a fear in the back of my mind that I will burnout again...and I'm sure many of you can relate. So today, I am sharing some signs of burnout, and how I am going to try to prevent it, from recognizing the signs early to finding support in those around you. Burnout is an incredibly tough challenge to face, but we will get through it

Insecurity and jealousy are innate to the human mind, and we experience these emotions in regards to everything -- our self-image, social standing, careers, abilities, and relationships. Though a little bit of insecurity and jealousy can be healthy signs, when left unchecked, they cause great damage and harm. However, despite how prevalent they are, admitting we have these feelings is often seen as a sign of weakness or lack of confidence. On today's episode, I am deconstructing these emotions and explaining why I believe that pretending we don't feel insecure or jealous is actually worse. In addition, I am sharing a few tips on how to handle insecurity and jealousy, from questioning why you feel this way and looking at the bigger picture, to practicing gratitude and remembering your own value.

The other day, I was looking up physician profiles in Boston and had a mini-crisis when I realized that many of them practice medicine, work as professors, write books, run labs, have non-profits, bear awards, and of course, on top of it all, have families. However, I quickly remembered that this is not representative of most physicians in general, nor is it necessary in order to be "successful." I feel like over time, humans have grown more and more ambitious and perfectionistic, increasing competition and ultimately our societal standards in regards to everything. The "successful" individual not only "has it all," but they perfectly balance it all too. However, while perfectionism can be motivating, it is definitely damaging to our self-esteem and relationship with work. On today's episode, I am talking about how to mediate the perfectionist within, from reflecting on your progress and accepting mistakes, to setting deadlines and deconstructing the reason for why you have perfectionist tendencies. 

Recently, I've been trying to be more intentional about creating and preserving space for others and myself. In our everyday lives, we are constantly consuming social media, checking off our to-do lists, and rushing from one thing to the next, making us forget how to treat others and ourselves with love and respect. On today's episode, I am sharing some ways in which I have been slowing down and opening up more space in my life. From asking more questions and letting go of first impressions, to unsubscribing from mailing lists and cherishing commutes, here are some little tips for if you are feeling suffocated and overwhelmed by life. (Productive Study Lofi Playlist: https://open.spotify.com/playlist/3WLDIcG4Cx2UOPy0rbFhQn?si=64d506a0863e47f2)

Hi guys! I decided that I am going to switch up the format of the episode descriptions from now on to make them less formal :) Today, I am talking about the dilemma of expectations, because it's something we deal with almost 24/7 but aren't always aware of. Expectations can be good, but they can also be detrimental to relationships and our self-image, so I am sharing 7 tips for how to healthily adjust your expectations. From acknowledging your emotions, to working on communication, to listening to your gut, there are many ways to reframe the expectations we place on ourselves, others, and life in general. I hope some of these are helpful

On episode 69 of "Unfiltered," listen as Emily talks through a mental exercise she stumbled upon recently that prompted her to think about each of the relationships in her life at the current moment. Join her as she asks herself: what is one thing I admire about each person in my life? What has each relationship taught me? And do I feel challenged by a certain person or relationship?

On episode 68 of "Unfiltered," join Emily in her discussion on the topic of redefining what "healthy" means to her. From body image, to friendships, to social media, to herself, she has shifted her perspectives on so many aspects of her life. How is she working to overcome "hurry sickness"? What kind of friend does she want to be? And why is she so much more confident in the current version of herself? Find out on this episode :)

On episode 67 of "Unfiltered," listen to Emily's opinions on the challenges and benefits of traveling alone. Why does solo travel sometimes lead to FOMO? What is the line between being lonely and being independent? And how does traveling alone conserve one's mental/emotional energy? Find out on today's episode!!

On episode 66 of "Unfiltered," join Emily as she explains how traveling for the past month has genuinely changed her mindsets, tendencies, and perspectives on life. From building her "life skills," meeting people from all over the world, and dealing with last minute changes/situations, Emily has truly grown (in the best way) over the past month of living out of her suitcase. Why is a disruption of one's routine sometimes necessary? What are some crazy coincidences she has experienced while in Europe? And why does she believe good things are coming? Find out on this episode

After a 2-month break, join Emily on episode 65 of "Unfiltered" as she shares all of her thoughts, emotions, feelings, and lessons learned in the past two years of college. From trying new things, learning the value of sacrifice, exploring different expressions of love, and making spontaneous memories, Emily has experienced a whirlwind of change and beauty in college. How has she gained a new form of confidence? How has she leaned into the natural ebbs and flows of life? And how has she continued to keep an open mind and open heart from freshman year until now? Find out on this episode

On episode 64 of "Unfiltered," listen to Ben Zhang talk about his experiences with being an international student at Harvard. Born in China and raised in New Zealand, Ben found his first semester in America somewhat difficult and unfamiliar. However, after having time to meet his close friends, strike a work-life balance, and gain appreciation for both home and school, he has found the past four years of Harvard to be both quick and formidable. How has being an international student shaped his identity? What are the biggest lessons he has learned at Harvard? And when he looks ahead to graduation and medical school, what thoughts and emotions arise? Find out on this episode.

On episode 63 of "Unfiltered," listen as Emily chats about her recent mental rut and other life changes. How has spending more time alone been a formidable experience for her? How has she been learning to trusting herself? And why is patience and self-love so important during periods of change? Find out on this episode